Hello, everyone, Welcome to Cheeky's and Chill Happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Whenever you are listening to this podcast, to this episode, I hope you're having a good day. This week for me has been a little crazy, to be honest, but good. It's kind of like the you know, you're winding down the years ending. A lot of stuff is happening, but I'm happy nonetheless, and I hope you are too. So
this episode is going to be a personal one. It's the Mike and I. We're going to be talking about something a lot of people have been asking about because they saw it on Cheeky sinfieldro my docu follow when we went to go visit my mom in Mexico.
Well sounds weird? Was in my mom in Mexico? Well were my.
Mom passed, where my mom's plane crashed. So that's what we're going to be talking about today because a lot of people asked how that came about, and they just wanted a little bit more details.
So we went earlier this year. It's going to be what twelve.
Years since my mom's passing, and in December it'll be twelve years and we waited this long because a lot of us weren't ready. It's five of us, five children, and I didn't want to go without them, and Johnny wasn't ready and I wasn't ready for a long time. So anyways, it happened when it was supposed to happen. It happened in Monterrey, Mexico. That's where the plane, you know, crashed. It's still so weird for me to talk about it,
to like talk, I just I don't know. It's weird when people ask me, you know, how you know, how old is your mom? Like, oh, my mom was forty four years old, and then they asked, okay, how did she pass? And I say, yeah, It's just so weird to me still, it's just I can't believe it. So anyways, we wanted to go out there. I feel like for me, it was part of my healing journey before getting married. I wanted to kind of get some closure in a way, because.
I never really got it.
My mom and I weren't on speaking terms. So when that happened, so many things came crumbling down in my life. So I think I worked so hard and was so focused on work, work, work, work, work to kind of just not deal with the pain for so long that it came to a point where I'm like, I can't ignore this. This is part of my life, this is part of my truth. And I told my siblings. I was like, I'm ready to go. Who wants to come with me? You know, because we always heard it was
a hike and the whole thing. And I talked to Emilio, my husband, about it, and now my husband because he wasn't my husband then when we went, and he said yeah, that he was down to go, and so we all went. And it's called it is where it is, and it again it's a monterrey, so it was a mountain, it's someone's property. It's a farmer has like a huge land, has huge land. And so now we met him, we met his family, his his his wife.
We met also his son.
His son was and his cousin were one of uh our guides to get up there. They told this in the beginning, Oh, it's going to be like a four hour hike. We're like, oh damn, okay. I was like, my mom's worth it. Let's do it, you know, let's go. But it didn't take us that long. It took us like they were very surprised, you know. So it took us like, I don't know, maybe like a little bit less than two hours.
It was very hot.
I felt fine for the most part because my siblings were with me, and I've been doing a lot of healing and a lot of like soul searching and therapy, and also having Emilio there helped a lot. So I I didn't go there expecting anything. I was just like, I just want to go and see what I feel. So that's exactly like what I did.
On the way up there.
My siblings and I were just listening to music, to songs that she liked and her songs, and we were all pretty happy for the most part, I think because we were together when we were doing it together, and yeah, I thought Johnny would have broken down a little more, but the one that broke down more was my brother Mikey. I don't know, I just didn't expect it, and I
think it really helped him a lot. So anyways, going up there, walking up there, it was very nice, a very very beautiful mountain, and I always felt like where that happened, that incident and that catastrophe, I always thought it was going to be like dark and cold and ugly, and I I didn't know that's what I imagined. So I'm so happy that I was able to go and walking up there in silence and you know, talking you know,
to my siblings here and there was really cool. And that we were able to document the you know, the the that day was awesome because then I can show my kids or maybe, I don't know, maybe one day take my kids. We even thought about taking my nieces and nephews one day, but it was so pretty, it was so green and so peaceful. When we actually got to where it happened, I can't the breeze was so nice. It's crazy how much peace I felt. I even thought in a moment, I'm like, why am I not crying?
Why am I not sad? Like I'm like something wrong with me? But then when I thought about it, like I'm like, no, nothing's wrong with me. I'm I'm I'm good. Even though things happened the way that happened with my mom and I and we weren't able to speak, like, I feel like I have a very beautiful connection with her, and I got the closure that I needed because when we were just sitting there listening to her music, and my brother was we were all kind of doing our
own thing. Jenica did cry. She's very very reserved. She went, you know, off to on her own to do her thing. Mikey too, and I just I stood there and I was like kind of closed my eyes and I prayed. I'm like, what am I supposed to get out of this moment? Like what am I looking for? Because I didn't even really know. I just knew it was something I needed to do and I wanted to do with my siblings. So I just all I could hear was it's okay.
To let go.
And I'm like, and I'm like, what, Like it's weird, it's I don't know if it was. I obviously didn't hear someone say it. It was something that I felt in my soul and I but I heard it clearly, like it's okay to let go, And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, I just know that I felt so much peace, and I felt like my mom is good. My mom is so good and at peace wherever she
may be. Because I do feel that there's life after this life, whether it's in heaven or I don't know, but I feel she's so busy, so consumed in her new life, doing her thing, she's happy, and she's still watching over us.
But I feel her. And this might sound weird, but I feel her far yet close. It's so weird.
What I got out of that whole experience and what I have felt after that is just it's okay to let my siblings go, to let them grow, to not hold on so tight, to get married, because that's kind of like what I wanted in a way. I hadn't said any thing to anyone about it, but it was like, it's okay to let go of me, your mother, and step into your new life, which is because I was very scared of getting remarried and I never thought I
was going to do it again. I wanted to, but I was like, I don't know if it's ever going to happen for me, and I just felt like her blessing in that moment. I again, I don't know how to explain it. I can't even going back to that moment and closing my eyes is just such a unique experience that I can't even tell you everything that I felt.
I can't even like explain it in words. I just know that I got this like beautiful feeling, like of and now ever since I did that, I used to cry so much on stage for my mom so much, and I did I did that before I started this new tour, the A'm on this tour that was like I think this happened like in April, if I'm not mistaken when we went out there, and I don't cry for her the way I used to on stage or when I would sing her songs, like I think of her,
but it's not a sadness anymore. It's not like this grieving. It's it's peace. It's like it's so weird.
I don't even.
I don't know, and it's gonna sound crazy, I think, you know, because I know a lot of people love my mom.
But I feel like.
Like I got the answers that I needed, Like not like I don't love her, because I love her very much, and there's times when I miss her so much, but I don't cry the way I used to.
I feel like we're good.
She was my mom, she was meant to be my mom in this in this lifetime to teach me certain things, so I can teach her certain things. And she's moved on and she's doing something else, and I'm okay to start doing me my life, live my life the way I want to live it in every aspect and my personal life and my career with my siblings. And even since then, like I've in a way kind of let go of my siblings as well, like I'm like, okay.
They're grown.
I love them very much, but I have to let them live and learn and be here for them. But now it's me and my husband. It's my husband and I and I didn't feel that. I always felt like my what I'm supposed to be doing in this world is always honoring my mom and her legacy and what she left for me and my siblings. And I just felt like this need and this desire and this fire within me to just do anything and everything for them,
and that's what my purpose was in life. And when I did that and I went to go see her, and I got this like let go, that's all I heard, I was like, oh shit, Like I have my own life to live, like I have a different purpose. I don't necessarily need to just do that or be that. I can build and it's okay, and I and I
let go. And it's crazy because I think like I had this this idea of, you know, there were times where I was angry at her, I guess, you know, because of everything that happened, and I had this idea of, like, shit, that's what she left me. But now I'm like, no, that's just a little part. You know. Yes that happened, Yes we weren't on talking terms, but that doesn't determine all of our relationship, you know, And.
And that's it. I'm going to leave that in my past and I'm good.
And then after that, after we went to see my mom and I got like her blessing of like letting go.
And my idea of what I got out of that.
Then I went to visit my dad and I got his blessing, and I feel like, without even knowing or planning it, everything just fell into place. And I was ready to get married, like to step into this new era of my life. And I'm glad we did it. And it was very healing, and I think my brother Mikey's doing a lot better. My sister Jackie had that
was her second time going, Jenica's first. I feel like ever since we went there, we got a lot of clarity and a lot of direction, and I don't know it just it did something for us and it was just I guess that that missing piece of the puzzle to like just in a way move on. As messed up as that might sound to certain people, but it was just this beautiful gift that like we got, or at least I did, And I think we all felt different things, but we had that in common of like, Okay,
that's our mom, we love her, but she's happy. Also moved on is what I felt like, She's she's happy, she's.
Good wherever she is.
There was so much peace, guys, Like I can't even explain, Like just thinking of what I felt in that moment makes me want to cry because I was like, shit, she's good. And I think that's what I needed to feel to just say, Okay, cool, she's good. I need to be okay and not thinking I need to be okay for my siblings or for anyone else, but I need to be okay for me, for Jane, for my life, to have kids, to like just live a different life. And I just I don't know a lot of people
ask me like what did you feel? Like what did you guys think? And that's why I wanted to talk about it on an episode of Cheeky's and Chill because this is my space to open up and express things to you. So I thank you guys for allowing me to do that. And I don't know, I just I highly recommend guys, like, if you feel it in your heart and there's things that you haven't gotten closure if you can, if you feel it in your heart, do
it get closure in one way or another. Because of course I'd love to speak to my mother and see her and like hear the words that I imagine, like for her to in a way even apologize to me, because a lot of things went down in a messed up way, but I feel in her way she did apologize to me, is what I felt. And again I can't explain it. It's just something that happened, spiritual, I don't know, but it really has helped me just.
Move on with my life.
It was really nice to see a place that I for so long that was just this ugly dark place, place that tormented my life, not only mine, my famili's people that loved my mother. I just saw that place as something just so dark and just I don't know, and especially because I saw pictures and footage that people that were there, like police officers and you know, authorities and stuff that weren't necessarily supposed to do that, but
they they shared and I'm assuming sould the footage. And I just never thought I would want to go there because I saw some pretty graphic pictures remains of not only my mom, but like people that were on the plane with her and her dress. And I actually there was this this picture that I'll never forget of my mom's dress, her Mariacci dress that she was wearing the
night of that her last concert in Monterrey. There it was just like hanging on a tree, and that tree is still there, and that tree, I guess with the plane like with one of the wings cut off like the top of it. So my mom's dress, I guess flew on top of the on top of the tree and it was like this humongous tree before now it is now it's what it was before. But They're like, that's the tree where the dress was. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's crazy because I didn't ask. No
one asked the guide. He's like, oh, that's the tree where the dress was. A pink dress, and I'm like Oh my gosh, I'll never forget that picture, that image, because I just I was thinking in that moment, guys, I was like, well, maybe someone placed it there. Maybe I wanted to think my mom hadn't died. I wanted to think that someone had taken her and they just placed it there to make it seem like I thought so many things. I was like, no, she's still alive.
She's hiding somewhere. And I remember thinking when everything happened that Sunday, because she passed away on a Sunday, or they passed away on a side day. I don't want to just talk about my mom, but like, you know, there's other people there with her. You know, that happened on a Sunday. And I was still I still had hope Monday Tuesday until Wednesday when some idiot posted or they decided they thought it was a great idea to post images and and it was a picture of my
mom's toes and I knew, I freaking knew. I said, this is I massage those feet. I know that's my mom, and that's what I knew. I was like, shit, she's not coming home. I just and that's when I had to break the news to my siblings, and.
It was tough.
That's why I'm just I'm so against people posting or sharing images like that, like when they try to share images of like Kobe, you know, and and Vanessa suit of the shit out of them, good job and she won as she should, like it's not cool, you know, or when you know, Nipsey got shot and killed and someone posted actually unfollowed this girl, which is like what started this beef with her? She talks I'm not gonna mention him her name because it's not even worth it.
But she's this girl that's like a blogger or she just talks shit about people, a lot about me. And it all happened because I unfollowed her because I told her, I said, hey, it's not cool that you're posting this video of him being shot and he's on the Like I was very upset about it. I was like, he has kids, he has his wife, Like I'm sure she's watched it. She doesn't want the whole world to watch her man Lauren like like you know, on the floor, like fighting for his life and it's just not cool.
Like I'm just I don't know, I think about it, and it pisses me off, you know. So anyways, that's a side story. But I did see a lot of images and it's just nice to know that that ugly place turned into something beautiful because it is very beautiful and very peaceful, and it made me feel like my mom's energy was there and she's like telling us, I'm okay because we all felt the same piece, all of us.
The breeze.
It was wonderful, like the breeze, the greenery, butterflies were all over the place. It was just very nice, and there were still pieces of the plane. Like we walked around, there was still like like you know, metal still there. They're like, oh sometimes it just so with the breeze that they come up, and it's just it's crazy.
I don't know.
I can't even believe that this is my life sometimes, guys, I really can't. I'm like, how how did this happen? And it's just it's insane.
And yeah, I.
Mean, I hope it doesn't offend any genuine Rivera fans out there, because of course that's my mom, proud of who she is. But such an ugly event that tormented my life, our life for so long, like turned into beauty like that place I think was they said, you know, nothing grew here for years.
Now it's green. The breeze was beautiful.
It was just amazing, like ashes to beauty, and that's what I saw and that's what I felt. So yeah, if you guys can go out there. It's open to the public. There's like a little it's all over in Monterrey. Like you can just have to ask anywhere at an olkso at a gas station and tell them I want to go see where Jenny Rivera is or whatever you want to call it, and they'll direct you and they'll take you there. So it's really nice. It's not that much of a hike, it's not too bad, but take water.
So yeah, that's it, guys. I just wanted to express this and you know, answer your guys's questions because I was getting a lot of them and tell you my experience going to Monterrey and can't really speak for my siblings. A lot of people ask like, what did your siblings feel? Like, I can't really speak for them. Maybe one day we'll have a podcast with all of them and we'll talk a little bit more about it. But I can only speak about what I felt in my experience and how
it changed my life. So thank you guys for listening. I appreciate it. It's always nice to just sit here and talk to the mic, talk to you guys, because it's like therapy for me.
So I thank you guys.
Thank you for listening, for watching, for coming to the podcast, listening to everything that I have to say, because you know, it's always out of love. Think I share. All my thoughts and feelings are to inspire and empower in some way. Okay, So I love you guys, and I'll catch you on the next episode of Cheeky's and Chill a Samayana. This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike wa podcast Network.
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