Parts Talk Presents: Sex Ed (short for Education) (Episode 3)

with the picture of a steaming hotsop Broughtson. My dog was screaming. I swear to god, I was about four minutes from taking the flare gun out of my emergency kid in my trunk and robin that truck. I mean, I would have done it anyways, this Parks Talk. I'm doctor Needsy Pitts, Wilmington, Delawares, number one female obg y N and here on Parts Talk we talk about all things parts. I'm talking the nasty downstairs ones and some of the fun ones up top. What all the highways

are shut down? Because oh what he's here. The bidens are here. The first Family of America is in town. Boy, Ryan Phillippi, I think we found today's Biden's body. You know, I'm upset about the traffic before, but now I don't care. I spend the rest of my life starving to death behind the WALLWAT truck have been meant that the Biden's got where they needed to go. I mean, heck, I think everyone should be put a mandatory house rest when they're in town. Get out of their way. They've got

places to be. Oh god, I wonder if doctor Jill is going to have enough time to stop at Crabby Dicks or Soft Show. She loves those things. The Bidens really are the Kennedy's of Bellaware, if you think about it. I mean, heck, they're even better than the Kennedy's, more dignified and classy, like the Kennedy's gotten in trouble, you know, going to Martha's vineyard and partying with Marilyn and whatnot.

But the Bidens they're just down a robe of beach, riding their bikes, getting again, maybe playing a game of cards after dinner. They're like everybody else, but so much better. Yeah. Well, let's just say that's pretty much the most exciting thing had happened to me all year if you want to really think about it, I mean, my niece's communion just doesn't compare. Now, I'm real excited for this next segment because it's about the people that are the backbones of

the health system and don't get hardly enough credit. I'm talking nurses. I love nurses so much. Honestly, if I weren't a doctor, I would be a nurse. Doctors are awkward mouth breathers with serial killer handwriting, and nurses are angels from heaven who wears SpongeBob Scrow. So today we're going to take a second to shout out all the nurses who saved my ass every day and the things I would do for them if I had to. In a little segment we like to call nurses, I would

die for Carla and Pete's. I'd sell my hair for us like gift to the Magi. Nicole from Nanick you first of all, great name job Combo. You can have my car. I might need a ride, but you can have it. Keisha, the way you hold forceps, I'd give you a kidney bone marrow, whatever you need, Ellen, mortgage my house, Tom and Pediatrics Jack shit, Tom, Male nurses get a bad rep and you're not doing a good

job helping that. Oh you think you're better than me because you have the vending machine on your floor with the peanut butter TwixT bars. You're not better than me. You know what she did and arrhymes with pull my darking pace. That's right, you stole my parking space. Also, I saw your girlfriend once and I could see her thong. This has been nurses. I would die for. Fuck you, Tom. So let's get into today's topic, which is sex ed

short for education. So a lot of you use guys at home might not know this, but to avoid spending time in my own house, I also do sexual education assemblies at high schools. Yeah, about fifteen percent of the kids have already had children of their own, but there's always that other eighty five percent, and the school district is so underfunded. They had the gym teachers teaching health and jazz choir, so I figured i'd take some of

that off their plate. My latest assembly left me so inspired that I've devoted this episode to sex ed for the utes. You know what I always say, You're never too much of a baby to learn how babies are made. I mean, why wish they'd let me teach sex? Said the kindergarteners. Now, something they learned very early working in schools is when talking about the body, you cannot show the student's pornography too. Many parents call so as a visual aid. I always use puppets, And as you can see,

I haven't them here. They can't see because it's a podcast. Well they'll get it. So this is the essential information that I give the kids about their changing bodies. In a segment I like to call puberty puppets. See this, See what he has between his legs. That's normal, okay, And see her these get bigger, that's normal. They don't get that much bigger. Normal too. God bless us us all in different ways. God made us all normal. See this hair here normal? That here there normal. The hair

there that's unsightly but technically normal. Up to you if you ask your parents to get that lasered off. And when the two puppets get aroused, this is normal. That's normal. This goes there normal, They go here, normal. She might go up here, guys go down there. Same sex couples normal normal, normal, normal. But the safest thing you can do is all just diddle yourselves and tell her at least twenty five, which, as you can see, is what

the puppets are doing right now. Okay, well, I don't know what my producers were talking about, because I think that went great. Everybody got it and everybody learned something. So suck my dick. Oh sorry, I'm irritable this morning. I forgot to put coffee in my wawah cuple half and half cut to me just sucking on cream, wondering why I have a headache. Well, folks, I'm so excited for our guest this episode. She's real get for us.

She's a student at the DuPont Chemical Junior Senior High School, and I met her when I was teaching sex, said there. She ended up teaching me so much. You know, these gen Z kids, they're so thanks smart. When I was their age, I spent half my time trying to figure out how to get on Jovie tickets. I saw him five times, even stuck backstage once. Yeah, I showed the security guy my nipple. Can you let me pass right by? He was a sweet man, But joke's on him because

it wasn't my nipple. It was a grape skittle. On a slice of pepperoni. Anyway, please welcome to the show local high school student and teen sex expert Cassie. Hi, thank you so much for having me. Oh, Cassie, thank you so much for doing parts talk. I have a form that they got to email you so your parents get permission for you to be on here. But anyway, Cassie, you're a teen sex expert. Is that right? Yeah, that's correct. I am. Everyone comes to me for um, sex, that's

sound cool. So are they are they asking me about the kind of sex do you head? Or just kind of general questions? Well, you know, some people are coming to me to have sex with me. Some people are asking me questions about like sex in general. Um, And I'm always happy to help because, um, yeah, I just know these things. God, Cassie, you know, I'm proud of

you and I don't even know you. So tell me a little baby about yourself, because because I'm thinking, gosh, you know, Cassie, you're you're in the sex said Assembly, You're you're speaking to the youths. You start, you start getting up there with me on stage, you start kind of correcting me, and then I'm thinking, God, this squirrel Cassie. She's so smart. I see the other day below looking at the long Shois there a queen. Yeah, I mean it just to me and Orange Julius slash Dairy Queen

is the perfect intersection of America. To me, Orange Julius Dairy Queen is America. So I find it to be just like the perfect place for me to interact with people, learn about people, know about things. It's just like it's really powerful actually to be serving a smoothie. And you know, for our listeners out there. Cassie, she works at the Christianimal Okay, not the Conquering Watch works, so Christianimal, the nice one. She's a career woman. M you know, those

smoothies are so good. Turns out I heard they're just ice cream. Is that true? Well, I would say about eighty percent ice cream. But what is that if not nutrients? I love that, and that's science. And as a medical doctor, I can agree with Cassie one. Um, Cassie, how'd you get so wise? You know? Some say that I was kind of born that way. I don't really remember one or two, but uh, people would say I would lie on my back and just sort of have these moments

where it felt like I was really clear. I'd go someone would be asking for keys and I couldn't even talk, and I would go and I would find the keys. You know. So I just I feel like I've always had this presence inside of me. You know. I saved my uncle who was choking one time before he even had started gasping for air. So, oh my god. So you're kind of a little freak. Not what you're saying,

You're that's I mean freak. Wow. So the orientations of that work, it's just, um, it's many historied, and like you know, I think we have to respect the surfaces performer community when we think about the word freak. And so that's kind of why I like, you know, you saw me. I kind of shivered, you know, my third eyes sort of just like went up my spine. And you know, Kessey got to be patient with me because I am a medical doctor and I am topping my

field in the state. But my inform a different generation. UM, and that I think is gen element no P And what general are you? Um? I you know, I don't subscribe to the generations. I feel intergenerational UM personally. Okay, my next question for you Cassie, what is gender? And is it okay? If I say it? You can say the word gender for sure? That is that is that's actually well within your right as a doctor. UM, and

I hope thank you would personally thank you. I've been really causing and turning around that one, so that clarification is awesome. Uh, Cassie, were you when you grow up? Um? I'd love to be taller. Um, that's my biggest goal. But if that doesn't happen, I think I'd love to go to Um, I'd love to go to Bring him Young University, Bring them Young. Yeah, that's sure. No, it's actually in Utah. I have like a real fascination of

just kind of understanding Mormonism. Don't really want to become one, don't actually even want to study that at school, but just kind of want to dive in. And then maybe you know, moved to Milan. Oh, well that sounds really amazing. Um. You know I had I had a girlfriend of mine from a high school. She was Mormon, and all of her brothers were smoking hot and they all played music together. And then when day we were at the beach and

they're all wearing long Johns under their bikinis, you know. Now, it's an interesting culture for sure. I'm not particularly interested in joining, like you said, but maybe be fun to go to college with them. Oh, now it's time for the Q and A section of this episode. This week, I asked all our team listeners to submit us questions, and I thought that, you know, Cassie, being the wise, beautiful, perfect daughter that she is, should be perfect to answer

some of these questions. So, Cassie, are you're ready to hear what the Uts of Delaware have to say? Absolutely, I'm ready to listen and I'm ready to give. Well, this first question comes from the pressingly warny. The pressingly Horny says, my boyfriend is on a very high dose of Lexa pro and can only get hard once a month. Is it possible to get pregnant from doing its soft serve? Now, Cassie,

I gotta ask doing it soft serve? I'm assuming that's when the boyfriend just kind of squishes the soft dick and balls kind of into the vagina. Am I am? I correct? And assuming that that's absolutely correct? And I actually have to say that doing it soft serve is

a really beautiful experience. It can be really intimate it can be really you know, sensitive and just kind of stuffing it inside when it's all in there and you just kind of as the woman you're just shaking, And that's actually can be a really pleasurable, fun, kind of weird sort of like what if you could put the blob inside of you sort of experience which I find can be really exciting. And yes, you can get pregnant that way. That's how my best friend got pregnant and

now she lives two tones over fascinating. Fascinating. Yeah, Patrick, you know, I always say to him, I wish you'd thick was a mechanical pencil, you know, I could just kind of press on me your racer and then being bamboom. I'm ready to write an essay, you know, but um pe, we're working on it. He takes some work. Um okay. Our next question comes from Volleyball Star. Volleyball Star says, my friend is dating a much older man and I'm starting to think he might be groom in her. What

should I do now, Cassie? Groom in that terminology? Are we talking like dog grooming? Like? Is he putting little burettes in her ears and kind of clipping the hairs next to her, but what's grooming? Listen. I wish he was clipping the hairs next to her, but because you know, ladies, we have to talk about it. They're long, all right,

But I wish that's what he was doing. But sadly, no, he's probably a much older wild man who is trying to make this young girl be presentable for him and make her think that she needs to be with him, even though he's older and disgusting. Probably, and probably it has like weird old people diseases like hemorrhoids or cancer.

And okay, next question, gritty girl. Gritty girl says, my church mute group is doing a Christmas activity pageant, and our choir director told me that I could have played the Virgin Mary because I wouldn't be able to relate to the character. Am I being slutchined by my church? I mean, ultimately, why do you even want to play the Virgin Mary? I mean, and I don't want to be a girl that's not immaculate conception by some foreign being. Uh, let it be a little doll or whatever. It's not

your responsibility. And if you're having sex, that's really cool. And I bet they're just jealous the fact that they don't get to anymore if you're a youth pastor, I mean you practically. I mean that is just that's just Ken Doll all down there, Cassie. You're so freaking woke. It's like I feel like I was asleep my whole life and then I hear you talk and it's like, yes, yes, a hundred times yes. Um, you know, I didn't even

know was Mary. I'm gonna say something crazy, okay, and yes, And people that listen to pod they know that I'm one hundred percent Catholic all the way, except I don't believe in it and I don't practice it. Was Mary actually a virgin? Okay, Like I'm just gonna say it because you know, I'm an OBITCHI man, I've seen some stuff. There's a lot of girls that come into the office, you know, out this year with the belly, and they're sitting down from their moms and dads and they're saying,

I don't know what happened. You know, I had no idea how this came to be. Maybe it's some miracles, you know, And I just kind of feel like Mary. She was a teen, she was gorgeous, She had a flop of a husband. You know, things kind of happened. Yeah, I mean I think that Mary was well within her right to enjoy her body. And if Joseph put a baby in her, I mean, frankly, if I was Joseph, I would be confused. Where did this baby come from? If not for me, it came from God. Crazy. It

definitely looks suspicious to me. But you know, I was never in that situation, and I can't judge what they might have done in Bethlehem during that time. You know, Well, maybe you can investigate that when you're going to college and bring them youngs. Yeah. No, I definitely think I could. I think the Mores have a specific view on that. I'm really hoping I can learn a lot from them and just how they have sex and how they help each other have sex u and not have sex. I

should say it will be really interesting, I think. Yeah, for somebody as a sexually empowered as you, Cassie, I can't wait for you to go to bring them young university. You know, Um, this actually reminds me of a funny story. I actually had to deliver a baby in a major once. H Yeah, it was such a mess and Uh, you know the placenta was kind of mixed up with the hay and that you know, all the sheeps started eating it. And I said, hey, you know, sheeps, that percenta is

for the mom to eat. Okay, Um, but yeah, you know that's just gonna happen when you're out in slower lower Dollaware people are having babies on farms down there. Okay. Next question, long distance de niece. Okay distance. Then he says, my girlfriend is a sophomore you see Santa Cruz, but I go to Dell Tech. What are some ways that we can get our transcontinental nut? Wow, that's an excellent question,

and I have an answer for that. Um. First of all, you're gonna need a FaceTime remote and at least three or four UM controllable dildos. That would be my biggest recommendation because you could just be sitting on it in California and then yes, operated in Delaware. Um. I also up and does that happen like with an app? Yeah? An up. It's like I think like batteries, um, satellites. Okay. See now I'm not really good at technical stuff, So Cassie, could you like kind of set that up on my

phone if I had to, because, um, two things. Number one, I don't think I'm getting texts anymore, and uh, I want to change my ring tone, and I definitely need help installing some sort of app like that on like you know, like a you know, I'm just not good with phones. Oh absolutely no, I can totally set that up for you. I've done it for tons of my friends.

I have it myself. It's super super easy. I will also say another way that you can kind of connect in that way, it's just sort of by closing your eyes and thinking of the person. I know it sounds crazy, but actually they can kind of feel that you're thinking about them when you are thinking about them, and they feel it, and then they're thinking about you, and then you can feel them thinking about you over there when you're thinking about that. And what is that? That's like?

That's like a telekinesis kind of like you know, when you were a baby and you knew, you know where your uncle was. You know, is that some sort of like E T phone home power? Um No, I think this is a power that we all possess naturally inside our bodies, that we can just act with people from a distance. We just don't let ourselves do it. You can actually get pregnant that way too. It's actually really crazy. Oh yeah, no, I've seen that before. I've seen that before.

I've seen them, you know, really really horny teenagers or um, you know, people in the military that are far away from their wives. Yeah, I've seen them. I've seen women get pregnant just kind of by thinking really hard, yeah, thinking yeah, yeah, yeah, I see. It just got outed to websters. You can look that up. Oh wait, they it just got out of to websters, like maybe a couple days ago. Just got at it. Well, just to clarify, um, you know, you can't get pregnant just by thinking really

hard about somebody. But then eventually, you know, uh, seemen needs to enter that obum for it to actually happen. I feel like I should say that because you know, people listen to the podcasts for medical advice. That's actually the entire point of the podcast and them, so so just so nobody gets confused. Final answer, You can get pregnantious by thinking about someone. Yeah, but also eventually you do need to have some sort of sex or insemination

for it to actually happen. I don't see those thoughts as different, because don't you always carry around like a small vial of semen um. I don't, but I know some people who do. Yeah, if you're in a relationship, I just like I respectfully. I do it as a sign of respect. I do it, and I carry it and I keep it cold, and I keep it in my bag with me. And then whenever I'm having those thoughts, I think, well, well maybe, and then put it in and that you know I have. I've talked about this

on the show before. I am swimming in medical dildos. I am swimming in in dilation um apparatus. You know, you got badinsmus you got you got something you need a you need to open er up. And actually I'm gonna show I'm gonna show one of the medical dildos right now. I have one actually just kind of right here. Yeah, this is it. And this is a medical instrument. Okay. We order this from the same place that we order the gowns that people wear, and h this doesn't have

a ramote on it. So I actually wouldn't suggest investing in one. But you know, if you're ever by the hospital and you need me to fill out a prescription for one of these guys. You know, I got a million of them. Wow, that's such a generous offer. Just people can go to the hospital and they can pick up a dildo for free. Well, you have to have insurance otherwise. It's like a round a thousand dollars though. But we also have a you know, I mean, I'm

swimming in lube. You know, if anybody needs lube, you know, bye bye. We got quartz, we got pints, we got gallon tanks, you know, the industrial stuff, because we have to a lot of leap over yere. Wow. I you know, and I do consider myself an expert, but I had no idea that you were keeping so much of that kind of thing at the doctor's office at hospitals. You have, like because that that was a real I mean that was like almost twelve inches and it was pretty thick,

like it almost seemed like a tree trunk practically. And that's and that's just a medical grade dildo though. That's medical grade. That is the that is the oxycotton of buildouts. Wow, Cassie, I gotta say, just talking to you, if you don't become a doctor, I'm gonna kill myself. No, the modical field No, you're like Patch Adams. You got a gift for this stuff. Oh my gosh, stop. No, I can't. I can't be a doctor. I literally cannot be. You just have to go to you just have to go

to school for like fifteen years. No, I can't be a doctor. No, I'm just I am destined to be kind of a plains woman. You know. I think I want to live on the prairie. Cassie the three words for you, Doctor Quinn medicine woman. Okay, she did it, so can you. I don't want to put too much pressure on you, but if you're not a medical doctor, your life is going to be a waste. Because you have a gift and you have understanding. At least become a chiropractor at least. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know that I could do it. Are you sure? Look you I've seen you at the Ernst Julius, I've seen it at school. I think you have a talent and I would make some calls for you. I really would. Okay, I'll think about it. I'll think about it. You said, doctor Quinn medicine woman, Doctor Quinn medicine woman. Okay, yeah. Her husband it's a great show. Oh it's about it's about a woman who's kind of in olden times and she's a doctor, and she's a medicine woman. It's a

really powerful Wait. I'm gonna have to check that out. You should definitely check it out. I think you can only get on VHS at the library, but maybe it's on YouTube's I don't know. Okay, we have one last question. Okay, okay, our last question is Anonymous. Anonymous says, my parents forgot to cancel their HBO subscription after Mayor of Eastown ended amazing show. Perfectly accurate documentary to me, So now I use it to watch you throw you up. How do

I make my sex life exactly like the show euphoria? Oh? Wow, that is a good question. Okay, I'm ann answer. Just say one word lighting. Get yourself some purple mood lights, you know, get yourself on Amazon. When those little mini discos kind of a then it feels like you're kind of in a mood, you're kind of having sex and euphorias. I mean, that is so smart. That's actually one of my first suggestions I would make is to turn as many lights off as you can and you know. I

think most actually teens have her number. I would just text Zindaia. Um. I would just text her, hit her up and be like, hey, girl, you remember me from this thing, because I feel like most of us have some level of relationship and you can just try and see if maybe you can have sex with her, or she can give you tips, or maybe she can just be in the room or be nearby and if she's busy, you know any of the other girls I think are around. Um, yeah,

that would be most teens. Most teens have Zindaia's number. Yeah, I would say eighty five percent of teens have Zidaia's number. And that's that's that's statistics. They did a poll. They did a national poll with CNN. That's amazing. I didn't know that. Um, that's cool. All I know about Zindia's that she's married to Spider Man's AKA. I'm just rereading this question. Now, cancel each Beyon or East pam this question. Okay, you know this question is not anomalous. It's from my

daughter Aaron, who thinks she's grown. Cassie, thank you so much for being on the podcast. But I gotta let you go. I gotta call my daughter. Oh, thank you so much for having me. I truly feel like I learned so much. I'll be going to get my next dildo at the hospital. Yeah, well, you got to bring your parents with you because you are under eighteen. But um, I just want to say that I'm so proud of you, and I wish as you were my daughter. Oh my gosh, I'm wishing you were my mom. Know you down. I'm

never around. I'm always at the hospital, and I fart and I fart. All right, jeez, Louisa, right, let me get Aaron on the fan O Lawn Air. What did you ask an anomalous question on my podcast? Again? No? What what question? Even is it you're talking about? Oh? My parents forgot to cancel their subscription PHBO after Maravistown. I want my sex life exactly like euphoria. I've seen the way you've been doing your eye makeup, and I know everyone's makeup that you don't even need to watch

it for you to know that's what's that style. All you need to do is like fucking go on like literally anywhere online and see Sydney Sweeney and understand that that's what I didn't do that, mom, Stop stop Air. I know that you love that show. I know you watch that show because all of your T shirts have little triangle cutouts right under the breast. Okay, and your show in hip and your show inside and look, I know we're Catholic. I know we don't believe in it,

and I know that they don't practice it. Oh yeah, you're not Catholic, Honey, You've been baptized. So that does not mean anything. Just because confirmed does not mean anything cultural anyway, whatever. I didn't ask that question. I watched the show. Fine, Fine, I watched the show, but I also didn't ask that question because first of all, I learned my lesson last time, and I know how to engage with you about this. And actually I've made really

adult decisions on my own. So okay, Aaron, because if for our listeners, just to catch these guys up. Last time that Yaron was on the show, she and I and a very heartfelt mother daughter talk. She told me that she has been having sex with her now good boyfriend Trevor. No one can do anything good enough for you, no one, no one. It's so sick. You're really sick. Woman. Well, Aaron, let's talk about some of the positive changes you've made since I found out that you and Trevor had unprotected sex.

Have you done anything that we have been talking about? You want to know if I'm using a condom with Trevor. Yeah, I do, tell me and tell everybody the listens to the podcast. Not only have we used a condom, we've used two condoms. Air, What oh god? Air? Okay. First of all, I just want to say I love us and I'm proud of use. Okay, using two condoms kind of defeats the purpose of the condom because the single condom, if it fits properly, it'll work. But if you double

it up, you know there's no talent. What'll slip and slide? Well? I know that because whatever? Because what? Air? Because what? It's whatever? Mom, No, it's not whatever. If you're trying to have euphoria style sex, I need to make sure that that sex is at least protected. At least I've already accepted that my baby is no longer pure. At least give me this. It slipped and slided right off, Okay, and it actually got trapped inside of the caverns that

is me. Air. Okay, First of all, that actually will happen to the best of us. And I know I shouldn't be saying this as a medical doctor, but if he give it to you right, medically speaking, it will get shoved up there real bad? Is that what happened? If he's kind of incredible, I mean, sometimes it just feels like the whole world slips away and it's just Trevor and I sort of floating in space. Don't tell me that stuff, Okay, you don't have to. I already knew.

But the first time he came over to dinner and the first time he looked me in the eyes when he ate those stuff shells, I knew that boy, Kulai Pipe, I knew it, okay, because there's an energy about him, and that's what I don't trust, sort of like a surfer like music producer, potentially energy like you know what I'm saying, the dreams of a delusional, you know, underage child. Here. She thinks that he's going to be a music producer just because he had what was that called like a

sound thunder, sound sound rat SoundCloud account. He has a SoundCloud account, Okay, yeah, well I looked it up in his sound just like beeps and bops to me, beeps and bops is huge. Right now you've heard a diplo. No, I haven't. He's beeping and bopping all the way to Coachella, Mom. And guess what, I'm gonna go to Coachella next year or two after I graduate and moved to Los Angeles, California, because Coachella is one town away. I saw Alexia Demi

from Euphoria post about it. Okay, I gotta met you something are the reason why You're that night? Did not so the subscription after Mayor of Easttown perfect show documentary to me, so good, so good, so accurate. It was so good I felt like really like good writing too. Yeah, and I kind of didn't really see all the twists and turns coming. There was a lot of turns. Yeah. And also when I closed my eyes, I kind of felt like I was at my high school reunion. Yeah.

I liked that one girl. And then who is the one girl who like the Yeah, that one girl. I loved that one girl who's the star of it. Yeah, I loved her. Yeah, the one girl with the pennytail. I loved her. She had cut the cop who was just like the like the cops. She was like the star of it. She was like the one that was like always like saying like get over here. Yeah she was playing many Yeah, okay, yeah she was good. That girl's a really good. She should be in more things

that girls. I don't she's obvious should be a mother, she should be on Euphoria. She could play like one of the moms. Hey for sure. Well anyway people make up on her high shadow and stuff and like I don't know even like I don't know, like just like a lipwiner. She could be a mom on Euphoria for sure. Yeah, paint her like a whore or any woman can be on Euphoria as long as you put kind of sparkles on your eyes and kind of whispered to the camera

under beeps and bops music. Yeah, I've watched the show. Hmm, that's why you kept a subscription. Yeah, it is because I need to know what kind of influences you have in your life. And yeah, um, I'm very interested in the dynamic between Sydney Sweeney and Alexi Damis characters. H It's I'm engaged. Okay, all right, well fine, I do watch the show, and yeah, I guess I can invent my influences are exclusively that what what now? Hm? I tried my best with the condoms. I thought two was

better than one. So did you get no because you thought you forgot You forgot to untape the pregnancy tests from the toilet bowl. So I look down there and low him behold negative. Yeah. I've been taping pregnancy tests to the inside of Air's toiletble basically ever since she started dating Trevor. Um and um, you know, I've been working long hours at the hospital, and so I have been getting your dad to do it. Mom. What, Well, he's just as concerned about you as I. Yeah, he's not.

He's concerned about one thing, his air fryer exactly. Yeah. I mean we had air fried spaghetti yesterday. I was like, Patrick, just order a hogie for God's sake, Like, look at the kids, they're crying. I was really crying that day. Okay, So clearly condoms are not working for you, and Trevor I AM says to wear them. Yeah. Well, guess what. I don't like my entire life doesn't mean that I just don't do it. Mom, that was really fucked up.

I don't mean it. You and your brother and your dad are the best thing that ever happened to me. I thought you said that your private practice was the best thing there happened to you. Oh yeah, that's true. Well, um, okay, so there's always don't speak to me that way. You just told me that you fucking hate me basically, though, No, I love you, so you're a pain in my ass. Okay. The fact that I don't you know up? And what was that movie that we watched the other day, Lost Daughter,

The fact that I know it was so good. That was so good, the girl and that was so good. I thought, the girl and that was really good. And the other girl too, and that were really good. Kind of like the writing was really good too. The twist and turns were so funny. Oh my god, so many twists and turns, Like I thought that was so funny. Like she stabbed right then. I was like, oh my god. Yeah, I didn't see that coming. And I thought that the girl who did like that main girl, like she was

so good. The main girl was so good and she got to Oscar nomination. What else? I don't think she's been in anything else. I will watch it. She needs to be in more things. Yeah, I agree. She's British though, so that might be hard to be on mykephoria. Oh yeah for sure. Um well, okay, so remember when you said paint in my ass? Yeah, well guess what, Lord, I had kind of a paint in my ass too the other day, Lord Jesus and I talked to everyone else about this already, um Carol Trina the ants um.

But Trevor says that if you don't want to get pregnant, it's obviously only natural and apparently the homosexuals are doing us all the time. It's just, you know, have anal sex er. I swear to God, you're going to send me in you're an early grave. First of all, did you use the luber Kin? Because you know I have

a lot in the garage from the hospital. I have my you know, you know I'm you know, I'm brand strong, gun will Okay, But I'm just saying that if you ever need the industrial stuff, I don't want to use your lube in the weird big plastic tins. No, they're in the garage if you need him, and just telling your friends, that's all I'm saying. Okay, whatever is well, as you know, he's only seventeen like me, but they

let him serve at the restaurant. So he's starting to make more money now because he has a very vibrant personality, as you know, so he has started to make you know, instead of eighty dollars an hour of busting, he now

makes upwards of one hundred and eighty five dollars. I'm a good Friday and right so a good loube of our own and this means that we don't need to be going into the garage and getting your weird loube in those tubs, so we can do our own lube when I have anal sex with him to protect myself from an early childhood pregnancy. And lots of gay men do it too all the time. And I've really come around on gay men. What do you mean come around? We've always raised us to respect everybody's things, and you

know what they do. And uh, you know, we had that gay couple that had the surgate that I told you about, and I was obsessed with them. I mean, they were funny, they were they were singing the whole time, and I was just like, shut up, like that's my thing is gigas are annoying, Like whatever you want to do is fine. I don't know. This is kind of weird for me to be the less progressive one, but

that's kind of the way where it falls. You're a regressive Aaron, and I think you're listening too many episodes. He's actually hot. I'm a Bernie supporter who hates Gaze because they're annoying. They're so annoying. Sometimes you talk an item like is this my daughter or is this some crazy Reddit slut? Crazy fuck you mom. Don't speak to me that way. First of all, don't use Reddit as a pejorative. A lot of really good conversations happen on there,

like for crypto. I don't even know what these sexual words are any words an ft Is that like an insult to me that some sort of like you call me a bit or something? No fucking truth. Well, you and Trevor have been having anal sex and medically speaking, you cannot get pregnant that way. But I would like to warn the listeners, Um, you've heard of trickle down economics.

M Oh my god, I literally know, I literally know this, and it's humiliated trickled down effect, and so I just need to make sure I'm just saying, like, you know, you gotta be a word the stuff. I'm not gonna have a fucking butt baby. I I I've had a couple of butt babies. What are you talk to me about? Not me? There is such thing as a bot baby, because you know I pour with your brother. You know that I tour with your brother and shaw him off because he was a butt baby. He took it in

the butt from dad's alcoholic gas. I'm not talking about taking it, okay. Medically speaking, a butt baby is when there is vaginal tearing. Technically the baby expels from the butt from the asshole because it's actually all one hole. And I have, you know, really seeing a lot of butt babies grow up to be doctors, grew up to be engineers, grew up to be teachers. You know, being

a butt baby is not a bad goal. Again, like basically, even butt babies would make you more proud than me as long as they went to college like ud and went on to become like a teacher. You can't stand it that I'm a regular vaginal baby who wants to be a dancer. In the background, you can study dancing university at the Delaware I've told you this one hundred dollars, No you can't. It's not a good program. And also college is a waste of time. While I'm young and

have these titties, I want to get to La. Yeah. For those just listening on the podcast, my daughter Aaron is stacked to hell. It's her tits are absolutely in her collar phone. And yeah she gets that from her mother. Let me tell you, Air, you want to keep those babies up there, don't breastfeed all right, I'm not planning on it because I'm not having a child. That's right. Because you're having anal sex. I'm using two condoms during

anal sex, so I'm protected. I think that we just got to get you an IUD and have him pull out. I mean, at this point, that's the only thing that is gonna because I can't trust your dad. While I'm working these long hours to tape the pregnancy test of the toilet bowl, I can't trust him to crush up your birth control and put it inside your brisk iced tea. I can't. I can't trust them to do all that.

Lucky turn over to Arizona Green. Thank god, you have to tell me stuff like that because I know I don't, because I know that you have your hands in my entire life. And now I know that you've got dad doing it too. Okay, from now on, every single dinner we eat as a family, there's going to be crushed up birth control pills inside of the dinner. And I'm not telling people what. You just gotta finish your plate. Well, I'd rather have that than the stuff shells you made

last week. You love stuff shells. Don't tell me you're going vegan. No, I don't anymore. When can I get my iod? I come? I will come over tomorrow after after you're gonna do it? Yeah, who else is gonna do it? This is like having an accountant in the family. Like I, I gotta I gotta do everybody's books. I gotta put in everybody's io d. I just did it for your cousin Kelly the other day. She has a piercing that I don't think your aunt Pat knows about.

She doesn't know about it. They have a really close relationship, but they tell each other everything. Well, I hope when I go down there, I don't see any jewelry that I didn't buy. If you know what I mean, don't worry about it. I'll come over after practice at five. Come over after practice and then maybe, you know, we can go to the Orange Julius after because I know a real nice girl who works there. Okay, all right, well tell you that I'll be home in a couple hours.

What do you want for dinner to night? Chicken call it? Okay, we'll do chicken cott two hours, she said, two hours. Okay, bye, love you buy drunk. Bye love you. Well, thank you so much for listening to Parts Talk. Thank you to my guest teen sexpert and teach your doctor, Cassie. And uh yeah, I guess. Thank you to my daughter Erin. You know, we have a contentious relationship, but I also feel through communication band closer. This has been Parts Talk.