You’ll Forget The Fiber!

Sami dokim, I guess tan, what's gonna be? Well?

Tell you what's sire Rangel the Night SIMPI kim, It's.

Dead Life, Rigulin, everything from Checks Vanilla to Chrispy's.

Okay, I'm done playing the music.

Wait, okay, so I need to go get cups. I need to go get everything, and I need to find a quiet area.

Oh but it's eleven o'clock. We're supposed to record.

Oh my god, if it takes me a minute, you can wait.

Okay?

Wait? Also, which ones are we doing today?

The ones that we haven't done yet?

That really limit it when you have four different options. Your microphone's awful, yep, because I said I need to get headphones.

What's headphones? Hold? Do you're still talking the same?

Hold on? Hold on one second.

I'm unprepared for everything. I knew we were going to record today, but I don't have anything set up. So I'm just gonna wander around my house now and see what I can find. Hmm, let's see. You got some cups over here. Gotta go back up to the kitchen to get some spoons. I don't have any milk. What am I gonna do? Where's the cereal that we were supposed to do today. I don't know. I blue scot off yesterday, but I'm not even ready today. What's going on?

Well, yep, you're in my kitchen and everybody just starts you ranting to yourself like a lunatic. Yeah, he sent me a waffle House hat. Okay, we don't have any more disposable cups. Oh god, you know what, I don't care. Just pour it in your hand, in my hand, pour milk in my hand. That sounds like a great idea. How do I sound terrible?

You're so loud and I have to adjust the volume so annoying.

Well, you know, I don't know what you want me to do. It's not like I chose for my voice to be loud.

All right, Maybe that's a little better. Better, Yeah, I think so cool? All right? Are we ready to start this thing?

Yes?

Cool? Welcome to Serial Killers. I'm leaving all that in by the way.

Well, people are going to be very bored for a solid two minutes.

It's Friday, May first. Welcome to May. This is episode one oh five. How was your big day yesterday? Andrew?

So exciting?

Did you have a nice birthday?

Yes?

Good, that's good. You're twenty nine now, Yes, you're now the age where every woman is perpetually forever. When people say, oh, how old are you? Twenty nine? Again, they're just twenty nine forever.

So joy, Oh you kid, those jokes what keep on coming?

That's not a joke, that's that's just what it is. You ever listened with people who wish people a happy birthday like twenty nine? Again, you're just it's twenty nine forever. I don't know why twenty nine is the age, but you're it. Congratulations, thank you, thank you. And guess what else? So I compiled a little bit of a list of all all the cereals that came out the year that you were born, in nineteen ninety one.

Oh so it's going to be like a post birthday cereal graveyard.

Well, most of them were long gone. A few of them were still around. But do you remember Adam's Family Cereal?

Yes? I remember the Adams Family.

No, no, no, the cereal.

No, not the cereal. I remember the movie?

Well that was a cereal from Ralston that came out in nineteen ninety one. I'm not going to play the commercial and bore you with it, but there was also your favorite would have been if it was still around a cinnamon mini buns from Kellogg's.

Okay.

That was probably like the precursor to cinnabon cereal. Okay, so you probably really would have enjoyed that.

Yeah, I do like cinnamon.

I have to tell you, I hate when you're home. I hate it so much. I don't even want to do this anymore. It's not fun, is it.

Because you can't yell at me.

No, I can yell at you. I don't care. And also in nineteen ninety one was Double Checks. I don't know what it was, but it was a Czech cereal and it was called double Checks and it was made by Ralston before they sold the brands to General Mills.

Maybe it was like a regular checks piece and then a mini checks piece.

No, I don't think so. I think it was something on one side and then a different one on the other side, like a rice on one side and a corn on the other.

Yeah. No, I think what it was was a big checks in a little check.

Okay, Well, we're gonna investigate and prove me right. And then, remember we talked about Erkolo's. Erklos also came out of nineteen ninety one, what's Ercolo's It was Steve Erkele from Family Matters?

Is you idiot?

Okay? And then another big one was w WF Superstar Cereal. Do you remember that?

No, I was born in nineteen ninety one. I wouldn't remember a Cereal the year I was born.

I was Cogan and Macho Man Randy Savage. Oh yeah, and you don't remember them. They were huge in the nineties.

I know who the wrestlers are. I don't remember the serial.

Okay, Well tell me if you remember this when you were a kid and Dingle, Dingle, Dingle, the ice cream truck would come by. Okay, did they ever have thee did they ever.

Have the single?

Whatever they did? Whatever? Did they ever have the Wrestling Superstars ice cream pops? It was like a cake kind of pop with a picture of wrestler on it, and then there was ice cream because they had that. Well, after that, no one cared about wrestling anymore.

Yes, no, people still care about rust no I.

Know, but but you know, wrestling was huge in the late eighties and early nineties with all those guys before WWF changed to WWE, and you know George the Animal Steel used to eat the turnbuckles. Who anyway, when I'm trying.

To get on.

I was at Schopright, I said, chop Right yesterday and they have the ww EF whatever wrestling Superstar ice cream sandwiches again. They have them Who's on the Who's on them?

Now?

Old school everything. I was so excited. I didn't buy it, though. I took a picture and I'll post it. Okay, However, I just have to give you one more because this one I never even heard of, didn't know it was a cereal. This came out in nineteen ninety one. Listen to this, introducing Wonder Brand Cereals, a wonderful new breakfast cereal for the whole family, for growing up, for the wonder years. Wonders. These are the wad finding the moments. These are.

New Wonder Cereals, Apple cinnamon cornflakes, crunchy gray oat rings, and hunting that crispy rice have a wonderful day.

Okay, that was just weird. I mean the apple cinnamon corn flakes sound delicious.

I thought at first it was wonder Bread Cereal.

It is, It's.

Like, yeah, but I thought it was like white Wonderbread.

No, that'd be boring. As all hell, just little pieces of wonderbread. Hard No, but I mean you grew up with wonderbread, so I guess they're like, huh, we got a brand, let's make cereal. So I didn't even that was a thing ever, So you know, it couldn't have been around very long because I've never even heard of it before, which is weird for me because that's when I was like really into cereals. Back then. I was a kid eating all this crab cereal and I never

Is it one? Oh five?

Stop telling me numbers. You messed everything up by blowing me off two days in a row. This one, no, how about it? Do you have a brown one?

Uh? This one? It's like clusters.

Sure, let's do that one first, because I know that's one.

Of them, and it has almonds in it.

It sure does. Well, look at you. You can spot the almonds.

Yeah, I'm a pro with that.

Good boy.

Oh my god, I hate you When you talk like that, it's the most annoying thing in the world.

I have to tell you something that's very exciting is we keep getting giant boxes. Actually, when I came in this morning, we had a huge box of cereal from our friend Jamie in Virginia. And we're gonna get to those over the next couple of episodes. You're gonna be very excited. Don't try it. I see you in the camera eating.

It, and stop milling it.

So this cereal came from Nicole from New Hampshire. She is a big fan of the show and was going up and down on the island, was like, do you have this one? Do you have this one? Do you have this one? And I was like, no, we don't have that one. So she sent us a box of Cascadian Farm dark chocolate almond granola.

Jackie is here, She says, Hi, Hi Jackie. You know what it smells like? Nature Valley oats and honey granola bars.

Okay, they used to have a cereal too, you know what was it? Nature Valley? Its serious? All right, Okay, here we go. We're gonna pour this into the cup now. In case you all don't know at home, Andrew and I are doing this over FaceTime. This was the way that we found to be the best as far as audio goes, even though it still sounds like crap and I hate every minute of it. Here we go, let's pour the cereal. Here's your sound effect?

What do you? Jackie's just trying all the cereal? This?

I seriously, this is the last episode we're ever doing.

This is the last episode.

You said that, like, you're still using that same Milkugh, what that's the same milk that you've been using for weeks?

I don't know. He sent me so many and then I asked him what they are, and he labeled them so he should know. Oh, I labeled this one this, that's what it is. But instead he just goes, I don't know what it is.

Now. I can barely hear you. I'm so angry that I just want to end it right after we try this. There's too many people talking. I can't edit things out. I hate you so much. Don't you have a bunker downstairs?

A bunker?

Yeah?

No, I don't have a bunker.

Archie bunker? Who's that? I know? Eat this? Can we just eat this? I want to go home, Go ready, uh uh uh huh, Jackie is correct. It tastes just like a Nature Valley chocolate granola bar chopped up in the little pieces, which really doesn't like what's the matter with you?

It tastes like a chocolate covered cherry.

No, there's no cherry here at all, I.

Know, but it tastes like that to me. I don't like that. It's disgusting. I give this two bowls.

If it was discuss you give it much less than two balls, So give me another adjective. It's gross, So two balls and it's gross. I think I think we have to break up. I think this is our breakup right here, right now.

Hey, do you go to Montalk often with your shirt?

Hey? Do you go to Miami often with your sweatshirt?

Joe? But I went to school here so I can wear it.

You go to school?

Yes? I did? Right? I don't.

I don't. I don't want to do this anymore. Okay, look what's going on now? You're working at waffle house?

Well, there is only I could only go down after doing a cereal podcast.

Wait, could I please take a picture?

Yep? As it is. My mom is rearranging dollar Bill's loudly in the corner. Jackie sitting next to me, trying all the cereals. David, her husband's in the corner eating cereal. Moon is probably barking somewhere.

This is spectacular anyway, I'm going to give it three balls in a spoon because I kind of like it.

No, it's nasty and I'm not a fan.

All right, Hey, can you come into the studio for our next episode?

Oh yeah, let me just risk my own there's no life risking.

Just come on in. Just put on a mask of some gloves and getting a bubble and come in.

Yeah. Absolutely.

By the way, you know, it's really cool. Just moments ago, some police officers threw a woman up against Skeary's car parked out front and arrested her. And we watched it out the window and you should have seen. You should have seen, scary. That's my car. That's my car.

Of course, he doesn't actually care about anyone call.

It was fantastic. I don't know what happened. I guess we'll find out, all right. So take the next bag out. Let me see what it looks like this one.

No, can you show me what the box looks like.

They're flakes, they're flakes and clusters. Yeah, that's it. What that is.

Nature's valley or cascadient of five or one?

Nature's Valley doesn't make cereal anymore. You know nothing about cereal?

You know this.

Welcome to serial killers with little clusters in them. You don't even care. I just want to get it over with. This one's been around since two thousand and eight or so.

My cups smell weird.

They smell.

Well. I'm using plastic solo cups. So yeah.

Fiber one also has that one that we ate that's like bird nest, you know, the big long things. And they also have the strawberry one that you didn't really like.

No, I don't like artificial strawberries. You know this.

It's not artificial, They're real. They're just dry.

Well, I don't like dried strawberries. Are you ready?

Yeah? Sure, here we go? One? Two, three?

Hmmmm.

It tastes like molasses? Right? Where is that? What is that flavor?

The tea one that I like that I bought for you.

Just tastes nothing. I'm like macho green tea. Noic If this tastes like tumeric at all, I would have split it right at a screen.

No taste check the ingredients. Turmeric is one of them, my bet.

Oh yeah, okay, let's see whole green wheat. Oh clus, I'm reading corn syrup, whole green rice, salt, natural flavor, barley, malt extract, cinnamon. Maybe that's what you're tasting. Vitamin e, corn brand sugar, whole grain, blah blah blah, brand, corn syrup, salt, honey, blah blah blah. There's no turmeric.

Oh well, look I was right.

There's no turmeric in here.

Yeah there is. There's not, no there is.

It's very good though. I like it. I'm going to give it four bowls by itself.

Like the flakes are really.

Good and it's full of fiber.

Oh, fantastic, Just what I was looking for in my diet.

Taste so good, you'll forget the fiber. What you don't even know what that is?

Do I know anything that you say?

You don't remember fruit and fiber cereal from the eighties and nineties, you know what?

I'll just say, sure, Yeah, it was my favorite.

I love fruit and fiber. Taste so good, you'll forget the fiber.

Okay, buy itself. I like it with milk. I don't like it you gave it, I'm going to give it without milk.

No, we don't do that.

No without four, but with two and a half.

So it's two balls and a spoon. Mm hmm.

Okay, taste way better without it.

I just want to end this. It's not very long, but I'm kind of over this. I don't like the way this works out when we're not together. So I think the next episode is going to be not Andrew. Oh okay, yeah, if you could please tweet us who you would like to replace Andrew at Serial Killer's PC. Here are your options, Nate or Scary, because that's all I got left that's in the building. I need somebody that's in the building. I can't do it like this anymore. It's very frustrating.

You're so curmudgeting. It's so funny. Hey, you're like an adult child.

No, I'm just an adult that is sad and is missing his friend.

And you know I is, you too, But you don't have to be a cranky baby.

But I don't like the quality of these podcasts, and it's so annoying to edit. You have no idea.

I didn't get to try this one, and I really like it.

That's the very one.

Yeah, I like it. Did do that with Danielle? Or did we do this last time?

I did it with Daniell? Let's Cashi go wander.

I'm a big fan of this.

Really sorry that you didn't get to rate it, but you blew me off that day so you didn't get to do it.

You make it seem like I'm purposely avoiding you when I actually have work to be doing.

Okay, well, today you said you were going to start late because you had to go for a run. We'll just get up earlier. You're not doing anything.

I'm already waking up at five forty.

Why why would you do such.

A thing because I have to be up for the show?

No, you don't, Yes, I do. I work. What do you make in Elvis' schedule? You got lunch today? Like? What are you doing?

Well? He does left his grilled cheeses on Wednesdays, so I do have to make sure that he has the groceries.

Ready, So you have to remind him on his calendar that he has to make grilled cheese. All right, that's cool. Thanks for listening one, Thanks for listening to Cereal Killers. This has been spectacular.

Let me tell you something. This was terrible the cereals you gave me this class.

You go wonder wander, wonder wander as it like to walk around.

So I'm wondering why you didn't let me do casa wonder wander. That's it because this is a globe. This is like four balls and a spoon worthy.

Well, you were supposed to do it with me, but you didn't. Just keep being stop eating what are you doing?

But this is delicious.

That's not on your schedule for lunch. Stop eating that.

Well, I'm gonna go run it off anyway. All right, Millennial is a new working out.

Yeah, this has been Serial Killers one oh five. I don't know no one's listening anymore. You can. You could see on our statistics that their numbers are just going down.

That's actually not true, but I mean, if you want to go with that.

Shore, have you found some way to promote this podcast so people know that we're here?

Yeah? On our screener we have over a thousand people just subscribe to us. I have no idea how or why, but a thousand people just subscribe to us. We can't new subscribers like every day.

That's good to know. This is really going to put us over the top. This episode is people are going to be thrilled.

Well, if anything, they're not going to be thrilled by your lack of enthusiasm. I'm here trying to be Chipper Chip.

Hey, everybody, I'm Scotti being I love Cereal. That's Andrew over there, and he's a dick. All right, we gotta go follow us on social media. Serial Killers PC. That's Cereal with a c oh look at your creepy box.

Yeah, this is my creepy box.

Look I have another creepy box all ready to go for you.

This one said this is the last episode.

This one. This one says, Zappo's on it. So when you get it, it's not.

Choose, you're showed tricky.

All right, Like and subscribe. Please leave us reviews because we love reading your reviews. There's actually been a bunch of really good ones the last couple of days. And thank you very much. For some reason, you guys tell you something. You tried that on the last episode, Andrew.

Yeah, these you gave me scrap.

Episodes for the last time. You were supposed to have them with me, but you blew me off. I was on your schedule, but you didn't do it. Thank you for listening. We gotta go. We're not just gonna sit here and fight because no one wants to hear this. We will see you on Monday. Have a nice weekend.

Yeah, have a great weekend, and maybe.

Monday we'll have three to do.

How about that three?

We'll go back to three three serials.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You went from complaining that this episode is the worst episode of all time. We're done after one o five. We're gonna have to reassess. Tweet me who you think should be the new cost So let's do three on Monday.

Well, Jamie sent me a lot of really fun serials, so I want to get it to you. Okay, all right, thanks for me.

Have fun guests too.

Who's going to be the guest? You know, the ant that's crawling across your floor. What's going to be the fun guest?

Well, my dad wants to do an episode only if.

He has a Quaker costume in the closet. That's the rule.

I'll print out the Quaker face and then he'll just square that the whole time.

You have all weekend to make a costume. Okay, all right, Let's get the hell out of here, have a great weekend. We'll see you Monday, and say Crunch, Yeah I did it because you don't care anymore.

Okay, yeah, of course, just blame it on me for your attitude.

Just take crunch that we can go. Love you, Andrew, so we can go. Bye bye Crunch. Bruh, you said brunch, Stupid Andrew.