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Cinephobe

Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan & Anthony Mayes
Welcome to Cinephobe: The Podcast where Zach Harper, Amin Elhassan and Anthony Mayes review movies that are poorly rated on Rotten Tomatoes, and try to ascertain whether or not those movies are accurately poorly rated, or maybe just didn’t get a fair shake. Cinephobe! Wherever you get Podcasts!
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Episodes

Cinephobe Ep 45: Catwoman

Zach, Amin and Mayes take a trip to CGI city for the 2004 female empowerment saga that put Halle Berry in a leather body suit to find her true calling. Another one name director (Pitof), another Cinephobe classic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aug 05, 20201 hr 38 min

Cinephobe Ep 44: A Million Ways to Die in the West

Zach, Amin and Mayes take a trip to the moustachery in this 2014 comedy that everyone agrees isn't as good as Blazing Saddles (one of the foremost classic comedies of all time). This movie takes several pages out of Amin's dream journal and if you listen, we'll show you a real dollar bill for the first time in your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jul 29, 20201 hr 24 min

Cinephobe Ep 43: The Adventures of Pluto Nash

Zach, Amin and Mayes blast off for the 2002 futuristic moon caper comedy starring Eddie Murphy as a legendary rill hopper. Pluto is just your run of the mill ex con small business owner battling gentrification by local government in bed with corrupt capitalist casinos all while crusading for android rights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jul 22, 20201 hr 24 min

Cinephobe Ep 42: Ghost Rider Part 2

Zach, Amin and Mayes are the only ones that can walk between both worlds and have returned with the scroll of San Venganza to finish off Blackheart and his elemental demons once and for all. Listen closely as Amin's soul gradually leaves his body down the stretch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jul 15, 202059 min

Cinephobe Ep 42: Ghost Rider Part 1

Zach, Amin and Mayes are back in the Cage yet again having sold their souls for this 2007 film that launched the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Fill your martini glass with jelly beans and blast the Carpenters, we're jumping five blackhawk helicopters cuz our dad thought it would be cool. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jul 08, 20201 hr 8 min

Cinephobe Ep 41: Tango & Cash (with Stugotz)

Zach, Amin and Mayes hit the showers for this 1989 buddy cop classic and are joined by Cinephobe's first guest, Stugotz of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. We make billion dollar drug busts and margin calls while nattily attired in three piece Armani suits before making a prison break in the pouring rain. Listen to learn why Stugotz has this movie in his top 5 of all time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jul 01, 20201 hr 41 min

Cinephobe Ep 40: Along Came Polly

Zach, Amin and Mayes are for scuba in this romantic comedy as a risk averse Ben Stiller tackles dating advice, ethnic food, blind ferrets, throw pillows, and horrendous pick up basketball in his pursuit of Jennifer Aniston. Yes, this is the podcast from crocodile tears. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 29, 20201 hr 16 min

Cinephobe Ep 39: I Am Wrath

Zach, Amin and Mayes travel to Columbus, Ohio for a gritty, hard hitting, action movie starring Cinephobe Legend John Travolta. Pitbull's best friend is slamming Cleveland Reserve bourbon, picking up smoking again, getting tattoos, and reconnecting with his old partner to seek vengeance because the bible told him to, or something. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 29, 20201 hr 24 min

Cinephobe Ep 38: Teen Witch

Zach, Amin and Mayes double dip with another horny 80s teen supernatural comedy. An alleged cult classic (?) that features dick soliloquies, barbershop rap groups, predatory psychics, mysterious disappearances and a little brother with an undiagnosed eating disorder leads to yet another unforgettable podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 29, 20201 hr 20 min

Cinephobe Ep 37: Teen Wolf Too

Zach, Amin and Mayes throw in the proverbial towel with the horniest Cinephobe movie to date. Jason Bateman's debut comes in a classic coming of age college romp, complete with Trans Am Douchebags, southern temptresses, and flying bowls of pudding. This podcast is a dog. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 29, 20201 hr 18 min

Cinephobe Ep 36: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

The movie they didn't want us to see led to the podcast you just can't miss. Zach, Amin and Mayes take a jaunt north of the border to scenic Vancouver, leisurely ride around on motorcycles, take an impromptu trip to the aquarium, and blow up the entire train depot in pursuit of a missing child who holds the key to important nano technology. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 29, 20201 hr 23 min

Cinephobe Ep 35: Cop Out

Zach, Amin and Mayes turn in their guns and badges for another odd couple cop comedy that serves as indie darling Kevin Smith's first and only sell out. Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan encounter a mastermind child car thief, a baseball obsessed drug dealer, and a parkour expert who dabbles in tasering, all while suspended, in order to pay for Bruce's daughter's wedding. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 26, 20201 hr 14 min

Cinephobe Ep 34: Coffee & Kareem

Zach, Amin and Mayes unite to discuss the odd couple partnership between a foul mouthed youth and a piece of Wonderbread in a cop's uniform, but still find plenty of time to tackle important subjects like Octavia Spencer's career and Richard Gere's fertility. (Neither Spencer nor Gere appear in this movie) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 26, 20201 hr 13 min

Cinephobe Ep 33: Scary Movie 3

Zach, Amin and Mayes open a time capsule chock full of very specific references from 2003 disguised as a parody film. We tackle semantic arguments, when a reference is just straight up theft, and announce the top 5 worst child actors in Cinephobe history. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 26, 20201 hr 12 min

Cinephobe Ep 32: Primal

Zach, Amin and Mayes get back in the Cage, quite literally this time, as they take an elusive white jaguar back to America in the hopes of turning it into a house on Pine Lake. Dumb kids, baby monkeys and scurvy engineers might try to stop us, but they'll never take our whiskey and cigars. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 26, 20201 hr 17 min

Cinephobe Ep 31: Hall Pass

Zach, Amin and Mayes are given an idea by Joy Behar to take one week off from their marriage to truly awful movies. They learned club analysis from Coakley, ate Gary's special brownies, and entertained Hog Head's hypotheticals, but in the end they returned to Cinephobe changed men. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 26, 20201 hr 24 min

Cinephobe Ep 30: Spenser Confidential

Zach, Amin and Mayes have just been released from prison after 5 years and despite people telling them not to, they just can't help but review this Mark Wahlberg / Peter Berg movie. Spoiler Alert: This movie is set in Boston. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 28 min

Cinephobe April Fools: The Departed

This week on Cinephile, Adnan revisits the film that finally earned Martin Scorcese his elusive academy award for directing. Does the electric ensemble cast present a strong enough argument to join Marty's Mount Rushmore? You'll have to listen to find out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 14 min

Cinephobe Ep 29: Double Impact Part 2

Zach, Amin and Mayes return to Hong Kong for the thrilling conclusion of Double Impact. That's right, there's two of them, so put down that bottle of whiskey, just chill out and listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 202057 min

Cinephobe Ep 29: Double Impact Part 1

Zach, Amin and Mayes are welcomed to Hong Kong with the 1991 action classic starring the Muscles from Brussels himself twin brothers seeking revenge on the men that killed their parents. They have the same accent but one of them only wears pastels and the other never puts out his cigar, so that's how you know they're different. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 202058 min

Cinephobe Ep 28: Problem Child

Zach, Amin and Mayes navigate the anti liberal mishegas and overt sexuality of this 1990 kids movie smash hit. We discuss little league play by play announcers, the magical talents of John Ritter, and Amin still wants to do Cinephobe on a train. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 17 min

Cinephobe Ep 27: Wild Wild West

Zach, Amin and Mayes are going straight...to...the wild wild west to cross dress, engage in racist roast battles, battle enormous mechanical spiders, and save the United States with the 1997 steampunk western. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 21 min

Cinephobe Ep 26: The Fanatic

Zach, Amin and Mayes get their diamond rhinestone black leather vests out for Hunter Dunbar to autograph in a movie starring John Travolta, who's essentially a Cinephobe co-host at this point, and the film auteur Fred Durst. We've got scooter sequences, homages to Misery and Reservoir Dogs, and one of Amin's best ever connections to a classic film. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 19 min

Cinephobe Ep 25: Gotti

Zach, Amin and Mayes put on John Gotti's old suits, and they can still smell the cologne. This disastrous film starring John Travolta and directed by E from Entourage certainly delivers when it comes to incoherence and Pitbull songs. Travolta is making his case to be the Cinephobe poster boy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 5 min

Cinephobe Ep 24: Jade

Zach, Amin and Mayes dive back into the Eszterhas universe as a couple of lawyers acting like cops on the hunt for a mysterious killer known only as Jade. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 8 min

Cinephobe Ep 23: Theodore Rex

Zach, Amin and Mayes watch a movie selected by the fans in the Discord, and boy was it a mistake to give the people the power. We investigate dinosaur and aviary anatomy, whether the term "soft skin" is racist, and dive deep into the off camera ramifications that caused Oscar winning actress Whoopi Goldberg to appear in this straight to video disaster. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 18 min

Cinephobe Ep 22: Gigli

Zach, Amin and Mayes continue to spiral deeper and deeper into the dregs of Hollywood to discuss the movie that either caused or was caused by the celebrity couple Bennifer (that's Jennifer Lopez not Jennifer Aniston). We speculate on the lives of Nick Saban look-alikes, debate Al Pacino's merits as a yeller, and question what this podcast is even about anymore. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 21 min

Cinephobe Ep 21: 6 Underground

Zach, Amin and Mayes are just a couple of ghosts, free to podcast about any movie they choose! And they chose the $150 million dollar Michael Bay Netflix epic that starts with a 20 minute car chase sequence. Assemble your team and jet set around the world to get revenge on the made up dictator that ruined your charity photo op. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 25, 20201 hr 13 min

Cinephobe Ep 20: Fred Claus

Zach, Amin and Mayes travel to the north pole for a holly jolly Christmas edition of Cinephobe. We're repossessing Plasma TVs and buying real estate from Survivor winners in order to reconnect with our estranged family and save Santa's business! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 24, 20201 hr 15 min

Cinephobe Ep 19: Battlefield Earth

Zach, Amin and Mayes strap in to the learning machine for one of their worst movies yet. In the year 3000, man-animals last hope is a dreadlocked white man named Jonny Goodboy in the battle against nine foot tall disgusting middle managers on the crap filled factory known as Earth. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jun 24, 20201 hr 8 min
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