Yeah, love it, man. Halloween. Let's do it. We're filming on a Halloween day. I'm in Eugene, Oregon today.
Oh, are you doing show there?
Yeah, I'm performing in Eugene. This weekend. I'm doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday, this weekend in Eugene. And then on Sunday, I go to Seattle just to do that special kiss. Show.
Great. The Oregon thing isn't a kiss one.
The Oregon thing is getting ready for a comedy special that I'm going to film. And I'm trying to get my material together for that show, and then and then Sunday is there's a couple of things I got like that are in the mix. I'm getting ready to film a comedy special. Doing a couple of Kiss themed comedy shows, which is why I wanted to come on with you. I'm doing these shows were beginning to end. All I'm going to do is just make fun of Kiss.
And it's essentially what I do when I perform with Kiss on the kiss cruise. Every time I perform with Kiss on the kiss cruises, I always end up doing to one hour shows all about kiss about all my run ins with them all the times and I just get scared around them. You know, and but I'm getting ahead of myself. So I'll let you drive. Go ahead. However,
this is all good. So whenever you're, I mean, we're recording but I could chop up our offer and just we could start now or whenever you want whenever you're ready.
Yeah, jump in. Let's do it. All right. Well,
yeah. Welcome, Craig. Yes. Welcome back, I guess like yeah, one of my first guests amazing that you're still coming back here after all these years.
Yeah, man. We talked about music and Seahawks. Because we both love the Seahawks.
Yeah, music and comedy, too. I love comedy. I'm a super fan of all that stuff, just like you.
Yeah, I'm still a huge, huge fan of comedy. Every city that I go to. I usually hit up local, open mic comedy shows. I love just being around people who want to be around comedy. So yeah, and I love the fact that they can see my favorite comedians for free. That's amazing and work with them. So
do you ever feel like that's like a because I feel like for me, it's kind of like a strength and a weakness being a superfan because I just get some people are like, Oh, you're fanboying out too much. Do you ever feel like it hurts you in some ways?
For sure I do that that first episode of Family Guy ever did. All right. I completely creeped out Seth MacFarlane, which was you know, I go in. And I'm working on the show. And I just all the TV shows I've been on. I've been really lucky. They're all huge TV shows. I just never watched. I never watched King of Queens until I was on it. I never watch Sex in the City until I was on it. But Family Guy obsessed with a family guy. So my first recording session, it's me and
Seth MacFarlane. And the whole recording session lasted like maybe five minutes. And I'm already coming off a little too strong. When I walk in. I'm laughing too hard at his jokes. Because I remember one time, him saying something mildly funny and I went. And he was like, relax to just just calm down just we're gonna record to just take a minute. And the whole session was just Seth kept doing one line. As Peter Griffin we kept saying this is crazier than when Al Pacino was a slumlord
laundromat tenant. And they cut to me. It's Al Pacino, surrounded by a bunch of broken down washers and dryers gone. You're out of order. And you're out of order, and your role. We do that three times. And then Seth MacFarlane running the board. He goes, alright, man, I think we're good to go. But I'm so nervous because I think we're going to be friends now that I go. Alright. So you want to hang out or and he goes, What do you mean, hang out and go. You want to grab a coffee or something?
And he goes, I gotta go. And I said, Okay. Do you want me to leave? And he goes, Yeah, get the fuck out. Oh, my papers. He's like, I gotta work. I gotta work. And I was like, oh, okay, yeah. And then I grabbed my shit. I walk out. I don't hear from them again for like six months. And then Linda, the old casting director there started calling me again and saying, Hey, Craig, can you do this voice or this voice? I said,
Yeah, whatever you need. And every time they brought me in to do another episode of Family Guy or American Dad, Linda's or not
Linda. Seth is never around. It's always it was always this guy, Mike Henry, who does the voice of Cleveland and and every time I'd see Mike Henry go, Hey, Mike is Seth around and every time I see him to go Don't worry about Seth we'll get you out of here real quick and Oh, yet yeah, yeah that said a lot man that said a lot but yeah, dude I get I get nervous i i Don't get nervous around musicians anymore because musicians are always coming to my shows I get I get nervous around usually athletes
because I'm not athletic whatsoever so I really respect the athletes that I've cheered for on TV, you know, and but musicians Council
dark one that's another one that you
Yeah, Matt has like I really I creeped out Matt Hasselbeck and, and Matt let me I was just thinking about this the other day Matt let me film a whole sketch in the parking lot of a training camp for the Indianapolis Colts when he was playing for the Colts. And I brought comedian Chris Porter with me. And it's online. He he helped me put the whole thing together. I was I go hey, I got this idea. Like, you know where I'm just kind of creepy. And I just showed me he goes, Oh, this
will be easy. He goes you're already
creepy. Was this after he unfollowed you on Twitter?
Yeah, this this was after he unfollowed me. But he would I was in Indianapolis, doing local radio talking about how lucky the city was to have Matt Hasselbeck and how much I loved him. And somebody from the Colts called me and said, Hey, Matt would like to invite you to practice and I was like, wow. Oh, and then they said it. They said, and Matt said, if there's anything you'd like to film, he he's open for filming something and I was like, I have an idea.
It's really simple. It's just me showing up at is originally I wanted to do it at at work like the the food hall area where all the players eat. I just taught me a bad show up there and creep him out there. And Matt said, Wouldn't it be funnier if we were in the parking lot and you just showed up in the parking lot at my car? And I was like, That is a lot funnier. You know what, let's do that. Then we found it. It was like we literally did it in two takes Matt was like, You are creepy.
So it'll be easy to react to this. And he knocked it out of the park. And yeah, it was it was crazy, man. It was crazy. But I'm on YouTube. It's on YouTube. Yeah. If you Google my name and Matt Hasselbeck, you'll see that sketch on YouTube. And but the other night, literally two nights ago, I just saw kiss in Austin. And, you know, I've been making jokes about the band, specifically about Jean. And how much he scares me for years because I mean, we have a
history together. The guy confronted me live on the air, right years ago and then and then I crashed one of his interviews dressed up as Gene Simmons and, and the other night in Austin. I happened to be in the hallway where the band's dressing room was. comedian George Lopez was sitting there and and I saw Gene Simmons forecast to five minutes for that. They're about to go on stage. And Gene is sitting in a chair. And George goes, Did you say hi to him? And I go, I'm not
bothering him. And then he goes, Oh, come on, man. Hey, hey, gee, gee, look who's here, man. It's Craig Gass and G looked over and I was like, I don't want to buy the man. It's cool. You know? And he goes, and I go, and he goes, come here, come here. And I walked over, he stood up, and he gave me a hug. Like, he pulled me into his chest plate. And then he patted me on the head and said, You're a good boy.
Like you're a dog or something.
It was awesome. It was awesome. I mean, listen, we got to I don't know how much of your audience knows these stories. But
yeah, there's a hit. There's a bunch of them. Yeah, I think the kiss fan are you though? Like, it seems like every musician I interview is a kiss fan.
Yes, that is absolutely 100% True. Which is why the whole Rock and Roll Hall of Fame thing never made any sense because if one of the key ingredients to being in the Hall of Fame, if that's one of the qualifications, is that you are influential. Like everyone Jean and Paul's age say that The Beatles they remember watching the Beatles on Ed Sullivan changed their life. And everyone after kiss would say the same thing about kiss and that's every rock band after kiss talks
about kiss. You know Garth Brooks there's there's all kinds of music artists, all kinds of genres that were influenced by kiss. And they were to me, I grew up by the time I'm 1314 years old. They took the makeup off so look it up is the first kiss album I buy and then and all hell's breaking loose. I'm laughing because John five who's now in Motley Crue. Yeah, he has this Here's a page that he runs on Instagram called knights and
Satan service. And I ran into him somewhere where he said, Hey, man, I have this Instagram page knights and saints service, where I just film friends of mine. Doing a kiss Question of the week. Do you mind if I put you on? The question of the week is what's your favorite kiss song? I said, Of course. You wanna do it right now? And I go, Yeah, you want to Okay, go ahead. Ready? Alright. Hey, comedian Craig Gass here. You
might want to Google that. I am a huge kiss fan and my all time kiss song favorite song of all time. It's actually a tie. I have two of them. One is all hell's breaking loose. Off the Likud out liquored up album. And unholy, my two favorite kiss songs of all time, both of those songs coincidentally, written by Vinnie Vincent, which is why I now own a long line of women's leisure suits. And John was oh, we can't know because we got to redo that. And I was like, that's great. Because now we got
to redo it. I can't say that. No, like, Dude, it's funny. It's funny. And he's like, No, we got to redo it, and maybe redo it. And I was bummed out about that. But, but yeah, I became a kiss fan when I was 13 when they taking the makeup off. And then it was well over 10 years later, they put the makeup back on, and I get to experience that kind of a show. But I start doing impressions of those guys on The
Howard Stern Show. Again, my life seems to change as it happens because I start getting contacted by kiss fans, and then kiss employees. And then Gene Simmons shows up and then everything just made a hard turn because the impression of Gene Simmons that I do, which by the way, I was given great advice years and years ago from a friend of mine who works for Aerosmith. named John Pinelli, John taught me if you want to do a Gene Simmons impression. Listen to Benjamin Netanyahu. It's the same voice.
Hi, this is Benjamin Netanyahu. From kiss, it's the same voice. And by the way, that guy John worked for Aerosmith. For years. That's how we would talk to each other he'll pick up the phone go. Hello, no, go I John. This is Gene Simmons. From kiss and I'll go What's up, Jean? Not much. Listen, I hope you don't mind. But Errol Smith's entire catalog is available for 4995 at kiss online.com. Well, that's crazy. And something crazy happens. Kiss and Aerosmith. Put a tour
together. And John who's working in the front office for Aerosmith gets a phone call. They said Hey, John, it's a call for you. And he says yeah, put it through. He picks up and he goes Hello. Hi, John. This is Gene Simmons. From kiss and John goes what sappy, a Fat Jew bastard and there's a long pause and he hears I'm sorry. And there's another long pause and he goes, Craig and he goes, No, it's not Craig Gass. This is Gene Simmons. From kiss. Listen, I have a question for Steven and
Joe. And he went right into his question.
Didn't even bat an elegant, he's not offended or mad at that.
No, he in fact, apparently the other day, there's these new shirts that I sell at my shows that say Craig gas sucks in different logos and stuff. And one of one of the couple people from Kiss came to my show in Austin. All these shows I'm doing are the night before the kiss concerts in the cities, Austin, Seattle, and then New York City, the final shows of Kiss. I'm going to perform the night before and the night after the farewell shows
for kiss. And the employees for kiss are coming to the shows. And so one of their heads of security was wearing the Craig gas suck shirt. And he told me that Jean walked in and said, Where'd you get that? And he goes, Oh man, Craig gas did a show here in Austin last night. And he goes, Is he still talking about me and he goes a lot. And she goes good
is a part of the marketing strategy you think is to kind of just get the name out there doesn't matter how they want people talking about him. He's aware
enough to know that the jokes are still a love letter to the man. You know, it's like, you know, I'm a huge kiss fan and all the stories that I share about my run ins with Jean and again, these are just for a couple of shows that I'm doing. Seattle, Washington is Sunday, November 5, New York City December 3, November 30 and December 3, so I'm on the book ends of the last weekend of Kiss. I'm doing these shows where it just it's an hour of jokes about kiss and And he
knows that. I mean that first time he ever he confronted me live on The Howard Stern Show that day, I was headlining Caroline's for the first time ever, which is a big deal for a comedian. And someone told Jean they said, you know, Craig's got a big night tonight. He's he's doing Caroline's for the first time and Jean. I don't know why somebody gave me my fucking
phone number. Because he called me I didn't recognize the number so I let it go to voicemail and I still have this voicemail and this is the voicemail that launched this entire joke. He actually said on my voicemail when I checked it later. I Greg This is Gene Simmons. From kiss he actually said was from Kiss to those Yes. From kiss on my answering machine. Like I'm gonna confuse you with Gene Simmons from pet boys. Like I know who this is. Right? This Gene Simmons from
Kiss. I know that today's a big day for you. You're headlining Caroline's I want you to know the kiss army is behind you. And I support you. That's why I'm going to be in the front row. He came down to the show sat in the front row brought a bunch of women with them. And when I started doing my kiss jokes, Jean just started to lean back. You know, he's talking about me. Isn't that something like he loved it. In fact, I remember that night he invited me to a
strip club. And, and I went and he let me bring my two buddies with me who are also huge kiss fans. We go to the strip club, where we immediately get escorted to a back lounge. Where Jean there's a couple of couches, Jean sits down on one couch where he's just covered in strippers just completely covered in strippers. And me and my other two friends are on the other couch going.
Yay.
We're just cheering them on. Yay. And then Jean sees me through the crowd of strippers and goes, hold on. Ladies, let me ask you a question. Do you like stand up comedy? You do? Because this gentleman right here? This very powerful and attractive man? Is the gentleman who does the impression of me. Isn't that something? And the strippers all looked at me and I went, what's going on? And they all went nothing. And I was like, Oh, all right. Well, that's about right, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Impression form. No, I did. I mean, I thought that we were about to just start talking like normally.
And trying to throw you a bone a little bit of himself up.
But there's so many stories over the years of, you know, not just Jean but Paul and the other band members. Paul has always been really nice to me. Paul gave me his phone number, the very first night we ever met. He said, I love stand up comedy. I love what you do. Give me his phone number. I called him once. And it was the day after he gave me his phone number. I was jacked up on espresso. And I felt really confident and I called him up. He picked up the phone and he goes, hello. And they said,
Hi ball. This is Gene Simmons, from camps. And he went, Okay, and then I started selling them
kiss products. Like he fell for it. He just
and I just I finally stopped and said, I'm sorry. I go, Paul. It's Craig gas. I just wanted to say it was nice to meet you. Thank Thank you. Thank you for being so nice to me and blah, blah, blah. And And Paul said, you know, it's good to say You're starting to sound like that fucking comedian. And I was like, yeah. And then I realized I'm talking to Paul Stanley, and I go, all right. I gotta take a
shit. I'll see you like, I just I just wanted to get off the phone, you know, but But yeah, these shows are a lot of fun. And there's a lot of material there. You know, is there new
stuff from like, that's different from like the kiss cruise and the other stuff that you've done?
Absolutely. Because I've had so many experiences in the last couple of years.
Do you ever think of fictional like do you ever workshop new ideas of like, funny scenarios?
Well, it's funny. Paul handed me something a few months ago. I don't I don't think it was his intention to but we did this charity event in Detroit, where he doesn't like my impression him. And he's made it clear that doesn't like my he loves hearing my impressions on his answering machine. He called me, right, yeah, as Al Pacino and he said, I want you to do my voicemail. And then. So if you call Paul Stanley, you will hear and he made me edit this. The original one I sent him was,
Hi, this is Al Pacino. And you've reached the voicemail for the Stacia. Leave a message and get to the point. Nobody wants to hear you ramble on and on. If you ramble, I know where you live. I'm coming to your house. And I'm taking a flame thrower to that month. Have fun Got it. And I sent a note and said, let me know if you have any notes. And he texted me right back and said, Yeah, I have some notes. Why are you cursing and I was like, oh, and then you realize Paul never curses. He never
curses on stage. And I was like,
songs of curse. I'd have to think about that. Maybe not.
No. I mean, there's a whole lot of over the top sexual innuendo, like I'll put a log in your fireplace and
well, yeah, so last week, I had Tom warming on and he's famous producer. He told me the story that when they weren't wicked, Lester, then they they had a threesome with some girl in the drum booth. And I thought, oh my god, this is a great idea for you to the voices of Paul and gene in a threesome like that just sat? Doesn't that sound like a hilarious premise? It is.
So that was Paul and gene in the threesome of the girl in the drum booth. It was Paul and Jean. Yeah. Oh, wow. You know what? I bet it Have you ever seen the Paul and Paul and Gene fight on YouTube? What what? If you Google Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons fight, somebody took, like a totally unedited clip and throw it on YouTube. From Dick Clark's New Year's Eve. It's the raw footage of this interview they do with with Jean and Paul, and you see the producer in front of the
camera at the beginning. And he goes, Hey, Paul, hey, Jean, it looks like it kind of looks like I'm gonna guess the unholy era era, like, like around that time. Based on their look that they have, and he goes, Hey, so so I'm just gonna ask you just some simple questions. I just want to hear like some fun stories about what it's like being kiss and and then dick is going to cut to these clips on New Year's Eve. And they go Alright, yeah, we got we got, you know, their their total
pros. And the guy gets me on the camera, and he goes, Alright, so first question, gee, what's the craziest thing that anyone's ever asked you to autograph and Jean goes? Craziest thing that anyone's ever asked me to autograph, probably a baby. I autographed a baby. And then I handed it back. And they go, Paul, and Paul goes, you have a fake baby story. And Jean goes, he just kind of looks at him. And then
Paul answers a question. And they go gene, is it true that it's something along the lines of You can have any woman that you want on the road? And he goes, When you're in Kiss, you can do anything you want with any woman you want? They'll do whatever you say. And they go, Paul, same question. And he goes, you know, any idiot can make up stories about having sex on the road, but the reality is, and he starts giving some really straight answer and they go, gee, next question. And he goes,
Can we hold on? Can we? Can we stop for one second? Hold on? Why are you being such an asshole? And he's right, and Paul Stanley's face and Paul won't look at him. He goes, it's okay. Keep going. No, keep going. And he goes, No,
you're being an asshole. Like.
So it's not like a shouting match. But they are an old married couple, for sure. And they make it work. And they make it work. They absolutely make it work. There are different personalities. But you know, you, you you have disagreements with people that you love in your life, you know, you have moments where you know how to get on each other's nerves. And you do and it's just amazing to watch that happen.
But yeah, Paul and Jean with the threesome like, oh, yeah, let me like, you know, the idea of like, going out with that girl. And by the way, the Paul Stanley when we did the charity event together in Detroit. Paul said at the charity event, he goes, Craig, do your impression of me and I go, Hey, everybody, this is Paul Stanley. And Paul goes, you make me sound like I own a hair salon in Long Island. And I was like, that's a great premise for a
joke. Paul Stanley's hair salon. Come on, it'll give you a blowout. Come on. Let me hear people.
You wonder what those guys would do if they weren't in a rock band. Or if the rock band if it fell apart at one point, what would they Gene Simmons would be in some sort of used car salesman or some sort of business?
Yeah, I mean, those personalities don't apply to regular everyday life. And that's, that's why I've always admire them. You know, there's interviews that I've seen with them over the years that were, the confidence is what I was always drawn to. I was always attracted to that confidence of, I remember somebody saying, Paul, why is kiss so amazing? And he goes, you know, a lot of bands are envious of Kiss. I'm even envious of Kiss. And I was like, God, damn, I wish I had
that confidence. So what could they do outside what they're doing now? I don't know. I think this this band just got so huge and so massive and it's too Ready to define who they were? And do you think it's real?
The confidence or is it? Is it fake? Are they insecure behind that? Is it all just the front?
No, I think it's real. I think it's very real. And it's funny because when they do the impression of them, I just go so over the top of it, dude, there was one time I was in Toronto, Canada. And I'm trying to think of this guy's name. There's a guy who manages the band Rush Ray Daniels is his name. Ray Daniels has been the manager of Rush since day one. And I'm doing a cup a big show, I think it was called the Queen Elizabeth theater. It was a big
deal. I was doing two shows in one night, this theater and I wanted to contact Ray Daniels and tell him, Hey, I'm a comedian, and I do a lot of jokes about kiss, I think you'll really appreciate this. And I had a friend of mine, get a hold of a phone number for Ray Daniels. And I wasn't trying to use ray to get to the band Rush. I really wanted ray to come down because I don't know if you know this rush and kiss have a huge history together. They actually the first four or five years of
their careers. They toured flip flopping as headliner and opening act with each other for years, as their career started up, and so I knew that Ray would understand these jokes. And a friend of mine gets a phone number for SR Oh management, which is Russia's management company. And then I am getting ready to call them when I realized shit, why would they even? Why would he even pick up the phone call from a guy he
doesn't know? And I thought well, you know what if I call this somebody famous, I'm gonna get in pickup. So I call up hello. SRL management. i This is Gene Simmons. From kiss. I need to speak with Ray Daniels, please. And this woman goes. Okay, hold on one. Just one moment. Jean. Hi, Ray Daniels office. Hi, this is Gene Simmons. From kiss. I need to speak with Ray Daniels, please. And this girl goes, Oh, hey, Jean. Ray is actually out
of town today. If you want I can take your cell phone number and I'll have them call you tomorrow. How about you give me his cell phone number and she goes, okay. I just want to make sure it's really you. And I said, All right, ask me a question. And she went, I'm sorry. You want to know if it's me asked me a question. I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a question. Who's the greatest rock band of all time? And she went? I'm guessing it's kiss. That's right. And she goes,
alright, it's 416. And she gave me the number. I was like, Oh, shit, I'm writing the phone number down. I
I call the only Gene Simmons would do that only he would have that guy
was such an asshole that she was like, Alright, this is clearly it has to be gene. Here's the phone number. She gives me the phone number. I call the phone number. And I get the get the answering machine or the voicemail. And I go, right. Oh my god. You don't know me. My name is Craig gas. I'm a I'm a stand up comedian. I've never met you before. But I just prank called your assistant. And she gave me your cell phone number. And I'm a stand up comedian. And
I'm doing a show. Never heard from Ray never heard from the assistant. I don't even know she still works for him. That might have got her fired. That might have got her fired? I don't know. But yeah. So do
you have a lot of stories like that, where you use the voice to trick people or to manipulate or to get things like that?
Well, as a kid growing up, I was always able to do voices because I grew up in a deaf family. So I couldn't learn how to talk for my family. I learned how to talk by watching TV. So as a teenager, I would talk like an adult and call all of our parents and say a yeah, this is Chuck's dad, he's going to be staying with us tonight. And they're gonna be staying in we're having to sleep over having some pizzas. And it's like, okay, cool. And then we
just party all night. You know, when I was in high school, I would go to parties and my formative years were in Tucson, which is an hour away from the Mexican border. So friends at parties would go, Hey, Craig, hey, if, if we give you some cocaine, will you do some impressions for us? And I'd be like, Fuck, yeah, I'll do some impressions. And I got really good at doing impressions. But I also develop
and help you think, like to call.
Like, I would do impressions of like, people from the 80s Like, Cliff Klavan and stuff where you know, you give me like one line of code. And I'll tell you what, did you know that cocaine is originally found in the early 1900s? And then the more Gogeta Yeah, but that's, you know, doing Cago Jeremy turns into crack cocaine. Yeah, then you can start to lose it because the impression kind of goes off the rails. But But yeah, I was always doing
impressions. I'm in fact the first time I ever met Tom Arnold, who's one of the nicest human beings on the planet. It was a prank phone call. I called him up. Someone told me that Tom Martin was staying at a hotel in Seattle. I'm living in Seattle at this point, doing stand up comedy. And I called the hotel and I said, Hi, Tom Arnold, please. Tom picks up the phone and he goes, hello. And I said,
Tom, it's Sam Kinison. Sam Kinison had been dead for seven years at this point, and Tom Arnold said, Hey, Sam, what's going on buddy? And I go, I go chop it. Sam Kinison. I need some help here in the afterlife. He goes, whatever you need, buddy, I will help you out. What do you need? And I said, well, I need some cocaine. I need you to give me some cocaine. So I want you to follow my instructions. This is what you need to do. First of all, I need you to front me to
cash. I need you to get me some cash. And then I want you to buy some cocaine. And this is the tricky part. I need you to get on a plane. Fly back to Los Angeles. I want you to drive to Jerry Lewis's house. And then I want you to take the cocaine and I want you to put it in the small pocket of Jerry Lewis his pants, and I'll have it when he gets here in three weeks. Oh, and then I stopped and said, Tom, I'm sorry. My name is Craig Gass. I'm a stand up comedian. I'm just I'm a huge fan of
yours. And he said, Man that that impression is so good that I need to call my sponsor right now. That sounds good. That sounds good to call my sponsor right now. And then And then, you know, we hit it off and then whatever. But But yeah, it's that is, I think it's how I spend a large part of my day is doing impressions. And then the kiss themed shows that I'm doing is just specifically all the kiss jokes for an hour in Seattle and New York. Right
before kiss performs. And then in New York, it'll be right before and right after. And it's not just the kiss jokes, but all the kiss fans that you know, Sebastian Bach's coming out. And Sebastian, I'm a huge fan. Dude, Sebastian has definitely sir. Right? Well, yeah, but it's because I keep Sebastian gave me one of the greatest kiss stories ever. And he said, Dude, I went to that guy's fucking house. And that guy has a fucking kiss Museum at his fucking house.
Which is true. He used to have a room dedicated to every piece of Kiss merchandise. And Sebastian said that he noticed there was like a bag with like, 100 Kiss cell phone covers. And I said Dude, what the fuck is that? And Gene Simmons goes, that's our new promotion for Christmas. That's our new kiss cell phone covers. Can I have one of those? I wish I could. But if you go to kiss online.com, and you want to give him one piece of plastic, by the way, Sebastian loves my
impression of him. And one of my favorite things about Sebastian is his Instagram. It's all cameo videos. Every scene is. Yeah. And I love that Sebastian refuses to do a second take. He's making so much money. He's like, okay, like, there's one video where I saw. He's reading a cue card and he goes, Hey, what's up? This is Sebastian Bach. And I want to wish Tom a happy birthday. From your wife, Karen. Fuck yeah, Rock on. And I know that cancer is really bad.
Holy shit. And I'm like to do a second take a second take. And the next time I saw him, I told him about that video. And he goes, Well do people are paying me 500 bucks. Like sorry, your dog died. Whatever it is. And I was like, What the fuck? Do anyone like Sebastian? Anyone like Gene Simmons? Who understands that the joke is a joke and can laugh at themselves. I fucking love those people love them and smash and absolutely laughs at himself.
Didn't you say that? You have a warrant story right? Like you met them in a circle K one time I saw this picture. But didn't you say that you thought Janie lane that was his one of his faults is that he couldn't laugh at himself.
Yeah, no, I knew them. Well, there's a lot of these bands. I had two generations of friendships with them once as a fan. And then once as a comedian where I don't even bring up the fact that we used to hang out when I was a kid. They don't remember. And they don't they don't seem to remember. No, it comes up sometimes. Like Wait, when did I first meet you? And I go, Yeah, I met you. When I was like 15 And you thought I was funny. And
it's like really? Where? And I'm like, Yeah, and so I just I don't even I just eliminate the fact that I used to hang out with him as a fan and as a kid, but the guys in warrant some of them Remember, like, it's really neat when the first kiss cruise that I did Skid Row performed. And Rachel said something really nice to me about remembering me since I was 15. And saying, you know, we're all really proud of you. And I was like, Oh, that's
so cool. And do you want to hear the craziest fucking story is when I was a kid, I'm going to do a podcast that I'm starting soon to cover all these stories, which includes a lot of these rock things like living at Eddie Van Halen house and, yeah, I'm asking about that too. Opening from Metallica and all these stories. When I was 1516 years old, I'm living in Tucson, Arizona, and a friend of mine. His sister's a maid at this five star resort in Tucson. And he goes dude, Whitesnake is staying
at that hotel today. I was gonna ask you about this story. Yeah, and Whitesnake was performing the next day in Tucson. So I get a ride out to that resort. And it's at a Seahawks cup. Yeah, of course, maybe. And I get a ride out to the resort, and Rudy sarzo is out at the pool. And this makes me cringe now to think about. But I walked out, and Rudy and I talked for a couple of hours. It makes me cringe to think about it, but he
was really nice about it. And I really was giving him out like, Hey, do you want me to leave? And he's like, Nah, that's cool. Let's hang out, let's talk, whatever. And then Rudy said, Hey, do you have a car? And I lied and said, Yeah, yeah, what's up? What do you need? New said, Hey, tomorrow before the concert, can you drive by and pick me up? I need to go to this store. There's a store that I have an address. Do you know where this and he has this card? And he said, Do you know where
this address is? It's a it's a store that sells sheets and comforters. And he said I need to get some sheets and comforters. This tour is about to end and I'm going home in Los Angeles and I'm looking for some sheet I'm looking for a specific patterns. And I said you know what, what time do I pick you up? And he goes like, you know, like maybe like tomorrow around noon. Can you come by? And my other one of my guitar players Adrian wants to go to and I was
like, whatever you need. And the next day I went to school and just yelled at everybody and said who wants to take Whitesnake shopping, who wants to go who wants to who's got a car I need a car to take Whitesnake shopping and my friend Brian who hated anything hard rock. He was like Depeche Mode OMD, the cure fan. He's like, I'll take what's new. I don't even Liquid Snake. And I was like, Alright, cool. So we
end up going pick up, Rudy. And thank God the store that we went to did not have the comforters and sheets he was looking for because we were trying to get him to go to the mall where all our friends hung out. And Rudy's like, we're not going to the mall. If we go to the mall. It's going to be crazy, because it's like the height of still the night. What is love there? They sold out the arena in Tucson, right. This is the height of
Whitesnake. And because that store didn't have the sheets, the lady said, you know if you want to go to the mall, they have more selections in the mall and he's like, Alright, let's go to the mall. And we go to the mall with some of the guys from Whitesnake at the height of Whitesnake and walk through the mall. He gave us instructions as we got out. He was like, okay, because we're gonna walk, we're gonna walk fast. If anybody says anything, we're not stopping. Don't if anybody yells, we don't
acknowledge it. We just keep walking. Now I got to meet my buddy Brian power walk through the mall where all our friends are hanging out with the guys from Whitesnake. And then fast forward 12 years, maybe 15 years, I'm backstage at a concert at the forum. In Los Angeles, they have a room called the forum club. It's like a private VIP club. And I'm now doing stand up comedy, and I'm working on The Howard Stern Show. And I get a tap on my shoulder. Turn around. It's Rudy
sarzo, and his wife Rebecca. And he said, Craig, I'm sorry to bother you. My name is Rudy sarzo. This is my wife, Rebecca. We are huge fans of yours. And we listen to you all the time on The Howard Stern Show. And I said, really? You're not gonna believe this. Do you remember a 15 year old kid in Tucson, Arizona taking you shopping when you were in town with Whitesnake and he goes for comforters and sheets and I said for comforters and sheets. And he goes Craig, I am so proud of you. And I went
Wow. It was insane.
And then that's not even the white it was a more
Yeah, like a I think it was. Another is that was a different story. That's a totally different story. 10 years later, 10 years later, I am at a in an area of Washington State called the Tri Cities. It's three tiny towns that make up the Tri Cities Kennewick Pasco and Richland and there's one Starbucks that's in the mall and it's like It's got an outdoor entrance. And I'm I just got done doing morning radio and I pull up to the mall and it's 10 o'clock in the morning so
it's dead. I see. One person is sitting in front of the Starbucks and I start walking into the Starbucks and I hear Greg and I go, Rudy, I'm in the middle of the Tri Cities, and Rudy sarzo is sitting at, and then it happened again. During COVID I was driving up the coast, from Los Angeles to Seattle. I stopped at a small tiny town just over the Oregon border. And Rudy was in that town performing with I think, BTO Yeah, when I saw him in the Tri Cities, he was with Luis recall. And but yeah, very
surreal. Very, very surreal.
Right. So what is the one was Steven Adler were like, You took a girl to Whitesnake, and she cheated on you with Steven Adler? Is that a story?
Um, yeah, there was the girl that I dated a girl who broke up with me, right before I threw a party with some of the guys in Guns and Roses. Yeah. I was like 18 or 19. At the time. Yeah, there's Guns and Roses, guys, then I was friends with Steven and duff and slash. And then, years later, I've reconnected with them as a stand up comedian. And but yes, I did. There's a lot. There's a lot to that story, by the way, which there's a there's a very crazy parts of that story that I can't
get into right now. But I will at some point get into because there's so much involved at that, in that moment in those moments that I was having, that has actually been written about in books. I know I'm sounding really cryptic when I say this, but. But yeah, that's it's more it's part of a much bigger story that that people have not connected the dots on that, that I'm going to and that's that's actually one of the things I want to cover in that. And the new podcasts that I'm going to
launch. I mean, it's like, you know, I it's you're going into some great shit, might I you're asking great questions. I only was like of the mindset of talking about these kids shows that are coming up, but you're asking great, great questions.
Yeah, it's all connected. The other one I don't want to I don't want you to tell the story because I think people need to look it up. But your story of the corn, you tell the story on Artie Lange's podcast, people need to like they need to hear it when we've already laying because he laughs through the whole thing. It's perfect how it is I'm like, You should never tell that story ever again. It's only should be told on that already Lange show because it's perfect.
Not only that, you should also listen to Big Jay Oakerson come on the Artie Lange podcast and tell his version of the story. It's it's a lot angrier. Really. Oh, yeah. And I realize you know, I mean, it wasn't it wasn't a nice thing. What I did in his car with all the women that were in the car, and Big Jay describes how dirty the car was and how it was covered in mud and, and turret and like, baby toys were missing. It's a phenomenal
moment. It's it's and it's all documented at the Camden Police Department in Camden, New Jersey because everybody got arrested that night. Except for me. But yeah, it's Alan's crazy. Really, really crazy story man Chuck you're doing it you're doing you're the boss. You're the Bob Costas rock interview.
We have the rock stars and we have the comedy stories I don't know if I've ever told her to tell any norm stories because norm was one of norm McDonald's one of my favorite comedians of all time. Did you ever have any run ins with him or stories?
Yeah, I did a few we did a few shows together and I was just hanging out with some musician friends of mine who were asking me norm stories and and right when we split up with some friends of mine we're doing a residency in Las Vegas and and one of the guys just like I love new arm Tell me some norm stories and after we split up I was like, fuck, I forgot to tell you this one great story and it's actually I didn't hear it from norm I heard it from already I was at already his
house to do his podcast. And already had Chris Farley's brother on promoting a there was like a documentary that came out about Farley and I was just fly on the wall waiting for my turn. When already told his one Chris Farley story and his one Chris Farley story was that norms. You don't know the story that No, I don't think so. Norm invited already to come to Saturday Night Live. And it happened to be one of the most some controversial SNL appearances ever because it was hosted by
Chris Farley. controversial because Chris was in such bad shape that week that they actually had Chris Rock. Also rehearsing all the sketches, just in case Chris Farley didn't make it to Saturday because he was in such bad shape, and then finally managed to get all the way to Saturday. And there's some really fucked up stories about that week. about things
that happen. At the end of that week, Farley makes it to the show, he does the live show and then at the after party, Farley is off the rails and apparently this behavior was very disturbing to norm. Norm was a surprisingly empathetic person and, and already said he could see norm like, constantly looking at Farley and just, and just with a face that he's just really concerned about the guy and then Farley like disappeared for like, a couple hours and then like, where do you go?
Where do you go? Nobody knew where he went. And no one was asking, have you seen them? Do you see where he went? And then at some point already comes back over to norm and goes, Hey, Norm, I just saw Farley walking into the men's room as I was coming out and he was walking in with Andy Dick. And I can only think of two reasons why any guy would go into a men's room with Andy Dick and nor McDonald went, Oh, God, I hope he's Hi. What is the greatest norm?
Insults and one liners like I heard this one. Were you I can't remember. I think it was Nick Swardson was saying that. He was telling normies like, yeah, nor like during COVID. Remember, he had to cancel the shows? Yeah, I think it wasn't exports. And he was saying he goes, he's telling norm he goes, Yeah, I had to cancel like $10,000 worth of shows and the norms like you had to cancel the whole year.
Ah norm, but norm again to his empathy. And again, this is a rock podcast. So forgive me, because this is a comedy story. But
this is everything. We do everything. We do everything here.
My buddies that were in Vegas, they were doing a residency at the House of Blues. And I was telling them I was like, Man, I did a show here at the House of Blues once with Norm Macdonald. And it was it was the one of the craziest shows I've ever done. The show was sold out. I think it's like, between 16 118 100 seats at the House of Blues. And it's completely sold out. I'm sitting on the side of the stage. When this guy walks over. He goes,
Are you credit? And I go Yeah, and he goes, Hey, I'm the host. What do you want me to say about you gonna go? Oh, just, um, just say, Howard Stern Show King of Queens, you know? And he's like, okay, cool. nervous, and I go, Yeah, it's a good crowd, man. It's a big crowd. He goes, it's my first time. I said, first time, like, in front of a big crowd. And he goes, now's my first time doing stand up. And I was like, you've never done stand up before. And he goes, No. And it's like, how did you
get the show? And he goes, I'm a bartender, here at the House of Blues. I've always wanted to be a stand up comedian. And we actually, we get the schedules, like six months ahead of time, we know like six months ahead of time, who's coming here. And when I saw nor McDonald, nor was my favorite comedian of all time, and when I saw that he was coming, I campaigned to the bosses like, I want to host them. Let me let me host the
show. There's a bunch of employees that work here at House of Blues, they took the night off and they're in the crowd. They're just they're just here to support me and watch me and I was like, but you've, you've never like you haven't even gone to like an open mic to rehearse or something. Yeah, this is it is my first time and I was like, good luck, buddy. And sure enough, he goes out and eats his dick for like the most uncomfortable. It's only supposed to be 10 minutes. It is
the longest 10 minutes. His pits are sweating. You can hear him start to stammer, his mouth is really dry. He's even doing this this very amateur thing that people do when they first start. When he gets into a punch line. He goes like he he physically goes like they're supposed to be after there. And there's nothing and the crowd is dead silent. And at one point, he makes another huge rookie mistake. When he throws out a joke it bombs and he goes well, maybe
you had to be there. And a guy in the top row of the upper balcony goes,
maybe you're not.
And that's the first laugh of the night. But oh, and I didn't even know he was standing behind me but no arm tapped me on the shoulder and he goes, Man, I fucking I feel bad for this guy. Yeah, we're gonna feel bad. Hey, do me a favor. Don't make fun of them. Yeah. And I was like shit. All right, I won't, I won't. But when he introduced me, I kept my promise to norm. I didn't say anything. But when the guy who goes alright, you guys ready to keep the show going? You guys
ready for it? And people are like, yes, Jesus. He goes, all right. We have a special guest, you know, from the Howard Stern Show King of Queens. Please welcome Craig guests. And I go, Hey, and I grabbed the microphone. I was like, All right. Okay. And that's it. I just made a face. And then I got a laugh. But I didn't actually make fun of him. But you have to acknowledge that when you follow
someone who bombs like that. Or if you follow someone like Dave Chappelle, who just lifts the room up and levitates the room, you have to acknowledge, okay, I saw that too. I get it,
you know, right. And you have to you have to be in the moment
you have to be in the moment, you have to acknowledge what's going on what we're all thinking about what we're all talking about. We're all thinking the same thing. And you gotta acknowledge it right in that moment. And I did, and but yeah, norm. Norm was one of my favorite comedians. He actually loved impressions. He he did impressions, he actually did an amazing impression. I'm sure it's somewhere on YouTube. But norm did an amazing impression of Super Dave
Osborne. He did an impression of an old roommate of mine named Mitch Hedberg, who was a stand up comedian. And, and Norm loved impressions. And I loved his Burt Reynolds. Oh, yeah. The Burt Reynolds 70s version. Yeah, yeah, his Burt Reynolds was just as simple. Just just, it was just a gum and then just like a one word impression, but he actually did a legit Super Dave Osborne impression. And
yeah, he was. By the way, quickly, I just want to acknowledge when I pointed out that you are the Bob Costas of the rock pods here. One of the craziest things I've ever seen in my life is when Bob Costas used to have his late night show called later, it was on after Letterman, and it would just be a 30 minute show of him talking to one person. And I just have to bring this up, because it's a great story. He had Sam Kinison on his later show, and I've been looking for it on YouTube for
years. And it opens with Bob, I didn't even think Bob Costas could possibly know anything about Sam. But it opens with Bob Costas saying, Sam, I used to watch you back in the early 80s. Back at the Comedy Store in Hollywood, and back then your entire Act was based on that day's obituaries. And I remember thinking to myself, You know what, this guy is brilliant, but he's too dark, and he's never gonna make it. And Sam goes, Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, I forgot about that, and he explained the
bid. Sam Kinison, apparently and I never knew this until the Bob Costas interview, he used to walk on stage with today's obituaries, and go Hey, folks. My name is Sam Kinison. I want to thank you guys for coming out. Thanks for supporting stand up comedy. Out. I'll tell you a couple of people that you won't be seeing here tonight. I think just start reading the names of people who just died today. faces like, like Esther Goldberg. Now, she didn't catch
the bus. She's not here. But apparently, if you want to see her work, it's gonna be on display. This Sunday at Evergreen mortuary these are the darkest jobs. Like darkest sickest shit. Yeah, it was a man. It's
crazy. You know, you have your name on the Comedy Store. Right? Like you wear your regular there are hundreds. Yeah, yeah. So Comedy Store stories.
Yeah, I mean, there's, I mean, there's, there's so many of them. I mean, the Comedy Store was your
class when you were at the Comedy Store, like Who else was there? Like, you know, trying to build up their name that hadn't made it yet?
Well, it's interesting because my roots are with a great class of the when I first started doing open mic comedy in Seattle at the Comedy underground. I started with Josh wolf who's killing it right now. A really wonderful human being the Brody Stevens who's no longer with us. Yeah, that's
really sad.
And Joey Diaz, oh, God, Joey
Diaz crazy ideas. Yeah.
He started he had just come through Colorado, I believe. I know. He's originally from Florida. I think he's from Miami. And, but he had just been doing stand up in Denver. And then he started hitting open mics in Seattle for years. And we were all together all the time. In Seattle. Yeah. It's funny. I always like to ask the same question to when I meet comics, like who was part of your class that you started out
with? And then by the time you get to Hollywood, that's more of A it's more of like a college program because everybody's been working on their, their material for years and working on their stand up. And then when you're ready, you make the move to New York or LA. And I went to New York first. And New York was fucking frightening you want to talk about a story about my class of people is that I moved
in with Hedberg. And then I started going to this club called the Boston comedy club that seemed to be the place to go. And I had to start all over again, getting to know comedy club owners and to be trusted to do a set. And it took me weeks before I got a one a m spot at the at the Boston Comedy Club. And I made the biggest mistake of my life by saying, You know what, I'm part of this show. It starts at 8pm. And then it goes till 2am. And I'm not scheduled
to go on until one or 130. I'm gonna watch the whole show, because I'm part of the show. I showed up at 8pm. And I watched all these unknown comedians named Bill Burr, Dane Cook, Dave Chappelle, Patrice O'Neal, rich Voss, Jim Norton, every single person that came up there, murdered, and I was like, Wow, that guy was really good. And the next guy would come and be like, holy shit. And I watched it for hours. Until 1am. The host came over and said, Hey, are you great guests? And I was
like, yeah. Does anybody else want to go on because I can switch? Okay, because I didn't. I didn't even want to go on stage.
Crazy is that when Bert kreischer was the door guy
to Yes, Bert was the door guy. Yep. That's,
that's like he's the bottom level comedian.
Yeah, Bert. Yeah. But I don't even know why Bert was working the door. Because it wasn't like, I don't think there was like, like the Comedy Store where you parked cars and you do dishes and you work the door as a way of getting stage time. I don't think he necessarily retreating Bert like that because Bert was already getting stage time. I don't know why. He was working the door but he was such a likable guy. That he was
like a perfect. That did me tell you that Dane Cook bombing story about the Boston comedy club. No. There's this one of the I love this before he made it. Oh, yeah. Now this is all comedians love bombing stories. And Dana as the greatest bombing story at that club at the Boston Comedy Club. Dane Cook. Does it set at 130 in the morning on a Monday
night. For six people. One of the six people has all of his groceries on the table with him watching him because there'd be Bert would be out in the in the streets. Go on a comedy show comedy show come out. And it's like, oh, I got my groceries here. Help me with gross, gross, gross, gross. Don't worry about it. It's no cover. And they bring them in. And so gain is bombing for six people at one o'clock in the morning because they've been watching comedy,
some of them for hours. And one of the six audience members who is hammered, gets up, stumbles into the restroom, closes the door and starts violently vomiting in the bathroom to the point where the other five people are like, because all you hear is you know, for like several minutes, and then there's a long pause and they hear and the guy comes back out and he's stumbling back out into the room and Dane was standing on stage and he goes are you okay? Are you okay? Are you
feeling okay? Are you doing all right? And the guy goes? No, I just had some bad comedy. And it was like the guy with the groceries is throwing his groceries in the air. They fucking own that guy. They fucking own him. And there was nothing he could do about it. Yeah, we yeah, we all have had moments like that all stand up. comedians have had moments where he just like, it just doesn't
work out. And that's why you get a thrill out of watching other guys go through it and like, are you going to get through this? How are you going to dig yourself out of this hole? It's exciting to watch other people go through it. But yeah, no, I'm taking you way the fuck off course.
I love it. What about like what? Tell me I was gonna ask you this last time you were on but we'd have time. Your Jerry Seinfeld running. You said he was kind of a dick at the comedy cellar. Whatever.
Yeah, he wouldn't even acknowledge my presence. Yeah, that's pretty
unusual that at least somebody would give you like a high or something or
that's not unusual for Jerry Seinfeld. Oh,
yeah. He's nothing with a cash flow or cash. Yeah, he's like, No,
I guess now. You know, it's amazing. Jerry put it in his documentary comedian, where he shows he's, I think he's at the Improv and Addison Texas, and he's getting ready to go up and the MC opens door and he goes, Hey, Jerry. Yeah, so we got, I got two bottles of water on the stool and they're ready to go and he goes, okay, and he goes, and he said, Okay, can I take a picture with you real quick? And he goes, No, he goes, okay. All right, cool. Like he left that in the documentary. And I
can, people will stop asking him.
Yeah, I mean, believe me, I understand it. Um, after all these years of, you know, doing shows, with bands being around people who are way more successful. I know that Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, for example, the moment they leave their front door all day long. It is an unsupervised Meet and Greet everywhere they go. And I get it. I know that gene loves it. Dude, I, yeah, I know that. Like, I'm in Vegas looking for a place to live a couple
years ago. And I posted something about being in the Rio hotel. This is in the kiss show that I do. By the way, a long form version of this is on my kiss show that I'm doing in Seattle in New York. Before kiss performs there. I posted I'm at the Rio hotel, a friend of mine who works for kiss, text me and says, are you three right now? And he said I am and he goes, dude, you know, I'm downstairs with Gene Simmons, we're in the kiss mini golf downstairs. Gene wants to talk to you. And I
said, I didn't respond. I did not respond because I was like, oh, fuck, this is it. This is what gene has been waiting for. I've never been alone with Gene ever. It's always around other kiss employees. And I've always thought in the back of my mind, he's waiting for me to be alone so he can really beat the fuck out of me. And so I don't respond. I get a call from a comedian friend of mine who said, Hey, what are you doing? And I said, right now I am
avoiding Gene Simmons. He goes, I go. I'm at the Rio Hotel. There's a kiss mini golf downstairs and someone who works with Kiss just texted me and said, Chien wants to talk to you. He's at kiss mini golf. And he goes, so why aren't you going and I go, I'm afraid that one day he's gonna beat the shit out of me. And I think this is the day like he's, he wants to be the champ. So I'm not going down. And he goes, dude, are you
kidding me? If Gene Simmons beats the shit out of you at kiss mini golf, do you know how great that story would be? You know, it's like, you know what, you're right. And I put my flip flops on and I went downstairs. And it was just Jean, entertaining a couple of guys who had paid a lot of money to hang out with him for the afternoon. And when I walked up, he said, All right, here we go. Come on, you know you want to and I said, Oh, you want me to? Hey, guys, I'm Craig. I'm a stand up comedian.
And he goes, come on impressions. Get to the impressions like, Oh, all right. Who do you guys want? Do you like Christopher Walken? Or Tracy Morgan and I started doing impressions for them. And then these two guys start asking me questions about so how do you learn? Like how long do you have to practice to do these voices? And I said, it's pretty easy. I mean, I grew up I don't know, Gene told you, but my whole family is deaf. And so I had to learn how to talk by watching TV
and they said is that true? And Gene goes it's true. His family's deaf and he's dumb and the fuck has nothing like but
worried without like, where people always asking you to do the impressions. I think like if it's somebody like if you're good at computers, people are always asking you Hey, can you fix my computer? Like does it ever get annoying?
Now that's how I spend my day all day. So I'm totally okay with it. But what was funny is when Jean got done, he walked out the front door into the casino the reo out the main entrance and he got in a car and took off and I was like, isn't he is he gonna get bothered out there is an someone that gets many golf said he loves and I go really do. This guy goes. One time. Gene came here to kiss mini golf, right? I go outside to greet him. He gets
out of the limo. And there's a group of people about 50 feet away over here. Another group of people 50 feet away over here. He gets out, looks around. Nobody acknowledges them. And he goes hey, look, it's Gene Simmons from Kiss. And everyone's like, Oh my God. And then he was like, I How are you? Like he did it himself. itself.
That reminds me of like, do you ever see that movie about Hogan's Heroes with Greg Kinnear where he goes into the bar, he's playing the guy from Hogan's Heroes, and he goes in the barn turns on Hogan's Heroes on the reruns and he's like, you know, like, he wants people to recognize who he is.
Yeah. I never saw that movie, but I but it is the same thing and money. And by the way, from everything I'm hearing. This is a recent development for Jean over the last 20 years. His son comes to the Comedy Store and his son. Nicholas Connery. Yeah, Nick will, has told me, you know, if you would have started doing that impression, like even a few years earlier, my dad had no sense of humor back then. He would have literally look for you just to beat the shit out of
you. But, but like, right when you started doing your impression, my dad started laughing at himself and making fun of himself and then did a TV show kind of making fun of himself. And he said, but so you showed up at the right time. And he, Nick himself, like his dad, always has beautiful women with them. And he was at the Comedy Store one night with this girl, she had to have been 20 years old. And he goes, Oh my god, he looks at me. He goes, this is.
This is Craig. Craig. Craig doesn't impression on my dad. And oh, Craig Craig do do. Do Christopher Walken. For her. And I go, hold on. Do you know who Christopher Walken is? And this girl goes, No. And then Nick goes, Oh, no, no, you'll know. You'll know. As soon as you hear the voice, you're gonna know just just do it. Just do it. Watch. He's gonna freak out. And I went. Listen, I don't even know if you know who this is. But what I try to do is I try to sound as weird
as possible. And every once in a while, I say the word Cow. Cow. And this girl went good for you. And I went, Nick, you fucking asshole. Like you just made me look like such an idiot. And Nick was like, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Nick's coolest shit. I love Nick. I just saw him at the show in Austin as well. Jeans whole family came out to the show in Austin a couple nights ago.
That's another reason to go to the shows because there could be some familiar faces. It's like these are like star studded events
to everyone. Just I can't say who. But all my shows in New York at all of them. All I'm doing for shows in New York. Yeah, there are huge bands coming to the shows. Huge, huge bands coming to every one of the shows. So now they want to come down. They want to hear the kiss jokes. And yeah, I mean, my comedy show forget the concert. And who's going to the concerts? Because yeah, in Austin, Texas. There was a bunch of I couldn't believe that I when I saw George Lopez backstage I was like, What
the fuck? I saw guys from disturbed backstage. Tom Segura, the comedian. Tom Araya. No Tom Segura, the comedian. But, Slayer.
When you were in Arizona, I remember like I was leaving. I was like, hey, that's, that's David Ellefson from Megadeth. Oh, yeah. Because you're friends with him. He ended up doing my Are you still friends with him? Like he ended up doing a couple of times. Like, he got in a little bit of trouble. But he seems he bounced back from that.
Yeah, Alison got in trouble and has gotten through it pretty gracefully. And thank God, the girl that was that was in that video came out and said, Hey, listen, this is um, the girl. This is what happened. Like she she totally like said, you know, people are starting to like, try to frame this in a certain way that it's not. But Dave and his whole family have been amazing to me. Every year when I go home to see family in Arizona. We're originally from New York. But my mom moved us to
Arizona when I was a kid. And I still go back to Arizona every year to visit for the holidays. And I always spend a little bit of time with Dave and his family as well. And, and they're all great. His whole family is amazing. And that done dirty by Mustaine, which is unfortunately you know that. But yeah.
Because like he'll do these interviews. And my buddy thinks that he's fucking with people when he does interviews because Blabbermouth will grab this headline, that will be some sort of innuendo. And they'll like, Is he is he doing that on purpose? And I think so when I had him on, I asked him, I was like, you have a sense of humor about this. Pause I've ever had an interview, it felt like and then he's like, You got to have a sense of humor. I was like, Okay, so,
yeah. Yeah. Dave. He got some offers to join a couple of bands. Oh, really? Yeah. Right. Like when people knew that he was out there were some big bands that and there was one offer that would have been amazing. And turnout. And it turned down. Yeah. He threw down a couple of them. Yeah. Because he was just thinking, You know what, with everything's going on, I should just work on myself. You know, and he wanted to get through this issue that had come out with that when that
story came out. So and I understood. That's really
cool. Yeah, but about a year. Are you still back on Howard Stern, I know you're back for a little bit. Still doing bits on They're,
I think in December, they're gonna have me on for a week. We're working on dates. I was supposed to sit in for a week last week. And it got postponed to December. So we're working out dates. But yeah, I'm I'm back on Howard shell and doing voices on the show and which is really fun that give me homework assignments of voices to learn, which is awesome. That's always cool.
I saw it rockin pod, you're like, you're like, I gotta go back and I gotta get ready for this. I really want to take this seriously and work on it. And
that's right. Yeah, that was at the beginning of this year. Right. That was March. And I remember I had to broadcast one day from my hotel room in Nashville. And then the next two days, I was at a house in Connecticut. And yeah, just wherever everybody's been broadcasting from home for the last three and a half years on that show, since COVID. With a couple of exceptions, Howard came in the studio to interview Bruce Springsteen, Keith
Richards. So he's been in a couple of times, but But yeah, he's he was made for a pandemic, because he's always been such a germaphobe. So, yeah,
well, so is he still afraid? Like is he not gotten COVID He hasn't like because once you get it, then you're kind of like, okay, like, I've got the immunity or whatever.
Not that I'm aware of. He still talks about on his show about how he's, you know, he gets in arguments now with his wife about doing stuff and he's finally starting to get out of the house a little bit and, and go out with people. But this is the same guy. There are people who have tried to claim that Howard has changed. He's always been that guy for decades. If Gary walks in and goes, Hey, sorry, I gotta. And he's like, cough What? Are you sick? The fuck? What are you
doing here? If you think I was just I'm just clearing my throat just clear it with like, No, you're sick and he'll free if he gets the sense that anyone is sick. He'll he'll, he thinks it's very reckless. Like you're gonna get me sick and then I'm the show. So I understand it, you know, so he's, but he's always been an intense germaphobe and so when the pandemic kicked in, it was like all right, everybody go home.
We're all gonna go home just stay at home and everybody I travel with a mic kit that they sent me to travel with. So anytime Howard wants me I have a plugins to be able to plug into some Ethernet and just be able to jump on whenever he needs me. So I got my mic
on that makes it more convenient to fly to New York and doing that. I did
my first arena tour in Australia earlier this year opening for Russell Peters and I brought the mic kit all around Australia, New Zealand with me and and yeah, it's uh, whenever he needs me. I'm ready to jump on.
That's awesome. Did you say Russell Peters as a kiss fan? Is he coming to one of the shows?
Not only is Russell Peters a kiss fan, I just posted this video on my Instagram. Russell showed me to the song war machine was and I didn't know this. I think my Canadian friends have told me this. I have some Canadian friends that live in Vegas, Brent Fitz and Todd Kerns, aliens. And they and so anything Canadian. They know the trivia question and I think they told me this about Bryan Adams. Bryan Adams wrote the song war machine by kiss
and that's like my favorite kiss or anything. I love that it's
a great song. Russell Peters, I believe was hosting an award show in Canada. Bryan Adams was one of the music guests. And at some point, Bryan Adams comes into Russell's dressing room where Russell comes into Brian's dressing room and had Brian's got a guitar. And he has Brian play war machine and Russell does the vocals for it. And he sent me the video and I posted it on my Instagram. It's it's a at Craig
Gass comedy, two s's. Look near the top of the page, and you'll see a video of Brian Adams, the actual writer of this on war machine playing war machine. But while Russell Peters does the vocals for it, and you also see some other weird stuff in there. If you scroll through, you'll see some I always vaguely described some of the pictures and you can just look and go What the fuck?
Oh, yeah, no. Good follow on, especially on Facebook, especially when you did like the 365 days of gratitude. That was so good. That should be like a book or something. You have these amazing stories. And it's all about gratitude. So it's really positive. And I think that's such a great idea.
I was turning 50 in 2020. And I just wanted to write 366 thank you notes, to 366 people, places or things that had a positive impact on my life. And obviously had no idea that a few months into that year, the whole world was going to fall to shit. And so in the middle of all this darkness that was happening around the world once a day going Hey, let me tell you why I love Chuck. I'm writing these letters like, I mean, chuck a good friend and I, I really admire his attitude.
And he's a good man. And, and I was doing 366 of those letters. And yeah, I mean it kind of, from people who helped me along the way, like Howard and George Carlin and my friend DC Collins in Tucson, who's a radio guy at the rock station, klp. X and Tucson. To people who just by the way they live. We're an
example to me. And then people who suffered a lot were examples to me, a friend of mine, who was murdered in I had two friends who were murdered when I was growing up in Tucson that I posted about and their experiences had an impact on my life, to be more careful of situations that I'm in. And then a buddy of mine, Scott in Seattle, Scott McMahon ended up being the individual who served the longest prison sentence in
history without a trial. He was accused of a crime in Thailand, was a Thailand and stayed in prison for like, five, six years without a trial. And then a bunch of humanitarian organizations are like he's
getting railroaded. There's, there's no evidence and, and he's being accused of doing something that happened in a city he wasn't even in and, and a bunch of, I think it was John Kerry, a bunch of like, top government, people in the US fought for his freedom and got him out of prison, and then eventually back to the United States again, where he's just a different person. You know,
that's scary shit. Well, who was the guy? I heard you just briefly mentioned this like, because people who don't know you've been sober for like, I don't know, 15 years or something, but there was somebody that that called you an asshole when you were using or whatever. And you thank them for that. That helped turn things around for you.
Yeah, I love it when people are blunt with me. And it was my friends. Steve MiGs. Yeah, man, I needed to hear 99.99 9.9k SW, he, he, I was, I really fucked up on something that I was supposed to be a part of. And I partied really hard and just didn't show up. And like, hey, sorry, man, I'm, I'm sick. And the circumstances are really bad. They had paid for me to go there. And and Steve called me up and said, Hey, dude, I just want to tell you,
this isn't cool. This isn't how you treat your friends, and you're being an asshole. And it's not cool. You don't treat people like this. It's really shitty. How you're treating us, and I don't really appreciate it, man. I don't I don't I don't expect this kind of treatment from a friend. And I was like, I couldn't even hide. I was like, God. You're right. You know. And I yeah, man when I'm wrong. It's it's, it's a very healthy thing to say I'm wrong. Yeah, no, I agree. I'm
not from the East Coast. I'm from Seattle. But God, I feel like that's one thing I appreciate about people from the East Coast is when they are more direct. I like that.
I hate to bring this up. But it is true. This just happened five days ago. I texted Paul Stanley, and say, Hey, buddy, and then that was the first text Hey, buddy, and then I'm typing out the rest of them. And then Hey, buddy, got an immediate Hi. And I was like, I'm texting and I said, Hey, two things. Number one, I'm doing a comedy show in Austin. The whole show is about kiss. I'm just doing all the jokes for an hour just doing jokes about kiss and all my run ins and I've haven't
kiss. It's basically what I do on the kiss cruise. I'm going to do the show in Austin. And I know that you have a day off. And if you want to swing by comments, I'd love to have you if you'd like to go question mark. And number two, who should I talk to about getting passes for Sunday show? He wrote me back and said number one. can't make it to the show. I'm going
to be in Dallas, Texas. And number two, isn't it more appropriate to ask if it's okay to go instead of assuming and just asking who you need to talk to to get sorted out for the show and I went You're right. I was wrong. I am sorry. My apologies. Can I go do this show. And he said, Of course I was. I was he just fucking with you know, it was he was 100%. Right? He was 100%. Right? And I was 100%. Wrong. I was like, hey, who should I talk to you about getting? Who's you tiny. He's
like, do you want? And he said himself. He said, I never asked. I never assume I always ask. And he was right. I was assuming. And I said, Holy shit. I saw his son before the show in Austin, because his son has this great rock band that's opening for kiss on these farewell dates. And when I saw him, I said, Hey, dude, I gotta tell you something your dad did to me. And he goes, Oh, that sounds like my dad. Paul Stanley, is a great dad.
He's a really good dad. And it's because of moments like that. That, you know, amen. Be polite. And it's like, God, you know what, you're you're right. I am.
Yeah, I would appreciate that. Because I'm kind of an idiot sometimes. And I feel like I sometimes will do the wrong thing. Or I get caught up in the moment. And then I just like regret, I feel guilty. I feel so bad. I'm like, I wish people would just call me out on my bullshit.
I love it when people call me out my bullshit. So when my friend Steve told me, I was being an asshole. And I knew that it came down to my drug addiction, which was killing me, it was It wasn't only killing me, it was also bringing out sides of me that were embarrassing, and was you know, getting in the way of having healthy relationships. And in December, I'll be sober for 19 years, and that's 19 years borrowed time, because I had a heart attack 21 years ago, so. So it's all it's all
borrowed time. And I'm grateful to be here and, and have these moments that I've been able to have since I was able to care about myself enough to do something about it. And that's what you have to do. You have to really care about yourself to do something about it. So yeah,
so to bring it back to kiss if I can, like, Do you think that's part of the reason with ace and Peter why they can't be back in the band anymore. Because Paul and Jean just are kind of fed up with their bullshit. I know
a lot of people like that are in these situations that have been really successful bands, where they, their their drug addiction, got them kicked out of the band. Yeah. And, and, and from their point of view, I'm not talking about ace and Peter, I'm just talking about other people I know, who had been in really big bands who got kicked out for, for addictions, substance abuse, alcoholism. And they'll tell me, you know, man, they're such dicks to me.
They're such assholes to me, you don't even know how fucking anal retentive they are with me. And it's like, Yeah, but you're the one that that slowed everyone down with your shit. And it's like, if you've ever, you know, if you have a parent who has addictions, or alcoholism, like really affected your life. It's hard to forgive that person. You know, it's hard to just be like, Alright, cool, because, and you want to forgive them. And then
they fuck up again. And you're like, you know what, you're still the same person. Fuck you. You know, there's a lot of hard feelings that come out of that. And although over time, I've learned that from my own issues, that people are flawed. And people are just are human. And people make mistakes. And, and people try to do the best they can. And when they're trapped in an addiction, they cannot they want to change. And it's really, really hard to do. Most people
don't. Most people who have a serious addictions, don't have the humility that it takes to say, something's wrong with me, I have a problem. And that's, that's what I have found to be the difference between life and death is just admitting I have a problem and doing something about it. So now this conversation is going everywhere, Chuck?
Yeah, it's great. No, I just find like for myself, I mean, I never like I don't think I'm like, addicted or whatever. I know. It's like when I go through my fate when I've gone through phases of like drinking a lot, parking lot. I was more focused on myself. And then when I was when that wasn't my focus, like, you know,
getting drunk or whatever. It was, like I'm trying to more focus and just in general in life, I feel like I'm trying to more focus on like, what can I do to help other people like instead of like, how do I make my life better and I help myself, what can I do to help other people? I don't know. That's just my own mindset that I, and I think you have a little bit of that to at least because I know you helped me with my doing my podcast when I was like eight episodes in or whatever.
Yeah, I also want to point out just to bring it back to the whole thing I'm talking about here, which is I'm doing these kids themed comedy shows in Seattle in New York. At those shows, we will be doing drink specials for kiss shots, with drink specials, and we're going to do $20 Ace freely cocaine bumps. We're going to have Peter Criss anger management classes. So
that was those shows sound amazing. I kind of almost want to like when's the last one? Is it New York, New York City to New York. So that's a comic strip live or the shows.
Yep. Comics are live well, in Seattle. It's at a place called calm
capitol. Comedy bar. I'm on your website, right? Yeah, Capitol
comedy bar, which used to be the High Line, which was a heavy metal club, it was a heavy metal bar. It was a vegan, heavy metal bar. And if you've ever done cocaine in Seattle, you know where the Highline is? It's right off of Broadway. And that is on Sunday, November 5. And then at the very end of it all, when kiss wraps it up. There are gonna be kiss fans from all over the world at the comic strip. For those last shows, November 30, December 3, and this tickets are already
selling really well. And, and I already have a bunch of musicians who put their names on the seats that are coming out. I'm excited, man, this is gonna be amazing. That's gonna
be awesome. Well, if I can't make it, hopefully, you'll come back and do shows in Arizona, down here at some point and
sometime in 2024. I will definitely be back in Phoenix for sure.
Cool. Thanks so much for doing this. Craig, anything else you want to promote?
No, I just want to say thank you. And all the tickets for everything. We haven't even mentioned this. It's at get gas.com
website in the show notes. So people just Google they could just click a button and it's right there.
Alright, sweet go out there. Or if you look at the Instagram page, you'll see all the funny shit from the Instagram page. And I'll see you soon.
Okay, thanks, Craig. Thank you. Alright, see ya. Thank you for taking the time to listen to the full podcast episode. Please help support our guests by following them on social media and purchasing their products whether it be a book, album, film, or other thing. And if you have a few extra dollars, please consider donating it to their favorite charity. If you want to support the show, you can like share and comment on this episode on social media and
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