Oh well, if it isn't my little sloppy mddy coddle nimwits joining me today. I hope you're doing well, and I've had successful captures since last week and haven't done something so asin on and like not listen to your stepmother speaking of it is me. You're perfectly standing, iconic and tight as all hell. Stepmother here to give you the fourth and final episode of the husband Hunt. That's right.
Today we are going to be talking about securing the most important piece of the puzzle after the past three episodes. Since I know your brains cannot retain or recall any pertinent information, I will be reviewing what we went over in episode three. Now. On episode three we reviewed, of course, making sure every single person in your praise life is obsessed with you, and by that I mean wants to fuck you. It is important that you never fall asleep, to never give any one of influence but a smidgen
of air to ever talk shit about you. You never want to get too close to the children now, and remember if you do, you should always and will always frame them for things such as, but not limited to, petty theft and of course murder. It's always important we gain full financial control for eventually when things become legal, which is what we are going to go over to day. Wow, I can't believe this journey we've been on together, the whole shebang of the husband hunt, here to one stunning
final episode. It's securing, that's right, or, as I like to say, till death or divorce do us part a successful capture. Bravos, It's time we secure. You're that filthy, stinky bag of richie rich who have come to be your fortunate prey. So what does your dear stepmother mean by securing while making it legal? Of course? Ring ring ring ring ring ring? Are those No? They simply couldn't
be wedding bells? I hear, yes they are. Congratulations you're getting married, But not so first, before you think you can confidently strut your snorched little wist in your custom Oscar de Laurenta gown in those six and Christian lubatans, you are mistaken. The job is not complete, dear. Just because you have a ring on your finger, a lot can go wrong between now and I do so naturally to ensure that that's not going to happen, I'm going to go over what not to do for you? Daft
little do what's first starters? No one looks a messy bitch. Remember, marriage is a business there, and you are about to become the c e fucking Oh but we cannot have anyone poking holes in our plans. So everything from now until I do has to be bulletproof. I'm talking not even an a k fuck can come into that wedding hall and blow it the funk up. Once you have married here, pray why anything can happen? Accidents happen all
the time. But until then you cannot start acting a fool. Don't, for example, say stay neutral on the full concept of marriage. A lot of young kids these days act like, you know, you're better than the easiest contract to sign in the world marriage. What they don't realize is we don't get married because, oh, we don't want to be lonely. We want a partner, We need companionship, we need identity. Now we're getting married because it is our job. That's right. R j Ob. Want to know how to go from
no figures to ten figures? Overright? Easy? Marry it now. Don't become a bridezilla. I don't care if the in laws have decided. Your white and colors are going to be vomit green and dehydrated syrup is yellow. You dear, say yes. You don't want to give anyone a single fucking reason to say you are difficult while you are as easy as dipping into a vat of I can't believe it's not butter. You're going to be that easy, breezy, beautiful bride and there will be no ifs, aunts or
butts about it. Let the wedding planner take care of everything, do you hear me? That's what you pay them for. Let them do their job. You have a problem, make it the wedding planners problem, not yours. You are not going to become the demon you have house inside of you. You are going to keep that to yourself until it's time for double our start now. Don't do what some of you foolish little fuckers do and get sentimental. Only
get sentimental if it benefits him. When you put expectations on the wedding day that oh, it's supposed to be emotional or worse fulfill some kind of god awful pathetic preview. Butstn't fantasy you had as a child. It won't this is a per perform and steer a grand concerto, the Aria and the Count of Monte Cristo. It is a business performance in you you are merely playing the oscar
winning part of best Actor. Remember these richie riches, especially the oldiest, love sentimental bullshit too, So just let them take the lead. Hopefully this is their last time walking down the aisle, or even walking at all. If they want to get married in Buffalo, New York, in the depths of winter, let them. If they decide they want to bear foot wedding and Mary, let them. I know you won't be able to wear the Christian Lubertante so
desperately wanted to wear. But to remember, there's always next time. Now, don't do something compliartic like putting any of your pre existing funds in a joint account. I don't care if the only thing you have is a easily torn dollars that you made from selling one foot picture on only fans. That does not go in the account. The only thing going in that joint account is money that he puts in for your monthly maintenance and of course the maintenance
of the house. From there on, Ada will be wedding gifts and other funds that you allocate for yourself, but you will then decide. Uh. And besides, he should be happy to put money in this account at this point, as it is his honor to see you thrive and grow as his beautifully bestowed bride. Now, don't sign any contract, especially one as horrid as I can't even say it him choking on the word up pre nup. Do you
understand me? If a pre nup gets brought up, and I hope you did a good job until this point, that it won't even be a thing that would lip into his little mind. But if it does, you need to get your own lawyer. Do you understand now? We don't care about the sentimental bullshit he might want to leave to his god awful spawn. We just want all the liquid assets and anything of course with high resale values, such as a property or art or jewelry, cars, et cetera.
Think portfolios, darling. Now, if you have to sign the prenup, and I mean have to have to, please just make sure that all of the assets it's protecting are completely meaningless, and always make sure there are loopholes. The law can always work on our favor. Eventually, now most importantly, something to remember, something that all of you young pathetic lunatics need to remember. Don't get to comfortable. We are too close to securing the grand prize to let our true
colors shine through. So you must stay method in the person, the gorgeous person that you have created, that has become your captured praise fantasy. You cannot deviate from the person who has gotten him to propose with a forty one carrot canary diamond. Dear, you can't do anything so foolish as to let him see a crack or crevice of the real person you are inside. And if you have committed wholeheartedly to this, why you don't even know who
that person is anymore. Now, of course it's story time, will I'll tell you a tragic tale of what I lost one of the biggest linosaurs of my life, all because I deviated. I deviated from the person I created an eye God, I let him see I was human and no one, no one wants to love humans, So of course, let me paint the picture. He was eighty seven years old. He owned every single crude oil barrel
from here wrapped around the globe a million times over. Yes, he was pure disgusting evil money, so stinky rotten it could probably make Peppy le Peu vomit himself. Now I had finally secured a gargantuan rock. I'm talking a rock so big I needed to walk around with a little crane to hold my finger up. Why it was gorgeous. It was a rock from Cartier, made a nineteen forty for a Rockefeller themselves, a rock so big it looked
like a boulder, probably upwards of sixty carrots. So to celebrate her pre week to the wedding, he takes me to No Boo Malibu, one of my favorite restaurants in the world, Malibu Noble. What could go wrong? Sitting at the beach, the waves crashing against the restaurant, sipping on alicchi martini, and you know this Richie rich had never seen me drunk, he had never seen me loose. But I figured, why not. We're a week away. I can
let it out a little bit. And I have been pursuing him and with him and capturing him for nine months. It was time that I let my freak flag fly, and not just in the bedroom. And I thought, gosh, this man, he'll never leave me. Why He's obsessed. He dips my toes and hummus and licks it right off for lunch every single day. How could I ever do
anything to mess this up? Well, one Lichi martini to Lechi Martini three four five, A few pieces of uney and that rock shrimp mixed with a spicy mao and ponzo. And next thing you know, oh that tell me is grumbling. I'm slurring my speech talking about the fact that I went to University of Arizona, something he never even knew I did. I'm talking all about how I used to consume family sized bags of sour cream and onion chips. And the next thing you know, my stomach is grumbling
so loud. I'm about to blow. So I make him get the range Rover, not get in the car, and I unleash a gas that's so toxic. Why it practically burned a hole through that custom Gucci leather. It blew up the car so bad it was like tear gas. He started to sob he couldn't breathe. He said that I was ruining his nasal canal. And when we got home,
why I blew up that bathroom for hours? Those five licchi Martiniz and that ponzo rock shrimp and that uney did me and I was having diarrhea from dusk till dawn, practically demoed the place. In that time. I told him things about me. I never wanted him to know. I didn't need him to know the truth, didn't need him to know that I ever even tasted a sour cream and onion lace chip let alone went to state school.
So when I finally crawled out of the bathroom, and I know it was bad, every single window in the house was open deer, and I'm talking around two hundred and fifty six windows. While he was gone, a note was left transferring you some money so you can get on your feet going to the house and the Canary Islands. Good luck, godspeed. The wedding's off. Now you can imagine how much work I put in to that, only to let a little piece of ship ruin my chances with
one of the biggest catchers of all time. The good thing is when someone proposes to you, the ring does become a gift. So I was able to use that gigantic rock as a safety net. But I was just so sad that the thing that blew up My prospect. Life with him was literally turds. Was turds that were shooting out of me for hours on and turds so vile. He completely forgot about the rip roaring sex I would have to him to his favorite Elvis LP. He completely forgot about the fact that would dress up as a
flapper to cosplay like his dear old mommy. He completely forgot about the fact that I sacrifice everything in my life for him. Hm. Why that little slip and slide of ship when I painted the town brown in that bowl? He knew then that I was not his bride. No, I was just a floozy who wanted chess. Now, don't let something like shit or him seeing the true you ruin your chances down the aisle. You are not safe until you say I do. Now, of course, what to do? Now,
you're wondering, good stepmother, He hasn't even proposed yet. How do I get him to propose? Well, that's easy, dear ask. We only get what we ask for in this life, So don't be a shy little rabbit now and just fucking ask you say to him, you know what I would love to do? Get married? You know what I've fantasized about doing getting married and he will get the picture. Don't do something as stupid as putting let's say, photos of Cape Middleton's ring on his iPad. He is not
going to get it. You have to spell it out for him. And hopefully you've already been perfect as I know you have, so it's not going to be that hard. If you've followed all of my advice over the last three episodes, he should be running to Harry fucking Weston himself and getting you the biggest rock available in the world. That's right. Now, do be specific about the engagement ring. As I mentioned but a minute ago. You want a
ring with high resale value. Remember this is legally a gift. Technically, if you don't make it down the aisle, you can at least have the ring as a gorgeous little nest until you've officially moved on to your next hunt. It's not so bad to go out there and sell that rock at Christie's first, say fifteen million dollars. That should tide you over for a few months. Dear, now, do hire your own lawyer. I don't want to say it again, I don't care if you don't have the personal finances
to find it, blow them, suck them off. I don't know, do something, get creative. Just get your own lawyer. You cannot use the family lawyer. The family lawyer does not have your interests at heart. Why they have the families. So you want someone that is only looking out for you and dear. That is not going to be the old family lawyer that's been looking over the trust for the past fifty years. No, that's going to be some person you find that is shady. You want the shadiest
lawyer in the business. You want a lawyer that lacks any morals at all. You wan a lawyer that's going to come in and suck and fuck your prey just as you have. So the more deranged the better. Now, do please do clean out your closet. We all have skeletons back there, and it's important that we are clean as a whistle if we don't even want anyone seeing that we potentially have a flawed credit score. I want you to be spick and span as that wretched, god,
awful and iconic Miss Hannigan says. I wanted to shine like the top of the chrystlbel like I don't want anyone to ever do any digging and see but a bad photo of you in a horrid Collorween costume from two thousand and nine. I need you descrub everything, change your name if you have to. It's not that hard. People hide out in the outskirts of Tucson, Arizona all the time. I think you can do the same. Now,
this one is very important. Do collect evidence of love, pure love in your favor when the time comes for a divorce or accord hearing against say his angsty little rat children. It's important to have collected memories, love letters, no videos, any kind of sentimental clipping to sway a jury, and knowing, of course this man wants to leave you everything. We need to be building a case from the second we lay eyes on them to the second we watch
them die or divorce them. We want to have a case so strong that our love is like watching the love of fucking the notebook. Okay, we want our love to be so convincing. People shed tears when they hear you argue in court. But he just wanted me to have the life he knew I deserved, and that starts with evidence. So make the evidence, memories, collaging, whatever, fucking decoupage bullshit you have to do. Make sure you have a case. Please start slowly transferring funds. It's the easiest
thing you can do. The second you get agg as to any account, why go and use that credit card by yourself something expensive, return it, get the returning cash and just starts stowing that cash away. Soon the purchases can become bigger and bigger. Soon you'll be able to just start inconspicuously writing checks to yourself. Oh, the maid came twice today and you just happened to be one of those mates. But this is the most important thing you should do. Build trust. Once you say I do,
the job does not end there. You need to continue to build trust. You are a team. Now you are husband and wife. Remember you want him to trust you so much that the second you say I do, you also get a position on every single one of his company's boards. You want to become the full executor of his estate. That is the goal. So he must trust you, trust you trust you. The second you say I do, Wow, that trust has just percolated and bubbled over into absolute
merital bliss for him and for you. It doesn't stop there. The trust just goes and goes and goes and goes and goes, and finally, a very important thing to remember is when to cut them loose. When can I get the divorce stepmother? When can I set myself free? After five years, I'd say five years is enough time to fully convince everyone that you love them and that you're committed to them. Also, in that five years, you can do some pre research on other hunts you want to
be going on. Remember, as I mentioned in other episodes, it is okay for you to dip your toes in other sexpots. For example, any staff at the home or homes plural, a pilot of the private jetta, captain of the ship. All of those are fair game. Why affairs simply happen and they're out of your control, But do be controlled. You don't want to anyone divorcing you. Remember it's important to keep secrets, so don't tell anyone of your extramarital romps. I hope that was gorgeously informative. It's
time that I take some of your questions. I was secretly raised as a barefoot hillbilly with no sexual morals. My talents are a rare and precious thing. But how do I blow my man's mind and load without revealing to my fair lady of it all. Well, if that's not the horniest voicemail I've received, I don't know what is. It sounds like, my little sexual deviant freak, you have been doing just that, gulping down those loads and blowing
his god damn mind. Now, I don't think it matters where you were raised, And if he is so completely upset that you were raised a barefoot hillbilly, then that's on him. Dear Frankly, it sounds like you're doing a good job, and a damn good job at that. So I don't think that we should break something if it's not broken. And also if you never want him to know that you are a barefoot hillbilly, fine, for all he needs to know. You grew up on a yacht in the south of France, and your bare feet weren't
in that of a hillbilly town. But we're on that of freshly glossed teak in the Riviera. Now, I don't think it matters where you grew up. I think that, in fact, it could be one of your superpowers. As you said, you contain a rare and wild talent that I'm sure i'd be curious to know about. So stop feeling shame for being from a quote unquote hill billy area and start being proud, because after all, that is what gave you the power to completely get him to
squirt all the way up to the gods. Enjoy it, darling, and don't be scared. There's nothing that a little contour and a lot of luxury items can't hide, not a fan well away. We were talking to my friend Scott at the pool the other day. Uh, I just wanted to say that, Um, you know, waltz in here marrying my dad just talked to my buddy there. Um, you know he's it's a little it's a little nerving. Uh So what do you have to say for yourself? That's
what I want to know. It is not my fault, dear stepson, that your friend Scott was busy googl ng my rock hard nipples. Now, will you please stop berating me and go back into the basement where I believe you are fixing my hyperbaric chamber, Please hop to it. And also, God, you look like shit. If you don't start using those crest white strips on the daily, you're never going to move out of this house. Hi, I'm twice seven dating somebody who is born insane decade is
my parents. So he has three sons and they're all in college. So basically the question is when we do me like, what does that look like? What's the goal? God last, godspeed? M M. Well, finally we've acquired an aged taste. I'm proud of you. However, I hate the fact that he has three sons. If I've taught you nothing, it's please, please, please go out there and find someone that has no children, or at least only one or two.
Three is too much, especially sons. Now, I'm a little confused to be his stepmother needs to know if you have met or not. I say, if you haven't met him and the relationship, now and find a bigger cohna with less family. However, if you must meet, the goal is, of course to get him to marry you and sign everything over to you and cut out his little college bound kids. I think that you must be delicate, though, because you don't want to be too eager, So make
sure that your operation is kept under wraps. Don't let anyone know what you're actually there for, which, of course is not something as foolish as love, but as smart as unlimited credit and access to a black card. I like this guy. We've been sort of saying each other more soares having sex right now and then, but also talking and the kind of like connected in the same
front group. And I'm just curious what your advice would be as to how do you get into be more OBSESSI me because he's not as absessions I expected him to be at this point, and um, yeah, I just want to know what you think. Well, I think he is a goddamn idiot that you don't need to spend one more second of your precious little time thinking about. If he is not absolutely obsessed with you, licking your crack from click to asshole, then honey, he is not
worth your fucking time. He should be wanting to know where you are, when you are, what you are two four seven, And if he's not, then he sounds like a capital L lame loser. Now, I think that if you want him to be obsessed with you do the classic thing and emotionally shut down and ignore him. There's nothing that drives people more crazy that when they're not getting the attention and adoration they too think they deserve, so stop giving a funk about him and he'll start
giving a shit about you. However, he does sound rather tragic, dear, and I know you can do better, so stop thinking that. Way you need to be doing is focusing on why he's obsessed with you, and start obsessing over yourself. Well, wow, thank you so much for joining me on the husband hunt with me, your stepmother. It has been incredibly educational, I hope, and you've learned a lot. While you've learned how to seek, you're getting rid of that sticky, icky
old life into brighter, better, more bentiful pastures. You've learned how to spot them when you're now in better environments to see real richie riches. You have then figured out how to pursue them when you go after your sought after prey. You've learned how to capture them, that's right, how you're going to keep them, make sure they never want to leave you. And of course you've now learned how to secure them. You've learned how to get what you want, how to get them to posts, and how
to be that gorgeous, stunning bride. I know you will be or g room now. Did you know at monkey Bar you were going to run into one of the world's biggest plastic surgeons wearing that stunning vintage patcheck Philip. No, but did you see him at the bar and get his card? Yes? Did you then just so happen to show up at a clinic because you accidentally needed an emergency rhinoplasts? And oh he's your doctor? Why yes you did? Did you manage to have a lot of things in common?
And now all of a sudden he's taking you to meet his children and his friends on a gorgeous trip all the way down to St. Thomas. Why yes you did? Is he now going to propose to you after only knowing you for three months? And are you now going to inherit his say, sixty million dollars at massive five plus property real estate portfolio as well as his collection of McLaren's. Why yes you are? And when did you do this? All but in a span of a few short months? And that, my dear, is how you hunt.
Now I'll need you to drive me to Dr Diamond when my college and threads snapped while I was blowing daddy, and I can't have him see me with a prolapsed face. And when you return, please change my sheets. The cleaning lady won't be back until tomorrow, and I can't have your father spunk drying on them if it sits for one more moment. Why the ten thread Countergyptian carton is simply going to turn into a chip. Oh, and I forgot to say happy hunting.