EP 102 Avoiding unnecessary risks with Merrick Johnston

I'm all about taking risks still but it's like you know i just want to renew and remove the unnecessary ones you know i don't want someone to start an avalanche on top of me you know i'm gonna know start an avalanche and then ski down but uh i try to always put myself in check you know i always start the season with avalanche courses and stuff not well to teach but also it just puts you.

The antennas on and this you know i love going out with beginners it just makes you it slow down and like yeah be present and be more aware of like oh you know like so easy to normalize uh You know, you need to calibrate yourself to the testing, but you have to calibrate yourself to the big picture. That was Merrick Johnston. And the best way to describe her is that she's an athlete. Rock climbing, ice climbing, snowboarding, mountain biking, gymnastics, surfing, whitewater kayaking.

You name it, she's probably at least tried it. But professionally, she's a skier and a mountaineer. It all started at a young age. She showed interest in the outdoors and her mom was more than happy to oblige. Because she loved being in the natural world too. So Merrick learned about the outdoors from her mom. Always pushing her to go bigger, higher, and faster. Together, they would do month-long trips, skiing across the Arctic, or teaching cross-country skiing.

And then when Merrick was 12, she became the youngest person to summit Denali. Her mom's teaching style was spartan, sure, but it never overshadowed her love and compassion for her daughter. For 20 years, she's been a ski guide in places like Alaska, Wyoming, and Norway. When she was 14, she worked as an assistant guide, and her first trip was to the Alaska range.

It was a bit of a disaster. She and another skilled mountaineer were multi-pitching a mountain called Dragonspire in an area known as Little Switzerland. It was 40 pitches, and they were out for 42 hours, causing them to miss their pickup, which resulted in a search party being sent out for them. That was actually the first time her parents grounded her. She's learned a lot since then, though. Now when she guides, she knows that it's important to make a plan and to stick to it.

To never take unnecessary risks, and that it's important to design a trip so that it accommodates all skill levels. She's done a lot of work to get to where she is now. She's a proud mom and a co-founder of Troomse Ski Guides in Northern Norway. Along the way, there's been sexism, divorce, and death. But regardless of the drama and the tragedy that life can bring, she knows that she can always find refuge in the mountains. So here she is, Merrick Johnston.

Welcome to Chatter Marks, a podcast of the Anchorage Museum, dedicated to exploring Alaska and the circumpolar north. through the creative and critical thinking of ideas, past, present, and future. Music. You're a very active person. I mean, on your social media, you have photos and clips of you skiing, snowboarding, mountain climbing, mountain biking, doing gymnastics, skateboarding, surfing.

What does it feel like when you're inactive for long periods of time? Well, that's an interesting question. Like right now, you know, being in my 40s, because when I'm inactive, you know, it's kind of, I mean, it's my happy place to be outside and just active.

And then uh and then when experience and age you you experience the good and the bad and then it kind of changes uh slows you down a bit and makes you realize that you know anything outside uh as long as you're moving is enjoyable it doesn't have to be like the coolest thing but just like getting getting out um and but i mean yeah like i i can't be inactive but i think that's because uh like uh you know i've adhd and never

uh dealt with it until like just recently really okay everyone all my friends everyone knows it uh including myself because my brothers were diagnosed with it and they were the least hyper of us three um but you know you learn how to, uh function so it's like you know blessing in disguise and totally uh but i if i don't do something i like it's just yeah i can't sleep.

So it's and then then it's like just where i function so it works really well now uh with combining uh you know lifestyle and work uh so a ski guiding um, I can financially support the family and still do what I love. And yeah. Yeah, that's great. You know, when you were a kid, what was it like going into the mountains with your mom?

Well, you know, it's my mom and I have done like a long trip together since I was 10 from for like 12 years. So from when I was 10 years old to 22, we did like month long trips, like they, you know, skiing across the Arctic, teaching cross country skiing. Yeah. And then what I was most known for, she was too, was climbing Denali when I was 12. Yeah. Um, but, um, yeah, because, uh, uh, it was something that she found, like, it was, uh, kind of her happy place too, was being outside.

And, uh, my dad isn't an outdoors person and, and my brothers weren't.

So it was a you know special bond uh and for her so like uh you know like she learned how to ice climb when i learned how to ice climb but you know i was eight years old okay and you know so i was like kind of an excuse uh for her to uh to do with the things she wanted to do and it worked out uh and yeah it was our our time together yeah yeah like you mentioned just a minute ago When you were 12 years old, you became the youngest person to summit Denali.

I know it was a long time ago, but what do you most remember about that trip? Yeah, so we ended up actually spending two weeks not moving because of storms. And now looking back at it, because I've been on Denali quite a few times since then. Yeah. Just the... How much of it was on the journey and how, you know, as a parent now is how much she made me believe that it was, you know, my idea and I was a driving force.

And I, you know, I mean, I was in some way because she wouldn't be able to do it if I wasn't interested in the same activities as she was because she'd feel like, you know, too guilty taking time off from the rest of the family. But, like, she orchestrated it in a way that, like, I think I wasn't until I was, like, in my 30s realized that, like, she's the one who put it together, you know, in my head, you know, like, probably because, you know, I was always hyper and just, like,

you know, I was always on to the next. Okay, yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, like it was, you know, I felt like it was me doing the whole thing, you know, and leading charge and like, like, it was, yeah, leader of the pack at 12. But in reality, you know, we had a guide.

But uh you know i thought i was bringing everyone up um but uh yeah no i remember like i used to love you know i was so excited uh getting into the the main um um tent areas where there are a lot of people and um just to start the party you know to soothe there and like you know get some card games going and uh, invite people and you know i you know it's just like uh um. Very uh social uh and it was just like a party the whole time uh for the most part but uh.

Yeah i mean the only part which was really uh uncomfortable. Well i froze a couple times yeah i got hyperthermic oh.

Okay but i mean that's like part of the game and i got hyperthermic before denali okay this part of being cold yeah so i was used to getting in the sleeping bag with my mom yeah at that point in life uh and uh i got strangled uh by a cord around my neck because you can't really uh and was like getting dragged on a rope team oh man okay so i remember that and then my mom uh yeah stepping in and uh talking to the guy that this can't happen yeah yeah yeah but um yeah i mean i just um yeah

it was a long time ago but uh i remember yeah i went to talking a lot uh those years and i remember i wanted to get my pilot's license and i was like that little girl yeah uh and was out with doug eating and would fly a lot and go out on his biplane and yeah did lots of hours and and that was the first thing i got grounded there when i was 14 wow wow so you were really you know out there just trying everything yeah i think

like the getting grounded was like i didn't realize like my childhood was that much different than anyone else you know in Alaska but then I remember getting to college and. And just telling someone about, you know, we were talking about, like, yeah, getting reprimanded from your parents. I was like, oh, I've only been grounded once. And then someone had me tell that story and they're like, oh, my God.

Like, you like almost die all the time.

You know i've interviewed a number of athletes from alaska who after attending a prestigious school they made this drastic decision to pursue a sport i wonder what you would make of that, um well i kind of, you know i got asked to be on the national snowboard team after high school, and my parents said that they'd pay for half my college if i went straight to school but if i decided to join the team they wouldn't pay for anything okay uh okay so and i

asked if i could just take a year off between high school and college you know but that was part of the uh you know that was then i wouldn't get any help in college and going to prestigious school is very expensive yeah i bet so i kind of did the opposite i guess uh but you know i remember being quite like, annoyed at that point but i kind of understand it now yeah uh i don't know i guess uh i mean it makes sense uh when they go, maybe when people they realize.

Uh there's a lot of uh um life in pursuing sports then instead of pursuing uh wall street in some regards because you see a lot of that at a lot of these schools yeah yeah you mentioned wall street you know your dad and my mom worked together in finance for years your dad was actually her boss at wed bush morgan securities so you grew up around all of that was there ever a point when you thought about going into finance not uh going like creating things like my

dad you know after he he retired really young and got into his passion which is like angel networks and mentoring okay and started you know the uaa um business uh competition uh and my brother my middle brother ross started the conference uh here for entrepreneurship uh so he really instilled just more about like creating community and creating uh so i always thought I'd own my own business at some point and create ties and then.

So, I mean, I guess, yeah, so I'm working towards that and still, I have done that in some regard. I've been working in energy and waste and now with the guiding company. So I'm guide a little bit here and yeah, just always, I want to keep doing that. Like, I like combining business with pleasure and realize, especially through my dad, he's like, I see, or we all are like green personality.

That you have to be a part of a team if you're gonna you know and there's people that have success or at least have a good work environment uh there's usually a lot of people that stand back behind it and but you can also do business in a way where you make a lot of money but then you you're not really sustaining it for anyone else so i hope your mom thought he was a good boss because he always means well, but he definitely is. Yeah, I've never heard her say anything bad about him. Yeah.

I read that after college, you took a job in Norway working in oil, and you took that job because you wanted to better understand oil, Even though, like you said just a minute ago, interested in being green, sustainability, and so much of your life has been spent outdoors. How often in your life have you gravitated towards something you don't understand in order to understand it? Oh, all the time. I mean, I just, uh, I think it's personality wise, maybe it's the ADHD.

Okay. It's like, I just can't be like a couch surfer. You know, I quit my like plush oil job just cause it was getting too comfortable. Uh, I mean, and that's how I got into oil. Uh, it was, uh, After college, I was working for an environmental company and, you know, and was canvassing and playing people's guilt for ANWR. And, oh, not that I shouldn't say that, but that's what it is. You know, and the more you play in someone's guilt, the more money you get, the more directly you get paid.

Uh that's how and uh i was just like i want to find out you know like uh i want to be on the inside uh not always tried to try to find the path where you don't uh live in a way of you know having bitter or blame i don't like blaming other people and i don't like judging i'd rather, find out you know what are the reasons and then you don't know that till the inside so then i went from the environmental and then went straight to bp but because lifestyle is so important i realized you

i was the land and the longest standing intern i did seven internships before i took a job okay because i didn't like that you only had two weeks off so then i you know i do an intern and i take a month off and go in the mountains yeah and then do another intern uh uh just uh, realize I don't function that way and don't want to go to the mold when you realize it's not your doesn't not your fit gonna adapt but you don't want to break.

I wonder when you realize that and maybe leaned into it rather than trying to fit the mold oh I would say uh through mountain climbing okay uh definitely you know and, and then i mean my mom had a lot of tough love uh. So that helped on never giving up, you know, like, you know, her sayings were always like, walk it off, you know, if I ever got hurt, you know, it's always like, well, someone has it worse than you.

You know, like, I remember, yeah, like, on our first trips in the Arctic, you know, we were eating, just like, gnawing on butter. Really? And, yeah.

Wow. wow and and i mean like yeah the i can tell you the story when i first got grounded because it's like yeah kind of funny though like as a parent now looking back at it but um uh yeah when i was 14 so i started working for her she had as like a soft guiding company called great alaskan adventures so she would take families out primarily where that don't go in the outdoors, and then she would do all the cooking. She's a wonderful cook.

And then, you know, go on to the pika or like fly into a glacier and then do a base camp and then do just small things from there, like, you know, crevasse rescue, like just simple days, but what you feel if you're not used to it, it's a really big day. Or even just in the front range, you know, just camping there at O'Malley.

So I started working for her yeah when I was 14 and that was the first oh no I don't know that was the first time I started working, went on a trip into the Alaska range without her but for her company as you know just an assistant guide because I mean I'm 14 we took out. Some honeymooners and I went with this um, This guy from Colorado who was in his late 20s, or mid-20s, so he's pretty young too, but a really good climber.

He actually wrote the first climbing guide for the area and lives now in Girdwood. But we had a good time with these honeymooners doing this, you know, whatever, the five-day of, like, simple stuff. But then we had, like, one day more. Well, we asked Doug Eating if we could stay a little bit longer and get picked up later. Because, you know, he was just itching to climb to do something because it is such a phenomenal area. And I definitely was, too.

Like, I barely didn't have done multi-pitching on the rock quality on the highways really bad. And so that was my first, like, real multi-pitch trip.

Trip we had uh one extra day and we head out to do this mountain that's called the dragon spire in little switzerland which is on the the pika which is a a glacier off uh and not far from denali so we do each of the spires so it was 40 pitches and as someone who's never done you know i was just uh belaying him but we had to he had to clean it the whole time there's like moss everywhere uh so it was 40 pitches and we were out 42 hours and so

they sent a search party for us okay uh because we missed our pickup and because i was that little girl um to doug eating you know because i was like doing pilot lessons with him and was just always hanging out you know he was sending everyone. Uh, so it wasn't like a normal search.

It was more like a friend search. And, uh, we saw them, you know, like hitting on our head, but we're like on the, on the mountain, you know, trying to make the thing that we're safe, but we're, we were still a ways out. We'd still need to rappel down and, and, you know, we were like peeing brown, uh, cause you know, we're fully dehydrated. We're over, you know, when you're, once you're over 36 hours of not sleeping,

you know, uh, you're, it's like, uh, your body goes into like a different kind of, uh, mode. Okay. Um, but, um, yeah, but it was my first time doing like a really long day or an Alpine push and I loved it. You did. Okay. Uh, yeah. Like I just wanted more. Uh, so, but I, uh, you know, I really scared my dad, you know, that was the first time because he doesn't understand, the mountains or the risk about it. He just kind of let my mom just decide everything on that regard.

And so when I was like over a day late of the pickup, he was, that's the only time like he's ever been like really, really scared and they've ever had like a disagreement that's like about parenting. And so my mom, she made me stay awake.

I couldn't go to sleep once i got picked up and i had to hike do this hike with a bunch of japanese tourists and her around the lake it was like 12 miles uh so it was like it was a death march like you know i'm like 14 you know whatever you're like you're great and like i haven't slept now in days and like have a yeah uti and oh my gosh uh and she's like just like pushing me down you know just like you you know like yeah um yeah so that was pretty funny and so i got grounded by

them yeah and but then i snuck out to go camping with my boyfriend of the time.

More probably to get sleep at that point uh i don't remember but how would you describe your mom's method of teaching that's what i found it was unique uh i mean i understand why my brothers weren't really outdoorsy people uh um but uh uh but now it's like oh i think it's gold um or i mean i don't do exactly the same thing to my daughter uh not for sure but uh, you sink or you uh sink or swim uh and she was definitely uh.

Yeah it makes like anything else like pretty easy yeah in life you know like as a you know there's like in mountaineering or in science i was in the women's science program and, at dartmouth and i've always been like uh you know like the only female i've been like in so many situations uh and just always like not targeted or just kind of it makes everything else easy when when your baseline or your standards are set uh young yeah especially that extreme yeah but yeah

so it all it all worked out was there ever a point when you looked at your mom's way of teaching i mean because it's it's so spartan yeah and were you ever um like that was kind of gnarly well once like in college and when my friends you know because i said i didn't tell i was 22 uh, When they went on trips with them. So these weren't. With her. You know. And like. You know. Like. I had one friend. When we. Because. For my undergrad thesis. I. Tracked.

Trace elements. In the snowpack. In northwest. Alaska. Trying to. Track. Yeah. From mines. From Russia. Versus. You know. One of the different pollutants. That come up there. Okay. Okay. And. Yeah. I had, as my assistant, a friend, he's, you know, he was a cross country skier, you know, his sisters have been on the Olympic teams many times, you know, they're a very high performing family and he's a tough, tough guy.

And uh with my mom you know like because you know you make like uh with guiding to you you don't you never like uh tell guests like you're gonna stop in an hour and not stop you know you don't push it you like you set up the framework you know it's like oh now put on a jacket because we'll be sitting here 15 minutes you know you you you you do precautionary things so that it's like a that you stay comfortable yeah and her uh approach is almost the opposite.

So it's like uh you know like yeah so then uh so then there was always they started becoming like running jokes uh on uh experiencing things with mama jay uh okay you know i had an older age And then so that was, and especially on that trip, like Evan was just like, he just, uh, Because, you know, she kept on saying that, you know, when it's like 20, 30 below, like she had this like shuffle that she would do because it's too

cold to actually have any glide on your skis some days, you know, when it gets too cold. And she just has this like this gear that she just keeps going and she doesn't want to stop, which is dumb because you should stop and always like refuel.

Okay. okay uh and uh she was just like we'll stop around that corner you know we're following the cobook river yeah and she kept on saying that and then as evan was just like he just sat down and he just you know he stopped and he started eating and and you know she just kept going uh you know and i was like in between the two like trying to be like uh you know i was trying to get my mom to stop and then yeah uh trying to hurt everybody yeah i heard and just like it is like you know like trying

to explain to ebon this is just like kind of how she is you know i know she said that but doesn't mean it's true and like yeah and like you're just gonna have to follow par it's not gonna be pretty you know like you know just like suck it up right now yeah do you know who your mom learned from um no she was in kind of an orphan oh okay okay so i think she just learned uh she was the youngest of five you know she had a

really like tough childhood and so i think she kind of decided at a really young age to be like you know like that was like she that was kind of her survival tactic mm-hmm. So, I think, you know, she learned, I mean, her family was in politics. So, like, her grandpa was senator, uncle, you know, governor, like, of Vermont. Okay. So, I think she saw a lot of things and kind of just made her own decision on how she was going to be.

So, then, you know, like, that's the beauty of Alaska. and then you realize how that's a lot of people are, you can like kind of recreate yourself or redefine yourself or if you're not native Alaskan, you know, because most people, even though my great grandpa came up here for the gold mine or gold rush. So he went up to Nome and then my dad has some cousins, you know, they're both from Vermont, you know, we're like max three generations.

So I don't know. I don't know where she, I mean, that's what I'm, I wouldn't say she's like an open book on liking to talk about feelings. Okay. But she's a wonderful, wonderful person. I love her to death. But yeah, she definitely has her own style, which I'm very, very thankful for now. Yeah.

On your social media i saw that your daughter wants to climb denali and if her health allows your mom wants to go along as well i imagine that would be pretty special to climb denali with your mom and your daughter yeah i mean that was you know i just really wanted uh because you know the biggest thing about dreaming is that you know if it's a positive dream the every step towards it is a good experience okay okay you know all you're all we're doing is then going skiing out doors

together you know and and i um i divorced her dad but i'm still friends with him okay you know and i want to cope parent and with grace uh which is you know it's a little tricky two different countries okay um but it's like you know so if it's like a common goal for everyone you have something to like focus on that's uh. That's fun along the way. And she does want to do it, but I also don't want to have the pressure of. And then the same with my mom, because my dad's health, she's feeling.

But I'm thinking we're still going to, if it all works out, you know, like first and foremost is. It will happen at some point. It might not be this spring. You know, it depends on everyone's health, but it will happen in some way, shape or form. You know, I'm going to talk to my ex-husband, you know, and maybe it'll be him and I that takes both our kids. Okay. But my daughter has more, definitely more drive than our son, who feels absolutely no pressure to put a jacket on. Okay.

He wants to be in the Bahamas and live on a cruise. Okay. And be a professional soccer player with a mansion.

Um so he's uh uh yeah but um yeah so it's gonna happen and but you know you have to just kind of deal with whatever cards you have going just like uh just how the mountains are that's what's so that's what i love about him i love with guiding yeah you know everyone always asks every guest is like what's your favorite mountain when is your favorite time to go there and it's always like It's, it's not that it's all about, you know,

putting the puzzle pieces of that day together and like optimizing on it. So you're getting the best runs and the best snow and yeah. And appreciating actually. Yeah. So it's a very present experience. You're not thinking about, uh, the future too often, you know, thinking about, oh, I can't wait to do this other mountain. You're thinking about this mountain that you're on currently.

Yeah, exactly. Like always, you know, I always have like, little like silly uh goals and i do have other kind you know places i want to go of course and but it's more about uh. For me, I like the storms. I lived in Colorado for grad school and I couldn't handle it. It was like, oh my God, it's sunny again. I was like, what are you going to do? I wake up, I'm like, oh my God, I got to max out. I like living in the north. I think we're all a little bit bipolar in one way or another.

It's nice to have the weather, mimic that, just to kind of appreciate the dark and the light contrast and keep you on your toes.

Yeah like if you aren't present you're gonna freeze you aren't present you're in the dark you know the sun doesn't come back until february in the town we live in northern norway and then i'm taking all these guests out that don't even haven't used headlamps before even from southern norway they come to visit they don't even realize we don't the sun doesn't come up okay and they're booking it like a nine hour ski day and like i've never left a chairlift you know it's like it's it's It's a fun,

it's like a super challenge to be like, okay, we're going to make this happen. And it's like, you don't know what you signed up for. And you're, yeah, yeah. This will be memorable for you. But yeah, so the Denali thing, I think it's going to happen, but I don't want to, you know, you don't want to unsuit that on your kids that they get too caught up on anything that they, you just want it to be a positive experience. Music. Music.

Guiding is a very male-dominated practice. As a woman in that space, have you encountered any pushback or have people in general been inviting? Like I'd say like through my ADHD and just like how I kind of when anything bad would happen, I would just forget about it and move on really fast. So I wouldn't, I never would let experiences like kind of digest until I was like 35. You know, a lot of times you have to have like some type of wake up call to slow down.

And I had just, I had that. And so that kind of helped on like looking back and realizing like, whoa.

You know when i first guided on denali i was at 18 you know i was in like a peon an assistant guide but they instead of putting me on the easy trip they put me on the traverse with 12 men okay and it was the year that after um an 18 year old died from rmi from uh, from the Seattle company and there was like a lot of talk of like raising the age limit, and you know and there was always like after I climbed an alley there was always a lot of things like oh you know like her

dad just dragged her up it uh you know there was a constant comments like that I was like oh actually I did it with my mom yeah yeah but um yeah so just like looking back at like digesting all these crazy uh events like you know like when I went out yeah with the 12 men you know like by that point you know that it's a long trip you know when you're pushing.

Over two weeks in a tent around no females and of course there's going to be sexual harassment it's like there's like no you know that's where you just have biologic that's just how it kind of goes but now like after i've like slowed down in the sense of like being intentional on the people i go out with and the community i'm creating and uh i now have uh for the first time have other people standing up for me and that's like an amazing experience uh like you know i guided a

few years ago and um svalbard it's vitsbergen it's an island far north um and then i did a ski festival there and i was guiding with a this uh austrian guide and the these 12 swedish men who were from a travel company and the austrian guide had never worked with a female before and just couldn't handle it and they had to uh have me because i i was carrying the rifle because you have to have a special permit you know for polar bears okay um and uh and he he didn't have it and he couldn't

speak that well of english and every time i would speak to the group he would sing the song i'm a big big girl in a big big world hmm uh. And, you know, just not listening. And it would just go off. And, you know, the safety thing, you know, when you go down to the coast, you always have to stay back the person with the rifle before, you know, to make sure. Because that's where all the polar bears are, usually right down by the sea ice. Okay.

But, yeah, so, but that, you know, he was just, like, just so disrespectful. And I told the festival, the person who puts it on.

And uh like for the first time ever you know all these males were just like this is not how you treat uh one of our guys or you know the females and they made them right the the company write a sorry you know a letter to me and you know they said they're never welcome back and like and that was that was really cool to see yeah i bet uh but yeah i guess i've experienced uh But, I mean, you know, that happens in most, you know, I think, you know, the more representation, the less discrimination.

Empathy is not really a real thing. It's more of an idea. I think, you know, perspective is the closest you can get to empathy. And some people have more perspective than others. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. i think that you have to have um firsthand experience in some way to be able to understand where someone else is coming from yeah and then also like in the mountains or anywhere else or in a work environment it's like you have to have margin you have to have margins to care okay you know if any if you're struggling or anything you know you don't have those antennas out, you're just like or you know like especially outside this was so fun with guiding you you know you

can just I can you know I can just wear down people uh and see like get them into a spot where it's like they just all the puzzle starts lining together and everyone's like you find a flow yeah yeah uh where it's like oh you guys are now like looking at each other you're we're working the mountains together it's not like every man for themselves it's like no you know like I'm I'm the orchestrator now but you know just like pretend you know just smiling without you know doing things

in the background without having to say anything. That's really cool. Yeah. It's like this great equalizer. Yeah. Cause you know, the wind blows on everyone. If you don't mind me asking, what was that wake up call that made you more intentional? I guess there was two. So I was living in a small town working for fat oil. Which is the national oil company in Norway before they became Equinor and.

Was planning to move back to Alaska and, And, but, and I was guiding a little bit for my friend and I wanted to do this education and it came up that I can quit my job and take a severance package. And I was like, okay, this is my time that I can finally do this.

And, uh, uh, I was sharing just a little bit on social media, on Facebook, you know, with other friends that, uh, cause I'm not good at, uh, calling, you know, I'm definitely much more of a. Yeah i like spontaneity and i love just activities okay so i'm not someone i'd never before i could be on the phone more than five minutes okay uh i just was just like oh i'd go a little crazy i'd like well when i'm gonna see you you know like you know or yeah i just couldn't or if someone wanted to

do something and if it took more than three times of coordinating i'm like i'm out okay this is too much talk yeah not enough action for sure yeah so i my so i'd use social media just as like a real easy way of staying in touch with a lot of people uh so on facebook i'd post uh and it was fun you know to see because we're having kids at the same time so i had pictures of my daughter you know of course i was doing stuff uh that i will always did like backcountry skiing and uh you

know i was whitewater kayaking a lot at that time but i so i had pictures of her on my lap but not you know not down the river of course and and i was actually getting out a lot um with these two guys uh and then i had a colleague that would uh watch her all the time because he was like um.

Yeah just loved kids so he became part of the family sure yeah um and this is anders my, her dad worked offshore so he was gone two weeks at a time and then i'd really go after it when he was gone and um anyway so just on social media uh and i'd put some just posts uh and um someone And an anonymous person reported me to social services in the town.

They wrote a six-page letter. Wow. And, of course, you know, like when you're dealing with something, you then, it's so easy to have the sunglasses on that opens your eyes about it. You feel like, you know, like when you guys were having a baby, you felt like, you know, probably that everyone was pregnant or having a baby. You know, you just start seeing things. Yeah, for sure, yeah.

So then I just like bombarded with social service stories and just like nightmares and like the case, it eventually got dropped. But it was, you know, they were doing random stops at the house to see about my parenting, you know, because, you know, in the letter I took my daughter on an extreme weather and extreme sports.

And, but I was doing this with a bunch of dads and so then, uh, and that's right when I decided, uh, I was going to pursue the guiding cause becoming an international mountain guide, you know, it takes at least, it takes around five years. Okay. It's a real financial commitment. That's a long time. Yeah, I know. Like people don't realize it's like, it's like minimum. Yeah. Three, it's like, you're doing well, five, and then you have like all these horror stories of longer.

And so I was asking around, you know, there's so few females. And my word of advice from everyone was just like, keep a low profile. And then I have this social service thing against me. And I was just like, oh, you know, I can't do this. You know, I'm in a foreign country. and i find out if i do get into the entry exams i'll be the first mom that's ever i'm the first mom that's ever applied wow i'll be the first mom that ever gets in and i'm a foreigner.

You know because everything's in norwegian and uh yeah but my norwegian guy friend um, he was just like fuck this uh and he called a friend and he's like uh and then i got sponsored like the next day from you know for everything for clothing skis and he's like don't let this one person you know you know so so it was that time you know when someone else uh stands up for you yeah uh yeah you can't like uh give high fives to yourself you know

you're just clapping yeah um so that was like the first time uh that's uh that, happened where i was like oh my gosh i need you know like because it was scary like thinking i was gonna lose my lose my daughter yeah uh it's like the scariest thing ever oh it's it was so scary and then you know like i'm stuck you know and i'm a different country you know and it's like uh going through it and i'm like oh no in alaska you know you'd go out with all my girlfriends I grew up with. Because I guess...

Uh, you know, it's not normal. A lot of the things we grow up with in Alaska or our friends, but then you normalize it cause you, uh, you hang out with people that are similar. Yeah. Yeah. So that was the first. Did you feel like and I want to I want to hear the second one, but did you feel like that that situation that it was a that it was a culture thing or was it a time thing, you know, that that you you grew up that way, but that is no longer acceptable?

No i think it was both the cultural and uh time thing because you know what was so fun like coming back and visiting alaska you know the alaska allen school was a female the head of forecasting was a female there were females in everywhere because it wasn't like that here okay uh so it was like a step ahead of norway in that sense and there was just all these things i was orchestrating a way of making it a better environment more inclusive if

you're just for genders at least uh that was happening here and and not there um.

But i mean but it's happening uh so you know this is so that's a time thing but then also there is, a cultural well i i don't know you know uh it goes back to you know what and you've probably seen it you know it's like oh rad dad you don't you know like and you get like you know oh slut strands for you know like anything that's a female or like oh okay i don't know if i've heard that you know everything all the names for like you know the moms is like you know

you're just like tramp stamp you know anything that goes with a female it's like kind of derogatory and then oh yeah sure okay yeah and everything with a male is like unfortunately yeah kind of like whoo uh but i mean then it's also like that kind of with parenting okay uh but i mean parenting is a lot like you know religion too it's like and everyone if you're into it you gotta uh you got an opinion yeah everybody every single person is a different so it's best not

to like you let everyone give their space but you like build a community i'm all about like it's all about no one has the right answer that's why it's important to have many people caring about one another yeah yeah just to gain perspective and yeah but um. And during, and I got into the, yeah, the guiding and all the guys that were the instructors, I kind of knew them because they knew my husband. And every time they would ask, like, how's Anders doing?

Like, is Anders okay with this? Are you sure it's okay for Anders that you're doing this? Just constantly. Like, are you sure, like, Anders is okay that you're, like, you know, this is hard.

It's a lot of time, you know. because at that point uh our kids were only one and three okay so it is a you know an intense time for but uh but it was really cool with anders he was just like you know he didn't realize it was like this so you know me going through this like these all these attacks for having the lifestyle in which you know like uh drew us together you know it was like baffling for him he had no you know like so he was just like he was uh such a proponent you

know he was just like everything was like whoa that he was on your side or yeah he was on he's always he was always on my side yeah okay but he didn't know how to make a plan our friends would help like.

Figure out a plan but he was always on my side it would always okay or just always surprised him, the pushback that you got yeah uh but yeah uh in the end uh i ended up uh quitting uh i guess that's what i always tell uh other females or other people in tricky uh situations you know it's like you know uh vulnerability you know or versatility prevents vulnerability and like okay you know and like always i think it's you know it's good to have

the octopus uh approach to life you should have a lot of legs to stand on because you know you might want to like extend one 10 tentacle one direction but you know might not be the time to do it and you just kind of have to, you know it's really powerful to you know not be scared to quit quit and recreate yeah but yeah so I was the only female in my group and the only foreigner. So it was like not like the ideal. And, you know, like having a one and three year old, you know,

was pretty intense in going through grad school. So I think, you know, it's a lot of hormones and a lot of not understanding.

It was a tricky learning environment. And, you know, so there were a lot of eyes on me. Ah. Like even the instructors you know the like one instructor who has friends with you know he would make me be the one that had to show doing everything because he was just trying to prove to the rest of the uh group that i could hang okay so he was on your side well yeah but you know like i have like a migraine you know like i just want to break just like everyone else like why am i the one who has to like

be in the rain and be on the the sharp end yeah you know like Why can't I just be good enough? Yeah. You know, like just pass on the low level. So how does it feel now that you accomplished all that? Is it, I mean, cause I'm kind of getting these vibes that it was that experience, the pushback that you got and, you know, you have these people that are on your side, but then you have these people that are against you.

It seems almost like an accelerated version of your mom teaching you growing up because your mom was on your side a hundred percent but she wanted to make you tough yeah so it is like that and it is exactly like that and i mean and what but then you know like this slowing down experience and like redigesting it is making me like uh yeah just really appreciate and not just just try not to judge anyone you know there's a reason everyone's a story and what was that second wake-up call, so um.

And so then I realized, you know, being kind of a businesswoman or growing up around my dad and brothers and I realized, okay, how do I make the lifestyle that I want for myself and the kids and how guiding was in Norway?

It was that the guides would travel around and you know work for other people you know for the most part they weren't really businessmen uh they a lot of people become guides because they're just trying to figure out how to make get paid to be in the mountains um not because they like people you know you know it's the service industry yeah uh so uh um i uh realized i needed to start my own company and um and i wanted to be family friendly uh yeah

so i yeah so a little bit of a different kind of guiding company in terms of that really focused on the guides and that they would be providing the products that they're able to provide uh and not feel pressured and there's enough guides. So you never have to, yeah. And I reached out to, because there's not very many certified guides, to my business partner, Elena Dahl, who our daughters are best friends now. And her, I knew her partner, Aestein. He was at our wedding here in Alaska in 2013.

So we quickly became good friends uh but it was via her partner uh astein because we knew him longer and um and so then we moved to trimsa and then they moved to trimsa and then we like looked for a house uh together went to six different uh showings and we were um just like uh integrated our families because family friends aren't as common in norway at all like that concept is very alaska or and it's a different it's a culturally different thing okay uh but uh,

yeah so we were like definitely on board on that and uh and we um like i did a lot with Einstein and I were very similar. He totally had ADHD. Okay. Like, never seen, like, he, like, and then once he had kids, like, he was even, like, Even more crazy because, you know, he wouldn't even, like, buckle his boots or put on a helmet or do anything because he was just, like, maximizing the amount of laps. You know, he couldn't waste a minute on taking a backpack out.

You know, like, when you go out with him after he had kids, like, there's no one, no one's going to keep up with him.

Okay. uh you just start at the same spot and he's like off and he's just like uh yeah yeah he was just he was so funny but we him and i were the ones that would always uh coordinate to like do stuff with the kids you know like uh sledding date you know like play to play with them outside and get things rolling on activities okay uh but anyways um we uh um really use each other to help uh like our marriages and everything uh like

they knew that uh andres and i were probably gonna separate and but andres and i were really good at like taking uh turns um so like if it was my day, you you know you have all day so you don't have this responsibility to getting back for the kids.

And you give a call by 11 p.m and then you get you don't start getting worried until like 1 a.m, if it's your day of course you say we're going uh but uh we uh we're really good at just like oh you know like it's uh i'm not gonna bother anders if he's out you know like i just want him to have fun okay okay but lena didn't do that with eistein so he got like more and more crazy on his uh squeezing things in okay uh with parenting and uh and they just started to do this.

And it was Einstein's day to get out and he went out skiing by himself on like the backyard mountain but it happened to be that they were the only place that got the four, early season storms and I went out the day before with my friend and we ended up turning around because it was so sketchy and we didn't even get to the avalanche problem that killed him because it was a little bit of higher elevation Yeah.

So then when it was like 11 PM, you know, my husband wasn't back from ice climbing and he hadn't called, but he, but he, yeah, wasn't that worried. And he, but then Lena calls and he's like, A-Stein's not back. You know, should I call a rescue? Cause at that point he's so fast. He, I, like he should have done like five mountains in that time. Okay. Uh, and he was by himself.

And then, uh, then my friends, uh, yeah, they, and then they called and they got home and I was like, I was like, oh my gosh, like I called her back. I told her to relax. It's fine. You know, you just wanted to be out for a long day. And then I was like, realized like, oh my gosh, actually, uh, uh, you call a rescue. Uh, he should, uh, be back.

And then, yeah, then my husband and good friend showed up, whatever, like a little bit, like at 1 a.m., a little bit before 1 a.m., and I put together a rescue team of friends because it's volunteer-based, a lot of it, in Norway. So if it's not safe enough, they won't look for the person, which is most in any rescue you should always. And we went there. And luckily, because I knew the paramedic who was in charge on the helicopter through the guiding school, because they wouldn't let anyone go.

But he's like, okay, Merrick can lead this group. You can let her and whatever. We were able to go up and... Looked for him, but it was, it was so sketchy. Like, uh, it was, you couldn't have more red flag snowpack, you know, just like releasing sympathetic avalanches on the normal route on the way up on like 20 degree slopes. And then we get to the lake and like you just see the debris and it's just like, you know, turned around and then just seeing how angry.

Because I've been around a lot of deaths actually. Okay. You know, that just happens in the mountain, but that was the first one where it's like seeing it through, you know, my kid's eyes and every, and then my husband's eyes who was already

kind of depressed. Okay. And just like how like angry he broke my poles against like little alder trees you know he was hitting them so hard uh and then like you know i just i wasn't and we just started our guiding company so then i uh and i was decided to teach all these avalanche courses and we didn't find them uh because he didn't have an avalanche beacon so it took six days so it was just like a really intense uh like you know like where you just have to mask all emotions because everyone's

falling apart uh beside you yeah uh and so yeah so i had all four kids and then still had a hundred percent job and was doing avalanche courses in the area yeah uh so i was just like full um. That was definitely the experience that really slowed things down on just like digesting life. What was it about A. Stein's death that was a wake-up call for you?

Was it because it was so close or was it because, you know, that's something that you could see yourself doing or was it a combination of the both or something else? And so right away, I called all my friends that are kind of similar to us in the sense that they would get just want to go check things out themselves because the avalanche forecast was set at moderate because, you know, it's not how the matrix works. It's the area is too small.

You know, it's kind of like the perfect storm. uh and so like right away i just called i called everyone i'm like don't go out turn around you know like don't head to cotford ada which is the area uh um because yeah i could see it myself uh but also like i was already like kind of not slowing down but like just more satisfied with the smaller things and then you know i'd wait for my whatever my one like bigger day when it was made sense that i could have

it so yeah i saw it a lot of myself but also uh saw uh. Just, you know, about community, about, like, the forecast, how you have, like, you can have an amazing forecasting, but if you don't know the puzzle pieces of how the forecast is made, you know, you're taking a lot of unnecessary risks.

And you know and it's like and i'm i'm just like him and just like all the people i called you know a lot of times you know it's our therapy is going outside that's our happy place but it's not our intention to leave small children behind yeah or anyone behind in that matter yeah uh so it's always nice to remove the unnecessary risk i'm all about taking risks still but it's like you know i just want to remove the unnecessary ones you know i don't want someone to start an

avalanche on top of me you know i'm gonna start an avalanche and then ski down but uh i try to always put myself in check you know i always start the season with avalanche courses and stuff not well to teach but also it just puts you the antennas on and this you know i love going out with beginners it just makes you slow down and like yeah be present and be more aware of like oh you know like so easy to normalize uh you know you need to calibrate yourself to the,

testing but you have to calibrate yourself to. The big picture.

Well merrick those are all the questions i have for you you know i want to thank you for your time, your knowledge of the outdoors, and also for your perseverance. Well, thank you for having me. And yeah, just keep on keeping on. Music. For more information about the Anchorage Museum, visit anchoragemuseum.org. This podcast was produced by me, Cody Liska, for the Anchorage Museum, with additional help from Julie Decker. Chatter Marks Music is produced by Keys Open Doors. Music. Thank you.