Poked My Finger - Chewing The Cud - S06E18

You're watching Chewing the Cud is River Scott and Mike Benyon row So I.

Talked too, but that was Tuesday morning and it's not gone down yet. Hello, you're watching Chewing the Cud, your lighthearted weekly look at the world through a slightly glittery kaleidoscope. I'm River Scott, and here with me this week is my close personal friend and astrologer Mike Benyon Rowe. How are you doing, Mike? What You're not my astrologer or you're not my close personal friend? Which of those was offending you?

I'm going to say, I don't want to talk about what's holding around Jurinus.

This has been fun. Goodbye next week? All right then if you don't want to talk about planetary alignments and all that on the tree alignments, yeah okay, no different, Okay, such a Libra thing to say. Anyway, what are you bringings this week? Mike?

Well, this week I bring you a story about kinks. I'm not talking about Ben's in hose pipe. Before we get all physical on a can in Crafty Queens.

Oh dear, we even have a game you can play along with us as well. But on screen now you can see our contact details is the could TV on all of your social media's and if you want to bing's, you can catch up on previous episodes by searching on the youtubees for Chewing the cud.

You can see the names of people reached out and touched our souls going along the bottom of the screen. But now it's time of a river in the showbiz. Jerry Horner sat in the corner eating her curtainway wish.

She would she shut up if she did that, wouldn't she? Anyway? She is one of the she was many many years ago, one of the spies girls. That's pretty much it. She's still talking, is the thing? Like, she's hinting at a full blown Spy Skirls reunion, including Posh, including well, she says it'd be great if Posh was What was that she actually said? Hang on, what did she say?

There? She is blending in nices with the background christ floating head.

She looks dead well yeah, oh dear, anyway, yeah did the spy skills? She wants all five members to return, which is nice. I love all these stories. Always to me whenever they're like, oh, hints are to full Spy Skulls reunion? What she's saying, is I've run out of money, Like it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. She's she's not got enough money or enough attention recently. So now we've all got to do this big thing about getting excited about the Spice Girls reunion that is

Why do you not tell her how you really feel? Take off the guy?

The guys, Well, you know.

What I loved was because they came back to the Olympics.

They did, and that was ridiculous. Victoria was there for the picture was Yeah, she just stood there emotionless and she's absolutely nothing her normal accent. Yeah, so they're on top of taxi as well, Right, they all came on and they were all doing like who do you think you are? And she just stood there absolutely just like and then they drove off and that was it, and she got paid millions of pounds for that.

Yeah, But then they did a tour after that, didn't They Little Spy Skills e tour. But she didn't get involved because she knows that I don't need the money. Love I've got David Beckham.

Yeah, I was off like having a life and like doing my own ship, but then I stopped.

Very handsome kids. Me.

I've had several handsome several people's handsome kids. But that's not the story.

Victoria Beckham.

I've not had her kids as far as I know, I don't remember. You'd think you'd hope. Yeah, they all blur after a while. Anyway, they're doing it, she was, they're not doing she wants to do a full on spy Skills reunion, but it is as likely as it was the last million times. Apparently the group last reunited for Victoria's fiftieth birthday Brackets off stage, they went for a drink, and for some reason that was news.

Where where they got the local pub or they go out someone nice?

They probably I got a spoons. Can you hang on? What would the thirtieth anniversary reunion mean to you, Mike?

I wouldn't know. I'm not old enough to have one. I'm twenty nine.

Should they release new music or just celebrate straight like twenty nine?

I'm ignoring that line smoothing straight on?

I mean, I can, we can? Do you want to do that? Do you want me to not ignore that line.

It wasn't a lie. It's true. I had a very hard life. What I've had a very hard life, dear?

Should they release new music or just celebrate the legacy those of you two? Apparently shut up and move on is not one of the options.

Cool. I would quite like that to be a slight reunion, so they all get together and hate each other again.

All right? That was yeah, and didn't Jerry bang Melby? Wasn't that allegedly allegedly allegedly allegedly allegedly? Yeah, sorry, I don't want to get you in trouble.

It's not me that said it, you that said it.

Yeah, it's not my show, right anyway, crashing on, Bob the drag Queen is now Bob the Author. They become a New York Times bestseller with bold novel, which isn't anything to do with washatted powder the types. You need less words because you're taking more space. You've got bigger page count. Yeah, no, it needs to.

Be a three page essay.

Okay, it's called Harriet Tubman live in concert. Sorry, Harriet Tubman colon live in concert a colonline in concert. It is a fixed or reimagining where Harriet Tubman is resurrected in the modern era to fight oppression through hip hop and music, which is weirdly worded that implies that hip hop is not music.

Which it's also I'm just.

As a novel, this is a novel by Bob the drag Queen. Bob the author just feels a bit wrong. Well, Whoopy Goldberg disagree? She called it magnificent and Nobel prizeworthy.

Nobel prizeworthy.

What did I say.

I'm just really I'm really confirming that's what was said. Yeah, I hadn't stroked out at that point, and he's gone a bit weird, Okay.

Peppermint The Taste of Peppermint apparently praised it for blending activism and artistry. Queen Oh as a Dragon Queen called Peppermint or they liked it too, apparently. God, we're doing well with the news today, am I She was sobbing and overwhelmed with emotion. It took five years to write. It's on the New York Times Bestsellers list March twenty twenty five. But that's not difficult. There was that whole

If it's something i'm buying, I might check. But it's just what they're meeting having drinks and they go, oh, I'm a best selling author. I'm like, okay, cool, I'm not going to check.

But then if it's a book by Bob the Drag Queen, surely Bob the Drag Queen's fans are going to buy it. They don't care if it's best selling because it's bothered drag Queen.

But that's only six books. What that's only six books? Six mans say, are they not popular?

I don't know. I don't follow drag queens. I've knowd Yeah. Uh is this book a satire? Or who wrote this? Jesus? Moving on right, Kelly Clarkson remember her? Yeah, champions trans artists with Transer album on the trans Day of Visibility.

Okay, which there she is. There's very toothy.

I was thinking, who am I thinking of Kerry Katona? I got the wrong one.

No difference, really, they're very different people.

I disagree. Look at that. There's no difference.

Really. She has a talk show that's very positive and very loving. Kerry Katona's Kerry Katona.

She's still do in the Iceland adverts.

I don't think she is anymore. I think I think they were removed from her.

Oh, removed from Oh that sounds ecological anyway. She promoted an album on her show and via social media. It's uh, all right, She's not on the album she just promoted. How is this news? Like she's she's it's got artists like Shard, Sam Smith, Hunter Schaeffer. I don't know what that means? Uh?

Sorry, Sam Smith.

They featured on the on the lead single.

Did was more The reaction about Sam Smith that wasn't feed about.

Not a fan tedious. Yeah, it's like the Ed Sheeran for queer's. It's like it's the one the mom's like anyway, uh right she Yeah, she used her daytime show to promote transvisibility and uplift queer art. She called it a healing project and essential listening.

Okay, all right, so I think that's allyship in America at the minute. I mean, what's going on?

And did she give any of her money away? Has she set a transphobe on fire? Has she thrown her own feces at a policeman? None of these things. So the Allyship is now just saying, this is an album that already exists.

Do you have to throw your owns at a policeman?

You don't have to, clearly, because she hasn't done that. She's just waving someone else's album around and going yay trans It seems a little low effort in my eye, That's what I'm saying.

Okay.

Apparently it's been widely praised on queer Twitter and TikTok. I don't know any queers left on Twitter. I thought that all popped over to Blue Sky by now. Trans fans call it a love letter to us, which is all right fine conservative backlash online, but Clarkson.

Stood for her nice.

For a lower allyship, Yeah, very low. I've actually got paid for it. I'll put money. Yeah, but they probably paid to put it on the show, is what I mean. Like some someone's prs had to have a word. That's the end of the showbiz.

Thanks for that.

River, You are more than welcome, Mike. Stay right there. Coming up soon we'll be going through Mike's search history. But first a little break. Welcome back. You're still watching Cheering the Cood with me, River Scott and my good friend Mike Benion rote. So now it's time for the buzz where we have a nose around in Mike's search history. Good luck everybody.

You have flown before, right, yes, in many places? Yes, that's wonderful. How do you feel about steat allocations on aircraft? As in going, I want to sit there.

I get me, going, I want to sit there? Oh I like that. Yeah, I like to choose.

Okay, and do you pay for that privilely? If you say you're flying with Ryanair or Squeezy Jet.

It depends on the length of the flight. If it's just like an hour or so, I'll probably not be that bothered if it's like more than four hours. So if I'm going somewhere a bit further away, like Grand Canary is a four hour flight and that can be a pain. So maybe Yeah, it depends on the length of flight and how crappy an airline is basically, and how much it costs. Because I'm a Yorkshire type, we don't spend money on ship. We don't have to. I'll sit on the wing.

Because then I can have a fact wrap up.

Why do you ask?

So there's there's been a thing called a seat lice or seat louse, okay, which is someone that tries to get a better scene.

I thought it was some kind of infestation.

I can now choose whether to have an infestation of insects on your seat or that we pay extra from that. But no, basically people that try and scam their way to get a better seat than the one they've paid for, right, okay, And it's basically people worked out what it is and it's not going down well.

Right.

It tends to be groups of people rather than solo travelers, Okay. It tends to be people who have children. Is the common denominator.

I mean they are all dickheads, so that.

Not all of them. And some great people with kids that leave them at home.

Yeah, that's the thing. If they leave it at home, then being responsible parents is when they inflict them on the rest of us. That's when it's yeah, right, let's go out for a pint.

Okay, that's great. Don't bring a little one.

Yeah, oh, bring your screaming child to the wedding so that it can scream all the way through the service. Fantastic, excellent work. Anyway, soon, No, but several weddings. I don't get invited to weddings them anyway. What do they do? How do they do it?

So this happened to me, and I'm it's not even a rant. This has actually become a thing. Right, So I always pay for the first class budget airline, which is the first row of seats. Okay, all right, so that's just the one but by the door with the extra leg group. It's first class. Right.

It's just like when you're upstairs on the bus and the bus driver all right.

First class, right there? First class? Easy? Yet first class with their is that first row seats because you get le.

Group were still going yeah, I thought that one shut down.

And you can buy a yearly pass with there. You wouldn't, but you can say, in a case emergency, are you are you able to open up grade the door? And I am able to operate that door. I'm not doing it. I'm able to operate that door.

Is that kind of like I will operate the door if you don't get me another bag of peanuts or something like that.

No, no, no, no, because the question is are you able to operate the door? Like yes, Sam Willing is a different question, very different question. There's two people before me. If they're not doing it, we're all anyway, that was a rant, and you know, so I'll be sat in a seat and someone will come over and go, oh, i've sat a child there. I was like, oh, we can't sit on the zone. You need a parent. Now, well, I've only bought the one seat. Would you mind moving, sir?

Right?

So they don't separate the parent and child. What do you think my Carmen reaction is to that?

I mean, if you didn't know that this was a thing that they were doing in order to get the seat that you'd bugged, then I suppose you'd be like all right, Fine, if it happened like once maybe or something like that, or if you flew a lot and it wasn't a thing that happened a lot. But if it's something that's happening every time, I'd be like no, So.

The first time that happened, I will gladly move for you. This seat cost me twenty pounds, it's going to cost you forty a capitalism. Yeah, supply and demand. I have a supply of a seat you're demanding to sit in it. Pay me, bitch. Yeah, she paid me the money in euros, but five there. Yeah, I'll rinse a bitch. But yeah. This alsoes for things like upgrades. People try and scamm an upgrades at the airport to try and get the better seats and stuff.

I remember once I did say that I was because this was back in the old olden days before you could buy tickets on the internet. And I did it over the phone with the travel agent or whatever it was, and I said I was six foot five to try and get extra leg room on a flight to Australia, and it worked. I mean, I'm I'm six foot nine inches. That's two measurements. I'm only six foot tall. So I'm not far off, but still I did. I thought i'd add a bit to that to see if I could

That was yes officially yes, that's because you'rellowing to try a disadvantage. I mean there are ethical ways of getting a free upgrade like which I'll tell you later. All right, but moving on. Are you aware of Chick fil A?

Yes?

And how do you feel about Chick of fhill a?

Slightly better than I feel about Jerry Halliwell Horner wherever. The name is so not not not not great, not great, not.

Great because they're renowned for having very strong anti lgbt Q i A plus.

Views that they then funneled money into and all that kind of malarkey.

So a while ago they tried to break into the UK market with their brand Chick fil A, didn't do particularly well, but they're now trying it again with a different one of their brands. Okay, cool, so they're renit. They're basically they're ah Churches Texas Chicken CTC sound familiar CTC chewing the cud churches, Texas Chicken. So they're saying that they taste better than KFC.

That's a low bar.

It's not difficult. I've got saw dust and they're trying to open Lane Hundre branches in the UK, and they're owned by Chick fil A, so trying to sneak in.

Sorry, I'm just getting a voice in my ear that says I'm not allowed to say quite a few of the things I was thinking about saying.

Think about saying, uh the.

Key all right, Jesus, where it's like incitement to riot are being said in my ear. So okay, let's it's not. But yeah, like apparently I am very much not allowed to say that we should burn them all down. I'm not saying that that would apparently be illegal.

That is illegal. We should not do that.

No, we should absolutely not.

What you do have the rights to is a peaceful protest by standing outside and stopping people coming in and going oh no, no, no, no, they try and hurt people.

Yes, and while I'm doing that, you can be round the back opening the gas taps and chucking a couple of.

I would not be opening the gaps. No, what you do is on the deep fryers while they're cold, you're open up the fence at the bottom, because that's a bugger to clean up because oil everywhere, that's just vandalism. So yeah, so that's more of a warning about that. If you do see anything called Church's Texas chicken, right.

That's not a fun thing. It's got a nice rhythm to it. But churches textus chicken. It's not something that you're going to say when you're drunk.

It's not.

It's like a bulldog trying to chew a toffee indeed is yeah, church chick.

And if you do an impression of a bulldog during a toffee, why not share that with us? We are at the Cood TV on all your social media, and that brings us nicely to our story of the week while rivers still doing that treasure. Okay, we're talking about sex and kinks.

Okay, Okay, I'm in, I'm down.

Okay, cool. We're in this great island nation that we are. We're in this island nation that we're in. Do you think is the kinkiest place to live? Hebden Bridge, hebden Bridge. I don't think that's kinky. I think that's very above the cook.

Yeah, that's going to be marmalade and lesbians, isn't it all right? It's going to be somewhere miserable like Slough okay, or Redford, Rotherham something like that. The just somewhere really miserable where there's nothing else going on. So okay, that's what That's what I'm thinking. They need something to spice themselves up a bit.

Okay, Well in second place was Croydon.

Yeah, yeah, that does it. Yeah, let's bang on. Yeah that's exactly what.

Place was Manchester.

Actually, yeah, I get that because you can't go on Grinder without people going, oh, piss on my tips and call me fatty or whatever, and I'm like, no, I.

Just I just want to call you.

Just wanted a hand. I'll do it myself.

Never mind that it's easier, it's less, less organizational requirements.

Get people like, oh, I'm into like fisting and piss and scating and blah blah blah blah blah. I'm open minded. I'm like, well you'd have to be, wouldn't you. Jesus.

My favorite question I ever had in gradus pointing you box as in box, and I replied back to it, No, me human box cardboard. Okay, that's the reason why I'm single.

Everybody, I get it. Yeah, I'm not laughing.

I said, there's the reason why I'm single. It's clever, it's not funny. There's a very clear difference. But yeah, all this is in the top five includes Norwich, Wrexham and Newcastle.

Upon time, what are they counting as kinky?

It's basically asking people what they've searched on their X rated searches in a month.

I keep getting like steps on shags, stepmom type stuff all the time, which I'm not into, but it's the only thing that gets served to me on those sites. I've had to start, you know, just imagining shit.

Usually my imagination, like I had to in the nineties when I found porn.

God when I was at school. It was enough Troy Hovey and his hairy legs at PA anyway, Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

So some of the things that people most commonly searched with is like flash flash lights, flash lights, rose toys and boot plugs. Not going to ask right anal beads, chastity belts and sex swings. So I'm thinking that's that's not that that advanced stuff I mean my boot plugs is a random Tuesday, surely.

And how do you that's what they're looking for in porn googling porn and googling porn and boot plugs.

An't people using book plugs and slunk what you're doing now, I'm going shopping.

If you had to choose between Croydon and Manchester, oh.

I choose Manchester. But still you know, if distance is a problem. But that's all from the Buzz this week.

Thanks for that, Mike. I'm still not going to Croydon, but don't go anywhere yourself. Stay where you are, even if you are in Croydon, as we've got a game coming up in just a second for you to play along with in our Game of the week, welcome back to Cheering the Cod with me, River Scott and my good friend Mike, Benny and Rowe. Now this is the part of the show where we play USA Kazoo and this is for the man who really does blow. So go on shore off your pop.

I'm going I'm going right off day of the week. Okay, So I'm going to play a tune on the kazoo and you have to try and work out what it is. Ok are you ready for the first one? I'm ready do me okay, all right, first one, we're not doing that one. Mm hmm.

Mario theme tune.

See that was an easy one. You want to start with.

Next one, Jurassic Park? Okay, illo this game?

Mm hmmm?

What's going that's four? Non blonde? And oh is it not? Oh yeah, wake in the bonny and the step outside and take a good breath. And I got a rod on what's going on?

No, the name of the song is not in the lyrics.

When I'm waiting for a revolution? No lyrics. No, I'm not going to get it. We'll be here all what's up? What's up? Here's you named your song wrong.

Or they named it correctly, you just didn't remember it.

Okay, Next one?

Now something a torture in sweep? Not a clue? Sorry when you stick your hand right up there?

Yes, that was Texas hold by Beyond Canoes.

It right, Johnny Goods? Well done?

Yeah? Okay, how about this? You probably get this one because it's Twinkie.

That is that skinny twinkie thing, isn't it? That's rush by.

Troy Yeah, Sevan, I'm not sure what the pronunciation, but yes.

On the end, So it's Troy.

Not Troy.

Yeah, but he's putting it on it, he's spelling it pretentious, so we don't get to decide how it's pronounced. M hmmm.

No, no, it's from the nineties.

I'm too young. Then that's why.

You're significantly That is still My Sunshine by Len. Oh.

Yeah. I used to think they were saying steal my pencil for some reason, but yeah, no, it did not clock that at all. Sorry, love pencil. Yeah, steal my pencil, steal.

My red wine.

Okay, next one.

I'm really enjoying watching you, just just watching your face as you do these. It's it's a delight, absolutely no idea.

People often enjoy my facial expressions when I'm blowing things. Birth the candles, balloons, shandle bounce off. Lots of puffing required for there it was it was Chandelier by Sea, all right, because she wants to sing from the chandelier.

He I probably would have recognized that if I knew that song.

Possibly maybe Okay, I'll go for something a little bit older.

Then, mm hmmm, one more time or do you want the chorus? Yeah? Why not treat me? Come on? Oh yeah, ninety nine Love Ballons, nine and nine Glove Balloons bye, or if you want ninety nine Red Ballions.

No, it's not nine ninety bus bye.

Uh Nope, that's not who it was, nine and nine sick Glove. It's a girl's name.

It is a girl's name.

It's not a girl's name. Lisa Stacey, Joan Andrea. No, I'm not gonna get it, all.

Right, lou Begay.

What was her name?

Nina?

Oh yeah, I was never gonna get that.

I think the only song that started that song?

Okay, okay, like like that's that just sounds like a German ambulance. But sorry, carry on. How come yours has got two holes in it? I thought they were only supposed to have one.

It's a professional double ended kazoo.

Wow, that will be mm hmmm. That just sounds like someone's talking into a crap microphone. Idea.

Yeah, it's another German song.

Oh good, I'm not I'm not really up. Is it craft work?

No, it's not craft work?

Then I'm lost.

It's Barbara's Rue Barbara Barbara bah right, okay? By Bodle Tacky and Marty Fisher.

I do know, I know, I know of Barbara's bar Barber Barbara's. But I didn't know there was a song about it. I just know the little animation a thing, which is pretty fun.

That's where I came from anyway.

So is that one?

Right? O? Well halfway through this set? Now cool we are?

And you've got very excited very early on.

Because I did well for the first two peaked, peaked.

Okay, let's see if we can find some music that's more pure, shall we say? Ali no is the chorus?

Yeah?

Go on?

Yeah? Gives us sisters, I can't decide.

Correct well done. Yeah, And the reason why I stopped it is literally about to get up to the chorus when I stopped.

Yeah. I like that one because there's a line in it that's like, it's a bit convincing people to like you. Yeah, and we go. We know.

My favorite one is I could throw you in the in the lake or Fiji poison. Birthday cake. It's a good choice.

Yeah, good, I'd rather have the cake. If you're going to kill me, I'd rather die doing what I loved, which is eating far too much birthday cake.

Is it specific birthday cake or any cake?

Okay, any cake, You'll do any Yeah, it's a song from Joseph grind.

Yeah.

Wait, hang on, something about a birthday is it? No, it's no holiday, Yeah, it's it would be some on night. Yeah, that's Majona. Majonna Ja tis.

Mad Jena is a mad Madonna. Mide had a baby Madjona.

Somewhere over the rainbow.

Lie. Uh oh, no, pressure, but you get this wrong, and you've been kicked out of all union memberships.

It's what's the name?

Is it?

Yeah? Yeah, I'm having a drink and then I'll tell you if you know at home, write in and tell us.

In three or four weeks, by the Romel's got the posters, we will still be guessing.

The post bless yous, anyone still send letters? I was said Julie Garland, But that's not right either.

Who was it? Go on? Then, Julie Garland.

Just names names of old ladies.

You said, Julie Garden, but that's not right, and it was was it? Yes, Julie?

Okay, I think I was thinking of the dude who did it first with the banjul That's enough.

Now coming up after the short break, we'll get all craft and crafty queens. Julie garl.

Welcome back. You're still watching Chewing the Cud with me, River Scott and my good friend Mike, Benny and Rowe. And now we're getting glue gunhappy with crafty queens.

Well, we're not using a glue gun after the incidents of last time. You're on in the super glue that's.

Come off now. Ah, But it was that I only had paper glue to my hands for like two weeks and I got all my fingers back like then separated again after a month or so. That was fine.

Yeah, So we're not going to trust you with hot glue, all right, fair enough, we have going to, for some reason trust you with a pointy thing. What we're going to make is we're going to be a lovely way of casting shadows with candles. Okay, okay, so you think like paper lanterns kind of thing. Okay, really simple to do. You have it in front of you cup, Yes see you pe can, I see you pee? And what we're going to do is you're going to put a design on on your cup.

You're gonna do what?

Put a design on your cup?

Okay?

Okay with lots of little holes, right, Okay, what's gonna happen is that we're going to drop a candle and light it and then the light is going to shine through the cup.

And okay, why not?

So yeah, crack on, pop yourself a design on, right, So you're just going to push and.

It's and it's normal, way up, cup doing it upside down because that would just be that would be that would be.

That would be, that would be a hot flame with with paper on top.

That's all right, fair enough, they would have a flame, am I doing? Oh goodness?

Just poke holes through? What kind of pattern you're.

Going for the same one as usual for a knob?

Oh? Okay?

Oh h is that not? Really? It might be a slightly odd shaped knob because this is hard going.

Well, every penis is beautiful in its own way.

I disagree it's in its own way.

Don't want to eat it.

I've seen some really ugly ones. Right, My cup's given up.

The cup's giving up? How did your cup give up?

It's just not it's not got what it takes to cut this place, workplace environment.

Look, you're not't watching hard hat looks. So you watch. You've got a cup, you put you get your fingers right, okay, and you put your fingers inside the cup right side your fingers in, okay, And when you do that, the space of your fingers, that's where you're going to be poking the whole, not on the finger.

This ends in place.

Well, don't poke it into your finger, post it into the space you slide your hand in with the fingers open.

Could you please dial two of the three nines now? Just to save time quick?

Can someone tell me the number for nine nine nine.

It's not helping, is it not?

Okay? You can't leave you a lot with everything, can we?

You sound just like my parole officer.

Yeah, I think is that. I don't care where you were at seven o'clock last night. I entered the noise it makes us you pierce it so slightly.

Violence, the violence happening, I feel like I'm.

Definitely pissed back. Whang out what happened? There a record when happen.

So just make sure you have to stab yourself. You're where where your fingers are when you're doing things? How are you not? This is where you go for twinks, isn't it.

I'm just I'm just happy to be involved. I don't go for twinks. They just the easiest to pick off from the herd destract.

Like a Randy Cheeter.

I school with someone called Randy Cheet.

Really no, that's a shame. I wanted to google them.

Oh mean, spiky things not pointy anymore. I mean it happens to all as we get older. But I thought I was at least going to get me cup done.

Aw h.

M hmm. It's hard to penetrate at some points. Let's not and say we did, right, I'm almost done?

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, there we go.

That will do. Okay, your design, my cup knackered.

But yeah, okay, I've got for a slightly different motive. I've got for a bunch of hills.

Looks like a nob to me.

I do that so you and he's old in a cup? Okay, so yeah, and then you could do it all the way out, all the way around if you so wished.

I don't do you know? No, no, thank you, no, not even a little bit, no thank you?

Are you sure?

Yeah?

Quite sure?

Okay? Okay, fine, Well remember if you can't get any peen, any regime or anything between, you can be a crafty queen.

Yah.

Let's see your finger.

Then that's not damaged. No, no, no, that wasn't the one I hurt.

Okay, that's the one you hurt. If you can't work out which one it is you hurt, it didn't hurt, right, So I'll give you a candle. Yes, So we're going to pop our candle into a holder. Okay, they go, delicately done, and then set the candle on flame.

Set the candle on flame.

Yeah, because setting it on fire. This sounds wrong.

Not the cup trying not to it's not.

It's not.

I'm gonna this is gonna third degree. But there we go.

What I can't trust you with anything? Come if we bring down the lights?

Oh no, no, no, everybody?

That pretty pretty? Oh to do it? I thought that was that thing that's lovely. So imagine sat out on it. What give it to me? Give it to me. It's hot on the end that you gave me.

That was kind of right.

So somebody's out on your balcony or your patio or gazebo whatever in the summer's evening, and you could have a little flamey thing that's very nice.

And presumably if you've got one cup, you've got several, so you can have a drink and another one just.

Straight straight from the bottle.

That's true.

I have seen you do that before, so you don't just set fire to stuff.

You don't.

But you also do something podcasting, right, Yes, yes, yes, there was a tenuous.

That was a link to things. Yes, I do a podcast. It's all about knobs and sex and ship like that. Think of it a bit like Sex and the City if Carrie Bradshaw was queer and good at her job, okay, and liked knob jokes. There's a lot of knob jokes in there. It's basically well, it's called probably true stories

Yeah, many years, many many, many, many many years.

And it's very fun. It's been going on for a long time. You learn a lot about me very quickly. So if you want to know some kind of filth, then you can go and do that and uh yeah, where do we find it on the internet.

Where it's specific on the internet, or just and shout at it.

But if you want to just listen to my dolset tones then all the usual places, Apple, Spotify, all that malarchy. If you'd like to see my handsome face, well, I'm telling you nob jokes. Then you can find it on you Tube, but yeah, probably true. Podcast is what you search in all those places, and the logo is a kind of pink triangle thing, little pink triangle chust. We're gay, and I have guests on who tell their stories and ship too, so it's not just me, mostly me, but

I don't have sex virgin, only ridiculous your face or your personality too.

Oh, it's definitely a combination of all.

Right, then more underneath all this as well as car crush. Really yeah, sad, sad, but true. You're a brave soldier.

But yes, my podcast is available on all the places. You can listen to me telling silly sexy stories if you like. And I'm also on the socials. Just search for River Scott on instamgram and Blue Sky is the one I use now.

Yeah, because are you not on Twitter anymore? No, because it's gone a bit right wingy, just a.

Bit like there was a bit noughty. Yeah, so I am on if you want to come find me and say hi, do that would be nice. I am generally quite bored, so it's nice.

Well that's almost the end of the show for now on screen. Now you can see how contact details it is at the cod TV on social media, and if you want to catch up with previous episodes, you can binge us on YouTube. Just look for Chewing the Cutter.

Thank you for watching, and we will see you next week. Well you will see me next week, but see someone next someone.

Don't be as handsome as you are

Probably yeah, more technically adapt Bye.