Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave your question at the sound of the beat.
Hi, Cheekys, love it your podcast. Love how positive you are. I need advice with this situation. So I met this guy on Tinder I've been seeing I've seen him a few times, and I really like him. I think he's great. He's so talkative, he's so funny. He makes me feel awesome when I'm with him. But he does not fit any of the standards that I've set for myself and I guess for my partner. He smokes weed, he's been to jail, he has a criminal background, he does drugs,
he's been an alcoholic. He says that he's a different personnel, that's all in his past. But it's quite concerning to me, and I don't know what to do with this. It's making me question continuing seeing him. What would you do in my situation? I mean, he's completely different from anything that I've wanted in the past, but he makes me feel great. I don't know how to maneuver this. I don't know if I should just cut it off now and avoid getting hurt later or what? Thank you?
H okay?
Is he doing drugs or he did drugs? Because you said he does drugs, so that's concerning. If he does drugs, that's a huge red flag. If that's something you're not down with. If you're not okay with your partner smoking weed, then that's a red flag. You have to ask yourself, you know, am I okay with weed?
Am I not? I have a personal opinion on weed. You know. I smoke cannabis to sleep. I love it. I do it with my.
Partner or on the same page. But if you are not on the same page and it's something you don't want and you don't want in a partner for whatever reason, then that to me is considered a yellow flag, an orange flag, or red flag. It all depends, you know. I do believe people can change. I do believe it. I have seen it. I have changed. I'm a different person. So I don't think it's fair to judge people because
of their past and the mistakes that they've made. I think if they are willing to admit them, and and he has shared this with you, then I think he's on the path of just being himself and being open with you. If he's not lying about it, I think you're fine. I just don't know what kind of drugs he still does or if it's just weed.
I don't know. I wish I had a little bit more clarity on that.
But I do feel if he makes you feel good, and if he's being open and honest with you, then I think that's a good sign personally. If he's hiding things, if you're finding out and he's lying, then that's obviously not good. I think maybe having a conversation with him and just telling him, hey, would you be willing to stop smoking weed if that's a big problem for you?
You know, But I don't know.
I think I need a little bit more information. Can you ask send me another question again, you know through your Cheeky's do the speakpipe dot com, slash Chickius and Chill podcast, send me another one, giving me a little bit more detail so I can give you a better response. But I need to know is he still doing them the drugs? What kind of drugs? Like?
You know what I mean?
Is he responsible? Does he have a good fightcal score? That's a good question. What else can you ask? Is your responsible man with his bills? I mean, does he I need it a little bit more basically anonymous listener because you don't give your name either.
But it's okay.
I hope I was able to help a little bit, but yes, I need a little more clarity.
Okay, I'll be waiting.
Okay, guys, So we're gonna move on to the second question that comes from Garina Garna Karina.
Let's see, Hi, Cheeky's.
I love you since forever you and your family of course your mother. I've always followed you guys, since the reality TV and your mom's music and now yours love you guys, So my question for you is what happens after a podcast? I just finished listening to Yours with Horamos and what happens next, Like, do you guys follow up? Do you send them like a little gift email, what happens after your podcast? Love you hope to hear from you soon, Karina.
I love your question.
It's a great question. It depends with like cork I, you know, like I said in the episode, he had interviewed me before. Ever since that interview, like we'll send dms here and there. Super nice guy, amazing So when he said yes to the podcast, I was just super psyched. I didn't send him a gift, but that's a good idea. Maybe I should start doing that. I definitely do follow up and say thank you, but I haven't sent a gift. I mean I've sent flowers to some guests because for
their birthday and stuff like that. But yeah, I mean I think more than anything, once you have someone sitting in this chair and they give you their time, to me, that's super valuable. So I always try to just check up on them and comment and have a little bit more of like a relationship, even if it's just through social media.
You know.
But that's about it. But thank you for your question, and thank you for the idea too. Maybe I should start sending more gifts after they come on. Okay, guys, ooh, we have another anonymous listener. Let's see what question they have.
Hi Cheeky's Tula Moosa love you girl. So I will remain anonymous for my question. I just wanted to get your opinion on this. I work at a credit union and I'm with an operations department, so I assist all of the branches that the credit union owns in case anybody has any questions. You know, I roll up my sleeves,
I held them out. And I just recently was told by one of my closest quote unquote friends from work that there's other managers at other branches that are trying to spread rumors saying that I'm a gralla and that I'm a snob. And I'm just like, holy shit, that sucks because I'm always the one to drop what I'm doing, and like, I don't even tell them hey did you check this? Did you check that? When they have any questions, I just literally answer questions more of them and I'm like, hey,
I got you. You know, next time, check here or check there, or you can find the answer here. But you know, I help them out and cover the branches I'm at the front line, you know. I do so much to help them out and be there for them as best as I can. So when I found that out, I kind of hurt my feelings. I found out who supposedly this is coming from. But I guess that's my question to use. What will you do if you know it's a cheese man, but you know who it's coming from.
Do you confront the person or do you just let it go? Like I'm usually that person, I'd rather not know. I'll let it go. But what do you think? What would you do in my situation? Thank you so much?
Well, miss anonymous listener, Well, you gotta hate girl, And when someone's hating on you, so because you're doing something right, I it all depends. I'm not a very confrontational person, but I don't mind letting someone know and putting them in their place when I need it. But she's saying that you're a kreiva and I know it all or a snob. That's because she's probably jealous of the position
that you have and how hard working you are. I feel like it's jealousy because if it wasn't, then why would she be saying it behind your back, tell me my face, girl. But if she was saying something deeper, I'd say confront her. Maybe it's just not even worth it. It's just let me do what I'm doing. She's not saying that an I'm lazy or I'm boning someone, or she's just saying that you're a kreta, that you're a snob. Well,
you're doing what you gotta do. You're not there to try to make friends, like, you're there to do your job. And if no one's complaining about your job, then you're doing a great job.
So let it go.
Don't even say hello, kill people with kindness, hi, by you know, cool, be polite and do your job. But I don't think it's worth it to be honest, like, you know, tell her anything, like why give her the attention that she probably wants. Just continue doing you, Mama Sita, When you're doing something right, people be hating, maybe saying stuff they've been They've said that about me so much, that I'm a mamna that this is.
I'm like, dude, you don't even know me. Sit that with me. We're gonna be cool.
But anyways, yeah, don't even girls, don't even let it bother you keep up the good work. Okay, guys. Our last question comes from Yadidrah.
I was in a four year relationship and I had a baby with the dad, and I just don't know how to go about him because it's like four years down the drain, but then like two years of almost having the baby. But it's just like I don't know if I should hold onto the relationship when I already know he wasn't being a father. Yeah, like he's the dad and my kid, but you have to earn that father title because he never once bought him diapers. He never took him to the park, He never wanted to
do anything with his baby. But now that we separated, now he wants to come around and be like I want to see my baby, and all of a sudden he wants to start buying him diapers. But it's like where were.
You then when I really needed you, like his newborn stage, and now he's almost two, and it's just like I'm trying to get over this guy, but it's like really hard, like every day think about him, and it's like I don't want to think about him because he was really bad to me.
He was like verbally abusive, and it's just I keep thinking, like why are you even thinking about him? Or why are you giving him a space in your mind? You know, like just let him go? What advice can you give me to just move on or just be happy with myself? Because it makes it hard every day for me to just keep going. But I know I have to be strong for my baby.
You know the little music in the background, the little lullaby, guys, I love it, okay, yahdi dah. This is tough because you have to be able to separate your relationship with him and the relationship that he has with his child and that he wants to have. Yes, we're upset with him. I'm upset with him, like why didn't you look for the baby when I really needed it.
In you know, the newborn stage.
But sometimes guys don't make that click, like don't even take it personal, like they don't like get it. And I think in the very beginning, not all guys, some guys, you know, and maybe he was just one of those guys that didn't really understand. And now you can't take that from him now that he wants to step in, if he's willing to buy diapers and be there for his son allow it. Don't take that from your child,
and don't take that from him. You have to separate the two now if you're still not over him, your baby and his feelings. The baby's feelings are more important right now than your own, Like, don't do that to your baby, like try to like keep him away from his dad. You just have to work on yourself, you know, in the way of like whatever is going to make you happy, work out, Like do those things that make you feel good and are going to make you look good.
So that when he picks up the baby, you look good, girl, you know what I mean.
Not because we want him back, you know, especially if it was verbally abusive, no, but just so that you feel good, like I want him to see and I'm good. I'm good, even if you're not one hundred percent, Like it's okay to like fake it a little bit, you know, like you are good, and that is also going to help you speed up the healing process, feeling good, taking care of yourself. But you guys know, I'm always the
one to say, go to therapy. Do therapy. Therapy helps so much, babe, And if you can do that to help you get through this hump in the love road. Do so, but separate that. Don't mix the two, you know, especially if he wants to be in the baby's life and hopefully he's helping you financially. Okay, hope that helped. Oh that was our last question.
Guys.
Oh my gosh, that felt really fast. Okay, So guys, I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Thank you to our two anonymous listeners, to Karina and ta Yahida for your questions. And if you have a question, please leave it at speakpipe dot com, slash Chikys and Chill Podcasts.
I'd love to hear from you. I love you guys so much.
Peete. This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Withura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Mike Withdura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h I q U I s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.