006 I Was In Love Once With A Shrub-Remastered

Music.

Welcome to Chaos Critters, a CritHippo podcast. We're currently working on two D&D podcasts with goals to expand into other genres. You can connect with us through multiple means, crithippo.com, C-R-I-T-H-I-P-P-O.com, or through our email, nat20hippo at gmail.com. If you go to our website or search for us through Crithippo or nat20hippo on any of the main social media websites, you'll be able to connect with us.

We're new to the whole podcasting thing and just terrible about getting the word out about ourselves. If you enjoy our podcast, do us a favor and share it with someone you know. This certainly isn't part of any get-rich-scheme. I've spent more than a year editing this podcast, putting it together. Honestly, I just want to share it with everybody. This is personally my first full-length campaign DMing, and if you like it, great.

There are also special guests, friends that we had come in who are also learning the game, so some of those episodes would actually be a good experience if you don't know much about the game.

But now let's get to why you actually came here. Episode 6, I Was In Love Once With A Shrub. The Chaos Critters have engaged the Evil Fae at their old enclosure, once known as either the Zoo or the Circus. Some even referred to it as the Farm. Why are these Evil Fae here? Why is our party? What is even happening again? I'm married. I'm sorry. I'm married. I'm married to the best. I'm going to go up to one of the boydos. Any boydo. So, uh, yeah.

And, uh, I'm gonna, uh, yeah. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna go. Oh. I'm trying to get my points in. That's going to be 18. And then I'm going to do... Eight bludgeoning and four piercing. Cool. I'm going to go half-fit with the rest of my movement and backhand the next one. Okay. Are we doing the big one? What are we doing? I'm murdering things. Okay. I'm going to jam. You know what? I'm going to buff the ki point and I'm going to sort of blow this. I'm going to hit it twice.

Just in case they're a little sturdier now. That's going to both hit, I'm assuming, with a 15. Yeah. I still have five, right? When I unarm strike, I still add my 15. Okay, so that's going to be an 18 and a .1. To hit? To hit. So then that's going to be seven and six for one tentacle. So it's going to be 16, 17, 18. And then I'm going to do a free action roar at the big one. Not like an intimidate check or anything, unless I'm allowed to do that. I'm just going to roar at it.

Kind of shrink with my glowing eyes. Okay. It's supposed to be eyes glowing. Let alone that it persists even in death. Just blow it at it, don't I? Yeah. You can never do that. You're going to get better spell in the future, so... You can never do that. Like, you've got to agree. Yeah, set it correctly. All right, here we go. Am I still getting stuff on my face? I'm clearing your face. There's one thing still on your face. Quango Berry!

Got you, man! All right, how far in the face am I? A line. Okay. These three things... Yeah. Oh, this is going to do it. Yeah. Alright. So, we're two of you. Are you about to area of effect with Nonstop? Do you need to put spells in there? Rich! I mean, I take half damage. So, like, go on. Right. No, no, no. Go for it, Lee. Go for it. I take half damage. Well, it depends what you do. Also, what kind of wizard? A magic? Alright. Alright. Alright. Well, we'll just do magic missiles.

You heard the opposite. That's what I said. I go ahead and take her. I split up. Yeah, I remember that. All right. So, metaphorically, it would be four plus, You're damn right it is, because I can remember that from Sheldon. Alright, so that Tallboy, we'll use this very metal heavy looking thing. And for the one close to me, we'll choose this thing with the orange. And then we'll choose mine for the person away from me. There we go. You don't have to tell me all that again.

The Tallboy makes the metal, the person makes the orange. Three damage to this thing. You got anyone? Two damage to this thing. The front one? No, that one. And five inches to this thing. From one guy. Okay. Can I tip it over for myself? Yeah. Actually, can I tell you how it died? Its head explodes and the blood rains down on me like Mortal Kombat. Except it's just like wood chips. It's a tree. I'm like, there's wood chips and I roar as it falls upon me. You get a foot.

In your mouth. Because you're roaring. You're the worst man.

Every time she takes you down, We can call her. Hold on. Here we go. You just killed something with a scuff. Yeah. So you stuck it in here. You can heal. I take all the damage that I gave to him and I absorb it. Not all. Grim Harvest. What is Grim Harvest? It lets me... Alright, hang on. I get two... Wait, is this one ever anything that I've seen? She killed something. She killed something. It's quite, it's the stove level. So now I have 49. You're so stuck.

Absolutely forget about it. It is the bad guy's turn. This bad guy is going to get up and eat this thing. Sure. And this bad guy is going to get up and eat this thing. Wait, was that a, no, it wasn't a bad guy. You get three times the level if you connect them as yourself, but you're sorry it's not. I'm dead at level six! Oh no! No, no, that trademark thing is dead. Oh, okay. Yeah. Could be large evil things, to be honest. And then, like, you're going to charm someone because you killed me?

You raise a dead body from the ground for you. Okay. Hopefully, I get to that level. Okay. That's when I... That's when they start working together. That's when I started being able to phase through walls. No, sorry. Yeah, pretty much. Phase through walls. So, you know. I played for a while. Great murder team going on. I like when it's had an unstoppable streak. But I get to that level. Are you saving anything for questions? I know that Bob has quoted it a couple times.

I thought it was a great suggestion from Honey. It was. No, it was a great suggestion. Unfortunately, Honey and Kira are actually doing a job. Mary, I need you to make a wisdom. Oh, you know, that's not, like, the best thing I could do with my life. I mean, 18. Almost the best I could do. And the the, you hear the gnarled tree kind of, it's almost like a creaking voice. Like, as if an old house could talk. No, I'm not. I wasn't.

I keep going to the bank. And the first swing misses, and the second swing misses. Yeah, and they had this advantage on that, so like, definitely for sure misses. Yeah, you know. Cool. Cool, cool. What was the voice saying? Just like a creepy sound. It basically said, if you're not going to go easy.

I heard the other one said attack. No we're not. I heard the Killgill thing. That's what it is. Killgill's dying. Dead one. Denise, you take five damage. Denise, you have all of the damage. Healing vials in the couch. That's terrible. That's terrible. Susan. What? Bob raised their con. I'll throw away that tent so it doesn't burn. The one that was already burnt. It was already burnt. Do you mean this one? Yeah. I can't even. I can't even. I can't even. No, it's not. It's way over there.

I've got it in the palm. Yeah. Okay. Am I able to land in the front of this to be inside? I think you would have. Would I? Yeah. You would. I... You see. Uh-huh. You see two little tree monsters. Do they look angry? They definitely look angry. I don't think they do. They... They look like they've been... I'm glad I didn't really tell you that that's a... I look like they've been here too long. Oh, like they've been running a shake for a while. They've been like, they're not gonna do it.

Yeah. She's really running a shake for a while. Yeah. You're spot on. Well, freaky. Oh! Let's do it then. Oh, I guess. Yeah. Oh no, what would I even do about that? Move your Hunter's Marker? Does it have to be dead before you move it? Yes, it has to be dead. Thanks, Alia! You can't fight anymore. Well, it can't be if I... So you can take the dodge action, as a thing you can do, and then they... But that would be like instead of attacking or anything. Yeah,

but there's no will. Can I attack too? You can attack. You can attack one? Yep. We need like an area of effect somewhere. What about this melee weapon attack thing? That's your own flaws. That doesn't just... It's just one. You gotta choose one. Well, it's like, yeah. Now, if we had chosen Hordebreaker instead of Colossal Flare, you would have been able to kill both. Yeah. When you shoot... It has to be within five feet. No, within five feet of the

other. Either way, it'll have that thing, right? No, it'll have the thing either way, yes. All right. That's the only way to do it. You could shoot one, or you could shoot the big lady. The big true. Yeah. I guess I wouldn't have a way of knowing if the tree is the leader or if the big tree dies, but I mean the other ones just kind of give up. How important is that, I guess, though? That's a problem. Are you deciding which creature within five feet that you're actually going to trap?

Yeah, they're within five feet. Did you use your bonus action to cast another one of your spells? I think you could have a bonus action for concentration. That's the thing that's there. What? You'd lose 100 marks because they're both caster. The only way I know. Yeah, that's the only way you know. It doesn't look like you'd lose it. Because it only benefits you and you're not supposed to have things. Rangers aren't... I didn't know what that just did. It did a long rafting corner.

Oh, yeah, they're not stopping their life. Rangers aren't as spell-heavy as others, but... That's what... Like, the hunter's mark, yeah. Other than that, not so much. Does the hailstorms have a use for it? Well, I do the hailstorms for the... You basically cast a thing on your arrow, so if you hit something with an arrow, It kind of shatters the one that works. Well, how do I explore to the arrow? First roll to attack, see if you hit that. That hits. Plus 7. Plus 7, no? 44.

44? Yeah, definitely. You didn't hit even more? You don't have Congress Order hit anymore, so you're not going to get to do 6. You got a little back. Plus 4. That was damage on the first one. So, 8. And then they both can make, like, 30-second throws. What's that? It's like a little chocolate sale.

419. 12 is... So they both pass. You're still going to roll it, and they're going to take half. No. So, two damage? I don't know what you thought it meant, but... I mean, one looks really bad. The other, not that bad. So I don't look super bad? Yeah, the one you shot was like... Well, the first one, when you rolled it, these ones, you shot them. All right, so just for my own brain, I'll say the one. I don't want to say the one. I don't want to say the one. I don't want to say the one.

Yeah, I don't know. Honey? I don't know that yet. Honey, go back. I'm sorry. I am very sorry I got up and you lost we have a number 30 yeah. You know what you know what I'm not you're not don't go in that tent don't go in there champion, I'm going to run up on the tiny one you can play this private I was going to shock him. Okay. Anybody else want to do it? What's that, 16? 16 hits. Six points, bro. Okay, he is not looking good.

Let's see. Should I try one more? You would think crazy would be going on. Okay. No, that would be horrible. Kyra. Hero? Hero. I don't know. I don't know. What'd you say? There's still that one tree there in front of me. Okay. What'd you say? There's still a tree there in the middle of the white thing. Yeah. Um, fire hold him. Okay. It broke. Five. Uh, that was 15. 15 hits. I got like four fire. Uh, it died, and, on.

It died, Becca, and, the caster's feet enlarged, reducing movement to half normal, and adding plus four to initiative rolls for 1d3 turn. He flies. Yeah. So, for... I have a plus four to initiative? For two turns, you have a plus four to initiative, and you're walking speed is half. Does that mean you're walking speed is five now? Yeah. We'll figure it out. Earlier, you said you carried sense. Oh, what? Did that work?

My initiative just bumped up by four? Yeah. You're plus four, so you would be, what, four, 19? Yeah, to choose from. Okay. You'd be right behind Honey, right in front of Jandrick. You look at me like that's going to end here. That's Tyra's turn. Mary? I think two times. Okay. Nightly. Chitten. Chitten? Chaos Chitten. Yeah, it's a bug character. Chitten. Weren't we listening to some little quarreling around? I can't keep quiet. Chitten. The string of entomologists in the corner.

So fair so is that what I'm saying yeah it's good I just can't really draw an X in there yet there's no.

We're gonna try to get information out of one of those I'm gonna try to um I guess try to grapple this this big tree and just hold it still so that we can interrogate it Oh, it was your idea. Get in front of me. That's not what you do. Why did we stop at 13? You are holding a tree still. I'm holding a tree still, y'all. But it had arms, right? Like, I pinned the arms down or something. No, you can grab one. You can still punch.

The problem with grabbing. There's a beat that lets you turn into a string. Yeah. Because that's a real punch. Yeah. I just yell at it. Why are you here? You can come. I look over at Bob. I'm like, all right, now what do we do with it? What could a friggin' What was the champion of the night? Oh, we ended this show? We're in an engine. Yeah, we're in the pre-action. Oh, yeah, we're in Sylvan.

Yeah yeah what what are you doing here my friend said what are you doing here, you i mean i heard you feed the virus earlier you clearly know what was a little leak in the brand. Now you're reading what did it say mary i'm married what did it say champion but i guess i've known you for a little bit now don't think this is me saying it to you This is what he said to me. That's kind of putting me off with a dog paw. He said... Got it. Okay. Got it. I thought you were going to breathe out.

I'm going to use my bow as I can punch the tree while I'm holding it. Is it still playing parent tag anyway? Yeah, technically. Punch it. I hope not. I hope this is turning into a tree. Wow, that's a lot of ones. You see it smile. You're going to be quiet, buddy. It is now Bob's turn? Yeah. All right. I think we're killing it now. All right. Maybe if we wait until it's, uh, here it's time. We got that fire stuff. Is there how many more anything left? This one is very old. Oh,

wait. Are you soothing anybody over here? This one's very old. All right. We don't know. Just this one. Is that the one in front of me? Just the big tree? Yeah. How does it look? Fine. All right. Um, can two things grapple one thing? Yeah. It's hard to grapple a tree. Right. I thought they were a lot more mobile than they are. All right. With Magic Missile, can I have all my missiles go to one target? Yeah. Oh, that's the normal thing. Yeah, it's the normal thing?

All right, cool. Magic Missile, that's it. Because it wants to be a dick. I think I got it. I think I got it. That was Magic Bride. Five. I cannot take it. I can't. We got three. This is the Magic Bride in real animation. Four. Eight plus four is twelve. Magic Bride is an excellent person. Yeah, yeah. Did I know that? That was the draft. Well, I jumped. I didn't want to listen. Okay, well, in episode, like, four, you meet. No. Four, that would be it.

Okay. That's what I think. Okay. Bob, sir, is now a bad guy, sir. At this point, it's a fact. It's a draft, but it has disadvantage. Technically, we don't know that. Is it there? So, I'm just trying to figure out if that's what you guys have already told me. And I'll stop at round 15. That was with this event. It was, uh, It also matters if that was the first one or the last one. It was the last. Okay. Because the disadvantage goes away when I roll disadvantage for both.

That's one. So it is going to...

You're going to see its mouth. The word. Mm-hmm. Its arms shimmer a little bit. Mm-hmm. And you're going to see... Of what happened. Of what variety damage did I take. That's the puzzle. No. Magic piercing dance. This is like the deeply hurt version of you solved my puzzle from the adventure zone only it's like the deeply hurt alternate universe where it's just like that's the joke. That's its turn. These two are going to move towards you, Susan. I'm going to plant.

That really is because some things are resistant to non-magical damage. Or magical one or the other. 17. 17, You're on your way. You're in higher levels. So both of them hit you. The first one hits you for. 7 damage. 7 damage. So the first one hits for 7 damage. You remember Ron was talking about... The second one hits for 3 damage. 10 damage. Because a lot of the people were fighting head resistance, and hard not to get in the way. Alright, okay. But... Okay, it is now Susan's turn. What else?

Stephanie, you guys have nice stairs up there. I'm serious. I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna go to the hardware store and sell it. Yeah. Hey, I'm Susan Draper, like what you hang on my windows. I can have a shielding face. And, like, grab a shielding.

Well, she doesn't have, like... No, like, do you have... I was admiring your spiral staircase thank you my gaming nest is up there, my gaming nest I've seen it it's like a loft with a mezzanine that looks out onto the first floor that's amazing, Becca why are we coming to visit you, good luck you were invited Oh, I didn't know that at all. I thought you were too tired to come out, because it was after you were working. That's true. Dude.

Man, I'd like to do more and more. I guess I'll do a music challenge on the one with you. Okay. Maybe it's on you. Are you going to do a vocalized challenge, like I, maybe you're going to do a rocker, or a skittish challenge? I know what I'm thinking. No, what? I'm a bear right now. I'm a bear. Susan doesn't seem to like honey bears. Well, we'll just worry about the TVS. What? I love the bear. I am crude. I like the bear. My bad. I just wanted to kind of specify. Y'all, I'm scrapping inside.

All right. But we don't know if the tree has eyes. Yeah, you're right. We don't know if the tree has eyes. Oh, my God. Can we count on something around? It's up to her. It's not fully rolled. No, it doesn't count. It's, uh... All I thought was... It's working for me because I have 13. You have a bonus because you're really good at archery. She's now in the spot. Okay. Because you're shooting a bow and using your own Godman pod. Not him. Okay. Okay, I'm not going to finish. Four? Yeah.

Four. Three. Damage. God. Do I heal myself? I don't think so. Yeah, actually. Wait. She has ear wounds, so that's an action. Yeah, that gives something to do with... You're guarding my worst concealed thing. Do you have any stuff? Do I get this thing? You have to take time to pick up stuff later. You have to kill the other thing. Are you, like, real... I don't think so. There's, like, 11 hippos. Can I kill this over? Okay. Yeah. I'm like, okay, that's Susan's turn, unless you're going to move,

which would incur an opportunity to attack her, so you get a chance to play it. But, honey. Big guns. Yeah. I'm going to yell at Susan, what are you doing here? And also yell it in peace and calm. This is fun. Honey goes, hey, and then runs forward and won't leave. I mean, trees don't really like bears, because bears take the honey from the hives that are... Well, I can't imagine what you're saying. Yes, that's my mouse on your fart. Don't, doesn't, doesn't have a mouse that

grapples? It grapples? Yes, I'm holding on to your light. Well, my light is all... Wait, is it plus three? Your light? It's just there. I should have left it over there. Sorry. No, it's good. It's good. So, it would be plus five. So, 12. 10? 12? Yeah. No, that's 24. Okay. I thought it was a tree.

That's a sign. By Flash. Honey's turn. What do you have to say now? I say it culminates and fills in. What do you have to say now? What do you have to say now? I don't know what these trees speak. You get one of these. You get one of these. The tree goes to the witch that I was talking about. There were like some leaves in front of it and they pulled back. They just now have cursed her. Light them up, Kira! That guy, he couldn't see. Alright.

Call us up soon. He's like the other way and hasn't been back yet. He's only eight in shape. Eight this time. We can see her. We probably saw her just... Maybe. I mean, I'm facing the wrong direction. Oh wait, would I have seen her again? Deluded? Her? I mean her boat in the air. Like a solvent or a person? What? Like disa- like like like- Not diluted. Deluded. He's deluded. Like delusions of grandeur? Not diluted. Delusions of grandeur.

Not kind of deluded. Delusion? Yeah. When you think you're deluded away from someone. So D-E-L-U? Yeah, that one. That's like, you're confused if you think that that's possibly a deluding term. Oh, I mean, I think we know the definition of the word deluded. I think we're trying to figure out what it means in D&D terms. We'll do forever. I don't know what he's doing. We saw him have a wild magic table he's rolling, apparently.

We'll just switch it to, Streams of butterflies pour from the catcher's mouth. Are you proud of us? I'm not. There's a bad vomiting butterfly over there. So, Screams and Butterfly are popping out of this bat's mouth. Well, yeah. We're going to have to get them around. Yeah, they're good. They're based here on food. So, Becca, are you moving at all? Or are you eating the butt? I'm moving. I'm moving. I'm moving. Okay. Champion? Yeah. We're going to have to get that.

We're going to have to struggle with these geese. Champion? Um. Can we cut a lot of people off? I'm going to use a little magic, change the flavor of it, do the shaking thing, and then I'm going to squeeze. Give it a little love. I can't think of anything that's going to burn my tongue. Oh my god.

Cool. Amazing. I'm going to constitute the saving throw. That failed. Hey! Takes two poison damage, and moves five feet. I'm holding onto it. Okay, I can't flip it. It takes two poison damage. Okay. And then I will, uh... You will cast her falls madly in love with Target until it dispels magic or removes curse. Who do you think it is? It's a tree. Okay, Emerald High Church. Dogs do love you. You are loved and saved. Well, we're about to be real sad, Grant. He kills it.

He's not charmed. Great. All right, let's hear our jumps champion after that. In fact, we got... Victimization.

Fine that's a big one yeah that's a big champion it's not actually a lot weird yeah, it's weird to me that I'm so used to being behind very all right I know but three people who have started on my recommendation have passed me on that show, I don't listen often, valid you've made a good time anyway yeah Becca while you were while you were on the champion film Madeline Love with this Tree that I'm about to destroy, oh Oh, this is going to be a great hit bar.

Yep. And history. You going to tentacle it? In? I'm going to blow. Nope. I'm going to... That's the point for candy. I'm going to query below that. That can't be close. I'm going to, like, stop grappling, because apparently this doesn't freaking matter. Okay, one of those is going to hit with a 22. That definitely. 22 is seven. Seven damage? Seven damage. Oh, it is not looking into the hole. Where is everybody? Bob. Maybe we just don't have a list. Okay. Um, what's happening?

It's your turn. I know. And three monsters in the book. I'm going to stop and check the thoughts about murder, which isn't new. It is disappointing. Did you un-grapple that thing? Yeah, I did un-grapple it. Okay. So, the kangaroo has a special thing. What do you grapple? If my grapple is successful, I'll retreat to the static. Okay. Roll your grapple. And I'm ready. A strength check? Athletic check? I know exactly what that is. Nice. I will tell you if I roll an A15. You have a plus five.

Just so you can put the magic in. Oh, okay. Well, do I have to stand up? now rage six. Six do it well Denise there's six more than 15 it is now the tree can I just note that I feel terrible it is a tree you didn't just say I was a garbage so the tree will turn into a task there Bear? Crashed it? No! Aren't they backhanded? Oh, you can get one too. Who can you? It misses the bear. Suck my neck? It misses. Where's the advantage? Whoa. Woohoo!

This advantage only made it roll back. Um, three actions, the bear goes. Vary puts up Varymere's back and puts up four legs. This one's got you. Aw, four. Boy, these trees are in a really bad mood. Yeah. So it's like we're killing them mercilessly. How's that tree look? It looks pretty healthy. Little one. Another thing you can do if you don't want to stay in five things, you can take the action of disengage and keep them mute.

And by taking the action of disengage, they don't get an attack on you as you go along. Or you can pick one up and drop it. I don't know. I don't know what that means either. I pick it up, and before I drop it in a grate, I ask if they could tell us. Very polite. Why are we here? The Superman style. So you would have to roll a grapple check. So D20 plus your strength. Or what? D29. Great. D29. D29. Okay, you grapple it. You mean it's 13.

The 3019. I get to go 60 feet up in the air. Not 60, but you can go 30. You can go a half a degree. Yeah, it's a tree. So you grab it and pull it up here. Alright. So there's some weather here. And it just goes... I don't know. Sure. You would like to give me a middle finger? And I drop it. Okay. Exempt falling damage. It's like when the guy with the gun's like, oh, yeah. They want to get him, motherfucker. Ain't no country I've ever been on.

It doesn't look wonderful, and it is writhing in pain on the ground. Okay. And because basically when it's forced movement out of your reign, there's no officer. Did we all see that? You probably heard it. You were saying it. Oh. Oh, that's when we saw it. The best opportunity. Yeah. Isn't that horse moving? Do I land or anything around us? You can land if you want to, but you're out of reach of it right now. And you could probably shoot it in the next round.

Yeah, I'm going to see if it's changed its mind. You can. You definitely can. All right, I'll do that. That's what we've been doing. That's what Frank really wants to do right now, in fact. Well done. Oh, yeah, that's true. We'll get back. Okay. This is the one that we are murdering. Hey, doesn't he stop being humble when he dies, either? No. What do you mean? I think he's like, I'm in love with this place. The pipes. What? Eleven. Eight. Nine.

Not twenty-four. Yeah. Boom. Oh, yeah. Just barely. Yeah, that's when I had a crush. Barely. Wait, what? It dies. Hey, that, I said, is a deep comment and building. Unbeknownst to anyone else, you are incredibly safe. You've lost your first love. I knew that dog thing. That's me while I'm dating. Yeah. I'm just looking. I'll wait. When I first met you. Do you see any questions you've ever had about what I know? It's been a long morning. Oh, is there anything? No, it's been a long time.

It's a long time. Okay. I mean, it is now Tyra's turn, actually. Oh, let's see. It's my turn. It's Tyra's turn. Oh, my goodness. Is it my turn yet? It's bad. The big one just died. But, the big one just died, but... She had a date. Your girl, Susan, just dropped one and it's rising on the ground in pain. You got to move a little bit to see it, but it's live, so that's fine. If it's not, it's a good point. Eleven. Where are we at again? We don't know. Eleven is a miss.

All right. That you will see. Is the butterfly shooting everywhere? Next phrase spoken by I'm not going to say what this does until. I know the butterfly is done but there is something else happening there's something happening when it is ain't exactly clear so that is the next phrase that came out of the cat no something true something has happened, Any character? She said that? Any character? What did you? I don't know. Why would she say that? I don't know anyway. What happened?

I'm sorry, who said what? Mike's pulling. Who said what that made Mike start rolling dice? Target turns ethereal for 2d4 rank. What? The one I dropped? Yeah. Oh, no. It's ethereal. We can't hit it. So for five rounds, it is untouchable unless you could blink into the ethereal. What? Target. Target turns ethereal. So it is ethereal. See this ghostly figure riding on the ground looking kind of confused. Wow. I don't know what that is. Yeah, I know, right?

Oh, shit. We have a goblin. All right. First of all, this is my hangout. I stopped playing this for a good five minutes. Where are we at now? So, Bear's here. Oh, it's Champions. My bad. Yeah. Yeah, because heroes are too good.

I want to render my character to the turtle's head. I just had a new order. You don't test me, though. I am sad. I was in love once. Okay. It was very sad. We're in love. We're the shrubs. So you said. It's that dumb. What kind of reaction? I'm going to bring Bob to bring it. Yes. I'm going to bring it. No, I'm going to bring it. I'm going to go into the tent and look around. Yeah. Okay. Is it a big tent? No. There is a wooden throw at the back of the tent where they came out.

There is a long table in front of the throw. And on the other side, there's piles of crate and barrel. What is a barrel? They are! Do I see anything else in here? No. I'm going to go and get one of the crates. I just had an image. It's been investigated. One of the biggest toys in the world. Can I perceive a crate, Talon? You can investigate. That's going to be a dirty zero. I can't do it. I want to know if I can perceive. No. You walk over to the crate. There you go.

And then it's Bob's turn. I have a freaking idea. There is a bread there all along in the town. Are we still hecking through the issue? Yeah. Is there someone alive? Because of the dude rising up by the ground. So we're going to blame it on that. What? Why? Somebody tell them what it was doing. How many points does it have left? It has how many? How many points does it have left? And I can't. I think I already answered this, but I can't hit it with blindness.

No. It's not another plane. All right, cool. Well. Take a vision of it. Yeah. Is it left or right? All right. So can I just investigate the audio that you're using? Yeah. All right, cool. That's all. Roll the investigate. It's five. Wait, wait, wait. What are you rolling? Investigation? That's a default. Oh, shit. Have you been rolling that the whole game? No, I have not. Okay. That's still a default. Leave me alone. Okay, this is not a spoiler, but there's a number of times I've been rolling,

and then Justin's like, I'm not rolling. I'm not. You notice one of these trails that is listed on the Tonks or car. It is going to wood. I'm on one. I'm done with my... I'm done looking to be an idiot. Go on, Sergeant. You just rolled closing on your investigation check. How sad. Okay. It is now their turn. Who's they? If they're yelling, it's up. Finally. And it runs. There's a whole team. It does. Good. Bring back more fighters.

Yeah. Susan, it's your turn. I mean, camera. You can't roll investigation. It's a gay shit. It's a gay one. Not a gay one. Seven. Seven? I think they're not gay shit. I think they're gay shit. I mean, gay. And? You find a wand. I'm sending a picture of my dirty deer to my boyfriend. Is it like Mickey Mouse's wand? Is it like that gay shit? Oh, wait. I still heard it. I just didn't. You find a stick that is gnarled and twisted and has a frog tied to the end

of its body. What language does the frog speak? Is the frog dead? Yeah, you think he's dead. It's like dried out. There's a little frog on the beach! I mean, can I do anything? Is that it for me? I mean, can I pick it up and... Yeah, you can pick it up. ...expelliarmus that shit first? Are you volumeing it at anything? Yeah, that's the real thing. It won't do anything to it. I mean, it's a magic wand. I don't know what it can do.

Are there other crates in the room? I'll call you back. There are other crates in the room. I'll call you back. Okay. What's the name of the room? If this turns into the crate in theory, I'll call you back. Oh, funny. Think of, like, is there, like, anything you were thinking of once you did that? Well, the box is in the sh**. Was there anything you thought was inside? Then the lock turns to gold. How much do you have? I don't know.

Barry doesn't know. Barry doesn't even know where he is anymore. You don't even know what's happening because I'm in a tent by myself. Okay. I need her. So we're just going to go through the next, what, four rounds? Yeah. Take ten. I'm trying to figure out that there's boxes in here. Yeah, well... Well, I would say Kira's probably, well, she doesn't have a great intelligence for, so while she sees again a serial, the first time around, she tries to devour it. Okay, and that'll miss. Anyone else?

Yes. Huh? Oh, yes, because she's trying to devour it. You are correct, my friends. Great. Let's check what my pocket's got. Your spell effectiveness, the range, duration, area of effect, and damage decreases by 50%. Wow, that's pretty much all. What's in the next round? So you go ahead and cancel the spell. It's effectiveness disappears. It doesn't disappear at any point. Anyway. Yeah. Wait a minute. That thing is still trying to get away, right? Oh, yeah, it's going to run another 30 feet.

Hell no. So, how far is that thing from me? Well, we're here. That's a 5.45. Well, I think it's going to be 5.40. You can't change it for half a minute. So, it's running away. Yeah. It's still here. I don't think so. Thank you. Fine then. I'm going to 40 feet and leap after it. Okay. So, 40 feet. Yep. And it goes, I mean, it'll hold your leap. Mm-hmm. And then I pounce. There you go.

Crossing on other islands. We'll make 15 giant dreams on this island. Sure, and I'll bring them all with you. I forgot there was a third island, to be honest. Like, you need to see them, I figured, so. No. Like a storm came up there. I'll make a little tulip. Let's see. I don't have one. It's not going to be this way. No, it's not going to be this way. I just think it's funny that they go higher than that. You're chasing it. That round it has three more rounds and they're...

Oh yeah, we're going for the one more. Next round, anyone? I'm going to go over that burned out tent and that meat. The what? Tent on fire. What is the meat? Well, not on fire. It's burned. It burns, but it's like you. You might. Okay. You're like, you're in a fridge. What is that guy trying to write? I don't know what. He's like, the thing that goes before the escaping tree. Okay. That's the other spider adventure. 30. So, are you telling me... It's 30? No, the spider adventure.

Yeah. Anyone else? I know it's continuing to change. The game's a full... I mean, the little awareness thing. Does that mean I can figure out what's on the island? You would have to expend a spell slot and then you could tell what is in within six miles. I think it's five miles because it's bigger terrain one mile other way. It's six miles and it's bigger. Or what is worse, berries in a fucking crate? You would. You would be able to say, say, say.

Well, it's six miles. You can't tell how many there are or what they are, but you can tell where they are. do you roll a nature check? Like, yeah, it was like, And sometimes with that 12-15, yeah, it was really dumb. You won't be able to tell exactly what it is. Sometimes, what was I doing? You have to spell your life spell block to do it. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so that's another round, right? Can I do anything else? I can't think of anything else.

Alright, so... I'm just going to move this one over here. Alright, so... Oh yeah, after I... Oh, the leaf! Oh, the leaf! Oh, the leaf! Okay, I'll... Hey, it's already moved, okay? Yeah. So we're only 10 behind. Oh, yeah. She should be hot. Yeah, we wore her shoes. Oh, we was back. You're really sure, right? So, does that turn? It's the island. This island? This is the living forest island. Pretty up. The dead were the man. We killed everyone. Island and the farm. And the farm had two lockers.

Yeah. What? Oh, sure. If there were seven feet, that would have been great. The other ones had, like, scout people. Did you get to talk to Ramon again? Oh, first. You know. I wouldn't pay him no attention. Five feet? We'll make a phase six to keep it darker. I don't know where that ends, but that's in a hut, I'm assuming. Yeah, they're all in huts. So it's got all around them. Are we going to do genocide again? Mm-hmm. Is it genocide of the trees? We're committing forcation. I don't know.

Next one, we'll go again. So, ladies, you held your dumb. Now that you see what's around, how would you like to use it in your... I would like to, but I ain't afraid of you, I ain't afraid of you, I'm not going to raise a fool, I hope you don't play that, whatever phrase I can use, I'm just going to, honestly, I'm just going to leap into the air and say, someone come save me, and then that's it. Leap into the air, someone come save me, in this round, is it no longer ethereal?

Yep, he did it, I'm going to hit it. Okay. Wait. Yeah. What was the thing you were going to use if they were in 30 feet of each other? Or in 30 feet of each other? If you were on a light pumping up, now's the time. At least it might. There was no one from any of those areas of effect. Hold on. So the leaf, that was another round, right? Or no? This is the round. The leaf was the end of the last round. So I have like a, I can do. Yeah, you do it. Oh. Well, then that's quite cool.

Hold on. Let me figure this out. I do all this. Oh, it's bad. Oh my god. They're not all trees. Yeah, that one thing was good. Yeah, I mean... Alright, cool. So... I mean, assuming that he at least can be the same type. Like those ones, aren't you? Alright. I'm trying. No, you're good, Tim. You're good. I'm here, right? Yeah. And I can turn around? Yeah. Alright, cool. So, right here. I'm going to go to... I'm trying to find it. I'm not sure. So basically, I'll say that's it. You're right here.

Now, right here, you can go in front of you and get all five. That's what I want to do. I'm going to clap it. Are you upcasting it? Because you need to type four. You know I don't know what that means. I don't know. Okay. So she's upcasting it. You're using a trickle spell? Yes. In a second. Should set it to bottom the answer could be about 1 to 8, Now, please. Oh, yeah, well. Okay.

Roll it, Jimmy. No, no, no. I'll roll the damage, but I'll roll... What's your, say... Thirteen. Thirteen. Con? Mm-hmm. Con! Help it. Ooh! Monster. Twenty-one. Ten? Yeah. Shit. Yeah, he's just... Yeah, yeah, hit something. And it's so loud. Loud. Like, you know, they're 300 feet away. Okay. and loud sound goes off and this tent flap flies back and the tents on the other side, their flaps fly back and swing back and you see there are still five monsters around you and you have movement left.

Okay, so then I like back all the way up. That is not a tent here? Yes. As much as I possibly can. 40. But I want to put my back Because they may be coming. Oh. They're coming. I said help me! I said you're carrying a gun and it takes three seconds! It's literally a split second and you've murdered five people. Don't you do what? Come to terms with that? Don't ask me. Wait, so those are dead or just been blown off? I'll give it a two. I'll give it a six or seven.

This one gets up to you. Let's do it. And stabs the shit out of him. That's a pouch. That's a pouch. It's a vial. It's a vial. I'm not the big man. I'm not the big man. 2014 and 17. Any of those missed? Hold on. What's your eighth? What's your eighth? 15. Okay, so one misses. The other two hit for... And then he came down. I'm bleeding out. It is now 2 o'clock, sir. And you're in a tent, but behind you, you would hear something run out very

quickly and stab the shit out of your new companion. He says, I've been stabbed. I've been stabbed, so I'm bleeding out. And the guy said, help me. You know what it was? He said, crotch, he has a crotch. The frog stick. The frog stick? What are you doing? Oh, the frog stick? Yeah. You can point at that. Can I turn Jesus' wound? You can turn it to, like, any kind of creature you can think of. You can turn the frog stick into a dragon.

No, you can't turn the frog stick into a dragon. I'm trying to work the form in. No! So I can turn that into a bug. The thing attack either? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, why not? Anybody can watch the Python. That would be a really powerful bug. It's bad. Alright. Unfortunately. That's why. I'm turning it into a bunny tail. Yeah. You cast the spell and you notice that the magic comes out of the wand, but nothing happens. I think that was the longest frickin' initiative. Was. It is a very long time.

I need the bear. You heard. I've been stabbed. I know. Huh? And then I will take my very movement until I can see what's coming. What can I see? You can see a bunch of shit crossing the bridge and you can see what you know to be a court lady. Ha! I'm sorry. I was just out of time. Well, I am going to moonbeam that quickly. You're going to moonbeam it? Moonbeam. Okay. Moonbeam it. Moonbeam. Okay, what is that? What's that? Con. Con. Conch damage. It takes 2d10. Okay.

7d10. Okay. Good. And then the moonbeam is there until I don't know. Right. Is it the star that's trying to take damage or is it the end of the star? I want to make sure, enter the cells area for the first time on a chart or start the Okay, so it's going to be another, Is this a concentration or is it just a state? Concentration. Okay, you done?

It is now champion's turn. We'll skip to Kira. Kira? Okay. Can I be able to center something 10-foot radius on just the bad guys? You could center 10-foot radius on all four of the bad guys coming across the street. That's what I'm going to do. And I'm going to cast Shatter so you can make a con grow. Hold on. Little shatter. I dig shatter. It's one of my faves. You're gonna double check. Anyway. You kind of shatter that, uh, what save? Con save.

The tree. There's three little red cap guys, and there's a tree coming across that bridge, and the tree rolls a nat 20. The red cap... You said con? The red caps roll a 12. You kind of thought it was an Opie? I thought it was an Opie. So they failed. Said 19? Yeah. Looked like that hurt them all pretty bad. And he said the other one took half, which would be 8? 9. 9, yeah. 9 damage. And that one looks very bad. and two of them fall into the water.

They're in the water. Ron and the other two are trying to get to you. Okay. And, wait, and... Target levitates 20 feet for one seed-free pair. So, one pair. They all levitate for 20 feet. I adore all of you. Are they the kind that eat? Yep. Let's go. From where we are Wait, are we going to turn it up real quick? What's that? So we stay relatively in order? Sure. Music. I knew you were planning something Is that all you're saying?

Is that a what? Okay That's Barry Or that's not Barry Now it's Barry Pirate Wayne Barry Barry, cool And then Bob and the world Can I just bust that with five to ten? Yeah, Does that require me to make any rolls or nothing? Nah, give me. Wait, I'm buffed up, so I have to check. I'm going to see this thing right here. Yeah. It can hit you things. I'm going to have to tackle it. Uh, Stephanie? That'll hit. Sweet. Uh, that's going to be Explosive. And I think, yeah. And So, Tim? Finish off the run.

Those are what I'm eating? Yeah. Looking for my fricking back spot? If you wanted to. And when I come over here, you can repeat the thing you did. Wait, wait, wait. Three, two, one. I killed it. She killed it before.

I mean, moving is still up. Oh, yeah, moving. All right, I'm on. Uh, no. I actually want to view, uh... Mike and I. All right. Uh, turn away. Okay. What I'm just... I'm just not... Yeah, I saw that. Thank you. Yeah, they all fail. Hold on. Stop talking to me on the computer. They all fail, Brad. How many? You know. Seven. Are you adding as you go? Nine. Sixteen. You're like five. It's 21. No, no, no. Nine. No, nine is total. How? How many did you do? Three.

Four. You had that set. No. No. First level's two V8, third level's three V8. Yeah. She told me that. Seven. So it's nine total? Yeah. Okay, one of them died. The other ones are at... Can I picture one in the back? No. The one that died was a tree. It's like all the little red caps are still coming for you. That's why it's crazy that you've got 20 blotting blocks short. They just failed those. They could push Tensie back, right? Yeah, right. Yep.

They're still levitating for this turn, so they can't do anything. That's the end of this round. I think they should last longer. I will. I will do that. All right. Okay. They're going to whip you a little bit here. Are you going back? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think we need to, like, confirm it? I don't know, bro. No, hold on. Don't go like this. No, I'm going to keep you in close proximity in case I need any help. People already have the answers. Right. You got a nice and cute F.I.B.

While they were screaming. All right. Let's get out. Bob brought the thunder, and Susan found a weird stick with a frog on it. Oh, and a dog fell in love with a tree. What's going to happen next week on Chaos Critters? Music.