Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, now go ahead and leave your question at the sound of the beeB.
Hi, Cheeky's.
My name is Stasia, and I like to start off by saying you're so amazing and a huge inspiration to me. This year, I am getting married on September ninth, and of course I am incredibly excited for my big day. I'm also incredibly sad. My mom has recently passed away in December, and it's so hard for me to imagine getting ready, walking down the aisle, and enjoying my entire
day without her physical presence. I'm hoping you can give me some advice on how I can still enjoy every moment of that day without feeling guilty that she can't be here with me. Thank you so much, Love you, Daisia.
First of all, congratulations, I'm sure you're going to be a beautiful, beautiful bride. Your voice, you have such a pretty voice, by the way, So this is what I did when I got married. We're not going to talk too much about that, but when I got married, once upon a time, I had a chair at the ceremony that had a picture of my mom, and I just it made me feel better that I'm like, Okay, she's there. I see her picture. At the reception, I also had a picture of her. It just makes you feel just
closer to your loved one. It may just made me feel better. So I'm hoping that you can have like a little not necessarily sanctuary, but just somewhere where you can have a picture of her, where you know that she's present, because regardless, she's there with you. And I'm not gonna lie and tell you that it's not gonna be hard, because when you're getting ready and all that stuff,
it's gonna hurt. I definitely cried. I cried so much in the shower that morning, and I let it out and I was like, I'm just gonna let it out, and then I said a prayer, and I'm like, Mom, be with me because I'm gonna need you today and then you feel better and I'm hoping that's your situation as well. But definitely, I think you should cry it out, cry it out before your hair and makeup, and just know that she's with you. And it sounds a low cliche,
but it's the truth. There with us and they're definitely angels and I know she's gonna be there walking you down the aisle as well. So I'm sending you a big hug and hopefully you can send us pictures of you and your wedding dress. I can't wait to see him. Thank you for your question, bim Okay, So our next question comes from Lesdi Hi Cheeky's.
I am reaching out because I haven't very stressed relationship with my mother. I know that I have never been her favorite child. I think her and I have just always butt heads, and so it's been really hard to be around her. She is a very invasive woman, and so it's really hard because she triggers a lot of anger and disappointment. And sadness in me all the time.
So I just want to know if you can help me and give me some tips and tricks, because even staying away from her, she will reach out to send me nasty messages and make me feel bad, and she will just do everything in her power to be invasive of absolutely everything that's going on in my life.
Thank you by ooh.
Okay, this was tough because you know, I know we have to honor our parents, and she's your mother, and you are so blessed to have your other here on earth. I am one that has learned throughout the years and through therapy that it is okay to love people from afar. If she still and continues to reach out to you and sending you nasty messages, that doesn't mean that you have to engage in those messages and make the situation worse.
I think sometimes when you ignore things like that, especially because she's your mom and you know you have to respect her, in my opinion, it's better to just not say anything at all and just kind of ignore them, and they're going to hopefully get tired and stop it eventually. I would suggest having a conversation with her, but it sounds like you've tried. I'm one that loves to write letters because sometimes when I'm in front of the person, I get nervous or I get to emotional, and like
writing a letter to someone. It allows you to express yourself fully without being interrupted, and then they have no choice but to read it and sit on it and hopefully listen to your heart.
You know.
So I think that that would be a great way to speak to her and tell her how she's making you feel. And if it continues, I think it is okay. And it sounds like you have a baby, because I heard a baby in the background. You have to be okay for your family, for your partner, for your life, for your child, if you have a child, and it's sometimes okay to say I'm going to give this relationship
some space. Pray for them from afar, because it's just not fair if someone is trying to drag you into a dark hole that they're in emotionally, even if it is your mom. And I know that sounds some people might not agree with me, and that is okay, but you have to be okay your peace of mind and don't engage and don't be disrespectful, don't go back and forth with her. That's your mom. Respect her and just love her. But you do have to give yourself your place.
Like that's what my heart is telling me to tell you, and it's my best advice. And I hope that it works out for you guys, and the relationship mens eventually. But sometimes people don't know what they have until you know you're not as available. I don't know. It's something you and I both have to pray for because it is your mom. So I really really hope it gets better. But that is my suggestion. I think a nice, long, intimate,
detailed letter will help. I hope it gets better. I'm sending you up big, big, big big hug because I feel it. I am like I'm feeling your emotions right now. Okay, so our next question comes from Lydia.
All the chickies right now. My questions are do I move forward with my wedding planning. I'm literally two months away from my wedding day and I hate commitment. You know, I have two kids from a previous relationship. They are teenagers, though they do get along great with my fiance. I am six years older than him. He does have a child with another woman in Californi Ornia. She's a better
baby Mama. Let sid And right now he's going through a file for a visitation, right since she's not allowing him to see his child just because he's with me, just because he's getting married, just because, And I'm like, do I really want to go through this? You know this is just a beginning.
It stay okay, Well, if you hate commitment, then you probably shouldn't be getting married.
Girl.
I'm just kidding, but I get it, because commitment is scary. I I've been there, and a therapy really helped me understand what marriage is. And only you know if this person is worth it? How does he treat you? Does he love you? He loves your kids? Like? All of those are questions that you need to ask yourself and put it on a balance, right down on a piece of paper, the pros and the cons. You know, the good things about him, the bad things about him, and
you'll see in the list. Okay, well he has more good things. This is worth fighting for, baby Mama. Drama sucks. Been there, done that. It sucks so bad and it is heavy. But does your partner? Does your man make you feel better about it? Does he give you your place. That all changes everything. Like if he's like, hey, I'm going to marry you, you are now my priority, even
before the children. Like that's just even in the Bible it says that it's just kind of like when you get married, that is what's most important, even before your children. So the good thing is that you're there supporting him through this whole like legal situation and trying to get like you know, to see his child more. That that's good. That says a lot about you. But if he's also like putting you to the side, then that's a red
flag to me. But then it's maybe something that you should fight for, you know, sola mene, is this man worth all of this? Bs? You know what I mean? So that's kind of where it kind of like lays and lies.
I mean.
So I don't know, you're two months away and one time, once upon a time again I canceled the wedding a month before. So I'm not saying to do that. I'm just saying, you know, you probably have the place and everything. It's a lot to think about. Bettltu tennis la claves laresposta uzmos Is he worth it? Does he love you the right way does he value you ask yourself those questions. That's important. It goes a long way. All right, thank
you for your question, babe. Okay, so our last question comes from Jessica Hi Chiki's.
First of all, oh my god, myhead. I have the privilege of seeing you in Fresno, and you are freaking amazing. The show was amazing, the atmosphere like, you are one badass bitch. I also got to do the meet and greet and I just love how humble you are, how you really just are not about the talk, you actually walk the walk and that's something that I really appreciate. So with that being said, I have a two part question.
My first question is with the show that you just put on, I know it takes a lot of hours to put it all together, So how do you prepare for that or what goes into play as you're trying to come up with your show? So just curious of you know where you get your ideas from, because yeah, the two hours and a half flew by when I was there because it was just such an amazing show.
So that's part one. Part two is I know you have your team that are with you from your hairstylists, to your manager, you know, everybody and your team, what do you do to show your appreciation to them, especially when you work long hours or you guys travel. I currently manage a team, and I always feel that I'm not doing enough for them, So just wondering, like, how do you show your appreciation to them?
Jessica, You're making me blush. You made me blush. Thank you so much. That is like the best compliment that you can give me is that you went to my show, that you met me, that you are happy and satisfied, mission accomplished one hundred and thousand percent, So thank you for taking the time to go and see my performance. I'm very proud to say that I am definitely involved in everything in the wardrobe and the colors I want
to use in the set list. The set list is the hardest part for me because I think of me as a fan and as a consumer of music and what i'd like to feel and what i'd like to hear if I go to someone's concert, you know, and I want to take you on the emotional roller coaster that I'm on, you know, I want to take you on a high and then bring you down and then make you cry and then make you laugh and then you go home super happy. So it's like, that's what I that's the most important part for me is where
am I going to place this song? And that took me hours and I don't let anyone else get involved until the very end where I'm like, Okay, this is my idea. Then I get my you know, my musical director and my manager. I'm like, okay, what are your suggestions? And I'm also open to hearing suggestions. I'm not like Mente, like it's what I say and what I say goes. I think that's super important. No matter what level you're at or if you're the boss or whatnot. Always listening
to your team is super important. That's going to take you a long way. Like they say, two minds are better than one, you know. So that's one thing that I like to do, and I like to incorporate my team and everything that I do. And talking about my team the second part of your question. I love my team and I treat them as as family and I want them to be happy and I want them to be happy working. So you don't have to necessarily like
do extravagant things to show your appreciation. I think just even saying thank you, like texting them, hey, thank you guys, a great job today. I really like what you did, or you know, show that you're happy with their work before you're gonna like lash out, you know, because sometimes heat and say hey, I don't like this, but it's all again. I always say this you guys. How you deliver your message, of course, but you can also even say, hey, here's a ten dollar gift card. You know, I just
thought about you and I'm so grateful for you. Here something on me. You know, little things like that go a long way, and I think just even stopping and saying here, let me give you a hug. You know, I'm very like that, Like I like to treat my people that are around me like my family and show that I love them and I appreciate them, not a i'm the boss. And here's the thing. Some people get it confused with I'm the boss and you have to do what I say. But no, it's how you leave them.
It's let me show you by example. You know, so to go a hole to learn that, but I got it. So I hope that helps with your team, you know, So thank you for your question. It was so lovely listening to you and to your question. I'm so glad you loved it. What's up? We still have a few more days, guys. Check on Instagram okay to see if I'm gonna be in your city. Okay, guys, So Deja, Leslie, Lydia, and Jessica. I hope you all found my advice really helpful.
I love connecting with you all on Dear Cheeky so, thank you so much for submitting your questions, and you can submit your questions or situations that you need help with at speakpipe dot com. Slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts. This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network.
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