Are You There Dad? It’s Me, Yoko Homo Presents: Greek Mythology, DUH! (Episode 4)

is an educational podcast. And in this segment again we talk about how, you know, I would have handled things a little bit differently because you know, I think advice is important. So the Library of Alexandria, it was like a big, big library, bigger than the Ostiola County Library that my dad and I used to go to when I was little. Even it's huge, and mister Orange Julius got all mad and he burned into the ground and we lost like a lot of history and knowledge as

a collective society from this. So that's like sad w boo. So now here's what I was done. It's like, have you ever heard of eye clown? Just uploaded? You know

what I mean? Just like keep uploading and then if something burns, then it's not lost, and you can keep reading it and cherishing those memories, like when you finally learned how to read and you read one Fish, two Fish, Redfish, Bluefish to your dad, but then you turn around and then then you see him talking to the librarian, Miss Peterson, and then you have to stay at the library for two hours after it closes because your dad is still

flirting with Miss Peterson. And then you try to help restock all the books and your dad tries to help two but then he gets them all wrong because he doesn't know the Dewey decimal system, so then she has to help him, and then they disappear into the stacks for like thirty five minutes, and then you don't know where they are, so you get lost in the library.

And then you meet this old man who's lived there for sixteen years and he only comes out at night to steal snacks, and then the staff break room is where he goes and he lives. And then Miss Peterson and your dads show up. They don't believe you, and they gaslight you into thinking that this guy doesn't exist Steven though he's there, and then you get in trouble even though they were doing it in the back. It's like that. So that's like the library that got burned.

So anyway, always upload. Uh So, now we're at our next segment and you guessed it. We're back with another you should have known, and you're in for a treat. This week, we're going to be joined by the head of Greek Art and Mythology at the met and professor at Columbia University, Professor Aisha Martinez. Welcome, professor. Oh, good afternoon. Thank you so much for having me. Wow, thank you so much for joining us. It's a pleasure to meet you.

And where I'm really excited because I love Greek stuff, I love Greek life, I love Greek salads, and I just think it's going to be a great time getting to teach you a thing or two about what I know too. Oh oh, that's fine. I normally don't get I don't normally get taught these things. I'm I'm quite the professional, and I enjoy teaching as much as I can to those who are enthusiasts of the Greek knowledge. Okay, fine, fun, fun, Okay, So um, before we get started, I just have to

know Hercules. He's he's real, right, If you want them to be. Okay, so I have a question, what is he using steroids? Because I have a buddy who looks just like Hercules does pre lip fillers, and I'm trying to figure ou if he's using them or not. And I'm like, okay, are you using them? And he won't tell me the truth. Oh well, well, you know that Greek mythology is not real. It's it's what. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to confuse you again. I'm sorry.

You know I thought you would know this as someone who loves Greek. No, this is Olivia. Where do we keep finding these people that don't know what they're Excuse me, excuse me nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. You're acting like a child to just found out that Santa Claus isn't real. It's you didn't know Santa Claus isn't real. Yeah, I definitely knew that. It's kind of hard for me to believe that. I definitely knew that Tim Allen was just

pretending you believe that Tim Allen was Santa Claus. No what whatever? Anyway, agreed, okay, agreed, okayek mythology Okay, okay, Yoko, Yoko, get back to get back into okay, Greek mythology. Greek mythology, okay, Um, can you can you tell us um about like, I don't know who's your favorite god? Mmmm? Oh now that's going to be a fun one. Now. I don't like to play favorites when it comes to, uh, the gods in mythology. That's not like my dad because I'm not

his favorite. Go on, Oh, do we want to explore that a little bit? No, it's okay, it's okay. You don't, you don't, you don't you don't like exploring No, or you don't like, or you don't like, you don't like, Um, you like choosing favorites, you don't like choosing favorites or I mean you have several sorts of gods as like Zeus, Apollo aside him. Um, there's all sorts of gods, but it depends on I don't know what I'm feeling at certain times of the season. Yeah yeah, oh well you know, um,

my dad kind of reminds me of Zeus. Oh okay, and we'll wait tell me about that. That sounds wonderful. Yeah, he ruinds me to Zeus because you know, Zeus seems like he was a kind of a horn dog. You know, he was running around trying to sleep with trees and all kinds of woodland spirits and horses and things like that, and that kind of reminds me of my dad from two thousand and five to two twelve. Two thousand and five to two thousand and twelve, that's a long time

for your dad to be doing that. Do you want to unpack that? Because you keep bringing it up. I'm sure it'll come out later organically. That's okay, So professor, please tell me what who's your whore? Who are you currently feeling right now? In Greek mythology for the season, Oh, for the season, I would probably have to say Athena. Athena. Yeah, she's the goddess of reason, wisdom, and war, the goddess of war, kind of like my step mom, Sharon. That's oh,

I don't know what she is? She reasonable? Is she? Do you find her way? She's nothing like Athena? But can you tell us a little bit more about is ah is Athens, Georgia named after Athena? I you know what, I honest, I couldn't tell you that. I study the Greek mythology and only that I'm sure that there might be some connection there, the same way you're connecting your family to everything that's happening here. I thought I was going to be interviewed more on, you know, Greek mythology.

You are you still are? You still are? Still still? Because I have a lot of knowledge, I'd really like to share that with those who who want to explore more, you know, Yeah, okay, okay, So then place. So I know I know Greek myth I know this because I am an expert. I know Greek mythology has a lot of stories, a lot of fables. There are can you can you tell us one that you think modern day children could benefit from still hearing and learning? Oh my gosh,

oh of course. Um. One I would probably talk about is Icarus. Are you familiar with Icarus? I loved Eternals. I loved Eternals. I thought Richard Madden, Richard Madden, he is so hot. Yeah, not super familiar with that. But okay, I don't know who this Icarus is. Then well, he was a son of another Greek god and his father created wings for him, and he didn't listen to his father when he told him to not fly too close to the sun and what happened twins twins, I don't know.

I don't listen to my I don't listen to my dad either. Well, Acres died from not listening to his father. Do you want to die like Acarus? Wait? How did he die? He flew too close to the sun, the wings melted and he fell into the sea. No, that's so sad. Yes, you think kids could learn from that.

I think it's it's it's time that children take a moment to listen to the lessons and the values that their parents are trying to teach them instead of jumping onto wax wings and just flying close to the sun doing whatever they want, and they fall to their own deaths and their own horrible things that happened to them. I think it's important that we listen to our elders. Oh, listen to our elders. Oh, what's wrong? Okay, I'm sorry. It's just it's just you sound. It's just like you

sound like my stepmom, Sharon, Like do you know her? I? Actually I don't. I don't shared you don't know Sharon. She's like this Greek myth you're talking about, because she's like, here's here's this thing but don't do anything fun with it. Don't have fun or else you're gonna die. And you're gonna die because I'm going to abandon you in the forest. I'm gonna give you this fun little kid to go camping, but if you if you use it, you're gonna go

die because I'm not gonna go pick you up. And the only thing that's in there are marshmallows and graham crackers. No chocolate first moore, so you can only have nasty, nasty marshmallows with Graham crackers. And I'm gonna I'm gonna leave you in the forest, and you're gonna die if you don't listen to me, if you don't shut up and stop interrupting our PTA meetings. Okay, uh wow, this got really uncomfortable, and I don't want to. I don't

need to call that out. I just I will. I want you explore your feelings and I want you to feel validated. But this is I don't know if I'm the type of professional that you're looking forward to speak on these things. And I'm so sorry he did you three days ago when she dropped me off here and then she forgot to pick me up, so you haven't been picked up in three days. No, I've just been here in the studio. Oh um, can somebody help? No, no, Olivia, it's okay. No, no, it's okay. It's okay. No, no no,

no's okay. It's some sort of No, it's abandonment negligent law that's happening here. I'm well into my twenties. It's okay. I should I should figure it out, even your twenties. Yeah, okay. So one of my favorite Greek creatures is a hippocampus, you know, like a part horse part fish. Yeah, I know, like the front of a horse and the back of fish, like a little like a sea horse kind of thing. Yeah. What did what to make that? What went and where? Oh? And had some fun like in the back of the

library with Miss Peterson and my dad. What went where to make that? So you're asking me, basically, who are the two types of species that created the hip campus? Like are they real? Because if they're real, what did what? Because I would like to know. This is Greek mythology, This is a miss means made up their stories, their legends, their tales, legends, yales. So you're telling me right now that my favorite animal is not real. So you're telling me that I'm never going to be able to go

to the Tampa Bay Aquarium and find them. You will never find an actual I mean, you can find a seahorse that's not the same. Okay, well you can also, you know, you can draw them. There are several pictures online if you just type in the letters G O, G L and then a little period and then it's the O M. You're able to find so many pictures of a hippo campus. I would highly suggest that and that might satisfy more of your desire for your favorite animal. Okay,

I'll do that after this. Thank you very much, professor. Okay, you don't sound I know you're not enjoying this. I'm enjoying. I'm having fun. I'm not. I'm not. I'm I'm fun. I'm saying I'm not mad. I was saying I'm not. I was I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm You seem

like we have a lot of your mind. Do you want to talk about No, it's you know why, It's like, it's just it's just you know, I've just been here for three days and I thought that after talking to you, I would have some you know, my dreams come true. And now I'm finding out that Santa Claus isn't real, and which I knew. You're twenty years old, you should probably know that Santa Claus is not real. You said you're in your twenties, And I mean, do we need

to have a hard talk about these things? Because I can definitely put my my mom at on. No, I don't have kids, but I intend to one day. I will hope that these ovaries of my body will get fertilized as I'm continuing to wait to find the right person. But this isn't about my problems, isn't now? It's about you, right.

I thought I was going to be an interview but now I'm sitting here realizing that I don't even know if I want kids after talking to you and just kids being mistreated and abandoned in studios for weeks on end, and and no one cares about Greek mythology either way. I do Oh no, no, no, no, no, professor, don't get don't don't get it. I'm fine, No, you know what, I'm okay, you know what, I'm gonna be the best interviewer ever. Okay, Alevi already talk to me about this

multiple times, so I'm gonna do it. Okay, So I'm interested. Now, I'm I'm here. I'm listening about Greek mythology. So you know I'm going to read off of my cars now if that's okay, Yes, thank you, because I feel for you. I just don't help. I want to help. You're gonna be such a good You're gonna be such a good mom one day. You're gonna be like such such all

the time. It's fine. Excuse me, I need to drink along. No, you're gonna be such a good mom, and you're gonna take care of your kids, and you're gonna take them to fun places, and you're gonna you're gonna let them believe in Santa clause onlike me. I'm sorry. This took a turn. This really took a turn. No, it's okay. I think these kinds of cathartic moments are important. I think they're important for us. I think they're important for us. Thank you. Okay. So um as I understand there are

the big three gods. There's Hades, Zeus, and Poseidon. Yes, okay, can you tell me if you had to f mary kill those three who would you do for what? Oh my gosh, um, well, I would mary Poseidon there's more room in the ocean. Yeah, I've seen enough of the earth to realize the amount of trash that sits on this beautiful canvas. But it's been contaminated with human like trash. And then I would say I would probably have a

fling with mister Zeus. I mean, it's Zeus, but I'd be afraid he might break me in half and I'd die, And then of course i'd kill Hades. I'm not interested in. Yeah, I don't want to be down there. It's a little too hot for me. Everything might melt. And I highly doubt that he uses lube. So you're afraid that he would just be raw dogging without lube. I believe that he would be not as kind and intimate the way I would want a Greek god to be self. Lube

is nice. Please don't write that down, thank you. No, I'm sorry, I got a little bit too candid. Oh my gosh, can we take this that? Can we excuse me? Can we go ahead and not just keep going keep going? Because you know what, Professor, no one's ever given me the talk, and that's kind of the closest I've ever gotten to the talk, and that was awesome. My dad and my stepmom Sharon refused to give me the talk, so that was actually kind of the closest thing I've

ever gotten. They give you the talk. I don't really even know what the talk is, but everyone keeps talking about having it. But that seems kind of like it. And now I know lube is nice, So thank you for teaching me that, Professor. I highly recommend lots of club Thank you. Okay. Lube is oil to be exact to eat and to give us gifts in baskets. Cool, perfect,

thank you, professor. Okay, here's my answer for that question. Okay, I think I would marry Hades, oh because he is underground, so he has lots of wealth, like lots of jewels, oh, you know, like diamonds are down there, and rubies and sapphires and emeralds. So I would marry him for that, and I feel like I like it rough, so I would like it. Um, I would f poseidon, okay, because then maybe afterwards he'll give me a hippocampus as a gift maybe if okay, okay, yeah, I don't know if.

And then I would kill zeus because he reminds me of my dad. No, oh, I'm sorry. I jumped the gun. There, I assume I'm sorry. Well, now I don't want to kill my dad. I just I just think that there's room for our relationship to grow. But he's just too busy taking care of his other families and Sharon, he said, families with an s. How many families father have? I had five step moms growing up, and he had kids with shout them. Okay, Um, you really are doing with

some stuff here. No, it's okay. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm I'm having the time of my life. Really, that's so hard for me to believe it. Okay, yeah, should we call someone? No, don't go someone, don't go someone else, Sharon, don't get bad? Oh yeah, quite the monster. I'm gonna be Okay, I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back to my card. Okay, I'm sorry. Um okay. So it says that Harrah is the mother? Wait can I say that word around, drumster. I don't want to make you

upset again. You can say mother because you're gonna be a great mom. Well if you when you stop and ask me if I'm going to be okay. I wasn't thinking about it before. I mean, I wasn't even thinking about any of that before this conversation. I thought I was going to be here just discussing my top favorite Greek mythologies. I can't even say words right. I went to Columbia. I should know how to speak about it. Can you tell me about your time at Columbia? How was that? It was fun? I was one of the

few persons of color there and stuck together. And I was actually the only Afro Latina who enjoys Greek mythology. Wow. Family has turned their backs to me because they don't believe it's a real job either. So but hey, hey, I'm fine. You know what. I live in my penthouse on fifty first and Lennox, and I am happy. Okay, here, sure, professor, because we can talk about that. It sounds like Colombia. It sounds like Columbia. Did you at least have fun at Columbia? Oh? Yeah, yeah, but I one thing I

did not do was join any Greek organizations. Me neither because none of them would take me. Oh yeah, might as was by choice. I can't choose one Creek. Oh so you could have gotten into one if you wanted to, of course, I mean, I mean that's cool, that's cool. How many Greek organizations did you try to apply it? To be about it? Five a year? Five a year? Oh my gosh, for six years? So thirty okay? All right,

well they all can't be winners. Okay, So as I understand, it's the Romans when they call an eyes and took over that area. They took a lot of the gods and just renamed them, right, like Aries became Mars, and Aphrodite became Venus and whatnot. What would your Roman name be? Oh my, that's a great question. Well I would say I'd go from being Aisha to Mother Nature. Aisha to Mother Nature. Yes, Mother Nature is a great mom too. I'd be her happily. I'd take on all the all

the life. Oh wait, I just had a crazy idea. Okay, professor, what if you and my dad got married and then I became your kid. I know, I'm only a few years younger than you've I'll act really young. You told me your father had five other stepmothers. I'm not. I can get I can have them moved to Arizona. They can go away like I'll drive them myself. I'll drive them myself. I've heard that before. There's been so many people who have tried to set me up with their

fathers so that I could be their stepmother. This isn't the first time. Okay, this is not the first time. Okay, And I will learn from the last three that happened. I will not do it again. Okay. I've decided to go on to Tinder to find myself a mate who will fertilize the last few eggs that I have. So you don't want to marry my dad, I don't even know your dad. Well, can I pitch him to you? You can shoot your shot? Sure, Okay, Okay. He's five four. He looks kind of like if an Asian Danny de

Vito got mixed with the actor that played Gallam. He has bad breath in the morning. His favorite place to go for major self librations is the Eyehop by the airport, and he's the runner up for the Nathan's Hot Dog Regionals, the eating competition for or five years in a row. He has two Toyota cam rees with dents in the back, but they both drive really really good. And he's a co owner with his friend Pat at a local Domino's franchise. So he smells like cheesy bread all the time, and

he can get you fifty percent off. Well, it sounds like someone out there would be a good match for him. So you don't like you don't like him, I'm gonna make that a hard pass. Are you sure he's really nice? Again? He smells like cheesy bread all the time. He smells like cheesy bread and he's my hero. Oh that's good. Maybe he should spend more time with your dad. It's not like I haven't tried. Maybe it should be more aggressive. I just think that you would do really well with him,

and maybe you can move into our house. Hey, maybe you can move into our house. You live in a two bed, zero bath, it's in the city. Why am I even considering this? Then? No, no, no, you can't just go pitching the idea of your dad and no man should ever smell like cheesy breadsticks. That's not attractive. No, you have to deal with the cards that you've been dealt, and you have to figure out a way to reshuffle

your own deck if you want to. But you're not just gonna just throw away the hand that you have. You have to figure out how you're going to use it. But Sharon's mean, and you seem, really, what does she do that's me? Why does she not do that to me? Give her a chance? Mean, I'd give her a chances two thousand and eight. Okay. She's been in my life since two thousand and eight, and every chance she gets, she's so mean. Okay, I want to hear your version

of me. She's so mean, like like sometimes we'll be eating dinner and then I'll I'll accidentally miss my mouth and I'll drop the fork and then she'll point at me and laugh and go, nice move, Homo, And I realized that that's my last name. But still it hurts. Oh, okay, how I was going to ask how old your stepmother is, but it sounds like she, uh, I mean, you could move out. I guess you're in your twenties. You can definitely get a job. Well, I started this podcast to

prove a point to her. Do you think I'm Do you think I'm doing a good job at this? Yeah? I mean, if you could stick to the topics, What do you mean, if you could stick to the top we're sticking to the isn't the topic this yourself? I mean, I'm not sticking to the top, right I'm just gonna give you some hard truth right now, because in Greek

mythology there's a lot of lessons and hard truths. And the hard truth of that I'm going to tell you right now is that your stepmother, Sharon, she doesn't listen to this podcast. You don't know that. I'm gonna send it to her. I'm gonna send it to her. She's just to listen. If she lets you in a studio for three days, she doesn't care about you, let alone, and she's going to listen to a podcast. No, she's She told me that she was going to six Flags in New Jersey and she was gonna come back at

the end of the day to pick me up. But I think she just might. I don't know if she's got lost on the way there. She's gonna come back and she's gonna listen to the podcast, and I'll prove her wrong. She prove her wronging back and then and then she's she's not coming back. You don't know that, You don't know that, you don't know that, You're gonna got mad I'm so sorry, but she's not going back. You know what I'm gonna I'm gonna keep interviewing because

that's when I signed up to do. Okay, Okay, here's the last question I have for you. Okay, your face, wipe your face. No, No, I'm I'm I'm fine. Um. Okay. So Aphrodite and Hephaestus are married and she's really hot and he's not okay, and I just want to know when am I gonna find someone that's hot? When you get over your issues with your stepmother and what issues do you issues? Well issues, I'm very well adjusted. I'm very I'm fine. I'm well adjusted and fine. I'm Do

you need to breathe? Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. Oh, you're putting too much energy into your stepmother and your father and you're twenty something years old. Let it go. You'll find the right person when you're ready to find them. At the exact moment that you stop caring is the exact moment where the right person will just show up and give you all their love and give you all their affection. That's the best time to do is when you're not focused on it. If you try too hard,

you're just gonna break it apart. Wow, you're gonna break it apart like solid engagement, the perfect engagement, you know, perfect man, perfect scenario, and then you make that more tell me more about him. I don't want to talk about Tristan right now. Tristan. I'm not talking about Tristan. We're talking about you now, okay, But I tell you what, when you do find that person, you hold onto them like super clue professor can ask a question. That's all

you've been doing, Is Tristan. That man that's on the iPhone background right now, is that him? It is a photoshop image of his face on the sidon's body. Yes, I was wondering. M Okay, well, Tristan, if you're listening, you could be my dad. It could be my dad, because maybe you're my mom. And okay, anyway, we'll move on now to our next segment. We're at the end of our podcast and we couldn't finish an episode without

my favorite segment. I should have known. We're going to round out this episode by asking our guest questions about me that will show who the real genius is here. And let's start that now. Question one, what's my favorite kitchen appliance? Oh? Okay, I we didn't talk about it, but I would assume I don't know a ladle to catch all the tears that keep coming out of this face. Wrong, the answer is checks mix. Question two, what do I like more Frozen one or Frozen two? Do you seem

like a Frozen two type of person? The answer is neither, Not until I get a written apology from Jonathan Groff, he knows what he did. Oh. Question number three, what's my favorite holiday? Oh? That's easy. It's it's Christmas. Oh that is a good answer. I'm sorry I did, But the correct answer is any day that my stupid stepbrother doesn't roast me on my Instagram comments. Oh it's so mean. Oh mean anyway? Number four, what's my favorite pizza topping? Oh? Um,

I would say Pepperoni. Wrong, it's America and Dream by Ben and Jerry's. And number five, who is my favorite member of the Beatles? Oh? Everyone's favorite? Which would be Um John Lennon Rang? The answer is me. Thank you so much for joining us. And now that we've reached the end of our episode, I'd like to make a quick announcement Now. When I told Sharon and my dad that I would be starting this podcast, they laughed at my face while eating Funnians and they said I wouldn't

even be able to make it four episodes. Well, look at who made four episodes of a podcast share me, and look at who's a winner. Now, Dad, and I finally have the guts to tell you that it was me who stepped on your treasured black eyed peas allaphant vinyl back and own night. I don't care if you're proud of me or whether or not you're proud of me. I'm proud of myself and that's all I need. But also if you can return my text and like, please pick me up? And also why don't you follow me

back on Instagram? Are you mad at me? I don't anyway, thanks for listening to this week's episode of Are You There? Dad? It's Miyoko. Until next time bye. They have post campaigned compaign