Toxic Relationships with Amara La Negra

to my podcast, Cheeks and Chill. I'm going to keep today's in show super short so we can get right into the episode. We're gonna be talking about trust and relationships with the one and only A Mara, everything from cell phone passwords to the dudes and the don'ts of social media. So stay tuned. This is Cheeks and Chill. Okay, y'all sitting right here with me today is the one and only. Not only is she a reality TV star, a model, and singer, she's also the host of Mike

Coutura's Exactly Amara podcast. Season two is now out, you guys, Okay, so check it out. So Amada, what's up? Welcome to Chickens and Chill. Gang Gang Gang, Oh, my god, thank you so much for having me. By the way, Mammy, you know, okay, I'm a fan of yours and I've been following you on social media. I think you're so cool. I love your cosmetics, I love your vibe, your energy. By the way, you're extremely bodied and I'm loving it. So I am so glad to be on your show.

Thank you so much for having me. Oh, thank you, of course. I'm so excited. I'm excited to talk to you. You know that one time when we met, I think it was in Univision, right at Univision, and I was like, dude, there's something about this girl, just her energy. And we've been following each other since then. It's been like over two years. So yeah, same to you. So fine, as the Royal Twins shout out to the girls a man,

Yeah yeah, okay. So I'm sure you know what we're gonna talk about today, and I hope you're okay with it. I mean, I know how you are, which is why I wanted to have this conversation with you. You know, I know you're very open it is, which is something I absolutely love about you. Well, we're gonna talk about partners, okay, relationships and trust and social media and everything. How hard or easy do you think it is to trust a partner these days? Like to fully trust a partner? Oh

whit you're supposed to trust them? Oh okay, I didn't know that part No, so I don't trust them. That's messed up for me to say that, Julio, for me to say that, But I don't want to sun them. Okay, I'm all traumatized, but okay I am. I'm not gonnaven lying. You know. I've gone through so many um breakups, bad relationships, things like that, not see the mui the chosa and funny enough, I want to clarify something because people get

this messed up. Sometimes they'll be like you're famous or oh my god, you have such a nice body, you're so pretty, you have money. Guys are trash and even whichever level, not all of them but most most of them. Um. So I feel that after my the father of my daughters, I think, ak okay, the perspective of a relationship, of what love is, of what a partner is, of all those things changed for me. So, yeah, you're supposed to trust them, but can you really trust them? In these days?

I don't think so, Okay, so it's safe to say that you're single right now, Mommy, I am single. I'm ready, Tomingo, look at me. I had twins and I am body and I am ready. And let me see you something. I've been celibate for like eight months, Mommy, mina nice and tight and juicy. Let's go. No manches shot up, not even a finger, mommy, seeing I haven't done nothing, not even a finger, No munches, Nana. I mean I

kiss one guy one time. Okay, okay, so you know what, And I believe you because a while ago, years ago, like more than seven years ago, I was celibate for almost a year, for almost a year, and that ship was like but it was because I was going through my own ship. But like now, I don't know, I'm going through some type of shift. That's a whole other episode. No, no, no, timeout, wait, timeout,

hold on, chiggies. Now, tell me if you can relate to this feeling as an influencer, a public figure, a celebrity, a singer and artist, as somebody that's in the spotlight right yeah, sexually, do you ever feel that it's a little bit, for example, it's weird, don't judge me. I don't care. If you want my pussy, you have to sign this NDA. I made them sign a doc sign signed this NDA, and then you can hit it. I don't care how fine you are. I don't trust you.

I don't trust you if afterwards you're like, oh yeah, or you leak a picture or anything. I'm sewing for everything you don't have. So do you ever feel a bit awkward? Like having said to someone is crazy? Because my team and I have joked around about that I'm in a serious relationship brand I've been with my guy for almost two years. Did he sign that NDA? No? I have not had him sign an NDA. Oh I know.

And it's crazy because we were talking about about marriage right because he was I know, I know she's looking at me. You guys, like what I know listen, Because we were talking about like he was like he wants to marry me, you know, And I was like, okay, I okay, that's a conversation that needs to be had, like I need to take my time. Yeah. Anyways, and I was like, would you sign a prenup? He said absolutely,

Like I would not. I don't care about that, you know, but I've never thought about asking him to sign an NDA. What you gotta be all the way messed up? I mean, if you want this good, if you want this good good I give you want me to do you the pretzel and turn into a poor star and do all the all the good stuff that I know how to do. You got to sign this so I can feel comfortable because you and they sign it straight. Yeah, because the moment you make me feel like you don't want to

sign it. Yeah, that's fishy. That's the red flag, mommy, red flag right there. If you don't care, sign me this dog sign real quick, just send it back. You could read it. It just basically means I'm gonna sue your ass for one million dollars if you decided to come out here doing interviews or don't get nice so we're not doing the Britney Spears over here. You got me all the way with a stuff No, Bobby, No, I'm sorry. Okay. So have you always been like that

or did you learn the hard way? I learned the hard way, and I learned actually I kind of got like this after not the one before, but the one after before that one, the relationship I was with I was with him for a while, and one day he sends me this picture of me sleeping naked. I mean, I'm comfortable enough to you know, we have sex. I

just lay there and I go to sleep. You took a picture of me naked, and then you send it to me like, oh I missed this, da da da, And I said, wait, what when did you take this picture? I didn't even know this, like why would you do that? That's just weird like so and almost made me feel like I don't know. And when I sleep, I knocked out, like the whole world can fall apart and I don't even know. So it made me feel like when I'm not sleep, when I'm sleeping, what are you doing? And

if I'm not, you know I'm sleeping. Even at one point we were having sex. You know, you're all caught up. He turned on the phone like under the pillow and started recording, and then he sent it to me one day like oh it was good last night, and I was like, why would you do that? Yeah? And then if you did it in that way and I didn't even know, I god knows how many times you recorded

me or you did something without me knowing. So I mean, let me tell you because if Tomorrow said, sal you know, sex tape got late Mummy, I'm not gonna stress Zagatman only fans, which I've never done it. Sagaman a lingerie lubricants. We're gonna We're gonna make an empire out of it. Yeah, but you just can't trust people like that these days, especially when you're in the spotlight, because people always, you know,

trying to see what they can take out of you. Yeah, it's because, you know what, More than ever, it's I feel like it's more like that, you know what I mean? Like I had an ex boyfriend gay I didn't even know, Like we broke up, and he says, well, I have a video of you. I never even you that he took it, like when we were having sex obviously doggy style if you guys want to know. And he took the video and I was like, no, you don't. He said, oh,

yeah I do, and he showed it to me. He's like, so if you ever blah blah blah, and I was like, oh hell no. But see that's one thing. You try to threaten me with something like that and be like go ahead, and you didn't learn girl, okay, you know, because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. And I think with this guy, he's just so different. But oh my god, what sign are you? I'm a cancer? Oh my god? Cancers? Yeah, you guys are you're you're

like libers. We get along very well, like slightly hopeless romantic. I know. Okay, you don't get the seed. Okay, as your new best friend, you're gonna talk to your attorney because your man loves you. And I'm sorry, please don't hate me like probably you really know, you know, we've been together ready, we've already smashed. He's a favorite. Just sign this so I feel comfortable, you know, just to sign this right here. And they were good, okay, well okay, well,

I mean, hey, you're right. If he has nothing to hide, then he'd be like, okay, well this is I don't know. Some people might he might be offended. If you have nothing to hide, if you want to make me feel protected and safe, maybe he'll do it. I don't know. No, no, no no, no, no, no, no offended mommy mita no, yes, okay if you offended, offended, you don't want to you don't want to sign the damn paper. You're over here

smashing me no, no no, no, didn't splits. I'll type the crazy stuff and you don't want to send this damn paper is over? Okay, well all right, well that's you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna keep that in mind. Now that we have that established. Now that we have that established, what do you think about sharing your passwords the you know, the passwords to your phone's Like, how do you feel did you ever do that with any of your axes? Yeah, mummy, when I was younger or whatever.

But Omida, as a grown as woman in the place that I am in my life right now, being exactly a maa mamma Mida is not worth it, is it? Literally, don't ever ask your man for his past word. Don't ask for minds, not that I have anything to hide. Maybe I do, but not that I do. It's just not worth it because then if you look, you shall find men be knowing how to do things, and you know exactly they have the they have the fake app you know that looks like a calculator, but it's really

another thing. They have the you know this is my sister uncle a d I don't and it's really the side chick, side bitch and it's like god, you know, like, don't look because you're going to find And that's another thing. Ladies don't go on social media. And I'm more than me. Vie the love of my life. He loves me. He will while while you're doing that, the side bitch is over there giving likes and read indicate, oh, you guys are so cute together. I've seen that happen. I know,

so don't don't look. You're gonna find it. He is if you want to know, Yes, you wanted to know the truth. Yes, he's talking to another bitch. He's talking to another girl. He is. Please don't think that he's not. They can know he only talks to me. Listen, men always talk to several girls. You are the main one, you're the number one. But after one comes to three

and four, nor mine. You know, he has the one that tells them there you're so set or her bood or as they like to feel, their ego pumped up, except yours, not yours, is yours only had it only talks to me, I just made that here. I was like, damn girl, you got me thinking no, But you know what, I think that every guy goes through that part or that phase or whatever the hell you want to call it of Like, yes, he's a little bastard and he does all kinds of fucked up shit to his girl,

you know what I mean. And he's saying, yeah, I'm tired of this. I want to be right, yeah for like a week. Okay, see, I mean because I can't even Ama Amara, because to me, you're a very sexy like woman and very intelligent and a full package. They've they've done this to you, They've like hurt you this way. Ninya say they're all trash. It's just somehime more trash than others. You just have to pick between the dumpster. But the truth of the matter, no, no, no, made that. No, guys.

I love you guys so much. You guys are so important to us in this world. And yes there's a lot of important parts of your that we need. But besides that that you very much. Um. I feel that the more honest you are with yourself, the less it hurts with time. And as much as I laugh about it and joke around it, you know it's the truth. I think that sometimes when you just stop lying to yourself or you know, you live in this fantasy world of perfection of what a relationships should be like. And

realistically that's not the truth. I think the society and TV and overall they sell us this facade, even even as a child of princesses and and prince and it's like, is that reality? Is that true? For the most part is most relationships that have lasted many years have gone through the rota culsters of emotions of you know, cheating partners of men or women that have had children. Outside of the relationships of many things. That's really where quote

unquote love starts. When you're able to forgive, when you're able to be you know, um patient in the process. So I just feel like me being honest with myself. Shit happens, you know, and you have to be and it's the truth. Shit happens. And it's like you you may eat in vegetables every day, but one day you're gonna get sick of it, and another day when you may want to have noodles, so you think they're not gonna go out there and have the No, that's it,

You're gonna wat noodles. I love you, Oh my god. Okay. So I feel like from what I see and from what I know, like you're a very confident woman. Are you like in a relationship, like, for instance, are you that girlfriend that it's like, you know, we talked about the past code, right, yeah? Do you don't feel like it's necessary? Then you don't feel like it's necessary for you to have his past code and he has yours?

Now do you feel like about Like, for instance, if you see your man liking and commenting on another girl's page, not necessarily in a flirty way, but it's like, oh, get a girl like she's working out. Let's say, yeah, she's a good looking girl. How would you react to that? You got me all the way messed up? What the hell are you giving this a damn liking her picture publicly? Trying to embarrass me? Have you lost your damn mind?

If you're gonna like this gang's picture or whatever, please do it privately her DM like the rest of the guys do. Okay, that's how the men do it. You talk to her in the DMS because I already know you're gonna do it. Don't like her publicly. And here's another thing, ladies, when you go to your man's Instagram, boom, check this out. And I found this out too, because I'm the low I am a little bit of a stalker and I know you're not supposed to do it,

but I can't help it. So you go and you go and you go to there, you go to your man's page and you go see either you know who they're following. But if you guys follow you know a lot of people in common. The one that you both follow will show up first and then the rest. But if you create another page from your Instagram, like a bootleg page, it will show them in order who they're following.

Did you know them? So every time it's just to follow a new skank boom, you could see who it is and I go right in there and I'd be looking like, well the hell are you fla hell are you talking to my man? Okay, now, so that's that's how you do it, mommy, that's how you that's how you stock on the low. So a burner account. Yeah, but it came okay, so much work, and it's like you're gonna do it anyways. I just say, don't embarrass

me publicly, don't talk to the gang publicly. Bora pictures and she's taking a picture of the gain a baby's with half of her ass? Why are you I don't like other men's pictures publicly, I'm not gonna ever embarrass you that way because we were gonna be like, yo, isn't that Blasi Blasi's girl? So why are you doing it? Okay? Okay, all right? Is that bad? Am I being a being?

Come get possessive meet up. I'll take all of it privately, okay, publicly the image, yeah, the image publicly Baccano being, I feel I'm there with you if you're gonna like like a picture, because like my boyfriend friend Stance follows all kinds of models, pretty girls, all his girlfriends then muchez amigas like beautiful girls, and of course I'm like, he's gonna like the pictures, and I'm like, I've gotten to the point where after a year, I'm just like, y,

I don't am not gonna look I'm not. I have to understand, like these are his friends and these are the people that he has followed before I was in his life. So I've worked on with my therapist to be more confident because I also don't want him to limit me. Of course, I'm not going to be disrespectful and like write anything on some other guy's page. You know what I mean, you have to I agree with you, like I'm a public figure, you know, like you have

to understand that and respect that. So I completely I get you. I get you. It's just I know I was a lot more you'm with toxic on my past relationship. But it also has to do with how he was I think, and the things that he was doing because he was doing bad things and it made me feel like, oh wait, he made me doubt him. I also feel that sometimes, let's be honest, women, we normally like to name ourselves when our significant other does something, will find

all the reasons why we messed up. Yeah, but men also cause women to act crazy. Let's talk about it. It's not always just us. You must have done something, your behavior must have changed. For example, women may cheat and our behavior will continue to be the same. Men, in the other hand, you'll act different. You want to get colonia, work out and do the most, and you're acting weird. This is not you. Something's happening, So you must be doing something that's going to cause a woman

to react a certain type of ways. So, yeah, maybe I am a little toxic. Maybe I am a little crazy, and I like that with every men. Some men know how to bring it out of me more than others. That is true, That is absolutely true. I don't know. Maybe I do have problem with schemes having no no, no no, no, I don't think you have problems. I think you've been through a lot. I think you haven't found like a man that values you for the woman that you are.

And I'm telling you because here's the thing, this is fucking crazy. I'm telling you this a whole other episode. We gotta get together and talk about it. But my past relationships before this one, they were very toxic. One was very controlling over me. And then the second one that I jumped into right away, then I became a little bit more possessive of him, and he would do things that just were out a line. He just was

never ready to be in a relationship. He didn't know how to be a good partner, and I had to learn and I thank him for that. And now that I'm in a healthy relationship, I'm starting to see things that I did wrong in my past relationships, you know what I mean, and things that I can change to better myself. But that doesn't take away all the fuck up shit they did to me because one time my

one of my export friends like I Seexica. Yeahs, you need to take responsibility and accountability for what you did to bring that out in me, because I just didn't wake up and want to be like no, no, no. It was because you had done a lot of things seeing to cause me to feel that way, to be like, Okay, well why are you hiding your phone or you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, so I get you. I get you. Now let me ask you this when you

when you said that you're you're significant other? Now, has you know a lot of female friends that that he follows or that he knows this and that little do you ever feel or question that maybe he's entertaining any of them, that maybe he was with any of them? Do are you guys cool? Are you cool with any of those girls you see them? Like? How is that relationshi?

You know, he was very straight up from the beginning, and I think we were both on the same page because we came from very difficult relationships, so we were very aware of that. So he's like, hey, I want you to meet my friends. So it so happened to be that it was like two guys and like five girls,

and so he has a lot of girlfriends. Yeah, and they're all beautiful and I know them, and that's something very different for me because where I was like, well, you know, I grew up with a man should not be best friends or have a best friend as like a female best friend. It was kind of I grew up with that mentality and this has been very different for me. But they're all very respectful. Um. He texts with a lot of them all day long. No, no, no,

no, no no, no, no time out. Yeah he does no, no, no, excuse me, sir, sir, ma'am, ma'am sir, No, sir, it's not happening. No, but what type of covers are we? Wait? Yeah, and he does. He talks to him a lot. No, no, no, no, we we need to talk to them a lot. It's a wee thing. You know. Let's do a group chat. How about that? Yeah, because I want to be part of the conversation. What are you guys talking about? You know?

To please, ma'am, do not be ready. Mind they get good morning, they get good morning, they get good night, they get how are your frame that you eat? If he ate or not? Okay, I'm gonna make sure that he eats and he's very well. He's feeling just fine, ma'am. Okay, I don't know. I'm just not bored. Oh my god, does that make me toxic? Well, you know what I think. I think it's it's gottack in, you know what I mean. Like,

I'm telling you, I was very uncomfortable with it. And now that we do dinners and we hang out and I have their numbers, what do you be into swinging? No? Not yet, girl. Well sometimes sometimes I'm like, oh, that girl's pretty, you know, but I haven't we have I have not yet had a threesome yet. Yeah, I'm not. I'm saying yet because I've thought about it. Oh wait, welcome to the team. Neither have I. I've never had a threesome. Yeah, I've thought about having an orgy in

my mind. It doesn't mean I'm actually gonna go ahead and do it. Yeah. No. And here's the thing though, we're talking about that. I've talked to my boyfriend or I've talked to it like it always sucks it. It's like, oh, yeah, we could do it with another girl. I'm like, okay, well, what if it's a threesome with another guy. Oh no, no,

no, no no, okay, no wait, see that's not fair. So I'm just like, well, we're not gonna go into into like the threesomething because every time I think, anytime you bring someone else in the relationship, it's gonna mess things up. So don't even open up that. Don't open that kind of worms. No, no, meta. Let me tell you something I work with. I work with this event called Mocha Fest and they were just here. We went to cam Koon.

They were just in the Dominican Republic, and you know they do um they do like swingings and they do they're very sexually liberated type of event. And I was like, wow, just being there made me very open mind into looking into it. In my mind of how would it be to have a threesome with like another man And you say all those things when you're horning, but then once you're done, is like, what would you do that? But in the moment you're like, oh, yeah, that's had such

a great idea. I don't know, that's just me in my mind. Yeah, but um, I think that you should you should be sexually liberated. He should experiment to where you're comfortable I think that um also with your significant other. Meta.

Whoever's gonna cheat, they're gonna cheat regardless. I do think that is important to be sexually open and liberated with your partners so they don't necessarily feel the need to go explore somewhere else, and you know, have fun and be cool with each other, even though get regardless, regardless, behind your head, when they see the next gang, they're gonna be like, oh, because that's how they are. Women neither hand be fun enough. Hoone's and her children really married.

They're not thinking about that. But that comes with time, maturity. And I'll tell you this much, my daughter's really made me become even more grounded. I've always been very humble. I've always been real cool, real down to earth, having two girls, having two babies, having being a single mother at this point, when I thought that I would have my fairy tale. When I thought that, you know, I've been waiting for so long, or you know I'm thirty two now, I waited. I've been a good girl. I

haven't been messing around with anybody. I do things right. I'm a good daughter. I'm a good mother, like I'm a good woman. I thought I would have my fairy tale and it didn't turn out that way. So it just put things in perspective for me of like, you have to be realistic to what life may be for you. It may not always turn out to be the way that you plan, and you have to be prepared for that. And the meantime, you have to live. Sometimes we don't really live were we want things to be so perfect

and so right. You no want to set us see, and that's okay too. So I don't know. I just think that my mentality has changed a lot now, Yeah, I bet, especially after having two girls, and I think, like you, you are their prime example, you know, so it's like you. It just forces you to be like, hey, I want to show these girls how to be better than me in every way. I'm a saying I don't have kids yet, but I could just assume it's a huge responsibility. You have two girls, you know, two, so

it's scare of them girls. It is a lot of responsibility. It does make you mature, it makes you be I became like a mama bear. I became fearless. If I was a workaholic before, I work even harder now and and now even for my dating scene. Things have changed because it's not just about the now I'm thinking about banake Bobby. You're gonna come over here, I splo, Okay, You're gonna add all these damn miles into my total for nothing? And what am I gonna gain out of this? Ah? No,

I'm gonna getting nothing out of it. And then on top of that, even if I like you, are you a good man enough for me to bring around my daughters? You know? Now, it's just it's not just about me. Once you become a mother. For the girls out there listening, you know, the feeling you can relate is like, are you cool enough to be around my kids? How you act around them? You never know? So dating now has changed for me. Now it's more like a grown woman,

Like it's not even so much about having fun. It's like, I'm a grown woman. Now, what do you really bring to the table? Because I know I didn't bring the table. I made the damn table. How about that I set that ship up? Yeah? No, I totally get it. I totally get it. And I see you on Instagram and you hustle girls, you know Las Casas the transportation like you're singing like I'm like, dude, I admire your hustle

one hundred percent. Thank you. And if you guys don't actually, can you share your your socials with us so that if they don't follow you, they go follow you. Please? Yeah, yeah, for sure, guys, go check me out at Amda la al Na and you can also check out my podcast at exactly Amada exactly amada um and then in there you'll see you know, my transportation, my girls less royal twins. Ummm, they're also working. No, what do you think the diapers

in the formulas expensive? I put them to work right away. No, no, no, that your baby influencers. I saw that. I'm like, that is so cute. Hey, listen, it's a good way to empower them. I agree, I absolutely What are you thinking? Do you want to be a mother? Do you want to have children? You know what? I go in and out see kiato, I want to steal. I'm finally living this maybe that where I just feel free? Yes, and I want to continue with that and do my thing.

And I've raised children like my siblings, so it's like I would love that, and it happens, I'll welcome it with happiness, you know. So I'm just chilling. I'm not on birth control. I'm not trying, and I'm not not trying you feel me. I'm just doing my thing. Okay, but let me let let's let's let's um figure all those things out after that, damn NDA. But yeah, for sure, I think he's a beautiful thing. I love it. Oh my god. You guys heard it here on Chickens and Chill.

Mada asked her to get the NDA. Girls you already know, don't trust it. Okay, keep your eyes open and you know, be open to love, but also be open into protecting your heart, protecting yourself. As women, we have to empower each other and this is a good tip to out to the girls out there listening. So with that being said, chiggies, I might be happy. Thank you so much for having me on your show. I'm so grateful. I'm such a fan.

I admire you so much. I can't wait for my girls to meet you in speed believe it or not, Because you don't know how many women you know check out your page and the things that you've done in the way that you inspire us, and I'm just so proud of you. Oh, thank you am likewise, honestly that, and thank you for taking the time to be here on Chiggies and Chill. And thank you because I know you are in dr and you made it happen so

much as yes, and I will see you soon. And you guys know we always end every episode of Chickens and Chill with a quote, and the quote for today is a healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves. So there you have it, you guys, thank you so much for listening

to Chickis and Chill. Amara, Thank you so much you and I will catch you guys here on the next episode of Chickies and Chill los Amo, do you need advice on love, relationships, health emas. I'm so excited to share with you that my Cheekies and Chill podcast will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice message. All you have to do is go to speak pipe dot com slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and record your questions.

I can't wait to hear from you. This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michel Dura podcasts and follow me Cheekies That's c hi Quis. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast est and check us out on YouTube