Have you ever taken a moment to think about what your belongings might say about you? I mean, it’s easy to overlook, but our stuff tells a story. A story about who we are, what we value, and even the struggles we face. And so today, we’re going to uncover the hidden messages in your clutter and discover how it might be holding you back.
Ronald L Banks:Hey, my friend, welcome back to another episode of the Clarity Club. I want to start this conversation by sharing an expression you may have heard before, and I promise it’s relevant to this conversation, so just stick with me for a moment. Here’s the expression. You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. Now, if you haven’t heard this expression before, here’s what it means.
Ronald L Banks:The company you keep refers to the relationships we maintain in our life, and these relationships directly affect us. They impact how we think, how we live, how we’re perceived, and even the decisions we make. You know, show me who you hang around, and I’ll tell you who you are, right? And so imagine for a moment that I asked your closest friend or someone whose relationship you deeply value. Imagine that I asked this person, what they thought of you, what would they say? Hopefully, all good things, right? I think deep down, all of us, regardless of where we are in life, we deeply want our friends to say something nice about us behind our back, right? We hope that they would right.
Ronald L Banks:And so let’s take this idea, let’s take this concept, and let’s apply it to our belongings, our possessions, the things that we surround ourselves with. What would your stuff say about you, and does that match the type of person you want to put out into the world? Does that match how you want to be perceived and received by others in your life, your friendships, your relationships, those in your professional network?
Ronald L Banks:Does this response reflect what you value?
Ronald L Banks:You see, something that we don’t typically think about is that everything we own tells a story. Everything we own tells a story, whether it’s the things that we value or the clutter that we need to get rid of. Our possessions reflect who we are, what we value, and the struggles we face, regardless if those things are an accurate representation of us or not. Right. Remember, show me who you hang around, and I’ll tell you who you are. Show me what you purchase, show me where you spend your time, show me where you spend your money, and I’ll tell you a lot about who you are.
Ronald L Banks:Now, this concept is very similar to the idea that you can judge a person by the company they keep, right? And what makes this interesting to me, at least, is that the clutter in our life isn’t just a collection of memories, emotional attachments, or random junk that we bought at the flea market, right? It also represents a barrier between us and the deeper issues we need to address. And for many people, our clutter acts as a shield against emotional pain, against insecurities, against the void we may feel in our lives.
Ronald L Banks:And this isn’t the case for everyone. I’m not implying that it is. I’m not going to assume that everyone has deeper issues they need to address, and that’s why they have so much clutter in their life, right? There’s also a large sum of people where the clutter in their life is just simply because of bad purchasing habits – accumulating things over the years that you thought you would need, that you bought just in case, that you keep telling yourself that It’ll come in handy one day. There’s a large sum of us that have clutter in our life because of that.
Ronald L Banks:But there are also many of us where the clutter in our life is acting as that shield, and we’re accumulating things to protect ourselves from something, from facing something, from facing the realities of our life, our situation, and our circumstances. And so I want to help you understand how you can approach decluttering differently, so you can push past this, so you start to change the narrative of what your stuff may be saying about you, and what I want you to do is I want you to ask yourself a simple question. And I want you to ask yourself, okay, what would my stuff say about me?
Ronald L Banks:If you could have a conversation with the clothes in your closets, the junk in your garage, the items you throw in the basement and pretend they don’t exist. If you could have a conversation with your hallway closet, if you could have a conversation with your kitchen pantry, what would your stuff say about you? And then comes the most challenging part of this exercise, and that is accepting the truth that comes out and then taking action to let go. I’m going to say it again. It’s accepting the truth that comes out and then taking action to let go.
Ronald L Banks:You know, when I think back to the very beginning of my decluttering journey, I remember realizing how much of my clutter, not all of it, but how much most of it acted as a barrier between me and my true self because during that time of my life, in that chapter of my life, I didn’t really know who I was, beyond my public persona, beyond the mask that I would put on every time I left the house, every time I would hang around my friends, every time I was at track practice or something like that. And so when I think about this time in my life, when I think back to the very beginning of my decluttering journey, it makes me wonder, okay, what was my stuff saying about me and that time in my life? And here’s what I’ve realized.
Ronald L Banks:My stuff was telling me that I was secretly trying to be someone I’m not. It was also saying that I was trying to please other people. My stuff was telling me that I was holding on to the past, and there’s different nuances and levels to this as well. So I was holding on to previous chapters of my life and everything that came with that, but I was also holding on to old goals and old dreams that I once had, that I was that I desired to achieve, but I reached a point in my life where I was no longer motivated to continue down that path. However, I was still holding on to everything that I bought, that I accumulated, that I collected, that supported those goals, because I wasn’t quite ready to let go.
Ronald L Banks:My stuff was also telling me that I was hoping to improve but not actually improving. Have you ever been in that situation where you know you’re trying to motivate yourself to become a better person, to improve your life, to change the way you think, to change the way you do certain things, and you start to buy certain things and consume certain things in the media in hopes of improving yourself, in hopes of changing, maturing, growing as a person on your journey. But you’re not actually moving anywhere. It’s almost like you’re on a hamster wheel. You’re putting in all this effort to improve your life, but you’re not actually improving; a lot of my stuff was telling me that.
Ronald L Banks:My stuff was also telling me that I was moving in too many directions at once. You know, I had a ton of interest, a ton of curiosities, and I still do today; it’s just a little bit more refined. But in that chapter in my life, I had a ton of curiosities and a ton of interest, and I remember trying to explore everything all at the same time. You know, I was writing poetry, which I love, and I still love to do. I was creating YouTube videos. I was sharing my thoughts on the internet. There was a piece of me that wanted to learn how to draw and how to paint, so I was buying canvases and paint brushes, and I remember having multiple sketchbooks that I never fully used, but I was in this phase where I was like, you know what I want to learn. I want to explore that. So I bought, and I accumulated so many things that were pulling me in different directions, but I wasn’t really committed fully to any of them.
Ronald L Banks:My stuff was also telling me that I was confused about what I truly wanted. If you can’t tell, right? That was all over the place. And so realizing this, realizing the truth about what my stuff was telling me again if I was able to have a conversation with the clutter in my life, and that time in my life, during that chapter, at the very beginning of my decluttering journey, if I was able to have a conversation with my stuff, realizing the truth behind what it was telling me helped me let go of the necessary clutter, which then created space for me to grow into who I am and become who I meant to be.
Ronald L Banks:And to take this a step further, you know, I don’t want to drift too far off on a tangent here. But to take this a step further, you know, sometimes you hear these cliche expressions where someone is saying how much something is changing their life. You know, I did this thing, and it absolutely changed my life. Now, you know, you hear that everywhere on the internet nowadays, especially in content creation. And you know, sometimes it makes you wonder how much it is actually true, right, if we’re being honest. But, you know, I don’t want to drift too far into that narrative and become that person. But when I started realizing the truth behind what my stuff was telling me, it really did change my life. It opened my eyes in so many ways, and it gave me an opportunity to change the narrative that my stuff was communicating. It gave me an opportunity to change my environment through the act of decluttering.
Ronald L Banks:And it wasn’t easy, right? I’m not going to pretend like it is. I’m not going to over-hype this conversation as if it was easy, but it was necessary. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. And there were moments during my decluttering journey where I struggled a lot, where I was overwhelmed, I was frustrated, and I was stuck in that frozen zone. But there were also moments where I was filled with confidence, and I bulldozed my way through the clutter in my life.
Ronald L Banks:Now, regardless of which side of this conversation you’re on, whether you’re struggling right now, you’re stuck in the frozen zone, and you’re frustrated with the lack of progress you’re making, or if you’re on the other side, where you’re already making some progress, and you’re just looking for some encouragement, some motivation to keep going. I want to show you how you can clear the clutter in your life, and I want to communicate some very simple steps that you can do, that you can incorporate into what you’re already doing, or that you can use to help you get started. That’s really going to help you clear the clutter in your life but also change the narrative around what your stuff is saying to you, so that way, you can feel like your life, your possessions, reflect your true self and what you truly value in your life, the first step is to choose the best place to start decluttering.
Ronald L Banks:Now, many people, I believe, over-simplify this and assume that they should start decluttering with the easy stuff or in the area that they know they can declutter relatively quickly with minimal effort. And I get it, especially if you’re already feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the current state of your home and how much clutter you have, and you’re in this mental space where you just want to do something to move the needle. I get it. I totally get it. However, I believe it’s worth being intentional with our decision when it comes to choosing where we’re going to start because that can really make a difference and be the difference between building your confidence, building momentum, making progress, and not really experiencing any significant benefits from your efforts. And then you start to question whether or not decluttering is worth it if you should continue down this path and put forth the energy and the effort it takes to remove the things from your life.
Ronald L Banks:And so here’s how I think about choosing the best place to start. And really quickly, I wrote an article about this process, detailing this entire process, and I shared some real life examples in that article as well, so you can see this fleshed out in real time and how it applies to real life, right? So, if you want to read that article, I’ll leave a link to it, but here’s how I think about choosing the best place to start.
Ronald L Banks:Now, you want to choose an area in your home, a project to declutter, that sits in the overlap between low effort and high impact. So low effort refers to a decluttering project or an area in your life where you can declutter it relatively quickly, maybe over a weekend or a few hours in the evening after work, as long as you have a clear action plan, you know exactly what you’re doing, you know exactly the outcome you’re trying to get, and you just put your head down and put in the work, you can knock it out pretty quickly – that’s low effort. High-impact projects are the clutter in your life that is creating significant interference and friction in your daily routine. And you know deep down that if you remove the clutter from this area, it is going to significantly impact and significantly improve the quality of your life, the quality of your daily routine, and how you just operate in your space. Okay?
Ronald L Banks:Now, the reason you want to choose a project that sits in the overlap, that fits a little bit of both, that is, low effort and high impact, is because when a project is low effort, that’s going to help build your confidence, that’s going to help build the momentum, and then you can step back and say, You know what? I can do this. I’m making progress here. That was easy. Let’s keep going. But when that same project is also high-impact, when it is directly tied to your routine, your daily routine in your life, then that is going to give you immediate benefits and show you the benefits of your efforts. So then, when you declutter that area, you can take a step back and say, You know what? This is really improving my life. This is changing how I navigate my space. This is changing how I operate and the quality of my life. I’m really enjoying this. This can really change how I live my life. I’m going to keep going. You want to have a bit of both. You want to build that confidence, build that momentum quickly, but you also want to feel the benefits of what you’re doing immediately, if possible. So you really want to choose a project that sits in that overlap, all right.
Ronald L Banks:Step number two is to set a realistic goal. Now, I firmly believe that every decluttering goal you set should have three elements, regardless of what you’re working on. And here’s an easy way to remember it: S.A.S. or SAS goals, right? So, the first S stands for specific. The A stands for achievable, and the second S stands for scheduled. Let’s walk through these so specific. Here’s the questions I want you to ask yourself. How do I want this space to function in my life so it supports my core values? Now, really quickly, if you have no idea what your core values are, I want to encourage you to download my core values worksheet. It’s completely free. Just go to ronaldlbanks.com/values, and I’ll guide you through the steps to help you identify what your unique core values are. That’s important, but for this first part of your goal, you want to be specific. How do I want this space to function in my life so that it supports my core values?
Ronald L Banks:Decluttering, in general, is more than just dropping stuff off at Goodwill or, your local homeless shelter or the animal shelter. It’s more than just putting signs up around the neighborhood and letting everyone know that you’re having a garage sale next weekend. Before you do any of that, you must get crystal clear on how you want this space to function in your life. And you do that by taking a step back and looking at this space. Look at how you’re currently using this space, and just ask yourself this question: how do I want this space to function? When I declutter this area, when all the clutter in this area is gone, how do I want that space to function in my life?
Ronald L Banks:As an example, let’s say you have a basement that is filled with a whole bunch of stuff, right? Stuff that you just throw in a basement and pretend it doesn’t exist, right? How do you want this basement to function in your life? Do you want your basement to be the storage zone for the seasonal things that you use throughout the year? If you do, okay, that’s one way to use that space. But if you want this space instead to function as a space for your family to hang out, enjoy each other, and create memories. A space where you have friends over and hang out and have a game night every other weekend or so. How do you want that space to function in your life? Get crystal clear on that, and that’s going to help guide your actions then to say, okay, you know what? I’m gonna need to declutter a little bit more than I originally planned so that way I can make sure I can use this space the way I want to use it.
Ronald L Banks:The second part of this goal-setting process is achievable. So you want to ask yourself, can I achieve this functionality? How do I want to use this space? Can I achieve that within the resources that I have available?
Ronald L Banks:Now, in general, and I’m going to say this clearly here, decluttering is not an invitation to renovate or redecorate. Decluttering is not an invitation to renovate or redecorate. The goal of decluttering is to clear the clutter. We can redecorate. We can consider renovating later, not in this moment. Okay, so if we go back to the first example, the basement, if you want your basement to function as your arts and crafts studio, a space where you can just go down there and create. Maybe you like to paint, maybe you like to create videos, whatever it is; if you want your basement to be that space where you can create, that’s how you want that space to function.
Ronald L Banks:Now it’s easy to get sucked into the thought process of how you want that space to look, and you’re starting to design it in your head as you’re sorting through things. And you’re telling yourself how amazing it would be to have built-in shelves on this wall and a workbench over here and, you know, a storage solution for my canvases and paint brushes, etc., whatever it is for you.
Ronald L Banks:It’s easy to get sucked into that mindset as you’re sorting through things if you don’t separate decluttering from renovating and redesigning and redecorating and all of those things, all right? And so, ask yourself, can I achieve the functionality I want in this space within the resources I have? And the answer will almost always be yes. Now, there may be times where you may say no because you need an extra hand to help you move some of the heavy things, or shift some things around, or pick up the things that you’re unable to move on your own. That’s one way to look at this. But in general, you should be able to achieve the functionality you want in this space with the resources you have if you’re focusing solely on the action of clearing the clutter, okay?
Ronald L Banks:And then the second S of this SAS process is scheduled, and this is very simple. All I want you to do is put a date on your calendar for when you’re going to start decluttering this project or working on this area you’re choosing to start in or that you’re currently working on. Put a date on your calendar. When you think about your life, and when I think about my life, my wife and I have a shared calendar that we use, and we also have multiple calendars within that shared calendar for the different aspects of our life and the different aspects of my business, so she can see when I’m working on certain things when I’m not. So we can kind of coordinate as a family and figure out what we’re doing. I digress.
Ronald L Banks:But when you think about your life and your calendar, usually, most people put just about everything on their calendar. You know their task for the day or scheduled events, extracurriculars for the kids, meetings that they want to make sure they attend. You put these things on your calendar – vacation, right? You put these things on your calendar so you don’t forget them, so you don’t overlook when they’re supposed to happen. And you can make sure you’re where you’re supposed to be when you need to be there, right? Why wouldn’t we treat decluttering the exact same way, the projects we want to work on the exact same way. Put that decluttering project on your calendar, pick a date that you’re going to start, commit to a date, and when that date comes, start working on that project.
Ronald L Banks:The third step here is to start letting go. But the keyword that I want you to focus on is slowly. All right. The aim of decluttering is not to strip away your sense of expression or personality from your life or your home. And whenever you rush the letting go process, you run the risk of this happening, and again, I get it. You’re already feeling overwhelmed. You’re frustrated with the current state of your home and how much clutter you have, and you’re in that mindset where you just want to do something to move the needle. I get it. Trust me, I get it. I was exactly in that same mindset, exactly in that same space, emotionally, at the beginning of my journey as well. But you want to slow down, and I encourage you to instead view decluttering as an opportunity to create space for the things that matter to be seen, appreciated, and used by you.
Ronald L Banks:Decluttering is about creating your life, not stripping away things out of your life, stripping away the personality, stripping away your self-expression. It’s about creating and creating space for the things that matter to be seen, used, and appreciated by you, and that means slowing down, being intentional, and making sure you’re making decisions for yourself and not for someone else. And it’s also about finding a rhythm and a cadence that you’re comfortable with.
Ronald L Banks:Maybe you declutter once a week. Every Saturday, you work a little bit at a time on that project, or if you have more time, maybe you work two to three times a week on that project. It doesn’t matter. Everyone’s journey is gonna be unique to them, but find a rhythm and a cadence that you’re comfortable with. Slow down, be intentional, and remember, it’s about creating, not stripping things away.
Ronald L Banks:Here’s the takeaway that I want you to grasp from all of this information I just shared with you, and I know it’s a lot, right? I know it’s a lot. As you embark on your decluttering journey, I just want you to ask yourself a very simple question: what would my stuff say about me? And again, this is very similar to the idea of judging a person by the company they keep. Show me who you hang around, and I’ll tell you who you are. Show me how you spend your money, how you spend your time, the type of things you allow to occupy your space, your environment. Show me that, and I can pretty much tell you who you are, what you value, and the things you find important.
Ronald L Banks:And see, when you ask this question, this question is going to guide you to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship with your possessions and with yourself. And when you confront the stories your belongings tell, that is going to help you clear a path that leads to personal growth, that leads to a more authentic life, that leads to a life filled with less clutter, that leads to a more intentional life, that leads to you prioritizing your core values. Right?
Ronald L Banks:Now, you’re probably wondering, you know, this is great, Ron, this is very inspirational. Great conversation. This was helpful for me. You’re probably thinking that, but you’re also probably thinking, okay, well, what would your stuff say about you today? How would you answer that question? Tell me that.
Ronald L Banks:So, what would my stuff say about me?
Ronald L Banks:You know, I’ve pondered this question for a while because a lot has changed since the very beginning of my decluttering journey. A lot has changed since I first started removing things from my life. But here’s where I’m at today and what I believe about my stuff — the story my stuff tells.
Ronald L Banks:The first thing is secure and confident in who I am. I’m no longer trying to please other people with my possessions, with the things that I buy. I’m no longer projecting a public persona that is different from who I am behind closed doors. I’m no longer pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m no longer pulling myself in different directions. I’m prioritizing my core values, I’m prioritizing things I care about, and I’m leaning into that. I’m trusting that process, right?
Ronald L Banks:One of my core values, I’ll give you this insight here. One of my core values is integrity. And for me, everything I’m doing in my life must align with integrity. It must align with who I am as a person. And this is why I say that my environment, my things, the story that it would tell is that I am secure and confident in who I am, because everything in my environment reflects who I am and what I value.
Ronald L Banks:The second thing that I wrote down here is improving and evolving. You know, I’m still learning on my own journey. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have everything figured out. I’m still growing and learning with you on this journey. And so I’m continuing to evolve and improve. Everything in my space will tell you that I’m evolving and improving and that I believe that every day we live on this earth is an opportunity to learn something new and an opportunity to grow as individuals.
Ronald L Banks:And so when you look at my space today, you will see that I’m investing in my craft, the things that I value, the things that I find important, cameras, lights, microphones, different tech gadgets that help me do what I’m doing here, creating content, sharing my insights with other people, helping people grow on this journey the exact same way that I’m growing on my own journey. But at the same time, I’m still leaving space. I’m still leaving room for me to continue to grow, to continue to evolve, and allowing my space to refine as that growth happens.
Ronald L Banks:Now, the last thing that I wrote down here is the word happy, and I wrote that down simply because I feel like I’m at peace. I’m projecting my true self. I’m living in alignment with my core values. You know, I received a comment on one of my recent YouTube videos that I found very interesting. I believe that in that video, I showed some old clips of myself and some old footage of me at the very beginning of my decluttering journey. And the person that left this comment mentioned something about how the change in my demeanor, my presence between now and then is amazing. And I think the comment said something along the effects of how I look more alive and full of vigor now than I did then, which is interesting, but to me, I’m just happy.
Ronald L Banks:I hope this inspires you to look within my friend and start questioning what your stuff is saying about you, and then accepting the truth that comes out and then taking action to change it. Keep growing your journey. Remember to always stay true to you and I’ll see you in the next one. Peace!