Season Finale: Answering your preguntas!

to lose your brother or that relationship. Allo, look at that. How is everyone today? I hope you're all doing really well. I'm feeling good, but I'm also feeling a little bitter sweet. That's because today mark's the final episode of the season. You guys. I've enjoyed sharing so much of my life with you guys, and I can't wait to continue sharing more in the future. It's been amazing with chickens and chill with your cheekies, listening to you guys, it's been

a form of therapy for me. It's been beautiful. So I want to say thank you to everyone that has listened, that has shared my podcast, that has saved it. That is a subscriber, So thank you guys so much. On today's episode is going to be a little different, so stay tuned. This is Chicks and Chill. Okay, So, for those of you who don't know, I have a shorter

advice podcast that publishes every Wednesday called Your Cheekies. It's where I answer your questions personally and honestly, I've really enjoyed hearing from you guys personally and weighing in on your situation. So I thought i'd answer a bunch of questions from you here on Cheeks and Chill. Now, I'm not a professional by any means, so if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, please please please please seek help. Okay, So, without further ado, let's get into these questions. The first

question was submitted anonymously. What advice would you give to the younger generation? Now? Oh, short and sweet, okay, look, read a book. I think for me, it makes me a little It worries me a little bit. You guys that everyone is so stuck on their phones. Yes, phones are important, but my advice is memorized a phone number. Now, it's like we realize so much on our cell phones, and me too, so I would tell you read a book, memorize phone numbers, because you never know you're gonna need that,

you're gonna need someone's phone number. You know, God forbid for an emergency one day. Be still, stop and smell the roses, you guys. Like, sometimes we're so stuck in the rat race of life and and it's just I want to look like this, and we're comparing ourselves to so many people and it's like, you know, I mean, hands down, the Kardashians are beautiful, but it's like everyone wants to look at Kardashians and it's like, you guys, not that it's not realistic, but there's so much to that,

you guys. So I just want you to stop and smell the roses and see what's around you, and see how beautiful the sky is, and touch the trees and smell the roses, and it's just so important, Like just stop for a little bit, put your phone away and going to fucking walk and admire the real natural beauty that this earth offers us. And don't let her. Oh my god, my biggest pet peeve, don't litter and recycle. That's what I would tell the generation. Now that's all,

thank you so much for your question. I like that one actually, that would make me feel good. Okay, So next up is a question from Johanna. Hi, cheekies. Just wanted to say, first all, you are a freaking goddess. You are so down to earth. You can just see it coming out of the screen. You always have such a good vibe around you, and I love it. I have a little situation at work. Some of these women are not very content I guess with their life, so

they tend to bring that energy into work. And there has been situations where are usually just a quiet when they have something negative to say or certain comments. But then after a while, I mean I am human, I do respond in a very nonpleasant way and they might turn around and look at me like I'm the crazy

one or something's wrong with me. With that being said, have you ever worked in an environment where it's not very pleasant to come to or have some sort of toxic energy and if so, how have you dealt with that? And again, thank you for answering my question. And you're freaking awesome, Joan. I know you're so sweet, you guys.

I swear when I hear your voice and I just hear that you guys take the time to send me these questions and then you tell me so many beautiful things and it's like exactly what my heart needs to listen or here at the moment. So Johnna, thank you so much for those beautiful things you said. Ah, you made me feel better. You know that I have bad days,

two guys, So anyways, okay, let me get your question. Yes, I have definitely worked, not even worked, but also went to school with the teacher that was kind of negative. That's a whole other episode. But in the job that I'm in now, you guys, the media just sometimes they bombard you and they get into your personal space and

in your personal life. And I could be at dinner with my boyfriend and there's a camera when I walk out, and it's just so invasive, it's toxic, and it's taken everything out of me that sometimes they say some ship that's out of line for me not to snap back, And it's only it's easier said than done, because I know, Johnna, like you said, it's you know, women can sometimes be a little toxic. I mean, you know, jealous, and it's like you want to always up another woman, which it

shouldn't be that way. We should always uplift each other. So the reason I'm bringing this up is because that's exactly what they want. See the stumpy gun though they're pushing your buttons, is because they want a reaction from you, and exactly for that to be able to say, well you see, you know what I mean, like point it back at you. That's why I've done my best. Meditation

has helped me so much. Meditation, prayer has helped me so much because I never know what they're gonna ask me the media, and for me, I think those are the mean girls in my industry, and my job in my career is is the media. Sometimes they ask you some craziest ship that is just like something I want to just flip them off. I'm not even gonna lie like I'm just like f you guys, But I don't want to give them that satisfaction. So my thing is,

don't give them that satisfaction. Oh you those so those I'm telling you it is definitely much easier said than done. But this to take you out of your peace. Try to ignore them and be like, you know what we mean, there's something wrong with you? You need love? Do you need a hug. One day, you should surprise them and say, you know what, I think you need a hug today.

Come here. She probably won't come, but it's like, you need a hug, you need love because if you were happy and content, like you said, with your life, you wouldn't be talking ship or trying to make someone else feel bad. So that's my advice to you, Joanna, and I hope it helped, and I hope he gets better the situation. Okay, because there's always going to be mean

girls anyways. Okay, our next question comes from Liz, my brother and I. I'm the oldest on the middle child, but he's my little brother and we don't have the same dad's so obviously my side of the family of my father isn't related to him. But yet I think his side of his dad's side, I call his cousins my cousins. You know, that's just to me for family.

So he recently told me that my closest cousin from my dad's side and him started talking and I went off, like I flipped the f off, like what are you serious? And he was like, oh, don't tell her. We were planning on telling you together. I'm like, I don't care how you plan on telling me. I don't agree with it, and I'm mad at her for you know, why would she talk to you? You're like family, Like that's to me, that's gross. Am I being crazy to think this way? Okay?

First of all, no, I don't think that you're crazy. You should always validate your emotions. They are yours and sometimes our emotions aren't always reliable. But if you're feeling some type of way, it's because you're feeling some type of way. But they're not necessarily related. They don't have the same blood. So I think in a way it is fair game. But if it bothers you, I think that you should definitely be vocal about it like you

have been. I this is a little tough for me, you guys, because I'm all about live and let live. If this is what's making your brother happy, and this is going to make them happy, then then so be it. And you don't want to lose your brother or that relationship because it is because he's going to do whatever he wants. So I think ultimately we kind of have to put our feelings to the side and just say, look, I don't agree with it. I don't think it's okay.

I wouldn't do that, but I love you and I'm going to respect your decision because I love you brother and he's going to need you. And what if that relationship or whatever is going on there doesn't work. You don't want to lose your brother over something like this, you know what I mean. So I don't think you're crazy. I completely validate your your feelings. I get it, but I think if I were you, I would just say, look, I'm not cool with it, but I'm not going to

let that get between my relationship with my brother. But it's always good to be honest. So that's my two cents on it, Liz, And I'm kind of curious to see what happens there. Okay, So maybe i'll hear from you soon. Thank you so much for your question, and I hope you feel better. Okay, So looks like our

next question comes from Marisol. What advice do you give if somebody wants to start like a certain business or not specifically a business, but letting go of yourself and doing what you want to do, Like I'm tired of being like on the comfort zone and always you know, living by day by day, check by check and and local answer you knowing sere you know, pay the like I'm tired of that and you know, really want to do something from my family? How do you start letting

go wanting to do something different? Okay, So it sounds to me that your soul is asking you for a change. That's more than apparent to me. And we shouldn't ignore that sin that you're tired, you know, of living from paycheck to paycheck. That's good that you you want this change. Change is good. Change is uncomfortable, it always is. But if we don't change and we always stay in our comfort zone, we're never going to grow and anyway mentally financially, like,

we need to take risks. What I would suggest is keeping your job, your current job, and from every paycheck, maybe putting I don't know, fifty whatever you can dollars to the side, save up some money and figure out what you're passionate about. Don't quit your job, you know, keep that job because you you need that in order to kind of ease your way into a new business. I don't know. It could be baking cakes, it could be algo to start a business. It's gonna take a

little bit. Be patient, you know it takes one or two years to get a business going, so just know that it's not gonna happen from one day to another. And if it does, wow, that's great and it's a miracle and it's heaven sent. Save a little bit. But you don't have to start off big. You can start off little by little. Figure out what your passion is. What you're passionate about. Could be jewelry, it could be

I don't know, clothes. Al like a small business while you're still working, so that it just brings and ignites this fire within you again, because it does sound like you're a little tired, which is good because that means you're you get gambo that that's a good thing. That you should be very proud of yourself for a feeling of okay, I want more out of life. Is say a little bit and be patient and figure out. Meanwhile,

what do you want to get your hands into. I'm wishing you the best in this new endeavor, this new business that might be Ina. And now I have a question from so cheat. When I was reading your book, Um, I read the part where you stated that learned so would spit at you. How did you overcome that scenario in your life. I'm currently going through a domestic violence relationship with my husband because unfortunately, he is a drug addict and he's sticked to med and as time passes by,

things keep getting worse. Just this morning, he spit at me again, and it spent not once, but many times. Every time I think about it, I just get really grossed out. I feel degraded, and I don't feel like I love myself as just as much as I used to. And I just want to know how you it? How did you let go? Oh? My goodness, actually is that again? I always say this you guys. I'm not a professional seek help, a therapist, to counselor a life coach, but

I'm going to tell you from my personal experience. I told myself I was going to leave. What I wrote in my book. In my book was a very difficult time in my life, and I was completely head over heels in love and I wanted to make it work. So no one should judge us for wanting to make our relationship, our marriage work. You know, even if sometimes it's bad, it gets bad, there are bad moments. Now, your husband has things that he needs to deal with, and this is where you have to find the courage

to love yourself a little more. It's not okay for him to put his hands on you, to spit on you, to spit in your face. I think you know that, and you do. You. You have to find that love within yourself to love yourself more, and in my opinion, walk away. And it is a disease. You know, what he's going through, being addicted to drugs is a disease, and he does need help. But if he doesn't want to change, and if he doesn't want help, then there's

nothing that you could do about that. You're going to be stuck in this vicious cycle and it's just going to get worse and worse, and you are going to get emotionally depleted, and it's just going to affect every area of your life. So as hard as it is, I'm assuming, I don't know if you guys have children, and it makes it even harder. But if you feel that it's causing you a lot more pain than happiness, then you have to find the courage to walk away.

Bit as your friend, I'm telling you this because this is what I would tell my sister or my best friend. You need to find someone that can help you get yourself out of this relationship, because God forbid, it can get worse. And I don't want to say what, but meth is very, very very heavy drug that changes your mind and changes who are forever. Even if he gets off, it's gonna affect him forever. I am praying that it gets better and that God loyal by luminard and then

he stops this. But I don't know. It sounds like you've been going through this for a long time, so try to find some help and talk to a counselor talk to someone that can help you to get out of this situation. Because I don't have a good feeling about it. I hear in your voice and it's just I'm worried. I'm gonna be praying for you, so chill and if you decide to stay with him, I'm not going to judge you. I'm gonna tell you, girl, try to get out of this as soon as you can.

Love yourself a little bit more, love yourself and and if you have kids, love your children more and love life. There's a whole future waiting for you. So that is my advice, and I hope it helped. Just a big big hug. Oh my goodness, guys. Okay. Her next question was submitted by Yeah, yeah, I am and you possibly follower. I found you and I'm so grateful I found you

my husband and I watch for your friends. If I loved me and your are is just so amazing and um, we just love like your personality and who you are as a person. I have a question for you. I've got no contact with my mom and I'm struggling with that. My mom was toxic still is, so she decided for me to go non contact of our money, you know, and money is a big issue, especially in the Latin community. So right now I'm struggling. It's not fair to my kids. Um,

what would you do? Would you just reach out? Like should I just you know, stay and do what I'm continuing to do. I guess I grieve the grandma that I wish my kids had, and I grieve the relationship that I wish I had with my mom. Okay, yeah, yeah, First of all, thank you so much. Welcome to the boss be Nation family. I appreciate you. Um, I'm so

sorry to hear about this situation with your mom. That's always very difficult and I'd be the first to tell you reach out to her because you just never know what will happen tomorrow. I mean, that's your mom at the end of the day. But on the other hand, if she's toxic, and I said this before, if she causes you more pain than happiness, more stress, then peace doesn't matter who it is. You need to stay away from those things because it's going to affect your relationship.

It's going to affect your children. That is your priority. I believe that once you get married and you have children, that is your priority. Everyone else comes second, and your mom at this point comes second. And if you feel it in your heart to reach out and try to talk to her, do it. And if you have peace with that decision as low and if she's still who she is and she hasn't changed, and she causes you stress and anxiety and makes you feel nervous, then stay away.

Some people will criticize it and be like okay, especially in our culture, it's like, you need to love your mom. You need to and yes, I'm not saying not to love her. I yes, honor her from Afar. You can love people from Afar. You can respect your mother from of our prey for her. But if she's affecting you more, how would you say? Love her? Don't you dance? Yea no? But I'm going to tell you try. Definitely you should. You should reach out, You should write a letter. You

should send her flowers, even if she doesn't respond. If that's what you feel in your heart, boom, little by little, you can soften her heart, kill her with kindness. But if it doesn't work, then at least you know you tried. But right now you need to protect your children and your husband and and and that is what's most important. And I know that you wish that your children had

a grandmother, but that's out of your hands. If your mother wanted to be a part of her grandchildren's life, believe me, she would, and she would make the changes necessary. So they have you and they have their dad, and they'll be fine. Believe me. I'm praying for you, for your family, for your mommy. And yeah, that's whine spree baby. Thank you so much, and again, welcome to the bossby Nation family. We love you, alright, guys, we got some

good ones, all right. Next question, I'm not sure who this question is from because you didn't leave your name, but let's play it and see what her question is. Hi, Cheekings. First of all, I just wanted to give a big shout out. I'm super look up to you, seeing you guys a show and everything. It's just it's interesting how you know we kind of went through very similar situations and you know, we're all here trying to live our

best lives and look past all that. So thank you for being such an inspiration to a lot of us. But my question to you is, I know you said that you know you've got socially abuse from your father, and I'm so sorry to hear that, and I've had a very similar situation. I really don't want to see who it was in my family. But how did you learn to get past that when you started dating again? Because I know is the I kind of just pull

like this extra tall, you know, wall up. I don't know when to feel safe to bring it down because I would just get like this feeling that that's all guys want, and it makes me feel like very uncomfortable. So how did you learn to get past that? Who? I wish I knew your name because I love to call people by their name, but I would call you lovely, okay, um look, I don't know if you've read my book Forgiveness, but I talked about it in that book, or better

than in Spanish. I talked about it because the sexual abuse did affect my relationship, especially like my first serious relationship, I had to have sex with a light on. I didn't want to have sex all the time. It really did affect me in a way that I thought it wouldn't write. And then I also talked in the book, which is why I started dating a girl. I'm not telling you to go day a girl, and that's what

I'm saying. But what I'm saying is because as I thought exactly what what you're thinking, guys just want sex, and I wanted someone that was going to be there for me emotionally and stimulate my mind, did not necessarily stimulate something else, if you know what I'm talking about. I just wanted to be left alone in that area. What really helped me was going to therapy, finding someone that I could just talk to, and they gave me

the tools. It takes a while to get over that, but one piece of advice that they gave me was not everyone, not every guy is the same, that every guy is like your dad, not every guy is your dad. It just helped me feel a little bit more safe in my relationships where it's like, Okay, sex is a part of a relationship, is part of life. It's something that we both need, women and men, you know. So that helped me a lot. And and again I would really suggest for you to to seek counseling and speak

to someone a professional about this. But that's would help me. And I totally get where you're coming from and what you're feeling. It's gonna take some time, and you have to be intentional about wanting to heal and saying Okay, I have to see sex as something that's beautiful that I'm sharing with this person. And once you change your mind with that most like something that you're sharing in, something that you are connecting with someone on a different level,

it changes your perspective. So that's really all I could say. But again, you guys always know, I tell you, you know, see counseling. I'm a huge advocate for counseling. It's helped my life tremendously. And pray, pray, meditate. Meditation helps a lot you guys. So I hope I was able to

help you. And yeah, lovely. I'm going to be praying for you for sure on this topic because I totally get it all right, guys, So our final question comes from Georgina um Domando ormonas sando you always chequis Lasorginat Jones Albo tancomon Emona doctor and Mastimos Casios dr Alivos.

The e O Lesta in Irvine, the us PERT and Google search is hormone therapy ei premed are ormonez de la paro meronchesta strone ques lombre muca estrogen valencielomucco herea como mass lama system mass firmembres memos to lost in the air, contain affect that on AO and just look up hormone therapy in Google as them as two consulta mecanta bueno. Guys, I really do feel like you're my best friends, so I hope my advice helps. Thank you

so much for sticking with me. Oh season, I've shared some very personal stuff and I feel blessed to have this platform to speak to you all. I know the holidays are coming, so I hope you have a chance to spend some quality time with friends and family this December also marks ten years since my mom, Jenny Rivera, passed, so it's a big year for me and my family. There's a lot of special things coming, a lot of

new me music from my mom. I am happy and proud that my siblings are closer than ever were united. I can't wait to host Thanksgiving in my home and Christmas. I wasn't able to do it last year case I was moving in, but this year I'm excited. So I hope you all enjoy the holidays with your family. Remember to just stop and smell the roses. Okay, Yes, I love you guys and thank you once again. And new episodes of Cheekies and Chill and Dear Cheekies return in January.

Head over to speak pipe dot com slash Cheekies and Chill podcast and leave your questions for cheek Ease. This is a production of I Heart Radio and the Michael Goa podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael Gura Podcasts and follow me cheeks That's c h I q U I s. For more podcasts from My heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast ust or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. M M HM