What's up, beautiful people. I just had to jump in with a quick reminder that it's going to be a stormy September. All right, September one, I'm in New York at City Winery. September fifteenth, I'm in Philly at World Cafe Live, and you don't want to miss this. I've teamed up with my girl each from the East, Your Heart Out Podcast, and it is going to be lit all right. For tickets, click the link in my bio or go to stormyp dot com. I can't wait to see
you guys. Now, let's get to the show. WHOA, what's up, beautiful people. It is your baby Mama, Favorite Baby Mama, And this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Zip the modern day female perspective. Damson back at it again, and we are back at it again in Studio seven. Y'all. We recorded so much content while we were in Atlanta. This is like our first time recording in over a month, so I'm still trying to remember how everything goes. But yeah, I got a few things
I want to talk to you all about. First, y'all, It's going to be a story. Let me September Okay, September one, I am in New York a City Winery September fifteenth. I am in Philly and World Cafe Live. Not gonna lie. Almost forgot world for those worst, but listen. If you want to come check me out September first, September fifteenth, all you have to do is click the link of my bio or go to stormyp dot com. Y'all. Like I said, it's good to be
a stormy September September one. I'm in New York at City Winery. September fifteenth. I'm at World Cafe Live in Philly, and I definitely want to see you guys there. Me and my girl Isha Hartout Podcasts have linked up to do the thing for the Thing thing, and I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna try to bring all that energy that y'all be having in the comments because she'll be doing a lot of this, a lot of this, and
I want to see if the energy is they were in a person. Okay, So click the link of my bio and get your tickets, or you can go to stormype dot com and get them there. And I can't wait to see you guys. Yeah you do. Oh, We're gonna link up I know, did it looks like a scissor. It's not a scissor. This looks like a scissor kind of, but it wasn't a scissor. I wasn't talking about that's listen. Why if you want to learn our gang signs,
just say that shy. Okay. So, if you were living on the East coast, then you know that this past week, really week and a half, two weeks, maybe even a month, it's been a heat wave. Like if you still don't believe that global warming is real, you need to go talk to the lady because it don't make no sense how hot it's been. And when it's hot, it's usually funky. Okay. And I don't know about y'all, but I had the scariest moment of my life
this past week. Okay. So I was doing a podcast, not mine, somebody else's, and as I was exiting, it smells like onions. It smells like onions, y'all. It smells like your onions. And I didn't know if it was me and y'all. I was so scared. I was so scared. I was like, oh my guy. Now everybody were talking like that's that bit you'd be talking shit on the internet. But she snanked like I know it. I knew that's what I was gonna say about
me. They were gonna say that about me, right, stir me pe you yes, yes, I just knew they were gonna talk shit about me. Right, So I'm like real self conscious, go walking like fucking them in an army and got my arm straight to my side. Right, So when I step outside, someone comes behind me and it's like, let me see your arm real fast and sniffs my underarm. Y'all, my stomach dropped
to my stomach, like my stomach dropped to my ass. My stomach dropped to my ass because I've already acknowledged somebody hurt stink, but I didn't know if it was me. And then this man grabs my arm to smell me, and I didn't have time to check if it was me. Y'all. Wanted to shit on myself. I wanted to shit on myself like probably still wouldn't have help the smell, but I was terrified. I was terrified, right, So he goes all right, I just had make sure it wasn't
you. Now here's the thing, right. That whole interaction took maybe two seconds or I just had to make sure it wasn't you two seconds. During those two seconds, my mind has already figured out three different ways to curse this nigga, out four different excuses for why maybe funky, five different excuses of which fuck I can say as a comeback, like my mind is going rampant. And then when he said like it wasn't you, I just had
to make sure. He's like, oh, you know, because I got some secret in the back, like you know, I was gonna hook you up by why I'm what you're walking around like that? Okay, Two things first, I don't want your community deodorant that you give all your hoos when they side through here. That's the first thing. The second thing is I got daddy issues a little bit. So the fact that he just grabbed my arm without help, like asking me, it turned me on a little bit.
It hurt me on a little bit. It hurt me on a little bit because hixic it is toxic. It's toxic for sure. I know it's toxic. Like I am emotionally into elegent enough to realize that that was a very toxic moment of me. Like the fact that he was assertive enough to not give me a chance to say, yepo, hey, I'm on me. Like that turned me on, Like he just had to pull up on me and say, yo, bitch, let me make sure ain't choose thinking. I appreciated that, Like I like that, And that's when I knew,
damn, maybe I'm still a little toxic. I worked out like the majority of the toxic shit though, like the big toxic pieces, so like if I still got a little few toxic ones, that's fine. Yeah yeah, yeah, long story short, I'm I was scared. The more of the story is I was scared. I was so scared, y'all, because like what if he would have sniffed it? And he was like, oh my god, what if he would have sniffed it? And it was me just just just telling the story and recanting it, like y'all, I feel
like I got shit again. Like it was so scary to me, so so freaking scary, so scary. Um. But yeah, long story short, put on the order it and like I said before, right, and I mean, what all due respect, you know how they have like a smoker section at like hospitals, buildings, concerts, whatever. I think we should have a section for people who wear natural deodorant, like, we should have an aluminum free section. Yeah, I do. I think that.
I think that, And it's because the fumes that some of you put off when you're aluminum free have to be the same level of toxic as nicotine and tobacco. I believe that it's not everybody. I know it's not everybody, but some of y'all, some of y'all, some of y'all, some of y'all, okay, are fighting a horrible fight and you're losing, all right.
And another question I have is when you wear like aluminum free deal deodorant or natural deodorant, y'all can't reapply because, like in my mind, you know that the big and soda and lime juice or whatever time's been putting in air, it's wearing off, so you have to put some more on it. Why y'all don't never put more on it? And then I don't know,
somebody told me it's also based on what your diet is. So I'm gonna say, hey, we need an aluminum free section and concerts out there, venues, hospitals everywhere, okay too, I want to say, you can't just go aluminum free and still be eating pork chops and red bull and smoking cigarettes. You can't. It's not going to add up, okay, because now you're walking around smell like a holy factor. You gott and everybody
confuse, please please just please, thank you, thank you. So I was talking about when a guy had pulled my arm and smelled my underarm, and like, men, I couch you bet a little bit because you know, like I said, I got daddy issues, right, So I wanted
to focus on things that turned me on for a second. By now, if you've been listening for a while or shit, even if you've been listening for this episode, you've probably figured out that I'm not the average person, Okay, so the things that were turned on the average person, I just need a little bit more than there. Right. So one of the things that really really really turns me on is I love when I can provide a
man piece. Like that's a different type of flex. Providing a man piece is a different type of flex, but my piece is a little bit different. Right. So it's like when we talk about providing peace, like, yeah, you can, you know, make him feel safe enough to express his feelings or you can, you know, lighten his lole. You can provide a you know, a satisfied, peaceful home. But when I say I like providing a man piece, I like when we like laying down an
old boys breakdance in his sleep. You know I'm talking about, right, y'all know what I'm talking about. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Yes, you do, a majority of niggas breakdance and they sleep. Dog, I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell you when they first fall asleep, probably them, like the first minute you just catch them doing this ship there. Why are you watching niggas sleep because I'm weird, But like, listen, like the first minute, ladies know what I'm talking about.
Like within the first minute that they fall asleep, they just start pop blocking and ship right. And it's like, Wow, I made him feel like safe enough to where like all the tension that he'd been holding up all day now he can let it free. They could be sleep. We don't do what ever we do with it? So how idores you? Because I said so? Because I cleaned it in the name of Jesus. Okay, I'm the only one who feel that way. So La Diva says, that's not
weird to watch a man sleep. Thank you. That's when y'all'all a cute is for real, for real, y'all mouth closing, and y'all can't start lying, thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, I'm just saying, like, I don't think it's weird to watch me and sleep and you don't really have to be watching him, like sometimes a movie will be on. He's like, I'm not sleep but dog, I see you fucking being popping peatie Like I hear, I see it, I feel it, I know it. Okay, I'm just saying I like that. I like
that shit a lot. I don't know. Everybody is their own things about what turns them on. I like when niggas breakdance and they sleep. Yeah, take a load off, babe, But like your mind, ease yourself. I love this for you. I love this for you. I love it when I can provide certainty, you know what I mean. And to me, that is a level of certainty like I know you're chilling, you're
fine mmmmmmmm right. And speaking of certainty or uncertainty, y'all know not be having weird shit happened to me throughout the week and like especially when it's guys, I'm trying to date run intent. I'm not gonna lie. I feel like I should just write a book about all the weird as shit that happens to me while we're dating. Like at this point, I think God just be sending me content, Like Yo, says Hunt, You're gonna kill him
with this one. Like I just feel like at this point, Mommy can't just be sending me content, right, So, speaking of certainty or uncertainty, I've been talking off on no one to this guy and we were like not really a consistent be we haven't really linked up. It's just like a hey, you know, we're filling each other rout right. So Mommy and texts me and we're going back and forth and he's like, oh, you
know, so what are you doing today? Before I can't even answer, he then sends, I don't know why I ask you that I don't got nothing planned? What what now? I'm trying to put together in my head what just happened? Right? So he's like, I don't even know why I asked you that I don't got nothing planning, So before you answer,
just know that. And I'm like, well, then what if I really was looking forward to putting on pants, putting on the brawl, making myself looking present on one come outside today, like fuck me, um, fuck my drag. And it's like, okay. So I didn't say anything at the time, maybe like a little hi high joke something like that, But then like a few weeks later, I'm like, bro, what the fuck
is that without you? Because at this point it's giving on the spectrum, all right, it's giving very much on the spectrum, right, So I'm like, what is this? He was like, you know, I just know that if I'm to talk to you or be serious with you, I just have like a certain amount of like intentions behind it. And at the time I didn't and I'm just not good at this. What what It's like? Yeah, I'm just not good at this. But if you give me another chance, I'll try again. Now for the record, I'm like,
yo, don't do that at shit again. Not cool. And every since then though, he's like, Yo, this is why I'm playing today. This what I want to do today? Are you feared this day? We can do this with's your schedule like this week? So I say all that to say, maybe sometimes you just gotta make niggas feel weird a little bit, and blessings y'all come from it. I don't know. Yeah, but he was very very very like self conscious when I waited like a few weeks
and brought it back up. So I'm like, yeah, that was weird of shit, don't do that again. And I understood, And I always want to give people a safe space. But sometimes if you don't tell people that they're being weird or that's not the appropriate reaction, they don't know. Because I'm like, it's fine just to have a conversation and ask me,
hey, what are you doing today? How have you been? Like when you ask me what I'm doing, I'm not automatically going to assume that older nigga wants to take me out, Like no, like if you're just having conversations, because the way a conversation should go is, hey, you know, how are you doing today? What are you doing today? If I say nothing, oh, would you mind or would you like, would you be open to doing X, Y and Z? You know what I mean? And a lot of times, I'm not gonna say a lot of times
he just didn't see that, didn't feel that at all. Well, yeah, now it's okay because he learned from it, He's made up, he's learned from that awkward exchange, and like you know, we've gone on a few dates since then. Not in my notes today, but one thing that I would like to talk about is in the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty three, how do y'all feel about PDA public displays of affection? In the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty three, how do you feel about public displays
of affection? Right now? Me, personally, I'm very private with who I date and who I talk to. However, when we are out in the open, I don't mind. If you want to kiss, you want you want to hug, you want to you know, be up on me, you want to stud be up on each other, I don't mind. I'm good with that as long as we're not taking pictures or leaving evidence or making it like known that we're talking to each other, because I don't want
to do that, right, But I'm down for PDA. Right. So this particular in visual also straight from the jump, it's like, Yo, I don't like PDA. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. By the end of the first date, you're trying to suck my face in. I'm confused. What are we doing here? What are we doing here?
I feel like y'all be saying y'all don't like PDA when y'a don't like the people y'all with okay, because I feel like, if the person is attractive enough or you're feeling them enough, whatever you thought you didn't like about PDA is now out the window, because that's just what it seemed like happened with this person. Me. I don't mind a little bit of BDA. I'm cool. What you want to do? Boo. You wanta hold hands? You want to swap spit, you want to grab your butt? Probably
not guys, really don't like that, but like what you want? Like h you want to pay for whatever we got going on? You want me to put my hands round of your waist? What you want, baby, what you want? I can do that for you, Like I'm growing an adults enough to be like yo, if I'm feeling you, I don't mind PDA. Like Yo, you you want to go bowling when I strike? You want to smack my ass? Let me know like I'm down for a
good time. We can have it. You know what I'm saying. Kenny B Speak says, we don't like PDA when we're in a spot and there's some open options in the vicinity. Oh shot said, damn nigga, you stitch. I agree. Eletri Diva says, I will climb his back if he asks me. Same cis, I will climb his back if he asks me the girl. I don't think it depends on a girl. You know
why. I think it's two parts. I think A it depends on a girl, and then B I think it's is their potential work in the same vicinity, Like, do you think that you have other options in the same thing even if you with somebody, If you think there's somebody else that's batter or you have an opportunity with, you might want to try to keep it on the low because you don't want old girl to think that you really wi old girl even though you with old girl. I know, I hope that
makes sense. I'll hope y'all caught up with that one. But it's like, as soon as the date goes to the bathroom, you're probably gonna go off and try to catch some new work. We're not dumb, but we're not dumb, and I'm not saying all men or all women. But it's definitely a possibility. I think so. Kenny b Speak says, or we don't like PDA. If we ain't really proud to be rocking with you, there may be a bit of shame there. That's why I said, it
depends on a girl. M h M three three Hill says, chill Kenny, Kenny telling all the secrets time, Kenny spelling tea Today Kenny is the guy who dies every episode on South part Damn Kenny um daryld a rock star says, PDA is cool if you ain't ugly. M three three Hill says, some girls don't care. I'm Kelos says, men you can get shot like that. I just gotta write my number on a napew or something. Aaron Nash says, women love a guy that gives a girl PDA. I
agree, we really do like that. Like, like I said, I don't want to be in a situation where we're leaving evidence like you know, you're taking pictures, I mean when I'm not paying attention or like you know, we're taking pictures in the same background. So now if we post them, people can put together that we're together. I don't like that. I don't like that shit at all. However, in the moment, I'm very much let's hold hands, let's kiss, let's hug, let's bool up,
let's cupcake. All that I'm with this shit cupcake is like like being on you, you know what I mean, Like we're vibing, Like, yeah, we're here together, a bitch, we're here together. Yes, it's given very much boot thing like like if we're out, people like, oh my god, how long you've been together? Like, and that's another thing. If I'm out with you, like once we've passed like a we like
each other. And when I like each other, I'm not gonna lie maybe even date two when we're out in public, like yeah, being like you my man and my men, Thank you to my men. Like I'm not that girl who has to wait till like date seven and be all on You're like, if we're vibing and we like each other, why the fuck night? Why you can't kiss me while we're eating the line to get our bowling shoes? Why not? Okay? If we like each other, what's up?
I don't mean y'all still going through that awkward phase of like, oh you go first, no first, I don't I don't mean that. Like some people you just click with instinctively and when you do, baby on you, on you White Rice, Okay, I'm on you like I'm not waiting until date five or date seven and be like, oh, let's let's make me hold hands? Like no, if we're filling each other and you can
feel, it's like a mutual thing when you're feeling each other. Boy, if you're coming to pick me up, you better put that right here on my thigh because if you don't, Now I got a problem. Now I got a problem. I want. I want to be on you. I want to be in your ball sex so I can ride around with you all day. I want to be in yours. Date two, this date two you're talking about, do you think that he would be thinking about that on day two? It's not about him, it's about me. Shot. See
that's the problem because you don't understand what the you're talking about. But hey, I dress Shot said, that's probably why I'm still a single. But I don't care. I don't care if I like you. If I like you, I can't be on you. Yeah, But like, don't you think that he should know? But by day two that he's your man. No, no, he's not my man. No in my mind. Yeah, but he should know that. No, no, no, he's not my man in my mind either. I just want to boolove like he my
man. Yeah, but you should know that. But I want us still to be single, like he's not my man. That's a lot that Okay, let me tell you, let me tell you. Okay, by day two, right, I want to if by day two, if we're really filling each other, I want to boulove like you're my man, but I fully understand you're not my man. So like, yeah, if I'm walking by, you want to smack my butt? Yeah, Like if I'm you
know, at the register, you won't get me a kiss. Yeah, if like you know, I'm going to the bathroom of something, you're gonna hold my purse get Like I want to boo love like you're my man, but I fully understand it you're not my man. Is that weird? I mean whatever, I've never had I've never had an insurrection where like someone is like, oh, are you doing a lot of much Like I understand that there are levels to it, and I understand the social awkwardness that comes when
it's not reciprocated, if that makes sense. So I'm not gonna try to be all on you and you give me a chill bitch, and I'm not picking up like no, no, no, I understand socials very well. Yeah yeah, like that only happens if we're clicking, like if we're vibing like whatever. I don't care. If I like you, let me like you a little bitch, God damn crazy. But hope yea, I'm sorry man. If I like you let me like you little nigga, God damn
god, damn uh And for three Hill says I'm with it. Kenny b Speak says not weird, but you gotta be willing to keep it g when the data is over and it's time form to move around like a single man. That's what I said. Like in my mind, I fully understand that we're both single. When I'm all up on you, that's just where in the moment. Once the date is over and we go our separate ways. Baby, if you don't text me in the next few days or we don't talk or whatever the case may be, the next day is not for a
week or two later. I understand that I just want to be intimate in a moment, I think I'm just craving intimacy right now. Is that crazy? Is that crazy? I don't know, but I fully understand it. We're both still single. I just want, yeah, is this right? Not that, Oh my god, that's crazy, Not this smart? Just like a this that sounded really good in the make? Oh my god, not a belly bumping thing, just like a intimate thing. Was that being
said, We're gonna head on over to a quick break. Second, let's go. So someone asked me towards the end of the last Make. They were like, Yo, you know you feel that way, but would you be okay if you saw him out with somebody the next day? Absolutely? Like I would be fine if I saw him with someone different the next day,
because I understand that he's not my man like. I don't care how much we Booe love Cupcake play it cool when we're together, if we haven't reached that point where we've had to talk about being monoguments or that we want
to do something exclusive, I understand you're not my man like. And if we're only on date two, my feelings ain't that invested that I'm heartbroken that I've seen with somebody else Now, don't get me wrong, if we're like on muff three or four and we've been kicking it on a regular I'm gonna
be a little tight, but I'm gonna be understanding. And I think that that's a big part of dating now, Like eventually people catch feelings and eventually and sometimes the feelings are caught before conversations have the opportunity to be had. It's just a matter of being emotionally intelligent enough to check yourself and realize, yes, this is something that may hurt me, but I do understand that that person was completely within their right to do such a thing. You know
what I mean? Do you think that because I'm gonna rephrase my question. Hear. Okay, So when you're vibing with somebody and things are hitting, Because when you vibe with somebody and it's right, it hit, it hitting different they they do hit. So when it hit at a certain point in time, I feel like when you're in a relationship with somebody and you're actually taking serious and you're intentional about what you're doing, you're both going to feel
time when you're not going to want to really talk to nobody else. Like me, one of my things was this year. It is like I put my age in everybody's back, Like I don't date multiple girls out did want you stay one at a time because less expensive. I'm not mad at attention, like I don't have time to I can't pay attention to all that like one time undervide attention right, But at one time I'd be like okay,
Well now I'm like okay, well I can date multiple girls. But is it like a feeling when it hit or is it like okay, well after date? So so you should just know that this is no no. I don't care if you've been on I don't care if you've been on fifteen dates. If you're not mature and honest enough to say to a person like yo, I like where this is going. I would like it if we just chilled or hung out together, if we had the opportunity to experience each other
monogamously. If you don't tell that person that, I don't care how often they're at your house. I don't care how many dates you've been on. I don't care what y'all and said to each other while y'all were fucking, because sometimes you be lying and saying you're gonna give them stuff that you're really not going to give them. Oh my god, I'm gonna give your baby. Oh my god, I want to buy you a go art. You're
saying shit, right, I don't care about none of that. If y'all aren't mature and adult enough to have a conversation like, Yo, I'm feeling you, I don't know if you're feeling the same way. I just wanted to keep the line of communication open. It's like, yo, what we're doing. And I feel like because this generation doesn't do that, that's why everybody out here getting they feelings hurt. Like do you know how easy it
is to just communicate what you're feeling? And if you're not in a space where you feel like you can tell that to your partner without them trying to play the shit out you, it's not a safe space, sweetie. You don't need to be here, you don't need to be there. That's not a good spot for you. And all the extra things that you're feeling like you want to do there, don't do it. It's not worth it.
Like communication avoids so many issues, and I feel like whenever we had these conversations about dating and how the poolish trash, she has pissed in it, has shifted in it, and blah blah blah blah blah. No, we just got a bunch of niggas in there who don't know how to communicate. That's it, and that's all. So many issues could be resolved, absolved, avoided if we just took the time to communicate. Yes, when I say niggas, it is gender neutral, it is race neutral, it is
alien neutral. It's for everybody. Yeah. Um. The long, Dan Glow says. The long and short is it's the woman's job to show that she's wife material. It's a man's job to prove that he's qualified to be submitted to alfense says, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that, Kelly Kapoor? First of all, it's the offer's reference for me. Two points for you, okay. Full throttle yr says if I've seen her out with another man, I'll just play my part and know
she belongs to the streets. That's so fucking damaging, right, I hate that for you. Oh my god, sets my soul on fire, because I guarantee you did not take the time to sit down with that woman and do everything I just said, say yo, I'm feeling you, like I want us to be an us thing. If you don't tell that woman that you wanted to be an us thing, why are you expecting it to be
a just you two thing. It's very misogynist stick of you, like you are so entitled that you think just because you're feeling her, she's supposed to know you're feeling her and then only deal with you. Like if she's now going on eight dates with you, she now texts you every day, and other than the time that y'all spend together, you have been going out your way to be like, yo, I'm feeling you. I level week are
going on? What certainty have you provided her? None? It's just like, oh well just because you hear you know, no, she don't know. Okay, Like for all the men who have that mindset of she should just know. You should just go respectfully because it takes two seconds to let someone know how you're feeling, so y'all gonna be on the same page. And I just think that a lot of times, especially right now be where dating is, it's not there. All you have to do is telling me
you're feeling me. Because whatever I may think in my mind, it's just that what I think in my mind, I don't have no tangible like experience for it. I don't have no tangible evidence for it. All you have communication is so fucking key, and it's just a lost art out here. Communication the lost art, that's the name of the communication of law start. So I feel like now everybody is looking for love, right, and this whole this whole idea of oh, the dating pool is trash. The dating
pool has pissed in it, the dating pool has shit in it. Right, This is common knowledge. We all know this. But I feel like another thing that we don't talk about is we're not taking a time to look inward and realize that we're contributing to the trash a and we are blatantly ignoring the red flags within ourselves. Hold on, I know a lot of y'all gonna be mad at that. I know, I know, I know you're not the problem, right, It just was the last fifty people you didn't
tried to talk to there was the problem. I know that. I know that. Bear with me, Come on this journey with me real quick, because I want to talk to you about a few things. Okay, so I just feel like sometimes we blatantly overlook the mistakes that we're making within ourselves and then trying to blame it on the dating pool. And I just wanted to give y'all five things to look out for while you're looking for your cinnamon apple. That's right, that's right. Five things to look out for when
you're looking for your cinnamon apple. Yes, yes, you know what you say. Come on, five things to look out for when you're looking for your cinnamon apple. Okay, So if someone says you know why, I take that back. Four things to look out for when you're looking for your cinnamon apple. Right. If someone says one of these four phrases, run okay. I don't care if you're a male or if you're a female.
If someone says one of these four phrases, run all right the first one, every girl out every dating was crazy or every boy I ever dated was crazy. You don't find that suspicious. You don't find that suspicious. You don't find that suspicious. If someone tells you every person I ever dated was crazy? What so you mean to tell me out of the last fifty people that you talked to, all of them was crazy, but none of them was in a mental asylum until they met you. Make it makes sense,
Make it makes sense. At some point you have to take it. If the person you're talking to says, every person I ever dated was crazy, you don't find that suspicious. You mean to tell me the last fifty people that you talked to was crazy, but they didn't belong in a mental asylum until they met you, Like, you don't find that suspicious, And you sure about that, You sure about that, you sure around that, Like, at some point we have to take accountability and accept the fact that I'm
contributing to the rising number of mental patients in my city. Like, it's not that hard. It's not that hard. Sometimes it's you. Sometimes it's you, all right, next one. I normally don't date girls like you, and you won't start now because what the fuck? Okay, here's my whole thing. Right, It's fine to broaden your horizons and try new things. But the fact that you have to audibly tell me lets me know. A, you're either fulfilling some type of fetish, fetishment, fetishizing, you're
fetishizing me. You're fulfilling some type of fetish that you felt like you have the opportunity to succeed in and there's no longevity here or be you're just throwing shit at the wall and trying to see what sticks. I'm not gonna stick. Okay, Like, what have you done that makes you feel like you need to cross over into this boundary? All right? Because you're just saying I like your tities. It ain't enough, it ain't enough, right, So the next one, But nah, I made my titties jump for shot
earlier and now he won't let me live it down. Y'all, I've been in a gym. Okay, thank you. So the next thing, Four things you should look out for if you're trying to find your sentiment Apple. The third thing, I'm a bad communicator. You sure about that? Okay? If the person you're trying to take seriously says I'm a bad communicator, author really trying to do is set you up to be text whenever they feel like texting you back, to respond to your phone calls whenever they feel like
calling you back. All they're doing is setting you up to know, Hey, I'm getting touch with you when I feel like it, and you can't have a problem because I'm letting you know beforehand. I'm a bad communicator, corny by Okay, I'm just saying, if someone tells you from the jump, I'm a bad communicator, all they're doing is setting you up for many
nights of unresponded texts, unanswered phone calls, unresponded FaceTime calls. All they're doing is giving you the green light to know I'm going to get to you when I want to. Right. The last thing, I feel like four things you need to look out for when you're looking for your sentiment apple, Right, last thing, and this one really grinds my fucking years. The last thing. I don't believe in labels. I don't believe in labels.
What's under stool don't need to be explained, whatsunder stool do need to be explained. I don't believe in in labels. Boy fuck you? Okay. And my old thing is when someone says I don't believe in labels, but you know you do. Don't just go along with that, because all you're gonna do is continuously access man what we do in And all he's gonna respond with is I tell you don't believe in labels. You can rock with a person who says I don't believe in labels, and all you're gonna do is
end up in his obituary as his special friend. Now you don't even get insurance benefits. Look at you. Look at you, not insurance, Look at you. This is the life you chose when you the Caraball's insurance. I'm serious though, all I'm I'm serious though. You can rock with somebody who says I don't believe in labels and end up in his obituary as his special friend if you want to. But nine times out of ten, you're gonna deal with your family asking you will when are y'all gonna get married?
When you're gonna have some kids, but they're gonna make it official. Where are your friend at? It's the holidays? What you got going on? And you're gonna be sitting or dumb? Oh it's been three years, bitch, it's been three years. What are we doing? And I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'm not here to prush you. If you are fine and content with the way things are going, ignore everything I
just said. Ignore everything I just said. But if you know for a fact you want to be in a relationship, you want to be married, you want to find your actual cinnamon apple and not just somebody you can netflix and chill with on a regular I feel like these are things that you need to address for sure, for sure. Full throttled Uyr says, Nah, she trying to take us men benefits. Don't get married, Johnny. Nobody's getting married to you anyway, so shut up. I don't know Johnny apology.
I've known Johnny since I was sixteen. I know for a fact he does not want to get married, So I don't owe him a following, not that one. Maybe somebody else in here. Yeah, Aaron Nash says, a man that really wants you will put the clamps slash label on you. I agree with that. I agree with that, and it helps me transition into my next point. And before y'all we keep going. Seven the dog. He came back in the room, y'all. So if y'all her painting, it's not me. I'm not a fat bitch. It's really just
seven any biggest shit. So and if y'all watched an episode of me here at Studio seven before y'all know, he biggest shit? Hi, baby, come on you coming up here? Shall high to the people. Hi, No, you just want to Well, you can't sit right here. Seven, you gotta move over. You got okay to hold on one second, y'all. Seven, you gotta get back where his collar a Come on, baby, get back, get back? What? Well, honestly, he's never going under the desk before, baby, Hi, yeah, come on
baby, Okay. So another thing is, Ladies, I don't even I don't know who he needs to hear this, right, because it's a message that I've really been heavy on my soul because I've been hearing so many women complain about it. But ladies, I don't know who needs to hear this. But that man isn't taking you out on a date because you already gave
him some coochie. I know, I know, I know. And it's not just that, right, he's not taking you out on a date because you already gave him some coochie and you're still responding to his text to his calls, to his spacetimes, and still giving him the opportunity to get more coucchi. He's not going to respectfully, respectfully like, I don't care how many times you bring it up to him. I don't care how many times you say you're done but you just want to get your closure and move on.
No, you're not. You end up giving them some ore couchie and he's still not gonna take you on a date. There is no special set of rules, regulations, or code for a man to do the things that a husband does, whether it be take you out on a date, show you you're appreciated, or siprocate your time and energy. No, none of that. None of that is necessary. If he likes you, if he wants you, if you set the standard of this is what's required to get
the box, this is what's required to get my time. When you continue to deal with these men who aren't doing anything for you that aligns with your standards, your goals, your dreams, they're gonna keep dealing it, and honestly, I support it. I support it. If you're dumb enough to keep giving them coochie, keep giving them your time, your energy, text call spacetimes. That's on you. I don't I don't know. Y'all can kick me out the group chat, y'all can take my woman's card away.
Okay, it's gonna be pretty hard because I got the stretch marks to prove it. But what I'm saying is okay. What I want to say is, if you're dealing with a man and he's not taking you out on dates, but you are still giving him the same level access to you as someone
who is he's never gonna take you out on a date. It doesn't matter how much you complain, how much you harass, how much you bring him out, because you know why, a man who really wants you and a man who really chooses you, you're probably not even gonna have to have that conversation with. And if you do, once you bring it up, oh hes gonna fix it, baby, he gonna fix it. He gonna fix it. And if he's not, it's because he doesn't want to and you're
not making him. And I know when I say you're not making him, it sounds like, oh, you're trying to be the she's trying to be masculine. No, I'm just saying you would have to set your standards for what you require for you and if someone is a meeting that, stop giving them access to you. So just coming back. So, so if a dude is exhibiting that behavior and you guys am dating and you go to your
girlfriend and complaining and then you address it. He can come back from that if you have an honest conversation with your partners, say, yo, I feel like we're moving into a different space where we should be going on dates more, or you know, I genuinely want to go on more dates. If he does not fix it, you do not give him the same level of access to you. Like there are women who complain like, oh, he just won't take me on a date, and he's not going to wonder
why because you're still sucking his deck, because you're still giving coucie. Okay, he's not going to because why would he Why would he go out his way to do something that isn't required. Why would he go out his way to do something that isn't required. Why would he go out his way to do something that isn't required if he isn't even that into you, Because if he was, he would do it, you know what I'm saying. So the Blue Professor says, women will never make you her boyfriend when she can
get boyfriend benefits while you in the friend zone. Daryl the rock Star says, she's right, we just don't like you. We'll sleep with you, but we don't like you, and That's another thing. Men will take the nastiest of sex with you and never what to be with you. Men don't have to want to be with you to have sex with you. So when you have this mindset of well, he wouldn't be eating my ass from a bank like that? If yes, he would sure about that? Yes?
Yes hee what? Yes he what? He will still suck your toes okay. He will still lick you from the router to the tutor. Okay. He will still treat you like a porn star. And if you are not requiring him to also treat you like a princess, you won't get it. If you don't set that standard up. I require dates, I require time, I require you to reach out. I require reciprocity. You're not going to get it. Recpcity. You know what crazy? You know what's crazy? Um? Lauren Hill? What song is that? The X factor?
She's like, UM, damn it somepricity long stir Sure. I didn't know that the word. I didn't know the word was reciprocity. I thought she was saying um and probably get some rest and probably t I literally just learned that the word is reciprocity, and that lyric I literally just learned that that was the lyrics, like not too long ago. So yeah, there's that. Um yeah. So if that being said, let's go on over to segment three, and so we were talking about red flags and things within ourselves
that we get fixed. Right. So on the flip side of that, I wanted to talk about breaking up because breaking up is hard to do. Breaking up is really hard to do when you don't want to break up, Okay, So I just want to give a little bit of advice to the women, especially for when you break up and you still want your men. Now, for the record, if you don't want your man, none of
this is going to apply to you. It don't matter. Do what the fuck you want to do, sis right, But if you break up with your men and still want your men, I feel like there are things that you can and shouldn't do just to make sure that happens. Right. So I just want to say, when you break up with your boyfriend, please do not get on the internet posting a bunch of selfies, especially half naked
selfies. Okay, when you break up with your boyfriend, do not get on it internet and flood the timeline with a bunch of your selfis full body picks. It don't matter if the thing is thanking, if that's not what
you were doing before y'all broke up. You don't even realize that you're subconsciously, subconsciously confirming all the doubts that he had about you when y'all break up and you jump on the internet posting full body picks with that thang thing, and you are subconsciously confirming all the doubts that he may have had about you, especially if y'all break up over some infidelity shit. In his mind,
he like, look, she's still for the streets. She really for the streets, right, if y'all break up because of like some petty stuff about you and men's faces, look at her. See I knew it. I knew it, And it doesn't matter if it was sure or not. If you want your man, I don't think these are things that will help you get your man back. Right. Another thing, ladies, please, for the love of Forrest Gump, please do not post a bunch of long ass
heartbroken quotes. They're not gonna read it. They're not gonna read it. They're not gonna read it. Do not break up with your men and post a bunch of cryptic, long ass quotes. He's not gonna read it sis. If anything, they're gonna screenshot it and put it in the group chap like yo, your girl out here wild and he gon be like, no one girl knew more. Now you look stupid. Now you look stupid. Listen. Yes, you may really feel this way that's in these quotes.
Yes you may feel like you posting these pictures is reclaiming your empowerment. But here's the thing. If you weren't posting quotes like that before you broke up, and you weren't posting pictures like that before you broke up, what are you exactly reclaiming? Right? And I'm not telling you what to do. Do what you want and do what makes you feel good, but I don't want you to disrespect yourself in the process. And sometimes when we break up
we go to the extreme. Now you're wearing things that you never wear. Now you're doing things that you never do. Now you're posting stuff that you don't even really like, because in your mind, you're just trying to make him mad. You're just trying to make him see that all of what he's missing out on, you're trying to make him see it. All of what you really got in these niggas really won't be at you. It's not going
to do that respectfully. You can look bad as you want to, you can post the deepest Miangelar quotes that you want to, it's not going to do what you think it's going to do, right, And this only applies to if you weren't doing this before y'all broke up. If you was, bitch, go ahead, do you right, But if you weren't, cool it cool it cool it, cool it cool it plains okay, because you're not doing nothing but embarrassing yourself respect right. So full throttle y R says
fellas. If she don't push you on social media, she is for the game. Ignore that nigga, please, okay. I told y'all ignore him. I told you ignored Johnny a long time ago. Don't No, we don't like Johnny. Okay, please thank you. Aaron Nash seventy three says, red flag for anyone that airs laundry after a breakup. That's a fact. That's the Bible scripture. That's the Bible scripture. And ladies, I love y'all, right, I love y'all I'm here with Shall we locked in?
Right? But here's my problem. When you break up, if you go on Facebook, Instagram telling everybody about how your man has a little dick, it wasn't a little for the four years that Shaw was to gather dough. I'm confused. I'm confused. The dick wasn't never little when y'all was taking trips out of the country. The dick wasn't never little when y'all was
in matching pajamas every Christmas. But now all of a sudden, because you broke up, now to dick about four inches how and trash as dirty ass take care of their kids, dealing with miners like you weren't dealing with this dirty as. Yes, here's the thing that I don't get. The whole time you was together, it wasn't he don't take care of his kids, he own food, steps, he owed such and such two hundred dollars, he'd be accent and used my car and they'll never fill the gas tank up.
When y'all was together, it was none of that. It was none of that. But now since Shaw broke up, it's all these problems. First of all, I don't give a fuck, Okay, and you know why. I don't give a fuck because you didn't give a fuck while y'all was together. I don't care. I don't care what you say. It doesn't matter. It's not going to make me look at this man in a derogatory manner because for whatever reason, it was good enough for you. If
it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. Stop trying to villainize your relationships just because y'all broke up. Because when y'all was together, it was fine. I don't care. It's nothing you can tell me. I don't care how much shrimp cocktail you tell me he got between his legs. I don't care. I don't care. Apparently butt you like a fish fry because you was with him for four years, right, Okay, Okay,
that's it, and that's all. Okay, I'm just saying who I was, Like, I'm trying to aeron Nash seven three said they're gonna come after you store me. I don't care. I don't care, because you know what my problem is when you in love, that did grow about three inches, don't it? Y'all take that back when you in love, that did grow about four inches when you do, you know what, when you're in
love, that dick grow about four inches. And if you choose to tell your man and react to your men as if it has grown four inches, you gotta eat that. I don't know if you want me to say you gotta eat that, you gotta eat that. I can't be on your side.
I can't support the time foolery. I can't okay, not in good taste, I cannot all right, Um, So the last thing I want to get into before we jumped into the edible portion of the show is and this one is really special to me because this one roll deep in my heart. Right, Being the strong friend isn't easy, right, It's hard. It's hard, right, But being the strong friend and struggling and having the courage to tell other people you are struggling, it's even harder. Right seven
were you talking about baby? Yeah, it's all that shit. But no, really don't like if the strong friend tells you you are struggling. It's not because we want you to say, oh, well you're strong, you got it, You'll make away. And you definitely don't want to say everything happens for a reason. God will make away. We don't want to hear that. If you know this is coming from the strong friend and we're having the courage to tell you that we need help or we're struggling, help me,
nigga, What Canvin Hard say? Help me? Nigga? Roh, understand that if I'm to a low enough point where I feel it still I need to reach out to you. It's because I am struggling. Seven What do you want? My baby came to help me. Hi, Okay, okay, sick, sit baby sick. Oh it's geese outside, that's what he was talking about. Okay. Um. But yeah, like, I don't think people realize, Like, yo, do you know how much it took for me to humble myself enough to even reach out to you and tell
you I'm struggling? Like, bro, when you turn around and heavy, what's some? You're strong, You'll make it. You're strong, You'll figure out a way. Niggas, Like for me to even come to you with this, you should already know we're down bad Okay, We're in a bad
space. Put the bad signal in the sky because we are struggling, okay, Or does that mean that not on the team level when you just misread the situation, Like, what does that mean exactly if I can't go to one of my friends, Like if I can't come to you like Stormy, I'm down bad and you hit me with some negative shit, does that necessarily mean that you are a bad friend? Or maybe you're going through something that you're not seeing it, because will we tell somebody that isn't on our level?
So but here's the thing, right, if you have friends that turn around and say to you you okay, you're right, you got it, big dog, this doesn't automatically mean that they're a bad friend. Right. I'm very big on accountability, So we have to take some accountability for acknowledging the fact that we have set up a friendship or a relationship or a courtship, a situation ship, whatever, to where I have taken on the role of the strong friend. They have taken on the role as the sound board.
Right, So they're not used to us reaching out saying we want help. So just because they respond and then you got a big dog, that doesn't always mean that they're a bad person. They're just falling in line with the dynamics that we've set up. So while I want to say like, yeah, help me, nigga, if they respond with you got a big dog, you'll be cool, I also now have to be humble again and honest again to say I'm not asking you for reassurance. I'm asking you for
help. And it's hard, especially if you were the strong friend. If you were the strong friend, this is extremely difficult. But you have to say, or you have to make it known. I'm not asking for reassurance. I'm not asking for a soundboard. I'm asking for help. And as a strong friend, I can tell you it's gonna be hard as fuck. But if this is what you really want, and this is what you know will help you reach your goal, you gotta be like you got I know,
I know. But you can't be mad for them for not understanding the dynamics that we've set up. So we have to give them a chance to fix what they might not be aware of, you know. Jackson sixteen sixteen says, gotta be human enough to have your weak moments without being afraid to acknowledge them. Come on, somebody Jack saying, come on, Jack's hey, boys, Jack says the man honestly, Jackson we gotta link up soon. Sir Keithington says, we have to reach out to other strong friends.
It's easy right to say that, but for some of us we are holding down the strong friend position for our whole core group. Like it's easy to say we got to reach out to our strong friends for help, but some of us are really holding down the strong friend position for our whole group, sometimes maybe even two three groups. So it's a humbling experience. No, it's just makes us delusional for thinking we can take all this shit on by
our something honestly. Jack sixty sixty says, I think some of the accountability has to be on the strong friend though. You can't be strong all the time and then be shocked when people assume you'll just continue to be the strong and push through. I agree. I agree. You have to be humble enough to check yourself and them and say, yo, I don't really need reassurance right now, I really need help. And it's hard. It's hard. It's so hard, y'all, it's so hard. It's so so,
so so hard. Mike Jones five six one says it means you don't have emotionally aware of friends, not a bad friend. Just not the friend you would go to in a time like this. I disagree because most of the times they're not saying it to be a demeaning or to not be helpful. Sometimes I really don't know because they're just used to you handling shit. They're like, all right, cool, you got it. You always got technically
the fault, it would be there. Yeah, exactly right too. TV says, is it wrong to expect people you've been there got to automatically be there for you? Is it wrong for people you've been there for to automatically assume they've been there for you? Yes, it's to me. To me, I would say yes, only because you know that this person is not emotionally stable. This person is not financially stable, this person is not mentally stable, which is why you usually have to be there for them all the
time. So automatically assuming that they're going to be there for you when you've been consistently watching their world fall apart for the past few years, that's not fair to them because that's not your dynamic, and that's not the relationship that you guys have set up. Whether it be friends, whether it be courtship, whether be situationship, relationship whatever. So I wouldn't automatically assume like, Yo, I've done this for you X amount of times, I expect you
to do this for me one time, right. I would, however, say, you can be like yo, I really need you to do this for me, and if they can't do it, they can't do it. But it's now on you to figure out how much you want to be involved in their lives moving forward, because, in the same token, if they can't do X, Y and Z for one time, are you willing to take on a mentorship or another fucking child? Essentially, because this is someone who can't do nothing for you, can you afford another child? That's on
you to decide. Okay, So now I wanted to get into the edible portion of the chelf, right, So the edible portion of the show is when we read questions and stuff that you guys sen in. I'm not gonna lie. I got my ones today from the live because I forgot to put the promp up today. So there's that right now. If you have a question that you want to submit to the show, but it is too long to fit into the prompts, you can DM me at Stormy PPEA at Chocolate
Chimnisship, or you can email me at inquiries at stormyt dot com. So the first one is eating off each other plate on the first date a red flag? Yes, okay, and I'm answering this from a greedy bitch perspective, so excuse me, be patient with me. Right but y'all, I love food. I love my food. Okay, right now, if we're on the first date, I don't mind like scooping a fork and giving you some. But baby, don't you dare trespass with your fork onto my plate
without saying anything. We're not there yet, boundaries, We're not there yet. Don't you do that? Don't you do that? Please? Don't. I don't want it. I don't want you to do that, and not to mission. Y'all know I hate restaurants as a first date anyway. Old my god, old my god, Oh my god. But I do understand that this is something that develops over time. Right, So, y'all know I'm greedy. Y'all know I don't like sharing my food. However, as
time progresses, one of my love languages is eating all your fries. So but but, but but I'm willing the closer we get, the more I'm open to sharing my plate with you. But in the beginning, I'm like a rabbit dog and the god I'm eating the ship right here by myself, right. But like the closer we get, the more we develop, the more intense our bond becomes. I am open to sharing my plate with you on a first date. No, have some fucking manners, okay, and
most of y'all don't even sanitized to wash your hands before you eat. Don't touch my shit. Don't touch my shit because like I'm a mom, I keep hand sanitizer in my purse, and Shot will tell you I keep hand sanitizer in my fucking purse. So it's like thank you. So it's like you just trying to reach over into my shit like that uptown as Eleven says, that's not a love language. I want you to know. The American Psychological Association also said it's not a love language. But I don't give a
fuck what they say. Okay, I'm telling you, if I'm hitting your fries, it's because I love you. Take my love, Take my love, thank you, Thank you. Let me love your little nigga. So the next one, why do people say that it's toxic to be romantic with someone that you're not in a relationship with, because it is, all right, it's not I take that back. I take that back. It's not
toxic to be romantic with someone that you're not in a relationship with. But it is toxic to be romantic with someone that you haven't articulated that you don't want to be in a relationship with. Right, So let me break that down. Right, if you have someone that you're vibing with, your hang with might even be going raw dog, Okay, raw dogs, you'm up?
All right? All that is fine. But if you know in your core being, whether you're a male or a female, you have no expectations with this person, You have no desire to be with them monogamously, you have no anxiety to being a relationship. This doesn't go further than the four squares of your bad It's your responsibility to tell them that. Like, imagine giving somebody you're all and them knowing that they have no desire to see you
what your clothes on? Sucks? Right, it sucks. So that's why sometimes people get heat from being like uber romantic with people that they don't want to bring a relationship with is because nine times out of ten you didn't tell them you don't want to be a relationship with them. And it's really not
that hard. But a lot of people don't want to acknowledge the fact that you don't tell them you don't want to be in a relationship with them, because you know when you do, your access to them is going to be changed tremendously. Okay, because a lot of men and women you tell them like, Yo, there's cool, I like hanging with you, but I don't want to be in a relationship with you. We can be friends if you want. You're not gonna be friends. You're not gonna get no more
coochie, You're not gonna get no more fancy dates. Right. So sometimes, and this is for men and women, we conceal and we keep it to ourselves and what we want and what our expectations is because selfishly, we know that if we disclose this information, maybe everything's gonna change. Okay, everything is going to change tremendously, all right. So I think that's why people don't say that they don't want to be inn relationships, which fucking sucks.
Fuck you guy, fuck you girl. Okay, very considerate, very damn, my phone about to die uptown as eleven says, I'll get you your own. I'm assuming fries. Maybe you missed the point, Okay, me eating your fries isn't because I don't have my own fries. It's because I'm want your fries. I don't know how to explain it. It's a thing. And the one before that was just just not a love language. Tyhouse says, Loo Wow, Hollywood two five says Jersey Stormy. You have
been able to check your DMS. I will when this is over, thank you. Sir Keithington says if you reach on my plate, I'm leaving and you're posting the bill Loo Baby. If I'm want the fries, I'm taking them fries. Okay. So yeah, before we get out of here, I just wanted to say, all right, it's gonna be a stormy September. All right, brace yourselves, It's gonna be a stormy September. September
one. I'm in New York at City Winery. September fifteenth, I'm in Philly at World Cafe Live and Baby, I'll want to see you there. I hadn't linked up with East Your Heart Out podcast, and it is going to be lit, all right. We're gonna have prizes, giveaways, all that. Clickton get my body to get your tickets now or go to stormyp dot com. And I can't wait to see you y'all. It's gonna be so crazy. Somebody might get pregnant. Not gonna be me. Eh,
you might going to check yourself. Please, It's gonna be shot, honestly, Okay, so listen, get your tickets now. You don't want to miss this. It's gonna be lit, all right. I love you guys. I can't wait to see you. Follow me on a gram at Stormy p p e A at Chocolate Chip and sip. And if you don't remember anything else, please remember I got daddy issues. I love you guys, and I see you next week. Peace, Same as it ever was