Are You There Dad? It’s Me, Yoko Homo Presents: Astronomy, DUH! (Episode 2)

be mad, but um, Stacy was really nice. She actually gave me snacks after school sometimes, which is cool because my dad would only ever have beef jerky around, even though I told him that I can't eat cow or be for anything, that after my incident at the petting zoo from two thousand three. But um, anyway, so we're gonna talk about dinosaurs, which, if you didn't know, they're like these big lizards and they went extinct six million years ago. Now here's the thing. We all know. We

all know that dinosaurs are just heterosexual iguanas. But these straight reptiles need to know that if they saw a big rock hurdling towards them, they should just turn away. It's like, can you be that stupid? You know what I mean? Like, just how dumb can you be to run towards the rock and then just get squished? Because I would go into my Honda c RV and drive off. It's just like it feels like it's common sense to me.

And so if you're listening and you see a big rock hurdling towards you, I just just run away, you know, don't be stupid. So that's how Yoko Withold have handled that. Now we're onto our next segment, which is an other you should have known. This week, we're gonna be talking to I'm really excited because this is someone that I ran into when I was at the local community center and he seems like he knows a lot and he just seems really smart. Maybe he is, I don't know,

but um not smart as me. So like, don't worry. But we're going to be talking with doctor spoon and Newton, who runs the astronomy club at the local corporate Community Center. Welcome, doctor, Thank you so much. It's so nice to meet you over this podcast. Thank you so much for coming on and talking to us today about astronomy. So that you're an expert in astronomy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, I studied

astronomy over at Wayne State University in Detroit. Wow. And I studied that for like about I think that it was a nice four year degree, but I extended it because I needed more time to seven. Wow. Yeah, I mean that's how people get uh where those words called degrees. Um, that's awesome. So I'm actually so excited that you're here, Like, I really am so excited about you specifically because I feel like I actually know a lot in this topic.

Like my last episode, like I didn't know that much, but I knew a lot and I knew more than him. So I was like, but like, I'm known for that, But in this one, I like, I really really know a lot because I have a sense about your topic. So my first thing is my chart has a lot of Sagittarius in it. Okay, so does that mean that I'm destined for love this year? Um? I believe that we have had a little bit of a misunderstanding here was I am an astronomer and I believe that sagittary

has something to do with the astrology. I think that we had a bit of a misunderstanding here. Oh you're a strong number astronomer. Yes, yes, yes, I'm somebody that you're not. No no, no, no no. And then look here, I am the one that focuses more on the stars. We see. Okay, here goes, here's an underst any of you. Okay,

astronomy focus on more than just the stars. Okay, we don't talk like a strategy is focusing on the stars and how that affects the human body and the natural world and stuff like that, while astronomy, on the other hand, that focuses with celestial objects, space and the physical universe as a whole. And I was, in fact, very excited to come on this show today. This is so, this is what the hell? This is so? This is us. You're not in there? Who invited? What? Oh? Sorry? Sorry

I was talking can you hear me? Sorry? I was talking to my producer. I didn't know that you. Sorry. Sorry doctor. Sorry doctor. Um. That's awesome. That's so cool that you are an astronomer. You don't have to lie. You don't have to lie. Heard it, It's all right. I just came on here very excited to talk about on Valentine's Day, scientist and they discovered a black hole. Now that's exciting a lot of us over at the community center where where you voicing because we never thought

that we would see one in our time? A black hole? Well? Can you tell us about black holes? I guess then? All right, well let me tell you a boy a black hole real quick. You don't seem so enthusiastic about it. No, No, I'm just kind of upset. I just I wanted to have my chart red. But no, no, I'll listen. I'll listen to your your your holes or whatever, keep talking. It's just when I'm very passionate about something, I love it when the other person is just as passionate about it.

So maybe maybe if I give you a little information on what a black hole is, maybe that could get you excited about like black holes in the general. All right, okay, so let me explain to you. Okay, after a large star dies, a black hole is left there not Do you understand? It's just like life is gone and there's a void where that once was. Are you not excited? I am tingling on the inside, and how excited I am about black holes? Okay? Are there other holes of color?

Excuse me? Are there other holes of color? Is that the only kind black holes are. Yeah, I think the black holes are. I think it's pretty straightforward that you haven't heard of any any other colored holes. No blue holes. No, no, no white, no, no white, no pink holes. No. Okay, no, keep going, keep I'm listening, a doctor, doctor, I'm I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm sorry. No, no no, no, no, it's it's it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's also just probably

like a boring topic for you. You probably aren't interested in that. No, no, no, no, no, no no, you know what, you know what, I actually have some questions now that I've been thinking about, I have some questions for you. Actually, all right, shoot, so it's it's my understanding that the sun is a fiery ball of gas. Am I am? I correct in believing that. Yes, it's a fiery ball of gas, is what I believe you. Okay. So so if you're listening to this, you can't see it. But

he's actually shocked that I taught him that. I just taught him that. Um so you know, just everyone, now experts can learn a thing or two from me, as all. Now now really me, this now real on me? This. My ex once called me a fury ball of gas before he broke up with me. All the Casher cruise. Now, what do you think Jake meant by that? I absolutely have no idea. Maybe you're very flatulent, Maybe your gas burned off any extra hair that was on his body.

I don't know. I've been in that situation where gas has been strong enough to remove hair from an individual's body. So maybe that is something that your ex Jake was trying to emphasize with you being a fiery gas ball like the sun. Okay, now question follow up custom to that? So Jake blocked me on Instagram, but I made another Instagram account and then I started looking at stories, but he blocked out too. So what do you think I should do? How do I store? Can you fall them

for me right now? Actually? And can you tell me what he posted today? I simply don't have time for that. As an astronomer, I'm out here constantly taking in news and information about space in the world, and this just has nothing to do with me. This isn't my own and it seems to me that maybe you're not ready to pursue relationships or something like that. But that's not my place as an astronomer. It's not my place to

say that I'm also very single. Uh, most people that I've tried to go out with end up ghost in me or for some reason just disappearing off the planet Earth. I never see them again. Disappearing off Earth because you're because you're astronomer. Sorry continue, No, I got what you were saying. I didn't think it was very funny, as I was being vulnerable sharing a part of myself. Sorry doctor continue. As an astronomer, it's a very lonely um,

it's a very lonely journey. Not too many people, Okay, speaking of lonely as I have a question alright, shoot away, why is NASA so homophobic? Because I feel like it keeps playing with Pluto's feelings, because it keeps saying like hate clot you're a twink, and then sometimes it's not a twink. These you what I'm saying. It just it keeps playing with Plutos Felix, There is a back and forth. Why is this homophobic? I just don't know that that's

what you mean. You know, as as Pluto is a planet and therefore doesn't have an orientation of that kind, so I don't know that NASA can be viewed as homophobic in that regard, Are you sure. I don't know their status as far as like hiring people of a different orientation or anything like that, and I don't want to speak to that. I don't want to say anything negative about NASA, for I am still trying to get

work there. But I would like to say I do understand the confusion with Pluto becoming a planet and then again losing its, uh it's planetary status. Now, as I was saying, I wanted to really get back on this topic because I came on here. A lot of the kids are very excited. Um, the kids that come into the astronomy club. We have an astronomy club for young adults children. It just doesn't seem like you're interested in what I have to say. No, I'm less, professor, I'm listening.

Please continue. It's doctor. Professor makes me feel old. Okay, doctor, please continue. A matter of fact, could you just call me doc Spoo, Doc spoon Newton Okay, dark spoo. Please. This has absolutely nothing to do with astronomy in any way. But I always wanted the title of doc after I saw it Back to the future, but not when is that from? Is that a movie or a TV show. I've never seen movies before. Two thou one, So I don't know, young man. How old are you? None of you?

Oh fair enough? I'm sorry, just not doc spoo. So I'm just gonna mind my business. No no, no, no, no, no are you when you said you're a single? So are you? Never mind? Okay? You snap? So I'm doc um. Please continue? What were you saying that the kids are interested in the youths? The kids are just very interested in space as a whole. They love talking about the planets. They love this new black hole that was discovered on Valentine's Day, and I just think it's fantastic. We we

look at pictures from satellites. We just had an experiment where the kids got to create their own rovers and pretend that they were like serving We got the little lego sets so that the kids could pretend that they're servying the planet. Okay, well, what how far? How far away is this black hole? Is it like close to Earth? Should we be Should I be scared? Should I be scared? Like it's Jake and it's just gonna no, no, no, no, the gobble all of us up. When we're at least

expecting it. No no, no, no, no, no need for fear, no need to cause a lie. Okay, I'll tell you this. The black hole is millions of miles away, so far away from us that we need not worry. It happens, stars die and black holes form. I mean, years from now, the sun is gonna be our son is gonna go out. You have a son, what's his name? Has previously stated I am a very single man. I don't have any children. You could be single and have a son like my dad.

Between two thousand and six and two thous and then Obama got elected it and then everything was okay, and that's when Sharon came. Charon didn't let me come back into the house between two thousand eleven. I just don't feel like this is something that we should be talking about. You're right, you're okay. So your son, our son, your son. I don't have a son. I'm single. You have a son single? Sun that owen sun like the sun, the fiery ball of gas. We just talked about it not

too long ago. Then the planets. Your son's gay. Jesus Christ, that's awesome. That's awesome that you have a gay son. Why did you bring me on here today. I'm curious about astronomy. I don't feel like you're curious about astronomy or your questions have been about astrology, and you think that I'm some kind of what is the thing called

a tarret, a tarret card reader, and that's not my calling. Well, when I got into astronomy, it was because I was interested in the planets, the stars of the Solar System as a whole, universe's galaxies. Okay, I don't I don't care about that, not that I think that it's invalid. People use it, different cultures, use it as a as a form of like you know, connecting with their lovers and stuff like that, finding stuff out like that. But that's just not my calling. And I just feel very frustrated.

I was very excited to come on here, and you just seem so disinterested. After leading me all of our email conversations prior to this, you seem so excited about the topic of astronomy, and I just don't understand all of a sudden, now that I'm here, we don't want to talk about black holes. Okay, Well, I'm gonna be honest. First of all, that was my that was my producer Olivia writing all those so I apologize. You're right. This

is exactly what Jake told me. Jake said that I don't show any interests in his interests and that's why he broke up with me. And you know what, You're right, You're right. I need to do a better job at being interested. So you know, Professor, I'm here. I'm here, and I'm ready to listen and learn about black holes. I'm ready. Thank you so much. Got me so flusted. I'm so sorry that I didn't mean to blow up

the way that I did about that. It's just such a topic like how your son's gonna blow up one day and then and stars, see I know a thing or two to stars like Mariah Carey. When they die, they become supernovas. Nicki Minaj, Lady Kaka. I thought you said you were going to be here. Sorry, I realized that what I said it was very stupid. Then you're reminding me of my stepmother Sharon. Now, so I'll shut up, I'll shut up, shut up. Please, please don't don't don't. Please.

I just don't want to seem like I'm coming at you from a place of madness of frustration. I'm just saying that you brought me onto the show to discuss something that I'm passionate about. You're right, You're right, right, you're right, you're right, you're right. I don't want to come I don't want to come at you with any kind of attitude or any kind of like frustration in that way. And I apologize if I've said anything that might have made you feel bad or offended. It's just

I just get really passionate about it. Yea, yea, And sometimes that manifests in a frustrating way. So if you could just forgive Doc Spoop, if you could forgive Doc Spoon dark spirits, okay, it's okay. If you could just forgive me, it's okay. I forgive you. That's the first time I said that and I and I received it. I received that I'm a very um I like to show my emotions, and that that that little moment that we just said in that time, UM, I got a

little tear coming out of one of my eyes. I don't have a tear duct in the other one, so that that prevents me from crying out of one of my eyes. But nextcess of tears do come out eventually. It probably won't show up right now, but it's gonna come back later. Now. Did you lose your tear ducts too by staring at the sun for too long? No? Um, it was actually just me neither. Definitely me neither. Well, that's something that we have in common that we both

didn't lose it that way. So what I want to say is I just want to give you a little something here. And I actually think that I might have flubbed and said at the top, but this is me correcting myself. Black holes actually don't suck. See, that's caused by like a vacuum or something. Things fall into black holes,

but they don't get sucked into a black hole. You know what I'm saying is they fall in a lot of people think that because cart wombs and other forms of media will show black holes like pulling people in, But in fact you would fall into a black hole versus that, you know what I'm saying. Okay, So is there a black hole that's close to us? Like, what's the nearest one if we wanted to say, push a stepmother in there that has wronged your time and time again.

I don't think that there's one close enough of that. Um, you might just have to find a manhole. Is something on Earth? Okay? Nothing? Um, you give a favorite planet, doctor, Actually, my favorite planet is the one that everybody's talking about. Bruno. What's that? It's a song we don't talk about Bruno? That was stupid? Who's that? But Hamilton's Oh all right, well I want to answer this question for you right here. Yeah,

the closest black hole to Earth. It's actually name Sagittarius. Ay, if we go back to what you were talking about, you know, but wow, that is the name of that particular black hole. I still have no interest or ability to answer your specific question about astrology. Okay, well I can answer yours. What sign are you? Doctor? H What sign are you? The last time I took one of those tests online, I was in aries. You're an aries.

That makes sense to see that. Listeners, if you've just happen to skip ahead to this part, rewind and listen our doctor, very aries, very aries. You're so aries. And I have absolutely no idea what that means. It means like you're doing things that were super aries. And again I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. And and see, listeners, this is why it's important to always listen because you might learn a thing or two from but that you're at least expecting it from.

And I think it would be most important for you to also take that note, because I feel like, where are you implying that you don't listen. I've been listening to this whole time. Could you tell me? And I'm a good list would you tell me anything? I have a very good listen. Give me some facts. My best friend David says I'm the best listener. Give me something that I've said. You have a son. His name is Lionel. He is a beautiful piano player, one third in the state,

and he's going to become a super nova star. I've never said when he dies. I've never said any of that, but then people on my trip into him, I didn't say any of that. And it's something because what you just did was paint a very beautiful picture of a young man who I wouldn't be disappointed in having as

a son. But seeing that I don't have a child right now, and I can't seem to find the right person for me to even think about starting your family with, it makes me sad because what you just ated was a phenomenal young man whom Lionel would be the best son that I could have. Add. Oh, well, professor, why don't we think a little bit more about Lionel. Maybe lionels in your cuture. There's this thing that the youths are also, and you're called manifesting. Maybe we should manifest

the son for you and a beautiful partner. I don't I don't really think that if you should be talking about No listeners, if you're listening to this, we're trying to find love now this is now are you their lover? It's Doc Spoon. I'm not into this. Yes, let's find love. No, I'm I'm I'm actually pretty good on that. Uh. Instead, let's um, let's just talk about I just give you

some quick facts, uh, some quick astronomy facts. UM. I feel like you're doing that thing that my dad does every time that I say that I love him and he starts looking for Lais in the closet, And you're trying to avoid the things that I'm saying, which is, maybe we should talk about the fact that you're very single, and you're very long. The system is about four point five billion years old, and maybe you should have a lover.

The moon is drifting away from Earth at the rate of one point five inches a year, like my dad's love is drifting away from me one point five alright, have his one. That's fun that the kids really enjoy. A person that weighs two and twenty pounds on Earth would only weigh eighty four pounds on Mars now that she's skinny. That's something different for you, right, I mean, that's the kids love that fact because they just like we can fly in space. Okay, can we get back

to you being single. Astronomers have made more than one point four million observations using the Hubble space telescope. Not to be able to use that one, that would be a dream there. Hubble rhymes with bubble, which is what I think that you're in right now while you're single. Let's profit find your lover. I'm just gonna be honest with you right now. That's not something that I particularly

want to share with you. We've been talking, and we've been very cordial and friendly with each other, despite a few little disagreements, a little TIFFs along the way. I don't feel comfortable talking with you specifically about my love life. Also on this podcast that I was brought on to talk about astronomy cook and that's that was my producer, Olivia that that brought you. I thought you were an astrologer. Is this a waste of my time? No? Not, the professor, Okay,

you know what. I love these fun talks. Please please, please please please, I'm still I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm just trying to mold young minds to get more excited about becoming astronomers. We need more. I think we have a lot, but we need more. You're tired of being the single astronomer. You're tired of being the only one. Again, I'm not the only one, and I would love it if you would stop bringing up my love life in

this conversation. I didn't bring up your love life, professor, doctor. I was just saying you're the only one I've ever met, which means you're the single astronomer in my life. And the thing is that I see what you're doing and I don't like it. But I'm not trying to again again. I'm on here to promote the Astronomy Club that I host over at the Corquerance Community Center. We've been there for over five years now. Actually and it has been

growing very slowly. We actually have a couple other astronomers that have come to speak and talk. We've also had I'm sure in their own right, they're all very attractive, I'm sure, but that's not what they're Therefore, they're there

to teach and mold the mind. We also we been starting a petition to try to get Neil de Grass Tyson did come and speak, and hopefully he's listening on here because it'll be great for Neil de Grass Tyson to come through to the corker In Community Center as speaking our Astronomy club because we love watching the Cosmos show that you have your your incredible Neal and I love I love your chicken nuggets. I love your chicken strips and the Buffalo Chicken nuggetes. Are you connecting um

Tyson's chicken nuggets to Neil Degrass Tyson's last name. That's not him. No, that's a totally different person. Okay, sorry, because by that, by that then you would also think that Mike Tyson was connected to them as well, right, No, how about Cicely Tyson. He wouldn't think that at all. So why would Neil degrass Tyson be the one that you chose to make that about. It's a it's a it's a popular last name. It's very common. There's absolutely no no, no reason. I would have just said that

was a bit, but you made it your truth. I just don't think that says that says a lot about you anyway. How often does that club meet? So we do like once every other week? Okay? And can anyone join? Anyone can join, all the welcome. The only prerequisite is you love space. Okay, so you hear that if you love Doc Spoo you have that's a prerequisite to have to join. You have to love Doc Sprew and you have to love you have to love space. You don't have to love me. Okay, you can love space too,

I guess, but you have to love Doc Sprew. Let's find docs. Boo love Doc. Are you mad at me? I'm not mad at you, just slightly irritated, but not mad. It sound just like sharing. I don't know who sharing is sharing? My step mom sharing anybody? Stepmom? Okay, she's the worst. I hate her. I believe that my positions mean I believe that my position has once again been confused as I am still in astronomer and not a therapist. Okay, so are you on my side or sharon side? Just answer,

are you on my side or Sharon's. I'm not on any one side. I don't really know the situation. And I think that any problem that you have with sharing, it's a problem that you and Sharon should talk about. Okay, well, then let me just paint you a picture using planets so it makes sense to you. Okay, let's say there's one planet and it's just minding its own business. Okay, it's just a cute planet with rings, with a bunch

of rings, like seven rings. Okay, it's just like going in space and it's fine, and all of a sudden it has it has this this meteor that's coming towards it, and then the meteor keeps annoying it, and then the meteor is like, stop playing with my my, my gurlers and and and stop moving around my highlights magazines. Those are for my other kids, not for you, and start

asking me to pick you up after chess club. It's not my fault that you keep getting eliminated so early in the in school tournament and you have to wait around for me. I promised your dad that I'll pick you up once a week and start asking me if we can go to Raising Caines. On the way back home. It makes my car smell all funny, and it's smelled already funny because of the time that you actually do keep yourself after the petting zoo in two three? Again,

how old are you? None of your business? And that's fair, you know? Again, another question I could just ask I just just looking at you, I don't think that you would feel that you wouldn't have to deal with sharing that often as you seem like you have your own freedom because I have to deal with all the time and she refuses to pick me up after these podcasts recordings too. But anyway, I think that's a good transition for us to go into our last segment of the episode,

which is I should have known. I would like to end things by shoking thing that I may be an expert in both our guests field and my own and every other field, but our guest might not be as smart as me. And to do that, I'm going to test our guests with five questions about me. Doc spew. Are you ready? Yeah, let's start now. Question number one, where did I have my first kiss? Uh at Sharon's What the hell? I had my first kiss at pit Bull's performance at the Kiss FM jingle Ball two seven.

It was very romantic, it was awesome. How am I supposed to know that there's an awesome, awesome thing that I got to do? And it was so cool? And then Sharon came into my life a year later, and then things weren't awesome and I really don't think that she should be unpacking this stuff. No, and then Edgar stopped texting me back on BlackBerry Messenger, and then my parents took away my BlackBerry. You shouldn't be telling me these things, Okay, my producers, Okay, I'm sorry. Okay's number two?

Name three of my ex boyfriends now Jake and Edward Edgar Jake Niga, I said three, Um, I honestly gotta say I don't care. Okay, Well, it's not my business. Well, the correct answer was sleepy, dopey or doc. You could put anyone lives Okay. Number three? Who's my favorite author? I don't know some self help book? No, it's Jojo Seawall. Question number four, what's my least favorite drink? Well? Can we be done? With this, Come on, and you have

two more questions left. What's my favorite drink doc spoo soap. No, I don't like what you're implying by that, And the answer is my half sisters stupid, my half sister super lemonade from that stand she's set up when she was five. And lastly, who's my favorite singer? Um? What's her name? Kim Kim Petrice? No, it's me, I'm my favorite singer. Thank you so much for joining us, and thanks to all the listeners for joining this week's episode of Are

You Their Dad? It's me Yoko And until next time, Bye,