009: Worship Me-Remastered

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Episode 9, Worship Me. Hello there. Worship me. Our group leaves Goodfellow with more questions and answers than they had before, and two new pacts. Now they head back to Melchior. Mm-hmm. So you are leaving the house of your new patron, Brian. Brian. Good fellow. What did we learn from you? That the book belongs to the court and that it will murder us. And nobody can help us. All right. Yes. I was right. You have a magic fanny pack. And I thought you were pregnant for like an entire session.

Fanny pack. I skipped up a magic book and there was a tingling right here. And then the other magic book, there was a tingling right here. And I was like I asked for a guy who had a fantastic, we sincerely don't know what our next step we have to go back to um to Milky Ear and Pettigore was there one thing or the elf one Palmyra Palmyra no that was the other one that Soraya says it's just getting worse.

I'm still worse or Mesa or something Soraya Soraya's not there Soraya's the one that's missing I'm going to give you my sort of sign. No, I was thinking of that. I'm sorry. I just saw it. Yes, the meatball loan that owns our soul now. Only yours. No, I didn't. As a Catholic, though, I have to believe that I was an asshole. Interesting. I had a result, you know. Oh, my God. Because I'm pretty like. Whoa. No, you're. That's my guy. That's the old world. New world, though. He's okay with the soul.

But the gays and the dogs had them both all the same level of that's all the quality that's all in text.

You're going back to the druid, yeah, I guess we didn't have anything else on our list, right? Yeah, not really He told us to go talk to it. Yeah told us to go talk to robin, We're checking robin. He's what? Well melchior told us to talk to robin, so we'll go back and tell him Barry wasn't allowed to talk because Barry just knew. Even someone else in the party was charismatic than Barry, though. So, you're going back to the druid? Yes. What is the in-story reading for Why the Tankard Comes?

Oh man, she was our smartest character. I just had a conversation. She drank the fizzy lifting drink, and she got kicked out of the laundry factory. Or, same thing happened with the needle. She was long and dirty. Can we, like... Get our potions back? Get our potions out of her pouch before she hops away. I mean, yeah, let's... Because you also have to get the book out of her pouch. Yeah, alright, so we put that all in the magic fanny pack.

Can we keep all our crap in your magic fanny pack because none of us have pockets? Get it back. I don't have hands to go in the... I have plenty of extra limbs. I have six boots and tentacles and no hands to go in the pockets. I asked for one of those things. How many healing potions does she have? She used... We've used... I don't know. She took one and I took one. I want to fill you in, but also I'm aware that we know nothing so I'm not going to fill you in now. We're just going to wait.

We're going to work it out. I know. That's so against my nature. Chloe doesn't need to be filled in. I know. My nature is to be built. He doesn't need to know everything. My nature is to tell people everything. Just because you don't need to know anything about him yet. He doesn't exist. He's not here yet. And here's a picture with your words. Well, so you haven't told me what you're doing. Okay, we're going back to this. Okay, you're going back to this.

To do what? To tell him that we have this book that everyone's trying to murder us for, and maybe see if he wants to keep it. And maybe somehow he got wrapped up in that. Yeah, went to court. That would explain, like, they attacked him. They're saying for the Lord, you know, that's the Lord of the hug now. Yeah. All right, maybe he has Some actionable Intel plan. Yeah, maybe we know who was trying to attack him. They were super invested.

That's like two days ago Yeah, let's go. Let's find out man. Okay, you know, I can do Walking past. Then Rousseau. Did you have a wolf friend with him? Oh, a dire wolf friend. Yeah. Very large wolf friend. Is that 50? Yeah. Pomeroyal. Pomeroyal. Oh, big.

Pomeroyal. So you approached the droid. The droid won the badge, because we, like, made a deal with your friend. How's that going to turn out for us? Time to pay for it. No? What deal did you make? Hypothetical. What did we hypothetically do? There wasn't, like, worship involved or something, right? Oh, in what, favor, I think? Mm-hmm. You know, in the favor. Very right as you found, so. I mean, he's never asked anything of me, but I've never really made any deals with him.

Oh, I can't tell you. Was he helpful? Yeah. Yeah, we know why everyone's trying to kill us. Sort of. Sort of. Book we found? Yeah, we got to kill you.

Longs to the unsealing. In the fairway. hmm specifically the king thing yes apparently they can track it because they know where it is, oh okay and i pulled the book out and honey we were paying for the whole thing and okay i can't do that don't touch it anyway they tracked the book computer and i might have sent some people to try to get it unfortunately Unfortunately, you're not going to hear that. So they're tracking our boys. Maybe. Wait.

Wasn't he attacked before we had been back here with the boat? I don't think so. Why would they think he had the boat? Unless they did it with someone in the area. That's the smartest thing to ever say. He's going to stop talking now. All right, go watch the cave. So is there a way to untrack the boat?

Well, if we give it to the... If we if we try to like leave it somewhere for the unsealed important to get if we had a like hand It's on the probably the tell us we don't give it back We try to give it a silly boy really court. I thought they were also gonna tell us It was that somebody that was lower chair lower chance of murder. I'll say Mike's to kill us and maybe you also They might just say we don't want that. Yeah, I think that was probably club turn. Yeah, who's that?

Jeremy's greatest treasure you're asking. Yeah I. Well, I'm a druid. I don't like metal. So, you're a bear. I hold out my clasp. Bear looks very galefully at the fish iron boots he's been chopping around the room that I've grown up with. I mean, you can use metal as much as you want. I have no desire for it. While you were gone, a wolf showed up. That pony is a little thicker than me. Right now, he is. I assume you're introducing us to this wolf because you can also talk to him anything.

Yeah, I say I'm not. You weren't just going to talk to him.

Talk to a wolf, boys. I'm just going to talk to a random wolf. Barry assesses that the soul is bigger than him and decides not to try to tackle him to the ground like the last person to join the party. Honey stands like that bear going, wait, that's the... What's the wolf's name? Rocksha. Rocks, R-O... R-S-H-A-J. That's still Rocksha. The higher power that guides Barry's actions also builds Rocksha's character. Does he know that Rocksha has more strength than Barry?

Okay So Take you back And we have this book And I don't want to be Attacked anymore Is the elf back? No I don't want to be Attacked anymore Do you think There's something in the book To Gluck it? I don't know And you?

Our smartest Our smartest Party member Who could read the book Turned back into A kangaroo and hopped away Yeah Bob could read the book Yeah We don't really have A great chance To read the book, I'll try I got it going well Denise's character name I wrote it down was something similar to a name in the head nod and then we thought of her name let me see that book okay, he walks over and like just oh wait so I made Chan pick the book up for him thank you.

Very good he starts a page to the book what can he he says one of the best things in the legible I don't know what language it is written in and I can't read, we all speak yeah do we also all speak beast or do we all speak dog we speak dog we talk, direwolf don't usually speak anything I thought that beast was one of the communal languages that we had but it is not um what did you do,

fingers Oh, fingers. I'm trying to look at it. That's nice. I mean, you will stop eating covines, I'm trying to do. I don't know if they can do any kind of the song. Everything you try to say is confusing, Towson. He's paging through the book. He finds a spell. He doesn't know the spell, but he'd think if he had enough time, he might be able to cast the spell. You don't know what it does? No, he knows what it does. Oh, okay. He does not personally. Sorry.

I thought we had another like another random magic effect user here and I can't deal with three of them. No, this would be like I like trying to cast a spell that you can't use. Yeah, what do you need us to do? I can't sing a spell. Can I almost do like a spell scroll that you can't use? Yeah, alright. So it would be like super difficult? Gotcha, gotcha. Anything you can do to help? Anything possible in this situation? I tromp over in my ironies.

He said you can place a illusion on the object to make it give off false information. Okay. Is it going to be more false information than I gave up? Because I only seem like I'm five feet to the left of where I ever hit, but I need more than five feet, because I'm a little better than my illusion right now. And because your illusion goes away if someone punches you in the face. So, yeah, it's going to be a problem. Who's to say that this illusion wouldn't

go away if someone punched the book, huh? Well, they're going to find the book and do it. Well, if it's only five feet to the left, they got a 50-50 shot. Perfect. See this? That's perfect. I mean, 50 times they will punch you. 50 times they will. So, we just have to make sure that 50 times they don't punch you is perfect. Gary is laughing really hard right now.

He is going to try and give it a false aura with his spell, which you change the way the target appears to spell the magical effects, such as detect magic, and detect magical aura. You can make a non-magical object appear magical, a magical object appear non-magical, or change the object's magical aura so it appears to belong to a specific school of magic. And you choose when you use this effect on an object, you can make the false magic apparent to any creature that handles the item.

That's good. That'll, uh, that checks out. Yeah, sounds right. We had one wizard in the party, and she couldn't make me make one thing through. So, this spell takes a lot. Especially since it's normally a wizard spell, and you're a wizard outbound. Sucks. I am a drozan. I am not a wizard. I know that. So it's going to take a while. Have you run into those people that attacked us? No. My memory serves. What? Very hard. I should have up there and tell you. We met Robin.

Yeah? Yeah. You gave this one plus five to her normal intelligence And you were like, oh, you can keep the intelligence you have in the book. Yup. Plus five. I also have three. That's a minus one. So I'm gonna go over here. And I'm gonna start casting. I'm getting that. I put my boots around the tree like a little ring. And I climb into the tree and nap. If anybody touches my boots, if my boots aren't there, I'm gonna kill all of you when I wake up. So this is essentially the Grove. Right?

And you're gonna go over and you start casting. Other people are going to go hang out. You're going to do what now? I'm going to leave all my boots around the tree in a little circle, and I'm going to climb up the tree. What's the name of the gang? Or the Kenku of you? Kenku. What are the rest of you doing? Do you hear what you want to hear? I am going to try to sneak up and swap the boots. Okay. You realize there's too much to notice. That's one of them's actually gone. And the rest of you?

Lava's done leaving now. Oh, I didn't see anything now. It's been half an issue. Pat? Flutter around for a little bit, and then roost in a tree. I wouldn't call him if I didn't roost him. I believe her. She's an entomologist. I believe her, because I have no idea what else I wouldn't call him. That's a bug, right? That's a bug. That's a bug. Close enough. Be a bug. Okay, so this domain will come around past its perception. Fourteen. Eleven. Fourteen. I don't mean that. Fourteen. Eleven.

Yeah, pervasive. Roll perception. Make the rest of everyone else. And yet you look at human perception. Five. Mom, is it a hearing or smelling perception? Yeah. Yeah. You roll this one, you roll that twice, and take the higher number. Take the other number, probably. Twelve. Plus. Perception, which is one. 17. 19. 30. I have 13. Can you roll? 30. 30 for me. And Becca and Selina roll. Okay, so Becca, Selina, and...

Right. Champ. Champion. Champion. Champion. Yeah. Hear like a slight grunt, and then you can smell blood in the air. Honey just kind of like sits up. I look up and make sure I'm on the tree. Barry's still in the dream. Barry appears to be happy. I was like, follow my nose. You follow your nose, and it looks like the druid has been struck by an arrow. Is he still standing? Yeah, well, he's kneeling, still concentrating on the spell, but he's injured.

Help, help, help, help, help, help. I don't think I can. I lumber over. Barry tries to draw a fair few trees into all three characters' boots. They've been moving around here, so you could drop into like all of them, but you'd be very uncomfortable. Bearing yellow with displeasure and then put scabies boots on and cloths over. I just really walked over. You've been chasing your tail for like an hour? Oh no. What up, honey? Help, help, help. Help, arrow.

I'm wondering where you saw where the arrow came from. Well, it's sticking out of his shoulder, and it seems to have came from that direction. Go that way. Can you move someone who's concentrating on a spell, like, without working up their figure? Can I, like, put him in his hot wood, where he should have been the whole time? I don't think that's a good idea. To move someone who's concentrating on a spell? I mean, how do you want a spell

to run around and bite people? I think it's that different than someone else. This is extra-conscious. Oh, extra-conscious. I didn't read that part. He's casting a wizard spell. Where did the other ones go? Are they in another hut? They're just off to the back. I take a buff. They've all just happened in these. I take a buff. I lumber very quickly over to the others, and I say, help, help, help, help, help.

Help what? Help your red friend. They look like they're in a bush, and they do not know what they see, because this has happened before, and they were in the midst of it and they immediately take up battle positions what do we do i am i go stand i go stand up we're having a reaction technically because i just remembered something i can do no we did a projectile for five levels and somebody had a projectile maybe so initiative is you roll

your d20 and then you add this right here this initiative which is a 3. You can also put that on the canvas but, Listen, if I was you, I would have kept it in my lap, and then, because I'm going around, my numbers are going to be like, oh, oh, 15. Do you add, your initiative is just to do deaths, right? Yeah. Okay, usually. Usually. For a monk, there's nothing weird about it. Like, oh, ah. I can't read my hand, right? I thought it said five, I'm pretty sure it's a three.

She does not have any steps. Well, if she's a champion, it'll be a little tough. Yeah, okay. So I add three. 3. That's the 2 decks. Mine's also a 3. Should I roll? Fall back. Should I roll? Oh, yeah. Do you have a plus 3 deck? Yes. Or none. Yes. So, what's your initial? 7. 7? Yeah, but I don't know. What are you going to do? 6? Boy, we're doing stellar. 9? That's the 11. 11? That's the 30-20. 30-20? What? I see. Oh, I thought you had... I'm sorry. I thought you had three.

And Tyra? No, I'm sorry. Fourteen? Yeah. What did you have? Eleven. Exactly eleven. Exactly eleven. No, it's just eleven. Sean, what's your character's name? Oh, it's in the back. Dang, we really need a secret out here. If I say it out loud, everyone will know. Is it Glove? No. Okay. What is it? Is it Magic Mask? I mean, there's many gloves. That is the Stargazer. Oh, okay. Oh, damn it. Wait, what? Oh, no. I don't know. What is it? He told me, let's tell him he has it.

It's perfect for screwing with people. I don't think I have your name. Taxidermy, I'll tell him. You got it, Frank. Oh, here. That makes sense. Yeah, this is a good version. The name on the sheet. I got one thing written down. That's my name. I didn't know that was your name. That was my name. Did you name armor class? Yeah. His name is past your work as a subject. Armor class plus two. Your father armor class plus one. Married my mother armor class plus one. And created armor class plus two.

So your father armor plus one and married your mother class plus one. You gave me a different thing you said. 19? 20. 30-20. And Selina you had 30-20 just means that it got up to 20 when they added stuff to it. Why didn't you let that free? I'll hold you. It's funny, I'm going to die. It's funny, I'm going to die on that. You see you're wearing it, guys. Mine. Yeah, they will. What happened to your Albert glove? I'll just combine mine and my own. Yeah, it was love. It's in the same order. So.

Yeah, and you know what? That's fair. I'd say put it out loud, but some people at the table won't get it. I've seen the movie. I know. I'm just eating a dick. I'm in character. What movie? Blurring. No, no. The extended edition of Trilogy. So. Towers of Sin. I've never seen it. So you didn't like anything? No. Let's say it's Bat Autobot. You really gave me the credit. Who is it about? Who wrote it? I don't know. I can't say their name, apparently. George R. R. Martin. Eddie Close.

Excuse me. I only have a few minutes. They don't mean anything. That's why you don't run with them. So he made up his own initials to sound smart. He did. I mean, I make up. Anyway, Tolkien's the guy that C.S. Lewis copied. What a hard and mental... C.S. Lewis is in the middle of... You'd listen to Tolkien talk about the world he was creating, and he just went and was like, Oh, that should be really cool.

Tolkien spent like 30 years. Yeah, and C.S. Lewis spent four hours on a bar with Tolkien reading Arya. Well, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, well, you've seen the direction you've come.

You've seen two balls of energy shoot out of the darkness of the thorn, and come rushing towards the druid, Mothima. Can I use my raptors to try to grab a wall and I don't know if it's a development. What? Gary's out. You do see two projectiles coming from the druid. I'm going to try to get one of the ones if they do the development I figured out. I'm going to try to grab one. Can I get in between him and the other one? You already did.

I block one with my body and grab one with the tentacle is my question. Not really, because you're using a reaction to grab one. Oh, you need to be moved. Becca? A little, but I think I'm messed up. Yeah, I'm sorry to yell at you. Your reaction is to grab. Technically, you don't really get movement in this turn. It's not really your turn, it's a reaction. I'm going to try to grab whichever arrow looks like it's going to hurt him the most.

Well, I don't know that, and you don't know that, so... Yep, so I'm going to grab an arrow, folks. 6.6 Well, then it'd be 12. No, no, 6.6. And what do you have to... It reduces the damage by 12. If it's reduced to 0, I'd catch it and go. Oh, okay. So if it was going to be stronger, less damage. So one was going to be... One was... Pick right or left, which one you catch it. Left. Left was going to be 9 damage. Okay. So it's reduced to zero, so it then takes ten damage.

So can I, I catch the projectile, and do I see where it came from enough to throw it back, if it was within sixty feet of me? It would very rarely be more than sixty feet, that'd be a disadvantage, you just can't see. So I'm ready if there's an advantage to 60 feet to the long end. Gotcha. You can pop.

Hey, hey, hey. I'm here. Did she get inspiration? No. No, he doesn't do inspiration for puns. We've already tested this successfully. We continue to make them. I'm going to use a key point. I'm going to try to launch that bad boy back at him. Okay. So there's your advantage. It's like advantage, but you pick a lower number. Thanks. Oh, it was a nat 20, but the other one was a 17. So I think we still got it. That's going to be a 20. Nice. And that's going to be my D6 now. One straight.

That's going to be a 6 damage, I guess, piercing because it was an arrow. I died with both arms once. You guys are so excited to try this out with both arms because it's time. Okay, how much damage? 6 piercing. and you see you actually hear the grunt and you see a guy kind of fall out of the thorns a little bit I got him! In front of champion with the arrow sticking out of him I did that I saw you! It would be that's not all they're going to rule perception everybody.

What type of perception one book that you think now I'm funny five is it a hearing perception or is it seeing perception it's not alien, sixteen little fifty-fifty and take the back on to the hearing perception plus oh baby remember that I eat you tonight five plus your perception, perception is four because the person was fourteen and what you I got 100 years. Kyra? I got two. Okay. So everyone but... Are you about to melt out of the head? Everyone but Kyra and... Barry.

Not Barry. Barry. Honey. Honey's in the back. Oh, Honey. How did you not get me there? Recognize. I said everyone but... I got you. Recognize there are two more, and they're starting to try and play. That's all you see right now. Honey, it's your turn. Oh. No. Actually, it's not your turn. Well, we could. Sorry. I appear? You appear. I appear. What appears? What happened? I appeared. He. Not that. Not what I do. But. Very.

Very. I just saw you open the book. I'm gonna die. What the hell is that? It's a baby beholder. You think he a beholder? It's a spectator. It's a baby. Did they grow up as a beholder? But I'm very attractive. I am very full of it. They're not really baby goalers. They're more the dreams of the holder. No, they're... A PHB? Not me. They're actually made by wizards. Out of the holder. That's much better. As I appear, I say, Really? Really? Your name is Oculotapus? Ted Queen. Ted Queen.

I'm gonna worship me Hello there, Worship me What is going on I've seen a mess I already killed it Yeah You see a druid Sticking out of him.

Casting a spell out of the book That you assume might have been summoned through And the blood And beans seeping Into the book You can feel in your essence as it is feeling in your tongue. I hate that sentence. Like it's nourishing you. Okay. And in front of him, you can see a displacer beast appearing wearing six iron boots. Six iron boots, one on each foot. Appearing to protect the druid for some reason. And behind you, there is a fairy dragon. Off to your right, a bear standing on end.

And a fairy along with Thorn. You see in the battle a dizzy wolf, a bat hanging from a tree, a dog that is barking at Thorn with three legs. Yeah, I'm also running with three legs. Well, you probably haven't noticed anything else yet. I do not. Makes sense. Good bird. What is going on here? You're darn lucky I already used my reaction. I will dodge. Okay, you take the die back. The discrepancy is just looking at you as like sheer horror.

What? What's going on? You're going to conjure four more black bears? That's the M's choice. Yeah, it's usually the M's choice on what you conjure. Oh, to the point where he That's cute Tiger Beast The DM sure as hell would give Tiger, Why don't you do two But one child, baby Because then that would be a brown man And I'm a black man That is racist You only want to summon parents that look like you Yeah No.

I support you You can do it, honey She has a clear definition of what's a marriage, I'm not going to have a situation where we have 16 wolves on the board, because that's where that place is. So I'm going to keep this in control. I was playing with two, but the black bear got half of them. So I have two brown bears. They're much bigger than you. I can find them up to 15 meters away. Where'd you find them? Before I got Poppy. Gee, you got backup.

They returned to the game. I can't even. Return? I'm stuck in this. I don't know. I don't know. What did I just say? I honestly don't know. I just know that conjure animals is the bane of every DM. I just wanted to make some... Because they don't know if DMs don't know it's a DM's choice. Literally make some friends. You summon face spirits that take the form of beasts and appear in unoccupied space to each other. I know you're trying to play. Each beast is also considered fey and disappears

when it drops to zero hit points or when the spell ends. Some of the creatures are friendly to you and your companions. Roll initiative so that some of the creatures have the brute which has its own turn. They'll just be on your side. They obey anyone who speaks to them. No action required by you. If you don't issue any commands, they defend themselves from hostile creatures or otherwise take your actions. The end has been free, Captain.

I have been free. All right. I'm going to go on yours. AC-11. What are those? Brown bears. Brown bears? You told me brown bears, so I made brown bears. Brown bears. I appreciate it. Thank you for making me. AC-11 in the 10.34. And we're tolerable. Listen, if I have their cast, then. You can call them, right? I can call them like you If I don't get them anything You're done. I went You're done? Okay Do you want them to go or do you want them to go?

Look, I haven't waited They just came by doing the process Tyron, I'm not learning Chitin Am I a wise creature? I know I'm getting there Why? I can't hear you. I can't really. It's not about speaking. I want to ask what's talking. I've got to hear you. So, I know I don't see the new guys on the field. Do I see anyone else like where Chase is marking or anything? Yeah, you see that guy who had gone out of the tree a little bit. All right.

I'm going to have fireballs at him. Okay. Just open them up for you. 16 to hit. That hits? Yeah. Okay. Fifteen fire damage. Now the rest of the two. Okay. Is that everything? Okay. Oh, wait. Give me just a second. So from you, where are you at? Here? To the creature that you just hit, who's probably like 40, 50 feet away, there is a dancing light. So. You just lit yourself up like a runway with dancing light. Wow. It is now Barry's turn. I like the better when you shot money. Alright.

When you shot money. How's the guy looking? He looks okay. He came out with no... Actually, the money came out of her feet. Oh, no. He just says, and it's recorded. Yeah, I know. I said stupider. Alright, so the guy behind me, is that looking great? Looking fine. Oh, the guy behind you? The guy in the jewelry got shot. Is there another... So, the bad guy is as far as I'm aware of those three. Hmm. And am I of the opinion that the two fireballs and two arrows came from those

three people? Like did they all come from that direction? They came from that direction. Can I actually look at this monstrosity that's falling behind me? Who are you here to kill?

I think he saw me. I'm not sure. You want to kill him? I don't know what's going on. You probably do not have to kill him for the next like five minutes. No, I'm not going to do anything. That's good enough for Barry. Alright. such what's going on there what that's good enough what that is so many uh you barely have nothing to say there's gonna go for how far away is one of the other injured ones from there yeah.

How did the west go to 60 where's that there it's like what they ignored yeah i i that's strange yeah there's the one, Yeah, I feel it's Mike. And he uses it on Wednesday. He uses it on Wednesday, don't you? Yes, it's on Wednesday. Listen, he needs to get a bigger one because he's going to be like, hold on a minute, I'm going to put radius. I'm just counting. Is this 20 feet? That is 20 feet radius. That's 40 feet for us. So you are just under like 40 foot across.

You're just under 80 feet from them. Just under. Love that for me. Then I get there at 80. Pretty much. Cool. I'm going to go for one of the other ones. I'm going to keep quiet and use Step of the Wind and get there. And I'm going to freaking run him over with my suit. Okay. He just has to make a big move. No, he doesn't do it. The DC 14. So I'm going to run him over with 3 defense plus 4 damage and he goes prone so that's going to be 1623 bludgeoning? No, yeah, 23 bludgeoning. Okay.

And he's prone. Is he dead? No. I'm going to extra attack and hit him with a tentacle. No, it's an arm attack, right? My extra attack is just an arm attack. I'm going to extra attack him. I'm going to get my head out of that. Face. Face. I think of the cartoons where their legs start going like this. Okay. Champion. Your mortal enemy. Just show you. We're bros. We're frenemies. The most complicated word Barry knows. Your mortal frenemy.

Oh, no. They're afraid of you. Let me kill them last. I am just going to, uh... Let's try this new shock and finish grass. I'm just going to bite back down on my giant grass. 22. That is 2d8's Also, you're here right there. I figure it's the terrifying eye mask that tries to do anything. 7 points of lightning and it gets no reaction. Okay, okay, Chabinraksha. I can't not say Rakshasa.

So this is one of your feet of movement by common parents. You can go 40 feet, which I believe means you can get to either of those two. So, you can use your movement to run up to one of them, and then bite them. It works. Or you could kill the creepies so you never see them behind you. You'd be dry. You don't know how each thing is behind you. So, we will... The middle one's already in. No, no, no, no, no. That. Okay. Bite them. Bite them? Yep. And you actually have to bite things. Twice?

Twice. But bite them once, because if you hit, yes, there's strength shatter. And then you have a better chance of biting. Plus five. How did he fight? My captain would be like, well he broke the captain. And now you roll your 2d6. That's right. And your guy has to make a Dsuka please strength check. I said his guy would eat sheep and he was like that's fine. Never. No. He's prone. And how much damage? Now you can use your extra attack to attack him again because he's prone. He's like 2d6.

You can roll one up. So you just do that one and the big one, the one with the big pawns. Take the higher number. That's a knight. That's a crit. Knight can't be crits. So now you roll all four of those d6s. That was a crit on Critical Mist. Yeah, but he's gross. All four of those, had that up and then I had three through it. All of that here. I look left and right. Why does everyone look like I'm a drone? I saw it come up for you. I'm so glad there's more muscle on the party now.

It is now their turn. And this one's going to stand up. Giving half of his moves. He's going to stand up. Mocking half of his movements. He likes anybody. Better. And they're all going to attack the one standing in front of them. Disadvantage on the one against me. So, 90. I'm just like reduced so actually fire grains are the all time important to hit me. Yeah, it's like I'm purring. Because I'm so happy that I'm committing murder again. Sort of how a dryer purrs.

Yes. It's the kind of purring that rattles your home. Okay, so you don't actually have any, that's an example. You've just got your replace. You can keep track of it if you use your 7th and your action surge, but you don't need to use it as it is yet. Same for me. You've been good without that action surge. The action surge just lets you essentially go. Yeah. It just lets you bite him for a third time. You can both do it. Okay, I can break turn and force him.

So, the one in front of you, Larry. Yes. You see... Well, my AC went up to 14. Okay. You've seen two energy blasts come out of his hand. The first one misses. But the rotating isn't, right? Uh-oh. Yeah, probably. What are you trying to achieve? What's, um... Three is the proficiency. Right now, yeah. Ten? Is ten it? No. Okay. Well, he just straight up misses you. I start bluffing, which is a terrifying fight. Because I'm using my tentacles and he's bouncing with me.

The one next to you, it's like you ring the tiny bell. Make a witness to any drone. That's not what I expected. Frank, don't let the party down. I want to use Tides of Chaos for revenge on that. Come on, champion. All right. 11. 11? It unfortunately hits you. You hear a loud ringing in your head, but you haven't taken damage yet, have you? and you take one damage one necrotic damage did I just get totally dead on you? Did you just tell me the damage? the minimum damage.

I'm gonna f***ing fireball this guy that's a freaking fart but when you use Tide of Chaos gate opens to randomly chosen outer plane 50% chance for extra blader creature to appear oh my god Okay. What? He's a wild magic sorcerer. Is it a TBK? It does not appear. Oh. Nothing appears. But there is a portal. So random things happen when he does magic?

Right here. We gave both the magic. Both of them. If I didn't do magic, something totally random happens, which is why he's blue. It's why he's got a stink. Like the main fan stinks from the whole time. Now apparently a portal opened to another dimension. What does this other dimension look like? It's like it's a portal. You can't... Oh, it's not a... No, it's not a portal. Like a shivering window in who not here. Got it. Sorry. Okay, and the last one going to attack you. My AC is 50.

34. Oh, it's not a lot. 5. I'll do that. 19. 19? Yeah, but it's a benefit world at 19. And it's going to hit you for 6 damage. Attack again. And it's going to attack with 5 damage. So 11 damage total. And this creature Yeah You know what? Very committed to this course of action Will blast the bat And one of the bears No, Not funny, right? No The bat misses This is the bear method. There's no way that it could have brown bear. You didn't even name them. Okay. It is now Oculus Tentacles.

It's not the worst thing. Oh, God. Look at all you're doing. Does Milky React to this at all? You see the lips continue to move. That's fine. I will move forward a little bit. How long do you want to move on? We'll say 15 minutes. And I'll take a bow. Okay. Uh, hi. Can you move again? Can you do what? Is there a... That's not Dan's voice. Oh, you're supposed to get that one. Oh, you're supposed to... Yeah. Which one? Yeah. Right. Now if I... Um... Yeah. Talking to reaction?

So, I'm going to let you do what you need to order. You go where? Where? That one's there. It's... Edwin's work. Edwin's work? It's a little older section, but yeah. The one by the diary. Page 30. Bite is 14. That is a... Well, it's... That's a 4. Let's see. Do you have a preferred gender? No. I don't have a gender. You don't have a gender at all? No, I don't have a gender. I got a 20. Honestly, Barry's just glad he's not the weirdest thing with Larry anymore. Thank you. Any damage?

I mean, I don't know. How does an approximation stand in line with that? Is he okay? Heal him? No. Like, he's pretty damn healthy. You know, he could call all of you up if he wanted. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm going to run. I just have a little portal. I'm going to speed towards that creature that just appeared. You're going to do what? Run 30, 40, 50. Your friend? No. Yeah? No, no. The one that shot the bat. God. You've been down quite a little in Barry's brain. Oh, dear.

I don't want that. I have Instagram. I have Instagram. I'm going. Okay. Why do you sound like a drag queen? Kira?

Okay. There's a terrifying eye monster. If you didn't Google what a spectator looks like in 5B, you might want to because that's what appeared. Terrifying eye monster. And, you know. Yeah, right. I did not know that it would open again on the case. He is, but he hasn't actually done anything. He seems very perturbed. I'm a pretty fucking bully. You've been... I don't know if I can bully you anymore. There's a guy behind you. I don't know if you can see him.

He's the one that Selena just ran at, but he tried to shoot you with a bolt of energy and missed, so... Well, I probably see him, and I think I'm going to return fire later if the other guy has not done anything yet. No, the creepy eyeball just seems really creeped out. Yeah, so I'm going to fire him. Thirteen misses. But what does happen? No. The target becomes dizzy. Oh. Minus four AC. And cannot cast spells for 2D4 rounds. Oh, frick.

That's the best wild magic we've ever had. For seven rounds. Celebratory swig of beer. That might be better than 3D4. That's probably better than hitting it with a... Spell you were going to make. Hey, who's Kozark? Why would we need everybody's magic? Because I got magic, girl. We got best stuff. I need having to keep track of stuff. Thanks, sir. I know, but like... Not just... Oh, okay. But it used to be... Very bizarre. Yeah. Oh, it's... Sure, sure. It's deep sick time.

This one can't cast spell. Anyone remind me of that? if I try to get through them. Or how many rounds? This guy in front of me is no longer pro, right? No longer pro. I needed a running start with this, right? I can't tell them I'm already there. How much more running start did I need? That's enough. I think it's your full movement fee, which is why it was perfect that you went 80, even though I probably would have given it to you after 40.

Oh, because technically 80 is my full movement fee. Yeah, all right. You know what? We did it. We're here. We outed. I'm going to cancel this. Sorry. I swear that's a quote we need in these podcasts. Sure. Of course it is. Now it is. Twice, and I have an extra attack. And, gee! A dirty 21 and a dirty 25. I did all 30. It's fine. So, hold on. Knock him out the box. Oh, yeah. I guess I should do it one at a time. Yeah. Okay. You're going to

want to do this one at a time. Because the I didn't rise. Is that close to death? He takes a reaction. Okay. And so, go ahead and hit. That's going to be 26. That's going to be 5 bludgeoning and 1 piercing. 5 bludgeoning and what? 1 piercing. Let's see. Okay. And make a dex saving drop. Boom! That's not bad at all. That's a 14. I win 5. I gotta recalculate. Okay. You need to make this easy. No. Yeah. You just don't get it. But for save, I win ties, right? That's what holds. Yeah. 13.

13. So you passed it, but you take half damage. Actually, what is it, first of all? Is that like an area of affecting? Or is that like a... Because if I have the avoidance, if I'm subject to or affected a lot of damage. And affected a lot of damage. So you take only half damage. Okay. Then that would do it. Is he still alive? Yeah. Can I use the grabber roll? The other one definitely hits. I'm going to do the can. I can only do that once, right? Well, it's a spell, right? A reaction spell.

Yeah, it uses a spell slot, but it's a reaction. I gotcha. If you can do it more than once, you have more than one spell left. No, if you have more than one. On his next turn, he can do it. If he gets one, it's going to be seven bludgeoning and three piercing. How does he look? He don't look good. Does he look like I should hit him? He looks like I should hit him again.

He looks like, like... I have so many ki points now, I'm gonna blow them all! I mean, the Flurry of Blows would hit me again. Did you already use a ki point? No. Okay. Because usually they're, like, bonus actions, right? No. You can burn a ki point all you want, as long as... You can't have Flurry of Blows three times in a row. No, no, no. That's a bunch of bonus actions. The Flurry of Blows is the bonus. That's your attack. Right. Like, you could add a Stunner. Like, you could add a Stunner.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, I understand that. I'm just saying, like, you can't Flurry of Blood twice in a row. That's a lot of ways. I believe that, yeah. That's a 19 to hit. No, I read it wrong. Now, I have two attacks. Can I move somewhere else and use the other Flurry of Bloods, or do they both have three of them? You have movement, so you can do it. I'm going to run over to the other guy and backhand him. I bet you're going to be doing backhand pranks.

Panking, yeah. Who's not that better? You ain't afraid of that bear? Wait, is that your form of it? 40 feet? Can I use the boots on my second floor to blow? Or does that have to be a pun? I don't think that's 40 feet. Let's find out. I think it's only 30. Now it's 40 feet. I'm going to run him over. He has to make a DC 14 next. Textated, bro? Yeah. 13. Hey! I'm running him over and he's prone now. Damn it.

You're ruining my plan. Roblox at 70 saving drop. You might do damage first. You do that first. It's going to happen at the same time, so do the next first. Next save is going to be an 18. Okay, that's it. And you take nothing because you're a... You're a... You're a... Is that your boost space cat? I'm a boost space cat Who just did 21 bludgeoning I just did 25 bludgeoning Don't take this from me Is he that.

What do you what do you want to do remember there's a portal right here to an extra dimensional plane i just knock him over and then i look at champion and i'm like you can send a minute if you want, thanks for the silver medal champion it's your time he's already dead I'll hide up in the end of the portal. Yeah, he's dead. It intersects with the ground, so it's like, you can walk and do it. It's the DM's fault for letting me wear three pair of iron boots.

I'm going on it. I'm going to be alive and from the cooler. I'm going to mow the earth the RV is lying on, and move the whole goddamn thing into the portal. His body disappears. I'm going to have to run. I would have been if he was screaming in fear. I'd take my tentacles and go to the whole cart. Which is creepier, because all six of them are fiendish selves. All six of them get out of the gun and all the spikes are pointing at him. It's like a movie team. Yeah, just like that movie.

Oh. Alright. I'm going to... Wait. I'm going to die. I'm going to move the board. It doesn't reach us. Don't say that. He just said my lord again. Oh, wait. Hold on. Well, can I at least come up with a fair answer? Yes. Yep. You can do Pack Packers. Yes, you can. But, Frank, because of what you did. Oh, Jesus. Hold on. You're really trying to remember the wild magic table. All magic items within 60 feet of the caster glow for. 12 days. 12 days? 12 days. All magic items within 60 feet.

I think I might have a spell option for almost a quarter. From where he was. It's from where he was. It's nicely healing. Do any magic items Do the brown bear I mean they're not items So actually just shy of Becca so it'd be like Here, You Her Her, Yeah they're just happy foods You don't have magic items You're a Champion if you have any magic items, Oh that's right Keep the prosthetic leg I gave you Becca's got the fan,

and you've got the ring, but you're both out of it. And I have a ring. Yeah. So, kind of like, I've got a... Aksha, what do you do? That's right. So, I can go after the jugular. I'll buy each one. That's TD20s. Then you pick the higher one. Plus... No. But you can actually attack and find it. That's right. I really want to use an action third and do it twice more. Seven. No, take that. Oh, 13. 18. 18 hits. Roll a dexterity saving throw. So roll a d20 and add...

That is good. Five. You take seven fire damage. Oh, that's not bad. But you will get to roll damage on him now. Yeah. And now you do your two d6. Dynamic. Okay, it does not let you put him to attack Chef.

It is now their turn, and he is going to attack you once and the bear once. I reminded you of him when I went to my camp. Who did I point at first? You. So, he He hits, well, he probably hits with a 24. I just think her armor class is at level 5. I'm so bull. Oh, my God. Okay, so he attacks with 24 and hits you for 9 damage. All right, so you can do a bonus attack on your next turn. You can do that second next turn. And it's a dirty 20 on you. I'm sorry, you said 9 more damage? 9 damage.

You're lucky this is the turn. More than half your health. 11 damage on the bear. And that one's turn. The other one... Don't kill Kaylana for a session of D&D. Honestly, me neither. Yeah, right? Why are you targeting her? She's new. That's the nicest thing you can do. I think that bush should have gone for the bed. The bush should have gone for the bed. There's barely done more. Honestly, you crossed the line, Michael. Yeah. I think you need to apologize. You know what?

What did you say? I forget. Yeah. Fire buddy. No, you just use his fire buddy to start things.

He also starts things. So the fire side? Yeah. Now, this is technically an Azabelle, even though it's... I love when you prep it things like that. This one uses an ability to cast darkness. Freckles? Becca, Freckles just sucks at using his strength and knocked it off the table and got that involved. Well, I mean, it's actually there a mix between like a warlock and a way the shadow looks. Right. It's not a spell. It's a skill.

It's like how a T-plane can do algebra. You can't see that. Is that a T-plane? Like a mini T-plane. Is it a T-plane? Uh, no. It's more of a goblin. Okay.

So that magical darkness thing you can't do it unless your friends have a kid and he's fine never again did y'all just know the name unrelated to he asked about him, without realizing that I was a plus one essentially you get over there and try to hit that guy you have disadvantage, you don't see like anything shot at fired at you have disadvantage because it's in darkness so you can't see him be out randomly, so that's it that's super for Oculus Tentacles. I have no idea. Please, please.

Everyone, bye. What? Dodger. Dodger. Honey. Yes, move something, you green potato. Not there. Yep. Where? Keep your eyes wide. Where's Henry? Yeah, pretty much. He's all flushed from 40 feet. I need to look at him. They're both going to attack? I forgot that one was still alive. Forward because even though I just can't act with me. 30, 40, 80, 40. Those both hit. These dudes have a bad day. A wolf and two bears are f***ing nothing.

But it's not as bad as the other two friends that got burned over by a cat and boot. Where's the queue in the line? Bustin'. Bustin' boot. 18. Dammit. It's gone. Like, easy. It's 10, King. Clean it off. That brown bear is gonna go 40 feet that way. Hmm. What the frick? What kind of 40 feet was that? It's hard to count them as a big creature. There's too four of them because it's kind of gross. Dang it. So he is the wolf. And he's just going to charge straight in and try to fight them.

Oh, honey! You're so good, honey! It's us versus him, really.

He's everyone's friend. So, please take it out. Thank you. Anyway, it's a nice church. Okay. And I'm also very neat. Do you need a church? You read that I think nothing in this dark house will let them hear it. Oh, it's a trick. So, from the darkness you hear, that's not true. I'm not supposed to be able to think through it. I could be mad too. There's nothing in here. Maybe you just missed. Oh, no. The party lost one member, but they gained two more. That's pretty efficient.

Also, has the party fended off the attack? Is the bear the heroine? I guess we'll find out next time on Chaos Critters. Music.