You're watching Chewing the Cud with Lee Robertson and Mike benmin Rome. Put your hand in your heart. I'll tell you, Kenny, what can you feel? Nothing? That's a titty. You're feeling a titty? Titty is a girl? Yeah, Hello, we've causing it at an inappropriate moment. There. Hi, I'm here with Mike, who is trying to let people know he's now not very very old, very very old. Fort Wow.
I have the answer to life, the meaning and everything.
Do you as a hit Tracker's reference? You don't hear? No? No, do you want to share it? It's from hitch Trackers guy to the galaxy. Okay, so it's it's your I know. It's the day that you they mixed all those chemicals together in a test tube and created you.
It's a nine month anniversary of going see I should have swallowed.
Oh yeah, wow. Well, what have you got today for us, Mike on your special day, Special day? Special?
Well, I have some news about finding something large in your bed after a night out, and then I get to do something that we've done before in a particular favorite and teach me a lesson.
We even have a game that you can play along with too, but now on screen you can see how contact details it's at the cut TV on your social media and if you want to catch up with previous episodes, you can always binge us on YouTube look for chewing the cud.
And you can see the names of people who have promised me fifteen pounds in cash for my birthday going along the bottom of the screen. But now we have Lee in the showbiz.
How do we feel about programs about serial killers?
As in people eat big balls of it?
No, killed lots of people.
As long as it's dramatized. I'm okay with its dramatized of a factual.
This is what they did. Well, did you have you watched.
The Twins one the Yeah, that was a challenging ranking parts.
Oh did you almost feel a little bit guilty? Oh no, it never felt guilty. Oh okay. Well, well, we're coming to the end of the trilogy of the three serial killer movies. So first of all we had well, Who's the one that Ate Dharma? And then we had the Menander's Twins, And now we're going to get ed gain and it's called Monsters season three. Okay, So it's a little bit controversial because it's it's it's been accused of
kind of eroticizing serial killers. So in the third one, we're going to have Charlie Hunnan He's stole my life anyway, He's going to be playing Ed Gain, So we got picture of him here. You see. This is how it kind of gets a bit of flat to kind of like say, he's right, Murphy's kind of like Homer or ophicizing the characters. So he's going to be playing Ed Gain, who Yeah, he not a nice person in that incarnation
actual Ed Gain. He was so Edgain was known for Robin Graves collecting body parts as well as murdering people, and he was suspected of killing lots more people, but it was never confirmed. It was refreshed with the Butcher of Plainfield and when he was arrested there was put into a mentalized institution and died in nineteen eighty four. So basically what what Ryan oh and he said, Ryan's SeaQuest there, but it's not Ryan Murphy said, was that he was He felt that he was one of the
first celebrity serial killers that kind of media covered. He said, nobody ever heard of anything like that before. And it's a very interesting story. Hmm. So, yeah, he's kind of done a couple of these series before and people have kind of like gone, like you said, you felt not guilty, but he's a little uncomfortable.
Sometimes it was a challenge, yeah, but not always apparently.
In the Menander's brother's story, the part where one of them is in the shower and you see his whole Taliwhacker, it's an actual real Taliwaker. It's not a lot prosthetic.
It's like Saltman. You get to see the whole thing you do.
Indeed, we've got we've got a picture of Charlie through the years, Charlie almost all my life.
Yeah, yeah, he's and you can kind of you know, he's that I had the same hack on everything.
A young gentleman, two, an older gentleman. It's been filmed that she's come up later this year. Okay, cool. Yeah, so you can save yourself up for that. I shall, won't you know. So that's gone through a bit of a comedy okay. So it TV has announced they're going to do a new trans comedy series. It's going to be called Transaction, and it starts Nick Frost, who is kind of like a is a the Bears like Nick Frost. I get the attraction of Nick Frost, but it's just
not for me. No, not for me either. I mean he's straight, so he's not he's not gay, but the Bears dislike him. And it also features comedian Jordan Gray, who has kind of like worked their way up from so we like stand up and stuff into this this kind of role. So it's described as a transit. So the character is Live which has been played by by Jordan which described as a trans egomaniac who causes havoc
during her night shift at a souper market. So the initial synopsis is having worked there for the bossu Sama Frost after he inadvertently offended the LGBTQ plus community with an ill consive marketing complaint campaign. Lives soon realizes she's unsackable and sets about turning the story into her own personal playground and Lucia and chaos on everyone and everything around her. So it sounds quite interesting, So so Jordan third,
and I didn't realize this. I first appeared on the fifth series of The Voice UK in twenty sixteen, becoming the first the show's first transgender contestant. Semi finals and then she was eliminated. So we've got a picture of her there looking stunning at some awards the bafters. That's all the gold statues statue. What she said is my one true goal with this show is to create something as timeless as my breast and punts, which is what
we can all just hope for, isn't it in life? Yeah? Yeah, So then we've got so saying that Nick Frost is kind of like a gay bear. Yeah, that's kind of I don't think. Yeah, I get it.
It doesn't it doesn't tickle my.
Pickle, no, but I get it. M So, it's currently being filmed now, hasn't got a release date, but it will be at some point this year. And I think it's quite good because it's not it's not a program that is examining what it's like to be a transperson. They're just a trans person and that and it's about their life.
A story about a person who happens to be transit, and a trans person's narrative.
Yeah, and get the kind of sort of bad points of their personality rather than kind of like saying that, you know, they're an angel. And so I'm quite looking forward to that. So that would be quite interesting. Oh so last bit of Showby's news last year, you could not move for celebrity to look like competents happening all around the globe. We've covered it before, so we've had we now see, I don't know who this is, you man Jeremy Allen White, an actor, Paul Mascalmo. But one
has gone ahead. It's the one direction, so saying Malick, double competition. So we've got a picture that so on the big picture, that's the real.
I was about to say that looks real, lot like, Yeah.
That's the real, and then we've got sort of pictures of the contestants. So it happened in New York in Brooklyn. Didn't go as smoothly as organizers had hoped for with with the lesbian finishing runner up. So that is the runner up. So despite it kind of widely being publicized, that didn't didn't It wasn't hugely well tended. Somebody already it said, are the lookalikes in the park with us right now? So that the lady who came second is Celinka, And she said, I think you should vote for me
because those lookalike contests are very male dominated. And she she got she's got a second place to I got me thinking, if we were to have a celebrity lookalike competition, what celebrity do you think we would kind of look like? So I used a generator, a celebrity generator.
You used a celebrity generator. Yes, I've put a picture of us in to a thing. Which pictures did you use? Did you use Hydrio's pictures of me like you normally do?
Well? Well, say shall we let's bring let's bring up the first slide? Who had done? So? This is you? So yeah, I'm sorry.
It's my birthday and this is what is put on screen. I demand that to be better.
I took three different photos I did. Some of those are pre pandemic. Well, it's not my fault. You don't keep up today, So I need I need different pictures. That's better. Oh you did it yourself, didn't you? No? I did it clearly, Yeah, clearly there was there was a bug in the system when it did that. I have a sneaky feeling that mine may have been adjusted. Oh no, well, look totally. Jackson doesn't wear glasses.
No, Lambert's handsome, and then trans Crawford John So yeah.
By brothers, brothers from another mother and different generations. So you've so is there is there once follow? Because I'm not a cruel person, I'm still not convinced that there's going to be one with the witch from in his world, from Terror Hall and from Gimme, Gimmy, Gimmy. That's all for this week. Showby's news. Well.
Absolutely always nice to know that you're up for being compared to Lindaa Hughes or super Old.
Don't you speak ill of the dead? You? Well, I am dead. Get inside, stick around because after this, it's Mike in the Buzz. You're watching Chewing the Cord with Land and Mike, and now we go over to look into the deeper parts of the Internet with a birthday boy. It's Mike and the Buzz.
Do you remember a little while ago we went off and did a float tank experience. Yes, I'm not going to mention the time, don'try and how it was being isolated that sort of thing.
Yeah, floating in tepid salty water a weekend four inches.
Yeah, you didn't enjoy it?
No?
No, And I thought it was okay, but then the intrusive thoughts.
Kicked in, Oh did they? Yeah? Was it that what happened if I drink some of this water? No?
No, it was more you know how they said, I'd put vastly on your cuts and things, right, and they go.
What would happen if I didn't have one? I didn't.
I was concerned it by anyway. It's a story about a man who spent three hours in a century deprivation room, Okay, okay, and telling about how it was just an awful experience, right to the point where people have found out that they've been using it as a torture device. Okay, So putting people in a completely sealed environment for hours on end right as a form of torture, so much so that it's become against the Human Rights Convention. So he to share people what it was like when he spent
three hours in there. But you couldn't do it. He couldn't complete the full three hours.
When he said cent through deparation room is it was it just like one of those rooms that it's pitched black with no sound, no light, nothing, You're just in complete darkness, complete darkness.
There was completely dead and it was it was aiming for three hours, right, no sounding, it in no light, no nothing. He's just on his own inner room. Right, he started to hallucinate. Right, he had also had intrusive thoughts. Right, started to feel anxious, It started to feel depressed and just really took him over to the dark side.
Of the world. What didn't he just come out place?
Well, he did, didn't complete the full three hours. He went, this is getting back too bad.
Let me get out. Nobody opened the door. They said, you've got three hours.
It wasn't you on the other side. Well, you're lear the other dog. Now you said three hours, you're doing three hours?
Okay. Well I don't really have a he amount of sympathy, okay, because you know, he chose to go in there. He didn't have to stay in there for three hours.
Didn't That's the thing. He got out after three hours. There'll before three hours.
How long did he stay in there? Then? Ten seconds? Did longer than you? Didn't worry?
It was about an hour and hour of forty minutes.
I don't but halfway through, I don't really understand what you get out of going in because it doesn't sound like it's if it was like you know that there was twinkly stars on the ceiling. We had a bit of any you're playing some way your way and you're playing Wow, you have an enema, then that's that's yes, I'm all for that. But just going into a completely black room, it's a bit of a no brain. It's not going to be good for you. No. No, So
don't do it. Don't do it. People, don't do it people at all.
No. But moving on from a man who was locked in a room to a man who kind of wish is that he was. Have you ever had a surgery go wrong?
Yes?
Multiple, multiple, one faceless.
No, not go wrong, but not no, not go wrong, no, not go wrong, not go wrong, not go wrong, but no. No.
This is a story about a man who's won three hundred and seventy five thousand pounds.
Litigation case. Okay, after his invasive injections ruined his penis. What? Okay? So the invasive injection of his penis. Was that something that had to happen because it was a medical need or was it because he wanted to pump up it went through his own choice.
So it was to help combat erectile dysfunction hmm. Okay, which is a medical thing.
Hmmm. But was it a medical provider who injected his dingerling. It was a private medical provider. Was it was it Sheila from down the road in her back bedroom. It was Sheila.
How do you know Sheila?
Everyone knows Sheila. She don't wanted to Sheila pump it up?
So yeah, So the medical provider of Newman okay, yeah, new mail, sorry, new mail. So yeah, gave him a series of injections that weren't correctly done. Okay, it was a sixty six.
Year old man. Was how the injections gave the injury? The injections? Okay, okay, Well at that age, cock crops and ability, Hell, no, is it.
It's not inevitability. It's more common as you get old.
Yeah, right, you've got no sympathy for him, have you? Well met, I don't know the full story. I kind of understand that if things like pills, he couldn't take them because cometimes people have that issues with the heart, they can't take those pills. But generally you'll inject something into your cock and balls. It's not gonna go well regardless. I should know. I am that person. Your person just sailor, aren't you? Glitter? Glitter didn't work?
You were you were hoping that you've called glitter, medical grade glitter into my shaft.
And why would you do that? I just won't, you know, why not? Why not? Why not? Let's try it. Just put a bit of glow into it. But it didn't work.
Glow it's glowstick. Surely sounding with a glow stick.
Anyway. The man that what happened to his to is Johnson and Johnson what happened to his dick? Did it explode? Did it go?
But yeah, what happened was it he went into this establishment and it was an untrained person that did the injections.
Yeah, so so it sounds like something not very pleasant happened. I'm imagining ballooning, ballooning, ballooning, possibly some necromancy, necrophilia. What's the what's the word when some necross necro says thank you gallery? What's trying to bring it back from the dad? Nec necrophilia? Yeah? So I mean, can that money buy his cockback by a massive dildo? Moving on from.
That, yeah, and if you'l likely want to buy a massive buildo, why don't share that with us? We are at the good TV on social media and that brings nicely, thankfully over to our story of the Week.
Have you ever woken up with something in your bed? Oh? Many times, like what you know. Sometimes it's it's a horse's head, sometimes because you've got bored after it the rest of the horse. Sometimes I once o, I say I'm gonna share. I'm over sharing again. Once went to a little bit of snacky snacks in the bed, chocolate, peanuts, work with in the morning. I thought it was up in the night. I don't know what A bar of chocolate. Yeah, yeah.
And there was a while in my late twenties early thirties where drunk Mike used to take so we'll make a kebab for the morning, Oh lovely, and could look with it.
Oh nice. So I would wake up quite often with a keb with meat on your face.
No, it was still wrapped, okay, nice little wrapped up like a little baby.
That I would wake up and go, what a lovely story that was? Like the Nativity. Though, I brought you a bit.
I bring Frankkinsons, I bring to Mark ketchup, I bring garlic mayo. Oh well, it's about a man in Leeds who woke up after night out to find a four foot snake in his bed, an actual, actual snake, not a person that's not a nice person, not a massive dildo, an actual slithery snake.
Was it his own snake? And where had it to be? Where did it come from?
Well, when a mummy snake and a daddy snake love each other very very.
Much, I know the physiology of it was created, but where did where did the actual snake originate from?
So I believe it was an African snake.
So just popped on a plane, bobbed over. Yes, got in the first ben they could it could find.
Yeah, it's a corn snake, a corn snake, corn snake.
But where did it come from? Though I don't know? Leaves is not it's not the natural habitat of corse snakes. No, it's not. So that's the thing we do. You can't tell where a snake is from. You can't go I love, and you're right. Will you never get information on these stocks because they don't know that information? You like, get my interest, and I ask, you don't know what's going on?
Well, they don't know where the snake is from.
Where are you from it? Doubt road? It's a snake. You don't you don't like waking them on? Said, it's a snake himself. Did that come from words to that effect? Was it from a neighbor? Was it? Does it even a block of fats? Had it come down from somebody's because it does happen, it does, does I'm not lying it My partner he lives on the bottom floor flat as a person that lives on the top of flat.
He has a snake. Well, it's not around him. And one day there's knocking the door and you haven't it anyway. I'm sorry, man, I've lost my a snake. So if you see it, let me know. Don't touch it, Just don't touch it. Don't just let me know. And it was all what kind of snake is? And it was like a baby python, didn't really fat. Then about six months later he was downstairs in the cellar lifted some washing desiccated snake.
Okay, I called the RSPCA to take it away and the r SB response was going, oh, I'm sure that was quite scary in the morning.
Was it lying out straight next to him, because that means it's trying to measure him to see how if it can eat him? Measure Do they lie they lie flat and you think, oh, it's been really and I can talk, but then what it's doing is going well. I can fit all of you inside of me. And on that note, that's all drop from the buzz this week. Thank you for that, Mike. I can fit all of you inside of me.
I'm a stick, very gappy, very very gappy.
Stick around us. Coming up, we have a game to play in our game of the week. Welcome back, and yes you're watching Chewing the Cord. We're going to play a little game. But before we do that, we've got a little gift for you, Mike, because it's your birthday. A couple actually a couple very very popular. So this one, this is from all of us here at the Cord. Quite exciting.
It's been wrapped and everything while I'm just throwing in a plastic bag. Get it out of the shop now paying for it will be a sex toy.
I mean that's appropriate. I mean it was very difficult to find one that you didn't actually own.
Little robbery things and oh no, it's a oh it's a gift for George really, so he's had a little muddy pause.
You can can fill it with it, you can fill it with water, and he's a little pouring and clean mmm. Then you can put it cocking afterwards. Thank you.
That's very very thoughtful of you all to get that sex toy slash thing for the dog you welcome.
And then then then a viewer has sent something in for you. Yeah for anthrax. Wow, you know it didn't cause a rash when I opened it. Well, I'm not opened. I don't know what's inside. So mister mister Brian Higgins from Cleethorpe's has said that and then said, I for the man who has everything, I thought that this might take you in another dimension. Okay, I see what it is.
It's not a new box, but a little sack.
Oh that looks that looks intriguing. It does mm hmmm, what's that? Then? This is a tail, a tail as old as time. This is this is Oh, this is a boot plug. It's it's a book plug. This is a boot plug? Is it? Is? It? Is it? And Colin saying pudding wown't and some ears. I wonder I think you didn't pantomime this year? No, I'm not, was it, Brian Higgins?
Brian Higgsan Higgins is obviously because I already have all of this sort of stuff.
I'm at the end I'm very curious.
It's a book plug. I want to say that, you want to see a book plug plug before I'm just a traffic code like.
So the idea is, oh, that's very shiny. It's supposed to be shay. So what that goes inside you? And then you put the ears on, and you've got a tail, and then then the little tail sticks out of your bumbum, and then you could put a little thing and says put in, put in, put in.
I have a whole I have a whole head near pre mask.
Oh wow, don't they know you well? They do. Indeed, thank you for that. I'm going to not going to play the game.
Don't have a shit whatever the week.
So this week we are going to play a gobby game show where Mike has put something inside his mouth and for the guests what it is, which is pretty much every day of that week anyway. So one sagerella, So let's have the first one. I've got the tail in saying oh and the glitter ball was so appalled by that that it threw itself off the display shells. Yeah, but look at that. Do it? Do it? I'll just
not from that. It's return of the marc by Mark Morrison. Correct, Hey Mark, why are you always talking about your big break? Oh my god? No, I threw itrself off and they made him in a bit of a basic lady as well. Oh my god, I haunted, Haunted by the guest disco ghost. I'm oh it sounds familiar art, but I can't really remember rain or shine, John walking in the air, Red Lady Redd, Yeah, I don't know what he's saying, Superfrey, is it red dressed by sugar begs pooooo boo boo
bah by simply red. Still don't know what starming? And and then okay, okay, well next one that Olah is you might need somebody bye? More? Is it Randy Crawford? Who? Well, sure, I'm covered it, but I think the original was Brandy Crawford.
Fact fans, Hello.
I don't know that gallery. I've obviously got it here, but I don't know. Is it better? Joel? I've been mad for a long time. When did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you got that? Joe? No? Oh? Oh, greeve Ar Margins in the heart they like heart by d light pastful platform all better go west, stupid doo boo Boo or West but butter Boo? Is it is it? Is it cotton Eye Joe and by red cottage Joe? But it is in fact go West by the PSP B PSP patch boys home. Uh hello, oh this is
a share song. Just see it again? Wow, it is believe by share. There's no turning back. You haven't suddenly swatched to her the video baby baby, the baby baby, Oh, baby baby, Get up on this. This one's owner further social people that would be push it by salt and pepper. That's more. Last one.
H h La la la la la ra la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
La lah police jas woah wah wah. I don't know that one? Is it is it? Is it red next to cotton Joe? M when a cartoner Joe who long time ago? I older? I have the tiger, all of them tar ups full from my eye, all of them. I don't know what you're saying.
Aldron children Bolden couldred Golden I gorden.
On that that was the sing during stage. It was not. He's amazing danger. Wow, that was fantastic. Join us after this break well we're going to be doing a is it a lesson? Learning? In a lesson of that? Welcome back to chewing the cud. And because it's his little birthday with a loud, MIC's full creative control. So he's going to do something exciting. So let's go over to teach me a lesson. Daddy, do you refer to me as daddy? Yeah, daddy, birthday, birthday, daddy.
Oh, the fat is spreading your legs at the side, I know that's concern.
Yeah.
So yeah, So because it's my birthday, I like, I like a party.
Do you? And I like Jillian ice cream? Jillian ice cream, jelly and ice cream? Oh that could be your drag name, couldn't it? Gillian ice Cream. Actually that's quite good. Track, that's quite good.
I might have to get rid of heywoard you bloom.
So we're going to make ice cream? Oh, how marvel? I remember how we do this. We've put it in the bag and we shake it like a polar rod picture and then child.
And we do the first thing we need to do is in a little plastic bag. We need to pop up our ice cream ingredients.
Okay, so we have got.
Some cream cream cream.
So pop that into a little bag. Which one is which one is the cram, and which one is the milk?
So the cream is in the tulip glass. That's the bank glass, that's the pang glass.
The glass, what's that?
That's the other thing we're gonna just you told get the cream.
Out question pull pull the cream in there, all of the cream, all of the cram.
Don't your load of cream into the bag?
Okay?
And then in your other glass you have condensed milk. Change note which is thick, gloopy milk, which is delicious.
You want to add all of that to oh, just pop that in as well, all of that in there? Oh, isn't it thick? Isn't it isn't it? Isn't it somewhereus viscus? You wish mixture? Oh look look okay.
And then once you've got the majority of that and you won't be able to get it all in because it's thick, you're going to zip up your zip dot bag. Okay, but you don't want a lot of air in there. Take the air out as you do.
My ziplock bag has malfunk shown. That's not not that.
So there's there's there's your your ice cream mixture.
I'm just going to clear this away.
And then in another zip look bag, I've given you a ton of ice half okay. Now that's the thing that's going to make it nice and cold. Okay, but we need to make it even colder. Don't pick the bag up, okay. So into your zip bag of ice, I want you to dump the.
Plate of salt, giving you, oh the salt, plate of salt. Yes, okay, what's that? So then you don't want to plate in this, I just want the salt, so putting the plate mm hmmmm.
And then then you're gonna put your your little bag inside your big bag.
And zip it up. Okay. And then you want to get the ice around your ice cream mixture by manipulation.
M hmm.
And then you want to start shaking, shake, shake your love, just chicks, you love your love. Just hike. But okay, okay, we're done. We're done.
Very cold hands, indeed, very cold.
Frusty is leaping now if you carefully take out your inner bag. Okay. Nobody told me, but I've got an inner bag use only for me.
Yeah right, okay, I'm going to just guard the salty ice for a moment. And then carefully opening up the zip bag. Oh, I have got some very soft soft serve ice creaming.
Mine is like a milkshake. Does it bring to the damn right? Then it's better than yours. That salt and just just on the party lately, at least close the bag up the gallery. Stress about the currently on the carpet.
So going wrong. It's doing to flow. It lit to electricity. That's going to die.
That's going to electication.
Don't worry about the table. Worry more about the floor than the table. Yeah, I'm very toilet roll.
Let it roll away, that's coming and mean int t roll. No, I won't do boy smells coconut smells a cookie note, okay, my favorite coccone. I just put that down there.
Yeah, you clean up while I eat my necking. Because I'm a nice person, I've also given you a jelly.
I can't be trusted with things. Lake up. I'm going to have some strawberry flapp je ten calories. They call it jello in America, though, don't. I don't. I don't enjoy the juice, the juice on top of the jel. Come on, let the as green pull it. That's this is gonna go. Well, isn't you Oh, we said it again? Why would it again? Did it again? It's done it again? You should pull I'm just enjoying this experience. There's time. Okay. The face it is salty. Everything is salty. Why is
it salty? I don't know. Did you get salt inside your back? I don't know. This is salty.
So we've currently got a lot of screaming in the garay. What about the milk product that's currently on the carpet. I'll bring mine over in a second. But yeah, that's me teaching you a lesson. So yeah, And what people don't realize is that in that few seconds between me getting from the classroom to hear you managed to pour more cream all over the place, water all over the floor.
And now I feel satiated. That's all for this week. Don't forget. You can always find us on your social media. We are at the cud TV. Don't forget. You can also share money with me as gifts. But that's all for this week.
Thanks for watching, and we'll see you again soon.
Bye. Yeah