Straight people get to hold hands with the person that they love on the street. If I want to hold my boyfriend's hand on the street, it is almost like an act of revolution. You know. She was like, you know, if you want to be gay, if you want to be with this girl, then you need to move out, and you lose all benefits. As my daughter, black and brown folks are sometimes not allowed to be soft. We're not given the same grace to be tender. What up, y'all?
Welcome to Cheeks and Chill. I'm your host cheek Ease, and I'm here today with a very very special and sexy guest. Okay, you know what, go on, go on and introduce yourself. You check what. I'm so happy to be here with you. It is truly an honor, and you are like Latino royalty. So I'm so excited to hang with you and chat with you. But for those of you who don't know me, my name is Curly Velasquez. I am a writer, active personality. UM. I was kind
of discovered in the kitchen at BuzzFeed. I used to serve their lunches and I worked my way up into creating content for them. Um and you know, we started the Latino vertical called Fedle Like, which has opened the doors for me in so many different ways, which has led me to play myself on the show called Viva on Stars and also comment on a documentary about Walter Medicago on Netflix with me and my boy lad talking
about the impact that he had on the culture. And you know, and now I get to hang with you. We've actually hung out before. I interviewed you a long time ago at BuzzFeed. Yes, several hairstyles ago and several Oh and how are you, babe, how are you? I'm good. I wanted to tell you right now in this moment, In this moment. Leg day at the gym was on Tuesday, So I am sore as hell, but I'm so excited. I wanted to tell you too, because there's so you
know Latina mom. Latina moms are always like they are impressed, but not easily impressed. And I told my mom like, I'm going to hang out with cheeks and she was like, oh my god, like so excited. She loves you and your family. I'm constantly getting like updates on how the family is doing. Um, your sister and Jenica are friends on Insta, Yes, and in Yes, I love her, I love you all fabulous. She's fabulous. But and so my mom is a huge fans shout out if she's probably
gonna be listening. And what's your mama's name? Merna sending you a big old kids mom. Are you close to your mom? Oh? I'm tired with all my family like super tight. We weren't always really tight specifically because like growing up as a young queer kid, a lot of parents in general, but I feel like Lettin parents or Lettino or latin X have you identified, they sometimes will inflict their own generational trauma on their own kids and
without knowing it. So they weren't always necessarily the best parents. But I think that they also weren't the worst. But growing up and being able to look back and be like, damn, you were twenty how old when you had me? Like you were just exactly things have changed and my mom, believe it or not, was very also very traditional. I mean it just I mean they're so young when they have us, you know what I mean. So they're growing up or we're growing up together. You feel me. I'm glad.
I'm glad everything is good with your family. So in today's episode, Curly and I are going to talk about his coming out story and the spectrum of identifying as gay or queer in the Latin X community. I happen to think that people are born gay. I don't know what you would think. I want us to have a very open conversation. I feel that there's usually I talked to I talk about this with a lot of my friends, that there's a gauging either on your mom's side, your
dad's side. But I really feel that that exists. You know what, I actually identify as queer, and a lot more people are identifying more as queer. Queer kind of gives you the space to not just live in this one box of being gay, right like, okay, you'll put below.
I used to hook up with girls when I was younger and boys identified as bisexual for a really long time, and then I started to skew more into boys, and now that I'm older, I don't know that I would necessarily rule it out that I would hook up with the girl. Um. And I also find that I don't really care what somebody's working with between their legs. If you have a cute fade and a nice bicep, I'm down,
you know. So, yeah, I'm so glad you're explaining this because again, this is a topic that is still very taboo in our culture unfortunately. UM, but this is why we're having this conversation, because now that you're saying, I'm glad that I'm that we're talking about it, you know, queer. Now I know what it is. So because my brother Johnny, he's gonna be twenty one, he has had a hard time accepting it. At first he thought he was gay. Then he's like, you know what he told me something else.
I don't remember what it was called. But he's like, I just it doesn't matter. Like you just said, if you have a penister of vagina, if I'm connected to your soul, then I want to be with you. There's sabeo sexual, there's a lot of different things. I think queerness. By the way, I sent your brother a message, I was like, if you need to talk, if you just
need a friend, like anything, anything, anything. He probably didn't see it in the d M s or he probably was like I don't know him, but I was like, if you ever need to talk, right, because like there's no right way and there's no wrong way, like to be who you are. So for me, it's like, I do believe that people are born a certain type of way right and they can uh. I believe that as well. But I think of queerness and I think of sexuality and gender as a spectrum. Look, I think people can
be born this way. I think I was born this way. I came out really young, even as a little kid, I didn't really know how to hide it. I didn't know what I identified as um. But I think everybody, everybody, if they left themselves, if they really were like you know what, like I funk with this person so much like we could have a relationship. I might not want to fuck you, I might not want to have sex with you, but do you want to be like a life partner of mine? Do you want to be like
with me? And it could be like best friends. It can look so many like so many different ways. I have a question, Curly, and I feel like you are the person I can ask this like too, and You're not gonna get offended or anything. Because I've always wondered the word fag. How do you think about honestly? I just god, dude, I think I mean I was, like, you know, I want to ask curly because there's certain people that are like, don't call me that, Like, you
know what I mean. I get that, I mean I would never, but you know what I mean, Like, what do you feel about the word fact? Again, it's a nuanced conversation, right, Like it's very it's interesting on one side. Can we use it to be empowering? Like me personally? Um, I heard Margaret Chow said Margaret Show years ago said I love the word faggot because it describes my kind of guy, like my kind of person. And I remember growing up and being like, oh my god, I love
that too. On the flip my favorite area so I've ever existed, perhaps maybe my favorite human. My Angelo would consistently quoth the Bible and say, like in the beginning there was the word, and the word was God, and the word was with God. And she would say there is power that you can measure in words. So when you use words like fag and fag, it like you have to really understand the type of energy that you are really birthing through the divinity within you, right, so
like there was power in your words. So, um, personally like me, I mean, but to other people like who are who are still being killed across the world, who still don't have laws, who still can't get married, no laws of protection, who are literally being murdered globally. Those words and maybe the use of them there, you know, you should be mindful of that, that you are kind of essentially perpetuating a word that is rooted in hate
and rooted in bigotry. Right, Okay, perfect. I needed to ask that because again, I want everyone that's listening to understand I'm a huge advocate for the LBG community, um Q community, you know. So I'm just like, I wanted to to have this conversation with someone like you, especially with coming out, and I just saw this post yesterday. How or what do you do when someone comes to you and comes out? What are the actions? You give them a hug if you have no words, you know
what I mean? So when you came out, how was that? How old were you when you came out? Um? I was very young. I was the first time I ever vocalized it to anybody. I was eleven, and then by the time I came out to my family, I was like twelve thirteen. But that's kind of a weird. I just shared this story with like Hulu uh and attention. And it's kind of a story because it was kind of the beginning of the Internet craze where a O well was popping off and chat rooms and being able
to search for things that you didn't have access to before. Right, So I got caught because I was looking at dicks on the Internet and I didn't know. Nobody told me this that there was a thing called your Internet search history, right, I guess. And so when my parents went in, they were like, what the fund are you looking at? And I was like, what do you mean? And they were like, well, are you gay? Like what are you? And it was
a whole big thing. It was a lot more dramatic than that, of course, right, Like I was crying and my dad I thought, you know, my dad was My dad was a marine. He we grew up kind of an abusive household. Like my dad is very MUCHO like the type to be like I'm ana build that. I don't need it, I don't need to Anybody'm gonna build this ship. I don't need to like hire something to fix up. Doesn't ask for directions. No, he is like a man's man, which is dope, by the way, because
if I'm walking with him at night. He gets in front of us, He's like, what, like, he's ready, right, Marines man. Okay. So then UM, I ended up coming out, and it was rough in the beginning. It was really tough. The way that they started to um come around was
when I got my heart broken for the first time. UM. And when you are depressed and in love and you get your heartbroken, like you don't that's something that you know people who have been older, like people who have been alive, that they're the ones that can help you and be like, I promise you will make it feel like you're going to feel like you're gonna die. And so I remember putting my head on my mom's shoulder
and being like, I'm just so sad. I was heartbroken over somebody that I loved and his family didn't accept him, and he became um we were Catholic, and he became
like even more Christian, and he died. He dove deeper into his faith and kind of abandoned everything that I had known about him um because of his faith, and I just felt like I wanted to help him get to a point where he could understand that the creator loved him exactly as he was, um, and so it's really hard, and so that's when we started to kind
of get closer to one another. Um. But you know, one of the things that I always say bot him blows that when somebody comes out to you, or somebody says, um, oh I'm queer or I'm this or whatever. I don't really like when people say I accept you, Like, that's great, but it's good. But I always say like, okay, because because I always say, um, you know, when you order something like that online, like on eBay or something, and
you get it in the mail or on Amazon. You get in the mail and you're like, well, it doesn't look the way that I wanted it to look, but it's fine. I accepted. I'm too lazy to send it back. It's fine. But I prefer when somebody says that's amazing, cheekies. I celebrate you because when you order something on Amazon and it is exactly what you wanted, you're like, oh my god, this is exactly what I wanted. This is
exactly what I needed. So we would do that. Yeah, So when you do that for somebody in your life, where you go cheekies, you are exactly who I wanted. In my life. You were exactly who I needed. I prayed for God for you, I thought of you, and you got here and here you are and I love
you and I celebrate you. You knows that to me is better than I accept you because you're like whatever, It's fine, you don't really are relutely No, I'm so glad, yeah, because those these are all things that we all need to know. You feel me. I mean, I don't know if you know, but I had I had Like I always say this, I think I'm like lesbian. Yeah, I get a little vodka and me and I'm just I want to kiss girls. You know what what I'm saying. Everybody's on the spectru every year, you know, true, I
had a friend. You know what kind of girls are you gonna do when you have a little vodka, like a more fam a little bit more mask, more mask to be honest and sometimes listen, it just it just depends, you know what I mean. I haven't done it a lot. I'm gonna be honest, but there are times when I'm just saying I just want to kiss. I'm all about
the anatomy of a woman. I think every woman is so beautiful and I love looking at their bodies and like the whole thing like and not in a sexual way, just like I appreciate and you know the woman you know the body of a woman you too, that's being queer, right, Like you're like I identified predominantly as a straight woman, and I'm assuming like you would say that your sis and at um sis like sus gendered and heterosexual um.
And but you have like your little like you know, every now and then you're like a little which is so cool because I think, there you go, there you go. There's the beauty of the spectrum, which I hope that more people are willing to tap into. It doesn't mean and that's the thing too write like, it doesn't mean like something's like well then you're by or you're a lesbian and you're like, well not really, I don't really find that in those spaces, but I can identify over here,
you know. I also have a question for you Chiakis too, like, and I don't know if it's too deep or if it's anything. Nothing is too deep because you mentioned like your mom, right and your mom is this icon that everybody knows, and you mentioned that you think that she may have had an issue with your brother. Um, and
we were also talking about like growth. Do you think that you know in any one that there would have been some level of like growth and that she may have actually been like, you know what, I celebrate you, you know what, curly, Um, I I've never talked about this anywhere, but I feel comfortable with you and this is a space to do it. Um. My mom was a very open woman and very very raw in certain areas of her life. When I went through my I
had a girlfriend at twenty three. I talked about it in my book Forgiveness, and um, she found out because she was looking through my stuff. Actually my sister told her so. She was looking through my stuff and she she told me, you know, um, and here's the thing. She's not here anymore because I'm gonna you know, I just want to clear that up. But you know, she was like, you know, if you want to be gay, if you want to be with this girl, then you need to move out and you lose all benefits as
my daughter. And I'll never forget I was in the rest of my but I love this girl, you know what I mean. And and the crazy thing is it wasn't even a sexual thing with this girl. It was all mental and I felt different and I didn't feel the pressure because I was sexually abused of having to have sex. It was just it was it was non existent in the sex. It was just kissing and holding hands. And I just felt, Oh, someone loves me without wanting to touch me, you know, sexually. So I tried to
explain it to her and she didn't understand it. And I told her, I'm like, you have a lot of gay friends, and your fans are gay, and you have employees that her gay. She's like, yeah, but not in my household. And I think it was just because of how she grew up now, mind you. I think if she was here now and how things out are and how she knows and she loves Johnny, her youngest, it would have been difficult for her. She probably wouldn't have talked to him for a little bit, but she would
have come around. I know it for a fact, because she loves her children more than anything, you know. But it I it's it's tough because I've never said that out loud, you know. I never want to make my mom look bad. But that's we all have to respect everyone's thoughts and their feelings and how she was raised in reality, because still in our family, it's not necessarily okay, you know what I mean to be gay, to be queer, but it's kind of like, don't talk about it. Let's
just out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. Um. But yeah, I think she she would have come along. And but more than anything, I think my mom was more like, what am I doing wrong as a parent? I wasn't here. She would blame herself a lot, like it's because I'm working, It's because I chose the wrong men to have kids with and they're not here to help me, and that would have gotten in her mind, like what did I do wrong as a parent? And in reality, it's not about the parent, you know, it's not.
And I understand that, and I'm really thankful. Thank you for opening up in that way, um, and thank you for sharing that part. It actually moved me to emotion and I was getting chills because you know, that goes back to the trauma of our family and the way that what they inflict on us and what they put on us. Um. I am giving you so much love and so much energy that you, yes, I feel that that you just want to be loved and hugged and and you know, not have to do that other thing, right, Um,
we haven't. We don't really know each other outside of this, but I love you. You are so loved. You are amazing. Thank you for sharing that. Um, it is really powerful, and you know, I do hope that I do think as well that hopefully they would have been like a movement into understanding, like I'm sure I do with her and everything. I think she would have understood it, you know what I mean. And and then my sister went through that, and then she went through through she she
calls it a phase. Now it's part of her testimony. And my mom thought it was because of me. She's like, she saw you do it, and it's because now she wants to do it. And I really think that there's a gay ging in her family, you know what I mean. I haven't a lesbian aunt. I have a gay uncle, you know, and it's just something. Don't talk about it, you know what I mean. But it's like, it's the true, dude, is this this is the life that we live. And
there's nothing wrong with loving whoever you love. And back then I was scared and I was young, and I did choose my mom and my family over this girl. Her and I are still friends. She's beautiful. I love her so much and she has a girlfriend, and but she taught me so much. Now I'm like, okay, I learned what I had to learn from her, and I'm grateful, you know, And I don't I don't judge my mom because I get it, you know, and she was born
in a different time. You feel absolutely And that's the thing till you want to get to a place where you're not judging anybody. And I think I'm just about I'm about live and let live. You feel me, yes, and then and then there and then you know now in different terms that people use that they're like, you know, sabeo sexual. That's when you like your You don't care what they're working with. You just like their mind, right, Like, yeah,
that's my brother. I'm I just found out that I can identify as andro sexual, and that means that I don't care what you're working with. As long as you are of masculine presenting individual, I'll probably be attracted to you. It's what what what did you say? That was called andro sexual? Andro sexual? And you know what, I'm gonna be real, honest with you right now, because now that you're bringing that up. A few years back, I I thought either you're gay, queer or straight, and I didn't
really believe in bisexuality. And through Johnny, I was all open about you know, gay people in Queer, you know the community, but I didn't understand bi sexuality or what we're talking about until like a few years back. With Johnny, he's like, no, he made me understand, and he's like, genuinely, I wish in my heart for a long time. It took him a while to just accept himself. Now he's more open about it, but he's like, I don't want to feel this way. I can't help that I am
falling in love with this girl. But I was in love with the boy last year, you know what I mean. I was like, oh, he's like, I swear to you, like and he made me understand, And now I'm like, damn, And I think everything happens for a reason. He's like my he's my brother. Obviously he's my son. And I know it would have been very hard for my mom to accept it. She's very traditional, and it's just because I think of how she was raised and I don't
blame her as far as your brother goes. UM. You know, having dealing with your identity, your queer identity, whether that's queerness within your gender or your sexuality. UM, and the guilt that sometimes we feel like we're different or we're hurting people, or the need to live within like a heteronormative life. When you it can get daunting, and it can get scary, and it can get sad, and you know, sometimes you're like, I want to be um like them.
I want to be where the people are right. And when I look at nature, I look at all the fish in the sea, the insects crawling around, the different types of flowers and trees, and I think, I always say, the Creator loves and honors diversity. It honors difference, right, And so humans tend to be like, Nope, we gotta stay in line, and we gotta do this. We're gonna be one way you can express yourself for all that you are, for all that you were created to be.
Don't hurt nobody, don't be narcissistic intentions with good intentions. But if being you it makes you feel good. Where would you want to wear? Wear a little makeup though, hat on like, then you are absolutely honoring that which created you and the place from which you came from. Yes, I completely agree with you, and that's something that I'm all about. Live and let live. I love you. You don't hurt me. I don't you do whatever you want as long as you're not hurting anyone. I always say that,
And that's something that I told Johnny, my brother. I'm like, you know what, because of the Christianity. You know, my family's Christian and my mom wouldn't be okay with them, Like this is your life. Though you have a testimony, you're gonna be able to share like you can't help what you are. You know what I mean, and you have to embrace it and now it's better. But but absolutely all right. Currently, So in the black and Latino culture, how do you feel like coming out? Do you think
it's less or more accepted? Then let's say you know Anglo, Like, what do you think about that? UM? I always say that I can only speak from experiences that I come from, So I like, I can't uh necessarily speak on Black experience, but I can speak on like mesty so Latino experience, UM, and what I find from having conversations with a lot of amazing uh black folk in academia, in entertainment and brown folk in the same communities as well. Is that
machismo is really like a currency. It's a currency globally, right, like being even sometimes fans and women think like they got to act a certain type of way to be seen to be taken seriously. Um. And and this is kind of a debate that I've gotten into before, is that I think that like black and brown folks are sometimes not allowed to be soft, We're not given the same grace to be tender. Um. Those things can be
seen as white. They can be seen as weak. They can be seen as like, um, boys don't cry, you know, like tapping up da like you know, back in the day would always call me, which is true. And yeah, I agree, I think it is sad. And there's also there's always going to be a conversation about um queerness, especially when it comes to the spectrum of racial identity and kind of like um racial politics, skin tone, colorism
specifically I think within the United States. But absolutely, oh yeah, I actually I actually have never dated a white person. That's only, um, not because I don't want to, but I find that white queer folk in l a sometimes tend to date other white queer folk in l A UM. And this is kind of like based on my own
limited experience. I'm not trying to generalize anybody in it, and I'm not saying everybody does this, but I find that when sometimes when white queer folks want to date me or some of my friends, they expect us to be kind of like hyper versions of what they expect a Latino, a black American or a black Latino or mestizo to be like a little bit rougher, a little bit more hood. They want us to be the top
all the time. Okay, have you been unfaithful before? Like you know, never in in any of my Actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep it real with you, because I always keep it real. I actually had different ideas of what unfaithful meant for a very long time, like I didn't understand. So for me, I always thought that unfaithful meant an affair like having an affair with somebody, um, like an emotional affair, like an emotional physical affair like I was going to the same person. I always thought
of that as being unfaithful. I never thought like kissing someone else was unfaithful. I never thought that like engaging sexually with some of the person one time was being unfaithful, and like flirting, texting and stuff, well even like even like oral, like I never thought that that was like cheating. I was like, well, I'm going to go back to my boyfriend and I'm never going to see this person again,
So how is that being unfaithful? But now as an adult, and of course three years of therapy and kind of you know, understanding and by years, I mean like a year and a half and two the years, Um it's years. I need six months. I love it. But like no, but you know, after therapy, like I'm like, oh, I was kidding myself, Like I was like not being honest with myself. And sometimes you don't even know that you're not being honest with yourself. You start to believe what
you believe. And yeah, So to answer your question, and yes, did I think that that's what I was doing at the time, No, but yeah, you had to go through that in order to figure out, Okay, this is what's wrong, this is what's right, or whatever. Absolutely clearly. So I have a question in regards to social anxiety and I'm going to tell you because again I always go back to my brother Johnny, because that's like the closest thing I have, like to the lgbt Q community. So he
has a lot of social anxiety. You know, he'd rather stay at home. He rarely likes going out to parties. His friends invite him. And I have to tell Johnny, like, you gotta go and explore and meet new people. And does that is that a thing like for you or you just never experienced that? My god, I'm very open about it. And I think that a lot of people, you know, they consider me an extrovert, and and I'm like, I am a very very, very friendly and loving introvert.
Like I love people. I love to make jokes. But like, if you tell me, like, give you curly come to the house, I'm making dinner. It's just me and two other people. Done. If you tell me Curly coming to the house, I'm having a party, I'm there, Like fuck, Like what do I know? I will say that There's several things I'm like, we have to grow up in the closet, we have to grow up in the dark.
We have to learn how to move in the world without being able to do the same things that a lot of straight people, specifically straight passing people as well can do. Like you can have a crush on the boy and flirt when you're like in the sixth grade and be like I like him or whatever. I couldn't
do that. I mean, I still did it because I was like the funk, but like a lot of us couldn't do that, right, So we're not given the same grace or the same time to really grow in the same way that a lot of people get to spec typically since hat people get to um. My anxiety also comes from the fact that I present as a queer person. You look at me, I got a little sway in my hip, I moved my hand a certain type of way, you know, I wear makeup, and when you when I
opened my mouth, I'm like, hey, what up? You know what I mean? I'm not like, I'm not what's good? I'm like, what up? What's good? You know? So I feel like I always talk about I have moved through the world as a queer person, and it is scary, Like toxic masculinity seeks to destroy a lot of things that aren't masculine, and whether that's a woman, then somebody
who's queer. It's scary I have to worry about if I want to go out, but the hand while I was wearing I just went to a fashion show and I was wearing a small ballero naked and just jeans. I would never go into like, uh gas station like that by myself. I'd be scared because what would happen, Like, what's going to happen? So it's the outside world, right and what they put on that causes it. It's a safety thing. And I find that a lot of weird people were just afraid for our lives. We're afraid of
like getting made fun of. We're afraid of like people instigating a situation. You know, some straight people get to hold hands with the person that they love on the street. If I want to hold my boyfriend's hand on the street, it is almost like an act of like revolution. It's like I'm being like, here we are, I'm fucking queer, and we're going to hold hands down the street. But I don't want to be a revolutionary cheekys. I want
to be puld my man's hand. Yeah. Always kind of like what the heck you know, hasn't gotten has a social anxiety gotten? Better throughout the years you feel after well because oh yeah, has it because the pandemic is one thing. But anyways, with the pandemic, it has you know what, Um, it always changes. I always say there's no right answer and there's no wrong answer, and the right answer always changes. Right. So like some days I'm like, oh, I'm looking good, I'm doing so good and this is
what works for me. And other days I'm like, no, I'm but I'm very like the way that I was raising, a lot of people are raising, like I'm not going to back down. So like you have anxiety, I gotta fight it. I'm not gonna sit there and be like, oh no, I can't do it. And some people do and that's okay, and we're all in different places in our life. But I will say I do this thing, um, like I hate going to the supermarket. I get anxiety about going to the supermarket. And I know a lot
of people do as well. Um, but I do this thing where I'm like, curly, if you go to the supermarket right now, you're going to meet a fine ace guy and he's gonna be so like you want to meet to find a guy you want to meet, let's go and so I go. I'm all excited. I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna meet my husband, I say, in that zone. And so I get there and keep that for a while. That used to It's so crazy. I used to do that to go to the gym. Bitch, Yeah, get cute girl, put on those I go work out
because you know there's gonna be a hot guy there. That. Yes, that's how you trick yourself and you do those things. I mean anxiety. I think that it's like it's a big thing, even like you know, she's like, oh, and I'm like, of course I've I've lived with anxiety. I am. I know her. She lives in my house too. She never lives in my house. Yeah, And I'm like, but if you're barely learning that language, you know, my dad put learning about the word trauma. He didn't know, and
so now he's more open. He's like, I think that was traumatizing to me as a kid. I think I have trauma. Yeah, it's because I think they grew up not believing in anxiety or depression and no, you know and and no, dude, that ship exists and it's real. And I think after the pandemic. That's when it really hit me where I'm like, damn, what is going to happen? And sometimes you think twice three times to go out, now,
you know what I mean? So and you hit that, you hit that rock bottom where you're I did you know I was going through a lot during the pandemic or should I say the quarantine? And I started feeling all that the depression and everything. You know, like the unknown you feel me? Yeah, I mean a lot of people, a lot of us, like the unknown is kind of what scares us all the time. Um. It was something I saw something that said, if you're feeling depressed, it's
because you're thinking about the past too much. And if you're feeling anxious, it's because you're thinking about the future too much. So if you can find a way to stay in the present, it helps. I mean, look, it's so hard because I'm always especially like we're in entertainment too, right, Like, and I started in the kitchen, so I feel like I got kind of discovered in a way, and I'm like, what happens with us in entertainment? We gotta keep ustling,
We gotta keep singing and dancing and making jokes. Making jokes until I'm eighty. Now I gotta get on TikTok and learn a hold routine. Yeah, some serious pressure. Yeah yeah, I just put something on my Instagram about that too, About you live in the moment. Don't worry about what hasn't even happened. Do you feel me? We stress ourselves out.
My therapist calls it catastrophizing. Oh, you're catastrophizing. You're creating a scenario that hasn't even happened yet, You're thinking of a catastrophe that hasn't even happened, and so I'm like my therapist calls it future tripping, future tripping. I've heard that one too, Yes, yeah, trip right now, hold up, I'm always future tripping always. Honestly, Curly, this has been
such a beautiful, open, honest relationship, relationship conversation. Could be a relationship to now that I know you know we're both could work. Yes, I just want to say thank you. Honestly, you are a beautiful human being. You have such a beautiful light and this mind that I'm just like, so you're intriguing, So thank you, And I think that you are a wonderful role model, a person that people can look up to, and which is why I wanted to
talk to you. And I don't know, do you have some type of advice something that you would want to tell someone that's coming out and they don't know what to do or how to do it. Um, thank you so much for your words. And I really feel like this is a really beautiful conversation as well. So the feeling is absolutely mutual advice. You know. Um, there's no wrong way, there's no right way, and the answer always changes. If you are in a safe space, if you're in
a space where you can come out do it. You're gonna love it. If you can't, that's also okay, Like do what feels right for you, do it the best way that you can. At the end of the day, we're all going to go back to the source. We're all little cups of water going to get to get thrown back into the ocean. And you know, live it
up as best as you can. Um, love as hard as you can, laugh, as hard as you can, masturbate, do the things stick something in your day, explore, you know, and you know, talking about this subject, that's what I told Johnny when you wanted to come out, I'm like, dude, if it makes you feel worse keeping it inside, then bring it out. If it's gonna if it's scary to bring it out, keep it in for a little bit, you know what I mean? And I just want you
to be happy. And once you're happy and you don't, you don't have that weight on you and you're like, this is who I am, and you you completely accept yourself first. Everyone else is going to feel that and accept you have no other choice but accept you, and then you're gonna be able to really just fly. You feel me, and he did. Now he feels I've seen since he's talked about it, you know, publicly, he's definitely radiating. He's better. He's just in a different place, you know.
So that's just my little two cents on it, but you know, absolutely, Curly, thank you again. It has been a wonderful conversation. We have to do it again for sure, and I want. I'm sure a lot of people know who you are, but just in case they may not know and they just put on game today. Let them know your social where they can find you are your phone one, accept your address. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at the Curly b Show, Vias in Victor Um and I'm just there. I basically just show
me in my family all the time. UM. And we also would love to have you on our podcast. I was going to tell you about that. Yes, we are called the Super Secret Bestie Club. It's me and my best friend, um Maya Moyo who uh you know we have. We give advice on topics that are very normal crushes, boyfriends, love. I'm always giving like the kind of problematic advice and she's more like, I love it. I would love to. I would love to be honest, it would be so amazing.
We'd love to have you. Um. Please check us out. Oh thank you, and don't forget to listen to Cheeks and Chill every Monday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. This is a production of I Heart Radio and podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael Podcasts and follow me Cheeks on Instagram at cheek Kee's and I'll see you guys next week. Les nombezzo and remember condos too. See Nana h