Gabby Bernstein: Bestselling Author and Spiritual Teacher

Hi everyone, I'm Rachel Zoe and you're listening to Climbing in Heels for your weekly Dos, the Flamor Inspiration and of course Ben. I've been waiting to speak with our guest today for so long because I have such huge admiration for her and the beyond incredible work that she does to help so many people. The wonderful and I'm going to say prolific author, spiritual teacher, motivational speaker, podcast host, and more, Gabby Bernstein is on the show today. I'm

Here group in Westchester, and I grew up really spiritual, so similar to you, Rachel, I'm not religious. It's brought up Jewish, but i'mally religious.

Thing.

I was brought up in a home where spirituality was very natural conversation. My mother visited as Shroms and my mother would meditate, and I also was very drawn to the spirituality of Judaism. So I was very active in the youth group and I would leave these weekends of spiritual leadership and I was the president of the regional youth group.

And which is amazing, by the way, because I feel like then, because this was some time ago. I mean, you're only what puny, but but it was a minute ago.

I was a minute ago.

Yeah, this was not like we live in la now and people do these types of things, or if they were doing those things, it was like, oh, you're a hippie from Woodstock and like as shroms and like, it wasn't something that was I think taken very seriously by by most people.

Totally, and it was actually something I was kind of ashamed of. It was like, sort of, my mom's a weird hippie, right right, right? Why am I being named by the gurus? And you know when other kids were having normally experiences, right, So that spiritual seed was planted because we learn by experience, and we learn from what

Was was what I knew. I was really drawn to that.

And so as a young teenager, I was struggling with depression and anxiety, and I asked my mom to teach me how to meditate, and very quickly I was not only drawn to the practice, but experienced my own spiritual connection. And I experienced the physical sensations of being connected to spirit. And so you know, I know you are familiar with a lot of mediums, and at the time I didn't realize that, but that was my own medium shift. It

And this is all in my early twenties twenty one twenty two, So.

You already graduated, you already out of college at that point.

When I was out of college, I went right hardcore and to let me prove myself to the world, let me feel seen, because so much of my inner experience was feelings of inadequacy, and feelings of not being good enough, feelings of being unsafe, needing to feel in control, to feel safe, and to feel good enough, and to feel the world, of course, And and my.

First job out of school was I've never had I've never had a job. Actually I've always I had one. Yeah, like I think I interned for somebody wanted a joke.

So the the career started right away, right out of collegist. I've been promoting parties right, so right, very familiar to early days like going then I closed and say Gabby at the door, and and I learned really young.

Hold hold on, I want to rewind for one second. I want to I want to ask the questions. So, first of all, you haven't mentioned your dad. Was it just you and your mom? Were you raised by a single mom? Or you just different were divorced? So ikay, okay, because that's important because a very common thread on climbing and eels since I started it is a lot of these incredibly successful, powerful women come from a single mother.

I might as well have.

Yeah, So well, it's interesting though, because but also as girls, I mean, I think very often we look at our moms, especially in adolescent years and go bit you're crazy, Like I am not listening to you. I'm like, I'm doing the opposite. What are you doing? You're so wrong? So first I want to really touch on the fact that you didn't do that right because you were having like anxiety and depression and all these things, which is so important to actually recognize because in those days, I don't

I think I was really out of desperation, right, I didn't I didn't have any other way out. I was so you know, and I I was brought up homeopathic, so like going to a sex interesting kind of figuring that. It was like, more like, what's the remedy, you know, interesting it was it was It wasn't It wasn't like they were going to you know, sort of give me like ADHD, psych or anything.

Right. It was more like you.

Were not getting focal in in those days.

Or after all over and I was, and I was gifted this meditation practice, but at the time it was it was only a little bit that could give me that safety inside. And truly I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel safe inside, and and I didn't know why for so many years. And actually so much of it was revealed to me in my later life, but of it. Had experienced trauma as a child, I didn't know. I dissociated from it, and so with that I was very hyper vigilant.

I was really afraid.

And so that people who have adverse childhood experiences do often.

Wind up with addiction, and that was the case for me.

So by the time I was in my early twenties and running, you know, I was running a pr company that represented night clubs.

Right of course, Okay, as one would, which is perhaps the most dangerous job for like a young girl in Manhattan most like beautiful, like working the door, and guy like, I mean, it's yeah, it's it's it's a slip race.

I've honestly, like the amount of the shit that I did, I don't even know how I'm alive and so but I think I'm alive because I hit bottom fast.

Rachel, Yeah, when you were young.

By the time I was.

Twenty five, I was just with this severe cocaine addiction daily happy, and I was still like the salesperson of my company and a business partner. I was like, I was still the one bringing in all the business, so I could show up at noon.

I could.

I ran my own business. There was no consequences. But I had enough spiritual awareness. The stack of self help books that were next to my bed in my studio apartment, and I would have these after hours parties with like drug dealers, just random folks, and I'd be sitting in my apartment and I'd be looking at those self help books and I would say to them, I'm going to be a self help book author and a motivational speaker.

These people will be like shut the fuck off, like.

You okay, you're about to die, Like what you talking?

All right? What are you talking about?

But I knew, I always knew I had that spiritual faith inside. I leaned on these books. I would read them as I was coming down at night. I would journal feverishly in my journal. And I remember being one one day, really the days before I got clean and sober.

I was go rewind. It was a cassette tape.

Cassette tape. Obviously, you're right by the Waverley by the way exactly and Mumba exactly.

So I would hit rewind and play and rewind and play and rewind and plane.

I just kept hitting it again and again and again because I wanted to keep listening to this words. And what I was listening to was this psychic reading that I had had six months prior and the psychic's words were so clear, and she kept saying to me, you're you're addicted, You're having.

Prediction problems, and I was like, it's not that bad.

And then she went on to say, you have two choices in this lifetime. You can choose to stay on the path that you're on and it will be very destructive, where you can choose to get clean and make a major impact on the world.

And I just kept.

Repeating this, rewind, play, rewind play, listening to the cassette tape, and I got out of my car and I went back to my apartment and I started to fall asleep.

That morning, it was like noon.

At this point, I was just scribbling in my book, you know, get get clean and live a life beyonder wildless dreams.

And and it was days.

Later that I made that commitment to get clean and sober and October second, two thousand and five, it was nineteen years ago.

Wow, Ohity for you, Yeah, and I for you.

That was the turning point of my life and the turning point of my career because obviously, if this is my new life, I'm not going to be able to do what I was doing. Yeah, very quickly, brove into becoming a spiritual teacher.

I mean, like if you had been in New York at.

That time, I was, I was. It was the best, by the way, it was belfing best.

It was fun. I wish you guys had been in my early lectures like it was. It was. It was so cool.

It was just like all these girls like dressed to the nines that otherwise would have been in the club, but now it's Friday night and they're like in a church listening to me talk about spirituality.

Huh. And by the way, I will say this, Gabby to the to that end that I knew many people that I was very close too at that same exact time that you were going through this that we're also going through it and didn't get clean and it ended very differently, and you know, and it ended very differently. And even one of them myself recently is in rehab for like I don't know, twentieth time now. Yeah, like wild. So,

I got sober in twelve step program. I got myself and sober. I walked my ass over to the famous, the famous meeting in the West Villain.

Yes, I asked, I was so many of people allowed.

That meeting thirty am every morning. And I did that for six years in a row. And the thing that was so cool about that time, and I have such fond memories of that time. Rachel was I was young in sobriety in New York City in the early two thousands, and it was hard, you know what though, it was so fun. It was so fun for me because there, because they were young. It was all the people you party with. Yeah, of course, man, you know there's a guy who's lines with and they're all in meeting.

There's that fashion editor, that famous.

Mashion designer, like everybody there and then and and but there was this youthful There is in New York City still a young contingency of sobriety that's been in LA as well. That's so awesome because when you find your way into that, it's actually like this extraordinary community that you get wrapped with.

It wraps around you.

And my friends who have stayed sober with me throughout the two decades now we won, they're extraordinarily successful and they're fields and two they're just they're just there's it's just sort of like childlike essence there's because there's so much recovery and we have such on memories of those times.

And also, I think I would argue to say that addiction is something that it well, first of all, you know, it doesn't discriminate, right, Like, it really doesn't discriminate. I think we know that. And I think when you're surrounded by people that are just like you, it's not like, no way that happens to them. It's like, no, that happened to me, and it happened to this person that is really a lot like me. And I think when you.

Have that.

Epiphany, it makes you, it makes I think that journey a little bit I don't want to say easier, but I think you are your friends, right like fellowship.

You know, you'll yeah have fellow Step addicts talk about fellowship is what saves them because you know, when you're early in sobriety, you may not know what a higher power is to you. You might not resonate B, but you have the community, and the community can can save you.

And in my case it did. And then it.

Made me really inspired to create community outside of those rooms where people may not have the privilege of finding their way into those rooms. Sure, and so that's where my my spiritual community, getting on stages and just giving talks with with you know, setting up the chairs in my heels, talk about being.

In my heel exactly.

Setting up I was like renting a room in the Gay Lesbian Transgenders that's on thirteenth Street, and like legit like like opening up like chairs by myself or with my volunteers.

These these those like metal folding chairs, those like ones without like pretend cushion lining on it.

Audience has got big, Rachel.

It's like three hundred chairs, right, So I'd be like opening up these chairs and this little jinky platform and the crappiest sound system and people were coming and I saw videos from those days. I'll send you a clip of a video. You could mix it in here. God, it was so funny, you know. The outfits were just totally fucked, but like I needed you I.

Really, honey, you're you're doing fine, like you do it right now. But here's the thing, so I've often said, and I don't know if it's a good thing to say. I say it as a joke, but I kind of mean it also, but anxiety for me, it's kind of served a bit as my superpower, a bit as my fire, a bit as like my I don't I don't know that I've ever looked at it as a negative thing.

Now.

It's like when people would say to me about styling, I love clothes. I'm going to be a stylist, bitch, do you like to work your fucking ass off? And like miss everything that matters in your life, like you know, like let me so I want to talk to you about that because nine now soon to be ten books and a million talks later in front of thousands of people, and like you have set the bar now right, So tell me about how you became. Gaby Bernstein this like nice Jewish girl from Westchester.

I think that that the becoming.

Is actually the undoing right because as I as I grew in my career, I was growing inside right and.

The real yourself along the way.

I've written ten books in fourteen years. I've written everything in one of those books for myself. First. Every talk I've given, I've given for myself. Everything I've done, I have done to heal my own core belief systems and to reshape my patterns and unburden myself from beliefs and extreme behaviors that have been protecting me for so many years, and to release those forms of protection and feel safe

And in my new book self Help, actually.

Which is so funny that you named it that, Yeah, that was a little tongue in cheek, I feel it.

Is because because what it's about is accessing your highest self as your internal parent, to heal all those younger parts of yourself that have been so.

Burned for so long. And so in this instance that that self, that self energy.

Maybe you would consider it like flow energy, or maybe like the Buddha nature or the God within you, or your confidence and your courage, and like Rachel, when you're on set and you're just in the flow and you're just in that place, you're just like time, it's just gone, and you're just expanding moments that self right when you're with your boys and you're just in like that child

What do you do when the clouds are covering too thick?

I would pick up the book self Help?

I gather, I know, I'm picking up the book self Help.

That's damn sure.

Now I'll tell you exactly what you do. It's a four step practice in the book, and we can do it right now. I mean, I think that that's the simplicity of it. This book is based on a therapy that changed my life, and then I took that therapy. It's called IFS Internal Family Systems Therapy, and I made it a self help tool because it changed my life so much that I wanted people outside of the therapist's office to get it. So I made it a tool.

Right.

So, typically when we have those beliefs in those patterns that are so strong and so ingrained in us, like people pleasing or overworking, or addiction, or you know, running too.

Much empathy, empathy to the detriment, overriding.

Ourselves exactly, codependency.

For me, there's a controlling part that's really run my life for very long.

I know, any entrepreneurs, any woman that you have on this show is and be like, I got a controller.

I know, perfectionism, control. I mean, there's definitely ten, a list of ten that we could all pretty much check.

I think so many, and there's so these parts of us are Actually if you ask those parts of yourself, like the controlling part of yourself, or the part of you that maybe it is the perfectionist Rachel, if you asked, how long have you been around?

What would those parts of you say?

I mean since I was born? I mean I can ever, I don't know when when.

Not, when it hasn't been there, we don't even. Of course, the work in this book is about witnessing those those parts of us that are so extreme that we often can shame and blame, and seeing them actually as protection mechanisms, like coping mechanisms.

Yeah of course, right, okay, so.

You can it's like, okay, I'm not going to get hurt because I can do this, or like that person can't do that to me because I'm going to use this power that I have.

That's exactly right. And so if we've got these protection mechanisms on high alert all the time, the next question is who are these protection mechanisms. These will call them protector parts. Who are they protecting?

Right?

And so it's the young little girl that feels like someone's going to take advantage of her, or the little girl in my case, the little girl who experienced trauma who does feel safe, or the little girl lived in chaos and was just like I need to control everything in order to not feel like I'm going to die. And so we live our lives and those are exiled little little parts of ourselves that experienced trauma or attachment brief breach, or the feelings of inadequacy, being unlovable or not good.

And how much you block those I think as women, we block them so we can move forward.

Right, We live in these protector parts, these coping mechanisms to never have to feel those exiled feelings again. So what happens we live from trigger to trigger, right, so somebody doesn't do the thing we want and then we're like super fucking activated and we're in this new part or you know, we're being a perfectionist because things don't

Okay.

So this book is all about helping the coping mechanisms, helping the protector parts feel more settled. Okay, And so I'm gonna take you through it because I think you're ready for this, all right, So you're tracking with me.

We don't have to do it you in real time, but you're a listener, can do it.

Yeah, No, I mean I listen. I think to some extent, I don't even think to some extent we all need this. And I do want to say one thing before and I want to see if you agree with me. I was at this event Lachma and a really dear friend of mine, a very successful power couple wife total badass husband, badass and a sweetheart. And he was telling me how all the guys in his life are like breaking down. Right, So he's about forty six forty seven, He's like, all

Add hormones to all of the okay, add no puberty and add but then add part of and then and then.

I'd fucking menopause to that.

Yeah yourself, men, Yeah exactly. Are a lot of the people that you speak to and work with young, because I believe that some of the work that you do is the most important for adolescents, because I think that I think that your journey as an adult is so impacted by those years.

My most important student is my son, Oliver, who's six. He has my absolute most valuable student, and he is my most important to understand, not just because he's mine, but because he's so malleable right that when I see Allie get flooded with because he actually can't stand to be wrong right, So the second he gets a number wrong or a letter wrong, he loses his shit and he'll storm off.

And so instead of saying to.

Him you're fine, you're fine, or you know you did just fine, or you're gonna be fine or get over it or move on it'll be whatever, like let it go is not a big deal, instead of overriding his experience, I'll follow the steps first, I'll choose to check it. I have to give him the choice to check it.

You know, if you go to your.

Boys when they're activated talk about it, they'll be like, no, I'm not ready, you know, to the hand.

And so I'll have to wait a little bit.

And so sometimes I'll go to his room and he'll rustle around, and once I see things moving around in his room, I can go in a knock and be like, would you like to check it? So when I get buy in from him, I know it's and he's only six.

I want to just remind everyone because this is so important.

I really there's a two year old. You can do with a two year old.

Yeah, but I feel what you're saying, and I think it's so important for parents to hear this. This is not stuff that happens when you graduate college and go on your own. This is stuff that is from day one that.

You no If we can help our little people, that's how we save the world, because all the drama in our world is just people that activated parts being activated and debated and activated.

Yeah, that's what we're living in right now.

So by helping Ali have that inner resilience, he can't connect to that self energy. He needs me to be it for him right now. And if I can be it for him, then he can learn to access that for himself. So then I'll just get curious, you know, like what's.

Going on, what are you feeling? What do you want me to know? And then I'll ask what do you need?

And I'll be like I need a hug, or I need space or whatever he needs. And then I'll see and I'll check in a it does he seem a little.

Bit more calm?

Does he seem a little connected, does he seem curious, does he seem like there's a creative energy going And once I see the shift in him, then I'll then I'll know we can redirect right. And that's what all those great great parenting books will say, like connect and redirect right. Connection has to come first, and that connection is through the four steps right now?

Okay, so internal internal family systems? Can you define that? Like, because that obviously something you're trying to scream about, Like what actually does that mean? Because we know what are internals systems are? But what is internal family systems is that you're saying those are the triggers, and the triggers nothing to.

Do with your external family except for the fact that they may be the triggers that put the feelings there.

But it's actually an inner family of parts of who you are.

So it's like an inn family of little children inside your self. Energy is the internal parents, the inner leader. And instead of overriding all these young experiences and patterns that have been around for so long, the ideas to befriend them and know them and give them some space to reveal what they need so that they can relax. And then when these parts of us relax, more of that calmness can emerge, more of that clarity can emerge

And we live our lives checking out, checking out, checking out. I got this good?

Yeah, control over this, or I'm going to eat over this, or I'm going to drink over this, or I'm going to work over this.

I'm gonna numb out with YouTube over this.

And we're just in these patterns, just just pushing past, pushing people, pleasing over this, whatever it is, because I don't want to feel those feelings.

Instead of having.

To go to the darkest feelings of our life, which we can do in therapy, this practice is just about tending to those protection mechanisms.

Yeah, it's so important. It's so interesting because it's so incredibly important because I think, I mean, listen, I'm gonna use myself as an example, right because I can't speak to anybody else, but I can say that for me, it's that constant like I grew up in the most loving, like non traumatizing childhood, right like I just I say that very openly because I understand as an adult how grateful I am for that.

Right.

That does not mean that I'm not fucked up in many ways from Gondos one. But I guess what I'm saying is that I definitely have lived my adult life and listen, probably my younger life life, right, but like with protections with walls, and everybody's like, how do you do it? How do you go through blah blah blah blah blah, and they'll list out ten things I'm dealing with, right, and then like personal shit work stuff like kids at whatever it is, right, and I'm like, you just do

Wow, even that language, that's so beautiful. I block and tackle. Right, We're all living our lives block and tackle, blockerly, block and tackle. Everyone listening is going to be like, yeah, me too, in their ways, right, your own ways. And the thing that's really important for me to say, Rachel, is that these parts of us, while they may be very extreme, they also have had really good roles in

You know what I mean and not.

But what you're saying is exactly why I think as women and many men, we know, many incredibly successful men, they're going to say, well, why am I going to try and change that? Right? Because it's working. I'll tell you at what point? Yeah, please? Because I think that's interesting.

Well, think like, well, I don't want to lose my edge, right your fire. Actually, what I want to suggest is that you can just soften your edges. So I'll give you my own example. Right, So, the controller has done a lot in nineteen years of her career and in forty five years of her life, she's done a lot of good for the world. She has written many books, she's spoken all over the place, She's done a lot for the world.

She's created a child, the whole thing.

But she's done it in such extreme ways for so long at my own expense. And so I wouldn't have that child like joy, right, I would miss the joy of like tasting my food or like having fun in the moment and just being present. And so I don't want that controller to stop doing the great work she's doing, but I definitely don't want her to run the show

Right.

So instead of being the asshole on the team call being like do this, do that, she can actually speak with more clarity now because she's one mom, and she can say, I'm noticing that things are not working out the way that I would hope, and I need things to be a little bit more organized, and so my expectation is x y Z, and so I'm.

Looking forward to seeing the results much. So.

That's a badass, powerful entrepreneur talking to the team saying it's time for all of us to get in gear.

But it's not a controlling asshole, right.

It's that's so interesting. That is so interesting because I think I want to really I want to touch on that because I think I think there is this real like it's like a tug of war. I think in most successful powerful people like I can't be me unless I do this right. And I've always said my number one thing is lead with love, lead with kindness. You

Act like this, right, I won't be heard.

I won't I won't be heard.

And the thing is, you know, one time I.

Had my therapist, She's like, I would recommend that maybe you don't run your business like a ten year old anymore, and from your ten old and I'm like, every day you every day, even today, I was like talking about VP of marketing. I was like, Okay, I recognize there's a part of me that wants this done tomorrow and that that could maybe be a little bit aggressive, and so I'm gonna speak for what I want and what i need, but I'm also going.

To give you some space. Right.

So it's so different than just being blended with that part of myself and thinking if I don't get it done the way that I want it, in the time that I want it, I won't survive.

Right.

And that's the miracle of this work is that the more you check in the more you start to experience that calmness in that connection, and the more clarity you have and the more creative energe you have, and this new part of you starts to emerge. And what that part of you that's starting to emerge is is a child like part of you that got pushed.

Down for so long, the happy child, the happy child to be by the way, that's to be your next book, happy child, like you know, I mean.

You're so prolific at this point. I feel like you could write one by Monday or something.

I want another one already. I have another one. I'm submitting it in January.

So I do I do want to touch on one thing you said, because you said my therapist, because I think many people would say, well, Gabby and going to her talks and da da da, she is my therapist now, right. And I also want to say that I'm someone who until very recently, and I've never said this out loud other than to my internal people. You know, I've never been a believer in therapy. Right, yet I have more people in my life that can't breathe without a therapist.

Well, I have a couples therapists, I have a personal therapist. I have because you know why, Rachel, I want to feel as absolutely.

Free as I can.

So interesting.

I have been on a pursuit of freedom since the moment I landed here on this planet, and that freedom is what I'm here to live inside and what I'm here to teach, so I will hopefully.

I mean, my new therapist is like fabulous.

I love her so much, and I love all my therapists I've had throughout my life, but this one is just so amazing.

That is really like shining the crystal. You know. It's like I go in and I'm like, what who are we going to check in with today? You know? And I do.

IFS therapy, So that's what I'm drawing to have read book for it. But it's just had such a profound impact on my life that I wouldn't do it any differently. And I think that that what's it's about this book.

It's called self help.

It's like for the folks that are like, no, thank you, it's really for the people that are in the therapy because it will Hanser therapy, for spiritual students because it will Hnsterer spiritual practice, And it's for the folks that are like, I don't really like is this it? Like it's just happen to feel forever, like is this a better way? But maybe they don't want to go to therapy, And.

So this is a gentle path. This isn't asking you to go unearth your deepest, darkest wounds. It's asking you just to find a new way of relating to yourself.

And it's very attainable, like I almost feel like this is sort of the one oh one for people who are like it's self help one oh one, And I think that's probably what you meant by the by the title a little bit, which is like, you know what, this doesn't take a whole lot of work. This is like really just helping you in your every day life feel the best you can. Or even just if you feel a little better from doing this throughout the day, that's what.

You're trying better.

Yeah, that's actually my goal for the reader is like, have these moments follow the four steps, even once a day. But the more often you do it, more more more free feel. But they have to do it once a day, you get a glimmer of that self energy so calm, that connection. And it's just really about adding up those moments, those glimmers, because once you have a little taste of it and you're like, ooh, I just said that four steps and I actually feel a lot more calm right now.

It's like a break. It's okay, it's it's a break.

And once you have a taste of that, you want more of it? I mean to ask you a question in you.

I want to ask a question because I could obviously talk to you for fifteen hours, but I do have to let you go. You said that you've been on a journey for freedom, internal freedom and external. I imagine since you came onto this earth, right, how do you feel today at forty five with ten bucks soon to be eleven? God knows the next time I freaking speak to you, helping get jillions of people, and you know, having been through what you've been through, how do you feel on your journey to freedom?

Like?

How do you feel today?

I'm going to answer with a story.

So I was a he a few weeks ago and I was at dinner and I'm I'm looking at the menu and You're gonna laugh when I talk about this, but I was like, I was like, the well is chicken, soup is just everything, and like the Palma duro, I love the pama dura.

I need to share the tacos. And my friend was sitting across from me.

It's like a good friend of mine, and she looks at me and she goes, yeah, but you're having so much fun in life right right, I was like I fell off my chair.

I was like, who, Like, who is this Gabby you're referred to? And it's so true. It was like all of a sudden, it's like child like emerging.

And I was just like so focused on the ub Welles's chicken soup and all I wanted and I couldn't.

There was nothing burdening me.

And I was having fun and so happy to be with these friends and just sitting outside in la and eating beautiful food and just in child like wonder. And so the answer is I'm getting to freedom, honey.

Isn't that great? And I'm gonna I'm gonna actually say to that that over the last like three months, I've weirdly had at least one hundred people in my life very close to me, without knowing, without saying, just going, you feel so light, you look so sparkly, you you look so happy, you look so like you know, like, I think, to your point, a little more of that spirit, a little more of that light, a little more of

You know?

And they still don't know, by the way, right, But like at the end of the day, to your point, I think that freeing behavior of how you move through even just at dinner talking about the excitement about food, and I think when you talk about happy people, to your point, it's people who are genuinely excited by something so simple.

Yeah, yes, you know.

Like yes, my day. How about when how about twenty people that you've seen in a day and you go, I'm good, how are you? And they're like I'm good, and the next thing. But then every once in a while you get a person that go that says like I'm great, totally, I'm great, Like it's a beautiful day. I just had the best breakfast, like oh my god,

Presence, but wow, right, it's presence, and it's, uh, that's what life's about.

And I think that most people don't live there.

Well, I love you for making your life's purpose not only self actualizing. I hate to use that term, but I guess getting yourself to your freest place, but actually making it your life's goal to get everyone to their freest place, because it's such a beautiful thing. And you know, it's like in the simplest way, it's like turning that frown upside down, right.

And I I it's a very selfish career I have.

If I wouldn't say that, well, it's selfish because if I do it right for myself, then I can do it right for you. And you asked me early on. You said well, what allowed what made you gabby? And it was realizing that there was no one else I was trying to be right, and that I was going to just keep peeling back of the layers of the

Yeah, and actually changing the world and helping a million people doing it, And now everyone wants to be a life coach.

My answer to those folks is good, but go do the self help, of course, because you.

Don't want to heal yourself to heal others. Yeah, okay, so before you go, I'm going to give you like a handful of questions. Just wrap it around just because it's what I do. To close, So like two second answers, morning person or night owl?

Oh, morning person all the way?

Okay, favorite season, fall mountains are beach.

Both.

This one should be interesting for you. One thing you'd tell your younger self, It's.

Gonna be great.

I like it.

Mass scara or blush Oh got mess scara all the way? Yeah?

Same, Well this is interesting. Another job you'd like to try?

I would be a great CMO, like, yeah, you would, pot marketing like I would such a good CMO.

You would? You really would? Okay, I already know the answer to this.

But quiet weekend or on the go, you're gonna be surprised.

On the go, not surprised.

I would you with it.

You are a go fucking go girl.

What am I talking about?

You are not a suit on your ass kind of verson.

Yeah.

One piece of advice for raising boys?

Oh curiosity?

Okay, where have you not traveled that you would like to?

Ooh ooh? Japan?

Interesting? Both of my kids are dying to go to Japan. They asked me every single day, ask permission or ask for forgiveness, forgiveness, same color text. See I knew you were going to say that, because that's you. Of course, cal biggest pet peeve.

People being late, hate it not acceptable to me.

Heels or flats.

I prefer heels, heels, okay, a smaller heel, A booth.

Yeah. Well, I'm so excited. I'm so excited for your next book. Everyone running get it. I'm sure you already have Gabby's first nine and soon, I mean we'll be able to get an eleventh, but I think this one is definitely one for everyone, and I think we all need it, whether we admit it or not. And it doesn't matter how much you think you have your shit together,

I'll caffeinate with you.

Okay, Okay, I love you. Thank you so much to Gabby for coming on the pod today. I mean, she is so beyond special. I could have had this be