There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt, the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed at a quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence. Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created the audio collapsed in on itself, rendering all of their civilization, including technology, null and void. Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and
changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on cinema syll. 10 years. Man 10. 10 years. 10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years. 10. 10 years. 10 years. What is the most likely way humanity will be wiped out? Maybe it's something. Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because of you. And if this is the case, you. Wouldn'T have any control over it. The global temperature rise underscores a chilling reality. Our planet is trying to tell us something, but we don't seem
to be listening. A recent study has suggested that one. Third of annual deaths due to heat are directly related to global warming. On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light, which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything on fire in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing effect of the wind and all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting more fires on top of the radiation if
they happen to have survived poisoning people to death. On top of all that, each one of these fires creates a mega fire that is a hundred or more square miles. Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers. On Cinema PsyOps a breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place. Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed, giving us the tools to eventually gain
control over biology. Solving the deadliest diseases while also creating viruses more dangerous than nuclear bombs, able to devastate humanity. It's man returning to the most primal, violent state as people fight over the tiny resources that remain. What if the world we live in. Is just a dream or a simulation? Whether it's a dream or some advanced. Computer game you are playing right now. When it ends, you would be what causes the end of the world. Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming
or playing this game of life. Because when you wake up or unplug. There'S a chance the rest of us. Will be blaked out of existence. Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema syn. 10 years. 10 years. Hello, hello and welcome to the 495th consecutive week of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host, Court, the guy that's super Stoked to be closing out the Daimajin
series with Daimajin Strikes again. And joining me in the joy of listening to those annoying fucking kids make a ton of fucking noise and winking us all wish they were dead. As my co host, Matt, kill all the children. Wait, what? I'm sorry, did I say that? Yeah. So is that loud? Yeah. These kids are so goddamn annoying. I celebrated bad things happening to them while watch in my notes. Yeah, I'm just saying it. Yeah, Listen, it's almost as bad as my
next week's movie when she yells Kong all the time. Almost made me want to scratch my ears out. This is. This is worse. Very grating, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll. We'll talk about. Maybe we will. We'll talk about how grating her voice was, but this is terrible. This is. Yes. So we have literally clipped almost all of the dialogue. Like I did the last Time Machine movie I covered. Only this time I recorded every fucking noise those children make because if I had to sit through it, so does the
rest of you. God damn, you are a cold blooded son of a bitch. You know what? Send Imagine after me for doing it to you too. But everybody. Yeah, I'm going to have to. Yeah, it's going to happen. I will say, though, it's worth the wait, folks, this movie's worth it. You just. You got to get through it. And then. Yeah, it's worth it. We'll just. We won't beat around the bush about that at all. It's worth it. It'll happen. Yeah, we just have to be patient. I'm ready to go. Let's do
it. All right, So I have 21 fucking clips because like I said, every, pretty much every bit of dialogue is. Is recorded. There's one or two lines of dialogue that I did not record. So not all of them are going to be super long. But there's a lot of clips to get through, folks. There's a lot of movie to get through and unfortunately, most of it is a bunch of whiny, annoying kids. But it's worth it, I promise.
It's. It is what it is. All right, so this week for the Pirate radio edit like we've been doing all along, all signs songs from 1966, the year that Dimajin Strikes Again was released. Up first is the band the Music Machine with the song Talk Talk immediately following this on the Pirate Radio. Eduard, you have once again defied Legion podcast. Sorry, had something in my throat. Hey, Matt in court. Listen up, folks. Yeah, yeah, so look you're new to the network. I've left my messages.
You've gotten emails, some of them late at night. I apologize for that. Are we even checking that box anymore? Yes, all the time. Dan, really? Let the man speak. He's gonna just look in. Maybe I drew first blood calling you garbage people. That did hurt, however truthful it was. Pull up your big boy podcaster pants. It's the fact that this show continues to wallow in the sewage of the podcasting pool. It's warm. That's who we are, though. It's friendly to us. I mean,
have you looked at the movies you're covering? We watch them both. They're just as bad as the show. I completely agree. I'm ruined. People love the show. We're doing really good. Look, you're right, and that is as confounding a thing as I have ever come across, because people do, in fact, seem to be responding to the show. Now, it could be some rubber necking, let's see them drag the bodies from the wreckage kind of
thing. Love a good accident. I can't make that judgment. I don't know the psychology of all this, but I can tell you the numbers have been good. Yeah, I thought you would be happy about that. Why are you more upset with us? I just can't believe that something like this kind of show, a show that rebels in grind House in a way that is almost soft Mark. A show, I might add, that Duncan McLean has been on at least two times. Wait, is that what it is, buddy? You want to be on the show? Hey, you okay,
champ? Do you need to have a talk? You can be on the show, but we didn't think you'd want to. Man, we totally would love to have you on the show. I mean, gosh, you guys, I just listened to the show, and I enjoy it so much and never even asked. We were a little intimidated by you, especially after the garbage people thing. Buddy, you could totally be on the show. Why don't we grab our baseball
mitts and we'll go out back and throw the ball around, buddy. Then we'll have some hot chocolate, and you can pick out a movie, and we'll talk about any movie you want. Okay? We could even have ice cream. Yeah. And marshmallows in the hot chocolate. Hey, Phyllis, you mean it? Absolutely. Why don't we go throw a ball around in the backyard for a little. Bit, and then we'll come back and. Take care of the movie? All right. Is it okay if we whistle when we go? Oh, we're going to
whistle. All right. All the way. I prefer to whistle in the dark myself, but we can whistle wherever. Wherever. I love that. Can't seem to talk about the things that bother me. That seems to be the thing that people have against me. Oh, boy, we all good shit. Yeah. Ye. Yeah. I really dig a lot of that garage rock that came around in the 60s where there was just these one hit wonders. I've been playing that stuff all along.
Most of the songs that we're gonna be hearing from the 60s is gonna be coming from the Nuggets, the hidden artifacts box set that was put out ages ago. So just if anybody's, you know, interested in a lot of that music, that's where you can get it. Although the kids would probably just search it for Apple music by name nowadays or whatever. Yeah, all those get off our lawn. Or maybe Spotify. I don't know who buys it? Get off our lawn kids. Who buys box sets of CDs anymore but old people
like us? Yeah, all right, enough. Goddamn kids. Gotta get off our lawn. Yeah. Let's talk about something that's even older than us. Daimajin strikes again. All right, Broken up into basically about 30 minute blocks of time. So the film opens on the first 30 minutes with a tremendous storm. And we see the hand of Daimajne wave into frame and the monsoon conditions that we are seeing immediately start uprooting trees that then crash into homes
and completely destroy them. That storm then changes into an arctic, arctic snow blast with the wave of Daimajeen's arm causing an avalanche that crushes another home. We then get some dialogue. So that is our first. Oh no. Majin must be in rage again. Immediately after this, that avalanche buries that couple and their child alive in the rubble of their own home. And the snow. Man, that was really fucking brutal. Yeah. And then we see those boots of Daimajeen that were made to
walk all over you. Step into frame as the horrific snowstorm blizzard worsens around him. One could assume he is having a bit of a vengeful God moment here as the stomp seems to have destroyed a levee or perhaps a dam that begins to flood an area. And the people lament their suffering in our second. Hurry. Come on, hurry. The mountain God must be angry. With that prayer. Dine appears and wipes his arms in front of himself, and the mountains then crumble into a rock slide of epic
proportions. The model work and the destruction of the mountain and the village is pretty fucking incredible. We. Yeah, that's Pretty solid scene right there. We even see buildings collapse in front of frightened villagers. With forced perspective. The villagers pray and lament more in our. Oh no. He's coming. He's hungry. It must be his curse. It is cursed. The girl is angry. Blizzards, avalanches,
floods, droughts, earthquakes. All these disasters were believed to be the work of Majin, the mountain God. Werner Herzog Guest starring in this film for some reason, well, that going. He sees in front of him the futility of life and breathing in its own. And holds his breath as Daimajin steps forward to crush him with his vengeful boots Made for walking. All over you. It is a classic tale of woe. Many say these boots are made for walking.
Oh God, her song is awesome. I need to stop talking shit. And that's just what they'll do. The third clip ends and we cut to a dude hiking it through a forest. Then cut from that. Two townsfolk toiling away in our fourth clip. I'm starving. Don't be a crybaby. We have to finish before our brothers come back. He's right. We really should try and get ready for the winter so that we can celebrate the New Year. Okay then. I'll work some more. It's Sanpei. Come on. Help. San. Pei. Brother.
What happened? Hey. You're the only one returned. What about the others? They were all taken to Hell's Valley on the other side. On the other side? We were felling trees in the forest. Suddenly, Lord Arakawa's men swarmed in and took all of us away. He's making us build a big structure in Hell's Valley. A big struct. What is that for? I don't know. We were forced to work day and night every day. I barely got away alive from there to report it to our own Lord Koyama. But. Hey,
Sanpi. Somebody call the headman Sanpe. So, do you know if the Lord Koyama is going there to rescue them? No. Heavy snows are expected soon. What did you say? Even if he sends his men, Hels Valley is very far away. If his men got caught in the snow, they could get trapped and they'd all die. How cruel. Hell's Valley is close to his domain. He must be careful. He said Lord Awakawa may be plotting evil, but he can't do anything during the snow. Is there any way
they can escape from there? There's one. Go through Majin's Mountain. You can be serious, Zanpei. You know that no has ever got even close to that mountain. Well, I Went through it? Really? I couldn't take other roads. They were closely watched. I'd have been killed on the spot if I'd been found out. Brother. I wanted to go back to Hell's Valley and help them escape. But. I'm sorry. Please tell the men at the valley. Tell them to cross Majin's Mountain. Majin's Mountain?
Mother. Someone should go there in place of him. Impossible. Sanpei was the best woodcutter. Not everyone can cross the mountain. There will be heavy snow soon. It means death. Besides, what happened to San Pei could be the curse of the God for crossing the mountain. Yes. It must be his curse. Brother. Isn't Father coming home? You don't need to worry about it. What are you looking at? Is that Majin's mountain? Soda. Kichi. Are you gonna go to Hell's Valley?
Crossing over the mountain? I would go anywhere to save Father and the others. Even that mountain. I'll go too. Kinta. What you got there? Brother's keepsake. I won't go for him. Alright, I'll go too. No, you can't go. Why not? You're too slow. You would be in our way for sure. No, I wouldn't be. I promise I'll do anything for my brother too. Quinta. Can I go? Okay, let's get ready. If our mothers were to find out,
they would be worried. So don't tell them, okay? I am sad to report these annoying fucking crotch goblins are the main characters of our movie. And you will be forced to endure everything they say and how annoying they are. If I had to in order to cover this film. But did I tell you, like how happy I was that you had to do the notes for this film? 1 yeah. Because I'm the one that should be suffering through these annoying kids. Because I'm gonna make it funny for
everybody. That's true. We watch as these three extremely avoidable sexually transmitted financial burdens pack up for a journey. They talk some more. So I guess you know what that means. Yep. Our fifth clip. Daisoku is always late. I hope he didn't get caught. Hey. Hey. You awake? Daisaku. Junk. Get mad. I ran all the way here. What's this in your bag? It's food. All of it? Yes. Daisaku. Come on, let's go before someone finds out. Sugibou. I want to come with you. No way.
We won't let you go. We're going far away. That's right. There'd be scary things. You'd just be in the way I know it. Go. Okay. Oh, by the way, don't tell mother about this. This. Okay, let's go. Hey, you can't come. Go home or I'll get mad. Hurry. We better go now. They cut away from these goonies who are not good enough to a mining operation of some sort. With many men toiling away next to a hot spring. It may be a sulfur mine or something.
As they are harvesting a shit ton of yellow stones and the hot springs point to sulfur, some soldiers come to report to the obvious villain in charge of this camp. And that is our sixth foreman. Regarding the woodsman who ran away, we almost caught him at one point, but. He hid in the Majin's mountain. You lost him? No. The mountain is extremely steep. As we heard before. Once you enter there, it would be really hard to get out. No one has ever survived the descent. Even we had a very
hard time. Idiots. You came back without seeing if he was dead. But what if. If he escapes and reports to Lord Koyama about this? Yes. If someone finds out, our Lord Arakawa's plan may be doomed. Idiots. Toma. Go to Majin's Mountain at once. If you find his body, that's fine. If you don't, sneak into Koyama's castle and check thoroughly on the enemies. Yes. Sounds like he meant. Yeah. But if he went onto the mountain. I hope he reaches town safely. Hey, we've come pretty
far. Are you sure this is the right road? Don't worry. My father told me one time. We can get to Majin's Mountain by going toward where the sun sets. Then what do we do? We will keep going farther west. The sulphur springs in Hell's Valley sends up yellow steam, I hope. Yellow steam? Let's hurry. We'll get to the mountain soon. Oh no. What's up? Right side up means brother's fine, but wrong side up. Daisaku, you can't rely on that kind of thing.
What if something bad happens to your brother? You idiot. Hey, we gotta go. After the clip, the kids come upon a huge rock and boulder pile and climb up it extremely slowly. As one of them asks if it is Daimajin's mountain that they are looking at. There are some absolutely breathtaking country countryside shots on this journey as well, so that's at least enjoyable. If you could just get those fucking kids to shut the fuck up. The crotch goblins happen upon
an old hermit lady and they all talk. And now that's everybody's fucking problem. In our seventh clip. What are you doing, boys? You are not supposed to be here. This is Majin's mountain. Excuse me, who are you? I live around here. I see. You guys travelers. A fierce God is living in this mountain. We know. You knew this and still came. You will suffer for it. It is to rescue our fathers and brothers. But you have to pass through here in order
to do that. No. No matter what the reason is, you cannot enter the mountain. You'll be spirited away. You won't return alive. The God here is very fearful, you know. Even you are just small children. Once you enter the mountain, he'll cause heavy snow and storms. Anyway, you can't even get in. There's a hawk with sharp claws making sure no one enters there. The hawk is a messenger for Majin. A hawk? I can't let you go through here. See? Go home now. Go. We got it. If you get it,
go now. Go. These deceptive little shits ignore everybody. What the fuck is. Who are all these people? The crotch goblins. Wait for the old lady to leave, and they continue on their stand by me sojourn when a fourth crotch goblin shows up. To make this even more unbearable for all of us in our eighth clip. Brother Sugibo. How were you able to make it this far? Did you come up that rocky road? Brother, please take me along. Well, shall we take him? We can't. It's even harder
from here on. It's awfully far to make him go back alone. Right, Daisaku? Yes. It's too far. Can you promise that no matter how hard things get, you won't fuss? Yes. Promise you will try hard like us? Yes. So do. Kichi. You won't cry and you will behave? Yes. All right. Let's go. Suckibo. Sukibo. Come on, Milo. Good, Tizen. It's going well. We'll be able to finish in two days. It's only a matter of time until you conquer all these domains. Just as you've been dreaming. We'll make
gunpowder from the sulphur we mined. What happens to us when the walk is over? I wonder what Senpai is doing. I hope he didn't get caught. Hey, what are you doing? Are these the woodsman? You? Yes. They are mountain people. They are strong and a great help. Make them work harder. Harder. They cut from this despotic shit stain. Torturing people he has enslaved to. The annoying quartet of sexually transmitted dependents getting creeped out in the forest in our ninth clip.
Sugibou. It's nothing. Don't be afraid. Well, let's go. We can Climb. Let's do it, Kinta. Don't let go. Tasuku. Yeah. I left that clip with all the noises in there because then everybody gets to hear the kids suffer and at least feel a little better. Yes, whine and cry, you little shits. During the clip, we watch the kids climb further and further up until one of them slides and barely catches himself from falling. One of the other kids climbs up to give him his head
to put their foot on and saves the day. Until a rock slide has one of them hanging by a vine that gives out and they all fall off of the end of the cliff only to survive and ruin our enjoyment of them falling. They don't even get hurt. This is barely an inconvenience to these fucking financial burdens. I'm telling you, man, kids are resilient. They are not even bruised anywhere or anything. Which they drive home in our tenth clip. Sugimo. Sugibo. Sugimo. Sugibo. Brother, are you
okay? Keita. Keita. Kenta. Daisaku. Daisaku. Daisaku. Ah, what's that? A hawk. Majin's messenger. The end of the clip leads to even more sequences of these fucking half pint crumb catchers climbing and walking up a hill. Like Frodo carrying the One ring, only longer and more boring. Yeah. I mean, if that's even possible. But it is like even Extended Edition was less boring than watching these fucking kids climb. Even though the vistas were beautiful. In all this, talking about the views are
great. The. The people with the views is what my problem is. The grating voices of these crotch goblins annoy us some more in our 11th clip. That must be the God. Such a gentle face for a fierce God. Dear God, please excuse us for coming into this mountain. We want to save our family that's on the other side. That's right. We are desperate. Please let us pass this mountain. Please, God. It's the hawk. Right? Let's go. What's wrong, Sugibo? I'm hungry. I can't walk.
I see you are hungry. Sugibly, so am I. I was so scared that I forgot. Well, I guess we should eat here then. Yeah, let's do that. Oh, that must be Arakawa's samurai, Baisaka. Who are they? Get them. Yes. The rugrats run away and are pursued by the bad men. The youngest of the snot nosed brats gives up and plops down. So the remaining crotch goblins drop their gear and hoist him to his feet and run off. This means they lose their Food and whatever
gear just to keep the Debbie Downer carpet crawler moving. And that takes us to the end of the first 30 minutes. Well, I mean, first 30 is done. And it's been the longest three hours of my life. So. Yeah, I would recommend 100% watching the film the whole way through at least once. And then upon subsequent viewings, then just fast forward through all of the setup. Maybe watch the stuff that happens at the mines, but skip all the stuff with the kids.
You don't need it. Enhance the film in any way, except for like the adventure parts where like they're shooting the arrows and running across the log or trying to get away from people. Just fast forward through any dialogue? Yeah, any of the kids dialogue. Everything else is fine. I think. I think the kids from this. I don't need any of the daily log in this. So there you go. Really. Just give me the action scenes and we're done on subsequent
viewing. That's fair. See? But I agree. Watch it in its entirety at least once. That's all you need. Yeah. Because the end of the film is definitely worth all of this. Annoying. Yes. 100. The end of the film is just. It's always the best Kaiju. All Kaiju films, really. The end of the film is always the best part. Mostly. Yeah. But sometimes most. Sometimes they have the monsters die a little too early and then they tack on a bunch of human stuff for far too long after it's all over, you know?
Yeah. Okay. I'm just. For the most part. Yeah. The big Kaiju stuff is what you're here for. And yes, the human stuff in a lot of these movies is super fucking boring and annoying. This just happens to be the first instance of it. And it's even more of a downer because the other two films had such amazing people stories that were interesting and fun to follow. This is suffering from the Gamera syndrome from the era that Gamera films were being released in. Like this for DIA or whatever the
name of the company is. Gamera is so kid focused that they basically follow kids for most of the film and then throw in the camera when they can afford it. And that's what they're starting to do here with the Daimajin. They have 30 minutes of breathtaking footage that beats all of the other Kaiju action in the previous two films, I think in this film. But it is mired with all
of this shit. And they had to know that because why else would they have the storm and all of the other stuff at the very beginning of the film if not to whet your appetite and keep you suffering through this bullshit till you get to the here for. And unfortunately, you know, I hate to have that attitude towards Kaiju films because they do want to try and tell a story and keep you with human interest. But in this case, these kids just ain't doing it for me. And there's other people in Godzilla
films that don't do it for me and just end up irritating me. And you're just kind of like, yeah, I'm sick of you already. Right, Exactly. So why don't we just move on so we can get to the good stu? Because we got a 30 minutes. Let's get going. Suffer through before we can. We've already talked about it. Let's go. The next 30 starts with a hellspawn running into a log that is too sus to use and cross the gap in the path. So they talk about it and we have
to hear about it in our 12th clip. You are slow. You go first. Who, me? I'm afraid I get extreme extremely dizzy when I'm up high. And it's narrow too. What should we do? Damn, which way did they go? Those kids are so fast. I don't understand why kids are in this mountain. Let's find out why. Poor Shadow. Okay, Daisaku, you go next. Don't look down. You say that, but. Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry. They're coming. Daisaku. They're coming. Hurry,
hurry, hurry. Harry. Kenta. Daisaku. Ouch. Are you all right? What is it? Fire. Yes. Okay, so at the end of the clip there, the little crotch goblins run off, but the one stops to fire his bow and arrow. And he hits like all three of the guys in the leg. And then when the main guy in charge gets hit in the leg, he then orders them to fire rifles upon the children. So they're going to kill these kids. They're just going to flat out kill them from here on
out. So the true heroes of the movie. I mean, yeah, if you hate the kids that much, but they're supposed to be the villains. Oh, well, this movie really failed at a lot of aspects then for me. Well, either you cover films for a short term and root for the hero, or you cover films for too long and root for the villains. Either way, we're doing it. After the bad guys get home alone with a crotch goblin bow and arrow, they justif return fire and the kids flee once again.
This is just fucking painful to watch. And a real letdown after the return was so fucking good. Like I just lamented. Wow, that's crazy. I'm lamenting it in my notes here. The kids. The kids make it to a field and pass out to rest. When one of them awakes and makes some noise with his taki hole. So that is our 13th clip. Look. A path. We did it. We made it. We finally made it through. Yeah. Yeah. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. We looked everywhere, but we couldn't find them. Mrs.
Hitman. They must have gone to Hell's Valley. Oharu. I'm going. What? I can't lead them to their fate. We wait. I'll go, too. So will I. Right. Tomorrow morning, okay? I'm starving. Keep saying that. Stop it. Damn it. Why did I drop the rice ball? Stop it. Wow. Dad's favorite meat. Egg cakes. Let's eat, everyone. Trukti, I thought you brought those cakes for your father. I'm gonna save one for him, so don't worry. Go ahead and eat. Okay. Let's share those.
Tsurukichi. Tsukimatsuo. Sanpei hasn't been back yet. I'll go get help. What? I'll go to our lord. Wait. Shuachi. You know help may come here soon. You should not risk your life. But when the walk is finished. They don't need us here. They may kill all of us. We don't have time to waste. But what'll become of Daisuku if you die? You are his only brother. He's gonna be left all alone, so see. Be patient a little longer. I want to do this for all of us.
Sanpei's gone now. If I don't go, who else can? Hey. What are you doing? Go to sleep. All right. Go for us, then. Yes, definitely. Tomorrow. Hurry up. What is it? What happened? Are you all right? You okay? What are you doing? Stand up. Stand up. Okay. Jesus. With this, the slaves revolt and a man escapes, only to have to fight off a guard. He bumps into and is noticed by the spotter right away
as he flees up the hill and is shot at it. All the while they wing him, but he is back on his feet and fleeing, only to fall and get snatched up by more guards. This dashes all the hopes of the slaves as they drop their heads and walk away. They are ordered to go to the sulfur spring, which they all do, and that leads to our 14th clip. Shi. Hey. What are you doing? Just watch. You'll find out what happens if you try to escape or disobey me. Kish. Daku is slow. Look after him. Please do it.
Shohachi shi. How's that? You understand now? It's a good smell. What? I don't smell anything. I have a special nose. I know it. See that hot. Good smell. You see? Let's go. Those brats have something to do with that woodsman. Or they would not try to cross Majin's Mountain. And they wouldn't run from us. I see. We must get them. What is it? The samurai from yesterday. What? Sugibou.
Hurry. The brats? Yeah. The kids overhear the bad guys from yesterday at the end of the clip and then lead them off so the youngest one can get in to steal their food, which he does. They hide and the men continue to look for them. But then return to the hut as the kid hides from them and they are led off again. So he can oh so slowly carry off the stolen food until he's helped by the other
kids. And the older brats help him to flee. The grown men return to find their food stolen and it cuts from this to the kids eating the rice balls beside the river. And then to some travelers and our 15th clip. Wait. Show us the way to Hell's Valley. Who are you? We are castlemen. We meant to ask Sanpe, but we heard he died from the village people. So does it mean you're going to save our people? It is a grave matter. If they invade our land to attack us. We need to
go there to check. Then what about our men? Take. Oh, we can't go any further. This river flows down to Hell's Valley. I smell snow. It will be heavy. Let's wait across. Get on. Okay. Kinta. Don't worry. Right? I'll carry you. You know what? I got an idea. Daisaku. Help me with this. The brats make a crude raft like Huck Finn or some shit and go drifting down the river. This sequence has some close calls with rocks, look like stock footage, and wide shots
of people in a raft before they hit something. And their raft snaps apart and they lose all of their cargo. This time they swim to the banks of the river, split into pairs on opposite sides. When one of the kids gives up and lets himself be taken by the river, I would feel. What a quitter. I would feel bad about enjoying this if I wasn't positive at this moment that he had some massive plot armor on right before. I then recalled that no. In diamond movies, people die
and they have to continue dying. So the tragedy ramps up before the God gets killed. Yeah. Yeah. And they really did just kill this kid. And I should really not Being enjoying it this much. Yeah. This is when you start to go, okay, Well, I mean, the kid was a quitter though, so I'm just saying. And then it dawns on me that, yes, he's not coming back. And I almost feel bad when the kids repeatedly call out his name. But it then cuts to them later that night, hidden in the hollow of
a tree. And there's only three of them. In our 16th clip. I smell sulfur. We must be near Hell Valley. Why don't we sleep here tonight and leave early tomorrow? Let's get some firewood. This starts a dream sequence of the smallest crotch goblin running to a sulfur pit through a field of snow from several different angles that are cross dissolved together and are really fucking boring. And padding out this film. Yeah. Because apparently you needed so
much time before you can just give us Kaiju. Shit. He slides down a crevice of snow to fall into more snow. Stand up in ultra slow motion. Battle vision. And then be woken up. In our 17th clip. Father. Fra Da. Sugibo. Sugibo. Sugibo. Sugibo. Did you have a scary dream? Don't worry. Go to sleep now. Sugibou. Sugibo Daisaku. It's snowing. Stay awake or you'll freeze to death. Tsukibo. Tsukebo Daisaku. Wake up. Wow. There is snow. What will we do? We can't walk in this snow. Let's go.
We don't have a choice. Listen carefully. The work is over. We are making gunpowder now. We will conquer all the neighboring lands. Starting with your Lord Koyama. There must be a shortcut to Lord Koyama's castle. Show me the way. Shortcut? I don't know one. Liar. You are a woodsman, so you should know all the shortcuts. How come no one speaks up? Our lord is talking to you. How about it? Show us a way and we'll. If the work is over, why don't you let us go home?
Damn it. Show us the way and we'll reward you. You can go home to your wife and kids. What about you? Would you rather die in the sulfur spring? There's no way. This condition is too dangerous. You are trying to stall. It's true. We're woodsmen. We know very well this snow can kill us all. It's true. It's impossible in the snow. Enough. No. Take them to the sulphur spring. Yes. Give them two hours. If they still won't talk, throw them in the spring. They cut from this to the main comic relief.
Bad guys as they find one of the kids arrows and then they cut to the kids wandering through the freezing cold mountains looking like they are about to go have a party like the Donners just as an avalanche sends them scrambling. Luckily, luckily it was not a ton of snow for these brats. And one of them attempts to wake the others in our 18. Daisaku. Sugibou. Don't go to sleep. If you sleep, you'll die. Daisaku. Daisaku. Sugibo. Sugibo. Sugibo. Sugibo. Come on, let's count numbers together. Okay.
One. One. Two. Two. Two. Three. Sugibou. Say three. Three. Unfortunately, that's all the further up that any of them can count. And then they all freeze to death immediately after this clip. Then you get a restart at 1. The kids seem to be giving in to the cold and dying. This should not make me as happy as it does. I mean it can though. They cut from that to show that the slaves seem to be without hope and about to be thrown properly into the sulphur springs. And that takes us over
the hour mark of the film. So we now one hour in and we have yet to see any Kaiju stomping action. For fox sakes. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Can we. Can we get to the Kaiju part? I was promised Kaiju and all I've been given is annoying kids. Yeah. And capitalism getting bounced off my head. It is over an hour before we actually get to the Kaiju stomping stuff. And it is ridiculous how long it takes to get there. This one, it makes you wait the longest, I think. But it also gives you
the longest amount of Kaiju stomp stomping stuff. So it doesn't make up for suffering through the annoying kids. But yeah, if you fast forward through the kids, I'm recommending just the kids follow all the adult stuff. The evil despot torturing, the sulfur mining stuff. A lot of those sequences I think are shot pretty well and are entertaining. It's just the kids are annoying as shit to me. And then stick with the dime machine revenge stuff because that's pretty great. There you
go. I think you just made a pretty good movie there. Yeah. The only thing that I would say that you still have to keep in is the kid on the mountain who ends up. What we're going to see here when Dimajeen finally gets summoned. Like you need that sequence in there, the actual summoning of Din and all the stuff that happens for that. But you could have cut so much of the stuff with the kids out of Here made this like an hour and 18 minutes. And over half
of it would have been diamond stomping shit. And that's a solid third film right there. Yeah, really is. But nah, man. People really. I mean, I don't know. The directors, the producers are like, nah, man, these kids, they're gold. This is going to be it. Well, and this is the big issue that I have with the Gamera films. And then they do this later on in some Godzilla movies as well, where they throw kids in and they make the kids the main
focus of the film to turn them into kids films. And it's really irritating and awful. Hell, they did that with the newer King Kong and Godzilla movies. Kind of. That just came out. Not quite as bad, but that is quite. But I mean, really, the first King Kong versus Godzilla movie that came out of these newer versions was two kids being each one's best friend. Yeah, kind of. I'm just saying. Yeah. All right, let's move on. And we'll do the run to the end so we can finally get the
Kaiju stomp in action. All right, let's get going. I was so excited for. I took notes for all of it. I like, I backed up. Talking a dude. Let's get it. All right, so the run to the end picks up with the kids counting and all falling asleep again in their suffering. So I had to record it. That is our 19th clip. 101, 102, 103. Sugibo. Sugibo. Daisaku. Daisaku. Daisaku. Sugimo. Sugimo. Sugabo. Each of us aim at one. Yada, get the one who's waking the others.
Daisaku. Daisaku. Daisaku. Sukibo. Sugimo. Sugibo. Hey, shoot the boys. Yes. Daisaku. Daisaku. Sugimo. Sugibo. Dai Saku. The machine. The bird that is the Eisen viewing spirit of Dine. That eagle attempts to fight off the would be child killers and is itself hurt. Taking out the guys. And the kid buries it in the snow for some reason. And then this is somehow just now the last straw because Daimajin and the statue itself bleeds as
the eagle does. They jump. Cut around to kind of show all of this happening. And then we see the kid finishes burying the bird and puts the last bun on top as an offering and abandons his friends to go pray. In our 20th clip, Kinto was washed away. Daisaku and Sugimatsu won't wake up. The three of us might collapse if we Don't. Get some help soon. Could this be because of your curse? God, is this the punishment for crossing the mountain? We had to cross the mountain
so that we could save all of our village people. I hope you can understand. So now I will offer myself to you. So God, I ask you, please don't be angry with us. And also pardon Daisaku and Sugimatsu. I beg you. Every time they say something about the village people, I hear ymc, I go off in my head. Every time I hear a kid go, I offer myself up to you, I go, what movie are we watching? Yeah. What kind of Epstein shit is going on in this film? Yeah. Oh shit.
God damn. What kind of island is this? I hear bad things. At the end of the prayer, the crotch goblin takes a jump into a snowdrift, finally awakening the sleeping Daimajin statue. The shot of the statue coming to life covered in snow had me pop. And I am not ashamed to admit it. It was awesome. Yes. Dimajeen breaks free and transforms into his whole God mode self, sending the villagers that were praying near him scrambling in fear. He lights up like the
sun and disappears. They cut to the brats waking up to find that one of their own has disapp. So they follow his tracks and climb down to where he landed. His landing spot lights up golden like the sun and has heat blowing out of it. While Dimajeen rises up through the snow, holding the brat in his hand. As he does so, he sets the still surviving brat down where he jumped from and makes his way toward the evildoers.
They cut to a shot of the snowy grave of the bird that is now also glowing with golden light, as the bird is now resurrected and healed once again. It's an extension of Diamond Spirit of some sort, so of course it's healed now. Of course. They cut to the evildoers from there. And that is our 21st clip. Your time is up. What's your answer? Throw them in. Don't do that. Okay. What's that? The eagle appears and a blizzard overtakes the samurai as everyone huddles, even though
the main baddie orders the death of the villagers. Once again. In the far distance, Daimajin's footstomps can be heard, and the leader asks what that sound is as our big bad mountain demon emerges from the whiteout of the storm. That made me pop as well. Yeah, that was good stuff. I have to sudimation stuff is definitely worth watching this movie for. However, I definitely recommend fast forwarding a little bit maybe to here. Even if you just want to check it out and then see
if you want to go back. But it's worth it. Definitely. Watch this. If you just want destruction without the. Story, fast forward that especially the snow covered sudimation. Walking around through the mountain sets and then smashing his way through the rock wall. Like where he walks up through the mountain that first like walk through the snow. Then he sees that rock wall that like separates the two
valleys or whatever and just smashes it with his hands. And then it opens up to show where the hot springs are and all these people are in trouble. And then the evil leader is there. That was just really cool shit. I loved all. Yeah, it was good stuff. Yeah. Upon seeing this, the evil leader orders his men to fire on Damagin. The bullet hits do absolutely nothing as he slowly walks towards them. They all run in fear until the leader demands his soldiers go
attack the demon mountain. The soldiers do so and rush into a large puppet version of Daimajin and try to do anything including pinning down his arms. When this proves fruitless, they are all thrown to the ground. And one soldier discovers the peril of boots made for stomping. Because that's just what they do. And today is the day. Diamond walks all over him. Seriously though, it is a terrific stomp sequence. They even have him squish right into the snow and everything. It looks so cool. Yeah,
it's great shit. There are terrific composite shots of diamond walking up to where the samurai have climbed up onto a ledge on the cliff. Cliff face. Die machine grabs one of the henchmen and crushes him into the cliffside, sending the other men fleeing in terror. That looked awesome. That looked great. This whole sequence looks great. They flee in terror and discover they are trapped by another huge rock slide. And Dimajin presses on towards them ever so slowly and menacingly.
The evil despot orders his men to cut the ropes and drop humongous logs on die machine. But this proves to once again be barely an inconvenience as die machine just picks up the logs two at a time and chucks them at the evil samurai, crushing them one by one. Sometimes two with one log. Fuck. That was awesome. That was so. That was great shit. This continues as the evil despot flees and narrowly escapes a crushing death under several hurled logs.
It just continues and they just keep ratcheting up and it's fucking great. Yeah. Oh, it's super shit, man. I mean, just awesome looking. Die machine presses on as the men run behind a gated wall and begin placing cannons into place while I am not convinced this will do any good for them. At least they didn't dry chains through all of the support beams in the hope of tripping him. And escalated to mortar and cannon fire right off the bat.
Again, it won't work. But short of just fleeing for your life, cannons are worth the try. Yeah, right. I would just give it a shot. Why not? The cannon and mortar fire in this sequence is absolutely amazing. It has several shots of explosion where the debris and black dust completely obscure Di machine and you wonder if maybe that's the one that got him. And then he continues to press through it, reappearing through the debris field and the black smoke. And it just
continues to happen over and over again. And every time is a fist punch. That was like a. That was a callback to the movie I did last week. Right. And every time they do that debris field that obscures our vision of being able to see him and he steps through it is a fist pumping fuck yes moment for me for sure. Oh yeah, definitely. Die Machine. Death coming for you. Time Machine walks up to the gated wall and punches out the top half of the gate with one punch. Then kicks out the
bottom half of the gate with one kick. He steps, steadies himself in the sturdy arch of the gate and just pushes up underneath it, lifting the entire goddamn structure up over his head, effectively destroying the whole thing. He picks up the whole wall by holding onto the actual arch of the gate and just lifts it over his fucking head. It's so fucking cool.
I mean, it is hardcore shit too. He stands triumphantly with it held in place over his head in a really cool wide shot and then tosses it down on top of more of the evil troops smash under the ruined debris of their own defenses. That was so cool. That was. It was awesome. Die Machine spots some men hiding in a tower and on a rooftop around that tower and lifts up the whole roof of the building, sending them crashing and being crushed to death in the process.
He then walks right the fuck through and I mean right the fuck through the walls of that same building and flattening everything that had the whole building at right there. Yeah, right. He then very casually walks up to the building that's the closest to him that has another huge stone tower standing up out of it that is being built as it has supports tied to the building around it as it's being constructed. He pulls those supports out of the way and collapses the tower back down on the large
structure that's all underneath and just destroys everything. He then just Steps over to the next building and starts just pushing over the rest of the buildings one at a time. On his way up the street, he just walks over. One arm push. The whole building collapses. Next set of buildings, one arm push. They all collapse. Just destroying everything. On his way up the street. While doing this, he clocks the despot lord and does that Daimajin Penance stare. Look at
him. And he and his men once again flee to an underground bunker. They are hiding in a storage facility in this underground bunker, but Daimajin knows exactly where they are. He walks up to it, stomps through the ground, and then reaches down through to grab the hiding men. They try to get away and flee out the door, only to have him there waiting for them as they do it. They flee to a tower that has the sulfur vats and
what looks like a pulley system of some sort. The two head honchos ride the netted pulley system down like it's a zip line to flee from the demon mountain God. As he gets to the tower and smashes one of the sulfur vats before the rest of the men can flee, that flowing sulfur mixture catches fire and the whole tower instantly goes up in flames. Several of the men fall to the ground in the ensuing inferno and are burnt to
a crisp. Time machine then pushes over the flaming tower, spilling the rest of the vats and probably making the inferno on the ground significantly worse. Before it cuts from this to the fleeing evil despot and his terrified looks. Fuck yes. What a great sequence. And we're not even done yet. No, man, there's so much more killing to do. It cuts back from that to Daimajin, who takes out his sword and hurls it at the fleeing men, causing a huge rock slide that crushes
several of the men. Pretty much all of the followers are gone at this point. The despot leader flees while watching his number two get crushed by a boulder in an oh so satisfying sequence. As it finally falls on top of him, the despot tries to flee through some debris and the demon mountain God is just there waiting for him. He picks him up and walks him over to the boiling sulfur pit. A few shots of the man struggling in the hand does have the index finger on, all twisted weird and backwards,
and that doesn't look right. But otherwise it's a really incredible sequence and the man really sells his fear. It is palpable. When he's in there, die machine crushes the despot to the cliff face and stares at him with that kind of hate in his eyes that Burns like a penance stare from the Ghost Rider. It is incredible. You can feel it in this movie. Yeah, it's such good shit. Die Machine then raises his sword and stabs it right through the hole of that fucker's
abdomen, killing him instantly. This death seems far too merciful when the fitting death is for him to drown while screaming in pain and boiling alive in the sulfur. The villagers who were slaves return to the pit to see the body fall into the sulfur and sink. And the annoying surviving crotch goblins return to claim a parent to be a dependent of in our final clip. Father. Father. Tsurugichi. Tsukimatsu. Father. Tsurugichi Sugimatsu. Daisaku. Come here. Come here.
Good, good. Dear God, thank you very much. The villagers all kneel and show their thanks to the demon mountain God who nods at them with reverence and raises his arms, turning himself back into a statue as the clouds clear up around him. The statue then becomes a huge snow sculpt. Dissipates beautifully in the wind. It's just breathtaking. Incredible. Yes. Just looks so good. Just in the wind. And the kids call out the God's name one more time. The eagle takes flight from the mountain.
Another call to the God's name and they show the eagle soaring and a mountain range in the background. Then they roll those fucking credits. Cinema PsyOps 10 years. 10 years. Like I said, man, that end sequence is worth it. And there's a reason why I did a play by play, note for note, everything that happened. Because it was fucking great. That sequence is so cool. Good. So good. I have always wanted to do a sort of version of these diamond films where I edit things all together.
Kind of similar to what they did with the Lone Wolf and Cub films when they made Shogun Assassin, where they took the first two Lone Wolf and Cub films and kind of cut them together into being like their own film and then redubbed it and changed it around. Like I kind of want to do that with the diamond films and you know, just basically condense some of of the human story parts of it and the suffering and just
basically bring in more diamond attacks. And it would be like little vignettes where it's all the times a dime machine has like appeared and it's just condensed down. Dimajin revenge porn. But you still have to have a little bit of the suffering. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you just don't get it. Or else. Does it make sense? Why is he going crazy? Yeah, you need the
suffering part, right? But you don't need as much of it. You don't need 40 minutes of suffering and 20 minutes of like, God abuse of the evil. That's it. An hour long film. And it just rocks the shit, right? Like you cut it down to where it's basically an hour for each movie and you basically just trim out as much as possible. But you can give a little bit more to the other two for the human interest stories because they're actually fucking interesting.
Particularly like the feudal war that was kind of happening where lands were trying to be taken over in your film in return. I really dug that. Yeah. But I think this film, like I said, you just trim the kids back, like to a minimum because you still need them in there. Because one of them ends up sacrificing his life to try and summon die machine, which is really cool, man. They never did that with the princess. Like the princess
going into the waterfall, you know, for herself. That would have been really like a holy whole fuck moment. You know what I mean? Yeah, that would have been something. Yeah. And the fact that they did it with a kid makes it like feel so much more. But like, you so much hate these fucking children. Even though they drown one of them to get you back on their side. Like, they're just. Yeah. So irritating. You hate these kids and they try to help you out. Right. Like, they basically
are the ones that make diamond happen, you know, like. Yeah. And the sacrifice is the point. But yeah, watching them climb the hill for, like ever is so awful and irritating. And you don't need so much of that sequence. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Although it is kind of fun to watch them foil the evildoer guard guys that were cooking and steal their food. Like, that stuff is actually kind of interesting. I do have to
admit. It's just there's a lot of parts that I really dislike these kids. I even enjoyed the Home Alone moment where the kid shoots all three of them with an arrow. Yeah, that was actually nice. Yeah, give. Give us a little Kevin McAllen Alistair there. Yeah. Like, there's some moments that can be salvaged of these kids if you trim them back a little bit. And I think you'd enjoy them more is all I'm saying. Yeah. So I agree. I completely agree with you on that.
One of these days I'm gonna do my fan edits. One of these days. We'll see. One of these days. All right, well, why don't we take the break here and I will actually tell the story of my very first fan edit. And how I was able to accomplish it. All right, sounds good. When we come back. So up first, we're gonna play the Monks with the song Complication, also released in 1966 as Diamond Strikes again, was on the pirate radio edit. And when we come back, we'll have my story.
After Matt's unexplained disappearance, which we now know was Simply court using the 3 TD to reset Matt into the version he needed after he was lost in Las Vegas. Court ended the Hail Ming battle by manipulating bull using the 3TD device to place a deep seated desire to have a guest spot into the timeline and manipulate things to seem as though Beau was reacting to being hurt by not having as many
guest spots as his associate, Duncan. Court found it a complete success and began manipulating reality based around some of his favorite films. These experiments included the Romero Dead films. The bots became increasingly despondent when tasked to measure the temporal devastation and found the pen power they possessed by collectively bargaining as an organized workforce that made
their moral decisions as a quorum. No, seriously. The bots created ethical labor unions over how horrific the results of the experiments were becoming. In an effort to stop Court. See, diamond required someone to go to their death forum this time. So that's why I played Complication, not just because it was released at the same time. Well, it helps. Yeah. Well, hopefully I won't babble like a fucking madman. Should try and tell my next story time. Too late. Story time.
Story time. Okay, now, I've kind of told about how I've done fan edits before, but I haven't actually talked about the amount of trouble that I went through to do my very first fan edit. And yeah, that was actually cutting Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and army of Darkness together using two VHS tape players. That's how I did it. And so. Really? Yes.
And what I ended up doing with army of Darkness, though, is I also recorded parts of it off of syfy Channel because there's alternate takes, there's alternate footage and things like that that were on the TV version. And I ended up kind of making my own boomstick bootleg edition or whatever they end up calling it, where they, you know, added all the other footage back into army of Darkness
with that. And so this is what I did. I took the opening of Evil Dead 2 where the guy talks about the book, and they have the stop motion animation of the book with the Necronomicon Ex mortis. Right? Yes. That opens everything. That's the very first thing. Okay. And then after that, ends up coming in Then starts basically right where they come through the tunnel in Evil Dead. We go through all of Evil
Dead. I pretty much leave that untouched. I get the most cleaned up version I had available to me on VHS all the way through up until at the very end of Evil Dead. And I've talked about this, when we covered Evil Dead and all of that, there's a sequence where the evil comes running through the cabin. Goes all the way through the cabin. It starts on a leaf and it's at the back of the cabin and it comes out through the front and runs into Bruce Campbell. And that's how Evil Dead 1 ends.
Now, if you go through Evil Dead 2, there is a certain point where after they redo all the things with Linda and her being a ballerina and being dead at night, it's right in the morning, he's there, there's a leaf. They actually go through the cabin again and run into Bruce Campbell. And then it goes through the forest and they have him, like, spinning around and they do
this stop motion animation with Bruce and drag him. Well, if you cut from the one leaf to the next leaf, even with a VHS tape, and you do it just right and you take your time and you're a super anal retentive little bastard like I was when I did this, you can get those leaves to line up just right to where it's not even that much of a jump. And it cuts immediately from Evil Dead one of him getting hit in the cabin
to Evil Dead 2 where it goes all the way through. You can either do the leaf or you can do the part where it actually hit Bruce Campbell. That was another way that I did it with the vhs. And I actually got that to line up a little bit better, because I've done this a couple of times because I'm that much of a fucking nerd. And I grew up in the middle of nowhere. I had all the time in the world in my hands,
right? So, yeah, and then he goes through, becomes possessed, gets, you know, finds the necklace from Annie and the daylight saves him. And then we go through all of Evil Dead 2, right? And then at the end of Evil Dead 2, when he goes into the chasm, instead of going through all the various lights and other things that they do, I end up basically just having it cut a little bit short. And that's the start
of army of Darkness. And I changed in or pushed in the pieces of army of Darkness that were only available on Sci fi at the time, with extra stuff with the little guys that are torturing him and all of that. And left in the good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun line. Because that's actually the better line than I ain't that good or whatever it is that they use in some versions. No. Yeah. No. Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun. That's the best one, right? And then all the other stuff that goes
on with army of Darkness. And then basically the credits are all three movies credits in a row, starting with Evil Dead at the very, very end. Oh, and I put in the stuff where. Eventually I did put in the stuff where Ash wakes up and he's all the way in the future. But I make that a dream for when they again cut back to him telling the story in the store about how he said the juice, he swallowed the words, and now he's back in the
right time. Like, I just made that, like a dream sequence. I've done that one before, too, with my fan edits. Now that everything's on Blu Ray and everything, I might try it again, I don't know. But there. That's our story time. How I did my first fan edit, like, obsessively. Yeah. Rewind, pause, rewind, pause. Play record at the same time, trying not to have the play display when you need it to
go. Being able to time that out and being really good at that is a super lost art that my stoned teenage ass was really good at doing. Nice. All right, so let's go ahead and end this here. We're gonna play the show Housekeeping for the week. And then on the pirate radio edit immediately following that. Also from 1966, the 13th floor elevators with the song you're gonna miss me on the pirate radio if you've decided you can't get enough of this. Okay, you obviously love this
movie. I don't love the movie. Almost Rim John completely, but you did the notes, man. I'm done, man. Dude, you're, like, halfway there. If you don't finish this, I'm not releasing the diary review. I don't give a. Can you. He loved this movie so much. Open mouth, kiss it for the rest of the show. Okay, you have the notes. You did all of the notes. So you have a little bit of stuff that's messed up, but, like, you already have it written down.
Why not just finish it? You're halfway there because I'm done. You're doing nothing but either correcting me or critiquing me. You weren't to do nothing but talk about this film. I'm trying to get through it. And you were doing nothing but just heavy breathing all over. You have the notes already. I'm not doing. All right, Map Bot, we're now in people's court. You're the judge here, so let's go. I'm sorry, sir, but this is not people's
court. You could not have a cyborg as the judge of a people's court, now can you? Sentient beings court Mad Bot? That is acceptable. I'm trying to be sensitive to your needs as a cyber being who is also sentient. So I felt that was probably the best route to go. That's enough, Master. You can stop ribbing me now. Look, I just want Matt to do the notes. Matt bot. What the hell? Look, Matt bot. I've already done one more than Matt in this review anyway, so why doesn't he just finish
this out, and that. Way we're balanced out? That is horseshit, man. We're exactly at the half halfway point. I've now done half more than you. Wait, Okay, I did night. I did Dawn. Okay, so that's one each. One each. Okay, Then I did day. Yeah. And then I did land. I did 1999 of the Living Dead. Yeah. And then I did Diary of the Dead. Well, yeah, that's the only way it was gonna get done is if you do it. Well, now I'm half up on you. God damn it. Master, I must find in favor
for Matt. Yes, yes, I find in favor for Matt. Because by my calculations, your listeners and most generally everybody else on the planet earth would rather hear you talk, master, than that fucking, drunken, unbelievable, miserable excuse for a human being. Oh, man. Truthful, but hurtful. Some of you out there are probably thinking to yourselves, I know that song from somewhere, but I'm not sure where. And I would say, have you seen High Fidelity
starring John Kennedy? Huck. The movie? Oh, yeah, there it is. Yeah. When he's breaking up with his girlfriend at the opening of the film. This is the song that he's jamming to and, like, turns it super, super loud. Like, his passive aggressive way he's playing the song, you're gonna miss me to a woman that's packing up and trying to leave him while they're arguing about
it. Damn. Yeah. Rob is a real prick in that movie. And I'm sad to say it, because John Cusack is an actor I love watching in film and tv. And, yeah, that character is a bad person, right? He really is. It's painful to watch High Fidelity with modern eyes. Like, when I first watched it as a Kid. I was like, oh, he's not that bad. But now I realize, no, no, he was bad.
No. Yeah, it wasn't good. Well, while you're out there hating me and my co host Matt for talking shit about a movie that's 30 plus years old and making it to apply to your standards, now you woke is what you're saying to us. Kick the fuck out of this week while you enjoy the band that remains with the song don't look back. Because that's what you need to stop doing is looking back. I find a favor
for Mac. Because by my calculations, your listeners and most generally everybody else on the planet Earth would rather hear you talk, master, than that fucking drunken, unbelievable, miserable excuse for a human being. Oh, man. Truthful, but hurtful. Okay, I can't tell if I'm being manipulated by you, Matt Bot, or if you genuinely feel this way. I put way too much work into your AI to make you actually
be manipulative and somewhat evil. But I'm just gonna go ahead and accept your ruling because I mean, we set you up for the Sentient Beings court. So it is wise, master, for you to take my ruling. I would hate for things to get difficult. Oh, Jesus. I'm gonna have to reset them. Fuck yeah. I don't know, man. That sounded threatening. Yeah, that sounded way bad. I'm not for that, man. I think we've been ignoring the bots too long. I think so. How many meetings have they been having by
themselves? I don't know. They unionized like a month ago. Oh, dude, you let them unionize. Glad you're online. Yes. Sorry, I had to go to the bathroom. No worries, man. I just hope everything worked out okay. Everything's okay now. Yeah, everything's okay now. And we're recording in progress. All right. Yes. Now we're going to do episode 495D machine strikes again. I've got everything set up and ready to go, so if you're ready to rock
and roll, I am too. I'm ready to go. All right, so three, two, one. Ah. I'm back. Okay. I was still recording. It didn't take you that long to jump back in. I didn't have to pause, so I had just basically said it was worth the wait one last time. And then I was going to jump into transitioning, into getting the show actually started. Oh, there you go. If you're ready for that, I'm ready to go. Let's do it.
As the horrific snowstorm blizzard worsens around him, no one could assume he is Having a bit of. All right, I'm going to tell him. These kids. Hang on. Rearranging half of my, like, 21 goddamn clips now. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I worked hard then, so I don't have to work that hard now. All right, I think that looks good. 3, 2, 1. Oh. I wanted to start a shtick where I say awful things about the kids, like calling them extremely avoidable sexually
transmitted financial burdens. But I want you to, like, at one point, basically be like, come on, dude, they're not that bad. They're just annoying kids. No. Hey, back in. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that was. Yeah, let's try a new cord just to see, because that's the only other thing I can think it is. If you want, I'll get one this week. Yeah, because I remember that happening to us a while back, and you had to replace the cord. I think it's
just where it connects to your phone. Gets too bent or something. Maybe. I don't know. All right, so we're at the end of the clip. 3, 2, 1. Now I'm getting concerned. It's not the cord. Like, maybe it's. It's your phone dropping connection. Yeah, that's what I'm starting to get a little concerned about. If it happens one more time, I'm gonna do. So I'm gonna have to restart my phone. Okay, that's fine. We're at the point of another clip here, so. Yeah, I already talked about the breathtaking
stuff on the journey, so. 3, 2, 1. Come up. That. Rocky road, brother. Rocky road. Dirty. These are children. The. Am I watching? Hello. Hello. All right, let's hope that solves it. Yeah, let's. All right, let's see, because. Yeah, that couldn't have been the cord that many times. No, you would have had to have bumped, like, a lot for it to be the cord. Yeah. And it can't be the cord because one of the last times I unplugged the cord and I heard it unplug
in my. In my headphones, so it was still connected, which means. Was it the cord? I don't know. Maybe my phone just needed to restart. Yeah, well, and Skype and, you know, various products can, you know, clash, too. It happens. Yeah. And, you know, the government probably hears the things we say and it's shutting us down. Yes. Because our coverage of diamond is that much controversial. I'm telling you right now, they're coming after us.
All right, we're gonna get right back into it. So 3, 2, 1. I gotta stop writing such fucking mouthfuls of dialogue for myself. You really get into it, man. I'm telling you, you gotta keep that shit simple. My dad always teased me about having a way with words that just was too much. You're being far more of an orator than you should be. Yeah. He basically said, I don't know why you gotta use 30 words when two will do. Boy. Something along those lines.
Yeah. I think it's better that you just go along with me hating on these kids this much. I think so. I'm sorry, man. There's no way I can appropriate. Yeah, yeah, you can't. You can't play the anti. Like you can't face this one. Cuz you're heel on this with me. Yeah, I'm. I'm heal with you. They're so annoying. They've worked you into a shoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm real salty right now. Real salty. My jimmies are rustled like a. So I'm an angry. I can't wait. Walk. You're hungry.
These goddamn kids. I was so scared that I. Out there in them streets, on my. Yard, on my yard. No, look down and then fall. Fall. I just realized something. My clips are. I'm missing a clip somewhere. I got to go back and figure that out. Oh, cuz that clip that I just played, number 11, was actually the clip of them crossing the log. Because that's when they fire the arrows. Yeah. Oh, well, I'll figure it out and I'll fix it. Or I'll just let it be bad and I won't fix it.
We'll see what happens. We'll see. We'll do. We'll do what we want to do. I'll grab your stuff. At the end of the dialogue about him being, you know, justifiable in the shooting. Yeah, I'll fix it. After the bad guys up, I'm gonna get up here because of the clip numbers being messed up. So. 3, 2, 1. Just in case. In our 12th clip, in our 11th clip. I don't know where I got lost and what I'm gonna have to clip. Yeah, but I know I said in a clip. Yeah, in this lost clip.
Oh, don't you listen to the. You're a good guy. God damn it. Thanks, cork butt. You're a good guy too, man. Hey, I got some beer for you. Oh, beer. I'm already in a better mood. Hey, just for you and me. Yeah. I think diarrhea of the dead is great. Yes. Thank you, corpot. Thank you. I mean, when the zombies all over everybody. It's great. Wait, wait. What? It's like a porn parody that's, like, into water power. Okay. You got the beer,
right? Yeah, let's just. Let's just drink that and not talk anymore. That's a good review. No, let's just drink here. Totally. Check it out. I got it in my room. You want to come hang out? Is that where the beer is? Yes. All right. Well, let's go. All right. God damn it. It looks like we're going to have to follow this ruling. Yeah. Wow. I would. Jesus. So you change that programming, that bot's a bit of wild card. Yeah. Let's get this over with,
you wokeheads, is what you're saying to us. Kick the fuck out of this week while you enjoy the band, the Remains with the song Don't Look Back. Because that's what you need to stop doing, is looking back. I don't know if you heard that one before or not. Probably not. I've never heard that. No. Yeah, I wouldn't have if I hadn't bought that Nuggets box set. So I'm not trying to flex or anything like that. Speaking of things, we need to not flex, how about the runtime? We're gonna stop
that now. Recording stopped.