Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to start a business. What are the cases I want to hear from you?
Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave your question at the sound of.
The beat, Hey, Cheeky's, how are you? I just recently found out that my relationship of five years that my boyfriend cheated on me.
It's been a roller.
Coaster of emotions, up and down, lots of feelings. He has been begging and begging, saying that he's sorry, he made a mistake, and you know, was willing to take couple's therapy. He's willing to do whatever it takes for us to make it work. We have built so much together and had so much future plans. Would you recommend I know you are really big on couple's therapy. Do you think that would help? Your advice would be very helpful. I don't have an older sister, so this is why I'm coming to you.
Thank you so much, my heart anonymous listener, my wonderful anonymous listener. Oh okay, So, as a big sister, what would I tell my little sister? Oh, cheating personally is just ugly, and I'm sorry that you're going through that. I'm so sorry. I could just I can't even imagine. I mean I could because I've been there. That feeling just sucks so bad. So I'm sending you a big, big, loving hug because again, I know the pain you're going through.
I do think that forgiving someone is important, especially if he realizes and recognizes that he did wrong. It's five years and you guys have built a lot together. What would I do? Oh, my gosh, God forbid, God forbid that I'm ever in that situation, because oh, I don't know. But okay, I do believe in couple's therapy. I do believe that certain situations happen for us to learn to grow, to maybe even sometimes get closer to our partner. It
strengthens the relationship. My heart is telling you to go ahead and give it another shot on your terms, go to couple's therapy. If he's willing to do it. I don't know the details. I don't know if it was a one time thing, if it was a relationship. All of that matters to me to be able to give you the best advice. But I feel if he's willing and he recognizes and he accepts that he was wrong, and he's willing to do anything and everything to make you happy, go with what you feel. If you love
this person, give it another shot. If it happens again, then you know you're done, and you're done forever. Try the couple's therapy. Try to figure out why this happened, where it stems from, and you'll figure that out in couple's therapy, and you'll also figure out are we compatible? Is this really going to work? I think you'll feel better giving it that shot versus just walking away, because this can make your relationship stronger and better. It can,
But that's that's I don't know. That's it's tough. It's tough because the strong woman in me is like f that. But then also we also have to be able to just adjust. You know. So I'm hoping that my advice helps, but my heart tells me to tell you to give it a little shot. Give it a shot, and a couple therapy will help you figure out a lot of things about yourself, about him, about your relationship. Well, she knew the best. Okay, guys, Our next question comes from.
Z High Tikis. I can't believe I'm calling, but oh my gosh, I really need your advice. My sister in law just moved in right next door. We rent from their grandma, and I've had an issue with it since the beginning when I knew that she was going to move in because she has alcohol use problems and I have two babies right next store. And there was an incident about a year ago where she picked up my son and she fell with him in his arms and his little face hit the concrete while she was drunk.
And in that moment I was so furious, but couldn't do much because I was pregnant with our second baby. Fast forward, you know years later, you know, things have continued to happen. Nobody's really doing much. Everyone's just kind of turning a blind eye. I keep binding my tongue, but two weeks ago, two weeks into her moving, and she got into a big fight with my mother in law again. She was drunk. My mother in law is very joy vibes, does not fuck around, so you know,
but she's very heartbroken over the situation. And I'm just really tired of all the problems. Does anyone else have problegmatic sister in laws?
Like?
What do we do?
What do you guys do?
What do you suggest? I just can't anymore. It's very frustrating. And she lives right next door to me.
Now, ooh ze, this is tough because what apparently everyone seems like everyone feels the same. You know, your mother in law, damn someone within. It's a disease. Alcoholism is a disease, so she definitely needs help. I think you guys need to have an intervention as a family, as a whole. Let her know how you guys are feeling. Obviously when she's sober. Don't do this while she's drunk.
But you guys need to have a family intervention. Like, dude, you can't continue to do this, and if you continue to live your life this way, then you need to move out. It would be a lot more inconvenient for all of you to get up and move, you know, but I think for sure it's the easiest. The easiest thing would be for her to move out. But I think you guys need to speak to her from the depths of your heart and you're worries and your concerns, all of you everyone, because this can cause a lot
of issues. I mean, you do have children. I mean, God forbids something horrible happens. But I do think the first thing here is having a conversation definitely as a family and letting her know, you know, you need to get your shit together, because if not, then you need to move out and you need help. She needs you. Guys have to help her, give her the option of hey, there's you know AA for instance, that will definitely hopefully
she has to be willing. But you guys need to have this conversation now because it's not fair for you to hold this in and you're unhappy where you live, like that should be the city. You should feel safest where you live. You know, that's your sacred place, So damn for sure, just talk to her. Please keep me updated. I'm hoping that the conversation and everyone telling her how she feels and it's not just one person does something
positive and she doesn't feel attacked. But if you guys say it with life and the concern, maybe it'll reach her heart. I'm hoping, but keep me updated because I do want to know. Hopefully she comes to her senses because it's not a good way to live. Okay, guys, Our last question comes from Elvida.
Hi, Cheeky's hope you're doing good. I recently became a huge fan of your podcast in music, so sorry, I'm a little late to the game. I'm thirty three, the youngest of five siblings. My parents are from Halisco, Mexico,
and had me in their forties. I've raised my two nieces and my nephews since I was about eleven years old, so I'm like a second mom to them, and I've also helped take care of my sister, who has special needs ever since I can remember, so you can imagine I've always been the go to person, which is exhausting. My husband and I have been together from almost five years, with the first two years struggling with him emotionally cheating on me. I thought we overcame that, but earlier this
year I caught him flirting with someone else again. So I struggle with a lot of anxiety, high blood pressure, and a lot of insecurity, especially after gaining almost one hundred pounds. I don't really have any close friends to talk to, and I don't sing or dance anymore, which is what I miss. My question to you is how do you find motivation when everything feels so heavy? Or what advice can you give me as I could pick me up because I've just been feeling so down lately.
Thank you for being an inspiration and I'm sending you all my love.
Elvira, thank you so much. Welcome to the family. We love having you. I'm so happy that you are a new listener, not only to my podcast but to my music. I really appreciate it. My heart hurts. My heart hurts because he deserves so much better. And I think that a lot of this anxiety and what you're feeling is because the closest person to you, your partner, has done this to you. And it's okay. I just told someone
in the same episode forgiveness. I believe in forgiving. I believe that people can change, especially if they're very sorry. You already forgave him and he continues to do it. That tells me he's not going to change, and if he changes, it's not going to be for you, it's going to be for the next person, because he had to lose you in order to realize the man that
he needs to be. And I used to think that I need to stay with this person who's not necessarily treating me the way that I deserve and that I want. But because I've already invested so much time and so much in this relationship, that why am I going to build him up and mold him so that another girl can have him? And I'd stay in these toxic relationships because of that, and because I was comfortable, and that's not a way to live. And I feel, Elvidra, that
you are settling to settle, you're settling for less. And I think, in a way, without you even knowing subconsciously, if you have gained weight, that's what happened to me. I gained so much weight because I was holding onto so much. I was so sad. I was not happy in my relationship. This is the closest person, this is the person that you're intimate with. And when you're not happy and you feel like you're suppressing so many things.
You gain weight. It's a real thing. It's real, and I'm not saying that the answer is to leave him, but something has to change, especially if you lost your motivation to sing and to dance. Those are the things that make you happy and make you feel alive. I just feel like now that I know what it is to be in with someone that God willing it lasts forever.
I don't know. I'm taking it day by day. I'm enjoying it day by day, but I know the difference now of having someone by my side that makes me want to do all the things that make me happy and make me I want to take care of myself first of all, for myself. I had to figure this out being by myself and healing myself before I met Emilia my husband now, but I had to like reconnect
with myself. And I feel like you're disconnected and I feel like you need especially with you being you know, like you said, you've taken care of your nieces and nephews, and you're the youngest, and everyone comes to you like you need to have someone by your side that allows you to just be soft, to be able to just let your guards down. And to be taken care of, especially emotionally whether he's having sex with these girls or
not emotionally, like he's not like he's cheating. He's cheating, and you need to find the strength within yourself to make a change. And if you were my sister, I tell you, I think it's time to let go of that person because he's not valuing you and it's bleeding into everything else in your life. Because we all need that, especially us that we have grown up faster than we should. We had to mature like we had to be responsible
at a young age for other people. We need that more than anyone to have a partner that's gonna let us lean on them and feel safe. And I don't think he's your safe place. And that's what my heart felt. And you don't have to listen to me, but this is my advice. You can take it or leave it. It's my opinion. But I think if you sit down and you're honest with yourself, it's going to be a very hard decision, but it's gonna be something that's going to liberate you, allow you to be who you are
meant to be in this world. Because if he can he's done it you forgave him, he keeps doing it. I don't know if he has it in him to change completely. Something to think about. I'm sorry, Vidraf, that's not what you wanted to hear, but I just need to be honest, and again, thank you for being a listener, and hopefully you can update us all of you everyone. I thank you guys so much for trusting me enough
to ask me questions. And I promise that my advice comes from my heart and it's exactly what I would tell a friend or a sibling. But again, it's just my opinion, but I hope that it helps in one way or another. And if you have a question, you can go ahead and leave your question at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast. I love you guys very much and I will catch you on the next episode of Dear Cheekies. This is a production of iHeartRadio and
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