We Welcome Zöe - Chewing The Cud - S05E37

You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Bennying Roe and Zoe Clegg.

Oh no, it's a naked sock puppet. Oh hello, you're watching Chewing a Cud your weakly lighthearted look through a slightly glittery leidoscope. I'm Mike Benning Rowe and with me today we welcome a new friend, yes, a special friend, and that's Zoe Clegg.

Hello.

Hello, how are you doing?

I'm all right, thank you?

How are you? I'm okay. You made a comment before the show, so we started recording, which was about my outfit and what was that?

Zoe's it's postman patche it's giving royal mail.

Yeah, no one has to see my black and white pussy. But what have you got for us this week?

I'm bringing your story about inspirational trans storyline before we play a game, and.

That's before we get all up close and personal with Zoe and Spotlight. But on screen now you can see how contact details. It's at the Cud TV on your social media channels, and if you want to catch up with previous episodes, you can always give us a good binge on YouTube. Just look for Chewing the Cud.

You can see the names of the people who've reached out and touched our souls, going along the bottom of the screen. And now it's time to get up to date on the things you may have missed from the news in the buzz.

Did you ever go to university? Did what did you study? Oh?

The delightful world of culinary arts?

Food?

Yeah, food, just at a lot, Yeah, at a lot.

Made a point of drinking a lot to wash it down, obviously, hopefully exactly.

You've got to make sure you lubricated. Of course as a student. Well, did you have to go into the library a lot?

Oh, all the time?

Okay, because Lipscomb University in Nash Film, which I love the names of the university Lipum, It's a bit of posh name for a pepper. They have had to basically stop people taking them books out as they were killing students. The books were killing killing students. Tell me more proof that education is bad for you.

Don't read box kids.

Yeah, poisonous. So it's books that are over one hundred years old, right, that had chemicals in the in the brightly colored like pages and stuff hallcinogenic ink moment, Well, what nick that was in the pages to make nice bright green colors.

Yikes.

Yeah. So the way that they've dealt with this is they contacted the CTC, which is the American.

Health Disease Control Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The people in America went, oh, COVID is quite bad in it. What do we do?

What do we do?

Let's the let's ask the president. Oh dear, they said, put them in ziplot bags will be fine.

The solution to deadly chemicals ziplock and in university books which people are going to want to get out and read understandably, is zip block bags. Like, are we talking special books.

No, we're talking zip because get down to us to get yourself a couple of hundred if you're right right. So, yeah, that's how they got around it. So now these books are in zip bags, they can't be withdrawn.

It's completely unreadonable, unreadable, unreadable.

While they look for solutions to fix the dyes and things, they said, just put them they'll be fine.

Who knew, Like, we could have completely subverted COVID by just putting ourselves in bags this entire time.

There's a problem with that, which is a lack of air in a zip lock bag. No, that doesn't so right, Yeah, it's like, why did all these people die from COVID? No? Is it loot bags?

Yeah, cod.

That's how it happened. Well, let's move away from something quite scary as dangerous killer books to something slightly weird.

We love something slightly weird.

I'm going to ask a very personal question. First, do you the odrant? Yes?

Claily?

Do you believe that's a personal item?

I would say so. I would say it's not something I would share with anyone and.

Everyone, now, anyone, full stop, anyone. Now, Well, this is for a lady in America again, Americans who goes by the TikTok name of missus mom, missus mom, missus.

Mom, the you know, formally single mom. Imagine that was quite a different life.

Having read some of her posts, I don't think she would have had premarital.

Getting a ring on it.

One of the square States in the Middle kind of people, Ah wow, one of those who basically went on the Internet to ask a question to solve a marital dispute she was having, which was do you share the odran?

Absolutely not? What a heinous crime, she.

Didn't think so. She thought it was the most sensible thing in the world to do, which was have a family deodrant familiarald children, not just so, her husband, her son, and her daughter. Son and daughter are both teenagers. Ah, all were sharing the same deodrance.

I hope it was it an air asolate least no all not all ones.

We wasn't even a role. It was one of those sticky, gooey ones. So yeah. So her husband, who is quite in her suit gentleman, of course, he was saying, why do we have to share the ildren?

You're sorry for reasonableinely reasonable?

And she said because they're expensive. She buys the very expensive like ten dollars a go sort of thing. Sure, right, And she said that if we all share one, it means I don't have to buy as much children.

But it will deplete four times.

Quicker didn't care about that. It was in fact, she refused to spend more than ten dollar was a month and deodrant, so you all have to share? No, yeah, TikTok to plead her case and say to the world that's perfectly reasonable, isn't.

It, Oh TikTok. What a wonderful, strange, strange place.

When I first do you remember the woman that made a cup of tea by microwaving it?

Oh yeah, that really took off as a here's the American way of making tea.

Everybody, everybody, everybody whe had to have a cup of tea. I first thought it was going to be the same person. You just want to be hated.

You are doing this on purpose, exactly. There is no way this is actually how you live your life.

This is a fetish and you're getting off on it.

You want the attention for whatever reason, and I'm just I can't give you that.

No, But instead of giving attention, we featured it on the show. But if you wanted some attention on the show just because, why not, why not share it with us? We are at the Cood TV on social media and that brings us nicely to our story of the week. You are Pilly partnered. I am indeed, yes, with a wonderful person called Adam. Yes, indeed, I'm going to get a little bit person more personal now person sharing a stick of Antie's stench, which is sexy time. There's been

It's got it's got to be a Friday or a Saturday night.

Or you have to pick one. You can't say either.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go Friday night.

Friday night. We're getting Christmas from the gallery tells you more about more about their relationship than just about anything else. They don't celebrate Christmas. That's why. So a recent poll has been given to the people intended of that during the week. The later you get in the week, the more rampant people get.

Sure.

So Monday weekend, oh god, yeah, no, nothing on a Monday. Nothing on a Monday, maybe a bit on a Tuesday, and you're on a Wednesday. Saturday is the day? Ah, right, so close thirty literally thirty four people. Thirty percent of people say they prefer their sexy time on a Saturday.

Yeah, I can get behind that.

Now. Out of those thirty four people are massive eighty percent of those people. So just before ten past ten is the peak time.

Just that's so specific.

They drilled down further into the statistic and said it's nine minutes past ten is the exact time. So most people feel amorous at nine minutes past ten on a Saturday evening.

Well, yeah, that's usually by the point that the red wine has been sunk.

And you've got boring and so watch you watch on Netflix. Well then you realize nothing after ten past ten, Yeah, realize.

You live alone and no one will shag you. But I thought that was a fantastic statistic.

That is great.

That is what data researchers should be out there for.

Exactly.

They shouldn't be doing anything if any more value than that. That is the most valuable bit.

Warn in four households could say fifty pounds on the electric bill by boor off, tell us when people.

Are when are people shagging?

Exactly? So, yeah, some people are saying it's the new hottest number. So it's hotter than sixty nine because it's ten o nine. I think that's pushing it. I thought that was pushing it.

That's stop trying to make ten o nine happen exactly, it's not going to happen now.

Out of all those people, right, it was mainly heterosexual couples. Okay, okay. Now I know for my own personal exhaustive research that most game men have sex on a Thursday evening, sure, or Friday morning.

No, definitely, not on a Saturday at ten past ten.

And because that's when all the gays are out clubbing.

Yeah, they're just just leaving the house.

At that point, getting the Third Battle of Wininging come on. So yeah, Thursday evening.

Thursday evening. There's there been any research run into why that is.

I have done a lot of research and it's just because that's why I have grinder open to be fair.

Is there now on Telly on a Thursday? Is it not worth watching?

Well, because all of the streaming services tend to do on Friday, don't They released.

Friday, released for the weekend.

So yeah, Thursday is the boring night where you've got to find entertainment elsewhere, and.

Then Friday night, Lord of the Rings comes out.

So you can't possibly be doing anything else.

Because that's a fest all on its own. But that's all from the Bulls this week.

Thanks Mike, And now I know when I should be scheduling Saxon with my partner.

Looking at your watch quite exactly there, You're welcome, Zoey. Stay right there after this short break Becauzo. He brings up to date with the world of celebrity in showbiz. Welcome back, and you're watching Chewing the Cud. This is the part of the show where we look into the sparkly side of the world of celebrity and media in the show biz with Zoey.

Do you remember do you remember? Probably remember Coronation Street, don't you?

I think back to us the twenty first night of September.

Always an option.

I do remember Coronation Street.

Yeah, that show from long ago that's clearly not still on the TV.

No, is it still on the TV?

Yeah, I'll watched it.

Well, it's still on the TV.

You know, I'm sure it's got it's not got the viewership that could has obviously.

Literally got tens of viewers.

No more than that, that couldn't possibly. Yeah, do you know who probably is still watching it?

Though? I was going to say the Queen, but she's dead.

Yeah, that's why the viewerships.

Yes, and Queen mom. Oh a really old reference. Enlighten me.

Elliott Page, I'm sure still watches it because it was a show that he watched with his parents when he was younger.

Oh, it was one of his mum's favorite shows.

And when watching it as a youngster, they said that that was their first interaction with start with the trans community in public media. Haley Cropper.

Ah, that's good because Hailey Cropper famously was the first trans representation on British TV in a soap opera.

Yeah, I feel like it absolutely must.

I remember the outcry when it happened.

I remember I remember watching the episode and being like, oh my god, this is really cool actually, because the only time I'd ever seen anything on the TV that was anything even remotely queer was Little Savage doing blankety blank and do you know what I mean?

It was such niche stuff.

So to see this just being played out in normal life, as normal as Courriers, because that has got to be the most active mental street in Manchester.

You mean you haven't seen a tram crash through somebody's.

Living room, do you know what? Not recently?

Recently?

Not recently?

No, certainly, like Christmas is never that exciting EastEnders.

Something is blowing up, something.

Is catching fire, someone dies or comes back.

Yeah, somebody died ten years ago and miraculously wanders back onto the street like nobody's business.

And you're like, no, I don't think that's how that worked.

I know that's the reference to Ben getting shot and what Yeah, got shot with a bunch of daffidils, Like I've been shot with the worst Flowers. I'm revenge. I'm revenging my death.

Absolutely, we're absolutely not having that bither.

Way I go out now waits Elliott Page watched watching it with his mom. That's cool.

I love the fact that it's something that was very much on in my household when I as a kid, And to think where Elliott Page has gone on to be, I'm like, ah, we were watching the same shows as kids.

That's a weirdly nice comforting thing.

Why have they got the fame of the fortune. I watched Corey, I watched Hollyoaks I should be watching. I was punished.

I had to sit through Hollyoaks.

I was in Hollyoaks once. Yeah, I've got a clip around their for my mother because they used to film in Chester. And then I was caught in a Sayer's Sausage role, which I think before Greg's on the Rose and they filmed and.

In the background saws. Yeah. Amazing.

So we've got a story here about oh my Apollo, who is starring in a new and upcoming film called Queer, and during apparently throughout this film, he has several steamy sex scenes with Daniel Craig.

Sorry, I need to go. Yeah, or we need to watch it.

Yeah, it needs to be out an hour ago for us to have watched it.

My goodness, Now are they both naked?

I hope so. I don't know who Omar Apollo is that person there. I had no idea who this person was before I looked into this store. Having now looked into this story, I will be booking the day off work the whole day Saturday, not quite from past ten.

It's two hours two hour film watching.

Also the last viewing of a right nice Saturday evening.

Oh, don't have cour so quick? Do you know what the story is about?

I believe that Daniel Craig is playing a gay man who is attempting to attract the affections of somebody who believes themselves to be straightened. Throughout this movie discovers that they are very much not straight. I didn't get any further into the plot than that because I just was really excited.

About distracted by pictures.

Didn't you fully got distracted by the pictures in the article I'm not gonna lie.

I also read upon this story and I got to the Queer and a movie with Daniel Craig and O Martin. Then sorry, of picture that's all I can remember.

So I believe that Omar is going to be one of Craig's former lovers. Okay, so there will be lots of flashback sex scenes, flashing other back.

It's usually the bit you're looking at.

Right, don't do a lot of looking. What's your favorite film? Then? Obviously after after Queer.

After Queer, not yet watched Soccer for mul Rouge. I can put that on it anytime, happy and sad or otherwise. Okay, it was a bit of a sad, sad film, A bit of a sad film.

But prostitute dying before when she finds true love.

Sure, but the songs are real fun A fun songs are real fun and uplifting, well most of them.

Yeah, what about you make what's your favorite movie?

So?

Oh, I have a slight problem because my favorite movie I have ever watched was Cruel Intentions. Okay, okay, with Sarah Michelle Geller, Sama Blair and Ryan Philip's bum.

Bum nothing else, nothing else perceived during that film.

You don't watch that film? Nope, there's there's a don't get Me film Ryan the Leaps Bomb.

I see the appeal.

Yeah, yeah, and you know, knowing that that film came out a year or two ago. Young teenage Mike very enamored by that.

But I can see why.

Quote it's based off a book about the Sameless Thing, but it's in the seventeenth century France, so it's very really period period. But they said, friend Felip's bumming it.

What else?

What else could it possibly need?

Uh?

Final story I've got for us is Jojo Siwa. Okay, quite controversial. So at the point of looking this up, the story changed completely. So there were rumors spouted by Jojo Sewer herself, I believe.

Okay, so not a rumor then, just publicist.

Well, Jojo Sewer was spouting that.

She spouting, well that sounds exactly what you think of her.

That she was potentially going to be the next Eurovision entrant for Poland.

Okay, that's a weird one.

So apparently Jojo Sewer has Polish heritage, Okay, and that therefore makes her potentially theoretically eligible to be Poland's entry into Eurovision.

You can have anybody, So is this me.

Not understanding your vision? Thinking it's like the Olympics where you've got to.

At least before her. Not understanding it and saying, this is why I can do it. So we have friends of the show. Then Smith who got through to the finals for Sam And it's Scottish. Okay, yeah, it's no link. It's not the Olympics. What's probably got that very wrong.

Yeah, because the way the way it sounded like she was describing it in the TikTok that she made believe it was a TikTok was that she has Polish heritage and therefore she was in talks with Poland. Okay, Poland, the country of whole of them in Poland on big group chat that what's up chat is hellish, I imagine to say that she was going to be their entrant for Eurovision.

Okay.

I checked up on this again last night and it'd been updated to say that Poland, against the country of in its entirety, had come out to say these talks are not happening.

This is completely made up. Who is Jojo Sie? What are you talking about?

Who is Jojo Sie? What? I hope that happened?

Yeah, yeah, that's me and Bellis.

I just want the entire country of Poland to be turning and going, who is Jojo Siwa?

Remember that one from the dance mom thing. Yeah oh no, no, so yeah, she's also wearing a very gay outfit because she's of course family.

Of course she is one of us.

Uh huh. Sadly we didn't get a receipt.

Is one of us, don't we?

We've got a claimer exactly. Question about Eurovision moments from you? Favorite one?

I think it has to have been from the last one, purely because it was incredibly unhinged and I had no idea that it was coming at all.

Windows ninety five.

Man, they absolutely because absolutely not the thing I expected, you know, to see a man prancing about the stage with no trousers on, just barely covering his member absolutely had me in fits. I think I missed every performance after that because I just could not stop giggling at the idea of this man running along and somebody with a camera just placed right what a beautiful and busting out of an egg at the beginning?

Too funny? Not too too funny? What was yours?

I think probably my favorite Eurovision moment was again from last year, and that's when they were talking to some of the crowd and the grinder went off and who are you with? And we're here with my partner.

No, I don't know what that noise is.

I didn't watch any of the performances after that, going let's fight this person, change my location of grinder, Let's do it. Let's fight.

Yes, of course I'm in Malmo.

Where are you trying to get in his Malmo?

And that's all from the show Busines this week.

Thanks for that, Zoe always does to have a recollection of a gentleman going off in public. But stick around because coming up next we have a game to play and get him of the week. Welcome back to chewing the cud with me, Mike, Bernie Row. And then it's like, now this is the part of the show where're going to play a little game and a game called riddled, and this one is for our newest member to be the master of being riddled. So off your pop, okay, day of the week.

In a game of riddles, we twist and we turn with questions so tricky your brain will burn, but with laughter and fun you solve the clues in this riddle game.

It's me versus you. Mike, you ready for your first one?

My brain will burn like my pea, or my brain will just burn.

I mean, if you pease burning. I'm fairly sure there's a there's a cream for that.

There's an I am on the antibiotics. It's fine, Yes, I'm.

Ready, amazing. I'm not a blanket yet. I cover the ground a crystal from heaven. That doesn't make a sound. What am I on the ground?

Blanket? Oh, Mike, cocaine?

I mean, how much do you earn if you can afford a blanket the ground?

With that? Oh? No, I was thinking more like Michael Jackson won he had held the baby blanket out of the bedroom window. He was quite clearly on something.

Yeah, that would it's not the answer.

I'm looking for.

Okay, well, what's the answer.

Then it's a snowflake.

I'm sorry. I'd needed a name, gallery nickname for cocaine. Snow Yep, that's that's yes, that's what's this? He grasping at straws. Okay, let's have the next one, then it and do better.

I'm sweet and cold with a stick to hold a tree on a hot day, worth more than gold. What am I? Mike?

Quite clearly about penises?

I mean, sure, how often is yours? Sweet and cold?

Well, we don't think shame here you've.

Been dangling it out of windows again, No, in the fridge.

You find it in a petty flu It's your own problem, you know, Mike.

Double buzzed, double bubble that before and correct.

I'm ready for the next one when you are.

This is a great one.

What has a head but no brain penises?

I mean I will accept that. Correct?

What what was it? Actually it was a lettuce?

So it's counterpart depending on what kind of relationship you're in, Mike.

Former Prime Minister Liz Truss.

Lasts longer. We know this to be true.

No braines.

It doesn't last as long as the letters either.

But she didn't kill the queen, just saying yeah she did allegedly.

Why do cats make good warriors?

Why do cats make good warriors?

Hm?

Hmm, I think they did? They do?

They do according to this riddle?

Okay, why do cats make good warriors?

I mean, I know puss is not your strong suit, but not really.

Do you need a hint?

Yeah? I do need a hint. I'm really struggling with that one.

The number nine, Mike, because.

If you send out sixty of them, there's a very lot of very pussy.

No, I don't know, because they've got nine lives.

That doesn't mean they're good warriors. That just means that they're easier to keep going after the bin.

They've got longevity.

I guess they can be shit at it.

They could be shit at it, but they could just keep going.

It's like what they done that lays just shut himself in the face while that's one of his lives gone. What he done that always lit some pointson another one gun. That's seven here exactly, And that's just assuming they started with nine kicked or putting a bin. Let's move on to.

Who writes these things.

I know who writes them, and I'm always preted by them.

I have a neck, but no head is trust, I'm still willing to accept it.

I have two arms but no hands.

What am I? It's Liz Truss, but with two arms and no hands.

It's Paralympian in it.

Very apt.

Right, a neck, no.

Head, two arms but no hands. Mike teapot, I mean multi armed teapot. You might be onto something there because.

If you're a bit shaky with one, you always put your finger under the spot, and it's hot under there. It is hot if you have two and you can pour forwards.

Two handled teapot. It's not the answer I'm looking for.

I'm afraid. Okay, it's a shirt.

Neck but no head, two arms but no hands, like a very fetching red polo.

I had an issue on the way to work. The people who watch the show know I have a joke called George, who is a sweetheart and also a dickhead. Right, and on the way to this shoe is say, he went, you know what, I like that shirt that you're going to wear to stay dad. Let's run it through the mud outside, give it a run through the garden for the garden. Brought it in tail wagon. Look what I've

It wasn't green, very it's very royal, male.

Very red. It was the post office I stopped into. There's a posty walking around going, why am I having to do this with me? Nips out. He must. Let's move on before I start shaming.

Myself, Before you reveal another kink.

Oh, no shaming, No, never any shame, no, never any shquestions. What word contains twenty six letters but only has three syllables. Mike.

I've got you with this one because you've been a smart ass. It's alphabet.

It is the alphabet. That's not even a.

Riddle, that's just a question.

But the thing is, alphabet doesn't the alphabet does?

It must be the alphabet correct.

Well, that's not four syllables. Then the alphabet for this question shoots wrong again. We need to shoot the producer.

That's the only logical conclusion for it.

We have to go from some old disappointment to murder in one easy step. That's the way. The one was one.

What comes down but never goes up? And if it does, consult your doctor.

The price of electric.

It's always going up.

I don't know the rain, that's but the rain does go up.

It doesn't go up as rain does go up, but not as rain.

Though the circle of life, it moves us.

All the circle of water.

GCS. He's coming in, real handy there.

It brought you a little picture and everything.

A little picture with a little arrows.

Let's get one more.

What five letter word typed in all capital letters can be read the same upside down? Mike. That is a fairly universal word, Mike, also universal, Mike, He's an old four letter word and fairly sure what five letter words? Letter words, Mike, five letter word typed in. All capital letters can be read the same upside down as right way up.

Kayak, that's a palindrome.

Yeah, that's farwards backwards. We're looking for upside down.

No, no idea.

Uh, the answer is swims.

Hyeah. Fascinating.

Anyway, we've got anymore?

Well?

Do you want more?

Then?

The more you take, the more you leave behind?

What am I?

Mike?

Dignity?

Acceptable?

People take my dignity? The less I have behind, the more I take, the less I have behind.

The more you take, the more you leave behind.

Why are you.

Taking people's poop?

I don't know what's the answer.

Footsteps.

The more footsteps you take, the more tapes you leave.

Behind, the more every movie you make, every word you break, every bond you break even I'll be watching you, and that's why I have a police injunction. But stay around. Coming up next after this short break, we're going to ask Zoe some lovely little questions in Spotlight. Welcome back. You're still watching Mike and Zoe and chewing the cud, And now we're going to ask all manner of things of personal situation in Spotlight with Zoe. But it needs

It is rather spangling, it's very it's very special.

I've got some sort of staying on the top delicious. But before we do, I just thought i'd asked you get to know you a little bit better about you. Okay, okay, we have some general questions, just to understand what makes you take because of course you've been on the show before. I have because you came to talk about a D and D d D. So I have to say it because it it repulses me and repulse everybody. Look, what's the reason why I'm single? This is it? So, yeah,

Which is a d D thing, very exciting.

Tell us something else about you though.

I've recently gotten into kroche, which is really riveting and exciting.

I have an interesting fact about crochet. You do in France, it's called hooking.

It's called hooking.

So so someone in France who crochet is maybe known as a hooker exactly how exciting.

I only knew that because when I went to France, I was young and the movie Hook came out, sure, and it was Captain Crochet.

It was not what it was.

In France, Captain Hook. In France it is called Captain Crochet.

Yeah, stand back, I'll make you a blanket.

Like you're ready for a doily.

You'd be amazed at the speed at which I can bang out coasters.

So croceet means hooking. Yeah, you're a hooker, okay, okay, So d n D crochet?

I am secret?

Yeah, I think I am secretly an old lady like I like well.

It's much like the.

I like my I like my board games, I like my crochet.

I have a cat at home and would gladly have another six called She's called Gizelle, okay, which was not the name I gave her.

That was the name that the Charla.

Had given her when we adopted her. She wandered in, screaming her head off, requiring medical attention. Just wandered in off the street and was like, help me.

So you've got a drug addict.

Cat, I need drugs, she wondered, and they were like, well, we've decided you're called gazelle.

That's great.

About a fortnight later I went and adopted her, and now roughly annually it's probably coming up for that time year. Actually, she gives us some kind of health scare, which usually requires taking her to the vet where they go she's being dramatic. Have some painkillers for her. So she is, she's a little drug addict. You fully predicted my story.

Okay again, because mister's got a cat that he's stolen from his neighbors.

Yeah, not his cat, stolen cat.

Yeah, that stolen cat. Okay, that's fine, of course. Let's get into some some questions from the jar of joy.

Then what's the jar of joy I got for us?

Okay, so these tend to be either or either or questions. Okay, would you rather have one nipple or two belly buttons? See insightful deep questions journalism?

Are two belly buttons double? The fluff double?

I don't get a lot of fluff in my existing one, so but the second one, mate.

However, what you get you getting done?

I'm going to get double to be fair.

Yeah, okay, I've always thought that one nipple would be nice, but be lobsided walk in circles.

Well, that would be the thing. It would it be one nipple bang in the middle or is it just like one on one boob, one on one boob. That would be odd You would be odd on lop sided, whereas too, I think, would balance you out with the existing amount of nipples.

You could then have a line belly.

Buttons, but it doesn't say the belly button could be somewhere different.

It could be one on the front, one on the back exactly, or one on the side, one on the side.

Yeah, okay, Well, next question, what else they gat Would you rather have a flying carpet or a car that can drive underwater? Oh?

Flying carpet or cars can drive underwater once? Maybe not very far they can.

Now the thought of.

What is in the ocean is absolutely terrifying to me. Eighty five percent of the ocean is undiscovered. We don't know what's in it. I ain't taken my car down there. I've got no desire to be under the water whatsoever, especially not in a car. We all know what happened in Ocean Gate. It's bound to happen. Oh, it was the billionaires who got in a tiny, little capsule submarine.

Oh, the one, and that was controlled with real Titanic.

Yeah, they went to see the Titanic.

Controlled by the terrible wireless controller, which where they got so far away and it connected and they all Sangkanic was a tragedy because people died.

That is sad no matter what. But there's now more people can plan.

For doing that.

I'm sure there are more expected expeditions planned.

I just now have this image of I've mentally drawn a graph of people that died in the Titanic nineteen twelve high quite a spike, not much, not much, not much.

Twenty it was the last two two.

Okay, so we've also found out that you're on my wavelength. That's not good for you. Would you rather have everything you do live streamed for the world to see, right, or whatever you were thinking about appear in a bubble above your head.

Oh, I think the second one's much more entertaining. I'd be arrested, Yeah, it probably wouldn't be for long. Yeah, I'd probably end up in a nice white jacket with really really long sleeves that go around the back. Oh.

No, I wouldn't end up with one of those. It's just people going, I can't, it's indecent. I didn't know Chris Henworth could move that way from Oh okay, I'm gonna have to ask you about celebrity crush crushes while you get your your hand out. So who's the celebrity?

So I've kind of consistently had the piss taken out of me for this, But my celebrity crush is Darren Brown, who is a gay man?

Darren Brown, Darren Brown, costly, I'm thinking of the right person when you're saying Darren Brown, Am I thinking that.

The magiciany psychic?

Yeah, that one, Darren Brown.

Yeah, I know that's a weird one.

It's not if it's what what you go, Yes, that's perfectly fine. Not michaeup of tea. You should ask that question before you.

I'm going to ask this question before I say something else more silly than that. Would I rather breathe ice or breathe fire? I feel like fire is going to be way more inconvenient. Like, imagine you've got the flu or a cough or a cold or something like that.

Warm you would be boiling all the time, and.

You know you sneez in the middle of a supermarket. I imagine that's probably akin to how a breath weapon works. You sneeze in the middle of the supermarket. You're going to put Asda under.

Do I get to choose who's in front of.

Me generally in life? Yeah, you can generally pick who's in front of you in life.

Because there's one woman at Asda that she's always there, and she's always in my way.

It's just actually staff or is it just you go at the same time everywhere?

No matter when I go, she's always.

I need to start running experiments on this. You need to start going at obscene times in the day.

I have been to Asda at three in the morning. That's when I got before Christmas. I got three morning where el there's a bed. She's there, She's always.

Is she a real person?

Way, She's one of these people that's put leaves a trolley in the middle at an angle and then goes and then goes to the next Take it with.

You, that's the point of the trolley. Take it with you.

Take it with you.

Don't be a terrible person.

Yeah, crazy lady.

Yeah, I have a mortal enemy, and it's a random one. I don't know the name of it.

I don't care.

Anyway.

I like fire for you, whereas I'm thinking, I I can chill drinks really easy, and that'd be a fun party trick.

It would, but only if you like to chill drinks. So it's only useful for like the hot months three weeks in June, people come till a drink.

But do you want to be really breathing fire in the winter months, potentially inside your house? The insurance claims are only going to pay out. The insurance companies are only going to pay out so many times before they start saying, I think you're doing this on purpose.

Breathe fire on them as well, So I think you're doing this on purpose.

Good for you and.

A bad breath? Would you get though burning breath? Would you rather be a clumsy ninja or a wizard with amnesia?

Oh, wizard with amnesia.

I forget everything all the time anyway, So that's just giving me magic powers in the way that I exist currently.

But you'd forget you had magic powers.

That's always going to be fun. Then figuring out I've got a minute not.

Really well, that could go horribly horribly.

Oh no, I've turned my kettle into a frog.

How have I done that. I'm just insane. I forgot I'm magic. I just think I've lost my mind, Like.

Why are all these frogs in the Houseide, don't I don't know very specific changing these into a frog.

I feel like that's a very witchy wizard thing.

Today. It's always I shall turn you into a toad or a frog.

Okay, nice, Okay, Well, I think we've got to know you very well so that the next time you come on it'll make more sense. Okay, yeah, so thanks for that.

Sorry, you're very welcome. That's almost the end of the show for now, but on screen you can see our contact details. It's at the cud TV on your social media, and if you want to catch up with previous episodes, you can always.

Bringe a lot on YouTube. Look for Cheering the CUD.

Thank you for watching. I will see you sometime soon. Bye bye.