Bath Water - Chewing The Cud - S05E17 - podcast episode cover

Bath Water - Chewing The Cud - S05E17

Aug 28, 202444 min
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Episode description

This is Chewing The Cud! Bringing you a roundup of showbiz news, things gathered from the internet and a special feature every week. With a LGBTQI+ focus and a bit of innuendo thrown in. All this and more! #chewingthecud 
This is a re-posted episode

Transcript

Speaker 1

You're watching Chewing the Cards. You've missed Kinsman and liked the new role and when he took his teeth facults, it's actually better. It's called a gum job. I believe that it is.

Speaker 2

Yes, Oh, hello, welcome to Cheering the Cards. Ready for this week? I'm barely ready, barely I've rinsed through.

Speaker 1

How long have you been doing this for?

Speaker 2

We've rinsed through. That's an update from normal, right, it's okay, And exactly what have you got for us today?

Speaker 1

I'm apart from all with your crutch.

Speaker 3

Well, I have a story about an adult star who's making money in an unusual way. And then we have something a little bit magical in that science size ooh.

Speaker 2

Okay, and we also will have a game to play in our Game of the week. But on screen now you should see our social media contact info.

Speaker 1

Just look for at the cud TV and.

Speaker 3

As the names of people who have dropped us a lang along the bottom of the screen. We go over to mist and the show is.

Speaker 1

Okay. So I'm quite giddy and excited. Coffee. I know there were sugar sugars, weren't they I don't know.

Speaker 2

Well, I'm excited because this first news story combines two of my favorite things, drag.

Speaker 1

Like a lot of drag and Doctor Who. Okay, you look dubious. Careful why I don't do spoilers for Doctor Who.

Speaker 2

We're already aware that there's a new series coming out with Duty Gatua. We're all very excited. We've all see the trailers, and we've already seen trailers.

Speaker 1

That's a spoiler. You're not going to like this next bit. I've warned you.

Speaker 2

Okay, well close your eyes and close it and the rest of us, you at home and me, we're gonna have a bit of fun in the new series. Jinks Monsoon is going to be playing one of the villains. Oh, I can see you're fuming already. So now when I see Drinks Monsoon on the screen, I instantly know that that's going to be a bad person. But which bad person doesn't matter, because I now know that Jinks Monsoon

is playing a bad person in Doctor Who. So when they come on screen, if they're being nice to a child, not punching a puppy in the face, I still know they're a bad person.

Speaker 1

You've spoiled it, Doctor Who.

Speaker 2

I haven't spoiled you just told me about Davis sported. Well, it's hidden as time. I just don't shoot the messenger.

Speaker 1

Always shoot the messenger information if the messenger is shot, I'm innocent in all of this.

Speaker 2

Well, this is this is well publicized, the bit that is news about it because everybody knows this, so it's not a spoiler. The name of the character has been suggested, not revealed, suggested and apparently the character is going to be called Maestro. Okay, now what is my stro Italian for? We may have a new Master. Now I'm not too sure whether this is a suggestion to put us off the scent, and I'm not too sure whether Jinx Monsoon really will be playing a new version of the Master.

Lots of people are saying that this is probably a misdirector from the man himself. But yes, they will be appearing in an episode, the second episode on the eleventh of May, called the Devil's Card and to really drive them mad, it's going to be a semi musical episode featuring the Beatles.

Speaker 1

Going to flip this table going, well, it's my job.

Speaker 3

No doctor, who spoil us. That's a one rule. You can say, wafful if you want, just no spoilers.

Speaker 2

Some of us can enjoy Doctor Who for how it's presented, not being upset about what's been presented. There's a reason people have trailers. It's to get you excited about what might come. Excited about what might come. I don't know what might come. Is the element of surprise, which you have just robbed from them.

Speaker 4

I've not robbed I've not robbed you. You've stolen some of my joy. Moving on, Okay, what's next.

Speaker 1

Let's going to say wins this next thing.

Speaker 2

Let's do something a little bit more your speed. A teen romanes, teen romance, romance, teen romance, team romance, young love. It's a team romance. No, we're not talking about those videos you google. Next Hamster, that's a whole different thing. Do you remember Sebastian Croft who was in Heart Stopper?

Speaker 1

Is it he played? He was playing the bully. He's not in it anymore. He's left.

Speaker 2

Okay, yeah, so he's gone on to then, I think, yes, if I remember correctly, he's gone on to do another project. It's going to be on Prime Video and it's called How to Date Billy Walsh and apparently it's all about a love triangle. Seems from the synopsis to be a heterosexual one.

Speaker 1

But yeah, heterosexual gout appropriation there as well.

Speaker 2

When I came out, my dad couldn't say the word homosexual, and he would say the word. He couldn't say it physically or emotionally, just both, just he emotionally couldn't put it. Just sounded like so whilst I was going through probably one of the most crisis points of my life, I was laughing with.

Speaker 1

Its because he couldn't say the word.

Speaker 2

My dad couldn't say the word either, but I think that's because he chose the words.

Speaker 1

I'm not going to repeat them.

Speaker 2

Yeah, no, but yeah, I can't say the word heterosexual apparently. So anyway, he plays somebody called Archie, a plucky, hapless teen who has a big secret.

Speaker 1

Not that, not that.

Speaker 2

No, he's in love with his childhood schoolfriend Amelia, probably is Amelia is falling over Billy, a brawny new pupil.

Speaker 1

Okay, why are pupils brawny?

Speaker 2

I don't know, but yeah, there he is, and that's that's the show. Apparently a Sebastian, in reflecting on this story, has given a bit of romantic advice. Okay, if anything helps him, If you ever get into a love triangle. Be nice for me to just get the one partner, let alone.

Speaker 1

Your line? What love line? Right? A dot on the Yeah, yeah, I know what kind of circle you'd like anyway.

Speaker 2

Sebastian says the advice I give he'd probably not be able to take himself, but he thinks you have to be really honest and strong. He advised, put your heart out there and say how you feel, and if it hurts you, move on. It's better than being stuck in a not knowing situation. I'd like to say, bollocks, utter, utter, bollocks. Don't tell somebody how you feel about them. Otherwise they walk off on you on New Year's Eve and leave you crying in the rain. That's happened to me twice.

Maybe don't tell them on New Year's Well, you get pissed New Year's Day.

Speaker 1

You tell people that you love them.

Speaker 2

Well, that's if they've come home with you that night and they ain't anyway, Never had that problem. Yeah with me, I'm just a sad wanka who goes home and enjoys a box of Kleenx CLEENX. Well, you know, if you are your own love, you want to treat yourself the barn one anyway, sticky residue behind.

Speaker 1

So one last story for you. There's a new movie. Well it's out already called monkey Man. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2

Do you remember Dev Patel from Skin Yeah? Yeah, a slum dog Millionaire. They did quite well out of as well, didn't they. Well they're in this new movie.

Speaker 1

I've seen the trailer and it looks so kick ass, like really kick ass. It's action.

Speaker 2

Okay, it's it's got that flavor. And I think the plots, I think that what are you giggling for? You said action by brain work, the light of the stuff.

Speaker 1

You're not getting so mean to me, I'm gonna leave and never do the show again. It's an action film.

Speaker 2

It seems to have this revenge plot going all through it, and it's very much a film about the underdog, or so, Dev Patel says. The main protagonist that he plays as a character called Kid, and he joins a group of trans and gender non conforming characters to fight the elite that's oppressing them. Basically, it's all very much set in India and the community over there. Have you ever heard

of the Hidja community? No? Okay, So it's in the trans debate is very Western centered and very bonkers about it being some mad new thing.

Speaker 1

In other cultures.

Speaker 2

Transcend gender non conformity is a long established It's the third gender, and they have a community, they have cultures, they have like pastimes and and ways a bit like it's an established group in the society. It's not some new mad thing that some writer of a children's fiction book needs to get a nickers in a twist about. So when making this film, they really wanted to make sure that the ide apologies of not pronouncing this properly. The Hidjura community is a society of insects, trans and

other third gender groups who live across South Asia. They are largely removed from the wider society, but they have existed for more than two thousand years, and dev Pateel this has been their director directorial debut, I believe, has made sure that they're part of this film. He sums it up by saying, we should be fighting for one another, not against one another. For me, it has become rigid over time when you look at the old carvings and

these temples in India. The freedom, the sexuality of it, the philosophy was so ahead of its time. I wanted to dive into it and make that the law of the film and I can't wait to see it. Not just because yes, right on with all of that, but it just looks like an amazing like the action sequences look stunning, really genuinely stunning. So yeah, that's out in cinemas. Now go watch Monkey Man. And that's all for the show bus this week.

Speaker 1

Thanks for that, missed.

Speaker 3

Always nice to know that as a monkey Man not doing spoilers about one of my favorite TV shows.

Speaker 2

You're welcome, so stick around. Next, it's Mike in the Buzz. You're watching Chewing the Curd. We've missed and Mike.

Speaker 1

Now let's go deep into the somewhat poorly lit web as it's Mike and the Buzz. What have you got for us? We're doing crafty queens again this week. No, we're not doing crafty queens. Can you make out a bit of old sacking. This is a design the top, Thank you very much.

Speaker 2

I look quite sexy and this might be why guys don't try and champ up.

Speaker 1

I did say that.

Speaker 2

Yes, toilet habits, Yeah, do you have any particular quirks when using the lavatory?

Speaker 1

No? I just use. I'm not like one of those people.

Speaker 2

You know, people have poon knives and things or bits of pains. Have you never heard of a poo knife? Like when people have like a little button knife next to their toilet to scrape away any you know, little chunky bits after they've been from from where from the basin?

Speaker 1

Oh right, not from you. I just think that's not clever. There are there are people that do that. It's really weird. I mean, I've heard the phrase everything's still if you're brave enough. But well, it's only a butter life.

Speaker 2

It's not like yeah, but anyway, and then people use rags for tissue paper so they can wash it again and things like that.

Speaker 1

Okay, so I know of some.

Speaker 2

Weird toiletlet ads but the toilet habits but no.

Speaker 1

Not me.

Speaker 3

Well, this is a lady who has basically Terrandams said we need to save an our water bill. Mm hmmm, so has brought out a rule for her partner that you only flush after number twos.

Speaker 1

Oh, if it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, wash it down.

Speaker 3

I know that rule, yeah, and it's had some interesting responses on the internet. There's like flush the toilet you did, Yeah, does your toilet not stink? And he actually answer going, yes, it does. It would warmer month as well.

Speaker 1

All.

Speaker 2

No, see, I even make sure I put the lid down when I flush, because obviously when you flush it all and that can get your teeth brush.

Speaker 1

I don't understand why people's.

Speaker 2

Toilets are in their bathrooms, if you get what I mean, if you're saying if.

Speaker 1

You have a toilet in the living room, because a bit of a conversation starter, but well, I have a bath in my bedroom. Yes we know, yeah, because you're living in nineteen seventies, pawn. Yeah, I have a bathroom my brain.

Speaker 2

But I do think the toilet itself should be a separate room, not not not your bathroom, okay, because flushy, flushy and just germs generally. Anyway, Yeah, see, I think a toilet should be in the same room as the shower because when you're having a.

Speaker 1

Rint through, it's just it's there.

Speaker 2

Yeah, okay, I don't poop in the shower, but yes, anyway, So are you pro or cones con con con con con con? I get the principal, and I'm all for ecology and saving waters, but no, no flush, you want to save water.

Speaker 3

You could have one of those toilets that's got the wash base in the top, so we wash your hands and then the it goes into the top of the the.

Speaker 2

Toilet, so when you flush, it uses that water. I've seen ones where they'll have fish bowls in the cisterns.

Speaker 1

That's quite cool. That's going to be a bit of a problem when you flush the toilet and the fish. Oh love, it's a pretty little girl. They are designed to not flush the fish. So how is that ecologically sound? I'm not saying it's ecologically sound. I was saying it's pretty What I.

Speaker 3

Was explained was an ecologically sound idea because it reuses the water, well, you know, gray water usage.

Speaker 2

Moving on pregnancies, mm hm at the moment that's pregnant. No, don't cast any yespers I wasn't not like the flowers. So this is a news about a Stingray called Charlotte Deluded Dirty sting Ray, Stingray deluded dirder. Somebody's older than they look, sting Ray, not.

Speaker 1

Older than you look. Oh that's me, that's so mean. I'm only twenty nine doubled. But this is Charlotte Stingray.

Speaker 2

Okay, who has people got a bit worried about because she's gone missing.

Speaker 1

Charlotte, the StingRay's gone missing. She's back.

Speaker 2

She had gone missing, right, But she's special to a lot of people because she is a pregnant, virgin stingray, an immaculate conception.

Speaker 1

Yes, there she is.

Speaker 2

Jesus has touched well, no, God has touched the sting Ray. It looks like a really badly made pancake.

Speaker 1

Do that's what they look like? And they're not killing Steve Irwin.

Speaker 2

Or as you are a doctor who fan aha, Lady Cassandra, Yes, only they have a top side that's not the same as the accent.

Speaker 1

There was that a time where she was talking out of anyway.

Speaker 2

But let you see, did we blur this bit out? We can't be sexualizing animals on this show.

Speaker 1

We're not sexualizing. We're pointing out the floup. But so where are they they? If that's the flup? Is that how many do they have? A toy? Is it like a multiple birth or one at a time?

Speaker 3

If the said it is possible because none of the men that were in the tank with her are able to reproduce with her because of their size.

Speaker 1

Oh they big boys, little boys. I just had an image of her on a sofa with five big stra standing behind at the moment they got very jealous. Thought then amost like you're on a train suddenly. I'm never going to live that down.

Speaker 3

But it's called parthenogenesis, okay, which is where they can basically reproduce themselves. Okay, it can happen with some some insects as well, but linking into Doctor Who. That is also how they had opposed reproduced through parthiogenesis.

Speaker 2

Ooh, I thought's quite cool. I've not watched that episode yet. He spoiled it for me.

Speaker 3

You've not watched an episode that's like ten years old, it's been out for a while. Acts your own fault. This isn't a teaser or something that not yet happened.

Speaker 2

Anyway, if you want to interact with on social media and not saying anything about Doctor Who, because not beyond yet it's at the coud TV on social media and ignoring mouthing the planet.

Speaker 1

Watch it right. Pretty is nice to our story of the week, and this is a story about a TV presenter who's been bludgeoning to death by chewing the cud mark. This is a story about a lady called Bell, Defene Bell, that is a name. Is she's an adult worker, should we say, on the internet.

Speaker 3

Who rose to fame in just pre pandemic because she was selling her bath water right for fifty pounds a bottle. And she said to dirty old men right, well yeah right, she's making lots of money out of it, so she was quite happy to send them a bath water.

Speaker 2

No, it harmed as long as it's not harming any you want. I mean, fill your boots or your bath I'll drinking.

Speaker 1

Are they drinking it? No? I don't know are they drinking it?

Speaker 3

She didn't care a rubbing giving her money for bathwater that should have let down the drain.

Speaker 2

So and did she actually do it? Has it been certified or is she just running the tap and passing it over to them.

Speaker 3

No, because it's it's not clear water. It's quite clearly had person in it. Yeah, but she's come up with a new money making scheme. Oh this is not her first No, no, no, the bathwater was the first thing.

Speaker 1

Well so I think only fans was probably a her. That's the second thing.

Speaker 3

Oh, she realized that people were playing for a bathwater, she went, oh, I can do sexy sexy two. Right, she has commissioned a company to make a very special limited edition exactly in her likeness, sex doal. So she is now a sex doll you can purchase and have run people be sexy ten with.

Speaker 1

Well, again, as long as it doesn't harm anyone.

Speaker 3

I mean, I don't think it's likely to take over the world. That's like, give me your money and I'll chuck your cuck off.

Speaker 2

It's just a sex doll whatever people like really, but I thought it was a brilliant way of saying, you know people who can watch me and they can now interact.

Speaker 1

With me as well. All power to her, I say, yeah, being asked to the gallery if it's waterproof and where you can buy one.

Speaker 2

From, I think gallery might have some questions to her answer with their partners involved.

Speaker 3

So so Bell define she's a gamer girl as well, and that's how her very aesthetic. So she comes on playing Xbox and stuff and then plays with the Xbox.

Speaker 1

And I think all power.

Speaker 2

It helps that she's not completely unattractive young lady. Well, if that's what you find attractive. The lady bit is the bit that is a turn off for me. You don't have to motor boat. You can still find her attractive as a as a human being.

Speaker 3

It's like I like protection of Anthony Gaudy because I start humping the cigarette familiar.

Speaker 2

I don't like the Xbox control she's holding well because it's pink. Is that is that the is that the line in the sand for you?

Speaker 3

They're not having an OUTI is a problem for me, exactly, both lying face Dan Pilgrim, what you're waiting for?

Speaker 1

But that's all from the bulls this week. Thank you Mike for that mental image.

Speaker 2

Yeah, then stick around and if you dare, because coming up we have a game to play. In our game of the week, welcome back, and yes you are watching cheering the cud.

Speaker 1

We're gonna play Uza Kazoo and this one is for you, Mike. It says something funny on the autob Q Day of the week.

Speaker 2

All right, then, Mike, you famously tell me I'm rubbish at playing the kazoo, and you're right, So show me how it's done.

Speaker 1

See it's easy, it's really not. You hold it into a plastic jaw playing the magic kazoo. That's why you can play it crack back.

Speaker 3

So all you do is you go la la la stick this in your face. That's all that happens. It's just you try and play it like a flute. Anyway, it's a mystery to me anyway.

Speaker 1

The game, the game. Are you ready? You're going to play a tune? I'm gonna guess what tune is a you going trying to guess it? Right? Okay? Are you ready? M hm hm mm hmmm. Can you give me a clue? It's quite modern modern. It's quite popular on social media for doing a dance challenge right now? Oh, it's got in it? Oh? I think?

Speaker 2

Is it also famous on TikTok at the moment because it's also been famous.

Speaker 1

In the film recently? Maybe would it be Murder on the Dance Floor? No? No, it was Texas Holden by Beyonce Texas. Yeah, I don't really know beyond very well. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 5

Okay, okay, give me another one. You look like you're having a whale of a time.

Speaker 1

It's great, true. Can I have a guest from the gallery? Please? Not a clue?

Speaker 5

No?

Speaker 1

No, well, that won't get it because it's not been in the hip parade. I'm not going to get it either. I'm sorry. Like this, this one's I'm usually good at this. That's what you said.

Speaker 2

It's little boot tank or a little booth tank by Paul Russell.

Speaker 1

You have a little booth thing. I don't care. Give it down what you do to say, girl, I know that one.

Speaker 2

Okay, yeah, I don't think I've really listened to the chart since nineteen ninety eight.

Speaker 1

Okay, next one. Then, I'm just not trendy. We know, I'm classic matured.

Speaker 3

One of those funny correct, one of those words is correct, right, m hm. Lady in red, you're gonna hate yourself.

Speaker 1

Give me some context. It starts with one one thing on one thing, starts with one thing again, and then some persons singing.

Speaker 2

He keeps singing, and the person knows mm hmm in some more words, okay, waiting person goes m hm, and it goes to the chorus.

Speaker 1

But in the end doesn't even manner. In the end, it doesn't even matter. Of course, even gave me the title of it. I'm aware I was there at the time.

Speaker 2

I'm ashamed of myself as a player, as a fan of rock music, as somebody who enjoyed actual music at the turn of the century.

Speaker 1

I ask for forgiveness. The theme tune to mister Ben, you've been.

Speaker 2

Gone a wearing the school type. It's not the theme tune to Grange Hill.

Speaker 1

I'm Canadian, I'm a girl, I'm wearing a school tie. It's the early two thousands. Oh, Avril Levine Loe and skate Boy. Yes, that was a little bit after my time, but after your time. M h the best song of all time. It was my theme tune for a while, so you better get this. It was my theme tune for a while.

Speaker 2

I used to go to rock clubs and people that all pointed me and and not actually in an offensive way, in a yay you're you're our gay kind of a way. Nancy Boy Plasmo Yes, one of the best songs of that time, and I went. I went to a very good rock club when I really enjoyed in Manchester called Satan's Hollow. Yes, I know it well, very much. Enjoyed my night there. I went up to the it was a choose a song night, so you go up to

the DJ say i'd like. I went up, I asked for Nancyboy by Percebo, and he pointed to the entire crowd and said, look around, there's not a single person here.

Speaker 1

Who was born when that came out, Jogne.

Speaker 2

I was mortified, absolutely mortified. I felt like a very sad old man who had no right to be in a nightclub.

Speaker 1

They used to play a poptastic in the rock on the rock lunch. Oh, such a good song when me and I met David with that would walk in and it would always play it because I would just to go eight my son. Yeah, so it's a song about being a prostitutor. Okay, so we really found the level. We found the level? Okay, alanis moria set and ironic? Yes, yeah, we've found my level.

Speaker 2

People are watching the show that aren't as old as missed. Just have a quick Google search and go right. Okay, these are iconic, So if you don't know them, I do suggest you go home and Google search. And it's not being an uncultured job. This is history, but remembering Lincoln Park. Look, I'm old, dementia has set in. Okay, you're mocking the afflicted. You know when you play this zoo, can you not look like you're smoking a pipe in an all timey move from the nineteen fifty I used

to smoke a pipe, you can tell. Yeah, And it was the thing was.

Speaker 3

It was in college as well, because as I was in the pub, right, and it's about when you could smoke inside Pulp's kids, right, And I realized that if I had a pipe, I could get more nicotine inside me while pudgularocatonic than if I struck smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 2

You you were just being one of those It's a bit like the guy who turns up to the party with a guitar. No, no, no, The thing was you were trying to be all in trendy and interesting.

Speaker 3

I was wearing double denim and a lot of glitter and smoking a pipe because it's the best way of getting a nicotine hit.

Speaker 1

Right. Did you get the song? No? No, I was too amused by the vision of you. And you look like Popeye.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Good arms, I'm all right with that right of cancer.

Speaker 2

You've got very strong forearms as well. It's true, Spans, I'm not stupid. It doesn't use both at the same time. It's not that, but it's not been at that endowed.

Speaker 1

I do, just not on my own.

Speaker 2

You wouldn't know that missed because it's been over two years. It's been over two years, been over a year closer to two. Besides that one night. There were that I made up for it. There were many at a time.

Speaker 1

Was it more than twelve? Oh? Yes, it was? How many? How many are we talking? You know?

Speaker 2

I said you should go to Grand can Area. You really should go to Grand Area?

Speaker 1

Yeah? Are you in that that Porner with anyway? Probably? His answer that was Nick Grave and Gayly Minogue. A brilliant song. It was, it'd be lovely if you'd actually played it. I did. Yeah, there's a good reason.

Speaker 2

It's fine. That's enough for that. I think stick around as Next it's Mike and that size.

Speaker 1

That is.

Speaker 2

Welcome back to chewing the cut. And now we learned something we did not need to know. It's Mike in that science. That is, because it's the same every week.

Speaker 1

That science. That is. What do you know about indicators of fluids?

Speaker 2

Damp patches on trousers when I've not been able to get to the bathroom quick.

Speaker 1

Enough or you sneeze too hard.

Speaker 2

I'm not that old yet, Thank you very much. Maybe maybe talk to the gallery about that thing.

Speaker 3

Yes, you've already told me the virtues of an adult nappy, just for the confidence, he says, So what we're going to do?

Speaker 1

Body com Sorry, No, it's not for beards, it's for poosee.

Speaker 3

So what we're going to do is we're going to use an indicating fluid that all tells whether something is an alkaline or base or an acid.

Speaker 1

Alkaline base or acid? Oh? Base? Is that what this is? Yes? Snort it if you want. Base is another way of saying alkaline. Okay, okay. So what we're going to use is we're going to use the lovely red cabbage. I do like a bit of red cabbage.

Speaker 2

Because what you can do is, once you've cut your red cabbage on Sunday roast or however you right, you can then use the fluid to do these tests. Yes, okay, So the first thing we're going to do is just pop the white powder to one side.

Speaker 1

Is you've got a glass with some very hot water, so be very careful. It's very hot. Oh, which is a bit warm. It's very hot. Okay. That's a lovely glass for a toddy. It is what I wanted to do.

Speaker 2

I want to get the red cabbage and cut it up into small pieces into the hot water because that's going to basically break up the surface air cells that were released the indicator.

Speaker 1

So are we talking teeny tiny. It doesn't really matter. The smaller you make it, the more you get.

Speaker 2

Okay, So it's just about I have used red cabbage, not for experiments like this, but doing I've used it for like doing dyes and stuff, because you get some beautiful red liquid out of this after you've cut some red cabbage.

Speaker 1

You do, and it makes a nice space for wine.

Speaker 2

Cabbage wine. I shall, I shall get you some once I make it. I'll make get you some peapod wine. I'm getting very very ferminent.

Speaker 1

Do not touch it.

Speaker 2

The gallery have had some of my homemade wine. Yeah, one one of them got very drunk and had to be carried out of my house, which they were drinking it like pop.

Speaker 1

So oh you want load foods in there? Well what a fair amount?

Speaker 3

Yeah, so some people may or may not be aware of I have a distiller's license because we all learned new skills in the pandemic, and mine was useful.

Speaker 1

While you're all making banana bread, I was learning how to make actual spirits. So if you do bring me some of this what the.

Speaker 3

Gallery referring to as benzene wine, I can make it stronger.

Speaker 1

Oh well, the last batch that one of our gallery members tried. Was that strong?

Speaker 2

Even they like put the glass down because it was basically paint stripper.

Speaker 1

I do make very strong wine. That's good, but yeah, I can then distill it. I did a home brew of coffee vodka. Ooh, that does a sound nice. Was very lovely, but also ninety percent proof.

Speaker 2

But I will I will trade you. I've got some apple wine ready in a barrel to be the candle Calvados, and I will also try to be making some peapod wine. That's if the snails and little bits and grim things slugs eat all my peas again like they did last year.

Speaker 1

Oh isn't that a gorgeous color? Purple colored always that is actually gorgeous. You should you should have enough in there now. Oh I love that color. That's beautiful.

Speaker 3

Okay, what we're going We're going to let that steep. Okay, I got very excited. You can tell he from Yorkshire steep in a brow. Now on your plates, you have a white powder, yes, I do.

Speaker 2

Okay, it's bringing me back, giving me back flashbacks from the nineties.

Speaker 3

It's what we're going to do is we're going to see whether the ketamine is alkali not acid.

Speaker 1

Alkali, not acid. We're not really What I want you to.

Speaker 3

Do is I want you to carefully transfer the white powder onto a piece of tissue.

Speaker 1

Oh oh, like we used to do bombs are used to what, don't ask and then hop the tissue out on there. Somebody had a very misspent use the next thing that we were on. Another piece of paper on the plate. Another piece of paper on the plate.

Speaker 2

Yeah, we're going to put some of this stuff here. Oh, that looks like magno chutney. Give it a sniff, but it's not magno chutney.

Speaker 1

Is it smell? What's it smell like that? It's a bit like mango chackney. Okay, it's not so on your plates like HP sauce. Okay, So on your plate right now you should have a tissue with white powder on it. Oh do you want the tissue with white pieces of tissue on this plate? Okay? Oh god, okay.

Speaker 3

So can you see how I've mine laid out? Okay, okay, because we're then going to put a third one here, okay, okay, and I will be pouring a purple with in the middle of it and watch it expand.

Speaker 2

Okay, we're doing something. We're being all technical.

Speaker 1

Mm hmmm.

Speaker 3

So take some of this this ready what you're calling trutney, right, and just pour a little pour, a little bit onto your tissue, just a little tiny drop.

Speaker 1

But we don't need a lot. Okay, okay, and that's actually menstru fluid. What's just you're just do there?

Speaker 2

So thanks my sister who donated her moon cup this year this month. I thought you said earlier it was food grade.

Speaker 1

Well, you can eat period blood. It's not period blood.

Speaker 3

Then you should have a little little little other rammicking with some fluid in it.

Speaker 1

What's this this morning's wank? No, this is very watery wank. Well i've heard rumors. Oh that's vinegar. It is vinegar. Get well done you And then you're just going to moisten your It smells a little bit like that home brewed wine.

Speaker 3

So well, you can't actually make vinegar for mine, so I just want to again moisten the tissue.

Speaker 1

You don't need a loutch, you need a little yep. Okay.

Speaker 3

Now, what we're going to do is when we're pouring our indicator into the middle, it's going to touch these things. It's going to change color from this lovely purple to different colors depending on the acidity level. Okay, so just pour a little bit carefully because you're wearing white. Poor some of this indicator fluid into the middle.

Speaker 1

Oh, you're dribbling down the side. I'm not an amateur, op I go, this is getting all very damp.

Speaker 2

Yes, so now what you should see is you should see the color of the tissue changing.

Speaker 1

So I've done it very differently to you by accident. I shouldn't been paying attention. What have you done? Then they're not folded with a little triangle in the middle. Okay, so they're all bleeding into each other. Yes, they are a little bit, yes.

Speaker 3

Okay, So what we have here is we have the purple of the main corps that's running out. Well, then got the acid which has gone red a little bit. Yeah, the alkaline which has gone blue.

Speaker 1

Yeah. And then this stuff over here all right, which is kind of both mm hmm. Okay.

Speaker 3

Now the reason why that's both is that stamato ketchup, which contains a lot of sugar a lot of vinegar. That's ketchup as ketchup but water down. Okay, because I should be blooping and ketchup okay, and so it doesn't. The sugar stops some of the reaction happening, which is why you've.

Speaker 1

Got purple bits. You're pouring the vinegar directly onto the bay carpet, aren't you No? Just checking?

Speaker 3

But yeah, that happened, and then it will change back if you reintroduce some liquid so onto my alkaline. If I pour some acid on, it'll fizz up a little bit, but it'll change red because I put too much on.

Speaker 1

That's sorry that oh it went proper fizzy, proper fizzy. Yeah, and that changes to red. Oh on you clever. It's not just clever, that's science. That is that's science that is.

Speaker 2

So yeah, I kind of feel like I want fish and chips. Now, okay, it's the smell of vinegar. That's the smell of this.

Speaker 1

There's a bit smeller vinegar that makes want fish and chips.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I think that's what I'm gonna have for my team. What was the point of this experiment other than pretty colors?

Speaker 1

Testing things, just testing because that science that is apparently shonky. This is a bit shonky.

Speaker 3

But that's almost the end of the show. Rose shows our social media at the TV in all usual places.

Speaker 1

Thank you for watching, and we'll see you again soon. Bye. See this is the fun. When you can do that, it's all red. Okay, that is kind of cool.

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