Why You Need to Stop Relying on Familiar Routines

Ronald L Banks 0:00

If you're feeling stuck or unfulfilled, it might be because you're playing it too safe, sticking to what's familiar. And let's be honest, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is a dead end. So, if you're ready to break the cycle and see real change in your day-to-day life, whether it's decluttering, pursuing a new project, or advancing your career. This is for you.

Ronald L Banks 0:25

See, stepping out of character, even in small ways, can radically shift your mindset, boost your productivity and bring you a new sense of clarity and fulfillment, because staying in your comfort zone isn't just holding you back, it's costing you your potential.

Ronald L Banks 0:55

Hey, my friend, welcome back to another episode of the Clarity Club. I think a lot about the concept of change and how rewarding it can be. I mean, change is the reason I started down this path toward more clarity in the first place, and so naturally, I want to start this conversation by addressing the problem with familiarity. Here are the facts.

Ronald L Banks 1:16

Familiarity is comforting. It gives us a sense of control and security, but it can also trap us in patterns that keep us from growing. Whether it's sticking to old habits, avoiding difficult conversations, or continuing in a career that no longer excites you, familiarity can become a barrier to the life you truly want to live and see. The problem with this is that familiarity keeps us playing small, or worse, it blocks us from taking action altogether, right? It prevents us from taking the necessary steps forward on the path we're currently traveling.

Ronald L Banks 1:51

And unfortunately, many people don't recognize this hindrance early on, or they don't simply think about it from this perspective. And I'm not exempt from this. It took me several years to wake up and recognize what I was doing to myself and my potential by sticking to what was familiar. See, when we stick to what we know, we limit our potential to explore new opportunities, to learn new skills, and to evolve, and that's because it's easy to go through life on autopilot, right, doing the same thing over and over. But if we're expecting a different result and we're not giving a different behavior, then the math ain't mathing. Alright?

Ronald L Banks 2:36

To make progress, whether it's in our personal lives, decluttering our homes, or thriving in our careers, we have to break free from this cycle, and we do that by breaking character—stepping away from what's familiar and trying something different.

Ronald L Banks 2:52

And so what I want to do today is I want to show you how you can challenge yourself to behave differently but in the direction of who you want to become, and there are four simple steps that round out this process. But before I unpack those steps and walk you through the how to, I think it's important that I first share some examples with you of what it looks like to step out of character, just so you can get an idea of how this action could play out in your life. And then we'll walk through the necessary steps and how to get started together.

Ronald L Banks 3:20

Now, breaking out of character forces us to think and maneuver differently from what we're familiar with, and when forced, we're much more likely to make decisions, focus and produce results. And so imagine the possibilities if you stepped out of character for one day. What could you accomplish? Here are some examples.

Ronald L Banks 3:40

Let's talk about tackling clutter. If you're currently stuck in the frozen zone when it comes to decluttering certain aspects of your life, then this could be a great opportunity to step out of character and try something different. And so take a look at that closet full of items that you've been avoiding, or the clutter in your bedroom or your garage that you're constantly putting off until next week or next month. Imagine dedicating just one day to sort through those items in that space. See in this example, by stepping out of character and embracing the role of a decisive organizer, you could create a clutter-free space that brings peace and clarity to your daily life, and you could do that relatively quickly by just getting started and taking it one day at a time.

Ronald L Banks 4:25

Okay, now let's look at another example, and at this time, let's talk about speaking up in meetings at work. Now this is something that I struggled with when I was working in corporate America. I didn't speak up much at all in the meetings that I attended during the eight years that I was at this company unless A) it was my meeting that I was hosting, or B) someone else in the room shared something that was closely related to what I was thinking, and only then that I have the confidence to speak up and voice my ideas and opinions.

Ronald L Banks 4:55

And so, if you usually stay quiet in meetings, challenge yourself to speak up and voice your ideas and opinions. Step out of character for just one day or just for one meeting and see what happens. Right? You might find that your contributions are valued more than you anticipated, opening doors to new opportunities and recognition in your career.

Ronald L Banks 5:19

Let's talk about building a business. Now, there are many different ways that you can step out of character and do something that's different from what you're familiar with if you're self-employed. And this is something that I'm currently living as I've been fully self-employed for almost a year now and building my own business every day. But in this example, the perspective that I want us to look at this from is this, and I have a question for you.

Ronald L Banks 5:42

Have you been sitting on a business idea for months or years now that you're afraid to start, whether it's a fear of failure or a lack of knowledge, and you have an amazing idea for a digital product or a service you could provide, or maybe you love baking, or your friends and family are constantly asking for you to make them something, and you've toyed with the idea of turning that into a business and earning some extra money on the side, instead of doubting yourself and allowing fear to orchestrate your actions, step out of character and take one day to just map out a plan and start working on your business. Set up an LLC, write a business plan, purchase a domain, open a business bank account, right? See, taking small steps like this could be the beginning of something transformative for you and your audience or your customers.

Ronald L Banks 6:39

Here's a perspective that likely hasn't crossed your mind. Let's talk about setting boundaries as a last example. If you often say yes to requests that drain your energy, if you're constantly agreeing to do things that you don't want to do or don't have the time for, but you feel pressured and obligated to engage in them, if there are toxic relationships in your life that you are trying to get away from, but for every one step you take away from that relationship, it feels like there's a rope dragging you three steps closer. Whatever it is, break character and try setting boundaries for just one day.

Ronald L Banks 7:17

Try prioritizing your own needs and time, rather than giving so much of yourself to things that don't add value or interest you. Try prioritizing your peace rather than leaving your sanity in the hands of someone else.

Ronald L Banks 7:31

Now all of this is easier said than done. I recognize that, but that's the thing about breaking character; sometimes it can feel like you're playing your life in a game, and when done right, when done intentionally, this mindset shift can transform your day-to-day and bring you a new sense of clarity and fulfillment. And so imagine the possibilities if you stepped out of character for just one day. What could you accomplish?

Ronald L Banks 8:08

Alright, so as promised, let's shift gears now and talk about how you can challenge yourself to step out of character and behave differently, but in the direction of who you want to become, right? And here's the headline to highlight before we walk through the four steps I'm prepared to share.

Ronald L Banks 8:27

Stepping out of character doesn't require a complete overhaul of your life overnight. That's unrealistic, alright. All that's required is starting with small, intentional actions that align with the person you want to become. So let's unpack these steps. They're simple and approachable, which means it's easy to get started.

Ronald L Banks 8:51

Step one. Based on the conversations that we've had so far, I'm sure you could think of a handful of behaviors that you're engaging in that keep getting in the way of your progress. Whether it's procrastination, a negative mindset, or simply saying yes to too many things, whatever that behavior is, or those behaviors are, identifying them is the first step to making meaningful changes in your life, but I want you to just pick one. Now, what makes this hard is that behaviors like this, habits like this are so ingrained in our routine, and ignoring them won't make them disappear, it only allows them to grow stronger, right?

Ronald L Banks 9:30

So for example, let's say you find yourself scrolling through social media instead of working on a project. Well, you're not just wasting time, but you're reinforcing the habit of distraction right. And now, someone might argue that behaviors like this, whether it's scrolling through social media or something else entirely, that behaviors like this aren't that big of a deal, or that they're harmless if done in moderation. However, small behaviors, when repeated daily, can lead to significant setbacks on your journey. And so the key, the point in all of this, is to be honest about what's holding you back and then recognize the power in small, consistent changes.

Step two. After you've identified a behavior to change. Now we can talk about committing to a single day to break the pattern, right? And that's because changing long-standing habits can feel overwhelming, to say the least, but committing to one day can make it more manageable. But here's the thing, committing to change, even for one day, can bring up resistance, and that's because we're human. Sometimes change is intimidating. Sometimes change is challenging. Which is why we have to remember that we're not committing to a permanent change yet. We're committing to just one day. It's a test run, right?

And so if someone said to me right now that they fear that they won't be able to follow through and commit to that change. Then my response to that would be, well, that's exactly why starting with one day is so powerful. It removes the pressure and creates a low-stakes environment for experimentation. And really what I've learned from my experience is that all it takes is one day to start breaking a pattern, to start disrupting a pattern. And that's why I love this concept of stepping out of character.

See, by dedicating just one day to changing your behavior, you prove to yourself that change is possible, even if it's just a small step.

Step three. Let's fast forward in time now, which means you've made it through one day. The next step is to reflect on what you've learned. So ask yourself, what did I learn about myself and what did I learn about my habits, which is a great journaling prompt, by the way. And pro tip—journaling is one of the best exercises you can engage in to gain insights about your own behaviors.

Now I will add this. It can be tempting to skip this step and move forward without giving this much thought. But when you take the time to reflect on your experience, to evaluate how things went the last 24 hours when you stepped out of character, that's where the real growth happens. Because, for example, you might realize that you know the habit you're trying to break or the behavior you want to change isn't as difficult to manage as you thought. Or on the other hand, you might realize that there are some overlapping struggles you have to deal with that have made this process more difficult than you expected. Either way, it's valuable information because it gives you a clear sense of where you are and the adjustments you need to make to move forward, and you can't ask for any more clarity than that.

Step four. Change doesn't happen overnight. I don't care how convinced you are of this; change does not happen overnight, but repeating small steps consistently can lead to lasting transformation. And so now that you've identified a behavior to change, committed to one day and reflected on your experience, the next best thing you can do is build on that progress.

But see, the challenge here is maintaining motivation to keep going because, at any time, you can slip back into old habits if you don't have a plan to build momentum, right? But see, building momentum is a whole heck of a lot easier if you think about this from the right perspective. Here's what I mean. If you commit to changing a behavior for one day at a time, for a week, then that's seven opportunities for growth. That's seven chances to reflect, adjust, and improve, and so we must remember that it's not about taking a huge leap but rather taking small, steady steps forward that make a difference and build that momentum over time.

The number one thing that I want you to take from this conversation and carry with you is this, start small. With every step you take, you're not just building a new habit. You're building a new version of yourself. And so walking through this process, step by step helps you realize that meaningful change is possible.

So start with identifying one behavior you want to change, and then break character one day at a time. This might mean letting go of items that no longer serve you, even if they're tied to your past identity, or it could involve pursuing a new project, asking for more responsibility at work or building your own business. Whichever path you're traveling by stepping out of character, you're not just changing your behavior. You're redefining what's possible for you in your life. And it's in meaningful change like this that you'll find clarity and fulfillment.

I'm rooting for you, my friend. And I hope I shared something with you in this conversation—I hope I said something that gives you the confidence to step out of character. Keep growing on your journey, and we'll speak again soon. Peace.