Yeah, sorry, one second, one second. Once, guys, guys, I don't have I'm not wearing it, any clothes. That's it's it's against company protocol. I get moved after four. Okay, this is my nude meditation time, but come in. Okay. Are you going to put something on or are we going to have to just sit here with you in the nude and me that Um Pool floaty? Can you go? I'm just gonna put this in for is it more comfortable for all of us to disrobe? I have two extra pool floats in my office and we can do
modesty pool floats in full nude. Let's do it, let's let's all you go grab those, let's meet back here. Okay, okay, Great. My Pool float isn't quite wide enough my mid section. It's skimpy. Mine is mine is on the floor because my my waist is too tiny. Yeah, yeah, you have such a small snash. Did you do the cool sculpting? I did cool sculpting is air sculpting? Yeah, it doesn't matter. I brought sell what's the difference? I can't go into this.
I'm not a trained medical professional. I brought Celsius energy drink. Do you guys want some? Yeah, crack it open hands and over, please go. Well, uh, I'm still finishing my athletic Greens. Oh okay, can you drink both quickly? I guess so. Let's take fifteen and wait for him to drink. I don't want to hear that. You're gassing now. I'm not. I'm perfectly satiated, alright, with my two beverages. Okay, I'm a little gassie. This was supposed to start a half
hour ago. Can we get we have a huge series on our hands. It's a runaway train of success. Guys. The trades are saying deadline is saying this is a good one. Clown parade to break the streak because of the famed Hollywood curse of four. Oh my gosh, it's so true. Things always die. I was not aware of that. Well then, then put this puts a little pressure on. But tell us, okay, okay, we'll see. Tell you what we think. Sometimes makes a diamond. That's a rule, culture, rule, culture, number.
Sometimes pressure makes a diamond. Are you guys familiar with the social media handle fat carry Bradshaw, Chris Burns? We Love Chris Burns. We used to do like really really crazy shows with him back in the day. You should have seen US doing crazy shows in Brooklyn with fat carry Bradshaw, Crisp Burn. I guess who we've somehow roped into number four? If you say Kevin Spacey, I'M gonna lose my head. Hold on one second. Okay, paper, Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jesus, that you have to
look down and see this one. Mr Chris Burns, okay, has created Mr Stephen Bellmore, a teacher at a gifted school does not mind spilling the t about the staff and students on his podcast. Saved by the BELMORE. Oh my God, it's just gonna be a gossipy gay teacher with wordplay. I am obsessed. Okay, you know what, I'm not worried about the cursive, for if anyone is going to save us and break us out of it's Chris. Chris, yeah, because he is an incredible young talent, and that's what
we're looking for. We're going for young talent, yes, like myself. No, well, Hey, no, forever, Hoever, let me get my walker. Well, stop, you have a good life. Greens are backing up on me. Don't indulge in this speaking, we're all nude and Gassie here in my office and I'm just I'm just trying to keep this together. Okay, I'm trying to keep this running professionally. Okay, I have some notes about Chris. Chris is a comedian,
writer and actor, just blessed with natural good looks. I'm just there's no question about what we can tell you from striking, striking beauty, striking and I think this will be something that really gives it to him. It's like the industry. I think we can really this is our chance to really show the Biz that we are hot messing around. I'm just thinking about how deadline is going to be eating their hats. The BIZ is not going to know what hit him. Well, once they listen to
saved by the ELMORE. Welcome to save it by the Belmore. With me, Mr Stephen Belmore, and this is our very first episode and I could not be more excited. My name is Mr Stephen Belmore. I'm a theater, improvisational comedy, public speaking and home economics teacher at Lakeland public high school. I took the job five years ago, you know, and I paid to have for the gifted and talented added to the sign for the school, because I think it's important that kids, even if they have no gifts and
no talents, feel like they do. I am still paying off my credit card debt for that charge, so it wasn't fully worth it and it was vandalized. I have a degree in theater, arts and home economics from the University of Tucson Online. I felt into home economics, as artists types like myself tend to do. I had to take a finance credit to complete my degree and somehow
mistook home economics for an actual economics course. I did not learn about how to invest, but I did learn how the difference between baking powder and baking soda does actually matter, which is not something I ever knew before. Speaking of degrees, the rumors are true, I'm getting an
honorary doctoral degree from the St Croix School of acting. Finally, especially because I've been on so many zoom meetings and I've donated so much to the school already via Venmo, and I really hope that someday, when I get down to that passport office, I'll be able to get a passport and I'll be able to travel and I'll be
able to show the acting skills that I possess. I have unlimited experiences in acting and producing and writing and directing, singing, dancing, dancing, pop dancing, ballet dancing, jazz dancing, tap arm flailing, Har Ography and more so, the big question, how does an irreplaceable talent like myself end up in a public servant job? Well, quite simply really. I I took the job after my
parents cut me off. Okay, I started teaching the day after my parents did come into my my wing of the House, and they cut me off and they told me that I would no longer be able to produce my one man show the crucible, where I played all the parts in the crucible, with the exception of John Proctor, who I did cut from the show entirely. But Alas, I'm not alone here. I could never do saved by the bellmore without my trustee steed. Wow, well, I don't know how I'm comparable to a horse, but yeah, I
get it. It's a compliment. Steeds are strong. Okay, Cindy is not only my producer, she rents a room for me. Actually, I did live here first. The details are murky, especially after you met with that lawyer and had yourself added to the deed of the house, Cindy, that's just good business sense. Okay, no matter where I go, I add my name to the deed of that house. That's common knowledge about me. It's on my facebook page. It's about
protecting yourself. Now, what do we know about Cindy? I'll explain, Cindy. Thank you so much. Cindy's kids left for college and her husband left as well, only he was not going to Sunni on I Anta. He was going to a new life with an unnamed real housewife of New York City who did used to be some kind of royalty. Well, well, well, he didn't leave me necessarily. Sometimes, when we text he says he may come back, you know. So there's there's hope. Okay, Cindy,
let's not let's not get too sad here. All right, UM, Cindy has worked for me since the show came to fruition in my mind last year. We've been working. See, see, I don't know about working because you know, I've never gotten a paycheck. Speaking of Um, the electric bill has gone a considerable since producing a live radio show in my addicate. Cindy, well, maybe if you didn't have to
teach yourself how to edit using youtube videos. I told you that I was thinking about doing this years ago, and you're the one who insisted on waiting to learn. Cindy is not only my producer, are you, sind she's my best friend and, of course, my favorite cousin, besides Gloria and Adam, but I just have a lot more in common with Gloria and Adam. You understand totally. Yeah, I mean, I don't love how Gloria now always refers to me as your assistant instead of as your sister.
But yeah, yeah, she's great. She is so great. I wish she could be here, but she's still happily married. Oh God, Cindy, are you ready to to our first segment? So it's called. Don't interrupt me, Cindy's okay, it's believe it or not. So, Cindy, thank you so much. God. She loves a good joke. I do love that about her. Cindy, you know that this segment is where we will chat and chat, gossip about things I'm hearing, about things I need to tell other people in case they need to
be protected from other people's terrible words. Speaking of, guess who, I'm not on speaking terms with none other than my friend of me turned boss, Miss Amy Joe Fletcher, the principle of Lakeland high school. I Love Amy Joe. No, we used to love Amy Joe, and that is before she decided to make it her own personal mission to make me look like some sort of scumbag. She told me that talking down to my students is a bad look for the school, a bad look for me personally and a bad look for the L G B T
q a a community in general. Let me ask you something. Who exactly is Miss Amy Joe Fletcher to discuss anything about the LGBT plus community? Well, just fact checking. She has been married to a woman for about eight years now. Of course she's The l she has to be first in everything, and that's a that was a joke, Sind now, okay, thank you so much. Anyway, ever since Amy Joe has decided she doesn't want to be friends with a fat person, and I'm assuming that's what it is. I don't know
what else it possibly could be. I I did decide to switch kickboxing JIM's. Will join a kickboxing Jim, I guess I should say, to meet Amy Joe's wife, Bonnie, and you know what? IT TURNS OUT BONNIE LOVES TO BE AN ASSHOLE too. She wouldn't even spar with me because she said I have, quote unquote, intense vibes. Well, what was your breathing like? It was like it was normal, like normal, too heavy. Are you doing that like teeth
gritting thing you do when you're doing anything physical? I don't know, Cindy, I wasn't looking in a mirror the whole time. I'm not obsessed with myself like some people. I'm I'm only saying because, you know, usually Bonnie is so nice. She was my husband's nurse when he broke his leg flong off the ladder that Christmas. I cannot believe you're bringing this back to your husband. It's not a good look. Um. Let's let's move on. Okay, to
my plan. My plan to befriend Bonnie failed, which means my life is miserable, even though I am the director of the Lakeland High Theater Department. For whatever reason, I'm supposed to get approval for the shows I choose to put on at Lakeland High, again my department, and even though I constantly present original works, uh, like one man's journey a memoir about one man's journey, the Stephen Belmore
journey story. Thank you so much, Miss Mary Hack. An original musical about growing up in a small town, the rise of Stephen Belmore. It's, it's, it's thank you so much. You know a lot of people didn't get that piece and I knew you were there every night and I appreciate that, Cindy, but she went ahead and she rejected hell on three inch heels, a musical about a failed dre queen who has to go back to college and become a teacher. The lead is named Stephen Belmore. I
do love hell on three inch heels. I mean the music was amazing. I am still dealing through the legal matters there because, as you know, it was all of DULPA's music and Um somehow she did find out, so we are in a legal battle there. The point is the only show she has approved is rent, anything goes, or Greece. So we have now done those on a rotation over the past five springs and over the past five falls. So when I was told I had to do rent again, it was time to get inventive. What
did you do? Are you trying to play Mimi again? No, so I actually did try holding outside auditions for just the principal roles. I was still going to bulk up the chorus with these students who God knows what's going on there. But not only was I told to take the posting down, I was not reimbursed from my backstage
dot com manual membership fee. So now I have to go ahead and listen to a bunch of untalented kids sing rent at me, and I can't even afford my netflix premium membership to wind down, but you use my netflix membership. And on top of everything, they promoted Mrs Bittner as the head of the Home Economics Department. Well, that's good. You hate home economics. I know I do, Cindy, but I love being in charge much more than I hate home economics. So anyway, I trashed your classroom. I
blamed it on Ryan mcmurphy. You remember him. His parents were divorced. He's been acting out. Nobody questioned it, but still it stressed me out. You know, how about we switch over to your favorite topic, drama? Oh my God, I know we haven't even gotten to the drama yet. Okay, because we absolutely must discuss Miss Samantha Jones Wakowski. Now, we all remember Samantha Jones Wakowski. She's a student of mine. She has gay Dads, Michael are and Michael M and
I did used to be friends with them. They stopped talking to me because I cast Samantha Jones as the lead. Again. Her first name is Samantha Jones and she'll be very upset if you refer to her as anything other than that, which I always did. I said I wish it was Carrie and she would always be upset by that. But Anyway, she did have Gay Dad. So I cast her as the lead and then immediately took it away because she
had an acne flare up the week before the show. Yeah, I know nothing against her personally, but she was purely cast as sandy because she had the look, not the talent. If I had been casting for a proactive commercial, she would have been more than welcome. Of course, Amaga feelings. What are the michaels up to now? Well, they did start to change that organ petition to remove me as the director of the theater department. So I yeah, can you believe that ship? So I went ahead and I
called the adoption agency where the michaels found Samantha. Everything checked out with their paperwork. There was nothing wrong, which is unfortunate for me. So I'm going to have to figure out something drastic now. Oh, did I tell you about Damien? Remember Damian, my ex fling? He's very hot, very masculine, which I love. Obviously, mask for mask, like I always say, and I like to feel safe, you know, he he always makes me feel safe, and that's why
I've always kept a machete under my pillow. It just provides the peace of mind. Steve, Steven Machete. Yeah, it's it's like a large knife. No, I know what what that is. That that's the upsetting part. I know, imagine how I feel. I sleep with it under my pillow. I think about it all the time. I feel very safe. But Anyway, Damien made me feel like he was my
machete under the pillow, if that makes sense. And he was just the Hottest School Janitor, Immaculate Dresser, you know, fabulous Kisser who, for some reason I thought loved me. You know, I really did, and he also maybe thought that I was cast in an unnamed Broadway show. And then I had to um break up with him because I do not want everyone thinking I was cast in a Broadway show. I'm so sick of this fame following me around. I'm sick of people spreading the rumors that
I already have been in toty award winning musicals. You know, it's crazy. So many people talk about how I was on Broadway and it's just obsessed with me much, you know. But every time I go into the janitor's closet he waves at me and we've had just is Damien gay? I thought he was married. Well, the semantics on that are the reason that all of the dates happened in the school is because we're both very busy. Okay, let's there's pictures of his sister and him at a wedding
in his office, but that's a difference. In the well, we call it his office. Don't talk down you know. Finally, let's move on. Let's talk about six teen year old McKenna Nightingale who, at sixteen, has officially received more nose jobs than her terrible mother, Eileen, who once called New York one to come and do a story about me because I said McKenna had the dancing talent of a pigeon in a hurricane, the singing talent of Siam Alakar from American idol season six, and the acting talent of
Lindsay Lohan's mother, Dina. Okay, and on that note, I think it's time for our first guest. Oh, you do love to stay on track. I can always count on Cindy to keep me on track. You're welcome. Let me bring in today's guest. Not only is she a dear friend and a bartender, she's a head bartender. That's right, we have none other than Miss Tanya matrimony, the head bartender at rock bottom exotic dance club, the Strip club
just down the street from Lakeland high. Welcome Tanya, Tanya, uh, thanks so much for having me, Stephen, I'm so happy to be here. UH, because Cindy said on the phone that you had the fifty dollars you borrowed from I
am so happy that you are here to Tanya. Tanya and I met when her son, miles, who was a student of mine before, of course, he was expelled for allegedly planting cocaine on another teacher and I publicly supported miles instead of the teacher, whose name escapes me because legally I'm not allowed to say it, and Tanya and I just became fast friends. We were chatting on facebook, and Donna was when I was bartending at packaged slings, the all male review downtown. Well, I don't think we
need to waste time on those semantics. Yeah, we have to, we have to. Let's get some semantics. It's just different memories. Well, that could have been I have a face of a lot of people say, actually, I look like Zac Efron, so maybe that's who you saw. O, you have questions for me. I guess my first question is, why are you laughing so hard about me looking like Zac Efron? I'm not getting those fifty dollars, an't i. Let's move
into the questions. You know when Um, you're right, I need to be like Anderson Cooper here and ask the hard questions. As head bartender at the most exclusive, exotic dance cub within a mile of the public school, how many teachers do you see on a regular basis? To be honest, you know, we got a lot of big spenders at this bar and I feel like teachers are pretty broke. No, we do see some. I don't know if it's cool to say their names. Maybe just if
I guess. Will you say yes or no? Mary Joe Fletcher, the principal. She's a lesbian, you know. No, I feel like she really is happy with her wife. Oh, so you know Bonnie as well. Very interesting. Yeah, they're really cute. I always see them at Loews. Remember lows. They're they're they're really nice. You've seen them at lows. Probably spending taxpayer money, I would assume, on things to what, build pools,
to build an ivory tower on their land. I mean it's yeah, I think they had like a ceiling leak, so they were like we're fixing that, um, because they said they got a praise and it was like would be like twenty or thirty dollars and they couldn't afford it, so they were just trying to fix it themselves. So sweet. What a sweet couple. Um. Well, I do know that several of your coworkers are Lakeland parents. Let me ask you,
who do you hate the most? Barbara or Amanta? I know that they're both full time over there because I do follow them on instagram under a fake instagram account. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's like a job anywhere else and like, for the most part, where we all get along, but some days, under stress like they can get annoying. You heard it here first, folks, Amanda is annoying at work. Tell us everything that she does. Does she clock out early? No, please,
off forwards in my mouth. I was just saying that, like any any coworkers, can have days that they're annoying. I probably have days where I'm annoying. I would agree with that. Uh, let's let's move on. Since somebody apparently is keeping the secrets under lock and key, what do I have to do to get in there? Knock, knock, Knack. A gossip podcast, you know, you told me that if I come, that Steve will give me the fifty dollars that he borrowed from me. I don't know, I was
coming on a gossip podcast. We'll, we'll talk about this. Uh, I'll send you an email afterwards. Yeah, thank you. Um, you don't even have my email, cindy, we'll find it. Let's move on. A lot of people have said that I have the seductiveness and Dan experience required to be an adult entertainer. Thank you, Cindy. WHO said that? Cindy? Steve's got a body that won't quit. All right, yeah, Cindy, among others. Cindy's friends on instagram are always begging her
to go live with me. It's true. So Cindy has fifty eight followers, and ten of them are your family and they're all fans. Yeah, just Rome wasn't built in a day. Okay, you know, just twenty years ago, Kim Kardashian didn't even have any followers on instagram. Well, twenty years ago instagram didn't exist. INSTAGRAM has only been around since. Well, so, so, do you think Steve would have a job as an entertainer at the club? People are into everything these days.
So do I think there'll be a crowd of people that would be into Steve Danson? Yes, yes, wow, that is who wouldn't want to see a ZAC Efron look like? I think you could pull a big crowd, Steve. Okay, well, we already know Cindy's in that crowd, and you know it's a crowd for one, so that's great. Yeah, I can't help but notice that you must be feeling a little bit PTSD. We haven't really talked since miles was expelled.
How's he adjusting to his new school? Miles, you know, he's literally playing video games right now and calling people all kinds of words on, you know, xbox live whatever. He's a little asshole, but I love him. Yes, that sounds like him. That sounds like him. What a great kid. Yeah, he's just he's a little asshole, but he's my little asshole. You know what I'm saying. I did see on the news he was stealing a bunch of Robatas and from
right aid. I saw him in the background there. I wanted to find out if you had any of that left in stock. It's expensive. No, we don't have it in stock. No, first, so that's a felony. Well, it's not for any thing bad. I was just going to sell it on posh mark for a reduced price from the store. It's a great way to make extra dough. You're the one who needs fifty dollars. So bad, fifty dollars that I lent to you already, allegedly. MM HMM.
I feel like it's pretty confirmed as because Cindy came anyway. Miles is great. You know, I really am trying to instill that like there's accountability and like, you know, look at yourself before you blame others. You know, you can't just keep blaming other people for your problems and to try to grow and learn from your mistakes, all things that I feel like some people on this podcast can learn from. But that's neither here nor there. I'm so
glad to hear that you're finally expanding yourself. That sounds wonderful. I feel like we're on the different page. Well, I know that you meant that we're on the same level emotionally. Is what I was receiving, and that just really, really takes me to a great place and I would love to end on that. It's very inspiring. That's not what I said it at all and I'm being wildly misinterpreted, but I don't want to be on this podcast any longer. So I can't believe there is a gossip podcast. I
can't believe anyone's listening to this. Well, if you want to support Tanya and miles Um to get the teacher who had expelled him fired, please Venmo at Stephen Belmore fifty dollars and I will get that on over to Tanya as soon as possible Sunday get her out. Would you like to plug anything Tanya before we let you go? UH, sure, I didn't agree to that? Well, no, please, you can come see me every Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday at rock
bottom exotic dance club down the street from Lakeland. High U, tip your bartenders, be kind to each other and, uh, good night. Wow, you told me that you weren't working those days, but I'll text you. Okay, you know not, don't come. Okay, bye. Thank you so much, Tanya. Wow, how sweet is shade? She's always just the best. Am I wrong? She's the best. She is, she is, and you know, look what you did. You took the fifty dollars and you created an empire. I sure did. God,
you're so right. I created an empire, I really did. This is this is you giving back to Tanya. And speaking of giving back, it is time for our last segment. Belmore's Chore, Where My Chore is to Give Back. Okay, it's my favorite thing to do. Yes, yes, you love giving back, Cindi, let's just get into it. Tell me who we're helping today. Well, today we're helping a listener who goes by Sharon. Well, I don't love the name Sharon. Maybe she could change her name to something more exotic,
like Giselle or or Robin. With a y Robin Fun. Well, while her question is okay, dear Mr Bellmore, my husband is also a janitor. I know you too have dated someone in the maintenance department and it's not an easy place to be. Late nights early mornings. I don't have to tell you it's difficult being a maintenance mistress. Sometimes he has late nights and even full weekends where he doesn't have access to his phone. Sometimes his boss texts him pictures of what she's wearing and asks his opinion.
She's recently divorced herself, so I understand she needs a second opinion from time to time, but sometimes I feel like she should be able to go on vacation without taking my husband, her office is maintenance man, with her. I've even heard him call her babe on the phone. My poor guy must be so stressed maintaining such a high maintenance Bos. My question is, how do I keep the romance alive when my man gets home from a
particularly hard day? Steve and I um, I'm interested to hear your answer for this for Miss Giselle well, as someone who also dates a very busy maintenance man who actually has saved me in his phone as Rando. You know, that's what he put in his phone. That's his nickname
for me. That's sweet, that's sweet, that's very endearing. Um, I feel as though you gotta just stick it through, because someday he will leave the sister that he lives with and has kids with he's raising at least my maintenance man is helping to raise his sister's children in a house where they all live together and and to keep the romance alive. For me, I like to do
little dress ups. I'll dress up in like a businesswoman uniform, okay, and send him a picture and be like come on down, come on down to the to the theater waiting, and he'll be like just come to maintenance and I'm like, okay, he can't even wait, he can't even make his way to the theater department. or I'll like dress up in a fun little schoolgirl uniform because I found all those uniforms in the back hallway that they weren't using. Oh
my God. And you know what? Sometimes I'll even be like, let's go on a weekend retreat and he's like I really can't, and I'm like I'll pay for everything and we can go to the casino and he's like, okay, I'll tell my sister that. Um, I'm starting to feel like me and the person who asked this question kind of have quite a bit in common. What did you say? The name was, uh Sharon. Oh, that's that's Damian's sister's name is actually Sharon. That's a sister. You say, Huh,
is there an email there or UH Sharon to go? Okay, uh, we're gonna go ahead and stop that right there. Um, that is not the Sharon that I know. okay, delete that email. Trace it. Do you know? Have you learned how to trace on Youtube? Trace with the email? Um, is this something I can do on my phone? or there's trace the email? It is an earth link address, so I don't know. Do I need a PC for that? No, I'm not sure how they do it on criminal minds,
but I'll take notes during tonight's episode. Please do, please do, send me those notes. Well, we'll figure it out. Listeners, it's not. It's not the same Sharon. That's he's not. He's not married. Number one, that he's not. You know, don't look at me like that, Cindy, you have a failed marriage to okay, failed marriage. Listen, we're not going to get into your husband leaving you for a Roney
cast member. It's possible, for it's about me. It's about me for once, Sandy, you're right, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry, Steven. I'm sorry, Steven Um. Congratulations on another excellent episode. Yes, thank you. That's all we have for today. Once our neighbors start streaming television services, the WIFI gets very spotty, UH, too spotty to record. But we will be back next week with an all new drama, all new advice and the same Old Belmore