In this episode Ellen discusses how couples can handle differing levels of comfort with sexual acts. She emphasizes the importance of communication, respecting each other's boundaries, and defaulting to the less comfortable spouse to maintain a loving and trusting relationship. She provides guidance on how to navigate situations where one partner is uncomfortable, suggesting that saying no is an opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy. The discussion includes how to handle uncomfortable situa...
May 06, 2024•15 min•Ep. 168
In this episode Ellen and Kathleen explore the topic of chastity within marriage, emphasizing that chastity goes beyond merely abstaining from sex. They discuss the deep and abundant grace available through the sacrament of marriage and how living out chastity can enhance marital intimacy and union. The conversation covers the Catechism's teachings on chastity for all baptized individuals, regardless of marital status. They debunk common misconceptions about chastity, highlighting its importance...
Apr 29, 2024•28 min•Ep. 167
In this episode Ellen shares a personal revelation about finding God's presence and grace in the imperfections of married life and liturgical celebrations. Despite her initial frustration with less-than-perfect liturgies during the Easter Triduum, Ellen is reminded through prayer that God's grace is not limited by human imperfections. She draws a parallel between her experience with liturgies and the realities of married life, emphasizing that God works through the 'messiness' of both to bring a...
Apr 22, 2024•15 min•Ep. 166
This episode focuses on the common issue among couples regarding the disparity in sex drives, a topic frequently brought up by listeners. We propose a perspective shift, suggesting couples view these differences as blessings that can forward the relationship and increase intimacy. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready...
Apr 15, 2024•29 min•Ep. 165
In this episode, the focus is on the church's teachings regarding manual stimulation and masturbation within the context of marriage. We'll go through basically all of the different scenarios of manual stimulation from masturbation to stimulating the other person. Get the Orgasm Course for Catholic Women at vinesinfullbloom.com/orgasm ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardin...
Apr 08, 2024•21 min•Ep. 164
In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen and Kathleen tackle the challenge of internalized purity culture and its impact on women's sexual thoughts. They discuss the phenomenon where healthy sexual desires within the context of marriage are mistakenly treated as intrusive thoughts due to purity culture's teachings. The discussion includes defining intrusive thoughts, sharing personal struggles with accepting sexuality, and the journey of healing the relationship with sex from the persp...
Apr 01, 2024•29 min•Ep. 163
In this episode we'll address the misconception among individuals practicing Natural Family Planning (NFP) that their sexual desire only peaks during the fertile window due to hormonal influences. Listen in to see what you really need to change to experience more desire for sex! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready t...
Mar 25, 2024•17 min•Ep. 162
This episode addresses the complexities and challenges couples face regarding postpartum sex. The episode covers the expectations, fears, and physical changes women and their partners might experience, emphasizing the importance of communication, understanding, and patience. Techniques such as perineal massage and the use of lubricants are suggested to ease discomfort and anxiety during postpartum sexual activity. Additionally, discussions include men's perspectives on postpartum sex, the import...
Mar 18, 2024•27 min•Ep. 161
Ellen addresses the common pursuit of perfectionism in marriage and sexual relationships, emphasizing that perfection is not a prerequisite for intimacy or spiritual growth. She discusses how striving for a perfect relationship or sexual encounter can be paralyzing, whereas embracing the imperfection can lead to significant growth, healing, and a deeper bond. Trial, error, and grace-filled perseverance in sexual intimacy can transform and sanctify marriage. Get the Orgasm Course for Catholic Wom...
Mar 11, 2024•12 min•Ep. 160
In this episode of 'Charting Toward Intimacy', Kathleen and Ellen discuss the misconception of sex being a love language. They explain that sex should be a result of love and intimacy rather than the base of it, and argue that using sex as the glue that holds a relationship together creates a false expectation and could become unfulfilling over time. The five love languages - words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch - are examined, with the asserti...
Mar 04, 2024•27 min•Ep. 159
In this episode Ellen discusses the deep connection between sex and prayer. She implements the teachings of the Catechism, arguing that just as prayer cannot be reduced to spontaneous desire but requires an active will, sex should also not be reduced to spontaneous physical desire. She encourages listeners to recognize the depth of sexual relations as an experience of unity and not just physical satisfaction. She also stresses that desire for sex should be understood as a longing for deeper unit...
Feb 25, 2024•16 min•Ep. 158
This podcast, led by Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chavones, discusses the challenges of sticking to Natural Family Planning (NFP) during instances of limited fertile days and mandatory abstinence due to serious medical or financial constraints. It emphasizes how suffering and sacrifice are crucial elements of the Christian journey. They tackle the often-perceived unfairness of NFP, clarifying how beliefs about God not wanting us to suffer are misleading. They argue that during these periods of st...
Feb 19, 2024•23 min•Ep. 157
This episode focuses on the emotional complexities of initiating sex within a Catholic marriage, emphasizing the importance of understanding individual desires and the associated vulnerabilities. Through an in-depth discussion, Ellen addresses various misconceptions about physical desire and urges couples to explore deeper emotional and spiritual desires and how it relates to sexual intimacy. Helpful strategies are suggested for initiating and responding to initiation in a loving, considerate ma...
Feb 12, 2024•15 min•Ep. 156
Mike 'Gomer' Gormley joins host Ellen as they discuss the detrimental effects of sexual passivity on marriage and ways to overcome it. Gomer provides valuable insights from a male perspective, emphasizing the importance of sexual initiation, communication, respect, and genuine love in maintaining a healthy sex life and marriage. The duo takes a deep dive into topics such as the significance of non-sexual touch, misconceptions about male and female sexual drives, and the role of honest, non-judgm...
Feb 05, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 155
In this podcast episode, Ellen addresses the challenge of navigating sex within a marriage, particularly from a Catholic perspective. She discusses a situation where a couple put such heavy emphasis on the religious significance of sex that it led to tension and avoidance, reducing their sexual encounters drastically. Ellen proposes that adding a sense of fun and lightness to one's sex life can relieve the pressure, fostering trust and openness between partners. This approach can be implemented ...
Jan 29, 2024•10 min•Ep. 154
In this podcast Ellen, discusses the idea of women becoming gatekeepers of sex in a relationship, specifically within the context of a Catholic marriage and family planning. In conversation with guest Grace Stark, editor for Natural Womanhood, they suggest that the issue can be seen as an issue of communication rather than a power struggle. They discuss ways to foster stronger communication, and to share responsibility for family planning and initiating intimacy. Additionally, they delve into st...
Jan 22, 2024•30 min•Ep. 153
In this episode, hosts Ellen and Kathleen talk about lessons they wish they knew on their wedding night. They highlight the importance of open communication, and understanding the depth and holiness of sex within marriage, and how it goes beyond just fulfilling an urge. They emphasize the need to translate the intellectual understanding of the sanctity of sex to the heart. Both share their insights about how this realization has been a journey, requiring continual growth and wrestling with the r...
Jan 15, 2024•27 min•Ep. 152
In this episode, we discuss the common scenario of feeling too tired for marital intimacy. We'll talk about the importance of identifying the root cause, be it a heavy workload, miscommunication, or simply needing more sleep. Here's some of the big takeaways: understand each other's perspectives, engage in active communication, take a fresh look at sex, viewing it not as a chore but as a way to enhance intimacy and connection. Sex is vital in reinforcing the bond and renewing wedding vows, so be...
Jan 08, 2024•18 min•Ep. 151
Ellen is joined by Dr. Sarah Bartel for part 2 of their conversation on licit and illicit acts. The episode focuses primarily on pornography, sex manuals, sex therapy, and imaginative role-play in marriage. They stress the importance of respecting both the unitive and procreative functions of sex in Catholic teaching. Please go listen to the episode prior to this one titled Sex Toys, Lingerie, and Orgasms, Oh My! with Dr. Sarah Bartel before listening to this follow up conversation. ____________...
Jan 01, 2024•36 min•Ep. 150
Ellen discusses sex and intimacy within the confines of Catholic marriage with guest Dr. Sarah Bartel. The primary focus is on demystifying varying questions related to sexual acts in Catholic marriage, ensuring they respect both the procreative and unitive aspects of sex. These include discussions on topics as varied as the use of sex toys, wearing lingerie, and the acceptance of different sexual acts. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here ...
Dec 25, 2023•30 min•Ep. 149
Ellen and Kathleen are discussing on how to overcome despair and struggles associated with intimacy in a marriage. They emphasize that giving in to despair only strengthens the negative forces affecting our lives. They stress the importance of holding onto faith and prayer, and provide tips for dealing with difficult periods. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ o...
Dec 18, 2023•26 min•Ep. 148
We're talking about why recording sexual encounters between spouses is not in line with the Catholic understanding of marital intimacy. The discussion explores the sanctity of sex within marriage, emphasizing the importance of privacy and mutual self-gift. Ultimately, the episode underscores the importance of present commitment and love in sexual relationships rather than objectifying and recording the act. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click h...
Dec 11, 2023•14 min•Ep. 147
Ellen and Kathleen discuss a myriad of assumptions women often make about sex, how they negatively impact one's sex life, and how to overcome them. They delve into the concepts of responsive and spontaneous desires, discuss misconceptions about men and women's sexual needs, emphasize the importance of communication in sex, and highlight that sex is an individualized experience, unique to each couple. Get The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women ON SALE in honor of the Immaculate Conception! Codes av...
Dec 04, 2023•29 min•Ep. 146
Ever been stuck during arousal because you hit a plateau and you don't know what happens next? This episode is for you. Ellen outlines two main models for understanding and navigating female sexual arousal in this episode. Masters and Johnson's four-phase linear model , which is applicable for both men and women, includes excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Basson's cyclical model , purely focused on female sexual response, takes the varied facets of female sexual response into consider...
Nov 27, 2023•14 min•Ep. 145
Ellen and Kathleen discuss the topic of finding peace when sex and family planning don't go as planned. They delve into how controlling sexual outcomes can hinder the freedom and fullness that are inherent in marital intimacy. They suggest that recognizing the divine role in every sexual act and outcome, and surrendering the need for control, can lead to peace in family planning, even when things go awry. They also discuss the pressure of societal norms vis-a-vis family size, and encourage liste...
Nov 20, 2023•33 min•Ep. 144
In this episode, Ellen discusses the virtue of patience, particularly in the context of sex, marital intimacy, and pregnancy. She explores the connection between patience and our spiritual, emotional well-being and offers practical tips to make waiting more bearable. Her key messages underline that patience is a stepping stone to holiness and is not a burden. She emphasizes the need to embrace patience and view it as an opportunity for growth and spiritual development, going so far as to associa...
Nov 13, 2023•17 min•Ep. 143
In this episode of 'Charting Toward Intimacy', Ellen is joined by Kathleen's husband Michael. We'll explore how couples should handle disagreements on Natural Family Planning (NFP). We delve into varying perspectives on the justifiable reasons for using NFP, and consider the implications when one spouse does not agree with its use. The conversation covers the importance of effective communication, recognizing personal desires versus pleasure, and the significance of divine judgement in one's dec...
Nov 06, 2023•25 min•Ep. 142
"I like spontaneity when it comes to sex, scheduled sex just seems too bland or routine" "Sex shouldn't be something you have to schedule a good sex life just happens" "If you schedule sex then you take out all the fun of it" These are all lies and awful ones at that. In this episode we're going to talk about why the idea of spontaneous sex is really not the approach you should be taking when it comes to your sex life. In fact, sex should be quite the opposite of spontaneous, it should be a prio...
Oct 30, 2023•24 min•Ep. 141
Feeling like you're in a rut? Looking for some suggestion on how to get out of said rut? This is the episode for you. Ellen and Kathleen share from personal experience some of the best ways to get out of a sex rut. The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women is available now. Sign up for lifetime access. We highly recommend checking out Pray More Novenas if you have trouble remembering to complete a novena! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for...
Oct 23, 2023•31 min•Ep. 140
Touched Out and Bristle Touch. These are the two types of negative reactions to touch that we are talking about on the podcast today. We'll explain what those two things are and give you tips to combat them! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our cou...
Oct 16, 2023•27 min•Ep. 139
