Vol. 15: D'Qwell Jackson

the next year in training camp they tested me. I get popped and it's like he rolls the window down and as the windows rolling down, he's rapping. He's reaching for his glove box. There's no way of fixing it. It's like once you lose it, you can't get it back.

Welcome back to Charges. I'm your host Rex Chapman. Today on the show, we have to quell Jackson, a man who made himself into a great pro He was a legend in college as a two time All American and a stand out in the brutal game of professional football, a captain and someone who I think most guys would want with them in the trenches, and then almost out of nowhere, a few events happened that we'll talk about, and Diquell was out of the NFL and looking around

wondering just what happened and what is happening to him and his brain? This his charges Quell, thanks so much for being here and welcome to the show Man, Rex, thanks for having me. I can't say it enough. This is a topic that needs to be discussed and I'm happy you've created that platform to do so. Well. You know, I've wanted to talk to a football player for some time now. Um, obviously I played college basketball. Many of my friends were played on the on the football team.

You know, we lifted in the same facility back then. They would you know, come up and poke me, my little chick. And it definitely had At Maryland, we definitely was really close with the basketball team as well, and uh we were playing the summer and things like that. But uh, you know it was fun that those days were fun. Yeah, to that point though, guys in college

you know, not basketball players, but college football players. If you play four or five years of college football and you're getting the same kind of brain trauma over and over and over, right, I mean, at some point, isn't that something that has to be addressed with the n C Double A. And because I mean, you guys, it's one thing to get out of college and not have you know, insurance and retirement and stuff when you played basketball,

ran track or it's just a different sport. You know, your sport is very, very different, and it's just hard for me to you know, not everybody gets to go on and play like yourself. So that I'm just saying, I think there's some stuff that that's got to be done at some point. Yeah, no, I agree, because I remember when. I don't specifically remember the year, but Corey Stringer is a name that stands out to me. He

played for the Minnesota Vikings. He was a guy who died from heat heat exhaustion in the NFL, And immediately the NFL adopted this rule where they were over hire people just to have water buckets and ice towels to make sure no one overheated and also to make sure, you know, guys were getting the proper properly hydrated, getting fluids.

And it was just a huge shift. And now you talk about the collegiate game with the young, you know, college athletes playing football, well, in the NFL, they have this thing called what is it They take care of their players at a different rate than that college man. When I was in college, there was no rules. There was no rules to say you can't hit this many times. We can, we can play as long as we want.

And you know, a lot of these guys are being let go and that having issues five, six, seven, eight, nineteen years later that never manifested at such a young age. You know, I've had buddies who played the game, and you know, whether they were twenty two or twenty five, a lot of these issues don't manifest into you a lot a lot older. And at that point, if you hadn't played in the NFL and you hadn't made an exorbitant amount of money, you can take care of yourself

from a health standpoint. But there's a lot of guys from the collegiate game that are struggling right now. And I think the NFL has to get with the n C double A to bridge that gap between you know, what's happening in the NFL and what's happening at the collegiate level. For sure, I'm with you. Uh, let's start here, let's go back with the love of the game. You know, tell me this where'd you grow up and how did

football enter your life? Yeah? Yeah, So I'm from a small city in Florida called Largo, And I tell you what, it's so small. My mother used to say, you better tell me who you're crushing on because it could be your cousin. That's how that that that's how small the community was, you know, and and a couple of times she was right. You know, I'm from Kentucky, a right. So, so my my love for football started at a very

young age. Rex, Like I was that kid. I grew up in Florida, so Tampa Bay the Bucks were my favorite team, and I used to I remember back in the day they had these like plastic uniforms with plastic helmet and show the pass and I would remember sleeping in it to the point I wanted to go to school in this football uniform. So my love for the game started when I was probably like five years old. And I started playing organized football when I was seven

and I never missed a year. And so, uh, my uncle, my uncle Charles, he was a huge influence in my life. He was a military guy. So the way I would get disciplined when I was younger was if I didn't take out the trash or do dishes or you know, messed up in school for whatever reason. He would take me out and we called his run the Kumba. He would find the biggest field possibly could fine and we would run around this field. In every corner. We would either do sit ups or push ups or jumping jack's.

He would work my ass out, you hear me. It's basically it's coaching. You were getting coached from a really young age because we're all punished by doing more right in sports. Right. So so when I started playing organized football, it was it became easy, you know, And I just I loved the game so much. And I was a part of that old culture that we call it the

what do you call it? I forget? This is a drill where two guys you lay on your back and you just oh yeah, something like Oklahoma's Oklahoma Oklahoma, the Oklahoma the Oklahoma drill. So I grew up in that culture, man, and I loved it at the time. You know, I absolutely loved it. And see I hated it. I thought I was a football player and everything I realized I liked hitting. I didn't like getting hit. You know, Well,

I got a funny story. So for me, I thought I loved the game, but I was right there in line with you didn't want When I realized when I got hit for the first time, I boo who cried, I threw my helmet, showed up pass I'm done with this. But that uncle who I told you about, that would take me out running and and push ups and sit ups. He was my coach, so I could not quit. So my first three years there was a guy named Cornelius Thomas. We're still friends to this day. He was the biggest,

baddest young dude that played on our team. And every day we would hit. My uncle would make me go against Cornelius Thomas and I would boo who cried? And boo who cried? And one day, I'll tell you what. One day I got fed up. I was like, I'm not taking this anymore. And I won that battle and we fought right after that. But at that moment, a light bulb went off, as if I can be the aggressor, the collision won't hurt as much, and it just a light switch went off and I was was hooked from

the very beginning. But what age was that, this was probably nine, a ten nine is a blessing. If that's what you're gonna do with your life, that is a blessing to get that mindset at that age. Yeah, it just and it was. It was a great teacher because I realized I was so competitive, and it taught me every day how to bounce back from failure. It was every day it was a result of coach telling you

you did well, you didn't do well. And for a young person, I think it's a great tool, especially nowadays, to be able to manage failure because that's the real world, you know. And my uncle was fantastic at those teaching moments. Man, that's terrific. Here on Time Warner Sports Report, my name is Eric Keenan wart spilling Raymond James Stadium despite all the routing crowd behind us, and I'm now to talk

about our defensive player of the air player. Accuse you know, there are a lot of great defensive players in high school football. They sure fin ellis County. But our defensive player here, he's only a junior. He's got a big time future and that's seminal linebacker to Quell Jackson. It's obvious Jackson possesses those skills and He's hunger to play the game is easily noticed. He's the kind of player doesn't want to come off and feel anyway, So he's

he conditions itself to play both both ways. But we will never know how much better he would be if he's fresh. Every down on defense, the world half defense is the reason Seminal went deep into the postseason. Statistically, Jackson led Seminal and tackles and tackles for a loss. What kind of a player were you in high school? I saw in my research you were a three star recruit. Uh, and not a lot of guys. You know, with the NFL career. You had our three star guys, which I've

always felt was three star for me. Come on, come on, their kids, their kids. Some are gonna grow, some are not gonna grow. You know. I blame Tom Limming. I blamed Tom. It was it was a publishing that just would you know, rank all the guy right right, I'll never forget his name. Oh he pissed me off, defenssed me off, and uh I did it all play on offense? Oh yeah, I was from the time I stepped on

the field. That is played quarterback and linebacker. And in high school I was my freshman year, I played receiver and free safety. I'm not fast enough, but I could catch, so that that marriage didn't work out all that well. So my sophomore year, I transfer high schools and now I'm playing quarterback and I'm playing linebacker. I never came off the field, and at one point I was the punter, you know. I went to punting camps, and oh I

did it all. Man. I loved the game, man, I loved every bit of it, every aspect of the game. The quarterback side gave me. It helped me become a better linebacker and vice versa. Now we ran the wing t I didn't throw the ball a ton, but you know it was. I was more in to position the leadership at that point, to motivate the guys around me too, you know, because I would, you know, talk a little trash to him and give them confidence that we can

beat this team. Because Rerex I went to. I was at a predominantly white school, which is fine, but it was only like a handful of black guys and we were badasses man on the football field. Like those guys, man, I still keep in touch with a ton of them. But I did it all on the football field. How did you end up at Maryland and what made you decided to be a Trappist? Yeah? Yeah, So the current coach right now at the University of Maryland is a

guy by the name of Mike Locksley. At the time when I was in high school, I was a three star recruit. No one really recruited me. I would go to two camps a year, that was U c F and U s F University of Central Florida and University of South Florida. And they're a guy named jene Chiswick who went on to be the head coach at Arburn. He was the first guy to give me a scholarship my I think my junior year of high school. And then it kind of just snowballed and Maryland was the

next team in line. Particularly Mike Lochley, he reached out. I was living with my grandparents at the time. He developed the friendship with them. He made me feel like this was my uncle. Now. I could have gone to l s U at the time when Nick Saban was there, Um NC State, Chuckle Model was there. You know. I had a handful of offers, decent d one offers, but Maryland, for whatever reason, I had that connection with Mike Loxley.

He you had never been to Maryland. I had never been on a plane out of high school, and just the back and forth. He was honest with me. He told me the truth. I wanted to play right away and I just wanted to feel like a sense of home. And then when I was able to take my visit, I was around like minded guys who love football, but they also was invested in the school side of it. You know. It was more so about talking about both, and I can envision myself actually living in my mind

as a high school. I wanted to be in a place where I can potentially live when I'm done playing, and it happened. I'm still in the d n V area. It was the first year after Ralph Freedan had gotten to Maryland and one team games got blown out by University of Florida. And uh, when I got here, I was CULTI shot man, you know, me coming from a small city and coming to this big man tropolitan area. It was rough my first year. Man. I remember calling

the national news is the local news right right? Yeah? It was like I was out of place. I'm like, this is a different world to me. And luckily I have some friendships I created my freshman year was still close to this day. They helped me kind of. It was a bunch of guys from the South. The guys from North Carolina, guy from Texas, another guy from Florida. We knew what we were kind of dealing with and

we helped each other. So um, yeah, it was funny how things come full circle, what happened and when that led you to your transformation as just this unstoppable defensive force,

you know what. So there was one school that I wanted to offer that I wanted an offer for that I wanted to I wanted them to offer me, and no one else would have had another shot at was Florida State was growing up in my town, Florida State was like you were king and so we weren't really us fans, the Gator fans, and they had offered me. I was like, no, I can't, I can't. I can't do it. I'm a Florida State. Yeah. I was like, I can't do it. Just off of the lads alone,

I cannot do it. And Florida State never offered me. Man, they never offered me. So to answer your question, when it really so my sophomore year, I'm a starter and E. J. Henderson, the guy who won the Dick Buckets Award at linebacker, he had graduated, So now I'm a shooting starter. The second game of the season my sophomore year, we're playing at Dope Campbell Stadium. We're playing the team that overlooked me. And I know all the other linebackers they had recruited

that are playing. They were They were all good, don't get me wrong, But I thought I was better than at least one of them, you know. And the first player of the game, Chris Rix, is a quarterback, and I'm I'm like super geek for this game. And first player of the game, Rex throws an out out to the tight end. I intercepted, I returned for fifty eight yards. I scored touchdown. And at that moment Rex, After that game,

I went on to have like ten plus tackles. I blocked the kid, And I remember, I've never felt that there's there's moments in your life where you feel like, damn, I think I'm better than what I actually then I am. You know, I think I'm better and I'm this very humble, obedient kid at the time, you know, and uh, the confidence just oozed out of me. I knew at that moment I could play at the next level. I just did it again. Then you could play on Sundays. There

was no doubt. There was no doubt in my mind. And my grades started to take a hit after that because the focus was shifted. And that's the moment. That's the moment that it still gives me chills thinking about it. That's a beautiful story. It really is the school that overlooked you too. All right, let's go, let's go to the draft. What do you feel like when you got the call? Truth? Man, Oh my gosh, it's hard to put it in the words. You know. I was there

with my family, the people that I love. I didn't have this big, massive, you know, watch party anything. I didn't. It was too much pressure for me. I wanted people that if things didn't work out the way I thought they would, if they didn't work out the way I thought they would, I wouldn't feel embarrassed in front of these people. So it was all my close family and friends, and I remember getting the phone call. I thought I was gonna go, So I petition to the NFL to

see where I would get drafted. They told me anywhere between late first in the early second round talk to some teams. I thought I was going to either Jacksonville or Dallas and it didn't happen. And Rex, I tell you, I had to remove myself from the room where all my family was watching the draft. I was like, I have to get away. I broke down, absolutely broke down crying.

I was like, man, this is too much. So I like put my phones up and uh you know, you know, entitled little kid at this point, like it's just the first round, like relaxed, but in my mind it's everything. And uh so I go to the restroom and I'm actually using the restroom and I have my phone near me and the phone that I have dedicated for NFL exactly,

So what have you? Goes off? So if you can imagine, without me being too detailed, I'm using it back, I'm grabbing, you know, both hands are working, and I'm talking to a GM And I've never told this story because it's you know, I don't want to put these guys out, but I'm like parts are halfway down and I just forget it. Yes, I would love to be a Cleveland Brown, Thank you lord, it happened. What you know, It's like, I don't know what pick it is. All I know

is they called me. It was like, would you love to be a Cleveland Brown and Feel Savage? Kudos to Feel Savage. That's my guy for taking a chance on an undersize linebacker out of a school that didn't win a ton of games. And uh yeah, man, it was a classic story. Literally with your parts down. Yeah, that's pretty much great. Well, you're you're going into the uh was legends this year. So at the time, your time there was pretty special. You know, when did you feel like, Okay,

I'm a pro. I know what I'm doing out here. I feel good and confident and this is what I do. So I got two parts of that that answer. The first answer when I realized I was a pro was when I was injured. I had told my pecks back to back years and I remember the guy who drafted me Feel Savage approaching me in the hallway once and telling me, Hey, if we're here next year, you'll have

a new deal. And at that time, I was spending money that I thought I was gonna get and I was just living on the edge man, and not really buckling down and I understanding or promise is a promise. There's nothing gonna paper here, you know. So that was the first moment I realized, wait, this is a business and a new you know, he gets fired, A new guy comes in, Eric Mangini, and they're like, I don't

care what the hell they promised you you were. They're looking at They're looking at me, and everyone else in that locker room is being part of the problem, not part of the solution. So, you know, that was the first instance I realized like, oh damn, this is different, this is different. But the moment I realized on the field that I had arrived was a year after those two injuries and learned going through that mental just anguish

of not being where you wanted. They signed me to one year deal, and I remember that whole year, I was on tear. I was on a scorch Earth just tour of just killing people. And it was at practice, it was in the games X. I probably didn't have any friends that year. Everybody hated me. My teammates hated me because I practiced hard. It was like, I have one shot and this is a point where I did a deep dive. I was at i MG Academy and a guy named Trevor Muau, and I was going through

a divorce at the time. I felt, you know, I didn't have a pre nup. You know, I'm thinking the world is crumbling at my fingertips. And this guy, who was a sports psychiatrist, he would always hang around the guys working out and he wasn't pushy at all. We built the rapport and I showed up in his office one day and he asked me what I wanted. He was like, what do you want? I'm like, what do you mean? What what do you He was like, what

the f do you want? So we made this like diagram of everything I needed to do to get to the pinnacle of my goals, and my goals was a five year contract worth X amount for X amount of dollars. And when I tell you, it was the best thing that I could have done for myself mentally, because before that I had only known how to train my body, you know, and this was the first experience of my mind being trained. And we developed some techniques and I

felt unstoppable when that happened. You know. Then you segue that spills over to the field and I was on this scorch you know, tour of just chopping every killing everyone man you know on the field. You know, and uh, I don't know if that was a specific moment, that year long was just just unbelievable, just unbelievable how focused I was. That's awesome. American football can be unforgiving on

and off the field. The brutal nature of football and regards to contracts, injuries, lifestyles and more is arguably the most difficult of any professional athlete. A star today can be cut tomorrow, especially if their contract is not guaranteed. Can you imagine what that does to a person? And yet the train rolls on. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Another NFL player, isn't some trouble with the law? Cold linebacker to Quell Jackson was

arrested on Tuesday and charged with assault. How The incident happened in Washington, d C. Where Jackson allegedly punched a pizza delivery driver in the face and head. The driver reportedly told police he was going to use a parking space for a minute when Jackson told him to get out of his barking spot and then punched him on Monday, the Colte said they were disappointed in linebacker to Quell Jackson after he was found guilty in a two thousand

and fifteen assault case. Jackson's sentencing is scheduled for April six. He could face up to one and eighty days in jail for simple assault. That that sentence could be reduced. You know, obviously this is charges we talked about the good talk about the bag. You know, tell me about what happened in in d C and with the parking space at the back of your place. Yeah, so this was on the hills. I just made my first Pro Bowl, you know, I was with Indie, you know, had a

great year. Um, I intercepted Tom Brady an f C Championship game. No talking about the flight gate and you know my name is on the top of everyone's lips, like I didn't have a care in the world. So that incident you're talking about where the Pro Bow was in Arizona. My wife and my family we fly back. We all go our separate ways. My wife and I win d C and she was taking a spin class.

You know, this was two fifteen. So I picked up from spin class and where our apartment is in d C. The one one reason I love d C is I love the uh I hope I say this word right, anonymity. Right, It's like you're exposed to the elements. Right, it's like you're just a free bird if you sit at a bar or someplace and people don't assume you're an athlete. I love that part of it, right. But our condo,

our parking space was on an alleyway. So if you ever been to d C that you street cord or area is busy, you know from it's packed to the brim from Howard students and people just joined the you know, elements, and we deal with a lot of people parking our parking space and now we're used to it. So this particular day, I picked my wife up from spin class and like normal, you know, we're getting ready to park. There's a car in our in our parking space. So

you hit the horn, you know nothing. Usually when you hit the horn, you flash the lights. They realize, oh, they shouldn't be there. They leave because it's a sign that says no trustpassing. And so the guy isn't moving and now my wife is in a passion of seat. So this is a mistake. I May I got out of the car. I get out of the car, his windows up. I'm knocking on the window. Hey, you know, this is my parking space. You gotta move. He looks and just kind of ignored me. And now I'm getting

I'm getting piste. Now I'm knocking a little harder. Now I'm talking a little out of Hey, get that out of my parking space. Nothing is happening. He's still looking at me, and I'm like, what the heck is going on? And all of a sudden, out of the blue Brex. I can see it. I can put myself in that moment, and gives me chills just thinking about it. He rolls the window down, and as the windows rolling down, he's grabbing.

He's reaching for his glove box. And where I'm from, how I grew up and you hear things in d C that means danger to me. And so when he in that he reached I grabbed him, I admitted to the corp. I grabbed around his neck, I grabbed his arm, like what do you what are you doing with restrained him and immediately, which is terrible, my wife is still in the car. I run to you street, where as a ton of foot traffic cops. I grab a cop. I tell him, hey, I got this crazy guy in

my parking space. He won't leave. Yeah, I thought he was reaching for a weapon or something. I grabbed him. That was it. We come back, the guys trying to pull out of the parking space. He stops him. He asked the guy his version of the story, and this guy basically said I did everything to him other than I mean, it was ridiculous. It was so ridiculous to the point where I was like kind of chuckl him, like you cannot. I was like, look at me, and

look at him. If my intentions were to hurt this person, I would like to think he would he would be on the ground still. So next thing, you know, sir, put your hands behind your back. I'm getting cuff. You know, a lot of the cops didn't know, you know. And now it's the scene, and now we're in an alleyway. This is a you know, a nice neighborhood, you know in d c Is and you know, everyone lives among

each other. And I just remember just having that feeling of just like, out of all my years I've avoided and tried to be a few steps ahead of any never in your life, never been in trouble in my life. Never. Never. I'm thirty plus years old. I'm going home. It's not a weekend. This is like an eight o'clock on like a Tuesday. I'm not drunk, I hadn't had anything to drink. I'm as clear headed as I can be. And I

get arrested trying to park in my parking space. And the stories you heard after that was just you know, the quail beats up with pizza man, because you know, you know, just it was so just not the truth. And when I was basically in a situation where I thought I was going to be killed potentially, I was protecting myself. I take it to trial. I lose the trial. The guy was so based on what happened, thought you could beat it. Uh, that's why you went to trial, right.

So the guy tried to sue me for over a million dollars over a million dollars, and he refused medical care. There was no medical care. So all the things that he said that I apparently did, he said I threw him over the hood, I kicked him, I did all these different things. We lose basically because in d C if you admit unwanted touch is considered a simple assault a misdemeanor. So I was there was no fine, there

was no probation or anything like that. The NFL find me, I think like ten or fifteen thousand dollars and the guy end up getting six figures. Thank goodness, I had really great insurance. But the guy collected six figures off of And here's the thing. When I was in Indie planing, my wife was in d C working, so she dealt with a lot of this all the time. And I would tell her, do not get out of the car, called the police, and I didn't listen to my own

freaking you know. But it is just an unfortunate event, man, And and she was being stalked at her job. Well, I can see I can feel the regret in your voice. And yeah, man, story, I'm so sorry. You know what. I own it. And it's just like you realize on the back night of my career when I'm not doing anything to throw you know, I'm not doing that to Quell Jackson mainly in the NFL and tackled, but he won't be seeing any playing time in the next four weeks.

The Colt linebacker is suspended from the league for violating its policy on performance enhancing substances. Now you go through the arrest. It's a following season twenty sixteen, I believe. Uh, tell me about the p D suspension. You suspended four games? Uh,

how did that come about? What was happening? Man? I invested into my recovery playing a simple I'm a guy that I'm a huge on it of growth hormones h g H. I think every guy that has an injury um that requires surgery should be prescribed a certain a healthy dose of growth hormone. Our body produces it at the right dosage. It's healthy, it helps repair those broken down ligaments, and it's nothing but beneficial if taken right.

And I was a guy. If you asked anyone whoever played with me rex Hell, the quote was like a gym er. He would try anything that I thought that could help me. And if the line was right here in front of me, I was towing the line. You know, when it comes to my recovery, because you realize the position I played. I played a there was no avoiding contact,

there was no avoiding the collisions. So I had to do what was best for me to provide for my family, and when you love something so much, you're willing to do anything to to succeed at it. And there was another embarrassing moment in my career where it was like, oh my gosh, like how did I let this happen again?

And it was embarrassing from family, my wife. It was like, and you're gonna always have people to say, oh, he was only good because he took whatever, and we all know there's no magic pill, there's no magic shot, there's no magic anything that can make you average to a Kobe Bryant or Tom Brady or someone like that, that there's no such thing. You still have to put in

the work. I was embarrassed, yes, because I got caught, but I knew and that undercurrent of the NFL, there's a lot of guys like myself who played the game at a with a level of recklessness that you have to play also with the gentleman's respect, but you realize you have to be able to recover. And that was a component that a lot of young guys don't understand. And I was heavily invested into that. I'm with you if if I could get it shot up. When I

played I got it shot up. If if if nobody's no Overcain, if it was gonna not do no permanent damage, I was doing it so And I think what a lot of people don't understand is that, you know, the job is is so cutthroat. If you're not in you know, if you don't if you missed two days, for most players, somebody's gonna take your job, and you know, and they're probably doing whatever they can do right behind you. So

it's tough. A lot of people don't understand that little nugget of information you just let out because the pressure of knowing if you don't perform, they're gonna replace you. If you're injured, which everyone who plays a professional sport,

you're not healthy, you're dealing with something. You know. That's a lot of pressure on on young people, you know, when you're young and you so much as expected of you, you know, and that's while I think a lot of guys, you know, we train our bodies, but we don't invest heavily into the above the shoulders, man in the head and the mental side of it, because that's a lot of the game is the mental side. So when you when it happens, you realize that's it. My career is over.

When did you first start noticing maybe something is different with my brain? Man? You know, that's one of those topics where you hear so much throughout the NFL, you know the last you know, every year during training camp they'll have someone come in and talk about c T E and the head trauma. That's the moment to ask questions and there's no way of fixing it. It's like, once you lose it, you can't get it back. Can we find information about how to repair and keep what

we have? Like? There has to be more to it. So it's always been on my mind of how can I maintain what I have? And that has to be a more positive rhetoric out here in terms of brain issues when it comes to professional athletes. So for me, it was always on my mind, and even more so

when I was finished. When you lose that, what do you say when you when you play the game for so long, you're used to being a team and when you know what you know what Steve Nash told me one time, and I'm sorry to interrupt you, but Steve he uh we were talking and and you know, I had been long retired and he had recently retired, and you know he was going through a little you know, just a that first year or two being out that sort of and I said, how you doing He said, well,

you know, I missed being around the team. He said, also, I miss going in every day and with no matter what's going on in your life, those two hours you can run around running into people, taking out some frustration, taking out some aggression. When that's gone, because that's a habit since you're five years old, right, and so when that's gone and you can't do that anymore, that void is gotta be deep. And especially for you guys in

the sport you play. Yeah, there's a ton of I have some friends now that now I'm on the other side of things that have been suicidal when they've had to that point. They missed that, that brotherhood and that camaraderie, and it's all taken away from you like that, and now you're thrown about it. Yeah, you don't think about no one. It's like having a baby. You can read all the books, but you have no idea of how to take care of this little baby until this baby arrives.

And it's similar in a sense where everything is taken away. Now you don't know how do you prepare it for? You thought you'd prepared for it, but there's no way of preparing for just feeling feeling a void, of trying to feel a part of something. And for us athletes, a lot of it is self driven. I want to feel like I'm I'm contributing. And I've had friends who were So you're grieving your career, you know, you're you're in grief. That's something I had to learn. We all do.

I think I think we all do um. You know, So when did CTE really become something in your life? Like did guys talk about it in the locker room? Because all that stuff with the lawsuit and the settlement and Will Smith movie, when was that While I was playing guys, it was taboo. Guys didn't really talk about it, you know. It's like you didn't want to just feed that negative, that negative rhetoric. You know, Like we really didn't talk about it much. But I talked about it

a ton with my agent. I talked about a ton with former guys who were kind of including me in on, Hey, this is how we need to take care of ourselves. You know, I've actually you know, I live in here in d C. And I've met a lot of different people, and I'm actually later next month, I'm going to a place to specifically address what's could possibly going on in my head. Now I don't feel any lingering effects, but I want to be proactive on trying to figure out.

And this is separate from the NFL, because I've had it's like a love hate relationship with the NFL. Whatever whatever information they get, I want to go toward someone completely independent to give me results that doesn't affect a lawsuit. You know, It's just I feel more just what have So you haven't really had any um, you know, effects of it that you can point to or even if you can't, do you have and not names? But do you have I'm sure you have friends that are going

through some things. What are some of the things that are going through? Um? You know, one of my friends had a liver transplant before the age of forty and it was I think it was between the he played linebacker and the trauma of he was in a culture where you self medicated, right and pills, pills, alcohol, um, you know, all these different things to cope you know and deal with you know, uh, injuries and mental you

know stress. I saw my buddy on his deathbed and that really we didn't think he was gonna make it. And now he's three four years of sobriety, doing well, it's had two kids. I mean, it was tough to see that. It was it was really tough to see that man, and and know that hell, we were doing this, doing these things together at one point, you know, and I and I felt myself going down a dark place. And luckily for me, I was still playing and he retired.

So the things that we talked about just kind of just manifested and just you know, winning the overdrive and uh, you know, it was a dark time, man, It really was a dark time and we went down some It was like fun when it was happening, but with you, you know it just you know, you want to live now we have kids. You want to live for your kids, and you want to be here. You want to enjoy life, and that enjoyment of life is not the fun that I want to go back to. You know, I'm with you.

That's growth, yeah, man. Yeah. When the lights are the brightest and being broadcast around the world on game day, you have to succeed or the team will find someone that will fill your spot. Sadly, it's the recovery and sometimes steps to the extreme that have to be taken to ensure you still have your talent and even slot on the roster tomorrow. Competition amongst brothers in the league, but even against ourselves eternally and internally, is a battle

that happens behind the scenes. Some handle it better than others, but especially in the warlike conditions of the National Football League, the effects can be debilitating. We'll be right back after this word from our sponsors. I know this is a tough question and not something that can be summed up very quickly, probably, but what do you think the NFL's responsibility is in all of this with CTE? What do they need to do? Is there anything they can do?

I'll tell you what, if they really cared about their athletes, state would give us. First of all, the information they provide for the players needs to be on par with with what's going on. You know this, there's this huge undercurrent of just mixed emotions about the NFL and how they handled the initial information about CTE and did they hold it did they not? You know, I'm friends with

an owner and I can't name his name. And you know, I feel like the NFL has known about it, and now of recent we're hearing about, you know, the Will Smith movie. You know, we're hearing about you know, we have to hear about the junior sayals of the world committing suicide. You know, if you ever gonna rad affect you, guys,

how does that affect you? Guys? You're I mean, we've lost some amazing, amazing and talented special people in football, you know, especially you know recent and in recent years. How does that affect you and your brethren? It's scares the ship out of us, man, it scares the ship out of us, because you never know, that's probably weekly that I have a conversation with my wife if I can't remember anything. I'm like hyper sensitive about it is

just a trend. Like like I'm I'm always thinking about it, always thinking about it. So I try to keep myself as mentally stimulated as possible. I'm not a big reader. I've read so much since the pandemic, you know, It's like I have to keep my my brain turning. And to answer your question about the NFL and what I think they need to do. That needs to be a better transitional um effort for guys when you're done, because and it's gonna come from a former guy, it has

to because we have rookie transition. Why don't we have veteran transition? Make that only makes sense, right, it only makes sense, right. We can be better just to understand what you're right there? Right, there's no symposium for that transition, and there's different resources you can connect. This is there. But if you're going through something, you don't realize you're

going through something everyone else mandatory as a rookie. It's mandatory as rookie, right right, right, I mean that's the first step, right, And now you now as that create some buzz. Now you have doctors and and sports psychiatrists. We have to create this platform of disarming ourselves too in order to be better for ourselves. And that's you know, a lot of guys are weird about seeing a psychiatrist. Hell like that. I wish I would have seen one

years ago, you know. So I think the culture is slowly changing in terms of how barbaric it used to be and how it is now with social media and everything like that, that you can't the NFL has to respect, you know, with the social change that's going on and

all these other different platforms these players have. But well, how many times would you deliver a hit in a game or get hit in the game where you knew you should come out for a second, but you didn't, you know, because that that was nothing that you as did at that point, right. I mean, now they've got spotters and they know it's a little different now. But I used to watch you guys all the time, and I'm surprised you guys aren't hurt on every play, every

single play. So but I just wonder how many times you're out there, and for a player too, if not more, you're you don't really remember what's going Yeah that, I mean, I can't even count how many times that's happened, you know, Until probably my fifth of six year, you see a

shift in the NFL of how they address things. You mentioned the spotters, and there's this emphasis and push on player safety all of a sudden, why, you know, because the lawsuits were creeping up, so they have to protect themselves. And I remember an instance I was in um this is when I knew the league had changed. I was playing in Indy and I think we were playing a Giant's and I read a play a backside puller was pulling and I met him in the hole. I saw

it coming. All I remember is taking a step. And then when I saw the film later, I got hit in the temple and I blacked out right and I got up and me being the person that I am, you know, you come to and all these people are looking at you and to ask you all these questions. Now I'm getting pissed at them because they think I'm they know something. I've been blacked out, But in my mind, I'm like, I'm not coming out like blah blah blah, you know, to ask me all these questions. What's your name?

Who do you play for? You know? And I at that moment I heard some players, a guy named Dere's butler. When it happened, they were screaming, come god. I remember that vividly. And uh. There was another instance where I got my bill wrong and same guy he approached me was like, hey, man, you you got one more snap and I'm letting the right people know you know you're not right. I'm like, no, man, I need this, I need this man. You know my money is tied up

and it's incentive base. You know. I was like, man, I need this man, and it's a conflict. It's a conflict of venturess. And you know, there's some things I've done to my body when I was much younger trying to figure out, you know, how to survive. And when my contract was literally I made money based on if I would play on Sunday. If you're available, I give I give you, give you a quick story. So I had never had shin splint. This is early in my career.

I never had shin splints before in my life. I used to thank people who got shin splints with just overreacting and I wake up right until I wake up one Sunday morning and my shins are on fire, and I'm like, what the hell is this? So I knew a nurse. I call a nurse. He's like, hey. I was like, I need some toward all, I need some toward all pills. I need some perkose at And she

got me both. And when I tell you the worst like those are the one of those moments in my career where I look back and like, man, you were like that was the dumbest thing I could have done, but during that time it made the most sense. I mean, I had taken three or four Perkose said, you know I had, you know, toward all. You know, toward all.

You don't feel anything? Hey me and I won't say the name, but a teammate of mine late in our career, mum, for the last two years, our doctor would give us toward all at home before the game, but they wouldn't trust. You know, we couldn't do it on the road. So we would pack two syringes of toward all and he and I would give each other toward all shots before the game. Same same. That was my That was my life. That was my life. I did it for many years, man,

just to survive. You know, talk about for a minute, the self experiments and things you're doing. You know, why you're doing them, and what do you hope comes out of them? Yeah? Man, So you know, one of the ways I'm trying to help myself and help other people that are transition and some of my buddies particularly, is

to start the podcast The Athletes Unplug. You know, I realized, if we can have these conversations with each other and we can compare similar stories, you and I it's there utick, and you feel like you're wanted, you feel like you're

part of something. I've never been afraid to Even when I was playing Rex, I knew I was on my way out sort of because the things that I was, you know, for instance, I haven't really talked about this openly, but there's this undercurrent of veteran players in the National Football League who advised some of these younger guys if they're injured, right Like, I had a rocky, you know,

experience with team doctors. So I've always taken a stance of if you're diagnosed with something, go get a second opinion. They'll pay for it, they'll fly you out, Go get a second opinion. And now I haven't been in the locker room in five years, but I'm quite sure this element of that culture still exists where they look down on you, you know, as a veteran coaching these guys of how to take care of their bodies and how to be an independent contractor, you know. And I was

a huge component of that. The older I can put because I had saved my money, I had done the right things, and if you're gonna kick me out based on that then I was okay, but I didn't want My fear was I didn't want this young person to ever for us to ever cross paths years later into and and be mad or resent me for not telling him how to manage this business. So I would have these conversations with coaches you know you've had. I've been put in situations where hey, a guy has a baby.

You know, Hey, you're the leader. Hey can you just training camp? Hey? You know, we really want them to stay. I'm like, what, what the hell you want me to tell him? If you want what I'm gonna tell him, you better go see your baby because you gotta live with your baby's mother for the rest of your life. You know I'm not doing that. You know, It's like, what are we doing here? I'm gonna be the bad guy for you, right, That's not happening. It's not happening.

And so you know, I became a little not that rebellious, but I realized, like, man, this it's not all about the game. I love it, unequivocally, love it, love everything about it, but you know I'm not gonna lose my self in it. No, and that it is powerful to share. I mean, there are plenty of things that I saw going in the locker room that you know, I couldn't fly today, that I didn't say shit about, you know, and that I look back like, man, I uh, you know,

and you have regrets about that. You know, you're you're older than I guess that's just maturity. What do you think about the game of football, nolte Quell, What advice would you get parents or young people playing the game today? Yeah, I think it's a great tool for young people. Young people playing, I think it's a great tool to teach them about how to keep pushing forward and push through fears, push through failure. Right, I think it's a great tool

for that. However, I would suggest any parent that wants to put their kid into a contact sport like football. Listen, I played eleven years and I'm indifferent. If my son wants to play, I can't stop him, but I would wait until his later years to throw him into that contact spoort. And I think it's a great game, And honestly, I don't want him playing football, I really don't. I know the ugly side of it and the pressure of that mounts on it, and if you're not built for it,

you're not gonna last. It could tear you down. And I'm not trying to, you know, make it seem like feel sorry for professional athletes. Listen, they make a lot of money doing what they love, but it's an exorbitant amount of sacrifice that goes into it that everyone pays the price and when you're done playing. You know, we talked about a lot of those different things, but what

I would tell people do your homework. Do your homework, Understand the level of stress and the level of danger you're putting your kid through, and you assess it there. Because for me, I don't want my son playing. Honestly, I love the game of football, but I don't want my son playing football. I just don't. I just don't. I've been through so many dark days and I don't

feel comfortable with that right now. I'm proud that you're able to voice this because think about it, you guys are the first generation to have this information, right, I mean, essentially you're the first generation to have this information as young people. Right. Are there any causes, any organizations you want to bring attention to the quill? You know, not at this moment, but can I bring some attention to

my podcast as well. Absolutely listen. Um, I'm trying to create a platform like you and I to talk about everything underneath the sun. You know it's that it's called Athletes Unplugged. Uh. That's three things that most people that know me know I enjoy doing. I like smoking a cigar. I like some red wine, and I love my whiskey. And I try to I try to create that platform, that space is. I feel like I've had some of the most meaningful conversations at my house by the fire

pit when those three things were involved. Obviously under control, but but it's therapeutic. I want people to just experience it in and we have fun. We have last we talked about real stuff similar to what you're doing. And I'm bringing all my friends on the ride with me. Man, that's great. I can't wait to check it out. You let me know I'll come on any time you want. Thanks. I can't thank you enough to Quell for being on the show, sharing your story with all of us. You

know we're rooting for you and your health. And if there's ever anything I can do, my door is always open. Thanks my guy, Rex, I really appreciate it. Man. I get to talk to a NBA star. Man. That that's great man, So I would love to have you on the podcast. We could talk more about anything you want to talk about. And I'm here for anything you need for me. I'm here for you brother. Thanks man, I

appreciate you. Got it Charges Serving no run ins with the law charges she Lee send the tenors and balls and charges the celebrity gank formals charges we came along with from Living Lawless Charges. Serving no runians with the charges, Lee send the tenors and balls and charges the celebrity gank forlormals charge we came along with from Living Lawless charge. Job Charges is created by Portlay and Control Media. It's produced by DV Podcasts in association with I Heart Radio

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