Middlesex District Attorney Marian Ryan

For thirty five years, Cindy Stumpo has been a female home builder with a passion for design, a mastery of detail, and a commitment to her crack. With daughter Samantha Stumpo by her side, I don't need my whole family on a date with me. That's a good note. It's goddemn weird. See. Stumpo Development is the only second generation female construction company in the country. You're crazy, You're a wacko, You're insane. I mean, it

just doesn't end together. Cindy and Samantha welcome guests to explore the world of construction, real estate, development, design and more. Here. I'm predictable. Every time I think I know what you want, you switch it out. But that's what makes your houses all your day. Discuss anything that happens between the roof and the foundation. Nothing is off limits. You truly do care about everybody. She can yell at chicken screen, but when you get

her alone, she's the best person on the planet. Cindy Stumpo is tough as nails. Welcome to Cidy Stumpo Tough as Nails on WBZ News Radio ten thirty and I'm here tonight with Samantha. Who's this lovely woman. I'm Marion Ryan. I have the privilege to being the district attorney for a Middlesex county. Is that a good thing? It's a great thing. You love your Joe. I love my job. How long? Eleven years? Eleven years? Eleven years and still get up and love what you do? I do

love it. Now that position is what how do you get into that position? It's an elected position with a four year term and we're on what you know, I am just coming to the middle of my second year of my third term full term, so now this one we have to start going back. I'm campaigning again and you've been there for eleven years. Yeah, so why would we change a good thing? Well, I hope that won't happen. I think we're doing some amazing things in this county. We've really made

an impact on people's lives. Go ahead and talk about it. So I think one of the best parts of this job, and there are some very hard parts, you know, usually when we're responding something terrible has happened. But one of the great things about this is we are number one. We help people moving forward after something terrible has happened. Very often we're the first people they're meeting with the police. Can you cite some an example like the

listeners so they understand. So for instance, someone may lose somebody in a terrible driving under the influence crash, So there's that awful knock at the door

being told that something's happened. Now you're then catapulted into sort of a whole different world of somebody maybe has been arrested, charged with what happened, or we're doing an investigation to figure out what happened, and our working with our attorneys and our advocates, we're helping you to understand that process, keeping you updated on what's happening, and then really partnering with families to help them get

through the trial if we ultimately apprehend somebody and get to a resolution. So there's that piece. The other great piece is we are able to take things that we learn from when something happens and turn that into prevention, because it's always better if people never meet us, if the crime doesn't happened. You know, we've this morning, I was doing work with senior citizens, talking to them about how to avoid being scammed. So we've seen from people who've

lost literally hundreds of thousands of dollars. How they were trapped in that scam, yeah, and how they're trying to prevent them. Ray's mother got the grandmother scam where the grandson called it. And she's going, it doesn't really sound like you. Yeah, my nose is brunque was broken. Yeah,

And she went and she bought gift cards like this is. She has passed away now a few years ago from pancreatic cancer, but she was sick of the time and she still left the house on chemo and everything else, and went and bought these gift cards because they were a grandmother. They're going to take care of what they think somebody needs something like she and he said,

don't don't call my father, please write And so she didn't call. And then by like the third time they told her to go back, She's like, I better call somebody. This this can't be right. And of course she called Ray and then ways like, well would you do so yes, I mean, so that's what you're doing. You're doing preventing what we learned from what happens. Then we take that out into the community to say, you know, we know people are doing this. So for instance, people

now don't ask you for the gift card because that takes too long. They just ask you to rub the back of the gift card and give them the number. So you know, the bad guys get ahead of us, and we try to take that information and share it with people so that they can avoid this because we literally see hundreds of thousands of dollars and we are these bad guys in other countries or they not always sometimes they're here. Sometimes the

money goes out of the country. Sometimes you have people here who are channeling the money to somebody else. Remember that crazy call about ever Source and you called the guy out. I get a lot of crazy calls. Somebody said he was ever Source and that we hadn't paid the bill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, ever Saurce. That was another scam. I'm like, buddy, you're calling the wrong person. We pay our bills there, Okay, no, no, no, we're going to shut your power. Well,

then shut my power off. I'll be waiting. We'll be sitting here waiting for you shut our power off. But see, that's exactly when you say it's going to happen, like you'll often people will often get a phone call saying you Social Security checks are not coming. Well, now they're in a panic. What am I going to do? Or we Today when I was doing the program, somebody said they had called and said, the state police are going to arrest you because your credit card was used to buy guns.

They're coming. He was in a panic, like, the state police are going to come and arrest me. What do I do? Well, the way you can fix this is give me your social Security number and send us some money. But that's what people get frightening, especially if you know. And one of the things we in another piece of what we've been looking at is we forget how lonely people are sometimes and they're in their house by themselves.

Maybe they don't have family that they That's why we should go back in time and live in three deca families again in some of them okay, and grandmother, your great grandmother and the kids, and then everybody lived longer because everyone's happy, right, I think, I don't know, maybe not, maybe maybe not. But so that's what you're doing out there. You're also

doing prevention. You're doing we're really doing education. We're doing the That seems like a lot of work for your for you and your team to be dealing with I have a wonderful team with all the crime that goes on also too, because that's really what you are. We have what's coming in the door immediately, we're working on our old uncharged cases, and then we're trying to

do the prevention and education piece as well. Lustress. How many city and towns are in middles fifty four it's a lot, Yeah, just about one point eight million people. We are the biggest county. I was gonna say that the population is of the Mississippi. Okay, So how many counties do we have? We have Norfolk. We've eleven in Middlesex. I mean in Massachusetts. So what are they? Suffolk, Middlesex, Norfolk, Hampden, Franklin, Worcester. Yeah, I can't vote North Suffolk. That's all I

hear. You probably live in Norfolk, she does, Yeah, you do brooklines at Norfolk. Norfolk. Yeah, but you're Suffolk. I'm Middlesex, Middlesex. Yeah, because RUSSI said she's not part of our but where where where we grew up new and is part of Middlesex. Yeah I knew it was Middlesex and Stuffolk is Boston, right, got it? What it's why

I ask, because most people don't know that. And then you run yours the way you want to run, they run the way they want to run, and then you all ever get together and run once a month, well, once a month we meet to just kind of talk over issues that affect all of us, that sort of thing, got it? What's the biggest issue right now? And we don't want to talk about that because we've got a lot of issues. I would say the biggest issue for everyone everywhere is

mental health. I'd have to agree with that. Yeah, I mean probably eighty five percent of every case of the cases we see, there's some mental health piece that's going on there. And now we have less psychiatrists and we don't have enough to go around right now, right, So what do you do? We are you going to do? People are just a little bit off, right, Like I I've suffed from panic attacks since twenty six years old, so I understand it. And people just go, Cindy Stumble's got

panic attacks, Yeah, she does, imagine that. Why, I don't know. Ask my mother and my grandmother because they gave them to me, because they have them. But back then at twenty six, they want to blame it on PTSD. You know, no, no genetics, thank you very much, nean orm. But well, genetics are a huge piece. It's also you know, we have this whole everything we've been through, it had a ketch up on this right, being locked down COVID working under the

conditions. I was working full time. We were essential as you know in Massachusetts as builders. But that wasn't a good way to be working. Being afraid. You're you're afraid, you're I mean, I don't know anybody that wasn't besides my kids not being afraid because it's literally spring my body with liphole. You were, but your brother was running around kissing everything in the world like you could care less, like he was in his twenties. Like I'm

not going to get this. If I get it, I'll be strong enough. And and then there's everybody else that we're going I'm i gonna end up an event lator I'm gonna endup dead. I mean, it's that was a tough time and now it's showing all. It's, you know, the ugliness that comes out of that, especially for young people, for kids. I don't know, I don't even want to be around big crowdsy would you, No, I know. I think of that now in a way I never did before. Like, what do I want to hold a Celtics game?

I love the Celtics, right, there's players let live in my homes. But I love you guys. I'll see you guys when you come home. Right, Like, I don't really need to go. I don't want to be there. It's a different like energy Boston experience. When you're there, you're good. And then I'll get home. I'll come home and I'll get sick. But hold that thought you're down. In one second, I'm Sidy stumbleing you listening Tough of Nails on WBZ News Radio ten thirty and We'll be

right back, sponsored by Flora Decor, National Lumber and Village Bank. Oh and Welcome back City Stumpo Toughest Nails on WBZ News Radio ten thirty and I'm in the studio with n Now you go. It's good, Sammy, she's the guest. She can go for you go first. I'm sorry Mary and Ryan the district attorney in Middlesex. I'm chopped liver today. Anyways, It's OK. Yeah, I fought with her the Peter Brady Why don't my kids ca learned financial literacy? Is that like so high to learn? It's easy

to be It's nice to be our kids. God, no, it's nice to be my brother. Okay, that's what my daughter would say too, it's nice to be her. What's wrong with these people? These kids like aliens? Like do you remember you got up and old? Went to was younger? Oh? Let me just ask them a very simple question. Have you been working your whole life? Yes? Have you been working as a teenager yes? Did you always have a job yes? Did you have to

be held responsible, reliable and dependable? And when your father and your mother gave you an eyebrow, did you know to go stage left? That look? That look we used to call it the look. The look, it's the one eyebrow looking. You went, okay, I pushed it. What's wrong with the concrete today that kids don't wait to democraticly? You know, my son's favorite word is pre much editor. I'm the oldest, therefore I should have that. That's say, okay, and I got all the rules,

so I was the oldest. Yeah, yeah, I'm the oldest. I got all the rules. And by the time everyone's like, get with everything. Sammy says when she has and they're going to be working by eight because that's a good idea. I like that idea. No, I just don't understand, like, come on, we had grit, we had grind, we had we had like we want to go. I'm eighteen, I'm out of here, Like mom and dad, I love you to death, but it's time for me to move all my life, like these kids want

to come home. She didn't really want me to go. I didn't want you to go because you're specially you're in erees. You're just a special. Two minutes ago, she wanted to punch my face special. No. No, I was going to beat her up earlier, but no, just told me leave everything that I don't need you. Yeah, she would have pitic

attack if I left. But at the end of the day, I just want her to understand that times have been good the last decade, right in our business, in our world and a lot of businesses, and now we're coming into some shaky waters on water waters, yeah, water, water, water, water waters. I just want her to know that it doesn't always last forever. And when you get into business when the market's great, and she did. She came into a good market at twenty six, twenty six,

twenty seven. These kids haven't felt what a bad market feels like. But see, we will take care of that for them, don't we. We will make it all good. But we hope we can make it all good. But here's the difference. I could vicariously live through older people when they told me a story this generation can't. Like if my mother and grandmother told me a story of my grandfather, I listened right, and I could put myself in their shoes. For some reason, maybe that was just a

talent that some people have, but I believe them. They're my parents, my grandparents. They don't want the best for me, not the worst for us. Right. But to go back to what we're talking about priors again to our personal life with our kids is mental illness. And that's that's a big root of the problems going on right now. Big root of it is in some cases that is because people didn't get care for a long time, you know, for two or three years, they really didn't get care.

There also is just a real shortage of mental health professionals that are available to and there's also just and people forget this. And we've been doing a lot of work around. This is just loneliness. You know, people spend so much time kind of in their own head and on their own devices, they're really unable to interact. And I'll give you a couple of examples. We

started two programs. One we started in schools, in middle schools, which is called Nobody Eats Alone, because kids are just left a lot of times kids are just they're the kid who's left at the table by themselves. So it's a program where kids really agree to reach out if they see somebody alone. And the starting I think they are doing it. I mean the place

the schools we've started, kids seem to really respond to it. The schools have been good about putting together groups of kids, like maybe it's the class officers, maybe it's the sports teams. And I think when you really explain to kids how important it is, kids have been good. I'm always impressed with kids. I just did a group and a lot of the kids talked about how they have had at some point been new in the school, so they knew what it felt like to be kind of the new person or to

be the person who didn't have a friend. We've also been in a lot of communities we've been buying benches and again I want to break in on that one. Okay, yeah, with my own personal opinion experience, My mommy didn't hold my hand. They moved me from the North Shore thirteen to new and I had a culture shark walking through that school. I was like, well, these kids are weird. This is all They bring me back to where I came from, right, Like, I don't want to be here.

But no one held my hand and said, oh honey, it's gonna be great. I just had to go do what I had to do, Like I had to go and make new friends, and no one held my hand and no one cuddled me, and oh, Cindy, will let me walk you through the school. My mom dropped me off, went's a guns councilor I checked in and from that point she stayed with me out the door. She went out the door. I went and had to figure it out, find the way around school, all of it. But so probably two

things. There. Certainly are kids, and you probably were one of those kids who are more resilient and who can do that. Well, you had to learn that, well you learn it, and some kids aren't is able to do that sometimes and the other piece of it, I think is we were all more engaged with each other because think about you walk through places, people's heads are glued to their phone or their device, right, so they're not reaching out to another kid. They're busy with whatever they in school.

Well, that's a whole difference. When did it become normal that you could bring your phone to school? Right? Like? When? However, and my grandmother said to her, my grandmother has been passed away now for eight years, said to my kids ten years ago, when we were shooting Tapa's nails, you see what you're holding. That's going to be the downfall of this country. She was right. Do you remember Nana saying that to you holding that Apple iPhone, like this is going to be the device that's what's

going to take this country down. But again, she's been waiting for the depression. She was waiting for the depression to come back to her. Right, so we can we wasn't my choice to have a phone at school? That was yours because you were so scared, well, because I wanted to be able to read. But back back then, you didn't have the Internet on your phone. You had a phone number. I called you, you answered it. That's it, not looking at TikTok and bomba bah. So

you're right, people's heads are in phones. I mean, we see an incredible number of pedestrian accidents because people are busy with their phone. We have driving situations where people are just they're watching a movie on their phone while they're trying to drive. That's crazy. Yeah, but people are doing even even and we're all addicted to this, right. We all use our ways or our maps or whatever going how to use mind. I do the old fashioned way. I put the window down. Hey, we as blah blah blah.

And people are just distracted by that stuff all the time, so that connectedness. Nobody talks to strangers. Now you get on a fresh subway or something, and everybody is just looking at their phone. It's a different way. It's a very different. But it changed really drastically, like only that will change and really that's it. Yea within ten years, yea, within ten years, I saw the change only to maybe. But you're right, people lonely. That's why audio devices are great. So if you are lonely,

there's place like xpace right, which is on Twitter. But I don't like go on my Twitter because all I see is bad things happening in schools, kids beating each other all you wants to send this in family group chat, and our algorithm to be really negative. Yeah, my algorithm is very

bad. But then I watch one and I want to watch another, And then I watch another and I don't understand why these kids are beating each other up at school and hitting teachers, And come, I'm not like this little like little lady with a cane, like I get life, right, but we as parents, like you don't put your hands on teachers, Like this is all crazy. That is what I'm watching. But again, that's where my algorithm is pulling me to because the more you watch that, the more

you get right. So I don't see nice kids doing nice things in school right now. And there's lots of that. There are really lots of that. We put in a lot of loneliness benches, a lot of them located between like schools and senior housing, so people sit and talk to people. You know, that's really worked and it sounds like a real throwback idea, but it's a place for some I like to just sit down. We put

a bench in in Lowell between a senior housing in a school. So if you live at the senior housing and it's a nice day, you can go sit out there. The kids go over and sit on the bench. It's been a real back to what you said, sort of that community feeling of people knowing people. But if you think about this, and this is what kids don't understand, and I say it all the time, sit down with

an elderly person, talk to them, hear their life story. You learn more from that one conversation than you might learn in one year in school because you're learning somebody else's journey, what they've been through. And if you're empathetic and you're cure enough, that's why older people need to talk to kids all But maybe I shouldn't be talking to my kids. You talk to my kids. I talk to your kids. Mister builder, I'll take your son.

I'll give you my son, because then there's a different respect factor. But I think we've lost so much it's crazy. And then you have so much to worry about with all the crime that goes on. Just we are we up and crime we're down in crime. Crime is unfortunately, crime is down in Middlesex County, really down. Fortunately it's down, yeah, so down, meaning what the hard crime or the robberies, or like the shootings, or because the hot crime seems to be down but the stealing is up.

I will say the only thing that is probably it's down, but it's not down as much as we would like. Our younger people with guns. And we're fortunate because in part because we live five minutes from great hospitals, so we have lots of kids who survive things that if we live somewhere else. Oh, I thought we could to go to break right now? Is thinking that my face? I'm Sinny Stumbley. He looks a tough of his nails.

On w BZ News Radio ten theory Be right Back, sponsored by Pillow Windows of Boston, Next Day Molding and Kennedy Carpet and Welcome back to Tums Nails on w BZ News Radio ten thirty. And I'm here with the lovely Marion Ryan, the District Attorney Middlesex County. There you go, and Samantha the one that when we leave here with Ncarote. No, I love in

Knockarot. I like that, not growth the price what we say to you know, we've had an uptick in those situations with people shooting at each other, shooting at members of different groups, and those things are very scary, even when no one gets hurt, because they're scary in a neighborhood. We

have a bill that became part of that. We filed a bill that became part of the gun bill for people shooting at houses because we've had an incredible number of cases where people are the age group of those kids, I'd say old the people shooting at house eighteen to twenty seven, twenty eight, you know that ten years, so it's not fourteen, fifteen year old. Now we have that isn't true in some places, we haven't really seen that.

It's older kids, and you know is shooting it houses, whether I'm doing it to scare you or One of the things that's very frightening now is people have guns that can shoot a lot more. They're automatic, whether they've got one of the little switches or their ghost guns. So we would use to go to a crime scene and we might see seven or eight casings on the ground. It's not unusual now to go and there might be thirty five or

forty on the ground. So that's how many shots have been fired. And when you do that, especially in city areas, you end up with houses that get hit. So if you think about what it's like for the people in that neighborhood or people who live in those houses. We've had some really terrifying things. Things have gone through people's windows, gone in the walls of their houses. That's what ends in neighborhood because if you have any resources at

all, you think I'm getting my family out of here. I'm certainly not leaving my kids out to play when something like that might happen. So that's a big focus is really we take a very hard line on gun cases. You know, you just can't be out there doing this random shooting. Do we have enough cops to go around these areas? I would say short. I would say the majority of cities and towns in Massachusetts right now would tell

you that they are low on enrollment. We do have great police departments across our county, people who really partner with us when we make an effort to say, you know, we're going to target this or that in certain communities, and that is made an enormous difference. We've seen a lot of that in our approach to drug overdoses and things. We've done a lot of partnerships

and push those numbers down pretty dramatically. I feel like in high school there was like a waiting list for people to want to be a Newton cop. Yeah there was, there was, But here you are like my friend's parents, Those kids wanted to be cops, and they're like, I'd have to be in a waiting list. I don't think i'd get in. And now you know, we just turned over in Brookline that you don't have to live in Brookline for a year, which is great, but I mean we've pushed

that so hard. Can kids, young guys and girls afford to live in Brookline for a year and pay rent so then they can apply to the police force? Right? Maybe get in then? Oh no, I mean we need we need police officers. That's that's for sure. Look as far as I'm concerned, I stick by this and we you know, and I put all these about Brookline police to come to Brookline. You'll see about four hundred and fifty signs near where I live. You know, we're backing the Brookline

police. We're proud, you know, the Brookline Police. What's the sign actually say, spend five thousand dollars on these signs? We support the Brookline Police. Yes, because I feel like a lot of these police offices have just been so disrespected the last four years plus, right that the morale is not there, and you've got to lift their morale too. Look, I'm not going to say there's always a bad doctor, a bad lawyer, a bad build financial advisor, a bad builder, a bad HVAC guy, bad

plumber, a bad cop. You're not going to stop that. I mean, but the majority are not bad as far as I'm concerned, they're not. And you know they're not theater. Look, when we were young and a cop torch just we deserved it. That's the truth. We deserved it. Okay, we're being punks, we're being jerks out there. I feel like as a kid though, everyone was like I want to be a cop, I want to be a fighter fighter. That's like all you ever heard.

I wonder if that's anything like that anymore. No, they want to be influences. What's wrong with you? They're going to be influences. That's what they think. They come to like the school fair or whatever and say this is the day, the day that you decide what you want to be. You're going to bring an influencer to school that day and be like, this is what I want to do. Yeah. Do they just love that

way they bring parents into talk? I think so do they. So our big, our big problem is, as you said, is guns on the streets. And then people that can legally have a gun, they go and they get a license to have a gun, and they're mentally and physically healthy to have a gun. And then you got people that are going to be illegal and do illegal things in criminal activity. They're going to find guns. They're going to find it no matter what. It's not hard to find a

gun. You also have a lot of people who may be got a license to have a gun, and over time, you know, a mental health issue has arisen. I mean we've seen lots of those. You know, somebody who might have been perfectly fine when they got their license, may we need to renew us. Ten years has gone by or something, and things have happened. And that's why, you know, some of the things that we've passed to Massachusetts, like the red Flag law, really important because the

chief of police gives you a license. Now the chief of police is not traveling around with you every day and maybe seeing what's going on with you. That's why it's really so important, for instance, for families, when you see somebody who's struggling to make that known so that they don't necessarily have their gun. Well, what about renewing, Like you have to renew your driver's

license, why don't you have to renew your gun license? Well, even when you do, though, the authorities, I see a snapshot of you. You know, it's like when you go to renew your driver's license, they see you for the ten minutes you're in the registry office. They don't know that you drive in a very crazy way when you're out on the road. And that's why we've really been encouraging people, or especially when people get older. You know, there are people who maybe they get older, they're

physical and mental health has declined. Maybe they shouldn't have their guns anymore. You lost your glasses already. I just handed them to you. No, I did. I gave up. When I first went through a metopause, I heard it ray I'm a licensed carrier. I said, lock this up. Lock it up for two years. I want nothing to do with it, because my menopause would make me feel like, oh it cockle crazy. Right. So, but I think when you know that you're cucko crazy,

then you really not cuckoo crazy. But I just felt more comfortable here locked this up because I could say I'm a little bit more emotional, and I came out of it whatever, and then I went back to Cindy. But you have to know when to lock something up and put it away and don't carry it right and you got to no, you're But sometimes sick people don't know. They don't know that. That's how you know the difference. I once asked. I was interviewing a doctor and he said, I said,

do you think I'm crazy because I talked to myself? He goes, no, are you answering yourself back? I go no, he goes, then you're normal. It is when you're start answering yourself back and it comes to another voice and you're crazy. Cindy, You're like, okay, good to know that. So gun, what about what else do we have? Like in our area a lot of our crime and break ins that's been our area. Well, we just we just made arrests in that very large, long

term investigation where people who were Indian and Southeast Asian had been targeted. That was a nine months investigation. Yeah, we arrested four people down in Kinnecticut and Rhode Island for that, and that was that was frightening because you know, if you've ever had your house broken into, you know, it's terrible. Somebody's been in your house, They've been touching your things, they took

your things. This was compounded by the fact that not only was that happening, but people realized that, you know, not every house on the street was getting broken into. It was only primarily families that were Indian or Southeast Asian. So then you wonder, like, who's targeting me? How do people figure out that it's me? And we're still looking at that part of

the investigation. But for instance, one of the things we found during the arrest were a membershipless for temples, so clearly there was they did have information about who belonged to this temple, could probably predict, you know, when they wouldn't be home, when they'd be at a service, that sort of thing. So that was truly frightening for people. What's coming on us next, I would say the mental health issues continuing. I think we're also going

to see a lot more of the cyber kinds of crimes. You know, the AI, the deep fakes AI is going to be. Look, I can tell AI in literally three seconds to build a city stample home and because there's so many homes on the internet, it comes up with a like this, So how hard it is going to be? Put me my face or on a naked body or vice versa, or me talk like I'm you. You talk like I'm me and I'm not you and you're not me, and

you're saying things that would be me and vice versa. I mean, I don't know about I'll say again, there's always something good, but then we find the bad in it. That's great, but then you gotta find the you know, you have to bring the bad into it. So there's things like we rely on surveillance, video and photos and things. Those can all be altered by AI. Will come to Brookline. You're everybody's going to body. We're protecting everybody there. It's crazy. But the other things that people

have to understand is that you've been doing this job for eleven years. How many other have held that position for as long as you've told it? Many or not, there's a few. So there's a reason why you hold a position for eleven years. But how many women? How many women? That's a good one. I like that one, Sammy. No other woman has been da this long. I like that, Sammy. That's a fist pump. I need a fifth pump right now. We're not going to throw you

out today. She just retrieved herself. Oh no, we're going to break. I'm to be stupling. Listen to I Was Nails on WBZ News Radio ten thirty. It will be right back, sponsored by new Brook Realty Group, Boston Wood Smaller Insurance, World Auto Body and Tosca Drive Auto Body And welcome back to Tapa's Nails on WBZ News Radio ten thirty. And I'm Sidney Stumpo and I'm sitting here with the lovely maryon Ryan, the District Attorney of

Middlesex County. And she's tough. And who else, Samantha Smithy. That was a great question. I gotta give you. I'm not gonna let anything go that you did earlier. You just saved her. Now I can ask for things now. Earlier. It wasn't earlier. I was getting disowned this own. She's like, Mom, I make a strong living. Why are you telling me that I should be spending that much money because you shouldn't because you're safe for rain day? Did your parents tell you safe for rainy day?

Is that just stuck in our brains? We ever hear of that? No, but it's the truth, right, Yeah, I'm not crazy? Right, Well, I can't speak to that, but you're not. It's crazy, but I'm not crazy about that, correct. I like that. I'm crazy. I want to be those crazy just but not crazy about that.

So talk to me about domestic violence. Talk to me. I saw a lot of that going on. Who COVID a lot of it with our police because they hang out of my job nights and all of a sudden, there's four and then they're gone, right, and I know where they're going. I can get the calls coming through what's going on domestic So we've created a lot of partnerships that really are a reflection of we all know the response we had thirty years ago. You know, the police go out, we

kind of separate people. We hope it gets better. That wasn't very effective. What has been effective is helping people to really find a way out of that life. So for instance, and having people that aren't police to be

supportive of them. So we created a program brought it to Middlesex about eleven years ago called the Cut It Out Program, where we train hairdressers, folks who do personal services, people who do your nails, who do a facial, even restaurant workers what the signs are of domestic violence, because there are lots of injuries that are inflicted in domestic violence cases that don't happen in any

other case. So, for instance, there is no other crime where people pull out a clump of hair, but that happens very often in a domestic violence case. And I pull out a clump of hair in the back of your head, it hurts unbelievably, but you can comb your hair down and you can go to work, and no one else sees that you go to the hair salon that your hairdresser sees those clumps. They see the little petiki, the first blood vessels in your eye, they'll see the little marks on

your neck where somebody's grabbed you and choked you. So we've trained those providers for what the signs are, to look for, and then how to approach. I mean, you can't say gee, you know being abused at home. No one's going to say g I am, but how to kind of ask questions that are not threatening or to And when we do it, we go with people from the local shelters and police officers. So it's not a person and saying you know, I've heard there's a shelter you could go to.

They're saying there's a shelter down on Washington Street. The woman's name is Samantha, whatever it is, and they can give people those kinds of connections. So we've now trained several thousand people across Middlesex County to what to look for, how to reach out for help, give me the delivery. So the hairdresser sees a hole in a woman's head, see the hare has been pulled out, Does she engage in a conversation? Does she call somewhere to

somebody come out and engage. No, that we train people to be able to ask that question about starting out, you know, depending on what your relationship obviously is. But you know, I notice you've lost some hair back here. Okay. You know, somebody might say, well, it's my medication, it's whatever, And now they've come back twice and you've now seen different big clumps, so you might be asking and maybe even just the question

of are you safe. And when we do that training, what people tell us who've been doing that work for a long time, they've all seen it and they didn't know what to do with it. We give them something they can be doing about it those questions. Maybe you just say, you know, I know, you say you're fine, but let me just tell you. There's this woman, you know, Alice, who works down the street.

Here's her number. You might want to talk to her. What we know and what the studies bear out is that people often have to hear that five or six times before they're ready to do something. It's not very likely that someone's going to suddenly say, you're right, I'm in an abusive relationship. I short of seen that, but maybe I worked. They think about idiots, so I know they think about it, and then they feel safer because now you've given them an actual person. They know you, and they

feel safer saying things you know. You know how it is with your hairdresser. You know your hairdresser forever. They know all kinds of stuff, and what's really important is they're usually kind of separated from the rest of your life, so you can say things there that aren't going to get back to your work, that aren't going to get back to your family. People sort of trust that, and over time, many of them end up coming forward and saying, you know, somebody cared about me. They asked if I was

okay. They're living often in a very frightening reality and for somebody to just reach in and care about them is really important. So that program's been really successful. Let's make this clear to the audience. Domestic violence happens in poor, middle class, and rich and ultra ultra rich. It lives in every kind. Doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter. That's why I like

my show. We can talk about whatever goes on between the foundation roof, and Samuel'll tell you I'm a huge on domestic in conversations with this, We've done so many conversations. But look, my experience is that sometimes we can get the families, the women and the children out of the houses and put them in they have their own apartment, especially the brook Few house in Roxbury

to bedroom. They get in there and sometimes they want to leave in five, six, ten, twelve nights right because they only remember the good or their promise this is not going to happen again, and come home and things are going to be different. But leopards don't change their spots. They would have to go through so much psychiatry to even change that. But again, the woman is used to I've got my husband, I've got my roof over my head, I'm not in some strange area, I'm not in a shelter,

and they start to justify that this is okay. I've seen it so many times, and a lot of times obviously it's about children, you know, you know, I don't want my children not to be with their father, my children were. It's very hard for somebody, and as you said, it's in all kinds of communities. Sometimes in a in a more affluent situation, it's very hard to lead that because you don't want to be abused, but you also don't want your kids to have given up all of their

friends. They're not going to their same school in the house. Yes, let's call it what it is. Right. We tolerate, but we tolerate because sometimes, well, I'm living a nice life. Sometimes I've heard that, but Cindy, I live a nice life. No, you're not living a nice life. Well, and you know until it life is that you're when you go home. Everybody should go home and feel safe. Right you're in the streets, you're hanging, you're doing whatever, you're working. I'm

on construction. I'll go home. I want to feel safe. Everybody should feel safe when they go home. Everybody should have a partner that makes them feel safe. But I tell you some of the stuff I'm watching next. These women can throw down as good as the men can. Right now, I wouldn't want to bang on some of these women either. They can throw down. They really can. Well, that's another and that's another piece of it. You know, people think about domestic islands in its very traditional way.

It is, you know, a traditional couple, usually a female who's the victim. We're seeing a lot more. For instance, people don't think about this. We see couples that have been married fifty or sixty years and there's an abusive situation going on. Maybe they're both on well, maybe one of them just reques. There's a lot of care people who maybe things were sort of okay when they worked and they were away from each other a lot of the time. Now they're home together, you know that retire Yeah,

that's not that's not what people expect, you know, we have. We have victims in domestic violence cases who are eighty years old, and that it poses a whole lot of different challenges. That person is not as portable or able to go to a shelter. They got it, They need their medication, they need to be in their home. There's just sort of a lot of other issues. We also have a large number of adult children who, because of mental health issues or substance issues, are back living with their parents.

That situation phrase very often. Somebody doesn't want to take their medication, they won't go get a job, the fight starts. You know, you've got an eighty year old mother and a forty year old son. You know, we see a lot of that, and people don't think about that as domestic violence, but it is. Yeah, any of you children put in the head and whoever thought you'd see boys sixteen, seventeen fifty putting their hands on their father's I mean, this is I'm seeing this. Yeah, whether

it's Newton, brook Line, Revere not sure. So I'm seeing it, I'm hearing it. I'm seeing it. It's not normal. But what do you do? You lock up these kids, You lock up the kids that are hitting their parents. You lock up the husband that said his wife you lock up, Well, I think we en have jails to go around right now for everybody. But what about reopening mental hospitals Again, well, I

think we certainly right now. There's certainly even if there were situations where people thought that was good, and clearly we people didn't have an opportunity to do a lot of things they were able to do safely in communities. But the biggest problem right now is we don't have enough mental health workers. We just can't fill them. We're going to get them because they're not coming out of

school, they don't want this job. They're hard jobs, they're not the best paying jobs, and you can spend a lot of money to get the education to do that job. So we have to think of a different model of how to provide that gear. And the insurance companies are terrible. Unless you're very rich and you need help for your kids with drugs and any of the unless you're going to write a check for eighty eighty five thousand a month,

you're not getting a kid help you there. Okay, Anyways, I'm sending you stuff when you will send Tess Nails on WVZ News Radio ten thirty and'll be right back please and welcome back to Toughness Nails on WBZ News Radio ten thirty. And I had a lovely guest here tonight, which is Marion

Ryan, the District Attorney in Middlesex County. Glad you take it. We've had a great opportunity to talk about some of the work that we're doing, some of the programs that we have, particularly proud of our Unsolved Case Unit. So please go to our website, Middlesex da'soffice dot com and look at both the programs that are out there that are available, some of the tips about keeping people safe, and also please look at the work we're doing around

uncharged and unsolved cases. And I'm Sidney Stumpo, and I got to get right behind her because I've been backing her if I don't know how many years now. I respect Maria and I appreciate it. I think she's great at what she does. And I put my money where my mouth is. Everybody, have a great safe weekend, and we'll see you next week. And this is Sidney Stumpo Tough his Nails on ws Thank you Seemy, WBZ News Radio ten thirty