What up, guys.
Welcome back to my conversation with my brother. If you guys didn't listen to the first part, because it's now the second part, listen to the first part of the conversation with my brother Mike. Okay, big Mike, not Mikey no more. All right, So here we go. Have you forgiven yourself yet for the relationship with Luna's mom not working because I know that weight heavy on you for a long time.
I think we're at a good understanding me here now where it's it's good. It was probably never going to work out.
You guys were just meant to make this beautiful being.
Well yeah, I mean, and we just we climbed together really quick and then just find out over time, like we were within a year of being together, we were pregnant with Luna. And then, you know, she says that the day Mom passed, I changed, you know, and that I have no point of reference because I don't remember
that person anymore, you know. Yeah, And so I'm sorry for that for you know, using that as justification for any like stupid decisions I made, or or just letting it go, or feeling like relief when she left me, you know, because it wasn't like we were at odds and it was a and you know, it's it's easier to run away than to fucking re find out why he loved somebody, you know, And so I mean I stort of regret now, like, you know, not not waking up with Luna in my house every morning, you know,
or not always being able to take her to school or pick her up because she you know, for for a while there we both lived in the valley, so it wasn't too far and it was possible. But now there's you know, there's more distance there, and it's just yeah,
but I mean we're in a good understanding. Luna understands and if anything, like me and her mom have in the past couple of years, we had a couple of rough patches, but in the past year we've gotten really good and we can like kind of talk again that that I missed sad because me and Dre were legit like like really good friends, you know, and even after
we'd broken up. Luna, it's weird for her sometimes, like she's just like she gets bugged out and her mom will be like, your dad's my friend, like this is he's he's my really good friend, Like and she's just like, can we just go already, Like there'll be here.
Talking and like's just he's uncomfortable.
Yeah, and she's just like this is weird, and like that makes me sad because she doesn't remember having a whole family and I get to redo that again, you know. And and it's not always easy, but it's like it's definitely worth I'm a big believer in the nuclear family and in the way that we're going in the world.
It's it's discouraged or it's a lie or yeah, because it can't work out for everybody, but there's having a mom and a dad in the same household and the mom and the dad being able to communicate.
And and it makes a big difference.
Yeah, and the baby having all the love possible spell I lives with us, so she just has she has she's with her grandma all the time, and she's getting love from all these angles. And Luna's a really good but there's.
Not a hint of jealousy and like, goodness, that's the perfect time.
That you know, and it's like, you know, it just sucks that I missed out on that because of my decisions. And I'll take full blame for that, you know, for you know.
Just a lot. Brother.
That means that you've That's why I wanted to ask you that, because you also have to remember you both were so young, you know what I mean, Like, I howld were you like twenty twenty one?
Yeah, a new mom for half of her life? Yeah? Crazy? Right, She's forty two when she passed. I was twenty one, and damn dude, you pa And if I'm lucky, I would have known her a third of my life, you know, Like I don't know how far I'm gonna make it.
I don't know this, please Lord.
Yeah, but you know, it's just like at the end of the day, it's going to be a really small portion of time of life that I had her, you know. But she came at the perfect time because I would, you know, damn well, especially at.
That time, called Luna his life saver.
Yeah, because I would. I would have lost my mind, you know.
But it was how many months she was three months? Three months when my mom passed.
I feel like telling you God, everything was like wait, because I think it would have been a disaster if we didn't have Luna, for you know.
I would have for sure went off. It changed us. I still have you know, bad habits and things that I'm trying to correct and like that would have been too much. And then also I was very guarded under Mom. Yeah, so it's like without having that, you know, without having or not not because she I don't think she purposely kept us for experience. I just she kind of knew my tendencies and my you know, to kind of go
an old direction I wasn't supposed to go. And if I didn't, if I didn't have that there and Luna there to keep me and keep me level headed, I would have been using it as an excuse to just fucking go off and be the fucking graffiti writer I'd always wanted to be. And yeah, just not giving ship and just fucking you know, I would.
Have been completely different. Oh absolutely, I mean it changed us. Losing Mom. It was learning how to live and all over again.
It was tough.
So I mean the fact that you can be vulnerable and talk about it and accept it, that's like huge a lot of people, don't you know, and well mom talk about Mom or talk about also the mistakes that you also, like you could say, hey, it was it was my fault I messed that up or whatever like and forgive yourself for it and say, give yourself some grace and give yourself some like space to say, hey, I messed up, but I'm trying to fix it, you know what I mean.
And and you guys tell me I'm not nice enough to myself, But I think in the moment, in the subjects that matter, I do give myself grace or I allow myself grace or be like, you know you did that, How are you going to react now? Yeah, So I might beat myself up the rest of the time, but that's only because I don't know, I don't think. But talking to myself positively works for me. You know, are telling myself that I'm the greatest and I'm worthy of this is and it's like.
You're a man, you're more logical.
Well, I have to prove it to myself, you know, like, because as it is, I don't believe believe myself. So if there's anyone out there in the world I need to prove wrong, it's me. It's that back part of me that has doubt, like you know, like I'm going to show you you, you know, like I'm gonna show you you.
Yeah, yeah, you know, but it does help to to just say, you know, polit you got this ship, dude, you got Like I try.
But the thing is when with especially because I'm new to affirmation and so maybe just like general happy ones don't necessarily work for me, but a great affirmation is all right, what do you need to improve on today, or what do you need to what do you need to be avoiding or you know, like like I've been.
I've been. I got back in my fast and fucked holities fucked me up, but I got back into it and then like so, but when I when I am and I'm like I'm hungry and I'm pushing past it, and I'm like, you know, it's it's like that's like, that's an affirmation for me. It's like, no, you can have self control and you're not You're not controlled by every single little impulse that you have to go do something stupid or just like you know, I try to be the level headed one, you.
Know, Yeah, and you are honestly like you. I think we have a little bit of everything in our little in our family and our sibling you know family. But that's what I love about you because when you speak like there's a lot of like right now, you're you're leaving a lot of little I'm here and I love it,
like a lot of little bites. I'm like listening to you, I'm like, dude, this is fucking awesome, Like I have such a glad, very natural, like yeah, it's we're having a conversation, and these are our conversations, you guys on our group chat. We talk about some real ship, Like we go back and forth, we have discussions. We don't always agree, but he knows that. I'm just like, that's so cheeky.
I'm also it's always me and you kind of yeah, you know, and but that's okay, dude. It's not like we're completely different people. And I need your your unrelenting positivity sometimes, you know, like you know, like yeah, when you tell me I'm the greatest, some days, I'm just like she's full of shit. She doesn't know. Other days it gets through, you know. And but I need the days when I'm the lowest, like sometimes like you might not even know because I try to charge I don't know.
I also wear my emotions on my.
Sleeves before we move on, because I wanted to do a little something with you a little game. But a lot of people always wonder like, why is myke like more or Mike? You know, Mike, Why is Mike like so like behind the scenes because you're not in the limelight, which I think is awesome.
Do you do that to protect.
Yourself or do you do that more because you don't want to deal with all the bullshit that it like goes on with it? Or is it just you're just happier that way, Like what is it?
Onions have layers, I'm just kidding, but there's multiple layers to it. Okay, what happened when I was I think fifteen, with you know, one of my friends leading other dickheads to break into the house while we were gone?
Oh yes, yes, that from then on because.
I think before that I was probably a lot more bubbly and nice, and I still am that way, but now it's just like, I'm nice to everyone from a distance, but there's only so many people that get close and I don't like that. But that's it was a defense mechanism for him from back then. Yeah, and then I got into graffiti and then so it's like, and the
cool thing about that was that for a little bit. Anyways, because now people who know know that, oh that's Journey sent and he writes this and he's from here and hangs out with these guys or whatever, because everything everything is word of mouth. But for a long for a little bit, it was like, this is cool because this
has to do with me. This is nothing to do with my family or my face or my name, and like, yeah, so a lot of it came to that, and that was like all the pictures of me from before I'm eighteen on the cover in my face, you know, like yeah, you know, or like just like that was just my thing. And then like I took fame really different from everybody, just because it just didn't feel real because I was famous one for being Mom's son, and I had always I accepted I'm her son, but I wanted to become
something on my own. And then like even though we were ourselves on the show, you know, it's like there's nothing I could constantly say that the riveras or I love Jenny. None of that was scripted. That was all genuinely us. I still don't think that's the best reputation representation of myself, and that's not I'm not I don't look back on that it's like, oh, I'm super proud of that, and are there are fun moments that we
wouldn't have lived in some cases without it? Yeah, you know, yeah, we wouldn't have had certain memories without that, And I accept that. But at the end of the day, like it brought a lot of attention that didn't feel earned, and it just didn't feel like it was genuinely because of me. Like, so I think you had to do a lot with that and.
People to love you for you, for Michael.
Yeah. And then the last layer was it just some of some of some of the Mom's fans a little crazy, you know what? Wait, just they would like people would like go like just for for years, Like I would have to hear about it from like people bothering Dre and her dms, you know, like okay, or like you know, you know other exes, like people thinking and this is
not just people that are haters. It's people that think that they love us, you know, in the same way that there's people that love Mom so much that they'll attack you because they think that that's showing love. And so people would like try to they'd be like messaging X my ex and be like, oh, you're not good
enough for him. You're a fucking gold digger. Not knowing this girl had two jobs and not knowing that she dealt with her own like depression and her own her own insecurity and stuff, and like yeah, and it's like that's fun, that's yeah. So after that, I was like, all right, you guys don't get this anymore. And then even with with with Nova, like those moments are they're precious and it's not like, oh, I'm holding this off from the world, but I'm still locked in in that moment,
like yeah, I get the feeling. You're like, oh, I got to take picture and send it to my siblings, and for me.
That's all that Like look, you guys' Instagram show, Yeah, you enjoy enjoy being private.
The last last part is I don't think people deserve it.
Nice.
My following doesn't. This doesn't deserve it, you know, because that's all they all they care about is not all day. I'm sorry because I don't mean to offend anyone, but genuinely, the same reason they want to know about my personal life is like the rest of you know, it's like episodic TV, like you want to know about every character. Oh, and this character goes this way and this one and this one pops up in the sixth season, and like they's so they want that, like you know, oh yeah,
it's like, let me just checking on these people. But when it comes to like last time I did my my friend's small podcast, like and I was checking the views just because I wanted to help him out, and nobody, like it was like there was hours had passed and nobody was like, oh, let me give this a click,
you know. And I don't hold that against people, but I'm like, I'm definitely not just gonna what I'm gonna start just posting shit just based on what people want to see, because that's not what I that's what I'm not, not what I want. But I don't feel the need
to present that to the world. I don't need to be like my whole being is being a parent or being an autism parent or Jenny's Sun. There's so much more complexities to me and if like if there's because I don't, maybe i'd be more if my life depended on it. But like I got lucky to find this pocket of work where I don't need I don't need to put it out every day I don't need to like search for likes and stuff or whatever. And I'm
blessed because God knows it's uncomfortable for me. Like even like posting stuff with my work, like it fucks up the whole day because I have to think, like, oh, I got to make sure we get this, and I gotta get this and get this. It's a whole time to get out. And on the days when I just tell myself just don't fucking worryorry about it, like just paint, do a great job, get a good final picture, and
you're ready, those are the days. Yeah, And I'm like, and then I I when when I am dedicated too much, I get too much footage. It's too damn long. No one's holding their attention that long. And it's like, I do need to get better at it, and eventually I'll pay somebody to do that.
But yeah, when I finally let that go, like.
I lived at a lot more peace, And I delete Instagram off my phone at least once every other couple of months.
I know, since I'm like I'm searching, I'm like, damn, where's Mikey. He okay, he deactivated. It's cool, It's normal.
Those days go better up here right now. I'm just like even the other day, I'm like, dude, you've been scrolling for this shit too long, like you need to be doing something else, or even if I'm fucking I don't know, I just like I'm not comfortable spending my time, and I know I'm also conscious of my own bad habits, like I always got to go to common sections like oh, let me find the dumb ass in here that's about to say some stupid shit about Kendrick right now, but
I'll do yeah, but that's so toxic and if I can't, if I know, I'm not like on most days, I'll like type something out, I'm like, hah, that's clever, and then delete it and that's good enough. But even that, it's like, why you know, it's I don't think. Lastly, Lastly, Lastly, I'm not sure if we were ever supposed to ment be meant to be this exposed to each other's thoughts
and like, you know, like just in every passet. And then maybe that's why no one gets along now, because we know too fucking much about each other and everyone has this opinion that they want or you know, I feel like everyone wants to change the world and do
it in their own way. And when nobody and when other people are don't see the same vision, there's something wrong with this person, and like from now we're all clashing when it's like if you guys just all shut the fuck up and be nice to each other, that'll work a lot better.
But yeah, who, I love this dude.
So all those reasons, like.
Honestly, they're all valid. I'm not even like it's not get it.
Then that's just for me. That's not like I look down on people on social media or.
Like, yeah I skilled back a little bit for that reason, where it's just like I was sharing too much on social media and it's like, okay, people just had an opinion about everything. Now I'm like, okay, I don't necessarily want to share everything about my relationship, like I want to live and go on a bike ride and like yeah, like so many different things.
It's like, you don't have to know everything in your socials.
Actually that's like, so you have to tell that fine line to show personal parts to yourself and then also not sell every random product because but you have your own my own businesses and shit that you have to push out. And I understand that. But luckily, like I don't have that, and I see that as a blessing as opposed to like, oh, nobody's on my Like I genuinely it's fine with me that, like, yeah, I don't get that much because when I do try to get engagement,
it's there, but it's for the wrong reason. It's because I'm being a jack.
All because you're talking shit or something to someone.
Because that's naturally how I am.
You even talk shit to us, okay, so I know we'll get offended. He'll tell us straight up all kinds of things.
So it's like, I don't know, it has more to do with self control, Like does everybody need to hear this clever little opinion I had about this stuff, like no, And most of the time the answer is no, yeah, And I don't really care what most people think about anything, and.
You genuinely don't, like.
I just you know, like I was really young when I wanted to save the world and it stressed me on The world still stresses me out to this day, but I'm not going to be the one to save it. And that's okay because I have this little world that I'm struggling to keep together, not struggling, but you know, it's challenge and it's like, when I get this downpack, then maybe I'll come out to save the world. But right now I don't need that, you know.
Yeah, before you go, brother, this is a game called We're Not Really Strangers?
Have you heard of it? No?
Okay, there's a family addition.
And I want you to pick a card or actually I'm gonna pick a card and I'm gonna ask you a question.
Is that cool?
Okay? Pick it from the three piles?
From the three pile? Shit, okay, well, I don't know, because usually it goes from anyways.
We'll see if you're magic trick. No, no, it's your magic trick. Pick a card, any card, but this one specifically.
Okay, no, not this one because there's okay sexual, it's very sexual. Here we go.
What's a vivid memory that you have of me growing up that makes you smile to this day?
Shit? Mmm? All right, I got it, And you know I know you'll have the exact same memory hooked on phonics. Oh too. You took so much pride and uh and just like making sure me and Jackie were engaged, and you know Mom was always put so much into school, and none of us were good at it, yeah, including yourself, but you're like it like I'm gonna and you were the best teacher missus Cheeky's, missus Cheeky's and like, so yeah,
I remember hooked on the floor. Make it the funnest game, dude. Like, and I remember being mad at you because you didn't read my flint Stones book to me the same way the mom did. Remember that because you didn't change your voice and ship that's just a bonus.
No I do, No, I do, because it actually have to put like more like character into it. But yeah, hooked on phonics, you guys. I don't know if you guys ever heard of hooked on phonics. Hooked on phonics is like a way of like my mom wanted us to like learn and be better after school because we were all just really bad it.
Like I was really bad at reading. I couldn't tell them, yeah, okay, good, thank you brother, And I was like, cheeks, call me missus cheeks, and I was strict.
You sure have to wait, raise our hands and stuff. And me and Jackie loved it, dude, Johnny, I love it. I don't know if Johnny and Janeica ever got the same thing.
But yeah, I know, I honestly like, oh that makes me so happy.
Oh my god, no, you asked me one. Okay, right, okay, okay, this is a good one for I'll expand this to all the siblings. How likely are you to bring your significant other home to meet us? And what is something that you'd warn them about beforehand? So they obviously your significant other has met us? Yes, fuck no, but that doesn't count. Imagine you met We didn't. I didn't. We didn't all meet Amelia at the same time. Yeah, what would be your warning if he was coming to the house.
Well, well, the thing is talking about that. Remember when we when he was at Becky's party and how you didn't like him?
Oh my god, dude, I'm so glad I didn't fuck him up like I wanted to. He didn't. Guys, this is a real time. It looked tough to me. And then and then I like, I started riding bikes with him, and like all these wholes ripped and he boxes. He would have sucked me up, but I wanted to beat
I wanted to beat them as because he dropped. He didn't do it on purpose, but he bumped into a table and the beer spilled on me, and I was already like the night that he was already talking to my sister and like they're.
The same age, by the way.
Yeah, and so he was I'm glad. I'm glad, but I was probably being a douche dude. I think I was.
You were you and Red. Now Red is his Mikey's best friend. He's like a brother to us, and he cuts Emidio's hair.
But yes, he's like, Mike, you don't like that. And I was like, dude, I was like, he's really nice to you. And I'm like, yeah, I was like, I like him.
You just you needed I was more mad at you because you just like you're just like, oh, you made it obvious how much you liked them off for it. I sure did.
I like that that guy on the.
Record, he's awesome, dude, that he makes you like he I've never seen someone push you, push you out of your comfort zone in the healthiest way possible, where it's like not that you're lazy or anything, or you're not outdoorsy, but you're never going to plan a trip to go to fucking.
Zion and.
Across because a.
Lot of my friends don't do that. So I finally found like my match because I've always been into hiking and all that stuff, but like he really.
Pulled that, like or even just watching The Office, like like I never would have thought that'd be your type of comedy. Yeah, and then like you're like and like when you got into it, like oh so you watched this episode of this episode and just like he's just a freaking.
Cool kill Tony too, all these things watch we love kill Tony.
I'm going to You're going, I'm going on the forum. We should go shut up?
Oh my god, you gotta tell me he's going to love you.
Isn't making you want to get back in the comedy, but it's not gonna happen.
You should that be.
But anyways, they love each other now, yeah, okay, good, now they love each other.
And Amilia was like, damn, why does the Foo want to be so freaking nice? I wanted to hate him so bad, but.
Now they love each other, so anyways, that's not really strange. I wanted to just you know, I wish we had more time, But brother, I love no, I freaking love it, and I think that it's beautiful that people can feel and see your heart through the podcast because there's so much about you that people don't know.
But I love that that it's mysterious. You're intriguing.
I think the cheat code is a I mean, this just feels like a conversation. We're having it your hay.
Yes, I know.
Otherwise I don't think it would have came out. But I'm gland you for having me and I'm blessed to be here.
I love you brother with all my heart. You guys, thank you for watching.
Honestly, I hope that you guys enjoyed this conversation because for me it's super special because my brother's super busy now, he has his family, has girls, he has his business. And I'm just happy that I got this moment with you.
And then you want to me to be part of this, and before we go, I just like, I just want to tell you just how much because another yet another reason why I am how I am is because I'm not comfortable growing in front of the world. I need to do it in my privacy. And you have never
had that luxury you know you've had. You had to become the cheekies that you are in front of everyone's fucking eyes, and the fact that you've been able to do it and keep your head up high and grow, and the fact that I'm so confident that you're nowhere
near what you're gonna be one day. You know, like I don't know what the fuck that is, Like maybe you don't or maybe you have a better idea, but I'm confident you being there, and like that's you've done it in front of everyone's eyes, and it's like everyone can see like it's being because of you. You know, thank you, Like we asked Mom. We're here and people know about us because a mom, and people have love for us because of Mom. But you know, like you've
also been able to become your own person. I feel like you know, so thankk you for being an inspiration.
Oh brother, I love.
You, Okay, I love you so much.
You guys, thank you for watching and listening to this episode of Cheeky's and Cheer Cry Fool.
I love you.
I know you're getting all watery.
This is a production of iHeartRadio and the micro Dura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts, then follow me Cheeky's That's c h I q U I S
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast