Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave your question. At the sound of the beep.
High Cheeky is this is Destiny.
So my question for you is what are your thoughts on ultimatums. I'm currently obsessed with the show on Netflix, and I see so much self discovery when an ultimatum is given. Based on the show. I've been with my boyfriend for five years now and we just welcomed a beautiful baby girl in December, which, by the way, her name is Eleana Janney. Her middle name was very much inspired by you. I love you so much. But yeah,
what are your thoughts on ultimatums? You know my boyfriend's mindset is, well, we have a baby, we have joint accounts, we've been living together for so long, you know why put that on a piece of paper, like we've practically are married.
And for me, it's more of like, I want the proposal.
I want the cute little ceremony and you know, my family being a part of it. I didn't have a kincinera, I didn't have a graduation party.
I feel like I deserve a wedding.
I deserve a really beautiful proposal, and I love him so much. He treats me well. You know, we're in a great relationship. We respect each other. I just don't know if he's afraid, if it's a commitment issue.
I don't know. What do you think?
What are your thoughts on possibly giving him an ultimatum or ultimatums in general?
Destiny first. So I love your question, and thank you for naming your daughter after me. Love that for us. Thank you A big kiss to Leana and to yourself, Lenna Janey. Okay, so ultimatums. I think ultimatums are totally fine. That is respecting boundaries, your boundaries. I get what your boyfriend is saying. Because yeah, I mean, you guys have been together for a long time, you have a beautiful blessing, and you have joint account, so that shows already some
type of commitment. A lot of men don't even do that, Okay, so that I get what he's saying. For him, it's kind of like, well, we're already here. Where are we did all of this? Like what's the purpose? The purpose is that you want it, and you absolutely one hundred percent deserve that. Now, if you don't want to lose him, I would be a little careful with how you word your ultimatum. I do think that it's okay for you
to say, hey, I would love to get married. I and all the reasons that you just stated are completely valid. You never had your kinsigneta, et cetera, et cetera. Like you want a party, you want to feel like a princess for a day, You absolutely we all deserve that's what you want, absolutely, especially if you gave him a child like look, I gave you a gift, the biggest gift of your life, this beautiful jinney. Doesn't have to be a big ring, it doesn't have to be this
huge thing. I just I want that. I want the dress. I want to give our relationship that blessing in our child. Maybe give it to him that way. Maybe you guys can even do like a couple's therapy session together and explain this with someone mediating, because sometimes when it's coming from us, we don't deliver our message correctly or they don't even listen to us because it's coming from us.
But if someone else is mediating, like a therapist a counselor, and you express this and they're able to express it to him in a different way, then maybe it'll sink in. But I have no issue with ultimatoes. I feel like we are here to enjoy our lives to the best way that we can. And if that's what you want, then you should get that. And you have to give yourself your place in order for other people to respect it, especially your partner. And you don't have to be mean
about it. It's just say, hey, I want this within the next two years. Please really think about it. If not, then you're also going to have to make a decision destiny, you know, if that's really what you want. So I hope everything works out. And again, thank you so much. You are so sweet. I love you. Okay, so our next question comes from Velva Hi Cheeky's.
I just want to let you know first off that I'm a huge fan of yours. Everything that you do, your books, your music, your podcasts. I think you are an amazing representation for Latina's and so just kudos to you for doing the damn thing. I'm reaching out to you for advice because I am an aspiring drag performer. I want to break you out into the local drag scene here in my town, and it's something I've been talking about for months and I finally have the opportunity.
A local queen reached out to me and said they want to book me for their show. And now that it's becoming real, I am absolutely terrified, and I think like my confidence is shaken all of a sudden, and I'm doubting if I could really do it. So I guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice for I guess just not doubting myself or anybody that's trying something different. How do we find the confidence to push through and do it? Anyway, Thank you for your time.
Velva, Thank you so much. That is so sweet.
Thank you.
We're on the right track. Guys. It makes me so happy. Okay, look, I think you just need to do it. Okay, it's okay to be nervous. You have to just face fear in the face and say, I'm not gonna let you keep me from something you've been dreaming about for so long. Like, now that it's here, I get it. I always call it the enemy. I call it like the dark vibes, the dark energy that wants to come in and stop
you from reaching your goals. I always feel like when you're about to do something great, you get like tested in some way. You know, it's like that dark energy that comes and wants to switch your mind. And of course, because you're gonna be performing, your confidence because you need confidence to go out there and do this. But the cool thing about drag is that you have an alter ego and that's what helps me. There's Jinney and then
there's Cheeky's. I put on my extensions, I go on stage and I'm just like, okay, now it's time to turn on the bad bitch. Of course, you're going to have like your drag name and everything, so it's like putting on a costume and just saying I'm going out there, I could be a completely different person and Velva can still be Velva and do her thing and be more chill, and then my drag queen can just be out there and do the damn thing. So I think you just
need to do it. And maybe the first one you are, I don't know, your ladies are going to be shaking. Might not be perfect, but it's okay. That's how you learn, that's how you grow. Like you have to be okay with saying okay, maybe the first time wasn't perfect. When I went on stage, you think it was perfect. No, Now that I look back, I'm like, damn, I love to know how far I've come. That's growth. Like I love to show people that I could do it, so I know you could do it. Just keep all of
that in mind. I think you just need to do it, girl, Just do it. That's so exciting. I'm so excited for you. And it's okay. It's okay if you're feeling a little nervous, if you're like shaking in your boots, that is all normal and part of the process and part of this journey, especially right before going on stage where you're going to feel like you want to throw up, but it's all good once you get up there. I don't know what happens, but then the lights are on and the music and
you're just you'll see it's in you. You're going to be just fine, So just do it. Okay. So our next question comes from Stephanie.
Hi Chiki's I hope you are having a wonderful day today. I first want to start off by saying, thank you so much for having this podcast and allowing us to be able to ask you questions and you respond to us. We know that we love to get advice from the people who we truly love, adore, and admire, and girl, we love you so much, so thank you so so much for that. Also, I think you're so so beautiful, and I just wanted you to know that I love you and your family so much. Okay, my question is
I am a very shy person. I always complain about being alone and not having someone, but then when guys come my way, I'm so shy and I don't respond or I don't go forward with it.
I don't know why I'm just so shy. So my question is how can I stop being so shy and how can I put myself out there and actually date because it's so hard for me. I don't know why, I'm just so shy. Thank you so much, girl, I love you.
You guys are gonna make me cry today. Thank you so much, Stephanie. Oh my god, you guys are the sweetest. I love you guys, and I love that you guys are loving my podcast and just taking the time to leave your questions like you guys have no idea how much it makes me happy. Okay, So Stephanie, I get it. I think that's cute that you're shy, and a lot of guys like that. Okay, I think like a lot of guys like shyness. You could be shy but be confident, like just say I know who I am, I know
what I bring to the table. You don't have to say it, but like you just give off that energy because you should know that, like, yeah, I'm shy, I'm cute, I'm a little quiet, but I'm confident in who I am. That is very different from being shy. So if you're shy, it's okay. I think that you just need to take the risk. If you you want a partner, if you want a companion, then you need to respond. Girl, you're asking the universe for this. They're delivering. God is delivering.
Your angels are delivering. The universe is delivering. So you just have to move forward and just say, hey, like you have to just take the risk, even if you are shitting your pants, okay, like you have to go on the date. You have to respond. They had the
g like, let yourself be loved. Don't block yourself from that, because if you keep doing it and not responding or not going on these dates or really trying this, then the universe is going to think that you, Okay, she's not ready, so let me just not send her anyone. So do it, shy, go on these dates. Even if you're a little quiet, if maybe taking a shot, you know, of tequila makes you feel a little bit better, do that.
There are like stress pills, not stress pills, gummies that I've taken that just ease your stress levels and it helps with anxiety. And you gotta like just do it and be yourself. If you are shy, that is who you are, Like you are going to meet the right person for you and is going to love that shyness. But if you don't try it and you keep blocking it, Like, how how tell me? How is it gonna happen?
Girl?
How? So girl? Go on these dates? Okay, be yourself. Be yourself. That's what always works and should always like. Whoever's gonna end up with you should love you for who you are. So be yourself. That is my biggest and best advice. Okay, okay, So our next question comes from an anonymous listener.
Hey, Cheeky's, how are you girl? Your body is looking amazing. I'm in love with it.
Well, let me keep it short and simple. So I'm struggling financially, but I'm also an emotional spender and it sucks because I stress and I want to spend even if cinema stamnbolata, and then I feel guilty for spending it, and I don't know how to control myself.
Any tips?
Okay, thank you for your question, anonymous listener. When you guys can and let's it's like a really secret question that you guys don't want people to know that it's you guys, leave your name because I would love to call you by your name, you know. But okay, but in regards to your question, I get that. I get it because I was like that for a very long time, so I understand. I think that you have to be
very adamant about saving. I always tell you guys this, like for a rainy day, you never know what will happen, even if it's five dollars in your savings account where you're absolutely I cannot touch it. I promise myself, I promise God that I'm not going to touch this, no matter how much I want this purse, whatever it may be. I think that it's important for us to really be good stewards of our money, not be cheap, not be
go goos, but be good stewards. What does that mean? Like, Okay, when God is blessing us with a job, with you know, our finances, like our money, we should be able to take care of that because it comes and it goes. So that's what you have to kind of switch your mindset. And that's what I did, where I was like, Okay, right now, things are going great and I'm very grateful for and I can buy it, you know, this thing
that I don't necessarily need. But what if tomorrow I can't, Let me not buy this thing that I really don't need, and let me just save that money just in case, because what if something happens that I really need the money. I like to live in the present absolutely and enjoy my life right now. A lot of people say, I know, I'm not gonna take the money when I leave, like leave the earth is what I mean. But we also
have to be responsible. I know it's hard, I know it's it's it's difficult, but then it's I don't know, you just gotta just hold it and just say, you know what, I'm not going to I'm doing this for my future self. I'm doing this and I'm saving this one dollar for my future self because you know what, I don't really need this. So it's gonna take time, Okay. It's giving yourself therapy and asking yourself questions and going to the store and saying do I really need this?
Come on, is this a luxury or is this a necessity? Ask yourself that. Okay. So I hope that helped. So with that being said, to Destiny, Velva, Stephanie, and my lovely anonymous listener, thank you guys so much for your questions. I very very much enjoyed them, and thank you guys so much for your support and for trusting me with your issues. Okay, at Tolos. I created Dear Cheeky's as a way to connect with you guys on a personal level, and I really look forward to hearing from you every week.
You can leave me your questions at speakpipe dot com, Slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts. I would love to hear from all of you, Okay, let's kiro mucho. This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microudura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.