Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Oh lord, I have no idea how this episode's gonna turn out. I know it's gonna turn out great, but I am anticipating the jaw dropping moment my brother, social media influencer, podcast host, b side app owner, author, Oh child, he be upsetting the ground, y'all, y'all better get ready. Tim Ross is in the building, y'all.
I'm excited because we've got somebody who is literally shaking the okay, upsetting the gram, upsetting the world in a good way, a curious way. Some people are mad even though he is not pastoring or ministering in the traditional way in the pool pit. That's who he is. An amazing podcast the Basement author. That book is coming out. It is February twenty seventh. Welcome to the Basement, y'all. Y'all recognize his voice already, y'all give it up for my friend since twenty seventeen, Tim Ross.
Y'alli, Timmy, I love you, tt.
I love you. I love you. I don't even know like yes, I have an official rundown and because of the time, I'm not gonna get comfortable in common with you. We're gonna be official, we're gonna be professional. But y'all, my friend, my brother is here.
Y'all.
Absolutely, those of us that are close to you, those of us who just love you, who get a seat to see everything that you're doing, We've seen you evolve and pivot. How are you feeling. Have you been able to kind of be on the outside and take a look at what you've been able to do.
Yeah? I was able to do that last July. So July twenty twenty three, the seventh month of every year is my sabbventh month, so I take the whole month off and we spent it in Australia, and I just got to reflect on, like everything that we have done since July fixed of twenty twenty two. And when I came back from that trip in August of twenty three, I literally said to myself, I think I finally figured
out what the he I'm doing. A lot of times you step into whatever you feel like God's telling you to do, and you step in out of obedience, right like, Okay, I'm doing what it is that I felt like God's telling me to do. But you don't know what you're doing, and don't like you have no idea, like you said yes and you started it, but you don't. You have no idea what you're actually doing, what the impact is.
And so if you would have asked me any time before August of twenty twenty three, hey, what are you doing? I would have been like a podcast, like you know what I mean, Like I'm just doing a podcast. And after August of twenty three, I really was able to like process, like, oh, I'm helping people live life in a completely different way, Like I'm giving people permission that's
to be authentically themselves in their own skin. And I've and God has allowed me to create this safe space where people can give us the gift of their vulnerability, be seen, heard, known, and still loved, even if they're not still agreed with. And that's when I knew we got something special here. We have something special and sacred here, and we don't do what everybody else does, like I'm not against what everybody else does. I'm not for what some of the people do, but I'm not against what
nobody else does. But this is sacred and we're gonna run this play. This is the play We're gonna run here.
Where did the boldness and the audacity come for you to not be with the normal? You said something so powerful. I want people to be seen, known, heard, loved, even if they're not agreed with.
Absolutely, because we live in a culture where we only like people who think like us. We only embrace people who think like us, or believe people or believe like us. Right, So in my mind, I'm like, listen, what every human being needs at a basic level is to be seen, heard, known, and loved, even if they're disagreed with. And so the greatest, the most one of the most extravagant gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your ears. Like, just listen to them. Don't cut them off, don't let them
disregulate you, don't let them anger you. You a racist? Go tell us why?
Tell us why? And y'all listen. Go to the B side. It's Tim Ross's app and you are going to be able to listen to the most thought provoking, jaw dropping conversations that he is having. That most people who are born in the church, raising the church still work in the church. They wouldn't touch certain people with a two foot poll and have a freaking conversation. Sometimes I think we wouldn't have war if we could just have a conversation.
All wars start when conversation cease, and all wars stop when conversations start. Divorces start when conversations stop. Love starts when conversations start. Hate starts when conversations stop. Everything is built off a word. What if the first thing that we know about God Genesis chapter number one, that he spoke. That's the first thing we know about God that he spoke? And when did sin come into the world when people stop speaking? Yep? So conversations are literally how God designed
us to communicate. And whenever there's a breakdown in the conversation, that's when friction, frustration, anger, hate, bitterness, envy, stripe, jealousy. Everything comes from the lack of being able to communicate. You show me a marriage that's in distress. I'll show you people that don't know how to communicate with each other. You show me a parent and a child relationship and it's afraid. It's all because they're missing each other in communication.
So everything rises and falls on communication.
Y'all, we just had a whole master class on communication. We can stop. Let's press stop, We're done. Thank y'all so much for checking in. Is Welcome to the Basement, Cetuary twenty seven. I pre ordered my copy. Go get yours, Tim, We thank you so much for being here. Oh my god. Conversation okay, okay, okay, conversations. Do you think have you I mastered the art of communication or you think it's just something. As long as we're living breathing, we will always be in school.
Yeah, as long as we're living in breathing, we'll always be in school. I haven't mastered it. I will say that I have more control over myself when I'm in conversations because what I realized is that when it comes to communication, I am not responsible for how the other person walks away with my words. I am responsible with the way I communicate them. So I just try to stay in control of what I can control. You can say the nicest thing to somebody, if their heart is
set on the fence, they're going to be offended. Yeah. What I want to be able to do is walk away saying I thought about the words before I spoke. I was intentional with my words. I was intense, as you know, with the timing, and I was intentional with my tone. That's the only thing I can respond that I'm responsible.
Yeah, timing and tone. Tim You have no idea how many of my friends my dms they be sending me clips of what you be saying. I'm like, first of all, I asked my brother, and yes I have. And I'm so glad you discovered him because I've seen you when I'm scrolling on Instagram. I've seen you pop up on the explorer page and people, some meaning people who aren't even following you get to see something you've said, then
they hit the follow. But I love that when I see something you post, Like my best friend doctor Amira Ogule, she'd be liking, I'm like, oh my god, Kelly has send me something? Be like did you see this? Already saying to sus you know, so, I am just excited because you just someone who we knew you came out
you were a youth pastor. You just were in so many ministries, then pastored your own church, and then decided you want to do something different, meaning you feel like it's okay to upset people, to break down barriers, and you've already just kind of answered the first question I had about how do you do that without offending someone to the point where they don't listen. And the reason why I went to what you're saying because a lot
of people send me clips of you talking about relationships. Yeah, one of the coolest people who loves God, loves the Lord Jesus Christ knows that Bible. But you know how to relate to the person who don't know anything, and you hit the heart. You've helped restore relationships. So the first question is we were kind of already going somewhere. You were saying about the intention of your tone and timing that may help somebody listen to you. How did you how did you do that? Growing up?
Yeah, so I'm the middle child. I'm kind of a middle firstborn. My older brother's ten years older than me, then it's me, and then my younger brother is seventeen years seventeen months younger than me. And so when you're the middle child, you become the mediator, right, You're the arbitrator,
the mediator of the family. And so I'm translating what my older brother's saying as to how it impacts me, and then I'm translating from my younger brother to my parents, and so communication was just always something that I that I really paid attention to. I started rapping when I was nine. I started battle rapping when I was thirteen. Word I fell in love with words. I fell in love with rhyme schemes. I fell in love with the
meaning of words. I'm a literalist, right, so when I use a word, I try to use the word literally. And so because words have power, and so when I'm when I'm sitting with somebody and I'm talking with them, I'm trying to use words that will unlock them. I'm not trying to use words that will lock them up. And So what I realized is in the space that I'm in now, like with the podcast and all that, is that when I when I communicate, I'm communicating to
a certain group of people. I loved my season in ministry preaching all that kind of stuff, but I realized that when I became a podcaster, I felt like in order for me to reach who I felt like my targeted audience, is that I had to stop code switching. Oh Like, I could not code switch if I was going to reach who I was supposed to reach. And so a big part of the impact that I've had both positive and negative. Is actually around the fact that I don't code switch.
So good again. But that's why you're able to reach who you are reaching the old, correct, the middle, the young, the preached, the unpreached. So many clips have gone viral to the point people are excited, then you get people who are mad and offended. Who do you pay attention to the most?
I pay attention to my wife, my best friends, you, the people that are in my that are in my inner circle, Like if you ever sent me a voice not to call FaceTime text and was like, hey, I saw a clip. I felt like it was out of pocket. I take it down in a heartbeat. But I don't read my comments section, so I don't know what they say.
Ah, so good, so good.
I meant what I said when I said it, and only those that are in my circle get to tell me if it was bad.
Yeah, And if you know Tim Ross, I promise you you will learn. He said what he said.
I promise you. I did. I promise you I did and did not stutter.
You know what, I don't know if I ever see you stutter.
I don't study my older brother. My older brother stuttered, my younger brother stuttered, and my daddy stuttered, and like, for real, that's another reason, you know what tt I've never even made this connection into until right now. I Oh my god, I'm so glad I'm talking to you right now. I've never made this connection unto right this minute. I think another reason this would have been at a subconscious level. But this is a discovery that I've never
had over the years. Because my father stuttered, because my older brother stuttered, and because my younger brother stuttered, it was very important to me to be patient as a listener, like I'm about to cry, yo, Like I didn't even think about this, like for real, like like I never wanted my dad, my older brother, my younger brother to look at my face and it looked like like hurry up, like say what you're trying to say, or to cut them off. And I think that's why I became a
good listener. It is because the three minim of my life they stuttered, and so I wanted them to know I'm patient with you, like get it out, like I'm not trying to rush you, like like say what you got to say and get it out, and then like I'm here, like I'm locked in I'm like, I'm focused on you, I hear you, and then I wanted to make sure I was clear of my communication back, but that I wind up speaking on behalf for them a lot because of their stuttering. And so I think, now, dang,
I've never even thought about this. I think now, in this season in my life, I'm speaking for a lot of emotional stutterers. I'm speaking for a lot of relational stutterers. Come on, I am speaking for a lot of religious stutterers. And I think that's why the clips go viral. TT is because they're like, this is what I've been trying to say. You give language, he said, yeah, Yeah, it's not just I said what I said. They're like, he just said what I said, or he just said what I'm thinking.
Oh oh, so meaning you can only give language if you listen. It's like a therapist, you Timros being the therapist, a therapist who has been able to give me language to stuff that I didn't know. Oh, this is why I respond this way. Oh, this is why I'm triggered when I feel this PTSD. This is why i'm single.
Oh you gave me language because you listen, Because you listen, communicating the foundation got to be if you listen to what the other person say, you might not even need a rebuttal.
That's exactly right, that's exactly right there. I have some friends in Atlanta that set up what they called a debate with a young lady who has a very very different approach to relationships and men and all this kind of stuff. And they wanted it to be a debate, and it wasn't because I let her finish her sentence.
I saw it just listening, and you can understand so much more when absolutely you let a person process. I believe some healing took place in that person. By the way, that's just me a scene.
But I do believe my God today.
Okay, y'all, Oh, y'all have never heard that side of me.
I do bring it out, y'all.
I promise you, I promise you. This is why Tim Ross is needed in the earth. This is why you pivot. This is why you just say you could have just been comfortable in the church that you had.
Mm hmm. I love that church.
You know that at least minimum few hundred that's your audience. That's who you're gonna listen to. The people that are streaming you have a built an audience. You decided because now we're going to transition into the people who you're known for one thing, but now you have to start from the bottom. Now you're here.
Yep. In another way, yeah, absolutely.
If you go to Tim Ross's Instagram page, upset the graund, they posted me and Tim's conversation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were.
Talking about transition and the reason why some people are afraid to transition is because of fear. It is lack of faith. Yep, how did you just say okay, y'all, I'm out, pop. Yeah, you transitioned it. You transitioned that. You transition You handed the church over very well. It took you. You did it very well over time. You just didn't wake up and say I'm done. But again, it's to the person listening. They're known for one thing, they're a teacher, they're a chef, but they feel like
I'm supposed to do something else. Now where do you start?
You start with understanding that who you are is not what you do, and that you should you should never fall more in love with what you do than who you are. And so I think the reason why I can be a podcaster right now and feel just as good in this season as being a pastor in the last season. Is because I never made my title my idol.
Bars.
Yeah, my title has never been my idol. And so I believe that my name Timothy, which is one of the few Greek names that has a reciprocal meaning, it means honoring God and it means honored by God. I believe that that my name is how I'm supposed to move around the earth, not my title.
That's good.
And so I could do this podcast for another three, four, five, seven, eight years whatever he wants me to do. And then if he wants me to be a regional manager at AT and T, I'll probably cry a little bit. And then I'm gonna go run that AT and T store. You know what I'm saying, Like, I'm gonna go handle I'm gonna go handle the DFW market, you know what I mean. I'm gonna sell more phones than anybody, you know, so upgrade exactly exactly I'm giving. I'm giving everybody special.
So I just feel like the seasons that we're in we're meant to learn something and we're meant to contribute something. And so I learned a lot in ministry almost thirty years as a preacher. As a teacher, but I'm telling you podcasting now, you couldn't pay me to go back to being a pastor. What I'll miss it at all?
Wait a minute, what.
You couldn't pay me to go back?
Listen? He has been married to somebody super sweet, gifted, creative Juliet since nineteen ninety one, right, nineteen, yeah, nineteen ninety nine, yeah, twenty five years, two sons. Okay, okay again. So now you've got family, you got a wife. We're gonna speak to somebody who's like, wait a minute, that baby, Now, what you're doing pays the bills? You sure God told you to do something else?
Yep?
Is it because you built up trust over the years in the relationship or some women be like, I'm not gonna fo following the husband? Will you talk a lot about relationships? Submission? Why she won't submit?
Yeah? Absolutely? Yeah.
He even talked about one day, I'm whispering. He even talked about how she might have to put up with something that's not quite an adam comically please see in her side?
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, yes I did talk about that, and so many men got mad.
But why for.
Well, let me. Let me just take a detour right there, just to say that I really have grown tired of men bodies shaming their wives when they the majority of them, have nothing that they contributed to, even aspiring their wife to be fit or whatever. This dude got a gut and a four inch pen that he can't change, Like, he can't grow it, he can't make it do anything more than what it already is. She could lose fifty pounds if she wanted to, or she could put on makeup,
or she could get hair extended. There's a lot of stuff a woman can do. It can, but you can't grow your pin. So if she's like settled on four inches but she dated seven and a half with a hook in college, what are you gonna do? Like, what can you say? And if she did say something about the man, he would never recover. Most men's egos are so fragile that if a woman kept it a buck with the husband the way the husband is always talking
about the wife, they would never recover. They would just feel devastated and have low self esteem for the rest of their life. And so I was just trying to bring some equality to the conversation and remind these men like bro, that woman is being very gracious to you. If she did lose fifty pounds and go do squats in the gym, her options would increase drastically, and you would still have male pattern baldness, like you would still not be able to have an edge up without getting plugs.
He's not trying to read the room, y'all. He not trying to read you your rights. He's not trying to read you at all. It's fat, y'all. I don't even know how we got here, but we did, y'all. I have stuff so much paper towels in my mom because I just don't know what to do or say. I just don't know, my God. But these are the kinds conversations that my friend has been having that has been blowing up. Meaning there are people in marriages who say,
I can wreck your whole life right now. But because I got fruit of the spirit, I'm gonna use wisdom. Timing and tone, Yep. I want to talk a little bit on this relationship thing. Timing and tone. Should somebody bring that up, how would a woman bring that up? How would you like to be on the receiving end of that conversation?
If I was on the receiving end of the conversation, I would want my wife to be very graceful. I'm a church guy, so let me use it a scripture real quick, just to contextualize what I'm about to say. Jesus came full of grace and truth. Now, what I know as a believer in Jesus is that Jesus is actually the truth. So he's not a truth, he's not telling a truth. He's actually the embodiment of truth. He is the truth. But he understands that what he has
to have in front of him is grace. Yes, because truth without grace will crush you, and grace without truth won't keep you. So you actually need both. And so he comes full of grace and truth. Grace is the buffer that makes truth manageable. This is why I use a lot of humor whenever I'm communicating, because a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. Medicine go down, medicine go down. So so I like to give people grace and humor before I give them a hard truth,
because I know it's going to stink. And in the same way, I would want my wife not that she has to make a humor sting, but just to say, like, hey, Tim, I want to have a conversation with you, and I know it's going to hurt your feelings. Like, first of all, calibrate me to the xpectation. If you think it's going to hurt my feelings, just say it, Like, tell me up front. I know that what I'm going to say is going to probably hurt your feelings. You most likely
would be offended with me. But I so desperately want to have intimacy with you that I want to be able to tell you your.
Breastake your breasts.
Okay, is it I need? I need you to use a tongue scraper, right, So calibrate me first, right, let me know, Hey, I went and got some prescription mouthwash. Your gums bleed and that leads to halatosis. When blood and saliva mix, you get dookie and we don't want we don't want it. Well, we don't want we don't want dookie mouth. And so you're you're my guy forever. I'm not trading you in for nothing, but like we're going to collab on getting this right.
And then you say, but man, that chicken soup, that homemade chicken soup you cooked last night. That matter of fact, I'm going to get me a bowl right now.
Right, So so you So communication is like you are only as intimate as the information you share with a person. I get people. I give people that that that I used to do pre medical counselor for they already been They already been dating each other for you know, two or three years, have already lived together, cohabitated, had sex
a bunch of times. And then we go through the pre marital counseling process, and uh, they either don't make it through my pre marital because I try to break people up in my premarital they're not even meant to survive it. That means if they do, they probably won't get a divorce. Wow, So I actually actually try to break them up with their knowledge. I'll let them know up front, I'm trying to break y'all up because if
I can, then you're not supposed to get married. But if you if you get through this, then you probably won't get a divorce. But I've seen so many people get married after having this long dating process and then get divorced in like two years. And it's because the light of marriage is different than the light of babies. It's just a different light that's on you, and the
communication is different. And so a lot of people have brought their bodies together, but they haven't brought their words together, they haven't brought their minds together, they haven't aligned in these other ways. And so I'm always helping people understand, like where the alignments are, because the best sex in the whole world comes from exclusivity in marriage, and it comes through great communication. The greatest sex comes at on the heels of really great communities.
So you've been teaching the single people, Okay, you can bring your bodies together and it can be the bomb. But then y'all realize you're boring in.
Conversation, actually correct or you don't tell each other the truth. You spare each other's feelings about stuff that really really hurts you and impacts you. You don't know how to fix your face when you talk. You have the right words, but you have the wrong tones. You have the right tone,
but you have the wrong body language. And so they don't they don't understand fifty five thirty eight seven right that that that fifty five percent of communication is body language, thirty eight percent is toned and seven percent is the actual words. Okaysh seven percent is the actual word, y'all.
I'm writing it to that down like I'm in school.
Yeah, yeah, you better do it. That's the encouragement I try to give people. And those that take it all, they excel, and those that don't, they they flil.
Yes, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh. Your book is coming out and what we call the month of Love, Yes, where you demonstrate how much you love someone. The book is called Welcome to the Basement. Now I already got my copy. I showed him I got my copy because people be talking and lying. The book an upside Down the great is Welcome to the Basement forwards done by his close friend, my new buddy, Mike Todd. Yep, all right now in this book an upside Down Guide to Greatness. Why upside down?
Well, I feel like the Bible is the most upsetting book that's ever been written. Jesus lived the most upsetting life that's ever been lived, and on January fourteenth of nineteen ninety six, I had my life turned upside down by the message love of hope, love and hope of Jesus Christ. Upset isn't doesn't mean get angry or get pissed off. Upset literally by definition, means to turn upside down. Yeah,
to turn over. And so I don't believe anybody that's had a true encounter with Jesus has still been left right side up. They've been turned upside down. And because the kingdom's upside down, I believe that only with an upset life can one actually live right side up right in the Kingdom. The way end is out, the way up is down. The way to get us to give, the way to live is to die. And so when
you're understanding these principles, they're all countercultural. So the way secular society seems like we're supposed to approach the world like we need to go up a corporate ladder where Well, in scripture it says that God does the promoting. He doesn't have a ladder. He has a hand. Oh, he raises people up and lets other people down. So the Kingdom life is the most beautiful life that could ever be lived. Like I'm sitting here as a result of that.
And so at every stage of my life there's been this level of beauty, no matter how much bitterness may be going on, no matter how gloomy it is. The sun is still out somewhere, and at some point those rays will penetrate the haze and you'll see clearly. But it's a beautiful life to be lived. And this book has now become the owner's manual for people that want to metabolize the philosophy of what it means to be a basement dweller.
M okay, I loved your story about the basement. Why you didn't call it, y'all? Welcome to the pent house?
Right?
You said, welcome to the basement. If I'm not mistaken, did I have something to do with humility? Keep yourself low, not keep yourself low as in low self.
Esteem, but just right. Yeah. So I got an open vision when I was thirty years old. It's still to this day, the most sobering vision that I've ever had, and the only vision that I've ever had. But once the vision was over, what the Holy Spirit asked me was, if Jesus Christ is the chief cornerstone, what floor would you want to live on. My answer was, I want to be as close to Him as possible, and outside
of the foundation, the closest thing is a basement. Wow, I don't want to be one hundred stories away from my Rabbi. I don't want to go far that far up. Like my mom said something. My mom's a Southern beale from Birmingham, Alabama. She used to make this statement. And because I see everything in pictures, such a beautiful visual for me to this day, she said, Baby, no matter how high the Lord takes you, just remember you'll always be at his feet.
You'll always be almost calibrating, be at his feet. Should always stay at his feet.
That's right. No matter how high he takes you, you're going to always be at his feet. You don't get above him, and so it should be. It doesn't matter how much success you've received, no matter how many accolades have been ascribed to you. When you look up, you should see the bottom of his feet, and that should be a calibrating thing for you. Like you know what, I'm still at the Master's feet. The success don't mean nothing,
best seller don't mean nothing. There are indications that that you've done something, but it's also an indication that I'm still at his creat I'd rather be here at his feet than to be h.
This conversation, y'all that we're having is a great indicator to of how comfortable Tim is in his skin. Y'all, we've talked about some of everything, no offense taken. We have laughed, I've darned near cried just based off of some of the bars that you have dropped. I love that one of the points of the book Welcome to the Basement, it says it will help you discover that you are God's masterpiece, called to a great identity and
a great mission. Is that what we should be focused on before we try to get in a relationship.
Absolutely so. If he's two ten in the NFT says we are god masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus so that we could do the good things He planned for us long ago. Do you know how many people cannot receive the words masterpiece. We cannot receive the words that we are His masterpiece, one of the greatest compliments that
we're given in all of scripture. And we can't even handle it because the first thing we'll say is, well, you know, the Lord's still working on me, and I got some places that the Lord.
Why do we do that? Is that called false humility? Or just what is that called?
No? That's low self esteem, that's not false humility. They we literally have a very difficult time seeing ourselves as Jesus.
Is that the church's fault or your minister's fault.
I think all of us contribute to it. I don't think it's the church's fault and the minister's fault. It's our fault too, well, don't We don't start. We don't believe. Yeah, we don't believe what he says. And so I remember when I gave my life to Jesus on January fourteenth, ninety six. I was made righteous that day. I have never been more righteous than the day that I got saved. Like, I haven't grown in righteousness, I've grown in freedom. I
haven't grown in righteousness. I was put in right standing with God, Yes, on January fourteenth of nineteen ninety six. On that day, I was still a porn at it. On that day, I was his masterpiece.
And people don't understand. How can that both exist?
Y'all?
He just said something so amazing. I was still but I'm still a masterpiece. I'm a mess. I yell at people. I don't know what to do. I have depression blah blah blah blah blah. But I'm still his masterpiece. And that's okay, but it's not but okay, okay, And.
I'm on a crusade. This is like a low key crusade. Maybe this should be a different book. I don't know, but like I'm on a crusade to get rid of people's butts no butts, yes, yes, because there are a few exceptions where but is the appropriate word. But the right word is the conjunction.
And oh it's called no butts allowed. You know how you go to certain restaurants and instead of them saying no smoking because they mean cigarette butts, be you t t yes, no butts allowed?
No b you tas right? Because here's the thing I was saved on that day. And still a point at it. Okay, the church can't really handle people's ands. We don't hold the tension of and correctly. We do it for like a lot of people in the Bible. We do it for Abraham. He was He was the father of our faith and a liar like Moses was deliverer and murderer. David was a man off the guys on heart and an adult room. Right. And if you think that all, you just in the Old Testament giving up all these
words cool. Jesus is lying, and Lamb he is alpha, and Omega he is beginning, and in he is first and last.
Listen, you're talking heavy talking right as they say, he.
Died for jew and gentile, so the and fully expresses who we are. I'm God's masterpiece and I still need to have my flesh crucified to the cross because I got to enter Cat Williams that would love to sit down with a little brown drink and scorch the earth. I would love to do it. I would love to do it.
Did he not scorch the earth or not?
He scorched the earth? Right? I gotta enter Cat Williams too, and I keep them crucifiers across.
Listen. Oh my gosh, there's this letter going around that apparently a church wrote to a member and gave sent them a five hundred dollars check. It was like a check, like I'm sending you your tithes back. Somewhere in the letter it says, basically, you haven't been following your husband, you haven't been following the advice of this church. You're dating another man. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, the letter went on to say your life is a mess, and basically it was a sind off
and it had the letterhead of an actual church. I was like, this seems like it's real and I'm hearing you say. And so it's like, yes, she might be a mess, and so you would think the same church where all of us who are a mess can go. You gave her a letter and kicked her out. Where is that ever?
Okay, there actually is places for biblical excommunication in church, but yeah, there is. And so I don't have all the context based on what you said, but there are times where because I had to, I had to when I was a lead pastor, I had to excommunicate somebody from our church. Oh and it's not done. It feflictitly, it is not done. It is not done like in a in a very hasty way. There's a lot that goes into it before you step into that.
Okay, action the letter did say, But the letter definitely did. Basically, it was like, we have tried to help, and you want to do things your own way, and you're you're exhausting us.
And that's and that's actually biblical because in first in First Corinthians chapter number five, Paul h endorses the excommunication of a church member in corinth who was sleeping with his step mom.
Oh okay, bye, yes it okay, y'all. I don't have enough to see. That's why I got I'm gonna go ahead and receive. I like the part of of the Corinthians. Where's life his patient, love is kind and all the ooey gooey stuff. But I didn't.
Readwhere that's thirteen I'm talking about fat. He kicked somebody out before he started talking about all that love.
He kicked somebody out before he grew in his patients.
But think about it.
Paul was upset, and in his day he was upset in the ground he was.
He was, He absolutely was, and I don't think anybody would would be able to concur with that more than the Corinthian Church. His tone to the Corinthians was much different than it was in his other letters, whether it be Ephesus, Philippi, coloss Desalonika, Rome. And so I've actually told people that, you know, the people that are shocked about some of the stuff I'm talking about now as a podcaster, I let them know. When I was a lead pastor. Consider that my book the Feesians. Okay, you
go listen to all of my messages. I'm in the Book of Ephesians. That was the tone of my of me as a pastor, as a podcaster. I'm speaking to Corinthians.
Love it.
Corinthians needed straight no chaser.
As they said. And you need a little straightening.
You need a little straightened.
Okay, that that's that, and me goes Thomas. We're just doing a little group. We're just doing a little straightening. Just look, just a little straightening, just a little straighten. But like you said, you need a little blue magic on your roots and a little like you said, a little press and calm to straighten the edges. How on not straight straightened them straight? I'm straighten them. And that you have done with us for us, Tim, Please don't go anywhere. Please don't go to a T and T just yet.
Stick around. Lord.
Please don't call them the AT and T. Please don't call them there. Please don't call them there. But y'all, my friend, Tim, I didn't intend to keep you this long, but I'm thankful for you, y'all. The B Side app is where it's at, the B Side app. Download the app. There is so much there for every part of your life. The practical part this conversation is well balanced. We talked about a lot, but that's who Tim is. His b side app Welcome to the Basement is coming out February
twenty seventh. I promise you, as they say, I present to some introduced to others. Y'all, this has been my friend Tim Ross.
Thank you, thank you.
For being here.
I love you.
I love you. Tell Juliet I said, hello, that's my dog. That's my dog. I love you. Thank you so so much, y'all, we finally got it done. We've been trying to get Tim for a while and I'm excited that he's here today. He ooh, I oh, what do you say after that? See, we could have better relationships if we're honest in those relationships, or it is sift the relationships we need versus the
relationships we don't want. Because if a person I can't handle your honesty, if they can't handle the truth spoken in love. Yeah, you wasted my time, You wasting my bandwidth. You you're wasting my breathing capacity because I'm spending time on Yeah. Yeah. He says things that if you are in church, you might not agree with maybe how he said it or what he said, but you know and deep down in your heart that it needs to be said, and if it needed to be said, just drop some
fire in my DMS. If you like man, Michelle, He's given me language to what I've always been wanting to say. Matter of fact, let him know, let him know. Oh my god. All right, y'all. Let me tell you. How much you're loved is because of the folks that we decide to bring in. The folks that we say, I know they've got something amazing to share, whether it's through humor, being serious, whether they drop a scripture or prayer or not.
It's like, Oh, we've got some something we've been trying to cook up together for a very long time, and I'm hoping we see it through. In twenty twenty four, all right, Mother Williams Loveship, Mother, Love You. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.