New Year, Old Clips - Chewing The Cud - S06E01

You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Benni and Rome and Lee Robertson.

I said, out take, I hardly know them. Oh, hello and welcome to this. I'll Chewing the Cud out take special. How are you doing? Lee?

FA's are middling?

There's a middling? Are you excited to have a look back over the past couple of months?

So excited that there is moisture coming out of every single orifice I own?

Is that not just because you weren't sure whether it's a fart or a shit? Yes, you just need to make sure that you're you're fully evacuating because doucheing can be very.

Bad for you.

I do douche You do it regularly?

Or do you do it regularly or.

Be careful because you'll disrupt your biome and I'll end up with ibs. I'm not just stick some yogurt up there.

That's what I want to do, baby yogurt.

M and I have to cut that out. I want to stick baby yogurt up there.

Have you never heard the phrase baby yogurts?

Not from someone that's not in prison? No, you know what is a baby?

Right?

Or my bossy? I hate that word.

I absolutely hate that word.

I'm still recording right.

In here.

Hello, Hello, can you hear me? Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?

Yes, I hear you, Clem Fandango.

Yeah.

Dean wasn't sure whether I was doing that joke until I dad that joke.

Yes, I hear you, Clem Fandango.

Yes, I hear you, Clem van Dango.

I'm just gonna push that button, can't can hear you when you take your king finger off the button?

You're welcomely, stay right there is come up after this short break leeve. Gosh, it's his brain.

Get ships his brain in celebrity news.

We retired this morning. You're welcomely, stay away.

Brain. I'm going man, he's about to ship his brains out live on television.

You're welcomely. Oh no, you're welcomely, stay right there. It's coming up after this short bracing his brain. I'm looking at me.

Hurry off is touching cloth? Ah, you're welcome me.

And I can only imagine Daniel Craig's bottom. I can only imagine Andrew Garfield's bottom. But I think Andrew Garfield would have a more playful bottom than Daniel Craig.

Look at the face. He's got a serious bottom.

You can tell he's got an inflexible bottom.

Nothing worse, Andrew Garfield the flexible bottom. Yeah, playful bottom, so playful, flexible fun. So Andrew Garfield, shall we rename this rather than the show is just bombs that people like dominic But now I don't know how this could be what Andrew garf Field is comfortable? So excited now I presented the show with a teenage.

Boy years beautifour years Dan, You're great, So there's there's.

Yeah but yeah. Set to launch in next year to twenty twenty five, you'll start to see Caprice in bottles. Now they already do the cordially bottles, so you can dilute your on Caprison, Well, I can't do it. I can navigate it to taste like Caprison.

You've not got the ratio right.

No, even I followed the ratio as a canon thing and it just doesn't taste the same. I think it's because it's not in a.

Pouch I do.

There are certain drinks I can drink in glass, and certain drinks I can drink in a mug, and certain drinks like there is something about that to it.

I know technically there's different like brandy glasses and aerating the thing and all that kind of stuff.

But I wouldn't have imagined it was that different for a cordial and a different Yeah.

Yeah, you do a line of cocoff a prostitute stomach, it's very different to do it off the table, and that makes it's so nicely to our story of the week. Sorry, I'm gonna have to redo that anyway because I can't have that in.

Oh no, please, you can bleep it now.

That's a good lie. It was a good light and it will be great on YouTube. And but I'm not putting out on It's such a shame.

When he does something actually funny and he can't use it.

We have your face on, right, dickhead.

You love too hard simple things?

Cop nos? God that can we disrespect the country more?

Please don't do that? No one, keep still.

Geo Impulsava.

That's definitely like jk Rowland is going to get on that right into box.

Where isn't she that horrendous?

Oh no, no, no, not not she them them them the New Year. I have decided that every time I reference JK Rowling, I'm going to give them gender neutral pronouns. I love that for you because there's nothing that they can do about it, right, and it still doesn't mean that they are. It's like anything other than a woman.

No, they can be used to refer to a woman, a person who is choosing they as their.

Pronouns and enforcing those pronouns as J. K. Rowling likes to enforce their pronouns and other people.

Petty about it, guys, be petty about.

Always be petty. If you can't do anything well useful in the world, be petty about it.

My methods.

Once you have covered in in them cotton wool, m h okay. Lisbon is also a gorgeous city with its tild covered buildings, historic trams, and nightlife scene that's truly electric. On day one, why not start off in the Prakadov Comico, stroll through the Alphama district home to sell alcome choice, Sorry that.

So you go do first? Yeah?

Whoa, but I'm keeping it down here on the downlow.

Go in the.

Lisbon is also a gorgeous.

I can't got that now.

Lisbon is also a gorgeous city with this alco I hate you lee Ah.

The first word in the world is panties. I hate the word panties. That's horrible, Capri. So how do you feel about Capri better than I took about panties?

Caprison. It's something you sticking a kid's lungs box, doesn't it. I didn't know where you were going with that.

Not very concerned, very quickly, and then very relieved, very quickly.

Welcome back to chewing. The catechanslaughedly. De things because that's what this outfit needs. Another layer of plastic.

It needs another layer.

Well, stop, more plastic, that's what this needs.

More fire hazards.

Well actually, yeah no, because right now, right now, Dean's going with these hands and that's all we're going to say after the noun recording, like Auntie Shirley's got pissed at Christmas. Lisbon is also a gorgeous city with its tile covered buildings, historic trams, and a nightlife scene that's electric. Yeah, so what should you do?

Well?

On day one started stro through the Alfarmer district home to could just.

Say okay, I'll do the first one. Then yeah, yeah, no, I count I'll just do the topic. It's it's yeah there, Yeah.

All bottoms are beautiful, All bottoms are valid, but moving on, moving on, stick around because next up with something completely different.

We've got Mike in the buzz just dick stare right there, because come up next we have more outtakes. Welcome back to cheer in the good and now it's time for our best bits, our outtakes and some things you may never have seen before.

Hmm yea hmm.

You scoffing. Yeah, it looks like a particularly cheering nothing.

Very true.

Nothing. Oh got one?

Yeah?

Go on.

Now they're in the cupboard by on the left. That cupboard, there should be something there. If not, they're in the other cupboard then the left.

That's right.

I have no autistics now.

Wrong, Yeah, I can't even pronounce a word. I'll not be corrected on that very thing, squirting.

With the old not even a word showing people righte procritical, isn't it? What does that word say? Professionalism? M saying is one thing on an autoky that still understands. Pronunciation is an entirely different thing. Yes, written words nobody can see voice, isn't that people here?

Right?

He's so angry about this.

Jeez, there's all the stuff there. This is all Pal's angry about.

Geese there's all sorts that's going here anyway.

What is more useful when it's broken? Don't be rude.

What is more useful when it's broken?

You will?

You will? It's more youthful when it's.

Depends on who you ask? Are you youthful? Are useful?

Huh?

Useful?

Useful?

Useful? Were able to be used when broken?

It's broken?

An egg?

It's actually a he No?

Actually yeah, an egg?

An egg?

We'm actually shut right, I'm going out on a limb there.

Oh it's not. But I was hinting towards him, saying.

Not one's hymen.

It is a made up thing, because it's I need to mention the word high at least once a season.

Have we got it? This season?

Done?

Just done it?

Because last season it was that song nothing Breaks like a Heart by Malice Iris. Nothing breaks like I said, hymen and the drag Queen as they got. That's a much better answer that I was going to give. Okay, the next one, I'm easy to lift, but hard to swallow. I easy to lift but hard to throw? What am I?

Yeah?

Okay, spinning again? Sport. So for that one, we're going for food and drink, which is cinnamon comes from which part of a tree?

You are?

Cinnamon? Cinnamon comes from which part of the tree? Cinnamon? Cinnamon?

Um, I don't like cinnamon.

Sorry, I miss misread the question. What's what flavors does Lee not like in the spice cabinet?

Cinnamon?

There you go?

Woo, that's it.

That's it done.

Ah, stick around, hello, stick around as next we go in continent, I mean incontinental. I didn't write that, and should.

We do it again with the otak moving? What do the numbers eleven, eighty eight and sixty nine all have in common?

Nice to get that out there. Eleven, eighty eight and sixty nine they can all represent.

People, and I need to understand your workings.

So eleven, I guess, would be two skinny people, okay, eighty eight famously two fat ladies okay?

Sixty nine sexy number?

Why is it sexy number?

You know?

If you don't know why, I can't explain it to you.

I never understand that, because how are you supposed to look like? Is it's now? When your heads hanging off the bottom of the bed. Anyway, they all read the same when they're upside down.

Ah, yes they do.

That's fun.

So it's not a palindrome. It's not similar to a palindrome.

Very similar to a palindrome, almost the same thing as a palindrome.

To be able to see Paul, not sea Paul, because nobody wants to tissue.

Is that the word you were trying to.

Moment about Paul. So I'm trying to see Paul. Not that anyone else wants to see Paul. It's just an unfortunate coincidence that he exists. Been very vitrially towards you to stay Paul. No, it's not that I don't know why it is. But it's not that.

It's just your general demeanor.

It's just I think they've just irked to me somewhat mm hmmm from what you said before on. Oh that's that's for later.

Oh that's for.

A new game.

Rattled.

Same thing.

Those crisps are calling to me, like, what an incentive to make the show the best it could be.

Look, look what the reward is off. I'm not being sarcastic.

That sounded like I was taking the bits, but I mean it, like the crisps are like, come to me, dominated come to me.

They just tried bits of vegetable.

Beautiful beaut That's all I speak.

And seat right, you're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Benny and Rowe and Lee Robertson.

Well, so get those nuts away from my face. Were just yeah, it was just a little bit slow. Leave it there. I know when I start talking to shift it because yeah.

It's a little bit slow. I would not allow myself to have this in the house. I would not, would you know I would not. I would never. I would never go out again. This would be my only active eating it.

Oh my god, stop it fantastic?

What do you.

Generally just busy having a chocolate pudding orgasm? Be with you in a jans is the answer to that?

Ches Hawks this, stop it?

Stop it. If I had this and.

Chesney Hawk's bottom, the combinations I could come up with.

Just being risky.

He's a clean boy.

Chess chocolate if it's said chocolate in the bottom, and he's like, well, I know it's chocolate, but subconsciously could it?

No?

No, I just anyway, right, Chesta might watch this. Behave dominic, behave, behave. It's not going it's going to someone's.

I love it.

One more bite, they go, that was great. They just all right mm hmm, and the quick amunity here thrives. You've got iconic bars like CC slaughters and darcel XV.

Way to Go feel x V, separate XB slaughter House, show houses.

Don't check that slaughter house.

It does slater, CC slaughters is not actually the name of it.

CC slaughters, Yeah, okay, slaughterhouse. Come on and Gage getting to die right pers And when you're saying Darren Brown, am I thinking that.

The magiciany psychic?

Yeah?

That one, that's God and Brown.

There's not been a prime minister for like twenty.

Years and eight caused the financial crisis, caused the global back the market crash.

Well, to be fair, he didn't know he was in power when it, so it's his fault, okay, Darren Brown?

Yeah, I know that's a weird one.

It's not.

Look if it's what what you go, yes too, that's perfectly fine. Not michaeup of tea. You should ask that question before you I'm.

Going to ask this question before I say something else more silly than that.

Are you ready, Mike?

I was written by Ai. Oh fancy, No, it's been spread. You've stolen a the fee from a writer. No, we haven't because we don't pay any writers.

Uh, go make yourself a lovely cup of tea and join us. Right back. We've got more outtakes, Welcome back to Cheering the cord, and now let's go over with some more of our bloopers, troopers and double dupers.

I'm keeping.

This is compand to welcome back in one, Oh dear double trooper. That's it gonna fine?

Like, oh, John is right?

Do you want to keep keep on?

Because that's doing one another welcome back to Welcome back to done so far?

Do you know who he is?

John?

I've written John and it's Joe.

I think I don't know.

John Lock is Joe Locke, famous from heart Stuff.

Jounlock dad might be his dad? Who knows.

We are?

We're free bailing the entire thing up until the autochy. Oh no, so I do the welcome to the clip show, all right? How you doing? Lee a right or wonderful? And then we'll go we'll just leave it and I we'll do another one of those, yeah, okay, and then we'll do some two goodbyes. Actually we'll do a stick around, stay watching, stay watching, stay watching, stay watching, stay watching, stay watching. I was still you still got me because you're pull in the face. I don't know whether you

I was thinking, I'm gonna either thought or ship myself. I'm not sure which one.

That's why I was getting that face. Wasn't thinking. It was a confused ship or corporate jargon speak and I get it.

Oh yeah, it was cringey.

It's old.

When I started in the corporate world ten years.

Ago, wasn't his first job Ladies and gentlemen and others.

You don't know what to know what My first jobs were.

Coleman, rag and bone Man, chimney sweep, Oh you know what for offa match stick? Boy surprised. Nobody is shocked.

My first job was to light it.

Boy was to light the fire a coal fire in a in a primary school, in a in a Victorian a primary primary school, preschool, Victorian building of Victorian Tier just.

Admitted that you're in the Victorian times lighting up fires for primary school children.

Pre school Bribey governor, pre school children.

What is it, tidy, Tim?

I feel like, well, I think I've got consumption.

That's because I didn't open the flume.

The it's the flow.

I didn't understand the science of it.

Still don't you still understand? Fifty eight? Sorry to keep making you younger anyway, get on.

With the news.

So what's going on?

So god, taste of anything?

Are you questioning the emissions of my boys?

Well? Tattoo water is what was just said down my ear?

What is tatty Watterly?

I believe tattoo wata is a very northern, a very northern description of seamen, but it's not a good one because one doesn't want to be spurting out tattoo watah.

Yeah.

So you've got a lovely little dessert that you can wear your friends with and it's all natural, including the seamen.

It is, indeed, yes.

And if you want something delicious, remember everybody loves fanny preading back cub.

It's not it isn't actual? Colm?

Is it not?

No? It's not? What is it? That's not? Colm? You don't produce that.

Much com no, because the one I produced earlier, you don't.

You don't produce that much cum.

Yeah, uh uh, I guess what I'm gonna say now? Yeah, I know exactly what you're going to say.

Now do it.

Then, I am look all the way up to the hair load.

It's really not up to the hairline list your hairlines up here, it's not oh this is this is an intervention.

Gone. I honestly do not know why he come here from his abuse, because.

It's better than the debut. Should get her home. I don't know that's why you.

Have to come here for it.

Welcome up, hey, welcome up, Welcome up, don't mind that, don't mind.

That that was me. Get conviious is welcome back and coming up?

Welcome up.

It's always one night stand.

Welcome back. Now, get yourself looped up proper.

Because Daddy's coming for you.

Absolutely.

And remember if you want to send any videos to leave, drop into his d MS.

No, just pissed.

I just got.

Clippingly looking at it, going just pissed.

Stick around.

Well, then every time a pregnant woman sim swims, technically she's a human submarine. Oh hello, and welcome to chewing you could you're like chewing your cord, not mine, not there. You're right with or without consent? No no, no, oh my head today.

Yeah, just do the whole show. What words at the time.

No, I might.

I'll the word there once and then I'll just use it all six seven dwarfs in my head. Hi, Hello, how are you not too bad? Full of cheese? Yeah, so before before we started recording, I had some lovely mar mite cheese in the fridge and niff out come back empty packets here. Oh I didn't know they were both for you. There were no labels, labels. Oh, I'm sorry, Mike. Just oh I didn't No, no, no, not moodylicious.

So really, cheese is really nice, selfish.

I'm so sorry.

Now we get Now we get an apology.

Oh dear.

Anyway, what have you got for us today, Mike? Today I have a story about things people search for on websites on trains, and then we see what's cooking in the kitchen with everybody loves Fanny. I don't know because I've gone on to skibbedy toilet.

Oh not the skibbety toilet.

Mad Ris bro rap rap.

Yeah.

And I'm just getting into the thing.

In the least sexual way I've ever said this phrase.

I cannot wait to get me pants off. I can't.

I'm struggling to work for where to put like my hands and my arms because the waist pants are horrible.

It's vile. It's not just your chimney, O coming down.

Welcome back to cheering the cord. I get yourself primed because we're coming at you with some more with clear clear. Just sticks to the same thing, Blake, Stop trying to be clever. Stop trying to think up things.

My mate Billy has got a ten football. Oh oh hello there, welcome to chewing the cards. Billie Eilish, No, not Billie Eilish, She definitely doesn't have a ten foot one. Well, he did until he showed it to the girl next door. She hit it with a rake because she thought it was a snake. And now it's only four foot four?

Would you still impressive?

Oh?

He's off.

What have you got for us today, Mike.

Well, today I've got the evidence of something we've been doing wrong four years and I'm going to do something wonderful and crafty.

Queens.

That'll be a stretch.

I'm not talking about your backside, a yawning hippo.

And we even have a game to play in our Game of a week.

But on screen now you can see our social media contact in folks, just look for at the cud teap.

Go and get it off a chocolate bourbon and have.

A bourbon bourbon? A bourbon?

Is it?

Simon love bond?

M h, You've just got enough time to nip off and gets off a custard cream and join us for some more of our best bits and outtakes.

What's wrong with the bourbons and mixing up of it the custard cream. I'm offer a lovely chocolate biscuit to one that's lovely but not.

Chocolate carameald No, no, no fruity.

No, what's a fruity bickie? Welcome back to you in a good and now we're getting ready for some more of our interesting bits.

I like that it's been predominantly nineteen nineties and US seventeenth century melodies. I think I was overconfident when.

I claimed to have any knowledge of any seventeenth century music. It's green sleeve seventeenth century.

No, yeah, just the seven inch version, not the disco cart that was?

That was the twelve inch came later. I always start with a seven.

Okay, well, next question, Well, I forgot.

I misread that question. I'm gonna have to read it again in my head would you rather have a flying carpet a car that can drive underwater?

Oh, flying carpet or cars can drive underwater once, maybe not very far they can.

Now the thought of.

What is in the ocean is absolutely terrifying to me. Eighty five percent of the ocean is undiscovered. We don't know what's in it. I ain't taken my car down there. I've got no desire to be under the water whatsoever, especially.

Not in a car. We all know what happened in Ocean Gate. It's bound to happen.

Oh it was the billionaires who got in a tiny little capsule submarine.

Oh the one, and that was controlled with real Titanic.

Yeah, they went to see the Titanic, controlled.

By the terrible wireless controller, which where they got so far away and it disconnected and they all sank. And it was a tragedy because people died. That is sad no matter what. But there's now more people can planing or doing that. I'm sure there are more expected expeditions planned.

I just now have this image of mentally drawn a breath of people that died in the Titanic nineteen twelve high quite a spine, not much, not much, not much.

When it was the last two.

Okay, so we've also found out that you're on my wavelength. That's not good for you. Sorry, just have it your moment.

Why are we doing this? Are we are we doing? Are we doing a holiday advert?

Yes?

Okay, because you know all the places that have been Okay, we're just going to be putting stuff up. So research, it's all done for you. Just read the words.

Just just shut up and read the words.

It's I know, it's an easier tune into. So this is a request from one of the channels that the sky By holidays. Yeah, love it bucket. Have you ever watched those two gays on the cruise?

Can't stand them?

Oh?

They can stand it?

Yeah, that's what I'm going for, But not as as awful that treack topping that use an ice cream propping you, douche Gray up.

The horrific thing is there is probably somebody who's doing that, some blown from it.

Yeah, why am I not doing this stuff? I need money?

You can I mean sell your socks?

Oh no, I'll be asked, are your undies?

I like my undies? Yeah, but just buy ones that did cheap and wear them for a day and then you can sell them, but.

I like to be comfortable too much.

Oh well, a bit of hard work. No, no, no.

Although I did freak out because I thought i'd farted acid.

Eve an alien.

Because yeah, I've got yeah, how they're going to put me, They're going to put.

That's going to eat tune?

Sorry coming out of your ass.

Because I had some weird marks on the on the back passage of.

Are you skinny? Undis right because.

They're dark onndies right, because then if you bitter follow through about me, because you find and I just I don't realized that I dropped them on the washertie where just in a white washingtle bit of bleacher gone side, but take them my pants off?

Going what the.

Aid o bleach or something? This isn't good, this isn't healthy.

What was in my douche?

Finally come to that, Yeah, yeah, I'm not an alien because I'm not going to have a transsexual operation in prison. Did you not hear Donald Trump's speech?

I heard him say they were eating cats and dogs in other ways.

They're going to force transsexual operations on legal immigrants in prison, illegal aliens in prison.

What does why?

I don't know, but I honestly got. I got a mental image of a literally a little gray alienate.

I don't want to be a girl.

I'm a bus.

Don't give me a ship.

Sticky your fingers, show me cock off Roger the alien?

Oh is it?

Am? I? Welcome to sash around.

Fighters behind the tooth pace.

It's very important to have shoes, bags and gloves.

Welcome back, and now it's still have a look at something and welcome back. Just because I've just realized this one was going to because moving his hands, he went, what comes back?

Come on, I can smell your nasty pussy.

Don't have a cat. Glenn close just saying hello, welcome to chewing the cord.

The chat bit was just eluded.

There it was, it wasn't there. What have you got for us to die? Chat? First? Do we have a chat?

We have a bit of a chat for how you doing? What's going on?

Okay?

So how are you doing?

You? I came as soon as I heard you did bag.

Care. That's why you're wearing the outzhiber flower.

Because I'm an advocate. I'm an ally advocate. I'm an ally to the bewildered.

I'm not saying anything.

Mm hmmm, that's what have you got day for us? Then? What you got day for us? For us? Somebody in Yorkshire? Just come now watch the year in that which I founder fiver? What have you got for us today?

Today? Well I've got to do it about someone.

Hi.

So yeah, I've made it.

To the Christmas time type of thing. I need a clue before second right, Hi, sure I have made it to the Christmas time and location.

I have a.

Welcome back boy.

I think you should do that just once.

I just did it. Welcome back to Chewing the cud and now we're enjoying some more of our best bits outtakes and thanks. Welcome back to chewing the cud. Freak of my penus. There, did you see what I did? I started, I stopped and I was just like, look at my look at my cock? If you go missed hello there right now? Oh wait wait wait sorry tabard?

Oh no, I thought I got away with it.

You'll need to set your microphone auts well now missed because youve got tabard over it?

Why huh?

Well, if you hadn't tried to get away from wearing a taba, I want to insist on the hat. What it's called an escalation punishment that's an exclamation punishment. Is that when you catch a kids smoking, you force them to smoke more till they're sick. Yeah, I think that's actually technically called bullying.

Welcome back, and yes, yes you're watching Chewing the Cud. I'm going to play a little game now, aren't we. This one is for the man who wants it, says x x x and actually anything really say something? Roll it back then, babes said the hooker. Welcome back, and yes you're watching Chewing the Card. I'm going to play a game, a little game, and this is the one for the man. Why did you do call Kenneth Williams at start? Yes, well, I nearly said this is a hair pop.

I can be it's fine, but why did you do?

It's case Williams.

Well, welcome by always been a bad bully.

OUs focus, Thanks for watching. She's not great. Thanks bye bye, it's not great.

Thanks fine, Chase, thanks a lot to you. By me, I don't know