Apego hijo pequeño - mamá / Maneras educadas de poner límites - podcast episode cover

Apego hijo pequeño - mamá / Maneras educadas de poner límites

Jun 18, 202424 min
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Episode description

En el podcast de Rosario Busquets Nosti en Chayo Contigo hablamos sobre: 

- ¿Por qué piensas que por lo general se la da más importancia al Día de la Madre que al Día del Padre?
- ¿Eres de los que tiende a pensar que cuando algo sale algo mal, el otro o los otros tuvieron la culpa?
- ¿Cómo decirle a un hijo que es "apegado" a ti, que tú también necesitas tu espacio?
- Maneras educadas de poner límites.
- ¿Regañas alterado a tu hijo porque dijo algo alterado?
- Mi sobrina de 7 años no habla bien.
- Mi hermano me golpeó y quiero demandarlo, me duele vivir así.
- ¿Te has visto en la necesidad de "RECALCULAR" tu vida?

Transcript

How the day dawned upon them, how the day flowed. I hope everything ' s fine. Notice that on this theme of Father' s Day that we just passed, I was publishing that day a question and I thank everyone who participated. Why do you think that mothers' day is usually given more importance than father' s day. And although, clearly, there is an important bias in those who answered, because, because the question invited the sex

to bias. There is something that is important to consider in this, and there is still a tendency in our country to consider that mothers are much more present in life as children than fathers, even though today women can also be much more involved in working life. The fact of emotional disposition. And this is where I emphasize the emotional disposition to be present in the lives of children

remains a field to work on the part of man. To be willing to run and I say it figuratively towards the emotional life of the child is something that has yet to be stimulated. One part, because man is not educated from a young age to develop this instinct of bonding from emotion and another part, because sometimes because of the work subject, one does not learn to relate to children from this subject, from this aspect and one needs to continue working.

We have to aspire to a society where the mother and father occupy the same place meaningfully speaking in the lives of the children, how and in what way. Well, I think that' s a personal challenge. You' re one of those who tends to think that when something goes wrong, the other or the others are the ones who were to blame. Either you start suddenly wondering what you' d have to do differently or what you' d have to do with yourself, because you' re part of the problem,

too. What. Obviously, there are always situations, especially those that tend to be repetitive. Sometimes people say when it comes to, for example, finding a partner. It' s just that they always leave me alone or alone, because they always betray me, because they always end up cheating on me or with friends, for example. It' s not like they end up cheating on me, they end up lying to me, they end up letting me go, and we rarely stop to wonder what I' m doing

wrong. I happen to us with our children Sometimes even and please don' t want to be misunderstood, we have our children in a school and they bullyed them and sometimes we think the easiest solution is to change the child from school. No, and then we go to another school and it turns out that in the new school they also bully him. And we go to another

school and they bully him. And we changed it into a living room and they bullied it again and sometimes we would have to ask ourselves what behavior my son is presenting, which is leading to social rejection. Take a look at me. Taking a look at my child is something that can be painfully complex, but that' s where we often find the answer. Encourage yourself to

do so, because sometimes there is the solution. Notice that there are times when, for some reason, you can have a child, regardless of age, but it usually happens with younger children who tend to be more attached, that is, they don' t leave you alone any time of the day until you go to the bathroom. They want to accompany you and suddenly among the fear of not wanting to make them feel rejected. We don' t know how to tell them my love. I need space, don' t

make yourself there. Leave me alone and when we end up doing it, we do it in a very tired time and then we end up doing it very badly. It' s important to know that it' s valid for you, as a dad, as a mom, to be able to spend time. Your children learn that this does not imply abandonment, because suddenly, out there all these messages that circulate through networks seem to pass on to adults

that they have to be so careful. And it' s not that we don' t have to have it, uh, but that children can be so fragile all of a sudden, that they have so much need for affection that they' re going to feel really bad if we side with them or if we easily hurt the susceptibility they have to the need for affection on the part of parents. So when we' re done telling him, please leave me alone, it' s because we' re fed up and we' re saturated. And it' s very important to tell her my love,

Mommy, Daddy needs a little while just to do his stuff. Then there are times when I need space and nothing will happen to you. You can play, you can stay in a safe space. I' ll keep an eye on you if you require it, but here Mom goes alone. It ' s important that you take those times, but it' s very important that you can explain it to him, that you can tell him, and that you can tolerate that moment when your child, especially at first, can

resent him by expressing that feeling with a little crying, nothing happens. And yes, it is important that you give the space to yourself how difficult it is to put limits truth and notice that I just shared them, because I found very interesting what this psychologist Celeste Blanco, in a very simple post, tells us examples of how limits can sound. No, and I share you here inviting you to think of ideas that we can even share them with each

other. She gives some ideas, she says thank you for considering me. I hope I can join you another time. I understand your opinion, but I have mine today I can' t do you that favor. I understand your decision. On this occasion I do not agree and I will have a different one. If you keep yelling, I' ll have to hang up the call and someone here Yolanda Martínez Ramírez says another way, is to tell the person. Thank you for your advice. Sometimes we don' t get

angry, we don' t know what to do. We get caught up in these situations and suddenly keep our sanity congruent, be polite and leave things there without having to be angry with each other, without being uncomfortable. But making the limit clear is a big challenge to you how it goes when you have to set limits. How many times our children don' t react in an impulsive way. Not in the face of something, I don' t know. A typical situation would be with the brother. They don' t

take my homes anymore, I don' t know how much. Not today, and we already showed up. Why you already talk to your brother like that. That' s the question It' s day. It' s not right for your child to react that way, but it' s okay for you to react that way to correct your child' s inappropriate reaction. And it' s to see it' s human ok complete. However, we must not correct something by modeling the behavior we want, which is not done. It' s like when we hit a kid because he hit.

We have to model the proper behavior through which they have to imitate how it takes place to deal with an inappropriate situation based on proper behavior. And, of course, that means that we have better control over our emotional reactions. And that implies, of course, a better handling of our emotions in the face of the frustrations of everyday life. So, without a doubt, the work on our emotional control has to be getting better and better. What invites

us to practice it. Everyday life. My little nephew is seven years old or so and doesn' t speak well, so he always says h pronounces it a lot for chacracho and so he counts this, but he' s seven years old. If he doesn' t speak well, it' s obviously not right. However, given the example you use, I would get the impression that there is a part more related to a morning of feeling. I don' t know what' s going on. I' ll give

you several alternatives here. Nothing more. You have to handle them carefully, because when you' re a niece, you' re in between relationships with me, I don' t know if you' re a brother, sister or political family, and you always have to take care of that. Okay. The point is if I tell you squeaky consent makes sense to your niece ' s other behaviors, but if it' s just a subject with language and specifically with h you would have to here s r s an evaluation with

a language therapist. We here have had Rebecca Zarfati of the Center do to be that they find her on social networks, just like Center arroba, do with h to be. The telephones are fifty- five, fifty- two, ninety- four, forty- seven thirteen, fifty- five, fifty - two, ninety- four, forty- seven thirteen or the same beginning of the telephone with completion eighty- four fifteen. It would be worth making

a full assessment to see exactly what' s going on here. In these cases you always have to open the context a little bit more and ask yourself questions at other levels, that is, how is your learning process, how is it going with reading writing, what about your listening topics. Listen well beyond how he talks. He' s got a good audition. Understand well, from the first time you are given an instruction, follow instructions properly.

His academic performance is appropriate. Learn well. In short, everything that is around the understanding of language is appropriate. Well, this whole part would help you get an idea of where things are going. If you told me, not at the consent level, there seemed to be no situation now. You ' re the only one worried about her language. No one else jumps at her in this way in which she utters the words. What is said about the way he speaks, because already being seven years old, yes, he

would draw attention. If you' re the only one who' s worried about this, what would confirm to me the possibility of what' s going on is that she' s spoiled and if she' s the only niece, the only girl in the middle of this family, because they still see her as a little girl and they' re not giving her the importance she

already has for the seven years. There should no longer be any problems with the pronunciation of the words Chayo. I need a mega- counsel and a live jolt with my parents and brothers, who are already so big without another saz coming down. I' m the only one who works for home office, but I' ve already been assaulted by my brothers and now one of them has hit me in the eye. I don' t know what to

do. I want to file a lawsuit, but my mom tells me they won' t listen to me and my dad says it' s my fault. My mom' s going to go with a traveling aunt and right now. What I' m thinking is to go with a friend when she comes back to my mom, but I don' t know what to do anymore it hurts me to live like this isn' t for less, it' ' t know how old you are. And I' m most likely going s not for less that it hurts you to live like this, I don to give you the jolt you' re asking for. Always pointing out I

don' t know how old you are. But I think there are several

elements here. First, the fact that you' re the one who works, that you' re being beaten up and your mom tells you that they won' t listen to you and that your dad tells you that you' re the one who' s to blame for taking the hit that, while your mom' s going on a trip, your alternative is to go away with a friend that your mom' s going on a trip, as if, having been your mom in the house, you were protected by your mom, when because of the answer she gave you, it seems that she doesn

' t protect you from anything that your mom is present. And I don ' t think it' s a bad option for you to go with a friend while your mom' s out. But what I do think is that you would have to start getting ready to get out and get independent and live outside your home and become someone who comes to see your family and not someone who already lives with your family. I think you have to turn around and

prepare all your ground to be an independent woman. You can live in independent rooms of the family, when the way of living in family is this Note that the other day, talking with a couple in the office who is experiencing a crisis of infidelity, this concept came to mind when one is driving, using now the famous GPS with this idea when you are wrong because, then, you took the wrong path recalculating and thinking about how to pra in life,

because we do see ourselves in the need to recalculate the way and how we could, through so many metaphors, go trying to find new ways, when the two people are willing to look for different alternatives to go, trying to readjust the way before a failed circumstance and one of the members of this relationship actually asked the infidelity as a specific moment of the relationship, represents the complete relationship. I represent years that this relationship has been together or or or

from REPS. It presents a moment, in particular of the deviation of one of these people before a determination that he made and that leads to having to redirect the path in this process and how much of the last period in which he determined something different would have to be recalculated how many kilometers involved that bad decision that caused them to go elsewhere. Sometimes when we have to recalculate because we take the wrong path, we simply have to find a turn in or

not and return. But sometimes it doesn' t, sometimes it really takes us on another sidewalk not and we' re going to do fifteen twenty minutes or even forty more. And the question we would have to ask ourselves is whether we want to do that or suddenly get out of the car and one of the parts is already going on one side and the other is going on the other and that question becomes individual that no longer becomes a couple question.

And once each part of the relationship answers, then we can know if we continue recalculating together or not. Notice that today morning I was listening to a listener I was not reading a phrase that caught my attention and with this I

want to finish the program. Sometimes losing a person in life. It' s actually winning, although it hurts for the time being, because in occasion it' s that loss from a separation is the loss of a toxic relationship, a relationship that was hurting us, a relationship that we' d stuck to. But in the long run we' re going to win. If you find yourself in a moment of such patience, because surely in time you will end up thanking him I am chayo buscats. This was chayo with you until then.

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