Underwhelmingly 50

Where's the confetti?

I'm peaking in the cereal sex.

Spray the confetti at me.

I'm doing something. I'm looking for something.

You're looking for confetti. It's episode fifty. I'm not an idiot.

I'm not looking for anything.

Yes you are, I'm not.

I'm in the cereal sack.

Look if you spray me with confetti and your ass is grass as far as I'm concerned.

Oh my god.

That it was very under dramatic.

Under dramatic isn't even a war?

I know what was the word I was looking for. It was anti climactic.

That's it.

That's garbage.

What is that?

I mean?

It's still shot at me. It was supposed to be this giant tube that like blew up all over the place.

Well, I have a feeling you have more surprises on the way.

No, I actually really don't.

I guess dare what's gonna be?

Well, tell you what's saireh y'l been like say you can.

Life. Well, it's my life, it's not yours. Because you don't care about cereal and you don't care about this podcast. However, you cared enough to get to fifty.

There it is.

Congratulations Andrew, thank you. I'm Scotty B. That's Andrew. Welcome to Serial Killers. It's the podcast where we talk about cereal and we think inside the box. And this is episode fifty. I can't believe we make Kennedy. This is pretty cool. Our listeners are awesome. They keep us here.

I can't hold on.

Can't believe it either.

Yeah, I can't believe it either.

So if you know, technically it's fifty three because we did three bonus episodes.

No, this is an official episode. This is episode fifty. This is a milestone.

Okay. Now you think I would have all kinds of stuff planned, but I actually don't. I'm so not prepared for this.

I'm fine with it.

I was doing work and you just sat down and you're like, it's you. So I'm like, I really don't have much prepared other than the cereal. We are going to do a special cereal today.

Oh I love that.

You know, we do a new, we do a classic, and usually a bonus box.

Not usually we do a bonus box. Oh that's saying that.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, I need to correct something that you mentioned in the last episode or two ago. I think it was even already. Yeah, it was episode forty eight when we did the peanut butter and jelly pops. I was correct as usual. All the and Legal are not the same thing. They're they're competitors the same company. No, they're not. They are one hundred percent strict competitors. They're just like coke and PEPSI. You can look up whatever you want going to. It's not the same company. They

Yeah?

Did you guys just have a party of two people right now?

I just blew my confetti all over Andrew's face.

I feel would be a very feminine color.

Would you like to take a seat.

She's very busy shipping. I mean, you're welcome to come, but you probably won't eat any of the stuff we're gonna do.

There's no meat cereal.

What kind of cereal do we eat?

Yes?

I got a pork I got pork chop plates you're ready, sit down, really take a seat.

Sure, join us.

I mean you don't have to. We're not forcing you. I'm not twisting your arm here. But if you'd like to sit down, you're more than welcome to join us for this milestone episode of Serial Killers.

Okay, fine, you know radio right, nobody can hear you. Yes, no, no, no, no in post production, no.

I gotta beat it and stuff no that.

Don't cry about it and should say we should say the F word. Okay anyone?

No, no, no, yay. In that case, Sam, you're only allowed to do one cereal. You're not doing more than one because you've angered me already.

So are you gonna give me the worst one? No?

I actually going to break out the brand new cereal. It's from Kellogg's. It just came out, just hit store shelves, and I grabbed him like this is for the fiftieth episode because it's like really shiny. Ye be well, the box is shiny. The cereal might suck, but the box is fantastic. Okay, all right, little boy from Christmas Story, and here we go. It's a kellogg cereal and it's a double sided box because it's a collector's edition. Whoa, it's all new frozen two cereal. Look at that.

Oh wow.

And the coolest part about this is you build your own ole off marshmallows. So it's a crispity crunchity Cereal. It say crisp crunch No, I just made it up because it doesn't say if it's corn or weat or oat or barley or rice or any.

Of that, thus making it crispy crunch.

Yeah. And you build marshmallows, you build olaf.

Can you open the box?

Oh sure?

Hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna be a Debbie Downer right now, and you're gonna be upset at before it what.

I love eating my cereal and playing the games.

So although this is a beautiful double sided box, I'm sad there's nothing for me to play with as I eat my cereal.

No, maybe there's something inside. Let's say first, I have to give it to the Scottie Shake, because tell.

Me that's posted somewhere on the interwebs.

I actually haven't recorded. I haven't posted yet. Mike asked that we posted. I haven't done it yet. It's beautiful, okay, So here we go Kelloggs once again with the loops.

It's er it's not.

It's a no, it's a loop. Kelloggs is very lazy lately.

It's a loop everything.

Wait what shape did you want it to be?

I don't know, but it's a loop. And if they just go with the extruder and they go for all these different cereals and they just they color them and flavor them differently, can I give a suggestion? Although they are a little bit smaller, I would like.

One thing that they should have thought about. They should have made them like cocoa puffs, a solid round sheep and then been like snowballs.

That's true. All right, let's see how this plays out.

Okay, okay, Sam what he doesn't even eat out of the bowl. He just does it for the sound effect.

Yeah, okay, Lenny Mud sent us all these balls, and they're beautiful and I want to make sounds with them.

Why don't you want to eat out?

Look at that one. That's a serial killer ball. That one would have me, thanks, LORI, alright, that's a good sound too. Well. I poured them into the bowl just so you can play with the marshmallows and build all offs.

Cool.

I know you didn't. I did, no you didn't, and you're trying to cover Why did you think I wouldn't eat this?

Vegetarians can eat snow, I can eat all off.

No, I think there's probably some meat by products in here.

Why it's cereal.

Don't ask any questions. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

Half the time, the meat.

By product comes with it, and this goes on top.

So that with real persuo.

Anna LOVESO in her cereal shop right milk still didn't get that milk sponsor. So we're going to keep using shop right until they decide to pay for it.

I love having no sponsors. Yeah, cass is running. It's dry.

Yay.

I can't pay my mortgage, but we can eat cereal all right. Let's see, he's such.

An a You supposed to build all off together. How does this work? To eat this?

Yeah?

Yeah, spread one two.

The marshmallow tastes like Plato.

I like the marshmallow.

It tastes like Blado, and I remember that because yes, as a child, I would he Plato judge me. But it tastes like BLADEO.

It's not toxic. Can eat all you want. The cereal is a bit boring.

Okay, it does not match the frivolousness of the box.

The cereal pieces are very bland, not very sweet, and you know a lot of marshmallows to make this work.

And the marshmallows, like Sam said, tastes like Plato. So it leaves me bad.

Not only I've gone for this cereal.

I give this two bowls.

This episode is a failure already.

Two balls.

This is the one you invited me on.

Come on, guys, Yeah, I'm going to go two balls. Also, the o's or the loops remind me of another cereal, Lucky Charms. No, don't start with this.

How is it not Cheerios?

Wellturias is another company, so it can't be Cheerios. Just like that ball. See the ball there says in a world of what does it say? Dump that out.

Loop? In a world of Ceerio?

Yeah, two different brands.

Advertise this as you can build ole Off. What part of Oloff is it like this bung hole?

Now build something?

There's nothing I can build.

Wait, okay, I have one orange nose.

That's an orange nose.

This is an orange nose? What is this purple blue swirl? I've seen frozen many a time and this is not a part of his body.

Leaf? What's leaf? Is that a character? It says leaf? And ole off leaf and build your own ole off marshmallows they're leaves.

So ole off is literally just circle and carrot?

Yeah? Are there three different sized circles?

Whole grain, oat, flowers, sugar, cornflower, brint? All right, so sugar is second ingredient?

Where is this? In what world? Is that?

It's a leaf?

I'm sorry? This was definitely a board meeting where like.

The intern Biff is the CEO son who is an intern who knows nothing about cereal and he smokes a lot of pot and it just comes up with dumb ideas.

It was a biffer.

Yeah, this one was supposed to be hung up on the fridge but somehow made it into the box.

Yeah. The marshmallows are okay, dry.

Now the cereal tastes like something else.

Right, that's like an old cereal. I can't I can't put my finger on it.

All right?

So two balls? Do we all rate this?

Did you rate it?

Of how many?

Five balls?

Like one?

That's one ball in a spoon? All right?

Wow, harsh critics a bowlt of spoon?

Cool? All right? Well, sorry, Kellogg's and you know what, see again it was not prepared. This is the time where I want to do the report about Kellogg's and post how they argued and they were had sanitariums and they were trying to get healthy and wearing the big Swims shirt.

Said like ten episodes ago that you were going to do Yeah, and don't you call millennials lazy? But yet you've consistently said you're going to do something and then you never do.

I feel attacked.

Hey, Andrew, what company makes count Chocula?

General Mills.

That's because you just looked at Booberry back there?

Hey, guess what is so? Answered? Gott to go.

Don't know anything about cereal, but I do have a present for you for our fiftieth Speaking of Count Chocula.

Is it more confetti?

Look? I got you count Chocula treats.

Oh that's nice.

They're delicious here, right thought. Yeah, but it's not a cereal so you're not going to eat it now. I'm just giving it too. It's a present.

He's so angry.

You want to do one more? Yeah, we're gonna go classic now.

Hey, I need my palate after that?

Andrew, are you a listener of this podcast. Yeah, then guess.

What what Serial Killers listener request?

It's me. Yeah, it's horn flakes.

I want to like do a whole build up.

Oh okay, I'll pretend like I don't know. Well, who is the listener?

Well, no, it's it's yeah, obviously it's you. I mean, I've already had these ready to go, and I can't believe that fifty episodes in we have not done this classic cereal yet. This came out in the early nineteen hundreds, like nineteen oh seven or eight or something like that. No, it's flakes, and their mascot is a cock. Hold on whien I go down to the cereal set.

I wonder what it could be?

Corn flakes? Wow, it is corn Actually, I think that's the mascot. See that strawberry.

Okay, Sam doesn't know this. G T was convinced that Cheerios because Cheerios had strawberries on the box. He was convinced the strawberry was the Cheerios logo.

That's not mascot. Yeah, no it is. If you listen episode forty five you'll hear all about it. So I'm upset. That's a cool recipe on the back, so you won't eat throws because there's meat inside those corn flakes.

The chicken. Yeah, there's meat in there.

Yeah, right there, chicken tender, corn flakes, corn flakes.

I love corn flakes.

I don't know the last time I've had corn flakes.

I don't think anybody like goes out just say I'm have corn flakes. They're boring.

I wanted smart started. I went back and had sports start. It was simple.

Oh wait, hold on, boy, oh god, can you.

Give me some of a plastic bag. I'll make William chicken later on.

Just now, you know you can't eat it because it's chicken, right right.

Because the inside ingredient. I'm just gonna side.

This is not a mocking Scott podcast. Oh my god, look this flake is Hold on, Jesus, look at this flake. That's a raging, massive flake.

Here have that two finger flake.

Yeah, you guys need a shadow box where you frame your most beautiful piece.

Of You know. It's funny because I don't know if I mentioned this before, but one time I had an audition on Hollywood Square. It was a long time ago. Yeah, and so while you know audition process, they asked what your hobbies were and I couldn't think of anything, so I said that I collect Cereal marshmallows, and then that's the first thing. I have no idea, but that's what came to mind. And the guy looked at me like okay. I was like, yeah, I have them all in little

Hey recognize tire tracks.

Maybe that's why Jeff Pros won't put me on Survivor because I said I do a Cereal Popca.

That's right. Cornflakes is also one of those cereals that is not trademarkable. So many different brands have made corn You can't eat till we say one, two to three. Many different brands have made cornflakes. Post has them. All right, well what else is new? Here? We go already one, two, three? Corn flakes?

You don't know my life?

Yeah, I like them?

Or bow you need marshmallows, they don't.

These are delicious. It's a lesser frosted flake.

Yeah, yes, they are frosted flakes without frosted is exactly what they are.

Great, you know, what would make them better their mascot?

Oh?

The cockrawberries.

Oh, I'm pretty sure he actually has a name. And you know what I'm gonna do. I don't care, but I'm gonna go on my phone and check because I think he has a name.

Wait a minute, what's the rumor that corn flakes were invented to calm women's orgasms.

Well, this was part of the sanitarium that mister Kellogg had way back in the day in Battle Creek, Michigan.

No, that's this is a real story. We're eating an orgasm food right now. Hold on.

Wow, I guess I'm the only person not on their phone.

What is the.

Name cornflakes and Orgasms.

Of the Rooster on corn flakes?

I'm gonna name him kell Mister Kellogg thought sex was the ultimate abomination.

Hold On, this is really long.

His name is Cornelius Rooster.

Yea, corn flakes were made to curb masturbation cravings.

Okay, that's pretty cool.

Wow, this is the opposite of an oyster.

Then I guess I should eat more. Hold On, I'm not kidding you gotta look this up. Two balls and a spoon from me, because any food, any marshmallows and frosting. Rude, Why this is.

A good cereal. You're judging it way too harshly. Respect Cornelius oasm.

It's not really why it was invented. It was just one of those things that they said and people believed way back in the day.

Okay, No, it was weird when I found the cereal in the shop right the other day, I realized we reviewed almost everything in the cereal aisle.

No, there's plenty we haven't. There's varieties of things that we haven't. Do you know that we still have not done chocolate frosted flakes? Did you know that?

I thought for sure we frosted flakes? What do you what?

You guys need a chocolate episode? You just do chocolates?

Sweetheart, We did that. You don't listen to this squad.

We called you sweethearts.

Well you haven't done chocolate frosted flakes, so easy on your judgment.

No, we have, we have not, But hold on, say, can we back the chalk up a second? What do you mean I didn't even know there was chocolate frosted flakes. We've talked about it before. You don't listen to anything if you.

Go back and make them montage of all the things that I've probably said that you've said that. I've just been like, oh, I didn't know. I mean, it would probably make up a whole episode, but that's your job.

Not mine.

Serial killers bons.

So apparently I'm sorry. He's your phone ringing, Go ahead, hashtag millennial.

Well Diamond is calling?

Okay, Well tell her she missed the confetti spray?

When are you putting milk on this persido?

That's new Italians, you know, I just realized this with this bonus box.

I'm just realizing this entire episode is Kellogg's. So we didn't give any love to Post or General Mills or Greenberry, who, by the way, shouted us out on Twitter.

I love Greenberry.

That's like whatever, dude, you thought it was great Berry all these years.

It's a simple thing to mix up great berry, great.

Berry, healthy cereal for your family. All right, So here, Raisin brand cruncherry, Hello talking Raisin brand crunch apple strawberry clusters your this before that we haven't and you're also going to get an allergic reaction. This sounds good, Scottie Shake and I have I have a surprise for you after we try it. I have some news.

Is there confetti in the box?

No?

Can you imagine a celebration that every bite?

He's so mad.

I'm not mad. This is episode fifty. I'm happy. It's a party life.

This one sounds like it's gonna be good.

Ooh, there's clusters.

Look at that?

What do you mean? What's wrong with clusters?

Try?

I wanted all kinds of like production and stuff and explosions and whatever, and I just I wasn't prepared. I was very busy today. And you know, I may have to just scrap this whole episode and we'll start over.

Oh god, I'm offended.

He's so dramatic.

Why I didn't know? But I thought you were an earth lover wasting plastic spoons.

You're a terrible producer. You didn't prep me for the episode.

I'm sorry. If you ever listen to this podcast, you know there's all he's a bonus box.

After I scraped this episode, you don't know anything, Sam, Here we.

Go one two, three.

Oh am, Oh delightful.

Pretty good clusters to clustery.

I like it sweet when you lie your.

Kids eat this in the morning. As far as nutritional value, because my mom was a Stickler for that.

We don't care about nutritional value. On the show All Taste Andy, what's his name?

Uh the Sun?

No, his name is Sonny. And how many scoops does you have? Tail? Okay, I give.

This two bowls in a spoon. The clusters are way too big. I feel like if you fed this to your kids before school, they'll choke. You have to give it to them like an hour before they're supposed to go to the bus, because this takes a while.

No, three balls, three bowls and a spoon for me, I like it now. The news about this cereal? Uh oh, it's been in my closet for a bit. It has a best by date of September twenty nineteen, and they don't make it anymore. So thanks for listening. But what it was discontinued a couple months ago, but I had it in my basement. We never did it, so I just wanted to. Probably didn't sell well.

So Scotty's Basement should be like a whole other segment that's his Hannibal, like your style basement and that he says, puts the lotion in the basket, and then.

I don't get the reference.

You never saw Hannibal. No, sorry, silence sad the Lambs.

That's where he wears that mask of the things. Yes, no, I never saw the movie.

I never said I've only seen Chips.

That's where the mangina was born.

Wait, what the magina?

You have a mangina?

I don't have one. I have the other one.

Oh but where a guy tucks this thing so it looks like he.

Has that's mangina.

That's from that movie.

That's where originated. As far as being famous in film.

Yeah, thank you very much for listening to episode fifty of Serial Killers. I'm sorry if it wasn't what you wanted, because it wasn't what I wanted. It just kind of happened.

You're literally just talking to you right now.

He does often.

No, I don't. Oh look there's Garrett.

Come me here, Garrett.

We're at the very end. We're just about to say crunch. We thought we'd have you in because it's your birthday. Oh thank you. Yeah. Do you want to try some of the cereal dry in your hand since we're out of milk?

Oh?

Yeah, there you go.

Can I have it?

Yeah, you can have it.

It's gluten free.

Oh no, we don't have anything. Everything has gluten, everything has sugar. Sorry, happy birthday? Did you like it?

I'll listen, don't tell me.

No, no, no, come on, and we're all going to say crunch together. Follow us Twitter, Instagram, like us on Facebook, serial Killers PC that's cereal with a C, and do all the podcast up and great and we'll see you soon on top.

Still didn't make it on the show.

You're on the show. Congratulations, this is your big debut. We'll see you Friday. Have a great week and until then, thanks for listening to the fiftieth episode of serial Killers and crunch.

Yay, I had to follow.

You don't even know that we say crunch. Can you just get out You're not a listener. You're a millennial too.

I am one.