Do You Need a Break from Social Media?

What Up? What Up? Happy Monday? Thank you so much for listening into this episode of chick Ease and Chill. I'm your host, Cheeks, and today We're going to be talking about something we all use just about every day, social media. We spend hours and hours online and sometimes we need a break. So today I'm going to be talking about how and when I do that. So stay

to own. This is cheek Ease and Chill. Whether you're on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok, these platforms consume so much of your day, and I think now more than ever, you guys, I have been a victim of it, especially TikTok. TikTok takes a long long time. It takes a lot of energy, a lot of mental space, and obviously during the pandemic, like a lot of people, I was doing a lot of TikTok because I had a lot of time and I had a lot of fun doing it.

And I love going on TikTok, especially when I want to laugh and I want to like look up the recipe and everything. But I've kind of stayed away from TikTok for a little bit. I haven't posted a lot because I'm busy with other things. I had to finish my album and the tour and everything. So talking about breaks in, I took a big break. I don't know. It must have been like almost three months. It was right before my second album and what has dropped. I was going through a lot, a lot of changes. I

had just moved into my new home. UM, I was on tour a lot during that time, and I just felt like I was drinking too much, like drinking alcohol to like numb myself what it is that I was spelling. I was missing my mom. It was just a lot, and I felt like social media put this unnecessary stress and pressure on me. So I took a break and

it helped so much. I was able to just focus and zone in on finishing my album, on cleansing myself, not drinking, focusing on my house because I had just bought the house and I wanted to make changes and I wanted to furnish it. So it just really helped me. During that time is when Omi and I had our you know, break as well, and I had lost a few friends during that time, so I just really needed the time to do it. And I felt like social media,

which is kind of sometimes bring me sadness. And I've spoken to a few people and there are studies that say that social media can bring you anxiety and depression because you're scrolling and you're looking at these people's lives. You know, a lot of them, a lot of influencers. They get paid to go on vacation to post certain clothing and certain bags, and they rent a lot of these things, and a lot of these cars and homes and yachts that you see on social media. They're all

a facade. Not all, most of them are a facade. And it's just a bunch of people. And I'm not saying everyone, but there's a good chunk of people that just pretend to have these lavish lives and us the people that are watching sometimes and even like perfect relationships.

And I want to say that I was probably one of those people that I posted my relationship so much before, and I knew what I was going through and what I was feeling, but I felt like, well, I have to share this because this is my partner, this is my husband, and I have to share this part of my life. And people are like, oh, I want that. I want what they have, you know, and it creates like subconsciously like anxiety, and they're just like, why don't I have what they have? Why does that person look

like that? Why don't I look like that person? And I wish I had that car, and I want that house and I want to dress like her, And it's just constantly in the back of your mind, like you just start thinking all these things. So that's why I from time to time internally and in my life and my personal life, I take breaks. Sometimes I take just the weekend and I won't post anything. The people that follow me know that, you guys know that I will tell you guys, Hey, I wasn't feeling good. I needed

to stay away. I needed to regroup. I needed tomente, you know, which means just really just be with myself. I love social media because I get to express and share things with you guys on a different level. And I have that direct contact with my followers. And I love speaking to you guys, and I have my dams open, and you know what I mean, Like, I love hearing from you guys. But sometimes it could be a very toxic place, you guys, social media could be toxic. It

all depends on what you follow, who you follow. For me, I follow about three thousand nineteen people I just checked. Some people think that that's too much. I should like follow less, but I follow a lot of my boss piece, a lot of people that send me love, and a lot of my fan pages. So I'm super grateful for that that. I think that's the majority of people that I follow. I also follow a lot of accounts of

positive quotes. I love quotes, you guys know. I like to write them, I like to read them, I like to share them. I follow business pages, entrepreneur pages, like a lot of women quotes. I follow some preachers. For me, it's like, that's why it's important that people that you follow, that they feed your soul, that they feed you something good. There are some people that I follow that I don't follow because they've never done anything bad to me, but

I mute them. I'm not gonna lie. There are some people that are mute because sometimes it's just like, oh, girl or boy, I just can't you know, and I don't want to follow you because you haven't done anything mean to me. Like it's not that I don't like you, it's just sometimes your energy is just too much for me, so I mute them. That's good to you, guys. A

muting and muting and sometimes blocking. I block a lot of like haters because I'm like, you're not gonna come and try to like contaminate my space with your negativity, so I'll block those motherfucker's And yeah, I unfollow people if I need to, like for sure, when I'm like, I really don't care and I need you to know that you're not on my Good Girl list of this year her good boy list, and I'll unfollow just to

let it be known. I think it is important. I think it's definitely important to be mindful of the accounts that we follow, and that's why I do my best. I'm a little crazy sometimes on Instagram. You guys like, yes, I show my booty here and there. Yes I'm sexy, but I do it more like on that Lizzo trip, because Lizzo is so empowering. She is a plus size woman who does not care, and for me, that's inspirational. I follow her and test holiday because I'm like, they're beautiful,

big women and they make me feel sexy. And that's why I share that part, not to be like, oh my god, I'm trying to show my ass. But you know what, sadly, I've noticed now more than ever, you guys, the more skin you show, the more ass you show, the more tips you show, the more fucking likes and views you get. Then you share something positive like a quote or I don't know, you go and like feed

the homeless. There's something positive, something good, and it doesn't get as many views and as many likes, And you know what, let's not focus on that anymore, because first of all, the algorithm is all crazy. But people just aren't liking anymore. And that's okay, Like, don't focus on the numbers, on the amount of likes that you get. Are the views, but the truth is the truth, you know,

That's what's happening. And I've noticed that even on my own account, I'm like, oh my god, when I post this or I'm being you know a little bit like you know, wratchet Jenney, I get a lot of likes and I get a lot of views, and I'm like, okay, cool. I just wish that we would get the same amount of love on these positive things, you know, were like when I'm cooking or something, you know. Getting back to taking the break. So when I took my long break

back in, I deleted Instagram completely. All my social media platforms, I deleted them completely from my phone. When I take the mini breaks, I have trained my mind to really challenge myself because for a long time, I was getting to the point where I was just bored or I wasn't even thinking, and my finger would go directly to Instagram because for me, that's staff that I use the most. I used to use Twitter a lot, like a lot back in, and I still love Twitter, but the one

that I used the most is Instagram. And I was finding myself just like out of nowhere going to my Instagram and I was like, I just got out of the app and I just started scrolling and I'm just like why am I doing this? It just became like this crazy ass vicious cycle and habit that I just started telling myself, like mentally challenging myself and be like, don't go like I had to remind myself over and over and now to the point where I don't spend a lot of screen time because I like to just

post and get out. I'll go in real quick on the post that I just posted, and like comming back to people. I love to do that, and then I just get out because I try not to get myself too involved in looking at what's going on unless I'm like really not busy, and I'll take a little bit

of time. But I try my best not to be on social media unnecessarily because I don't want to lose that love and that passion and what social media is really for, it's to share and for me, I feel like my responsibility is to be a positive force in the world and share quotes and share things and share my thoughts and share the real side of me. So I don't want to lose that, because for a while I did, I was just like it became just more of a I have to do it versus something that

gave me pleasure. So now if I do want to take a little break, I'll just move my app into like one of those like the group apps where you put like a bunch of them in there, and then

it's harder for me to get too. So I'll sometimes do that, like if I'm on vacation, or when the media and I went to Yosemite, I put my phone completely away, and I was like, I'm just gonna put it away because I don't even want my little fingers, because they have a mind of their own, to go to these apps and start looking, and you know, sometimes I could be in a great mood and then I see something negative that someone who said, you know, about me.

I just recently stopped following a lot of these accounts, like you know, the cheese myt pages or like even big shows that are on television that have Instagrams, I stopped following them because sometimes I would come across things that they would say about me, and it would sometimes just put me in a weird mood, you know. So I was like, I'm not trying to be me and I'm grateful, you know, with these people, because the media does help your career, but it can also affect it.

So I was just like for my mental health and my mind and my spirit, I'm just going to unfollow them. So I did that. Anything that I say on my feed, I wanted to be something that's either going to make me laugh or make me feel good or inspire me. And usually when I take my breaks, a lot of people ask me if I'm the one that runs my social media. You guys know my assistant, Oh me, I

have management, I have a record label. There are some artists that just completely leave their social media to their team. I'm not that person. I have my passwords, I like to go in there. I like to post is very rare. If I have Omi post or even on my Facebook, I will have them put management posted it. But usually, and I want to say, nine percent of the time, it is me, I'm the one responding. And when I'm

taking my break, I am very real about it. And even Omi will sometimes help me with my god mornings and she'll ask me, do you want me to post something for you haven't posted anything, And I'm like no, Like, if I'm taking my break, I'm just like I'm gonna take my break and I'm gonna be real about it, Like I'm not trying to pretend that I'm on social media and when I'm not, like, I'm super transparent and honest with you guys about that stuff because that's all

I know how to be. So, yes, the person that's responding to you, the person that's commenting the post and that's posting is me, you guys, I don't know, that's just me. Call it controlling, call it whatever you want. But and I think when I took my long break in ten, I did have a little bit of fomo. I did. I was kind of like, what's going on in the world, and you know, my siblings would talk about certain things and they would post each other and you know, and I kind of feel like left out.

But I was like, well, this is something that I need. I'm gonna respect my body and what my body is asking my my mind, and I'm going to take this break. I'm going to honor it. But I did have a tiny bit of fomo. You know, I'm not gonna lie. And then when I came back, it was a little hard. When I've taken those breaks, it's a little hard, you guys, to come back because you're you kind of like you get into like a motion of things in a routine kind of then you, you know, come back and you're like,

oh my god, how do I do this again? It's kind of like learning how to ride a bike. And that's kind of how I felt. And for me, it's important because I have my makeup line, I have my skincare line, I work like my my work is social media, you know a lot of it. Sometimes I got to talk to my business partners and be like, you know, they respect it, they understand. But it is a real tough But I'm telling you, guys, I came across this quote. This isn't my motorational quote, by the way, but I

came across it when I was looking for things. It says, when your mental health is bad, give yourself a break. Don't make yourself feel guilty for things you can't do. Don't feel bad about eating, bad about not doing as much as you normally would. You're human. It's okay to struggle. Look after yourself and your mind. It's important and I

think a lot of us are so. And I say us because I have also been caught and sometimes I find myself being caught in it where it's I'm not living in the moment and we're chasing our goals and we're chasing tomorrow and the future, and we get stuck in the rat race of life that we are not living in the moment. If your body and your mind is asking you in this moment, you know what, I'm not feeling good. I feel a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression. Try to pinpoint where that's coming from.

And I will guarantee that a little bit of it has to do with us being consumed with our phones and social media and see other people's things and not being able to separate their life from your own. I guarantee you that it has a little bit to do with it, if not a lot to do with it. So it's important to respect that and your mental health and accept it. First of all, accept it, which means is okay, I'm feeling this. It's okay to feel this. Doesn't make me a weak person. Let me do what

I gotta do to fix it. Right now, you know what I mean to feel better. So I wanted to share that with you guys, because I think a lot of us just want to pretend, pretend that we're okay. And here's another one. I came across this other quote that I want to share with you guys as well. It says I saw a post that said I wasn't myself for months and nobody noticed. I felt that, you guys. I also felt that because that's what the quote says.

But I also felt it because there were a lot of times, especially when I was in certain relationships, that I was just going through it. I was kind of forced to smile because I felt like that's what I needed to do, that's what people expected from me. And that's when I learned. I was like, no, I have to be a PC real like, if I don't feel like posting, if I don't feel like sharing something, if I if I even feel like sharing, hey guys, i'm going through this, I'm going to do that because there's

nothing more beautiful than being vulnerable and being honest. There's a lot of strength in that. So I feel like a lot of people now more than ever, pretend they're living in this like imaginary like world. And that's cool if it works for you, you know what I mean. But I just don't want to be stuck in that, and I want the people. If you feel anxiety, or you feel anything any type of negative way when you go on social media. Just know that. I mean, I swear to you of the things that you see on

Instagram are not real on social media. Like that's all I have to say. Just know that don't feel the pressure and that social pressure of looking a certain way because of you know, certain people, certain celebrities like, don't feel that pressure. Like you have to honor yourself and honor who you are and what you bring to this world. I don't know. I can't say that enough because I think more than ever now it's happening, and that's why there's so much depression, you guys, because of the social

pressure that we all feel, you know. But anyways, I wanted to share those with you guys, and hopefully they helped a little bit. I've had friends that instead of taking a break, they just delete their social media's completely and they just never come back. Emilia is one that says like he and that's I think one of the things that I like about him. He's not all that into social media, Like he rarely goes on there. He doesn't post too much, and I like that, you know.

I feel like he brings balance into my life in that aspect, and he's learned to understand because At first, it was a little difficult because I was on my phone quite a bit because I work on my phone. I answer emails, I'm texting, I'm sending voice ones all day, and then social media, I have to do posts and stuff like that. And at first it was kind of like he's something he had to get used to, and

we talked about it. Now he understands it, and now I'm also mindful of like if I'm hanging out with him, I'm not on my phone as much, or I do everything. I have to do all my work before I hang out with him because out of respect. But some of our friends have completely deleted social media. I mean, I can't do that. I don't know if I would do that either, because I feel like even if I wasn't an artist, or maybe, to be honest, if I was

an artist, maybe I wouldn't have social media. Maybe I'd be like this hippie lost like in the world somewhere and like with the taco shop because I love to like cook and I wouldn't have social media, and I would just listen to music all day and just chill and surf. That's just if I wasn't an artist. But since I'm an artist, and I feel like I have this platform and God has me here for a reason. I don't think I would ever delete my social media unless I was absolutely forced to. But I feel like

that's my mission helping. If it's not with music, it's with my skincare, with my books, with my quotes. I feel like I have to use my voice and my testimony to help inspire and empower people. And I really truly feel that. So I don't know if I would ever erase my social media. For sure, take breaks because I need them. We all need them. But I don't

know about erasing it. But to each his own dack in, you know, I love it because Emilio post like once every blue moon, and I don't know, I think it's cool. So with that being said, guys, I hope you all consider taking breaks from social media and living life in real life, not just online. Today's motivational quote is sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone to experience, appreciate, and love yourself. There's nothing

wrong with breaks, you guys. We all need them to regroup, to connect, to center ourselves, to connect with our higher, authentic selves. So that's my personal advice to you because I've done it and it's helped. So anyways, you guys, thank you so much. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Cheeks and Chill. One quick thing before we go, I want to let you guys know there's a brand new way for us to keep in touch. You can now leave me a voice memo directly through

the I Heart Radio app. Just click the microphone at the top of the Cheeks and Chill podcast homepage within the I Heart Radio app, and if you don't already have the app, you can download it for free. Your questions and comments could be featured in a future episode, so feel free to let me know what's on your mind. I hope that you guys have a wonderful, fabulous week. I will see you next week Monday. Here Chickens and Chills AMO. This is a production of I Heart Radio

and mil podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael Podcasts and follow me Cheeky That's c h i q U I s. For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H