What happens to your brain and body when the reality you thought you knew completely shatters? This week Amie explores how betrayal trauma often leads to reality collapse and reality fragmentation. Learn what these terms are, how to navigate the emotional whirlwind they bring, and how to begin rebuilding trust in yourself and in your reality once again. Coming Up! Brainspotting Intensive - Join Amie for a three-day, in-person intensive on April 10-12, 2025. Experience Brainspotting, learn how to...
Dec 31, 2024•35 min
Last week we learned what personality disorders are and how they can impact relationships. This week Amie and Alana welcome back Alexandra Repke, a licensed psychologist (PhD, CSAT, C-PD, CAIMHP), to explore what you can do if your partner has been diagnosed with a personality disorder. Alexandra provides critical insights on adjusting expectations, setting boundaries with consequences, and maintaining your own well-being while supporting your partner’s treatment journey. Learn more about Alexan...
Dec 24, 2024•56 min
Are you struggling to understand the complex world of personality disorders and their impact on relationships? Join Amie and Alana as they speak with Alexandra Repke, a licensed psychologist (PhD, CSAT, C-PD, CAIMHP), who breaks down the myths and realities of personality disorders, especially in the context of addiction and betrayal. Learn about the different types of personality disorders, how they affect connections, and gain insights into treatment approaches that offer hope for healing. Lea...
Dec 17, 2024•50 min
Do you feel like you’re barely able to keep your head above water and wonder if you’ll ever feel good again? Join Amie and Alana this week as they explore the challenges that come from living in survival mode. Explore the impact of staying in unsafe environments and learn the importance of radical acceptance and self-awareness. Understand how your body responds to emotional trauma and learn about tools and mindsets that can help you whether you choose to stay or go in your relationship. Referenc...
Dec 10, 2024•35 min
The word “narcissist” gets thrown around a lot, but is that label even helpful? Join Amie and Alana this week as they invite Gary Katz to weigh in on this important topic. Gary is a certified sex addiction therapist as well as the founder of the Center for Intimacy Recovery in New York. Together they unpack the nuances of labeling behavior, the risks of misdiagnosis, the profound impact of betrayal trauma, and practical tools for recovery. Referenced in this episode: Learn more about Gary Katz ....
Dec 03, 2024•49 min
Join Amie this week for a heartfelt discussion on the concept of graceful acknowledgment, especially during the challenging holiday season. Learn practical steps to gently validate your feelings without the pressure to feel gratitude before you’re ready. Discover realistic expectations and self-compassion strategies to navigate triggers and emotional turmoil more effectively. Referenced in this episode: Trauma Trigger Kit - This kit is designed to support you in times when a trigger comes out of...
Nov 26, 2024•12 min
Join us this week as we revisit one of our most popular episodes from 2022. The road to recovery can be a long and difficult road. When you don't know where you are headed and how to get there, it can feel even more daunting. Join Alana, Amie, and their guest, Luke Gordon, as they unpack the stages of individual and relational healing. They emphasize the necessity of humility, transparency, vulnerability, and empathy. Whether your partner is participating in recovery or not, learn actionable str...
Nov 19, 2024•1 hr 8 min
Join Amie and Alana as they conclude their series on full therapeutic disclosures by discussing why disclosure is not the end of the journey and what steps to take next. They explore the importance of shared grief, the significance of building a plan for rebuilding trust, and the pitfalls to avoid post-disclosure. Learn about crafting personalized aftercare plans that include therapy, support systems, and empowerment practices to continue the healing process effectively. Get our FREE eBook “Is ...
Nov 12, 2024•33 min
Amie and Alana have an informative and powerful conversation with Jared Rockwell, a polygraph examiner and a LCSW. He is a nationally recognized leader in his field and offers his expert thoughts today around how polygraphs works, why they are so important for rebuilding trust in a relationship, and what they are NOT used for. Learn how this tool can be an important part of the full disclosure process. Get our FREE eBook “Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?” delivered straight to your...
Nov 05, 2024•50 min
Curious about where to even begin when thinking about full therapeutic disclosures? Join Amie, Alana, and guest, Luke Gordon, as they discuss the emotional preparation needed for both partners, especially focusing on the betrayer’s steps toward full transparency. Learn how to navigate the complexities of disclosure including the importance of empathy, the role of professionals, how to approach questions, and the value of impact letters. Whether you're the one who betrayed or the one betrayed, th...
Oct 29, 2024•54 min
The holidays are quickly approaching. Are you emotionally ready for them? Today we are thrilled to welcome Sarah Morales, the "deconstructing gaslighting guru," as she shares strategies for taking back control of the holiday season. Sarah offers practical insights on recognizing toxic patterns and protecting your emotional wellbeing. She previews her upcoming workshop that will help you move from merely surviving the holidays to reclaiming them on your own terms. Register for Sarah’s Take Back t...
Oct 25, 2024•27 min
This week Luke again joins Amie and Alana as they explore the fears and barriers of full therapeutic disclosure in relationships. Listen in as they emphasize the importance of a structured disclosure process, the power of letting go of outcomes, and the transformative potential of embracing vulnerability. This episode highlights creating a safe space for healing and how letting go can lead to deeper connection and lasting peace. Get our FREE eBook “Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?”...
Oct 22, 2024•25 min
Are you curious about whether you're ready for a full therapeutic disclosure? Join Amie, Alana, and Luke as they discuss this critical question. They explore the importance of timing, mutual respect, and emotional readiness for both partners. Whether you're the betrayed or the betrayer, this episode offers valuable insights to help you navigate this challenging but potentially transformative process in your healing journey. Watch us on YouTube Referenced in this episode: Listen to Part 1 and Par...
Oct 15, 2024•49 min
Today we dive deeper into therapeutic disclosures and address main concerns that often arise when considering them for you and your partner. We delve into various reasons why therapeutic disclosures are crucial, and we explore reasons why a full disclosure might not be appropriate. 00:25 The Importance of Full Therapeutic Disclosure 03:11 Informed Consent in Relationships 07:19 Truth and Transparency in Healing 08:14 The Process of Learning and Sharing the Truth 13:20 Creating Safety Through Dis...
Oct 08, 2024•46 min
Dive into a candid conversation as Luke Gordon, an expert in betrayal trauma and men's mental health, joins Alana. Together they tackle pressing questions many women have about their partner's troubling behaviors. Luke provides raw, honest insights into the mind of someone struggling with betraying and addiction. He tackles tough questions about trust, self-worth, and the devastating impacts of compulsive behaviors on relationships. Watch us on YouTube. Referenced in this episode: Tune in to Luk...
Oct 04, 2024•31 min
You’ve heard us talk about the intensives that Choose Recovery Services hosts, but how do you know if they’re the right fit for you? Listen to this special episode as Alana goes into detail about our upcoming Courage to Thrive Intensive . Learn what the intensive is, who it is for, and what it can do for your healing and growth. Over four transformative days, you’ll gain the tools, skills, and support you need not just to survive, but to truly thrive. The intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, ...
Oct 03, 2024•9 min
In this episode, we introduce a series focused on full therapeutic disclosures. Hosts, including Luke Gordon, delve into the importance and process of full therapeutic disclosures in therapy. We discuss how Choose Recovery Services sets a higher standard for these disclosures and emphasize their role in rebuilding trust and intimacy in relationships. We guide both betrayed and betraying partners through this challenging yet foundational process, highlighting the need for careful, empathetic hand...
Oct 01, 2024•36 min
Our guest today is Rachel Hagstrom. She is on the blogger team with Affair Recovery, a board certified functional medicine health coach, and has a desire to walk alongside women who are navigating infidelity and betrayal, and help them discover ways they can support themselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You can contact Rachel HERE Today Rachel discusses the importance of understanding how trauma affects bodily functions such as digestion, endocrine system, and sleep, and...
Sep 24, 2024•38 min
Join us in the third and final part of our series on the myths of sexual addiction. Alana, Amie, and Luke explore common misconceptions surrounding pornography use, forgiveness vs trust, and disclosure vs discovery. Tune in for insights and tools crucial to navigating sexual addiction and relational healing. Myths we tackle in this episode: “I only have a problem if I get caught.” “If my partner forgives me then we can go back to the way things were.” “Looking at pornography isn’t a big deal.” “...
Sep 17, 2024•38 min
In part two of this series, Amie, Alana, and Luke continue their conversation around sexual addiction myths. They tackle the myth that someone can control or recover from sexual addiction without professional help. They also explore the importance of having a solid support system as well as a growth mindset. Listen to learn: The pitfalls that can come when you don’t involve professionals in your recovery What is meant by “recovery capital” What to look for in a professional What recovery looks l...
Sep 10, 2024•22 min
Amie and Alana are excited to welcome back guest Luke Gordon to tackle myths surrounding sexual addiction and recovery. Together they explore misconceptions about sobriety, the impact of acting-in behaviors, and the complexities of healing for both addicts and betrayed partners. This discussion provides essential information for anyone navigating the challenges of addiction and healing in relationships. Listen to learn: The difference between sobriety and true recovery What “acting-in” behaviors...
Sep 03, 2024•42 min
Join us for part two of our series on debunking trauma recovery myths. In this episode, Amie and Alana tackle MORE common myths that can hinder healing such as "if the addict stops acting out, the betrayed partner will automatically get better," "separation always leads to divorce," and "boundaries shame the acting out partner." They provide insightful explanations for why these beliefs are inaccurate and offer healthier perspectives to support genuine healing and recovery. Find part 1 HERE . Li...
Aug 27, 2024•56 min
In the world of betrayal trauma, sometimes it can be hard to distinguish fact from fiction. In this week’s episode, Amie and Alana strive to do just that. They debunk common misconceptions about forgiveness, trust, moving on, and the roles of both partners in recovery. Tune in to hear valuable insights that challenge your beliefs and guide you in navigating the complex landscape of betrayal trauma with greater confidence and understanding. Watch us on YouTube. Listen to learn: What myths you may...
Aug 20, 2024•37 min
Are you struggling with negative self-talk after experiencing betrayal? You are not alone! This week Amie and Alana explore the importance of healthy self-talk in your healing journey. Join them as they share personal experiences and practical strategies for recognizing negative thought patterns and replacing them with empowering beliefs that will help you cultivate a kinder, more positive inner dialogue. Listen to learn: Why healthy self-talk is foundational to healing Where negative self-talk ...
Aug 13, 2024•34 min
In the aftermath of betrayal, some partners commit to the hard work of healing and change, while others fall short. This episode speaks directly to those grappling with the realization that their partner isn’t doing the necessary work. Amie and Alana explore the stages of grief that often accompany this reality, and they offer practical advice on moving through grief toward awareness, acceptance, and agency. Listen to learn: What mindsets will keep you stuck when your partner isn’t doing the wor...
Aug 06, 2024•35 min
It’s hard to know what you can expect from your partner when trying to repair a relationship that has been affected by betrayal. However, one thing you CAN look for is consistency over time. But what does that really mean? This week Amie and Alana explore the topic of consistency over time and give you six main areas where you can watch for that consistency as you and your partner work to rebuild trust and safety in the relationship once again. Listen to learn: What the six elements are where yo...
Jul 30, 2024•41 min
Are you struggling with trusting your partner after betrayal? This week Amie and Alana discuss where to even begin when it comes to trusting again. They give valuable insight on recognizing patterns, establishing safety, and taking wise steps toward healing. If you find yourself trusting too soon or wondering why it’s taking so long for you to trust again, this episode is for you. Listen to learn: Why trusting too early can be harmful The importance of rebuilding self-trust Understanding how the...
Jul 23, 2024•37 min
When we experience trauma, our brains and bodies react in complex and automatic ways designed to protect us. In this episode, we revisit a conversation we had in 2022 with Jody VanDrimmelen, a licensed clinical social worker. Jody breaks down the science behind trauma responses and offers practical strategies for healing. Learn how to listen to and appreciate your brain and body’s unique responses to trauma and how your recovery can lead to resilience and personal transformation. Listen to learn...
Jul 16, 2024•35 min
Are you reeling from the discovery of your partner’s betrayal? This episode offers a lifeline for those newly facing the storm of infidelity. Join Alana as she explores common emotional reactions, debunks self-blame myths, and offers practical advice on stabilization and self-care. Whether you’re experiencing betrayal or supporting someone who is, this episode provides valuable insights and compassionate guidance for the challenging road ahead. Listen to learn: Common emotional reactions to betr...
Jul 09, 2024•32 min
Are you seeking solace, healing, and transformation from betrayal trauma in ways you’ve never felt before? If so, join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah at our Revive and Thrive Intensive . This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Immerse yourself in powerful healing modalities including brainspotting, breathwork, mindfulness, meditations, and so much more all ...
Jul 05, 2024•3 min
