Broadcasting from the Hip Hop Weekly Studios. I'd like to welcome you to another episode of Civic Cipher, where our mission is to foster allyship, empathy and understanding. I'm your host, ramses.
Job, he is rams' Jah, I am q Ward. You are tuned in the civic cycle.
Indeed you are, and we have a show that is a bit of a mixed bag for you today.
There is one part of the show that we are looking forward to sharing with you, and that is, you know, some happier headlines, some things that have been in the news that feel like maybe there's.
Indeed that moral arc of the universe that bends toward justice. That you know, not everything is doom and gloom when it comes to black life in America, and I think it's important for us to acknowledge moments like this when they happen. On this show.
Obviously, we deal with a lot of the tragedies that all our community and adjacent and communities of our marginalized brothers and sisters that are on this journey with us.
But every so often we get a story here or there that suggests that, you know, maybe people aren't so bad after all, and things aren't so bad, and so I'm really excited to share a few of the headlines. We're able to put a few of them together and just kind of go into details. That doesn't mean that the stories behind the headlines aren't grim, but again, around here, a lot of times we don't get the happy conclusion or the silver lining, or you know, some sort of
completion that is satisfactory. And so we're excited to share that today. And then the other part of the show is going to be and how do you say it? An audible? Is that the right word?
Listen, bro I wish I could give you the proper articulations like aotball or annunciation.
Well it seems like a word, but yeah, all right, Well, stay tuned. You'll find out in the first part of the show that we are going to discuss some ebony excellence show. I think we shall. So Today's Ebony Excellence is sponsored by Major Threads for innovative fashionable sportswear checkmajorthreads dot com. Because of them, we can dot Com is the source for Today's Ebony Excellence. This came from QE.
He sent it over there as a beautiful little girl who is taking Broadway by storm with her black afropuffs and her beautiful smile. I'll share. In the dazzling world of Broadway, the dreams of one young actress are taking center stage. Nia Thompson, at the tender age of twelve, has secured her place in the limelight as the new Young Nala in the iconic production of The Lion King. Nia's passion for the stage ignited during a pivotal moment
in her childhood. Her mother recalls quote, I took Nia to see Keki Palmer in her historic performance as the first Black Disney princess on Broadway in Cinderella. Representation matters, y'all, absolutely all right. Nia's love for The Lion King blossomed on her eighth birthday when she set foot in the Minskoff Theater for the first time. A backstage tour guided by the late Sharon Lynn Williams, a seven year ensemble member,
became a pivotal moment. When asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, Nia confidently, confidently declared, I want to be in The Lion King. Four years later, on the eve of her twelfth birthday, Nia made her Broadway debut as Young Nalla. Ania joins a lineage of talented women who have portrayed Young Naala over the years, cause I think it's Kowana s Marie, the actress who originated the role of Young Naala on Broadway in The Lion King's nineteen ninety seven debut, shared her best wishes
for Nya with botwc quote. I've seen many young talented girls fill the shoes of young Nala on Broadway, and each and every one of them kills it, bringing their own unique spin. I have no doubts that this will be any different. Wishing Nia all the best. All right, So here is my audit audible audible. There it is. There we go. I'm thinking audio. So that's like an audio thing I found you got you, okay, appreciate you man. Audible audible.
Okay.
We came in the studio today and you know, we had our show prepared, we knew what we were going to talk about, and Q shared a story with me and I cut them off as I do, and I says, no, that belongs on the radio. So I don't even need to give this any any background. The floor is yours. Cue.
So in the in the name of an audible rams is holding true to me having no idea what he w talking about it till right now. And this one is a little more difficult for me than most because it hits a little closer to home than usual, as close to home as it can, as close to home as possible. Actually, So if you guys follow me on social media or if you know me personally, the love that I have for my children is probably the most obvious thing.
About me and my life.
And years ago, when we started on this journey, I would have questions about, you know, at what point do our beautiful children turn into something else for everyone else? Because I remember the first time I posted a picture of my son, and subsequently, every time I post a picture of my kids, the reaction is always, you know, hard eye emojis and sunshine and butterflies and rainbows, crowns
and lightning boats and all kind of incredible things. But I know, just from growing up black in this country, that that's not something that lasts forever. No matter how beautiful we think our children are, Eventually there comes a time where the world stops seeing them that way. And I prayed that that would be years from now. I prayed that that would be a lot of years from now. Except when my first grader got home from school today.
As I'm rushing to get to the studio, his mother told me, Hey, we need to talk, and I'm like, listen, we can talk later. I got to get to work, and instead of trying to explain to me why we needed to talk so urgently, she just told me, your son got kicked and called an effing inward in school today.
He's six years old.
Okay, so you're right, we need to talk and I can be late to work because damn not today, not already, not before he even knows what that word means. And I guess I'm thankful that he doesn't all the way no right, because he got kicked and called a bad word is how he feels now, sitting at home waiting for me to come home and further dive into his
experience today. But he's six, And when we get off of the show today, I'm going to post some pictures of my beautiful kids so I can smile and so I can be happy, and so people can kind of get an idea of all you have to do to be called that word is just be him and look like him.
That's it.
He's on the receiving end of punches and kicks while being called this name. That's a hate crime, by the way, And I'm so much more upset by the language than the physicality. Ironically, to the tribe, to the community, to the team, to everybody that listens to the show, I have no idea what my experience is going to be
like at his school tomorrow. I am not proud of how not in control I am of my emotions, and the best case scenario I go to the school and the principle and the parent of the other kids say, hey, this was awful. The kid's going to be expelled and
we're sorry. Best case scenario, right, Except we live in the United States of America, where people have he Man body Trump flags outside of their houses, and it doesn't tend to go that way for us, especially in cases like this, because this other kid has to be seven or eight, so not much older, and had to learn that language and feel that way based on something It can't be based on any experiences the kid has had, so I'm guessing it's something that was taught by and
learn from the kid's parents.
And it's important to point out that the kid that did this to your son was not black.
Correct, So yeah, you guys, I don't I don't know what this is going to be like tomorrow. I have to show up as the most polished, most polite, most professional, most calm version of myself because any anger or emotion or aggression on my side is going to be seen as unwarranted and exactly what they think we are, right, we are the We are the aggressive mean culture, the aggressive mean people, the violent criminal people. So I have to show up for my son, who was the victim
two times here, you know, insulted, assaulted, disrespected. I have to show up as his dad and his protector, humbly and calm and respectable and kind and patient. The parent of the other kid gets to show up however he feels like, and I get to show up in a parking lot.
Yeah.
I don't know what the other side of this conversation is going to look like. But it is a conversation that I was not prepared to have with my kid, yet I wanted him. And this is a conversation that I've had with every father in my life about the win. Yeah, you and I just talked about it, and they've all said to me, what I'm talking about to a man. Let him be a kid first, before he has to be a black kid.
Let him enjoy his childhood.
Let him not have to deal with such heavy topics until he has to. And I always thought he wouldn't have to until there was at least a teen on the other side of his age.
My son is six years.
Old, and after this show, I have to go home and explain to him what it means to be called an effing in word, and then teach him that he's not to react to it, that words don't hurt and he's not that, and to keep his composure and somehow compromise by flexing or sub merging or hiding his dignity. You cannot respond to that the way that you want to.
Son.
Now that I've made you aware of what that means, you now have to pretend it doesn't mean anything when someone says it to you. You now have to be the better version of a child and interactions like this, and who knows that the school will even be as offended as I am. So then what you know what I mean? Do I do? I take my kid out of this school where he's a four point zero student in both languages. By the way, let me flex for my kid. He's in a dual language emerging school. He's
a four point of student in English and Spanish. Do I take him out of this school to protect him if they won't? Right here, am I playing the victim because I'm so upset about what my son had to go through today. If his parents stand on what their kids said to my kid, what other choice do you? Why just keep a smile on my face and remain calm and then interaction with them, Like there's a lot of examples that I have to be for my son in real time in a situation that I've never been in.
And this is from someone whose mother is from the Deep South, making Georgia Bibb County to be specific. So half of my childhood was spent in the Deep South. I've never been called an effing inward in my forties. Now my kid is six and that's his experience already. So from here, I honestly don't know, you guys, if you could send me some messages up and heard maybe some advice. I have no idea idea how to show up for him at his school tomorrow because his dad,
as much as I wish I was. I am not good with my emotions right, So I'm gonna, you know, put a collared shirt on, and again I'm going to try to show up as the best version of myself.
Talk with your high voice, you know what I mean.
And I also have to understand that Grayson is watching me. He's paying attention to how I'm going to handle this situation. So I have to be the right example for him. But it's the right example always to be the one who shrinks a little bit to make sure everyone else is comfortable while they disrespect, while they demean, while they tear you down, like this is very very This is new territory for me, y'all, and I do not know how how I'm supposed to handle this?
Can I can I add something you might remember? This cue is one of our first episodes that we ever did Civic Cipher, and we responded to a listener saying, like, why do black people get so upset when you hear the N word? Can't you just cause it to mean nothing? Right?
And I think that what you've done right now is kind of given us a glimpse into what the why behind that, But also you've given us a glimpse into the strength of black people in this country because there's been, you know, a time when there were no repercussions for not even just calling black people out of their name. But you could do whatever you want, strength someone up
in a tree, you set them on fire, whatever. If you could overpower a black person, then you know, yours to do what you wanted with, provided that they weren't someone else's property. So there's something that I think that we need to establish. Yes, people deserve to be treated fairly, people deserves equal access, blah blah blah, all those sorts of things. There's an element that I think gets overlooked and it's very important, and once I say it, I
know that our listeners will appreciate it. But people deserve dignity. When you deny someone their dignity, it's something that's almost foundational to the human experience, right, we deserve dignity. And to reflect back on our ancestors in this country who lived they were born, lived short lives, and died without a modicum of dignity, I think shows the strength of those people the well from which we sprung. But you know, with time comes progress. As we've learned throughout the all
of humanity. With time comes progress. So sorry, conservatives, this is how it goes. It's inevitable. You know, we change, we grow. Our tendency is not to regress overall. And with the change and with the growth comes the capacity for black people in this country to have the human component to our experience known as dignity. Right, And that
word flies in the face of that dignity. That word is a word that people who look like me and you and young Grayson often heard as the last word they heard in their lifetime as their life was being left out of existence. That word is upsetting on a cellular level. And if doctor iya Afo was here, she could articulate the scientific basis of that statement better than I could. But we indeed have a show together where
she discusses generational trauma. And for people that still push back against this, I say simply, it is unkind and impolite. And if you can't understand at least that, then we're never going to have a conversation based in fellowship and growth.
As fathers of young black men, young black boys, in the cases of our your youngest and my oldest, what is the lesson here?
Right?
Like we watched a mo that a friend of ours wrote and directed called American Skin. And in this movie, this father, while teaching his son to be a respected, respectable, kind, intelligent, proud young man, has to simultaneously teach him to shrink and deny himself dignity and allow himself to be mistreated and disrespected in cases where his life could be put into danger by those who would love to instigate that type of interaction from him by using language like effing inward.
We have to simultaneously teach them to make it home to us by letting these things slide, while also trying to teach them that they're kings and should be respected. And like, how do we walk this typewrote And I'm not just talking to Ramses, I'm talking to our listeners and I'm talking to those of you that are joining us in a live as well. How does this duality? Because I had this conversation when Gray was first born again with every father that I knew, When do I
have this conversation? When should this start? How do I prepare for it? And like I said to a man, let your kid be a kid first, I thought I'd be able to do so This is first grade. This is not junior high school. This is okay, the first time where he's kind of got some autonomy where he spends the whole day away from me. He didn't get through year one before he comes home with this. And
again he came home with this. The school didn't call me, This wasn't from a teacher or a counselor or a principal. He brought this story home. So, as you could imagine, I'm a little bit more annoyed that the first time I'm hearing of this is him coming home after school. So again, I get to the school tomorrow and I have to understand how my son was assaulted, how he was kicked and punched before being called an effing in word, and no one reached out to me.
How does no one know this?
And again I have to show up and hope that the best case scenario, the parents of the other kid and the principle simply apologize, the kid gets expelled, and I get to just.
Come home.
An ex hill. But we all know there are so many different ways that this interaction can go tomorrow that I won't even pretend that I'm prepared for. So please, you guys, whatever you can give me positive vibes, I need it.
I think that what you're doing is is illuminating the duality of the black experience, because both of the things that you're discussing are true. There is a version of our existence that absolutely demands and insists that we have our dignity, we have our respect, that we are treated equitably, et cetera. And then there's a part of us that exists. Both parts are taught to us. Hence the duality that
I mentioned. There's a part of us that recognizes that we are in the middle of a tough fight and sometimes you got to know when to survive, you know.
And so I recognize how you have to explain what the word means to a six year old at the same time explaining that he is not that despite being called that, perhaps even explain how we have co opted a version of that word for ourselves as a way of expressing fellowship, brotherhood, endearment, and on top of that, explaining to him that while it is absolutely insulting from the wrong set of lips, there are instances where he may have to stand up for himself and affirm his
humanity beyond the definition of that word, and there are instances when you may have to survive and come home to his father.
It's a complicated conversation to have with a six year old. By the way, my son is six. And after this I will be posting some pictures of my beautiful kid because I'm proud of him and love and adore him. And I want you to see what an effing inward looks like two people who have just determined that that's what we are. Yeah, I'm not okay on this one, y'all. I won't even pretend to be.
Well, I got you