Hey guys , ryan Dement , hope you guys are having a great day Today on the show you've got me and I know it's been a little bit of time since we put out an episode .
Excuse me , we put an episode last week and we took a couple weeks off because I got sick and got whatever was going around and I just thought it would be a great way just to take a break , recharge the batteries , figure out what I want to do on the show and move forward . But this week it's me .
It's flat out just me being open and honest and just talking about things going on in business and so forth , but also personal life .
It's been 2024 was a long year and a lot of stuff happened and I feel like there are still things that are unresolved that I'm fighting through from a business perspective , and the only way I know how to best describe it is being consistent and being persistent in getting things done .
But at times I feel like and I'm going to go a little philosophical on you guys today is faith versus hope .
Have I been hoping that the project in Bayard Park is going to get to the finish line sooner rather than later , or do I have faith later , or do I have faith , and we can go into both of those , but that's the piece that I've been putting out to myself and understanding where I'm at Cause .
I think I'm stuck in this quandary , in this gray area , to where I'm struggling with hope versus faith , and I don't quite know where I'm at one but two . I think I'm trying to define it . I don't think I know , and I don't quite know where I'm at one but two . I think I'm trying to define it .
I don't think I know , and I don't think that's going to work either . I have to find my path in this , and the only way to do that is to really just spend time walking through the process , and it's not just business . Do I have faith for myself ? Do I have faith for my family ? Am I hoping for this or I'm hoping for that ?
And that's not what I'm trying to do . I'm trying to live a life of one , going after my passion affordable housing , development and really making it work and helping others , and that's been a grind , and that's where I'm at . Is that I'm hitting my head up against the wall ?
I don't want to say that I've lost the happiness for it , but it sure does weigh on my mind and it really slows me down . I want to get to a place , to where I feel like I'm re-energized and recharged to be able to take on new projects . Finish Bayard Park , do all that stuff . I love it . Don't get me wrong .
I'm just trying to find my path in all this to be able to understand . Here's where we're at . This is what needs to be done . How do we get this to the finish line ? And that's the struggle is , I don't see how we can get it to the finish line . And that's where , again , faith versus hope .
I'm hoping to get to the finish line , but faith is as I've been told by a good friend of mine . She told me , faith is you , fill it in your soul , it's in your being , and I don't know if I'm at faith yet .
I know I'm past hope , but I think I'm caught in this quandary , this gray area between faith and hope , and that's the struggle that I'm living with .
And from a business perspective an entrepreneur , a human being , a leader it's a struggle when you're in that place in life and you can't figure out where you're at and where you're going and to understand what I need to do because ultimately I have to put on a better back that up .
And I'm sorry , guys , this is all all over the place , but it's just coming out just unfiltered , ready to go . I have to do better at what I'm trying to accomplish . I write down goals and so forth , but there needs to be why behind those goals . It can't always be about driving money . It has to have purpose , and that's where I'm . That's even better .
That's where I'm struggling at is with the why Is why am I doing this ? What's the purpose ? How am I helping others ? I know what I started with , but I don't know if that's where I'm at today , or am I changing along the way ? Or if I changed along the way , and where am I at today ?
I don't have that answer , and that's the struggle that I've been dealing with is I've got hope and I've got why . For you guys watching video , I've got my fingers up and it's somewhere in between . Here I'm trying to figure out what's going on and understanding how we can actually get it resolved .
And when I mean resolved , as in I , it's not , I'm not hoping for anything . Faith , I have faith . It's in my , it's in my heart , it's in my soul , it's in my DNA . I lost it and now I'm having to come back around and re-find it . And that's the process I'm going through .
Whether you believe in God , universe , larger being , whatever , for me , journaling and praying helps me , just from the simple fact of putting my mind at ease , but also allowing me to see what I'm talking about , and then I can relate to it , I can connect with it . But I also can see what I'm trying to do .
I'm a visual learner and I can go back , you know , to my journaling two weeks ago or three weeks ago or yesterday , and take a look at it and know exactly what I was talking about , asking for and going through it all . And it's just self-reflection now and that's just where I'm at . I don't know , there's just more coming out .
I don't know if I'm beating myself up on this topic or not , but it feels like myself up on this topic or not , but it feels like I'm just I'm not comfortable with where I'm at and I need to do better . And that's really what I want to do . I want to do better , I want to help more , I want to bring joy to others , because that helps me .
The more I give , the happier I get , and I feel like I don't give enough . I don't feel like I'm giving enough or I have enough to give . I also want to make sure that I'm taking care of my family , and I don't know if I'm doing that completely or not , to be honest , and it's just . That's out there .
So if I have a question mark in my head , I need to be able to figure out what's going on and how to solve it . But I think for this piece , I'm trying to solve it and this is where hope and faith comes back in .
I'm trying to do it on my own and I need to have faith , and that's where I'm struggling is to understand how do I move from hope to faith . I don't know what I need to do . If you guys want to give me feedback , I'm all for it .
I just I don't know how to describe it other than I feel like I'm in this gray area between the two and I've got both sides talking to me , but I truly don't know what steps I need to take .
I don't know if I continue to do what I'm doing , in the sense of journaling and praying that I will do daily , but are there other things that I'm doing on a daily basis that are taken away from this process and leaving me in that gray area , or do I need to add additional things that can help me move forward ?
I don't know , and that's I hate having you know the unknown , but that's where I'm at . That's all I have . You know this week , guys , I'm trying to work through all this . I hope you guys are doing well and thank you for sticking in . I know it's about 10 minutes long , but truly this is life where I'm at .
I'm being as transparent as I possibly can be , but also I know there's others out there that potentially could be struggling with this too . Love to hear from you . I'd love to be able to connect and have a conversation around it , because I need to learn more .
I need to be able to connect with others that are on a similar journey as I am , but also we're stronger in numbers . We're also stronger with people that have gone through our situations to help us out . So love to connect with you guys .
Let me know , but I hope you guys have a great day , stay healthy , stay safe and I'll talk to you guys on the other side .