A What Worm - Chewing The Cud - S06E02 - podcast episode cover

A What Worm - Chewing The Cud - S06E02

Aug 03, 202544 minSeason 6Ep. 2
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Episode description

This is Chewing The Cud! Your weekly LGBTQIA+ Chat Show!

Transcript

Speaker 1

You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Denny and Rowe and missed Kinsman, and it wasn't So I thought about it long the heart that I realized it's not supposed to bend to the left that much. So we'll give it a thwack and that sid out. Oh, hello, you're watching Chewing the Cud, your lighthearted weekly look through a slightly kitchen galeidoscope. I'm Mike Benny Roe and with me today is everyone's favorite homebrewer. It's missed. Hello, Hello by homebrew's gone quite well this year?

Speaker 2

Is it not witnessed any No, it's it's actually it's gone quite well. It tastes quite good because actually it's last year's homebrew that I forgot to bottle, and I also forgot to put in the gelatine to clean it out, so it's it's very sedimente. At the bottom it's cloudy.

Speaker 1

It's not cloudy. It is give it shake.

Speaker 2

It's all down there at the bottom. But by the time the last class is not one for drinking.

Speaker 1

Or it is, I give you cleaned through what have got?

Speaker 2

Well, I'm bringing a story about one of the stars of heart Stopper and then we'll get all creative and crafty queens.

Speaker 1

We even have a little game for you to play along with two but on screen Ken Yeah. Contact details. It's at the cud TV on all of your social media, and if you want to catch up with previous episodes you can always give us a good binge on YouTube. Just look for Chewing the cud.

Speaker 2

You can see the names that people have reached out and touched our souls going along the bottom of the screen. And now it's time to get up to date and all manner of things in the buzz.

Speaker 1

Do you have a morning routine? Yes, describe that to me. Push the cat.

Speaker 2

Away from waking me up, feel very disgruntled, cry about getting out of bed into the cold, and then eventually have some coffee bulletproof bullet coffee with coconut oil in it, and then get ready for the gym.

Speaker 1

Coconut oil in your coffee. Yes, you have very fast bowel movements. No no, no, no louding caffeine. You could stand up.

Speaker 2

That's from the night before. Yeah, no, the first the first morning ablutions. The first morning movement is like a cannon ball out of a cannon.

Speaker 1

Oh dear, Yeah, anyway, well, the good news is you have you have avoided a pitfall of breakfast time. Congratulations.

Speaker 2

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no no no. That there's peanut butter and rice cakes and a bowlus here as.

Speaker 1

Well, when in that milk straight after the coffee, straight after the coffee. Okay, you've not did a pitfall of breakfast time? Okay, which is a doctor has said that the five things you should not eat at breakfast, okay, And so it says people eat breakfast really too early anyway.

Speaker 2

Well, this is about five o'clock in the morning that I'm having it, So.

Speaker 1

It depends when you're eating the rest of your meals, but realistically it should be like two hours after you get up, okay. Okay, But also you should be eating things that are basically frozen. Fruit and yogurt are not cereals, okay. So I said that anything that's definitely not frozen for you to yogurt.

Speaker 2

No, it's a naughty thing because it's a pastry.

Speaker 1

Well, you know, I.

Speaker 2

Follow a lot of bodybuilders and their routines and diets, and nothing to do with the pawn genuinely not. I do like it for its own say, rather than just because more sexy time, though, that is a benefit. One of one of the diets was cake for breakfas. I'm all on board with that, all get all the calories that are going to fuel you and get burnt up and not turn into anything right and in the morning in loads of them, cake works really really well. But that would not go with this.

Speaker 1

Zero calories and cake though.

Speaker 2

No, zero calories and cake no, because there's a.

Speaker 1

Finite number of calories, but an infinite number of crumbs zero anyway, make everything a bit crummy. I do like it when it's crummy. So pastries, cereals anything that's basically it's a wheat variety. You should not eat for breakfast, okay, because it doesn't set your body up for going lunch with basic sugars and stuff. Like you said, the cake thing, we're just getting the calories, saying if you get the sweeter stuff in first, you'll eat slower for the rest

of the day. There was there's another diet for breakfast.

Speaker 2

For breakfast, remember a porn star from nineties called Brett Misles. They said a prawn stuff, a very famous crustacean Brett mice. I think it was Brett Misles anyway, used to adore it. It was my favorite back then. Loved him. But his advice in a bodybuilding magazine because he was doing body builders, like, oh, George jobs, we have like a four McDonald's or a full KKFC or whatever, because it was going to burn off in the middle of it, perfectly logical, makes sense. Okay, great,

that's a diet I'll follow. He died before it was like thirty five beautiful man.

Speaker 1

What did he die off? Though? Not from breakfast?

Speaker 2

I think it was hard complications we had that been from the injections. Oh no, it wasn't like a massive, massive person. The probably did do some but we're not talking like a complete roid head. Sorry that he's dead. Yeah, well that's beautiful man.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but moving on. Do you pay for your haircuts? Yes? Okay, Do you have a regulous establishment? No, because I don't.

Speaker 2

Pay for this.

Speaker 1

Is this is done byself? As is this this is all home done?

Speaker 2

Yeah? No, I have a lovely hairdresser that lives at the end of the road.

Speaker 1

This is a story about being very careful because of a skin fade, because of an increase in ring worm skin fades.

Speaker 2

So yeah, do you not? Ring worm is muy mucky blades.

Speaker 1

Mucky blade, so's it's a parasitic infection of a little MicroB that gets under the skin and just basically lives there for a little while and lives a little ring which I called ring worm. Yeah, and it's caused by it's a skin to skin contact, but mukey blades can

obviously share. So it's a am that's a dentist. There's a barbering pool in Dorset who is basically said, look if you go into a barber and you don't see them cleaning the equipment before you sit down, and it's a busy barber, do not grow there.

Speaker 2

All right.

Speaker 1

It takes ten minutes to clear out clippers properly. Oh really, because you have to take the bass plate off when you're using it so closely. You have to sit base plate off and really clean it to make sure it's clean, and then we attach it. It takes a good ten minutes.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

I don't think I've ever seen a barber fully do that.

Speaker 2

I've seen lots of barber side and cleaner and things dropped in lots of cleaning activity, but not something quite that thorough. But it's decommissioned specifically.

Speaker 1

For skin fades because of the type of clippers that you have to use for that. Yeah.

Speaker 2

I don't have skin fades though.

Speaker 1

No, but if you're going to a busy barber and you don't see them doing it, yeah, they're probably not doing it. So you're at risk if you go to the barber or don't. Why not share that with us but at the cood TV on social media and that brings us nicely to our story of the week. Now, do you like a funfair?

Speaker 2

No, I've never been like olden towers and things like that.

Speaker 1

Just take a traveling fund fair, so oh yeah. And then the wily gigs.

Speaker 2

And cakewalks and things. Yeah, cakewalks. You've never done a cakewalks?

Speaker 1

What?

Speaker 2

I grew up in a town called Luffboro, and they'd always have the town fair, a really really big deal. And one of my favorites is cake what which is basically like steps that move funny and wabbly flows and over rollers and.

Speaker 1

Like a fun house kind of thing. A little bit like yeah, yeah, okay, I never go to cakewalk. I had an image of someone with a Battenberg on we liked you.

Speaker 2

Oh, I think Kate, what might be the American term and funhouses. The British there's a fin house.

Speaker 1

It's a whole lot of fun. There's prizes to be one. Use your body in your brain if you want to play the game. There's a flashback for people of an age. Patch up with the wallet.

Speaker 2

You'd have a mullet's terribly dated to very dated dated.

Speaker 1

Interventions on its way anyway. This is a story about a gentleman who has invented a ride at a funfair right that will give you an orgasm just before killing you. So yeah, it's your face is like, I don't know what to do with this information? Do I have a go? Do I not? Do I need more information? Do they give it?

Speaker 2

Where's that place in Switzerland? No place in Switzerland place where you can have the task.

Speaker 1

If you got into and got into their machine, you would be dead. My brother works used to work for.

Speaker 2

But yeah, no, I'd happily go to dig the task if that's on offer.

Speaker 1

Yeah. Well, this actually came up as a joke because he was asked to make an euthanasia machine that would say and you're out happy, it's your plan. I think he succeeded. He has it's actually a roller coaster. Okay, that it's created that has g forces of plus ten g's how does he know it gives them pleasure?

Speaker 2

If everybody's gone and had the pleasure to maybe have screamed and then carked it, and he's presumed that it's ecstasy, Well, it doesn't give them drugs. It's a series of three pods okay that's designed to enthrall you and excite you. Right, And the way that it will basically do you off isn't till the very end okay, where you basically get squished to death by the g forces.

Speaker 1

So how long does the whole process take? I don't know. It doesn't say hasn't given us a time, right, But it's called it the Cumla cone like a cyclone of seamen.

Speaker 2

It's not just when you've waked off and just before or you can't you do the windmill that's off of the bus this week, Oh dear, thanks Spike. I might do a bit more research on that, because what a way to go.

Speaker 1

Whanking off and then doing a windmill. If you're not perturbed by that, stay right there, because coming up after this short break, we're gonna go to stay with celebrity with this pervert. Welcome back, you're watching you in the cud. Now we've had a set malfunction, so I think it was currently flashing over Miss's shoulder has died.

Speaker 2

You've ripped his winkle off. You killed his winkle. I didn't kill anybody's winkle.

Speaker 1

It stopped working when it was over your shoulder.

Speaker 2

It was flashing away happily until it did cop t transpect itself.

Speaker 1

Unfortunately, this is the part of the show where we're looking at the sparklest side of the internet in the show Biz Witnessed. My mum watches this show.

Speaker 2

She must be so proud watch Really she doesn't watch it.

Speaker 1

Anyway.

Speaker 2

Twenty twenty four cast your mind back. If it was anybody's year, it was Chapel Roames. Think my year as well. She had a lot of success. I've successed a lot. Good for you, but you're not in the news she is, and you're not a celebrity either. Twenty twenty four was a really big year for the debut album Lots of There was the rise and Fall of the Midwest Princess. Everybody dancing hot to Go at the various prides across the country.

Speaker 1

And sing it at petrol stations where they have those little hot food counters because they have hot to go across. It is h O tt oh g O and Sage's great ful whatever, Brian's your day.

Speaker 2

Hey. She also did a couple of very notable performances Saturday Night Live, the the Grammy Awards, et cetera. So everybody very very much like Chapel.

Speaker 1

We've got some news on Board Music. Yeah, apparently they've.

Speaker 2

Been working on it for already, from like July last year, so it's already in the works, okay, And the scoop is from their music producer that the second studio album is probably going to feature a couple of ballads, a mid tempo rock song okay, that might be nice, and there is something fun up ten Poe and country with a bit of a fiddle.

Speaker 1

Okay, so she's definitely channeling her gigar.

Speaker 2

Yeah, there is a touch of the guitar going on, but it's still quite a different style.

Speaker 1

But yeah, but the idea of being able to cross genres and music not being a quiet and attacked, not an adele performer.

Speaker 2

Park and bark parking, bark stand there, get your microphone, bash out your ballad.

Speaker 1

Oh Okay, you shouldn't do that. She performs and she's very gaga.

Speaker 2

Yeah, there's space for park and bark if you're as good as Adel. Yeah, but the album should be giving us a new version of Chapel roone. And it's expected, it's not, it's not definite, but it's expected to be released somewhere in September, possibly even earlier. I'm suspecting it will probably hit the summer because she was very big this summer. So yeah, like Pink Pony Club, good Luck Babe or they like, they're all genuinely quite bangers. To

be honest, it's not, it's not. It's been a while since I've kind of listened to a full catalog of an artist.

Speaker 1

Listen to an EP.

Speaker 2

Moving on, We love a bit of heart Stopper, We do? And did you enjoy Season three?

Speaker 1

I was a bit torn with Season three so because it gave me the happy feels that seasons one and two did. We didn't give me any new happy feels.

Speaker 2

No no happy feeling, no new happy feels.

Speaker 1

It was all very much say, like two people exploring their youth and sexuality and getting together and that sort of thing. I think it was beautifully done with the whole mental illness and eating disorder and how they stuck together. I thought that was beautifully done, but it didn't make me feel warm and fuzzy as much as the other two.

Speaker 2

I'm in two minds with it because it's quite saccering, and I'm not that kind of a person. But I certainly didn't have that experience. I wish my experience was like that, So it's quite wish fulfillment as well. But then I also don't kind of believe that it's like that for kids now at all. I hope that it is. So I'm in two minds about where it's whether it's unrealistic or and quite cruel in that sense, or it's quite hopeful and that's a good thing.

Speaker 1

Well, then you much remember that TV is a lie. Well, yeah, so it's like, you know, trams don't go through viaduct windows and nearly kill someone in a cabin. There's a throwback, right, Dragons don't really exist, and you know, Matt Smith doesn't walk around with his bum out everywhere. I wish that happened more.

Speaker 2

Well, anyway, season three, we saw Charlie and Nick, as you say, struggle with the prospect of moving on from school life. But people have been interviewing Kit Connor, who plays Nick and.

Speaker 1

Well in speaking with it.

Speaker 2

They don't know whether there's going to be a season four, okay, and they're now twenty I mean, fresh faced, beautiful tunk that they are. But if they hold off for much longer, I'm not too sure. Unless they do twenty years later and we're in the university. Five years later at the university, I don't know how much longer they're going to keep it up because both of them are very young looking.

Speaker 1

But their careers have taken off massive.

Speaker 2

They really have. So I was a bit late to the party. I have only just watched Agatha all along Along's amazing.

Speaker 1

Party with that well Joe lock In. That was brilliant and it was different amazing. I've got a lot more not respect for him, but a lot more admiration for how he delivers acting.

Speaker 2

Now well, the rumors that have been long standing ever since hart Stop happened and the room miller got him the role. Really he has always been Wickan and Hulkling, and I'm a big marvel. I've been reading the comed six of the early nineties, so the idea of those two coming back together and playing the part, and we know that he's been bulking up and he would be

great of the role. It'd be a wonderful reunion. But there's no again, in this interview with Kit, there's there's nothing to back that up to say that's going to happen. But would they tell us? Would they say that worn secrecy are very.

Speaker 1

Very good at keeping things private when they need to be pregnant, which you know, and it's I've said this before and last year I mentioned about Kick kind of when it was outed as bisexual, that was the wrong thing to do, you know, And the fact he's then been pressured into changing his body type a little bit, and it's like these guys are still youngest, still exploring themselves, They still geting to know who they.

Speaker 2

Are and should be at liberty to do should Indeed, one of the other things that he's saying with heart Stopper is that now it's done, he needs a bit of a palette clean, cleanse and looking at doing other things. They're actually start start inn of Romeo and Juliet and Broadway, so they're branching out as well. So I'm really looking forward to seeing what they do next. But according to them, the hope it will be very very different to heart Stopper.

She'll be good for them. Moving on, So what do you think about TikTok celebrities.

Speaker 1

I know you're a fan of TikTok. I do like TikTok, and I do like some of the TikTok influence, like celebrity people right if they've got an interesting viewpoint or they say fun things. But it's like, I like TikTok because it's everybody seeing people that you know, just talking about their dog and how they're taking their dog for a walk and played frisbee. That's quite fun and I like being able to fall into that. Yeah, it's quite every much like.

Speaker 2

How you would podcasts, but your podcast fan of never been a fan of podcasts.

Speaker 1

I do quite like a podcast. When I'm in the car, I like to dance.

Speaker 2

That's what's caused all the accidents.

Speaker 1

You're in the car, right if you're listening to music, you do a head pop. That's what I call dancing car dancing. I'm not doing a macarena or full I'm voguing down.

Speaker 2

I put the music on when I'm on the elliptical in the gym, and I have a tendency to sing along, not orderbly, but you know, like visually and basically lip syncing, and I go absolutely mental for it because usually the gym's empty and then somebody walks in and I don't notice and make a real prat to myself and.

Speaker 1

This is why I'm not going to the gym.

Speaker 2

Anyway. One of these TikTok celebrities, I mean, it is impressive to be nine hundred thousand Instagram followers and three point six million on TikTok. Those are quite big numbers. So this lady JK. Barry, she's one of ours. She is, and she's got lots of fans of her podcast, which is called the Saving Grace Podcast. She's amounted a lot of big followers. So she's going into some mainstream media.

She is not no, not porn. She is now going to be the presenter or one of the presenters of Loose Women.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, she doesn't look enough to be honest women.

Speaker 2

Well that's the thing. She's been brought on to the show, and she's been called called as somebody who's going to be good for diversity, not because she's a lesbian, because she's.

Speaker 1

Young Janet Street Porter Bay out of her face girl, I remember the twenties. Other than when she's on the TikTok, what does she do on the TikTok? Does she just chat and stuff? Or is she does she make cheese or something?

Speaker 2

As far as I can tell, there's no particular theme to today's life of this is me. Yeah. For what I could tell like old stories about stupid things she did at university, I don't see what that's any So it's more of a personality really and getting other people to kind of talk about stupid things that they've done as well.

Speaker 1

But yes, good on her.

Speaker 2

And that's all from the show Biz This Week.

Speaker 1

Facts that Missed. Always nice to know that somebody that does something went up on persentual what it was, has done something good with the time. But yeah, stick around because coming up next we have our game of the week, Welcome back to ting they could with me and Mike copenny Row and then miss Kinsman. Now it's this part of the show where we play a game and this one is for a roaming reporter without a microphone. It's missed softya pop okay, oh oh the crack of the

knees that day of the week. Now we're going to play a game of myth or no myth, And that's one for myth. That didn't sound right. Youre any myst? Yes, as you're butchering my name. Okay.

Speaker 2

So I'm going to read you out a little myth and you have to tell me whether it is a myth or not a myth?

Speaker 1

Okay? Cool? Can I have one from the top of piece? One from the top okay? So crime.

Speaker 2

It was illegal for women to wear buttons in the fifteenth century, Florence.

Speaker 1

H Now, this I know is true. How do you know it's true? Because it's true? Yes, but how do you know where you're around back? Then? Yes, okay, we'll go for this one.

Speaker 2

Then in Ridgeland, South Carolina, it is illegal for women weighing more than two hundred pounds and wearing shorts to eat onions in a restaurant.

Speaker 1

That's oddly specific.

Speaker 2

It is very space, which makes me think it's true.

Speaker 1

Good shout, it is true. How absolutely awful cut your wings in public if you're wearing shorts and you're fat.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I don't understand the logic behind that one. To be honest, might have to do a bit of a google to find out why, because that just isn't fair.

Speaker 1

Do you want one from the top or one from the bottom? Ad or for the bottom?

Speaker 2

Please one from the bottom?

Speaker 1

Okay?

Speaker 2

Oh, the surface area of the membranes in a dog's nose is greater than the surface area of the dog's skin.

Speaker 1

Yes, that's true. How do you know that? Huh?

Speaker 2

How do you know that? Because it just makes sense. I would have thought it depends on the size of the dog. Really, No, it just.

Speaker 1

It feels right.

Speaker 2

But because dogs smell a lot, well, according to this it is technically true.

Speaker 1

So I'll give you that. How classic? How untechnically true can it be?

Speaker 2

I don't know. It depends on how validity of the people who wrote these cards. I haven't I haven't backed up the research here. They could have been written by Donald Trump for all I know. In that case, I'm very much doubt they're truth and they wonder you getting them?

Speaker 1

All right, One.

Speaker 2

Quick one before I put this card away. Okay, elephants are afraid of mice.

Speaker 1

Not true.

Speaker 2

No, it's not true at all.

Speaker 1

But it's a classics I thought. And elephants are huge, yes, very much.

Speaker 2

One from the top or one from the bottom our middle, top, please middle, top more nature? Okay, underneath its fur. The skin of a tiger is also striped. That's not true, No, it is true. Yeah, Okay, shave them and they still look like a barcode.

Speaker 1

Who's shaving them? Well, brave enough to shave a tiger, said, I'm imagining a sphinx cat kind of shave here.

Speaker 2

I don't know, but yeah, it's still stripey. Okay, there we go.

Speaker 1

Uh top or bottom, bottom, right hand side, bottom, right hand side?

Speaker 2

Okay, world is the category going on here? If you were an only child during World War Two, you were exempted from frontline service in the British forces.

Speaker 1

Not true.

Speaker 2

No, loads of them bloody died. That's a myth.

Speaker 1

Yeah, not true. I don't care who you are. Go and get shut out please.

Speaker 2

Well yeah, basically top or bottom, well technically verse these days anyway, apparently according from what you were telling me camera.

Speaker 1

Right, excuse me? Top left, place top left?

Speaker 2

Okay, that that that would be a wild card. I'll go somewhere.

Speaker 1

Right.

Speaker 2

Bats are blind, cricket or badmint animals category of being nature.

Speaker 1

An animal? Bats? Why are you beating up animals?

Speaker 2

Dracula's alter ego.

Speaker 1

Bat, why are you being up draculus at alter ego? Let's try the other one. Dogs sweat by panting myth or no, myth sweats the wrong words. But true, No, it's a myth because they do they use that to regulate the temperature.

Speaker 2

They might use it to regulate their temperature. But that's not sweating, is it?

Speaker 1

Now that I said the top or bottom? Bottom? Mid left bottom, mid left? Okay, we're back to world.

Speaker 2

Oh. Large areas of Holland were saved from flooding by a little boy named Hans Brinker who put his finger in the hole of a dike.

Speaker 1

You see, that is a story that they tell people.

Speaker 2

It is. It's a very fake the little boy and the dyke. She wasn't happy about it.

Speaker 1

That's a very old joke.

Speaker 2

This sorry, yeah, but yeah, it's a very old story. The question is is it's a true one or is it a myth.

Speaker 1

I'm so told because a lot of these old stories were based on something that actually happened.

Speaker 2

Absolutely, yeah, that's why it's a difficult one. And I say, yes, it's true, no complete myth okay, lies, all of it lies? Not all of it lies top or bottom, bottom, midright, bottom, midride Okay, nature, uh huh, this one was quite funny, but it's quite obvious. Unicorns became extinct around the third century BC.

Speaker 1

Ah, No, I know that's not true.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's a complete myth.

Speaker 1

They became mixtint a lot earlier than that.

Speaker 2

Anything with the horn, you just believe in. Talking of horns, I'll go into the one that's a bit more dubious. Giraffes have small horns. They do tops, not myth. What are they then, I don't know. I guess they're antlers of some sort, which are a type of horn. Well not according to this, And you got me on technicality of wording earlier. So I think this will count to top, middle or bottom, or top or bottom rather than far right.

Speaker 1

You want to go far right, top far right.

Speaker 2

I know the world's taking a turn for the worst with everything going on in America, but there's no need to join them. Celebrity Robbie Williams is the nephew of the former Labor Prime Minister, former Labor Minister and founder of the SDP, Shirley Williams.

Speaker 1

True.

Speaker 2

Nah, complete myth.

Speaker 1

Top or bottom, bottom, mid upper, left, bottom, mid upper left.

Speaker 2

Go with that.

Speaker 1

So they're britty, okay.

Speaker 2

Keith Richards, the guitarists with the rolling Stones kicked Heroin by having a total blood transfusion in a Swiss medical clinic.

Speaker 1

Myth or no myth. The Stones the Beatles they're rolling who total blood transfusions a myth?

Speaker 2

Yeah, complete myth. Lies. It didn't work, just telling you Porky's bottom of the top, uh top wherever, piece top wherever? Okay, I'm going far left. Oh. The first woman elected to British Parliament represented shin Fein. True, yeah, bang on, true, you do that straight out of the gates.

Speaker 1

True.

Speaker 2

I didn't know you knew much about politics and history.

Speaker 1

And I know some important bits of history. First all politician, well yeah, one prime minister and shorter serving female politician. You surprised me. I thought you were thick top of one, juicy, but intelligence top or bottom, bottom up down too se left.

Speaker 2

You'll have this one and be grateful for it. Crime crime rates go up during a full moon.

Speaker 1

True, is absolutely true. Yeah, because it's cyclical and anything reports a cyclical and people being nuts sick as well.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's all true, and it sounds like something that should be a myth, but it really is.

Speaker 1

Most people get paid around the end of the month full moon.

Speaker 2

A friend of mine used to work in what they used to call an asylum.

Speaker 1

No more, no more stick around, because next we're going to do something crafty and crafty. Queens. Welcome back, and you're still watching Mike and missing che in they cud and we're going to do something very crafty and crafty. Queens.

Speaker 2

You like a little chat, don't you on occasion, Well, we need you to have a little friend to have a nice little chat.

Speaker 1

With, okay, and making veggie peals.

Speaker 2

Well, not a veggie pal, because veggie powels are nice, but you can go off them after a while. I heard that and I'm going to ignore it.

Speaker 1

In the vegetables they go off, Yes they do.

Speaker 2

So I'm going to help you make yourself a little friend that you can have a chat to.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 2

What you're going to need is a couple of toilet tubes. Now I'm quite lucky because I have recyclable toilet roll that's politable made out of bamboo, Okay, so I can get these little thinner toilet tubes and they fit inside the old traditional toilet tube.

Speaker 1

Quite well. So they're making a mere friend. So I'm not lonely. He's already made that silica.

Speaker 2

But to be fair, if you don't have access to these at home, you can just use the normal tubes and then make a little cut and widen the hole a little bit. Because what you want to get is something that does this. I'm sure folks at home can wid Yeah, So what you're going to want to do is take your inner tube and you're going to make a little arch shape just at the bottom here, little arch, not too far up, just a little.

Speaker 1

A little archway.

Speaker 2

I don't know how else to describe it.

Speaker 1

Okay, just to start m hmm.

Speaker 2

You see. Oops, it looks like a doorway into a rather minised school tower. But we're not making castles today.

Speaker 1

We're making friends. If you're making castles, you need some friends. What you'll also need is a bit of a stick.

Speaker 2

I've got these spoons, wooden spoons, and you're going to put a little bit of glue along one of the edges there. If it will come out of the machinere we go bush bash bosh, beich bash bosh. Now you want to place it inside the tube opposite to the arch. With a little bit of the pointy end at the top, not a spoon end, the pointy end.

Speaker 1

So just like that. Okay, see m hm hm m hmm. There you go.

Speaker 2

That's the one. Okay, So I just let the glue settle there and store on. Now, put that to one side whilst the glue settles.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 2

What you want to go to do is take this piece of white card that you've got, and what you're.

Speaker 1

Going to do is start to make a face.

Speaker 2

What you want to do is make two big eyes, two big eyes, two big eyes, I think cutting them out, Yeah, like like cartoony big kind of eyes. Okay, they can join up because cartoon eyes kind of do. Obviously, if you're going to spend a bit more time with this, you can do all sorts of beautification. And eyes need eyeballs, so you probably want to Mine looks quite like a bum.

Speaker 1

Okay, man, man's I'm more a boot pliny that'll do. That'll do. And you want to put in.

Speaker 2

Some eyeballs into my book plug there you do. Mine looks more like boobs than a bum. Now boobies.

Speaker 1

Ah.

Speaker 2

You also want to take your cards because a small a little strip maybe about an inch long, okay, and put a little line on it if you wish. I don't have to, but you can put a little line up. You put lots of little eyes on it, because these are going to form deep. Oh okay, So you want to put a little bit of glue on the inside of that and then just pop it on the inside at the top of that archway there, so it should sit at the top of the archway a bit like that.

I can feel my spoons wobbley, so I'm going to give it a bit more glue. You can't have a wobbley spoon.

Speaker 1

There we go. You also have some colored cards.

Speaker 2

Now you can do this to do all sorts of like decoration and maybe a little jacket. I'm just going to do some eyelids. It's a bit for the eyeballs, that's what I'm just going to do a bit of glue on there. But you can decorate them however you like.

Speaker 1

Bush hush h.

Speaker 2

Now on for the for the mechanics of things, you want to take your little slidely tube, yeh, slide it over so it sits on the spoon, okay, and you want you'll have a little paper clip. What do you who's called bulldog clips.

Speaker 1

You remember those clips.

Speaker 2

You want to glue that on the back of the slidely tube. Okay, so you'll probably need plenty of glue for this.

Speaker 1

M h m hm.

Speaker 2

H m.

Speaker 1

Hm m hmm. The there you go, just like that.

Speaker 2

There you go. Okay, lovely, let that dry a little bit. Stick your eyes on above that archway that you created earlier. Above the archway, you see your friends start to form.

Speaker 1

All right on that side.

Speaker 2

Okay, okay, lovely, and you'll have a little elastic band. Here's the trick to it. You just hook it around the top part of that top part of that spoon that you put through earlier, and then down to the bulldog clip.

Speaker 1

Okay, pop it in the bulldog clip. Whoops, if it will work?

Speaker 2

So yeah, if you just put the elastic band from the top part of the spoon that's popping out the top of your toilet tube and then hook it into the bull dog clip, which is pulled glue to the base of the slidey toilet tube, we turn it around.

Speaker 1

You should have a little doggy doggy friends he chatty you.

Speaker 2

Talky donkey dog friend, donkey friend, donkey ren donkey donkey, Frank.

Speaker 1

Chatty, donkey, do it looks like a one k fucking cardboard tube? Miss I?

Speaker 2

Remember you could decorate it however you like, putting little jagularine.

Speaker 1

Glitter, all sorts of things. You can even put on little bits of hair, and I'll I'll leave you to do.

Speaker 2

That by yourselves.

Speaker 1

Now.

Speaker 2

Remember if you can't find any pin or any vagene or anything in between, remember you can always be a crafty queen.

Speaker 1

See he's little chatty. They can talk to each other.

Speaker 2

Hello, Hello, I've put hair on mine still needs a little bit of decoration.

Speaker 1

Looks a bit bare on the bum. Can't polish a turd? I think it's brilliant. Hello, Hello, I'm a toilet chary person. That's almost in the show now, but while miscuits his medication up, you can look on screen and see how contact information it's at the cud TV on social media, and if you want to catch up on previous episodes you could do just look for us on YouTube for chewing the cud. Stop banking off your toilet tube fun. Thank you for watching, and we'll see you again next week.

We will bye bye. Talking to it like it's actually a person. It's not it's a cardbood tube intervention

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