You Snake!

Okay, Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of I Know you guy.

Cereal makes them come please, called so Cereal, They care to Aquaria, some retire.

It's called serial Killers.

Scott and Andy would be like the series that we it's like our spinoff series. It's our Joni Loves Chachi.

You know what that is?

Yes, it's the spinoff Wow of the Happy Days.

There was a lot of spin offs. Can you name one more?

Andy?

Very good?

Thank you, look at you, thank you?

And you know what show? You know what show in history had the most spin offs. I believe. I believe the Jefferson's All in the Family, and the Jefferson's was a spinoff of All the Family. Yeah, all right, you're ready to go.

Yeah.

I don't know if I'm allowed to play this anymore. Oh boy, I don't think it's offensive. What okay? Is it offensive? Right? It's just Chinese music.

Yes, it's just Chinese music.

Do you know? Do you know why I'm playing this because it's an international serial No, Welcome to Serial Killers Chinese New Year.

Yeah, it's the Year of the Dragon. No rat, no cow, no dear, No, that's not a thing where it is.

No, no, not the cock either no, no, and no?

Is it a four legs snake?

Yeah?

Wow, okay, it's the year of the snake. Andrew, I believe. I believe it's on Thursday of this it's a twenty ninth. I believe. Is the Lunar news see? I don't Are you allowed to call it Chinese New Yes?

That is what is called in America.

How can Lunar New Year? They say?

Also though, because it could be either or I don't know if the Chinese celebration.

It's yeah with me so our.

Great pot.

He sent us a giant box of stuff, had a nice little letter, Happy Chinese Lunar New Year. Please find three expertly curated China based cereals obtained from various markets in Phillies bustling Chinatown. This was not an easy feat, as it was explained to me that Western style cereal is not something that traditionally has been part of the Chinese breakfast routine. We've known that. To further confuse matters, a lot of cereals are translated to oatmeal, though the

Instagram following up.

Ye followed, I follow him great, This is exciting if somebody worked really hard on this song, you know.

Just breaking out right.

I like the song bringing up.

Is it a violin and I feel like it's a mandolin.

I think it might have been really loud, and nobody heard anything we were saying.

I shut it off, so nothing you heard in that letter happened.

I don't know. This one is the most interesting to me because there's a there's a girl on there with three thumbs up on a clipboard okay, and there's a picture of a grapefruit, which is really weird for a cereal. I don't know what it says. I don't know nothing. There's nothing on here in English whatsoever except a sticker that they stuck over here that says nutrition facts, and the font is so narrow I can't even read it.

Sure, let me use my eyes. Okay, calories preserving.

But what is the pictures here?

Well, I can't read Chinese?

Is this picture?

It doesn't matter what the pictures are. I see strawberries, I see dates, I see chia seedshle on, let me see if I can get the translate.

I tell you what, why don't I give you the other one? Because I want to start with this one and you can translate the other one.

Translate.

Let's see here do this one? Come on?

So what are we doing?

Translate that one?

Translate this.

I'm gonna open this one first. This is the This is the one that looks like there's a picture of grapefruit, but there's also strawberries and some oats and some other random things on here. And there's something it quotes. I don't know what it says.

Chinese Mandarin Hun Life, Han Life the gold standard, chia seed cereal, fruit berry berry cereal.

I saw Han healthy original nice.

Life, so healthy, good taste, good food.

Okay, I'm opening up the first one. See what this is is grapefruit? How come that one doesn't have the girl on the front with the three thumbs up.

This is literally geos seed cereal fruit berry berry cereal.

Wow, dude, smell it smells like frigging grapefruit. Oh it's nice.

What the hell is in there?

I don't know this. There's massive chunks of things. What the hell is it? Yeah, I don't know what that is. I don't know. Maybe it's a grapefruit. Maybe it's the white part of the grapefruit.

Are they trying to kill me with the strawberry? This is huge.

It could be the white part of the grapefruit. I don't know. Oh, yeah, right, that you don't eat.

Yeah.

Oh, but that's good for your skin, I think, right, cuticles, your nails or something like.

So, this one's strawberry berry berry cereal. This one's grape berry berry cereal. So that's fine.

Well, whatever it is, I'm going back to the farm that Fresh Dairy's fridge and she's famous pulling out this container of two percent reduced fat milk and we're gonna put it onto the whatever this thing is called.

I don't berry berry cereal.

So when I when I put it on the website or when I send it to Newman, what do I call it.

Just literally take a picture of this, copy and paste it.

I'll need you to do that for me. Since I have so much to do, I'm very busy. This is gonna be.

Grapefruit, berry berry cereal.

Fruit one, grapefruit one. I don't know, Okay, every spoon I don't Okay, there's so much going on here. This is like there's berries and oats and this is just one spoonful.

Can you even with all this because I don't know what anything is.

I bet there's some leachi in here. Yeah, and I see some coconut one too.

Oh, I'm gonna pop root.

It's weird essence of grapefruit. But you really can't put grapefruit in cereal because of it's you know, but just the makeup of grapefruit. You can't even put it in you know. It has those things, yeah things, no, the grep fruit segments, but each one of those little things that squish in your mouth.

Oh, I hate that.

Really, this is interesting. There's so much going on here. By the way, the three cereals we're doing here, you're never gonna freaking find them anywhere. We're just doing it for fun. I guess I don't know.

I think I had melon in it, just something. I just all, what are the red things, the purple things, rose petals. Look, that's a flavor explosion. Truly, I don't know that all these things actually work together. Is that all the stuff that's in here? Yes?

Why did you read that off as.

Okay, it has a great fruit yogurt block. That's the bad way that was. I just hasted yogurt. Yeah, freeze, dried strawberries, raisins, purple potato chips, North American cheese seeds, pumpkin seed kernels, Australian oats, black rice, rye, corn chips, coconut and wheat flour.

There are no raisins in here.

Huh Yeah, I I don't see any either. I honestly have to say. It's a lot happening at once. Yeah, but it feels like a yogurt more than it does like a cereal. No, okay, that's your opinion.

Would you have chunky, crunchy yogurt?

Yeah, with granola in it? This tastes like something that you would have in like a granola or like a like a like a yoga dump this into yogurt. I think that it tastes like a yogurt more than it feels like a cereal.

You make no sense. I'm giving it three balls.

I'm gonna give it three balls as well. Okay, it's not terrible. Like I have to say, I give them props for doing a different kind of cereal. This would never ever ever be sold in the United.

But this is not different for them, I know. But it also was sold in the United States. It was from Philly.

Okay, keep it going. Next one. What I'm just correcting you as as you are wont to do.

I don't know. It's the same same one. What is what? What is that? What is that letter?

This said it was the number three? What. I don't know if this is true, but this says it's a giant number three.

Well, she got three thumbs up there.

Look how she does not have three thumbs up?

She does on the clipboard she's holding. She's holding a clipboard and his thumbs up, three thumbs up like like like like that is not what?

Okay, Wow, she is seed green, that's what this says.

Okay, Okay, so this one, this one, this one has the strawberries on it. Let me pour it first. You go ahead and take your little picture there okay, Oh damn, no, hold on, please, Oh goodness, oh goodness, oh good this one is still This one smells like wood shavings. You are not letting me take the picture, like when you used to vomit an elementary school and they would put wood shavings on the visual.

I have a fear already.

Just let me dump it and then you can take your picture. Man. Here, okay, Farmland Fresh Air's two percent reduced fat milk. M Okay, there you go.

This has frozen flat strawberry slices, cranberries, raisins, coconut slices, purple potato chips, chiass, pumpkin seed kernels. Travelers weep, what's with the purple potato ches? Is black rice? Black me?

I don't know what that is?

Cherry rice, corn chips, coconut and jaw ju lan.

The strawberries are definitely the star of the show in this one. This one. Yeah, okay, that's pretty good because I like toy. It reminds me of a special k RedBerry I heard that the strawberries do. Anyway, Look again, there's a lot going on in here. And when I wrenched my mouth tonight before I go to bed, there's still going to be all these black things coming out getting jammed up in your mouth.

So that's a chia seed. Yeah, cool from North America apparently. Really, I don't hate this either, Like it's just pretty fun.

Just one better, three bowls in a spoon.

Yeah, the grapefruit, I don't know how well it works in cereal, And I don't like the yogurt clusters in it. Yeah, this one, I give three bowls in a spoon. I like the sweetness to it. There's just pieces in there that literally are like corn kernels and it's really hard to chew and it hurts.

Well. I prefer this one better.

Yeah, I do as well.

All right, Again, I don't even know why you're rating them, because it's not like you can get them unless you go to Philly to this market.

Or probably any Chinese store that you see.

I've never look. I've been. I've been to Asian markets and they very rarely ever have any cereal other than like honey nut cheerios. They don't have any native Asian cereals.

They have, But it's more like what he was saying, where it's more oatmeal looking, because the concept of cereal is not necessarily is very American.

Well, I think that's what we're going to get in the next one, and I'll show you that when we're back right after this.

Play the music again. Okay, and we're bad.

We're bad, very very special Chinese New Year episode. It's the Year of the Snake. Yeah, and our good friend Matt seffs a bunch of Chinese cereals from the Chinese market in Philadelphia.

Did you know what your year is?

My year we're born. I'm probably the rooster. I don't know when you were you born?

What year?

Nineteen eighty nine?

Okay, come on, what let's let's be real. Seventy five okay, nineteen seventy five, Lunar New Year.

Oh, this is like a pillow. This might be your I think this is fireworks.

You're the Year of the Rabbit.

Oh really, yeah, I think this is fireworks. Andrew, I don't know.

If this is food all back up?

Oh what the hell is going on here? Look at this?

I'm the Year of the goat. Look.

Oh wow, there's a whole lot of pouches. It's xylotol oatmeal cereal. Okay, what xylotol? That's some kind of isn't that gum? I don't know. Yes, that isn't gum, isn't it? Yeah? Isn't.

I wonder if it's gonna be like very packed health of like corn cereal. Look health, this is just it's health wheat.

I don't even know what's going on it. But I'm gonna what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna slice a packet out the back so we can have a picture from the front. You know what I mean. Yeah, I gotta make those picture pictures. It says oatmeal because they put me to take a picture. Yeah, they put the sticker on it here. Why don't you scan the.

QR code because it's all gonna be in Chinese, but it won't go ahead, come on, go scan it. Let me humor you yeah, go go go. Yeah it's in Chinese. Oh okay, Oh shocking.

The name of the brand is happy everyone. I think.

Oh the address doesn't work. It's a dead one.

Well, now you have some kind of virus on your phone? Words?

Can I unscan the front?

Yeah? I yanked went out the back.

This is xylotol oatmeal cereal. That's literally what it's called. And this says everyone is happy but are they all the same. Everyone is happy xylotol oatmeal cereal?

The packaging is so interesting. Smell how plastic it smells?

Please?

It sounds like a full tire. I don't know what.

Oh my god, actually was that? Oh god, that.

Would have been awesome. Yeah, you haven't thrown up since you were seven?

No false, I could tell you when last year on January twenty eighth.

Uh huh, because I remember every day January twenty eighth of last year. Were you drunk?

Yeah? Incredibly.

Oh this is not cereal. This is definitely oatmeal.

So why are we eating it? Like it's not cereal?

I have no choice now, or like it's cereal. These are like little I guess, like little Quaker oat oatmeal packets that you would put a hot waters.

Like coffee, like ready make coffee.

I don't smell that at all.

Yeah, I don't think this is bad. The bag was bad. I like that plastic ease smell was bad. I don't think I don't think this is cereal. But we're still gonna put some farmland fresh airy two percent milk in it. I better be much better if the milk was hosh. I'm gonna star as much as I can. It's gonna turn into a porridge, which is fine. Yeah, I'd rather a porridge.

Pease porridge, hot piece porridge, cold piece pardge in the pot nine days old is a piece porridge? Is that what it's called?

I don't know why you're asking me.

It's a song. It's a nursery rhyme. Okay, I don't know what's happening.

Oh God, I got milk on my pants. Okay, this is gonna be a problem.

Oh okay. You know what dastes like? It tastes like vanilla way for cookie crushed up in milk. Absolutely does the long one. I don't know vanilla wafers, but that long absolutely vanilla way for cookie with the cream inside of it. It's just like that crushed out, like really finally crushed up in milk. I can't right now, guys.

I am shockingly okay with this. I know people are probably watching this right now, like stupid idiot Americans eating oatmeal without hot water.

But there's no instructions.

I actually don't hate this.

Hmm. I'll tell you what. I don't hate it either, but I don't like it because it makes me think I'm doing something wrong, like I'm eating this incorrectly and it's slightly making me nauseous even though the taste is okay. Yeah, does that make sense?

No, No, I got it. It's like I'm doing something wrong right now.

Yeah, because that's not the way this is supposed to be eaten. But the flavors, Okay, I bet it would be really nice hot to be quite honest with you, for that reason. Two bowls and a spoon.

Oh see, that's a little harsh.

Two balls in a spoon.

Almost said nine bowls. I'm gonna give it three balls in a spoon because I do like the vanilla waffer taste, but I do get that hint of weird. Let's see what year before we go. I think it would be fun if we see what our year predicts based off of what year you were born. All right, so you were the year of the rabbit. I was the year of the goat. Okay, so goat prediction and powder in twenty twenty five.

I don't believe any of that stuff.

Okay, that's cool. According to Chinese Horoscope, twenty twenty five is expected to be a year of success, growth, and introspection for people born in the year of the Goat. They're known for being creative, compassionate, and nurturing. They're predicted to experience a balance of external networking and internal reflection.

Sorry, what did I say you were reflection?

No, what was yours?

Rabbit?

Okay, let's see rabbit prediction in twenty twenty five. Oooh, I love this for you.

Okay.

According to the Chinese zodiac, twenty twenty five is expected to be a year of success, a year of success, stability, and growth for rabbits. Rabbits are said to be perceptive, diplomatic, and empathetic, and are predicted to use these traits to their.

Advantage with the tiny little poops.

I don't know, all right, thanks so much for joining. That's on a great episode of serial Killers.

Thank you so much, Matt for all the wonderful yes China, so much fun.

Yeah, that was a fully curated episode from Matt.

And did you see the box he sent? He had the cute little green serial killer stickers he made custom It's in there. I threw it in the come out in Diamond Studio. Check it out anyway. Thank you for listening to Serial Killers. Please follow us on Instagram at serial Killers PC. Our good friends at Farmland Fresh Dairies check them out as well, and our website.

Celebrate Chinese New Year. Hope you were having happy.

Happy snake, Happy snake.

Yeah.

Uh times when you were a kid, did you have those they called them snakes? You would, so it was a little black pellet and you would put it on the curve or the sidewalk or something, and you would light it and run away and it would go. It would just turn it to be a big, big line of ash.

Yep.

Yeah, that was fun, fun, good time before cell phones, you know. Yeah, yeah, that's what we did.

There's no fireworks anymore. Cell phones a ruined that, you me. Now, it's even worse because everyone takes video of the fireworks.

Man, we just went outside and lift things on fire. That was our good times.

I'm pretty sure kids still do that also.

So sorry with the wild fires and everything, I don't mean that.

Let's just end this before this gets worse. We love you guys, Thank you so much for listening. Happy Chinese Lunar New Year Snakes. Yes, you're of the snake. This is going to be great for all of us. Prosper prosperous years ahead.

For you all. Right, Yeah, have a great day. I love you and we'll talk to you soon. Say crunch runch bye.