Welcome River Scott - Chewing The Cud - S06E04

You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Beny and Rowe and River Scott. It wasn't untili a scream, but I realized that not everything is a dildo, even if you're brave enough. Oh Hello, you're watching Chewing the Cud. You're lighthearted weekly look through the slightly glittery kaleidoscope. I'm Mike Benning Rowe and with me today is someone who really is here with full consent. It's River Scott. Hello. Hello, how are you doing.

I'm all right, thank you, and yes I am consenting to be here.

And it's verbal and consistent.

An enthusiastic at this point, which is good.

Yeah. So what have you got for us this week?

Well, I'm going to bring you a story about White Load to Stars next project, and then we're going to play a little game.

But that won't get you all upper clothes and personal with River in spot like but on screen now you can see the contact details. It's at the coud TV on your social media and if you want to catch up with us on previous episodes, you can binge us on YouTube. Just look for Chewing the Cut.

You can see the names of people who have reached out and touched our souls running along the bottom of the screen right now, But now it's time for Mike in the buzz.

Have you been keeping safe in the recent uncle in clement weather.

Yes, I stayed indoors. That's always a good dance pretty much. It just didn't get out of bed unless I absolutely had to. Okay, the best way. I think that's the.

Best way of getting through life. Well, storm ewing that's been blowing sounds sexy.

When you say like that.

It does sound.

It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not the kind of blowing.

It's just damp and cold.

We've dated the same person, obviously. Well, it's been leaving people baffled as a mysterious white dust has appeared after it's.

Been gosh, how exciting exactly.

So, as it's been blowing up and down the country, a white dust has appeared and people have been trying to work out what it is.

So there's a white dust. So there's white dust and blow up and down the country.

Yes, So what do you think it could be?

You put me on the spot. There there's only one answer, and it's not what I want to give on national television.

I'm sure powdered seemen is fine.

Well that maybe has there been an explosion in a powdered milk factory. Could it be a big cloud of sma just drifting up and down like formula, up and down the country. We're all going to get slightly more calcium than usual. That'd be quite nice, yeah, I suppose so.

Or there's some people risking it, shall we say so? Some people pop the fingers through right, getting it a little bit of a lick, if you get a tingle exactly rubbing on the gums. Turns out it was sea salt, right, So it's been basically wafting up the whipping up the sea, and as the water evaporated, it took salt with it and it just deposited on people's cows.

So a salty drift, A salty drift, nationwide, salty drift, salty drift. Well, I suppose if nothing else, at least British food had taste a bit nicer for a little while, because it'll be have some flavor to it. We're famous for bland foodn't.

But then also the problem with that is that people like myself who are on low sodium diets that could kill me.

Oh that's true. Yeah, another reason to stay in bed exactly.

Indeed, stay in bed, my brother going outside, Why you risk.

It to avoid all white powders stay in bed.

Exactly, or to lick them as they were people were trying it.

Yeah, I suppose that's the scientific method, all right, Yeah.

I better than racking up a line of it, I suppose.

I mean, can you snort salt? Probably not.

You can snort anything, but once whether rat poison, you can snort, just don't.

It's not for me.

Not for me, no, no, me, neither. But moving on the Olympics. Oh yes, all that time ago.

Are we going to talk about that high jumper again. I've got that on slow. It's my screensaver. It's fantastic when people ring me.

Now it pops upon the screen.

I'm very sore. I just keep looking at it. But anyway, he apparently I did feel bad for the for the guy that won the gold medal, because I'm.

Like, no one's gonna remember, Yeah.

Well done on your gold medal and your tiny, tiny penis or anyway not erect.

I think there is a bit of a trend.

Actually, this isn't what we're going to talk about, but I'm I'm happy to talk. It's a little bit of a little bit of a trend of ex Olympic athletes or people who are coming to the end of their

They famously put cardboard beds out to stop people shagging.

I mean that doesn't seem like a very French approach, because I mean I've known many frenchmen and not many of them needed a bed, like they are just something to hang on to.

Good Lord who said romance is dead, but storry about the Olympic medals, specifically the gold ones. As to put it bluntly, they're forward a bits.

Yeah, yeah, standards are slipping.

Very very slippy. So LVMH who are the designer? I've gone nothing to do with us. We designed it right. It's actually the Prisian mint.

Okay, which sounds like something you'd pop after a galois and a coffee and an espresso, but not that one.

The people that make the coins for the money and the spending.

Oh right, yes they still use coins.

How retro papers? What's it? Notes? Paper notes? Paper notes to be grand here, but the return them all because the eu bann are chemical right right to basically stop cancer, which meant that the varnish on the medals wasn't very protective.

How much cancer can you get from a from an Olympic gold made?

Well? People tend to bite it, don't they? Oh?

I see, So it's that whole biting and it's it's you have to do it a lot, don't you. Anytime someone takes picions and doing an interview. Each time it's.

Not chocolate, don't bother not gonna get a chocolate with?

Why do they? Oh? It's because it's to test the purity, isn't it Because white so.

Soft, so you should be able to leave teeth prints in pure gold. But then but they're not pure gold.

And also even if it was pure gold and someone said, oh, bite it so we can check, and like, no, you saw me win, I'm keeping it looking nice. Why do I want to put my teeth marks into something that is amazing? You don't go too in a trophy?

Well, so I put teeth marks on something amazing. I mean we all the answer to that one.

We're all back to that hold on for again.

Yeah. Yeah, And if you've got something you want to bite into, why not share that with us? We're at the cod TV on social media and that brings us nicely to our story of the week. Have you ever been on a cruise? Not cruising a cruise?

No. I I like to be able to leave a party. And I know you get your own room, so it's not like you have to like be in a big dormitory all that. That does sound fun, but yeah, but I liked I like to be able to go away and recharge my batteries and come back again. And I think I feel like on a cruise you're stuck with them. And that's a recipe for squirty murder. Squirty murder, Yeah, they really fun kind. It's just like a cocktail. You I'll have a sex on the beach in a squirty murder.

Anyway, So I don't want to go on a cruise because a bit like being trapped in the same place. But I like to go out and explore and do things, and so just being on a.

Boat, you could explore other people's cabins and do things, but.

It's chafing exactly, you know, it's the motion of the ocean might put you off.

Also, I don't know if I get seasick, and I feel like spending thousands of pounds on a two week chance to find out. It's not the best use of money to.

Get ferry over to France first to see if he gets seasick on an hour ferry. Anyway, there's been a TikTok like viral video about when they have an ice cream party on a cruise ship.

Is that an euphemism?

No, No, it's right, lots of ice cream, free ice cream have lots of ice cream.

So is that then just lots of TikTok influencers sitting there having horrible headaches for a few minutes. Yes, excellent, I like that. More influences should be in pain.

Exactly that. But the reason they've come out and take the reason why is because if there's a death on board, they need to put the body somewhere cold, and so they put it in the ice cream.

Freezer, do they? I mean those ships are massive, do they not have like a body cupboard dead? That's the technical term.

Yeah. Yeah, So captains on the cruise ships have come out and gone, that's bullshit. If we're having ice cream parties, because we've planned an ice cream party.

Yeah, and also you would need to have a lot of ice cream to do that, exactly.

Yeah. The reason you die, no, no, she's she's one of the influences that is spreading this myth.

Yea tedious.

So yeah, basically they're having an ice cream party because they're throwing an ice cream party. If someone dies, they'll put them in the morgue, right, which is at the bottom of the boat, out of the way, nice and cold. Yeah, so keep them fresh like the Saladra.

I remember there was that story about if you die on on a plane, they put you in first class and put a sleep mask on you and just leave you there until you get around.

Yeah. Up, great, isn't it? Yeah? I need to be upgraded by I'm about to die.

Yeah, I'm having a heart attack. Could you move me to first class and just pop a sleep mask on me? Gin and Tonic in one hand.

I might try that. I'm going away in a bit. Can I be upgraded? I've got a dodgy tick. I might need to die.

I mean they'll take one like it you get? Oh shit, yeah, come on.

Make sure I'm not like you. Sure it's not already happened?

Is it contagious because the rich people don't want it? Yeah?

Right, don't be mean. But that's all for the buzz this week.

Thanks Mike. Always good to know that if I'm feeling seasick, I can indulge in a ridiculous amount of dairy products that can only possibly make things better.

Really A shit? You not? You're welcome. Stick right there, because come up after this short break, we're going to get all to date with celebrity news in the show. BIS. Welcome back, and you're watching you in the cud. This is the part of the show where we're looking to the sparkly side of the world of celebrity and media in the show biz with River.

Leo Woodhall of White Lotus fame. Anyway, he's in a new show. It's called Prime Focus, and it's about a Cambridge student, postgraduate, clever person doing lots of maths and stuff, and he's a big wolf. He's playing a big wolf called Edward Brook. That's him quite pretty. You wouldn't kick him out of bed for doing calculus, would.

You, Well, it depends what calculus is really is.

Well, yeah, I mean he could quadratic my equations and that's that's the only reference I can make.

So I'm showing my pythig.

The square of my hyphpotter. News is he called to the some of everyone else's square? Anyway, This pretty young man is playing alongside non binary trinket star Quintessa Swindell, which is a lovely thing to say. I'm not sure what it means because I didn't watch trinkets, but never mind. There he is with the correct amount of clothing.

Well, delightful, you say correct amount of clothing A little bit too much?

A better amount of clothing, certainly, and so his character is queer and in a relationship with a lovely young man called Adam played by Fraffy, which I always want to say froffee. It comes out sound like frothy.

It sounds like I'm going to Starbucks, So froffy coffee.

I mean, I'd have a free coffee. He's gorgeous. It's quite pretty anyway. Yeah, so this is this is the star of this new queer not really queer, though he's playing a queer character. But in interviews he generally just says, oh, it doesn't really come up much. It's just he has a boyfriend, all right.

So he's just a mask who's gay.

Yeah, yeah, he's he's a gay nerd, which is good. We love a hot gay nerd, do love.

I wonder whether the real one was actually hot, whether they've beautified in Hollywood.

I was going to say, I don't know many maths postgrads who have bodies like that. But I don't know many maths postgrads because I'm not that clever and I don't have many friends. Okay, which is probably anyway. This show Prime Focus was created by Sherlock and Doctor Who writer Steve Thompson. Okay cool and yeah, so it's it's got some kind of there's some some queerish stuff in there, like doctor who's gone a bit gay.

It's very good.

It's always been a bit gay, been a bit camp. Yeah, and it's got much worse, well, not worse, it's got more a lot better. I mean you could run around in his pants a bit more. It was nice. And did you watch the regeneration. Yeah, we could have more of that.

We could have a lot more.

Yeah, that would be like anyway, we're not here to talk about doctor.

Talk about getting the top off as well.

Yeah, and so the show this prime focus. It's kind of a bit of a spy, kind of like espionage, kind of explosions, running down corridors, that kind of thing.

It might be a James Bond.

Yeah, kind of a bit gay, a bit James Bondy, a bit nerdy and he gets his tits out. So jobs are good and really.

Win win win, tick tick.

Yeah. Anyway, crashing on, You're a vision this year, You are a vision delightful in Eure Song contest. Yeah, I'm a song anyway. Eurovision this year is in Basil, Basil, Bizill.

Well, well, Bazzles the herb that goes in Italian food.

Yeah, I don't believe it's smell basil.

Yeah. Sorry, the gallery is saying Germany. Just let's look at the flag in the heart oh Switzerland? Yeah yeah yeah. As geography, yeah yeah, geography, it's flags.

I know, it's very nice as a flag thing goes. Anyway, X Factor do you watch? Are you are you? Are you follow?

I watched originally when it first started, went oh, this is the same as all the other ones, and I want X Factor forty nine now fifty two. Anyway, it's just Simon Carroll when I want more money.

Yeah, I mean maybe he just wants to be able to afford to get whatever he did to his face fixed.

I think he paid for that. Oh I know. I think he went, yes, i'll have that, please.

God. Imagine waking up and seeing that that's what's happened to your face, going yes, that's good. Here is the money.

I think he paid in advance.

Oh you would have well yeah, Turkey anyway, anyway, X Factor getting distracted by uh, whatever that is on his face. X Factor finalist Rebecca Ferguson do you know her?

I'm aware of her work? Not a massive fan.

No, there she is. Oh, yeah, I mean here she is doing? Yeah, all right, you say so, I like.

I thought she's relating a microphone.

Less anyway, She apparently has been offered by other countries to go and be part of their Eurovision entry, which seems like cheating. Why It's like, aren't they supposed to be from their own country?

Not really let Australia into the Eurovision song contest.

Yeah, but Kylie May she bless us with life and biodegradable.

Glue's not dead.

She'll live forever in our hearts. I mean she's no share share is going to live for ever.

Oh, has no choice but to live.

Well, that's true.

Tell your soul, you get what you're given. Anyway.

Yeah, apparently this is the weird bit of this story. Someone jumped on a live stream with her to ask the question are you going to be in Eurovision? And her response was no, one's messaged me to do it. But what's really interesting, I've had other offers from other countries, which sounds a little bit cryptic.

I've had other offers from other countries.

Yeah, I mean that's the kind of thing you say when you're looking. When she wants to be the Eurovision person. Oh, I've got lots of offers, but I'd rather do it for you. If you want to offer it for me, here's your chance. Let me ever go full in No One Love exactly.

She actually did sing at Eurovision when it was in Liverpool.

I sang at Eurovision TV.

Oh, she was paid to do it. But no. When Liverpool hosts for Ukraine craning the singer up and because she's from Liverpool, she was in town. She went, oh sing as well, So they did a duet.

That's nice. Yeah, I mean.

Good for her, good for gets her through. Yeah.

And but she said she's not taking up any of these many many offers from other company countries because she wants to do it for the UK. So it's very patriotic and suspiciously hard to prove otherwise, isn't it.

I'm sorry, this is just like me on dating profiles, like you've seen many guys, Yeah, a couple.

Hell. I love it when people say like, I mean, they won't be like offensive looking, but they'll be like ripped muscular guys to the front of the queue. And I'm like, cue, come on, babes.

Look, if you put yourself in a post office on a Wednesday. There's a queue a pension. But still there's a queue. It's a queue less I know.

Any anyway, Matt Boemer important to pronounce that one. He is voicing the audiobook version, the tenth anniversary audiobook version, Special Edition, kind of thing of a little life, you know, the kind of queer saga thing. There he is with his silly mustache.

It's so pretty and.

It does look like he's in the middle of something in that second photo. But never mind, I'll give them a hand. So, yeah, the book. Have you read it?

I've not read it?

No, I mean it's a brick? Is is it? Humans?

Okay?

Yeah, anyway, it follows four friends living in New York, Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha and carry, tracing them from their post college days into their fifties. So yeah, just like that, he's done.

A lot of She was seventy five in that though, wasn't she? Surely it's have you wa? I can't watch it? I want now episode weird? Na? This is this is weird?

Yeah, it's all anyway, This isn't Sex and the City or that. This is something else. Apparently it's quite harrowing. Okay, never mind, anyway, let's talk more about Pretty Boy. He was in Fellow Travelers. He's been in the Boys in the Band. I love that, haven't all I've been, but that's it. And he was in Will and Graces apparently as well. But that must have been the reboot, new version because I haven't seen it.

But never mind, it was Will's boyfriend, I believe, all right.

Why not?

Yeah? Sure?

So. He says he was truly deeply moved to be asked to read Hanya's brilliant, heartbreaking and timeless novel. And I think I'd be truly deeply moved if I was asked to if I was paid to do anything like that, really pay me, Yeah, truly deeply moved by the large amount of money that they chocked me to, I'd like to.

Be truly deeply moved.

By Yeah, very balls deeply, just like really kind of elbow deep. Oh it's happening again. I'm sorry. Anyway. He went on to say, It's a book that I've been fascinated with since I first heard about it, and having the opportunity to bring these characters to life was both a profound responsibility for me and a chance to fall in love with her work all over again, which is very pr isn't it? Like, yeah, yeah, here are some words, go away badies.

Yeah, and then I thought it was great. Is the check in the bank?

Yeah?

Because also the book's a brick.

It's like eight hundred pages long. Okay, the audio book thirty eight hours.

That's a week.

That is a week. You could sit down at your desk start at nine am Monday morning and you'd finish it at clocking off time. Mental late, but.

Well hours I work, I'd probably fish about Wednesday.

I'd never finish it. I get bored. I think I get bored of having one voice in my ear for thirty eight hours as well.

Yeah I think that killed me too.

Yeah, but I don't read when they do it. When they do like an Instagram reels version, I'll or I'll put it on double speed on YouTube or something. But even then that's fun with audiobooks. Yeah, it's like the chipmox are reading to you. Love it anyway. He's pretty, but you only get to hear his voice. You don't get to see anything else. So a bit of a shame. I have my mind wasted opportunity. Really anyway, that's all from the showbiz this week.

Thanks for that. River. Always nice to know that I'm not the only person that has a slight fancy about Matt Bumma.

You are welcome, but don't go anywhere. As coming up, we're going to have a game for you to play along with in our game of the week.

Welcome back to Cheering the cud with Me, Mike, Ben and Rowe and then River Scott. I know it's that part of the show where we play a little game and this is the first time that they're doing this, So good luck and off your pop. Thank you day of the week. So this week we're going to play myth or no myth, and that's what is for River to ask me the questions and if to try and work out whether it's a big fat, hairy light or completely true. Are you ready?

Yeah, let's go for it.

I would like one from the top.

Please, certainly I can give you. I can give you one from a top?

Is this true?

Ants don't sleep?

Okay? I do know how you can gender an ant. It's not an in water, right, and it sinks, it's a girl, and and if it floats it's a buoyant.

That's a funny joke.

Okay, yeah, what was the question again? I got distracted by my funny ants?

Do they sleep.

Only when they're not on the clock.

You're saying ants have a very good work ethic, Well they have work at ants done? Do you ants sleep?

Jesus? I don't think Jesus can answer the question. Can you don't have stickmak It's not me. I don't know anymore. Yes, no, no, no no.

That your final answer. You're locking it in. Yes, all right now, ants don't sleep? That's correct, Well.

Done, I'll done me, that's what I'll have. A big bottom, please.

A big bottom. Oh, we're going to go with this one, big bottom right in the middle. After his death in two thousand and five, the ashes of US writer Hunter S. Thompson Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, et cetera, were fired from one hundred and fifty foot cannon, which is what he asked for in his will. Is that true or false?

I love people who put ridiculous requests in their wills, and one of them I think that's true.

That is actually true. Yeah, Hunter S. Thompson was fired out of a cannon. Well, his ashes were fired from a cannon, So well done. There you're two for two.

Hey, I'm cleverly see screaming missushigebotb mountain right next one? I would like top? Right?

Please? Is this true or false? Birds can't sing when they're on the ground?

Is that euphemism?

Not? As far as I'm aware, what.

You to and I'll watch them on the ground. I can't sing when they're on the ground.

Can birds sing when they're on the ground, yes, they can, correct, they don't, but they can they choose not to.

They choose not to. I don't want to sing down here, it's on that brunch. Why why can't birds? No? I can't accept that.

That is correct? Birds can sing when they're on the ground. That's a silly one. So well done. There you are three for three top or bottom, which is very it's very reductive, there isn't it?

But technically burst on what I'm in the mood.

For right now? Or or bottom?

I'm in the mood for a top, right, you can tell it?

Not on?

You are?

You are getting a good hard top? Here we go? Do you want a hard one?

I would like a hard one?

All right. Einstein's brain was removed after death, and that is actually true. Yeah, right, that wasn't a hard one. We all know that story, right, We're gonna do another one from the top. You're getting another top because the first top wasn't good enough and we've all been there my life. Yeah, exhausting when you get through two or three of them and they're all just not worthy opponents.

That's false.

It is false, but it was propaganda put about by whoever didn't like her. Yeah, she was supposed to be performing on holy acts with said horse, so she.

Had that many sexual partners while being Czarina that people started saying, oh, should show a horse, and that's how I.

Can and that that she'd been ruined for all men because they just weren't They just weren't touching the sides, space.

The sides, which isn't which isn't.

True, which is not true. So it does, it does. It does make me think I need to call him, but that's another story, you know, and share his number with me. Can I have just his number? I mean there's room for both of us, I'm sure.

Can I have middle bottom police.

You can have middle bottom. Giant clams have been known to trap divers and drown them.

Whether you can drown someone with your clam.

Yeah, can you dry and drown someone with a giant clam?

Well, probably experience. I wouldn't know that. I would say that a giant calm would trap a diver.

When they if you think like pearl divers, when they like swim down to grab their pearls, could you have a clam going, oh, yeah, come get it, Come look at the size of my pearl, Come grab my pearl, and then grab hold of their arms because you wouldn't need to hang on them for very long to drown them because they're quite low down.

Also, that a clam, so you could just swim up with it attached to your arm.

Quite heavy. I think the giant ones depends how giant a giant clam is.

That I don't think. I'm not thinking like it's going to be this sort of size.

Well, there was that one with the woman standing.

In it that was a painting.

Yeah, of well, it's only because they didn't have photographs back then. That to paint it.

Doesn't necessarily mean it's true. If it's a painting.

Well a giant. Sorry, No you can't. I can't have that conversation on there, all right, because no one can hear what I'm saying, all right. So so you're saying no, then.

I'm saying no. They can't trap a person till the drug.

That is correct. Well done, you're doing very well on this. You're five to five right now.

Can we send this to missus Higgan bottom? Please?

Do you want to do another one? Or have you had enough? No?

I need to do another one, all right? Not want to need to?

Do you want another top or another bottom?

I will let you decide.

Oh, much like in any other situation, I'm just happy to be involved. So I'm going to go. I'm going to give you a mid top. Sorry. In nineteen eighty five, a woman in Ohio was killed on the way to her one hundredth birthday party as she was run over by the van delivering her cake. Run over, run over by the van delivering the cake to her birthday party that she was on the way to. It was one hundredth birthday party.

So if she's one hundred, we're assuming that she's not very mobile.

I mean, some people, some people stay quite active into their into their twilight years.

Yeah, but I'm thinking if I was in front of a speeding van as a youngster, I could move out quite quickly. Now I'll go, I'll it.

Me that's true. So yeah, would she be able to move out the way fast enough and it wouldn't need to hit her hard because she's old and frail?

Lally blown down by a stiff breeze, I say, not true.

Correct, that is not true, although it is quite funny, so part of me wishes it was. But that seems like a horrible thing to wish. So never mind, Well, wish for worst. Let's give you another bottom. Let's keep this, let's keep the sequel. Until nineteen seventy two, only people who owned property were eligible to sit on a jury in a British court.

True or false, nineteen seventy two.

Nineteen seventy two was the year that I just said. Yes, I'm not saying if that's the right year. I'm saying that that is the year that's on the card.

False, it is true.

Hah, all right, hooray, I just I just wanted to them all. Yeah, that was all right. Next one, there are more London streets named after Queen Victoria than any other person.

I don't think that's true.

It is in fact true.

Okay, I've got part of think of the men London streets that I know to be fair sovious. Completely.

Yes, I have a story about street names Victorianism. There's a there's a street in the theater Land district of London, a shafts revenue kind of way. There's a very small kind of alleyway street called Grape Street, which is what it says on the nice little sign at the top of the street. That is what the Victorians called it

Let's get less one that, all right?

One more? The black box recorder in an aircraft orange it is orange? True, all right, that's the question. I geeked well done so that you've got eight out of you've got seven out of eight or eight out of nine. Oh no, it's not counting, but you did really, really well so well done. That was probably about what eighty percent correct. That's not bad at all.

That's better than I normally it performed to be fair, so that's always good. But coming up after this short break, we're going to get all interpersonal with River in Spotlight. Welcome back, and you're still watching Mic and River and chewing the cud. Now we've warmed up nicely and even made a few dick jokes, so now it's time to get into things deeply with River in Spotlight. So you've been here for a little while now, Yes, we've got to know you a little bit. Who is River? Who are they? River?

Is me? I are River?

I a river? I ah? So you're not just a person that comes on TV.

I'll come on anything. Yeah. I am a writer, a podcaster, all that kind of thing. Usually I say I'm a storyteller. But it sounds really wanky, doesn't it.

I tell, do you work in marketing?

I used to work in mine.

There we go.

That's why it made me want to kill everyone and myself in that order.

So podcasts, there's a lot of people do podcasts.

They do, don't they It's quite frustrating. Actually, lots of other people do podcasts, because I'd rather everyone didn't and then they'd all listen to mine. That'd be lovely.

Do you just just host podcasts?

I host them, I edit them. I do all the things. But the one that I that I do most is mine, where I sit in a cupboard not quite as nice as your studio here, and which is also a cupboard, but it's a nice cupboard, and I basically tell myself not jokes. If you think of it, it's called probably

Say you just got rid of the show.

So there's just a lot of dick jokes. Is that where it is? And I like to like have a takeaway a learning so it might be something like, oh, I went to the sauna, recently and was banging away, but a really hot guy didn't want to shag me. And he was the only one that I remember from that whole thing, And it got me thinking about how we focus on the negatives rather than the positives or shit like that.

Okay, so a little bit like my eighties cartoons.

What kind of eighties cartoons were you watching? Like?

ThunderCats was always like going. They had a story and then they had a little lesson at the end.

Yeah, story that kind of thing. Only not as gay as the thunder.

Nothing can be as gay as.

Slightly less gay, I imagine. I mean, I did watch the thunder Cats a lot when I was little, so I wonder if they kind of helped with the awakening. Who was your favorite? You see?

Panther was kind of my go to.

The big muscly black guy fair enough, but.

Also Mumra Mamrammra went all proper evil.

Oh yeah, I actually I actually did the I was talking about. It was my birthday last year. I actually was talking to some of my D and D friends one of our games, talking about how I was going to do the Mumrah thing, and I did the little ancient spirits of evil speech, and they all looked at me like, what are you want about? And that's when I remember that I'm really old and that my D and D friends are all in their twenties and have no idea about the ThunderCats or Mumrah or any of that.

It's a shame. I was talking to people at work about the Power Rangers, thinking I was being, you know, younger than I am, and then they turn around and thought about it and was talking about two very different shows because now there's only three Power Rangers.

Well, and in this economy, it's just.

All confusing Power Ranges Ninja possible?

What Now?

Where's the floating head? Is the jar anyway in the camp robot?

And then yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that's what you need.

Yes, back to you, Yes, back to me, back to you. I don't know, I got distracted by my youth.

Sorry, carry on.

And so you podcast very much to teach them as they as they enjoy sort of thing.

Yeah, it's more about it's a lot of it is kind of me being the person that I wish i'd had around to kind of teach me these things about quick culture and all that kind of wang.

When I first started coming out onto the scene. I had an elder gay called Alan who was in his sixties and would teach you about douching. And this is pretty google obviously, so that's kind of.

Idea that, yeah, that sort of thing. There's an episode on Douche. Yeah, don't remind people that bomholes aren't just for sex. Sometimes they're for pooh as well, And it's important, unless very clearly stated, not to get those two things overlapping. Some people are into that kind of thing, but I pity their bed sheets. Basically, there's a lot of work to clean that up. I wouldn't know anyway. So it's about it's about teaching people a little bit. It's also

Podcast, just the word out, very script.

Knob knob. So I did them as podcasts and kind of got it out there because I was really bored by all of the queer content that was out there because none of it represented me. It was all very kind of sterile and yeah, and very kind of like gays are lovable and fluffy and we deserve just the same amount as everyone else. We're great, aren't we great? I know that kind of thing, And I was just like.

Like, yes we are, but let's talk about fisting.

Yeah, yes, we are all great, and sometimes we look like to go and make friends in a park or in the sauna or in the showers at the gym. And they don't talk about that on the fluffy wholesome podcast YouTube channels because they want all their advertisers to hang around. So I decided that I wanted to do something that wouldn't make any money but would take over my life. So here I am.

I know that feeling you're watching it.

You look delightful, isn't it okay?

Cool? So we have we have the jar of Joy yes, okay, which is just it's it's a choice. I choose joy, jar of joy. Just a bunch of questions, okay, this is called lazy presenting.

Am I under oath?

You're not under oath? You can life you wish to, but we'll know. Would you rather? Yes, have one nipple or two belly buttons? Deep intellectual questions.

If I had one nipple, would it be on the side or would it be central? And if I had two belly buttons, would they be either side? How would they be aligned?

I think nipple and where the belly button was?

Oh interesting, and that sort of idea.

And then two belly buttons where the nipples will be.

But that doesn't work because you said stop yeah, but you didn't say would I because then that that you're assuming I'm having both. Whereas the question is do I want one nipple or two belly buns? And if I have one.

Nipple, okay, it's just in the center there, just right in the center between both.

For the nipple and the belly buttons.

Belly buttons similar sort of area, right, would they move? Well, if you move your arm and it's attached to you, so they do move.

I'm exploring my options, I want to give them. I'm wanting to make sure I have all the information before I make my choice. I'd probably go for one nipple because I think that'd be kind of weird and I'd like that, and also like my nipples don't do anything for me, so it'll be and it will be fun like watching people go up here and then like for having to feel around for them o the say, ah, fooled you. I'd like that.

Two belly ones just a fluff, lot of maintenance.

A lot of but then extra place for the jis to collect, so that's nice.

So if we were to find you on social media, where could we find you?

Well, that is quite an interesting question at the moment because everything's gone a bit nazi. I am on all of them, okay, but I'm trying to move away from the slightly worse ones. But yeah, if you search River Scott you'll probably find me. I'm River does things on Instamogram. In fact, I've got two profiles on most of them, like River Scott on Blue Sky and no just on Blue Sky. Now River does things on Instamogram. Those are my classy ones, okay. And then there's also the tits out,

Really, okay. And is that on the fans that are only there?

There are there are some only fans, yes, yeah, which doesn't really I've only got like three followers, and I'm fairly certain one of them is my mum. She's very supportive, supportive, but it does put you off your stride when like the top comment on the live cam is like your dinner's on the table.

But or the following lad a going oh we used to do that as a kid.

Yeah, oh just like your dad. But I do like a challenging wank, so why not. Yeah, So all of that is out there if you want to, you know, help me pay some bills. Why not. The podcast is on all of the podcasting places. There's even a YouTube vision now, but it's not very good because it's just me talking to a camera. And like I say, video editing is hard, and whoever does this does a much better job than I do of mine.

So you know, we pay them. Well, we don't put We've got them type. Absolutely got no choice.

I thought he looked a bit gimpy when I'm tim early I blessed him.

So we would love to have you come on again. Would you be up for that?

I suppose yeah, why not? It counts towards community service, I think it does it? Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah definitely yeah.

Well, thank you very much for that. River.

So that's almost the end of the show for now. But on your screen you can see our contact details. It's at the cud TV on your social media's and if you want to catch upon previous episodes then you can always find us on the youtubes. Just look for Chewing the Cud.

Thank you for watching and we'll see you also. Bye, okay, thank you