Fanny's Cheese - Chewing The Cud - S05E38

You're watching Chewing the Cud with Miss Kinsman and Mike Bennion Row.

And he said two can play at that game, so I told him I'll call the RSPB. Oh, Hello, welcome to Chewing the Cud. I'm miss Kinsman, and today I'm joined by the ever vescent Mike Benyon Roe.

Hi. Hello, I'm not too bad. Full of cheese. Yeah, so before before we started recording, I had some lovely mar Mite cheese in the fridge and niff out come back empty packets here. Oh I didn't know they were both for you. There were no labels, no labels. No. Oh, I'm sorry, Mike, just oh I didn't no, no, no, no movie issuous though, really what Jesus really nice? Selfish? I'm so sorry. Now we get Now we get an apology. Oh dear, anyway, what have you got for us today, Mike?

Anyway, we have a game that you can also play along with too. But on your screen now you can see our contact details. It's at the cud TV on our social media and if you want to catch up with any previous episodes you can always bringe just on YouTube.

Just look forward chewing the cud and as you can see, names of people have reached out on social media going on the bottom of the screen.

But now, unfortunately we have missed in the showbiz. So we have some lovely romantic news. Okay, do you know of the musical star Ben Platt?

Now? Who is he? He's a star of musicals? What I can't remember off the top of my head, loads of music, trying to think of what the big one is.

Dear Evan Hanson Okay, yeah, yeah, who did you play that Evan haunts?

Well?

If I remember the plot of the story, not really, It's been a long time since I've watched it. Anyway, they're very very good at musicals. They've married and Noah Galvin. I don't actually know, to be fair, because I don't really know very much about celebrity, So why I do this segment?

I don't know someone that you've seen in one thing but can't which part he plays, has married to somebody that you have no idea who it is.

Yeah again again, some of my friends who are much morefa with musicals will shoot me now. Thanks for exposed me.

But anyway, you've exposed yourself, and like in real life, exposing yourself is a crime.

Look, it's two lovely rather well known gay people getting married and then they've had a lovely wedding. Nice and that's the story here, not my incompetence anyway, Both there they are.

They look very happy. They do look like a happy couple, don't they.

Yeah, in a chippy, So they've been together for about four years A deep fact for own the back around there.

I'm not too sure that's the salient point about the story. It's something I recognize, at least these two. I don't have a clue they are. And you can't describe them to me and say one of them is in a musical. You think you know, one of.

These days I will actually get through the show of his notes without actual criticism or being picked parts.

So I doubt it.

Anyway, The story is they've been dating for about four years. They got engaged in twenty twenty two, and they've had a ceremony, and to be honest, it's quite sickening.

They've taken a set. They're taking a ceremony.

Wanted it to be like a big group hug okay, which is very very nice. They were also surprised by a musical number by their mothers. Nice doing a traditional Jewish song, and yeah, that was a lovely element of it. Platter said, we were overwhelmed with love, sweaty and sobbing most of the time.

Yeah, I'm not too.

Sure that's what you're to be doing is the part of the wedding ceremony in front of your parents. The pair didn't want to match in their suits, because when you have two males in suits a wedding getting married, that they can kind of look like cater waiters sometimes. Well that's what these guys were worried about. They got the stylist Jared Elner Jared Alna.

Oh okay, somebody does recognize. Okay.

Anyway, they designed their looks for the day, dressing Galvin in a nineteen fifties inspired French workwear look and Platt in a seventy style cream suit.

Okay, their special date. As long as they're happy, that's all that matters. Well, I'm having problems visualizing.

They say they were overwhelmed with love and that they were happy just to keep hanging out forever.

Oh that's cute until the divorce. Well, let's move on. Then.

This is also quite a short story really, but one I know that you'll be quite sad about.

Okay, thing you is dead. Oh it might be worse. Nothing's worse than Pingo da Pingu day and it's fast the scene.

Did you see the Pingo Thing movie? Now, it's absolutely brilliant. Go and have a look on YouTube. It's basically the Thing, which is a really classic horror movie done with pingu. Okay, it's amazing anyway, So remember on the show we have talked before, got rather excited about a show by Neil Gayman called Dead Boy Detectives and we very much enjoyed it. You watched it before I did and got very excited about the captain King. King is hot and I really

But unfortunately it has been canceled. There is going to be season two. I can believe it because apart from the pretty boys in it, the plot was a bit thin. Well, I quite liked it.

I very much enjoyed it, and I thought there was much scope there for doing more with it.

There was a lot of scope for doing more with it, and I think if they did half the episodes it would have been much better. Well it was only about eight episodes long anyway. Yeah, the story was that thin. It was very much a case of going, look, these are two dead guys that are slightly gay, enjoying themselves. Bit of seduction, bitslation. There was a bit of a will they won't they kind of drags artists like. There was bits missing and the storyline was a bit thin,

I thought it had room to go. I've certainly seen things that are thinner carry on for longer. Yeah, I know, but we don't talk about those people.

Next story. Do you remember the musical artist Sarde Chade, Well, yes, if you want to pronounce it correctly, I do. I am aware of Chardot's work.

Yes, so she was pretty big late eighties, early nineties, shall we say, renowned for being quite a smooth opperata.

M, that is one of the big hits. Well done.

I have researched that one. Your Love is King being a good one and no ordinary love being another one. They were the ones I could remember playing on an album a long long time ago in my early teenage years, hoping over some boy.

What when did those songs come out in in the early nineties, early nineties, Yes, teenageers. That makes sure we were forty. You can listen to music that's before you.

Were born if you're a teenager in the early nineties. I didn't say that I was listening to them in the early nineties. They were made in the early nineties. I could have listened to them in the early parts of this century when I was a teenager hoping over boys.

I will make this live work anyway. There she is.

So British singer songwriter. She like a lot of big impact when first came out, a little bit quieter recently though technically has kind of released things over a period over the time period until like maybe about five years ago, and they haven't.

Really done anything since.

So they've been coaxed out of retirement, well not retirement, but they've been quiet for about five years and they've been coaxed out to do a new song for this compilation album that is all to support their trend son Okay cool, and it's for this whole album that's got lots of trans artists. It's the track itself is titled Young Lion and it's basically to contribute to this album called Transa and it's about uplifting trans and non binary artists.

Okay, cool.

There's other artists on there as well, Sam Smith, Andre three thousands, I've load of them in ages and Jeff Tweedy.

Oh cool. That sounds like a good album. I think I might have to download that on my Apple I music thing and other services are available. Yeah, and that's the end of the shows this week. Yes, thank you. It's always nice to know that we've gone from someone I've never heard of and you can't think of, to someone that we both recognize. Well, you know, this whole segment's about celebrities. Anyway, you are welcome. Stick around as next as Mike in the buzz you're watching Cheering the

Well, there's a quite deep philosophical question there, but I believe.

So, okay, it's not deep philosophical. This is chewing the could anyway. This's a story about a lady called Lorrie Favre. Don't know whether that right, Probably haven't. It's a French name. But she has given up all control over her life to people on the Internet. Oh no, my use of telegram? Telegram, So she's on OnlyFans and she puts poles out on Telegram to say, if she's got access to the Internet, why does she need to use a telegram the application telegram?

So she's got a level of controlling that she's setting the questions.

They can also set questions, they can set poles. Okay, she has done so well out of doing this since twenty twenty two. Right, she is now one of the top selling people on OnlyFans. Right, she is in the top half off a percent of people and Only Fans making money because she has relinquished all control over all life. How how happy is she? Very happy? Because she's admitted so she said that you know, she won't do anything that puts her in danger, anything hateful, or anything that

I've not really had a relationship, but yeah, I can imagine.

Okay, I give you a hint. If you're thinking about ending the relationship, it's probably ending. Yeah, she's given up all responsibility pretty much of all of her big life decisions. She's quite a job because of the poll, right, well, an internship, but she's happy because she's making a lot of money. And she said that she's making a lot of friends and sharing a lot of experiences with people. Mm hmm, because she doesn't feel disconnected from these people.

Well, all power to us, or she's happened, and she's got those criteria about not being hateful and hurting any your wordy or don't ey think that's going to be her self harm?

Then fill your boots. Did Yeah, But we'll move on a little bit now to one of your favorite train activities, and that's porn hub.

I do not watch porn on the train. Again, I do not watch porn on the train. I do occasionally open an application on my tablet and find that porn is suddenly playing and switch off very very quickly.

Do you see the porn?

No, well enough to recognize that it is what it is and then turn it off. Therefore, you have watched watching on the train. I didn't say you're watching a lot of porn. I did say you're wanking to porn. I said you watched porn. You will seen it. Move you've watched porn on a train. Dirty, dirty old man.

Anyway, porn hubber released. There're twenty twenty four statistics of what people search for.

Oh well, is this going to impress me more than the grinder statistics impressed Lee?

Yes, because you're featured in this one. What so in Alabama, most people say the top hit was for cute twink. Oh, okay, I see why I'm related. Alaska was nipple sucking, okay, Arizona was riding dildo's. Florida was feet worship. Florida man caught. Hawaii was real crushing. What's real crushing? So someone stepping on the bollocks and not pretending? Oh no, no no no no no, no, no, no no no. Indiana was underwater sex okay, okay. Maine was hairy mature, so that's

Laugh?

We get a tissue? Please, well, duster, I really do not know why I come here for this abuse, because it's cheaper than where you normally pay for it. New York was like muscle bottom people looking for Yeah. Idaho was romance, ah as in bromance turns to porn, not romance as in going, hey, bud, well.

You know what leads you into from the fantasy can be pure and romantic.

Yeah, they fist bump, but not using each other's fists fist pump.

I think that's cute and very interesting, especially especially the nipple sunking in Alaska?

Was it? I think it was Alaska? But if, like mister, you've suddenly gone, oh, I need to pornhub, you can always share that with us at the could TV on social media. That brings as nicely to our story of the week. Now, this one is definitely for you. Okay, okay, how's your diet improving? Good? Are you getting enough fiber? Yeah? I am, yes, good. Plenty of water? I am about

Depending on how diet's been very varied, low end, top end, A couple of what end?

It's four? Yeah, okay, far too many? Toilet roll a third of a toilet roll, two flushes job before yeah, okay, right, that's when I that that that end of the range

Your key eagles and the rocking back and forth, Well, mainly just to loose on my.

Hips, Okay, to use the waterfall method. The waterfall method, yeah, oh, as in taking some in and then holding it and then it's douching. Yes, No, so pelvic floor exercise where you start at the top of your insides and flex your muscles and then move the way down.

I don't think I've had that control there for a long long time.

That still works further up.

Might might have suffered more more very joyful damage in earlier years than I care to mention.

You contract and release your muscles within okay, before you wipe, to make sure that you're empty because what a lot of the time people are doing is they're leaving stuff in there. When they're wiping, they're basically just fishing bits out, go for a little dig. It's just wiping and rubbing at that point. So it's like, remember happened playdo machines where you used to push down and a little star used to come out right, you could rub it off, but it'd leave a smear of play though behind. Yeah,

Well that's a lot of new information for me that's going to make me revisit some live choices.

Thank you, Mike. You are welcome stick around because coming up next we have a game to play in that Game of the week, welcome back.

And yes you're watching Chewing the Cud and we're going to play a little game. And this is for a man who really needs to get something in his gob, So off you pop, Mike.

Yeah, but micro penises don't count day of the week.

So now Mike has got himself ready and prepared for the Gobby Game Show where he will try and deliver some musical.

Genius for me to guess what song that is? Are you ready give us a tune? Half half la la la la la la la. Uh? Would that be Axel f By? Isn't it by? Axel? It's the Beverly Hills, seemed to Hallow all. Maya I understood that lesson than Harrol Harold Harold Harold Hallow hu Faulkner flat flap flapper, flap flatter, h liar flattery. Maya our fucking give us another one, Mike, all right, that would be the Jurassic Park theme tune John Williams, isn't it. Aw's a dardo,

I don't know the name of the song, and I don't know who it's by, but I know it's all Rusty will Mayo, Will Rusty Mayo, Will Rusty will the fun lover O.

Laa la around the world daft punk wanted Rick to get m that is is that like a mermaid having a wank all that the room? It sounded very pretty, but I know I could not identify. Hopefully you're doing better at home, but no, not not not got a clue on my friend hear Drop, well a Massive Attack.

There are some people who used to live with me that know not to come into my room when Massive Attack or Porter's Head were playing because that was my go to sex playlist.

So you don't recognize well.

Massive Attack, tear Drop.

Yeah, that kind of music was like very sexy time for me coming up to an angel. Oh mhmm. I had very sexy times in my uni years on your own every way else putting a massive attack.

On for massive attack or porter's head if that's blaring loud to cover up any moony, groany noises.

The problem was my room was next to the kitchen. Had to hold fast. Sorry, no, we just have to We just have to get the lyrics up of this song. They dropped, They drop on the fire, Fearless on my breath, night, night of matter, Dark flowers blossom, bareless on my breath, black flowers blood. It's really sexy. And it was a video of a baby being born. Well, we were watching the video. We're just listening to the sound. Anyway.

Well, for all the sexy times I had, there were not many real.

Customers, so that might be one of whom. Well ones exist, okay, math one? Oh wow Wow?

No funk soul Brother that that that would be fat Boy, Slim Throngs, old brother.

That works for If it has another name, I don't know. Huh Rockefeller Sank Yeah, I do know that. Let uh that would be Oh God, I remember their ruddy name. I know that song We'll get knocked down, but we get up again, you know ever gonna that keep me down? I can't remember the name of the band. I don't song either. No, I know it.

I know I've danced along to it many many a time, but the actual day of the day with the band has gone out of my head.

So there are people at home screaming at me. Now, Oh I'm one. That's it that one. I do apologize all I love.

No more love?

Oh you do quite well, thought I was looky looking at enjoying the performance. You could have kept going rapped up. It's Annie Lenox, no more I love you? That was another one of us sex song at about.

Who alight.

Best one? What that? Let my lap phone there? Oh?

Man?

Are that we are going for sexy times songs from a certain era, aren't we? Tony? Genuine? Yeah?

Wow?

One song a lot of frapp song. I don't know I heard that? That I when we?

Oh, I'm sure I've had the blow drop in the back of an indie bars to jumper oneber.

Sure that no one else was involved. Hennery wet and driver has got a lot to answer for. Right, that's one.

As there.

Why then I wrote heavy vert alum let for fillt fume.

Mm hmmmmmm mm hmmmmmmm.

It's a little bit more worried when you touched the ball out like that. Oh, oh, it's not a nice look, is it. It's not you know how all your lovers feel. Oh it's not a nice look. What what is our No, it's I've got a lovely arsehole. It's just covered in chips. Apparently I thought it was your faith. That's from meeting the other people who don't want the bottles properly, longman winding Road. Ye Oh, I'm presuming from the beautiful way you did it, is there a real young version? Huh?

Of your army?

Who he's getting over excited? I have no idea. You put your heart and soul in that performance. I felt the energy, but no, I don't have a bloody clue what it's called Madonna Ray of lt That was ray of light, right.

I think we better get on with something else now, then stick around as next we get our feed on with Everybody loves Fanny. Welcome back to cheering the cud And now we go see what's occurring in the kitchen. As everybody loves Fanny. Everybody loves Fanny. No, I'm not. I'm not having it because they've said that. Miss it, says me. Partner's name's Jeffrow jeffro We, Fellows names Mark. Oh, Hello, how are you? I'm Fanny. Everybody loves me. How are

Oh?

How sweet you think? I have lost eleven pounds? You've lost eleven Well done you? Well, we're around of applause. Well, you know on a television personality? Now, oh you really? Yes, I need to present a certain look. You do present a certain look. I have had many people tell me that missed presents a certain look. So how are you getting so? Now? You your cheese should be a little bit creamy, And see it is a lot creamy. Added a powder to something you'd expected to get dry. I've

I did taste it before I popped it in. I don't think I'm going to be tasting it after memories.

Oh dear.

My mom walked in on me having a wank once and she was so shocked she she just said to me, don't tell your father and walked straight out. One minute later, my father walks in, has exactly the same expression that says exactly the same thing.

It walked straight out as well. What says don't tell your father? Well, yes, well that's how you found out you're adopted. So once you've, once you've mixed up your boy better, you want to add that to your pancakes. I've got it all over my hands. Sos is a lot whiter than mine. I added the correct amount of semen. Well I didn't know. It's supposed to be just a flavoring rather of a good source of protein. Okay, and I just what it does. Just read it out in

As well as well as being a culinary artiste and creating such beautiful concoctions, do you also maybe supplement your income using an OnlyFans account?

I do sometimes get railed by a certain gentleman in a supermarket car park on a Thursday evening, but that's a hobby more than anything. M M, well, what what what? What? What? An interesting treaty. I might say that for later. Do you need to try it?

As I said, I'm watching my weight, so I'll save that for later as a treat.

Or someone telling to I do not come here for this bullshift from some wallabye. Oh oh well in for a penny? Mm hmmm, oh god, it's it's the end. You just tear that bit off, went near miss smeuth and somedthing it went limp. What does that to you, ladies and gentlemen? It is really seeping out the sides. Enjoy born tea? And does that taste delicious? It just