Whaddup, Gophers? Jerod here, coming at you with a little bonus episode before we get back to your regularly scheduled Go Time. We're calling this "The Funny Bits." It's a compilation of times we cracked up making the show for y'all. If you dig it, let me know. If you don't, email Mat Ryer. First up we have episode 161. This was our very first Go Panic game. Everyone teams up on Mat, and - well, here we go.
V Körbes:I was expecting to be able to make fun of Mat, but he wasn't playing, so that didn't work out...
Mat Ryer:It's hard to make fun of me, mate.
V Körbes:No, it's not.
Mark Bates:That's not true at all...
Mat Ryer:Go on, then. Let's do a quick insult.
Kat Zień:It'd be so fun if Mat was playing and we had a question about the book that Mat Ryer wrote, and you got it wrong... That'd be so funny. \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:Mat, next time might I recommend renting some chest hair for under your shirt, if you're gonna open it up that much...
Mat Ryer:Oh, it's not open far, is it? Would you rather like that, like some Puritan?
Mark Bates:Well, far enough to know that you need to rent chest hair next time...
Mat Ryer:\[laughs\] Where do you rent chest hair from?
Mark Bates:I don't know...
Kat Zień:The wig shop?
Mark Bates:...the Burt Reynolds Museum? \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Can you just use a wig? Surely it has to be dedicated. You can't just do that...
Kat Zień:Well, you know how some men just get the patch; you can get a patch of hair for the top and just glue it here.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. If I'm going to a wig shop, I'm gonna wear a wig.
Mark Bates:Why don't you have them do you top to bottom? I mean... \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah. \[unintelligible 00:02:03.22\]
Mark Bates:Just go in there and say "I want the works. Top to bottom, I want hair."
Mat Ryer:Yeah. I'd love that. And then they'd just set to work with the Pritt stick, sticking it all on.
Mark Bates:Exactly. It'll be like that scene in Wizard of Oz, where they're buffin' up the Tin Man, and they're stuffin' the Scarecrow with \[unintelligible 00:02:23.05\] and everything.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. I'd love that, mate. I'd love that. I'd be a sort of character... But not, I have a receding -- but I like to say what I like in hair, I more than make up for in forehead. \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:That is true.
Jerod Santo:Up next we have two clips from our Indecent Language Proposals mini-series. These are episodes 166 and 168, featuring a food gun and a centaur.
Mat Ryer:What's the phrase you're using?
Daniel Martí:As my unpopular opinion, you mean...
Mat Ryer:No, no. The foodgun, you were saying, right?
Kris Brandow:Footgun.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. What's that about? Because I wanna explain that for anyone who's never heard it before.
Kris Brandow:Oh... It's basically like if you have a gun - you know, usually you're trying to shoot other things with it, but instead it's gonna hit you in the foot, and that's bad.
Mat Ryer:Oh, footgun. I thought you were saying food--
Johnny Boursiquot:What did you think we were saying? Foodgun?
Mat Ryer:I thought you were saying foodgun.
Johnny Boursiquot:Like, I'm gonna launch a burger straight at your mouth, or something?
Mat Ryer:I couldn't figure out if it shot food out, or if you used it for shooting food. \[laughter\]
Johnny Boursiquot:Like, you're gonna shoot up some food in the range today? \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Oh, man... Yeah. I mean, if you want a language proposal, I propose that our American cousins pronounce their T's a little more, and then we wouldn't get in this mess... \[laughter\] That's a language proposal for me. I'm gonna actually open that. Can you open PRs for America? \[laughter\]
Jerod Santo:\[04:02\] I think we should address why Mat would prefer to replace me with a horse.
Mat Ryer:Oh, you were listening... \[laughter\] Not replace you with one, mate...
Jerod Santo:Oh... Augment? \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah, like a centaur. More like a centaur, so you can still do your programming, but you've got a horse's back...
Jerod Santo:\[unintelligible 01:09:08.11\]
Johnny Boursiquot:I hope you're not attached to your legs...
Roberto Clapis:Someone is writing in the chat -- actually, Bill is writing in the chat, "Daniel doesn't have any unpopular opinions." Wanna prove them wrong?
Jerod Santo:Dan, if you wanna share, I'll splice it.
Johnny Boursiquot:Yeah, he'll splice it. Do it. Do it.
Jerod Santo:Or we'll put it in after the outro. Either way, it'll get in.
Mat Ryer:Hang on - if we're splicing, can we have the centaur first?
Jerod Santo:No, not for you.
Mat Ryer:Can we have the centaur first? I'd love you as a centaur. \[laughter\] I don't splice anything for you, Mat. I'll slice things out, but I won't splice things in. Go ahead, Daniel.
Jerod Santo:Here's a good one from episode 171 on Go Embed. No animals were harmed in the making of this clip.
Wayne Ashley Berry:I think it was the bacon comment that did that.
Mark Bates:Well, Mat's a vegan, so he's gonna be on board with that one.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, I don't eat bacon. Don't tell everyone.
Carl Johnson:Well, there's the fake bacon. Do you like fake bacon or no?
Mat Ryer:I don't know why we're spending all this science energy trying to make fake meat... So no, I don't -- I mean, no. I don't get it.
Carl Johnson:The times when I've tried vegan diets, that has mostly been my experience, is that all the fake meat is not worth it... But I do think that some of the fake bacon is okay.
Mat Ryer:To be fair, there are now burgers that are very good. Impossible Burgers, and there's another one (I forget), that are, just as I remember eating burgers. And they're actually terrible for you as well, so... Bonus. \[laughter\] They didn't even bother to make them healthy.
Mark Bates:All of the health benefits of a burger with none of the taste.
Mat Ryer:Exactly. It's actually worse for you. It's less healthy than-- it's better for the animal, you could say...
Carl Johnson:Well, but they make up for it by setting an oil refinery on fire every time...
Mat Ryer:Exactly, yeah. That's what it tastes like, actually.
Carl Johnson:It's like a Carbon offset, but in reverse. \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:Mat has to drive 200 miles just to get one, so...
Mat Ryer:Yeah. It's Carbon onset.
Carl Johnson:Oh, it's a Carbon onset, yeah.
Jerod Santo:Episode 173 featured Carlos Becker and GoReleaser. It also featured this touching moment between Johnny Boursiquot and Mat Ryer.
Johnny Boursiquot:My very critical to you package is 50% covered with tests, but I'm very confident in that 50%. Would you put that in your mission-critical project?
Mat Ryer:Yeah, I would, because I trust you, Johnny. \[laughter\] I would die for you, Johnny. I will release anything you tell me to. \[Bryan Adams, "Everything I do" mash-up 00:06:53.25\]
Jerod Santo:Moving on without comment, I am acting like that did not just happen. Here's a question for you... Are frameworks getting an encore? That's actually the title of episode 180 with André Eriksson, which I was fortunate enough to join in a pinch, and needless to say, we had a lot of fun on that one.
Johnny Boursiquot:\[08:04\] Now, here's my take. Jerod, you're not wrong. But.
Jerod Santo:Okay... Is this a big but or a little but?
Johnny Boursiquot:Well, I'll let you know. You can take a look at my but and let me know how big it is.
Jerod Santo:\[laughs\] I'll judge. Okay, go ahead.
Johnny Boursiquot:Okay, you can judge me. \[laughs\] So that whole notion of gophers don't like frameworks, we don't like magical things - yes, there is a lot of truth to that. But - that's where my but \[unintelligible 00:25:40.05\]
Jerod Santo:Let's hear it, let's hear it. You're stalling... \[laughter\]
Natalie Pistunovich:How do you give feedback on open source projects? Do you open an issue and say "I don't like this"? Is this how you do this? \[laughter\]
Jerod Santo:There are plenty of examples of that you can look at... \[laughter\]
Natalie Pistunovich:"It doesn't work on my machine."
André Eriksson:Yeah, that usually goes over well... \[laughter\]
Jerod Santo:"Let me tell you the ten reasons why this is terrible. One." \[laughter\]
Natalie Pistunovich:Well, at least this is detailed, you know?
Jerod Santo:Yeah... \[laughter\]
André Eriksson:Another thing you can do is just open a pull request that deletes the whole project. \[laughter\]
Natalie Pistunovich:That's a serious thing, yeah.
Jerod Santo:That's not unprecedented. It's happened. Maybe not on Encore, but it definitely happened.
Johnny Boursiquot:Awesome.
Johnny Boursiquot:But I think giving folks a choice maybe of a hybrid model where they give the talk and maybe they do live Q&A, or do a pre-recorded talk and then a live Q&A afterwards would be also a nice choice to have.
André Eriksson:Or live talk and pre-recorded Q&A... \[laughter\]
Natalie Pistunovich:We've found it, the perfect formula.
Jerod Santo:There you go. The perfect formula.
Jerod Santo:Episode 184 with Carolyn Van Slyck was all about Porter, but we took a moment during the after-show to swoon on Johnny as well.
Johnny Boursiquot:Now I have on my to-do list to check this out and also see if there are some ways I could help make the project better in some way. I'm looking forward to diving in. Carolyn Van Slyck: Oh my goodness, I'd probably swoon if I saw a PR from you... Just saying. \[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:I would. Can you send me a link? \[laughter\]
Jerod Santo:I would also swoon. Three swoons for the price of one, Johnny.
Johnny Boursiquot:That's a lot of swooning.
Mat Ryer:I'll faint. I'll faint like a proper olden days person.
Johnny Boursiquot:Oh, swooning over some text? Okay... \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Brilliant.
Jerod Santo:Sometimes the funniest bits are merely a result of the impedence mismatch between American English and British English.
Mat Ryer:But now the beta is here, right? It's exciting.
Johnny Boursiquot:And for those who don't speak, you know, Mat - by \[British accent\] beta, he means the beta.
Mat Ryer:Oh, thank you very much.
Johnny Boursiquot:It's just like "Beater." Who's the beater? Why are we beating people up? \[laughs\] \[unintelligible 00:10:42.26\] beating.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, okay. I appreciate it. Thanks for the translation. If you want to correct my English into incorrect English more...
Johnny Boursiquot:Yeah, please call me in.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. It'll be great.
Johnny Boursiquot:\[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah. Apparently though, Shakespeare would have sounded more American if you heard him now... I don't know if you've heard that before. It's like -- it's not as simple as that. He'd be like \[unintelligible 00:11:06.27\] that kind of thing.
Katie Hockman:Is that your American accent? I really like that, it's good.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, it's Brooklyn. Shakespeare from Brooklyn. "Yo, Romeo!"
Jay Conrod:That would have been great...
Mat Ryer:"Yo, Romeo, where are you?!"He didn't know where Romeo was. Fair enough.
Jerod Santo:Mark Bates was back for episode 190. It's called "How to make mistakes in Go." His presence alongside Johnny and Mat was so disruptively funny that we maybe should have named it "How to make mistakes in Go Time."
Mat Ryer:I never thought I'd say this, Mark, but you should be a little bit louder. Move a little closer to the mic, please...
Mark Bates:I should be a little louder... I don't know why you don't think I'm loud.
Mat Ryer:Well, that's just what I'm hearing...
Mark Bates:Well, maybe turn yourself up, did you ever think of that?
Johnny Boursiquot:\[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:\[11:59\] I don't think that solves the problem, I think that makes it worse, but that's fine...
Johnny Boursiquot:Here we go, here we go...
Mark Bates:I've got a common mistake in Go - working with Mat Ryer. \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:And that's from the president--
Mark Bates:I was gonna save that for the unpopular opinions, but I think it's a popular one, so... \[laughter\] So far only David Hernandez seems to be able to stick around and hang in there...
Johnny Boursiquot:Multiple times, too.
Mat Ryer:Don't use his name in vein.
Mark Bates:Multiple times! I don't. I love David. He deserves all that he gets from putting up with you.
Mat Ryer:I love it. I've never had a banter happening and insults concurrently, for both Johnny and Mark at the same time. \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:We try, we try...
Mat Ryer:Speaking of concurrency, here's another one... Teiva, you talk about concurrency like -- we feel like Go is a bit famous for concurrency, it's got some great primitives that makes that so much easier to do than previous languages... Should you always strive to use that to make things concurrent, do you think?
Teiva Harsanyi:That's a nice transition... Thanks for that. \[laughs\]
Mat Ryer:I've been professional.
Mark Bates:I don't think I understand the question.
Mat Ryer:Is concurrency always faster?
Teiva Harsanyi:Yeah.
Mark Bates:That's the question?
Mat Ryer:That's the question.
Mark Bates:No. Next question. \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:This is not a quiz show, Bates...
Mark Bates:Okay, fine... Continue on with your line of questioning. I mean, it was a yes or no question. Is it faster? No, it's not always faster.
Mat Ryer:Is it a common mistake that people make, that people think concurrency is always faster, Teiva?
Mark Bates:Did you just call--
Mat Ryer:Teiva, you have to speak before Bates gets in, otherwise \[unintelligible 00:13:30.14\]
Johnny Boursiquot:I keep seeing the setup, and I'm like "Teiva, jump in! Jump in! Jump in!"
Mark Bates:Why am I even on the show...?! \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:What I was gonna say is I grew up -- my first job I was writing Java, and we didn't have generics. Then I went to Ruby and we didn't have generics.
Mat Ryer:How old are you? No, carry on... \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:I'm old. I'm old. My first job out of college I actually was doing ASP, so I kind of lied; I skipped a whole--
Johnny Boursiquot:Classic ASP?
Mark Bates:Classic ASP.
Johnny Boursiquot:Wow. You go way back.
Mat Ryer:Bates' ASP was classic. Full of banter in the comments...
Mark Bates:It was. It was as classic ASP as it could get.
Mat Ryer:...funny variable names... You had a blast. Absolutely classic.
Johnny Boursiquot:Good times. Good times.
Mark Bates:Now I can't even remember what I was talking about.
Mat Ryer:Generics.
Mark Bates:Oh, generics. Thank you.
Mat Ryer:Who's got a meaty unpopular opinion?
Johnny Boursiquot:I do. I'll fire the first salvo.
Mat Ryer:Okay... \[laughs\]
Johnny Boursiquot:That came out of nowhere. You look surprised.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, I was surprised.
Johnny Boursiquot:Yeah, I don't often have unpopular opinions.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, I know. Because you're nice. That's what we were saying earlier, Mark, privately, in the text.
Mark Bates:That's what we were saying earlier, yes. We were saying what a nice guy Johnny was.
Johnny Boursiquot:\[laughs\] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah....
Mat Ryer:Don't you think Mark Bates looks like he's just got back from being shipwrecked?
Johnny Boursiquot:Oh, mate. Fire!
Mark Bates:\[Captain Sparrow voice\] "I've been stuck on that island for so long... Thinking about generics and stewing away..." I'm like \[unintelligible 00:15:06.13\] Somehow I gain weight being stranded on a dessert island. I'm not quite sure how that happens.
Mat Ryer:No, you look great though, mate, really. \[unintealligible 00:15:11.19\] jealous.
Mark Bates:Oh, thank you. That's your unpopular opinion, I assume.
Mat Ryer:\[unintelligible 00:15:14.29\]
Mark Bates:Then I look good. Because there's definitely an unpopular opinion in my house.
Mat Ryer:You definitely would make a good Guess Who character, from that game Guess Who. Like, way more interesting.
Mark Bates:Fair enough.
Johnny Boursiquot:Can I opine now?
Mat Ryer:Yes, Johnny, I'm sorry.
Mark Bates:Yeah, go for it. Please, help us.
Johnny Boursiquot:Okay. \[laughs\] I have to break this up. Alright... Yeah. And for those who don't know, this is actually what happens in real-life too, hanging out with these guys.
Mat Ryer:Apart from I began to piggyback off Bates by now...
Mark Bates:That's true. And there's usually a lot more food involved.
Johnny Boursiquot:And alcohol, yeah. Sadly. Anyways, so my --
Mark Bates:Still waiting on you, Johnny...
Johnny Boursiquot:I know, I'm trying to get it out and y'all keep making me laugh. \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:\[16:01\] Just keep making those mistakes till you find it, and that's okay.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, absolutely. Well, speaking of mistakes, Teiva's book, "100 Mistakes" is --
Mark Bates:Are you saying that his book is a mistake?!
Johnny Boursiquot:Goodness! We treat our guests better than that.
Mark Bates:Mat, you're doing a terrible job... I think it's a wonderful book, despite what you say...
Johnny Boursiquot:Teiva, don't believe what he says.
Mark Bates:Yeah. Teiva, man, Mat's just -- he's jealous.
Johnny Boursiquot:Yeah. Great book, great work... Your stuff is not a mistake.
Teiva Harsanyi:That was rude.
Mark Bates:He's jealous. His Blueprints book hasn't sold well in years... \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:\[unintelligible 00:16:31.09\] It's absolutely full of mistakes.
Mark Bates:Yeah, that's why it hasn't sold well in years, mate.
Mat Ryer:Well, you can find out for yourself by buying my book, and also getting a -- Bates, let's try this.
Mark Bates:You can go to my torrent site and just download his book for free.
Mat Ryer:\[laughs\]
Johnny Boursiquot:That's how we treat friends. We just put their stuff--
Mark Bates:I'll put the link up on Twitter after this show... \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Good. Thank you for putting it there, so nobody will see it.
Jerod Santo:Did you know our most popular episode of 2021 on Go Time was episode 196, "Building actually maintainable software"? Here's some of the funniest moments from that awesome conversation. And if you wanna know what our other top episodes were, we posted our top five of the year on Twitter. Follow along at @GoTimeFM.
Kris Brandow:I think there's this myth that exists in our industry that people wouldn't like working on \[unintelligible 00:17:25.13\] It'd be like this miserable thing, where like "Oh, well that's the team of people that doesn't get to do the fun stuff of building features and building new products and doing all of that." But I think -- and I have some friends that are like this; they're just like, "No, just give them \[unintelligible 00:17:39.17\] Let them go and just clean up some certain parts of codebases..."
sam boyer:Scratch that itch...
Kris Brandow:Yeah, like the garbage man. Every city -- like, imagine what our cities would be like if there were no garbage people. Not garbage people, but trash collectors. \[laughter\] That's a better -- I mean, it'd be good to have a city that has...
sam boyer:I didn't hear it till you said it...
Johnny Boursiquot:I mean, it would be a wonderful world if we didn't have garbage people... \[laughter\]
Kris Brandow:Imagine a world where we didn't have trash collectors. Our streets would be disgusting, our cities would be awful... But there's no one there that's saying -- and there's some people that are trash collectors, and they love their life. They are so happy with what their job is and how they live their life.
Kris Brandow:What would you add, if you have anything, to make Go more... Not just make Go itself more maintainable, but make the code that we write more maintainable?
Johnny Boursiquot:Generics... Hell no. \[laughter\]
sam boyer:No, I want generics, but just for me. Everybody else can screw themselves. \[laughter\] Because then I know what mine do, and I don't have to deal with any of your garbage... And then we're fine. Right? I'm fine... That's what's important here. Oh, I would add Rust. That's what I would add... \[laughter\] I would really like to have compile-time --
Johnny Boursiquot:Unpopular...
sam boyer:There you go... I would really like to have compile-time guarantees about shared access to global immutable state. Forget this go test race garbage... Come on. Static or nothing, that's my... \[laughter\] Is this a helpful answer? This isn't a helpful answer. I'm sorry.
Kris Brandow:Well, we avoided dependency mentions. It's okay.
sam boyer:We did, we did! \[laughter\] Scooted right by it. Well done.
Kris Brandow:Okay...
Johnny Boursiquot:Nice.
sam boyer:I mean, my semver one really - that one gets unpopular when you start suggesting alternatives. It sounds fine when you're just like "The world's terrible! Don't do that thing!" and everyone agrees. Then you try to suggest an alternative and everybody's like "Go f\*\*\* yourself!" \[laughter\] So it depends on how far you're walking out, I guess. \[laugher\]
Johnny Boursiquot:\[19:59\] I think I'm gonna fall over... We haven't had a bleep on this show in a while, so this is gonna be a good one.
sam boyer:Sorry, sorry. I should have enquired at the beginning.
Kris Brandow:I mean, Peter got his one swear, so I feel like you also can get a couple swears in. It's okay.
sam boyer:Okay, alright.
Kris Brandow:We're a mostly family-friendly show.
sam boyer:Gotcha. Noted. I'll remember for next time.
Jerod Santo:Our 200th episode special was one of my favorites of the year. I've never seen Mat Ryer sweat like he did hosting all these Go Time regulars.
Mat Ryer:We've also got Johnny Boursiquot here though... Hello, Johnny Boursiquot!
Johnny Boursiquot:Hello! Yes, mate, I'm here, knocking about...
Mat Ryer:You certainly are. I appreciate the accent, because I can understand you, at last... \[laughter\]
Angelica Hill:Really? It just breaks my heart...
Mark Bates:That was pretty bad, Johnny...
Johnny Boursiquot:I know, I know...
Angelica Hill:I've heard you do better, Johnny...
Mat Ryer:Oh no, don't troll Johnny. He's one of the nicest --
Johnny Boursiquot:Yeah, I came to have fun.
Mat Ryer:Johnny's the nicest one on here. We can't have a go at him. \[laughter\] And last but not least -- what?! It is least... It's Mark Bates. Hello, Mr. Bates. Welcome back.
Mark Bates:Hello, everyone.
Mat Ryer:Yes...
Mark Bates:I'mma do my \[unintelligible 00:21:11.24\] which I can do really, really well, but every other word is a swear, so I don't think that would be appropriate...
Mat Ryer:Angelica, what would you say is the best HTML tag? So your divs, your spans, your p's... Which one would you go with if you had to pick one, which you definitely do?
Angelica Hill:Probably script, just because when I was first learning software engineering I was obsessed with just shoving JavaScript in... I didn't wanna have separate files; just shove it in.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, that's a good answer, I like that... Although it's wrong. The answer is "a", because without that, it's not--
Angelica Hill:There's no wrong answers, Mat.
Mat Ryer:There are no wrong answers. \[laughter\]
Angelica Hill:How dare you discriminate against my answer?
Mat Ryer:No, you're absolutely right.
Angelica Hill:You get all whiny about people not answering your questions, and I answer it...
Erik St. Martin:And then it's wrong. \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:\[unintelligible 00:21:59.13\]
Angelica Hill:You're not really encouraging people, are you?
Mark Bates:I love when people call Mat out. This is great.
Mat Ryer:Yeah. I've got different feelings in my tummy.
Mark Bates:Yay, Angelica! I wanna be on her team.
Carlisia Campos:Angelica, you're my best friend.
Angelica Hill:Oh my gosh, I love this... \[laughter\]
Mat Ryer:Yeah. If I go red, it's just lighting.
Carlisia Campos:It's your coat.
Johnny Boursiquot:The jacket.
Carlisia Campos:The jacket, yes. It's a reflection.
Mat Ryer:Yeah, it's just a reflection of this. It's not anger.
Carlisia Campos:You came well prepared, Mat. You know your crowd.
Mat Ryer:We're way over time, but wasn't it worth it? Thank you so much for joining us on our special 200th episode. Two hundreDTH... Can anyone say that?
Kris Brandow:Two hundreth?
Erik St. Martin:Two hundreth?
Carlisia Campos:Yes, we can.
Erik St. Martin:I think you leave out the d.
Johnny Boursiquot:Nobody has a problem with that, mate.
Kris Brandow:It's just you.
Mat Ryer:You're not saying the d.
Johnny Boursiquot:It's just you, Mat...
Erik St. Martin:Two hundredth...
Mat Ryer:Two hundreDTH. You've gotta say that d.
Kris Brandow:Two hundreth.
Johnny Boursiquot:Nope. Still wrong, Mat.
Carlisia Campos:Even I can.
Johnny Boursiquot:There's no d there, what is wrong with you?
Mat Ryer:Is it not?
Natalie Pistunovich:Two hundreth?
Mark Bates:You could say it's ten score, if you really wanted to... \[laughter\] It's an alternate way of getting you the same way, the same math...
Mat Ryer:I can say that. I wish I'd thought of that.
Johnny Boursiquot:He's been in graduate school for too long...
Mark Bates:I'm trying to bring score back. You know, two score and five... I don't mind admitting that.
Erik St. Martin:Two score in four episodes ago... \[laughter\]
Johnny Boursiquot:Fortnightly... Yeah, you'll listen to this episode in a fortnightly time period... \[laughter\]
Mark Bates:Isn't it a fun language...?
Mat Ryer:Oh, isn't it? Yeah, I've had lots of fun...
Mark Bates:\[unintelligible 00:23:24.27\] fortnight, that's for sure.
Jerod Santo:Last but not least, we have episode 202, where Kris, Natalie and Ian Lopshire discussed maintaining ourselves, but also IKEA and Thanos... Wild.
Kris Brandow:Yeah, that lamp didn't fit with the decor because it's like a bad lamp. It's because you didn't buy a lamp that fit with the rest of the stuff. You've gotta buy things that fit together.
Natalie Pistunovich:Yup. Yup.
Kris Brandow:Man, my statements are not ending in questions... \[laughs\]
Natalie Pistunovich:\[23:59\] But they're so wholesome and so true that you just find yourself nodding, like "Yes, absolutely."
Kris Brandow:Yeah, I feel like this is like "Kris just talks to the world, with Ian and Natalie bringing up really good points."
Natalie Pistunovich:\[laughs\] Well, if anybody is listening to this and is gonna build the IKEA equivalent of software - hi. We're happy to inspire you.
Kris Brandow:Yes.
Natalie Pistunovich:Please make it reverse-compatible. I have a very old kitchen in this apartment, and it doesn't fit the new door, so... Please make it reverse-compatible more.
Kris Brandow:So my first question is "Do either of you find meetings to be productive?"
Ian Lopshire:I would say maybe one in ten. One in ten meetings is productive.
Natalie Pistunovich:\[laughs\] Can you predict, Ian, if a meeting is gonna be productive or not?
Natalie Pistunovich:Oh, definitely. Is there more than three people in it? Then no, it's not productive. \[laughter\] It's a good rule, I think.
Natalie Pistunovich:Yeah.
Natalie Pistunovich:You know, we missed this episode -- I just realized, we missed the Thanos joke. All things perfectly balanced, as they should be.
Ian Lopshire:Delete half the code.
Natalie Pistunovich:Yeah.
Kris Brandow:\[laughs\] That is the solution to most of the problems. Just delete half of it.
Natalie Pistunovich:I think I saw somewhere an open source project that is called Thanos that does exactly that, it randomly deletes 50% of your code. \[laughter\]
Kris Brandow:I mean, you could probably on a lot of codebases delete half of the tests and that would make up for half of the code in it. Or delete the tests and it'd make up for most of the code in the codebase.
Ian Lopshire:I would say most of our codebases are more test code than real code.
Kris Brandow:Yeah...
Natalie Pistunovich:Something that deletes randomly 50% of your backlog.
Kris Brandow:Oh, that sounds like fun.
Ian Lopshire:I like that one.
Natalie Pistunovich:\[laughs\]
Ian Lopshire:Have you guys seen GitHub's thing where it automatically writes code for you? You can stub out a function and --
Natalie Pistunovich:Codex, yeah.
Ian Lopshire:I bet there could be a Thanos snap version of that, where it looks at everything and then simplifies it down to like half(ish).
Natalie Pistunovich:Interesting.
Kris Brandow:It's just like, "Yeah, we're just gonna get rid of most of this. Goodbye... Wipe it away.. Just delete all of your tests..." It's like, "Yeah... Do you really need them?"
Natalie Pistunovich:Or random documentation lines.
Kris Brandow:Or better yet, a tool that just goes around and randomly changes small things within your codebase, but keeps them compilable... Just like, really big annoyances...
Ian Lopshire:That's mean.
Natalie Pistunovich:The real fuzzing...
Kris Brandow:It reminds me - I saw this TikTok once, and it was like a guy, and he was just like, "If you really wanna get back at someone, do these things", and one of them was "Go to some you don't like's house, as to like a party, and take all of their remotes except one", because then they'll be like "Where are all the remotes? I have this one, so clearly no one took them..." Just small things that inconvenience people's lives, \[unintelligible 00:26:43.15\]
Ian Lopshire:Put dead batteries in all the remotes.
Kris Brandow:Or that. It's like, "Why are none of my remotes working?" Just like little inconveniences in people's lives... Don't do that. That's a way to unbalance other people's lives, and this episode was about balancing people's lives.
Natalie Pistunovich:Exactly. Exactly.
Kris Brandow:Although I guess you could balance your life by unbalancing someone else's life... No, that's not good. Don't do that. Don't do that.
Ian Lopshire:\[laughs\]
Natalie Pistunovich:Balance it to the positive, yes.
Kris Brandow:Positive balance. But if you want to write a bot that people can write on their own codebases, that puts small annoyances into their code...
Ian Lopshire:That's just like community contribution, right? Does that count for Hacktoberfest?
Kris Brandow:Yeah... And that could be a tool, like a pull request... Like, make sure you're reviewing your codebase; there's like slight differences... Like, actual bit rot, right? That could be a good name for it, BitRot. Did you run the BitRot bot?
Natalie Pistunovich:\[laughs\]
Kris Brandow:Man, this episode is wild...