Childproof - podcast cover

Childproof

Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantomcreators.spotify.com
Parenting is hard, but it's even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at your kids (we’ve all done it) to finding a sleep schedule that doesn’t ruin your life, Gwenna and Tori share the challenges they’ve faced and the lessons they’ve learned, and are eager to share their experiences through a mix of one-on-one conversations, guest appearances, and input from listeners revealing their own parenting secrets. Clearly, we could use some help from everyone and their mother.
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Episodes

Bored In The House

Welcome to summer. School is out. It’s hot. The chorus of I’m bored has begun. But let’s be honest. It’s not just the kids who get bored. Parents get bored too. We just aren’t allowed to complain about it as loudly. On this episode of Childproof Tori and Gwenna discuss how they cope with their own boredom and teach kids how to be bored while doing it. From hobby collections to dreaming up group activities, bored boring boredom is not the end of the world. We want to hear from you. How do you han...

Jun 25, 202547 min

Are Movies Better Than Books? (Minisode)

Tori gave Gwenna a minisode to discuss books versus movies because they desperately needed to hear more on the subject after the timer went off. Timerless time well spent. Did you like hearing Gwenna talk about books and want to hear more? Let us know childproofmail@gmail.com Did you catch that bit at the end?

Jun 18, 202517 min

The Nostalgia Hits Different

Nostalgia always hits different. It’s even weirder when you start sharing the staples of your past with the next generation. Does Ferngully still hold up? (Spoiler: Tim Curry always holds up.) In this episode of Childproof, Tori and Gwenna discuss how much of our childhoods translate well to our children’s. From TV shows to movies, playground games to books, we tackle the “Accepted not acceptable” duality of the 80s, 90s, and even parts of the 2000s nostalgia. We want to hear from you! Share you...

Jun 18, 202554 min

Parenting Fails

We are responsive parents. Not perfect ones. In this episode of Childproof Tori and Gwenna tackle some of their less than stellar moments, discuss the glories of apologies, and recount some of their wilder moments of total disregulation. Hate getting interrupted? Us too. Triggered by feeling ignored? Same. Feel destructive and overstimulated by a toy? Mood. We are not perfect parents. We are people doing our best. It’s cool to accept that, embrace that, learn from our mistakes, and try something...

Jun 11, 202558 min

Ode to Minisodes

Did you ever think you’d miss Baby Shark? Because you might miss Baby Shark…This episode is a little bit of everything. Some emails, some listener submissions, some topics that we want to talk about but wouldn’t be enough for a whole episode. Be sure to check out the mini-minisode because the timer rudely interrupted Tori’s Benjamin Rush rant.Also books, and merch, and all those things you need to know about in link form. We want to hear from you: childproofmail@gmail.com Click Here For: Merch G...

Jun 04, 202554 min

Founding Drama (Minisode)

Tori won a bet and got to talk about whatever they wanted to for five whole minutes and Gwenna had to pretend to be interested. Then there was a surprising plot twist. Gwenna was so interested that now there's an entire minisode so Tori could finish their story. Did you enjoy hearing about Benjamin Rush, do you want to hear more? Let us know childproofmail@gmail.com Big exciting surprise coming soon.

Jun 04, 202517 min

Mom Friends

Making friends as a kid seemed hard when Gwenna and Tori were kids. Turns out it was way easier to make friends as kids as it is to make friends as moms. Also, it’s good to note, sometimes we don’t need to improve the system. Writing a note “Will you be my friend, check yes or no” still feels like a valid approach. This week we discuss making friends, keeping friends, and the difference between in-person and virtual villages. Let us know how you make friends, seriously we need to know because we...

May 28, 202547 min

Summertime Sadness 2

We resume discussion of the Surviving Summer. It doesn’t have to suck. There are ways to make it fun for everyone without breaking the bank. Lots and lots of things to do to keep the kids engaged, out of brain rot mode, and not driving you bonkers with boredom. We go over a few ideas. Plus, Gwenna made a complete summer survival guide as a free download! Check it out if you’re out of ideas or if your idea generator is tired. We gotchu!And let us know what you're doing this summer, we want to hea...

May 21, 202547 min

Summer Sadness

Summertime is nearly upon us. Closer for some than others but the school year is wrapping up and these kids are about to be home all day. Every day. Why are summers so hard for parents? Tori and Gwenna try to deconstruct why summers kinda suck and discuss a few ways to make them suck a little less. At least that’s what they try to do. They get distracted. A lot. What are your favorite summer activities? Do you stay busy or go with the flow? Let us know, childproofmail@gmail.com Click here for: M...

May 14, 202546 min

Emails and Emotes

Today’s episode of the Childproof Podcast is diving back into our email box and comment sections to hear what you have to say. We beg you to email us all the time and it only feels fair that we share with the rest of the class. If you have a question, comment, or idea for the show please email us at childproofmail@gmail.com or leave us a comment. This episode is proof we do actually read them just like we said. And we can’t honestly remember if we need this so we are gonna pop it down here just ...

May 07, 202545 min

Childproofed Hills

American cheese may or may not be food. Blue is a flavor. As is purple. Cosplayers and Sports Fans are basically the same. Raisins are definitely not food. There is crying in the zombie apocalypse. These are the hills we shall defend until the bitter end. And this episode makes no sense. We’re not going to pretend otherwise. Enjoy. And be sure to email us to argue about any of these hills we are willing to lay down up to defend. We love to argue and we'd love to hear from you, what hills have yo...

Apr 30, 202543 min

Finding Out

We know we have to let our kids mess up. We have to let them learn. Sometimes we have to let them learn the hard way. They mess up and they have to find out. This episode of Childproof covers just what it takes when we have to take a step back and let our kids find out. Disclaimer: Sensitive viewers & listeners take note, death, dying, grieving, pet loss, family loss, and funerals are mentioned and discussed in this episode. Merch: Click Here Youtube: Click Here Be sure to check out Tori’s Y...

Apr 23, 202550 min

Sarcasm is a Love Language

What happens when two sarcastic people make children together? You end up with a kid who is genetically built to be sarcastic. That’s what. Ask us how we know. This episode we are talking kid jokes, learning time and place, how sarcasm can still be empathetic, and then more kid jokes. We like kid jokes. Merch: Click Here Tori's History Series: Click Here Find Gwenna's new book, "The Soul's Guide to the After Death" here: Click Here We want to hear from you! Email us: childproofmail@gmail.com...

Apr 16, 202551 min

Person Parents

Being a twenty-first century parent is a lot. You have to find time for yourself while prioritizing yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself. Be yourself. But how are you supposed to do that when these kids rely on you for almost everything. How do you find time to be yourself, or even remember who you are while parenting? The answer: we don’t know but here’s a few things we do just for us - ways we try to balance the person with the parent. Gwenna's Book: Click Here You...

Apr 09, 202553 min

It’s OK to be Anxious (sometimes)

Sometimes you gotta do it anxious. There’s a difference between feeling anxious and living with anxiety. No matter what level of anxious you feel, you still have to parent and adult and work and live. This episode we discuss how anxiety impacts us, how we help our kids process their anxiety, and how anxiety isn’t all bad all the time. We want to hear from you, email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com Youtube: Click Here Bob Ross Clapper: Click Here...

Apr 02, 202548 min

Dr Google: A Mom’s Best Friend & Worst Enemy

Your kid is sick. Is it time for an ice pack and a nap? Or is it doctor time? When do you give Tylenol? Is Motrin safe for babies? Did I do something that got my kid lice? What do you mean my kid can’t wear their coat in their car seat? Parents hit up Google a lot. This episode of Childproof dives a little deeper and provides real-time parenting insight to some of the most common reasons parents find themselves in Dr. Google’s waiting room. Want to hear from actual doctors on some of this? Check...

Mar 26, 202544 min

You Don’t Like Dragons, Kid

We like to read. We really like to read. Books have been a constant companion of both Tori and Gwenna and we are working on passing that love of reading on. It’s a slower process that we expected with some of our kids. Others jumped right in. This episode we discuss how we help our kids choose books, series they love, series we love, and how we find time as parents to read. (Spoiler: Mostly audiobooks and pickup line time.) Youtube: Click Here...

Mar 19, 202550 min

Chaotic Good Parenting pt 2

Will it work for everyone? Absolutely not. There’s no one right way to raise kids. And sometimes you get to look at a rule and say Nope. We can’t do it that way. It won’t work for us. From approaching hair color and makeup to what our kids can consume for media, we set the boundaries and hope we got it right? Youtube: Click Here Ban This Book: Click Here We love hearing from you, email us: childproofmail@gmail.com...

Mar 12, 202548 min

Chaotic Good Parenting

Ever look at a common idea or behavior and think “Nope. That’s not for me.” Cuz same. Today on Childproof Tori and Gwenna discuss come of their most Chaotic Good Parenting choices. From perfect attendance to censoring music with some stops in virtual learning, mental health days, and shocking toll booth attendants. Youtube: Click Here Email us at childproofmail@gmail.com with your ideas, suggestions, or chaotic good parenting choices....

Mar 05, 202546 min

Howdy Y’all Email Round Up

This week we hit the inbox for your emails. Which means we are all over the place. We touch on parenting through an age gap, losing the game (iykyk), weedwhackers & whippersnappers, imagination hour, cold weather whining and so much more. If you’d like to be included in a future episode please email us at Childproofmail@gmail.com and you could hear your ideas on the podcast. Youtube: Click Here...

Feb 26, 202545 min

Mom Brains

Moms do a lot of different jobs. Chef, Nurse, Event Planner, Administrative Assistant, Teacher. Some folks call this wearing different hats. We think it’s more like having different brains. We have to switch from mom brain to mom brain and sometimes that’s hard. Sometimes it’s impossible. Sometimes we struggle. On this episode we discuss why that is and ways to make switching modes just a little easier. Youtube: Click Here...

Feb 19, 202542 min

Empathetically Angry

Empathy is a learned skill and you can start teaching at day zero. Our kids are more capable of empathy and understanding than we tend to think. This episode of the Childproof Podcast tackles empathy: what it is, how we teach it, and how to use it safely. Can you get empathetically burnt out? (Spoiler: Yeah) How do you set boundaries on empathy so you don’t wreck your own mental health? (Spoiler: Breaks) Also Gwenna is crocheting a blanket now and Tori talks about the Stamp Act Riots. And no. We...

Feb 12, 202546 min

Back To Routine

Gwenna and Tori are back this week! What even happened? Tori and Gwenna discuss everything that happened on their break, from why they had a break to how many kids were sick. They also revisit the routines they have been trying to establish and introduce a new segment, "Hyperfixation of the Week". Tori talks about Hamilton at least twice. To watch on YouTube: Click HERE

Feb 05, 202538 min

Not Goodbye, But See You Soon (And You'll See Us)

This week, Gwenna and Tori share some sad - but ultimately exciting - news. Childproof is parting ways with Betches Media, but the show lives on! We're going on a short break for the holidays, and to get situated, but there will be a new episode dropping in January. Plus, all future episodes will be going up on YouTube as well, along with a ton of exciting video content on both of our channels! Stay subscribed right here for the audio version, and make sure you're following us on all social medi...

Dec 25, 202414 min

Sibling Math & Tooth Fairy Lore

Context matters when you want to call your brother a Silly Pumpkin Doo-Doo Head. This week, Gwenna and Tori discuss the complexities of sibling dynamics with your kids, from fairness in gift giving, to baby tooth envy, and how to explain when name calling crosses the boundary from playful to mean. They compare notes on what to do when your kids are fighting, how to foster each of their individual personalities, and what makes a meaningful apology. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphon...

Dec 18, 202443 min

Elf On A Shelf, Sensory Santa, & Letting Go Of Mom Guilt

Have a melancholy Christmas, it is…a time of year. This week, Gwenna and Tori share their struggle to get into the holiday spirit, and the way they're living vicariously through their kids' joy. They unpack the feeling of inadequacy wrapped up in Elf on a Shelf, the unrealistic expectations that social media sets us up for, and quality over quantity when it comes to gifts for your kids. Sometimes, the simplest family traditions can make this time of year the most special, and it's ok to let go o...

Dec 11, 202444 min

The Ultimate Mom Gift Guide

Sometimes, you just have to push through the discomfort and get really specific. This week, Gwenna and Tori discuss what moms actually want for the holidays, how to give a truly thoughtful gift that won't break the bank, and demystifying the idea that you are "hard to shop for." Don't forget to think about yourself for once - after all, if you don't know what you want, how is anyone else supposed to figure it out? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dec 04, 202437 min

Talking To The Turkey And Crying

It’s always parenting on hard mode when you’re parenting anywhere else but home territory. This week, Gwenna and Tori share their ultimate Thanksgiving food rankings for both eating and cooking, and Gwenna vents about the nightmare of holiday house hopping. Then, they share some helpful tips for ways that child-free people hosting Thanksgiving can prepare their house for young kids (consider the forbidden spaghetti and cover your sockets), and tips for parents who are worried about how their kid...

Nov 27, 202442 min

In the Eye Of The Hurricane, We Regulate

Your best is still your best when you don't have as much to give. This week, Gwenna and Tori talk all about emotions, what to do with them, and how to feel your feelings without making them everyone else's problem. They get into their coping mechanisms, how to teach your kids about processing their emotions, and the ways we co-regulate with other adults both IRL and online. Whether your head hurts or your heart hurts, you deserve to feel better. Email us at childproof@betches.com to let us know ...

Nov 20, 202446 min

You Win, But I Get To Be Right Next Time

Good parents never stop thinking they’re doing a bad job; bad parents never stop to wonder if they’re doing a good one. This week, Gwenna and Tori turn to the Childproof inbox to read your emails, and share some thoughts of their own. Much to Gwenna's dismay, it turns out Surge *did* have a short-lived revival. And much to Tori's dismay, the debate about what part of NY is actually Upstate appears to be never-ending. They cover everything from the very relatable fear of messing up your kids, to ...

Nov 13, 202444 min
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