This Little Piggy Has None

All right, lord, here we go.

This is serial heelers.

I'm sorry you had to witness my anger at the FedEx. Man.

Listen, I have had everybody I think has had a moment with a fed Ex driver. Oh there is sorry are you? I mean they don't spots this whatever for the you know, it's not just fed X, it's any delivery service or any company.

Here's this is my problem. It's very difficult for me to stay calm when I've been wronged, because I just want to go right in and.

Be like, oh, you freaked up and it was good, good censorship. I get annoyed, especially when you're like, okay, so where are they and they're like, we don't track the drivers.

You don't track the drivers. And here's my favorite part about FedEx or any delivery company. So the package wasn't picked up. What's the tracking number? Sir? What's the difference? You don't have it yet?

It's so true, like where are you locating it? Where is it? Why are you asking me the questions that you have access to. Sorry, now I'm making your bloe pressure.

Look I am.

I hate it. It's the worst, like I said, and it's it's frustrating because if they fed up, you're like, okay, so can't you just drive back? No, sir, Yeah, well you're already forty two thousand minutes behind, So what's the difference between driving back five minutes.

I'm gonna have a stroke. I think we should have some serial little calm me down. Okay, the sugar will do wondrous for me. Okay, all right. So we mentioned this in the last episode that you and I actually did, which was a little bit ago because the last one we had Gandhi and whatever. Anyway, and you, as.

You could see, we're here, yeah, recording together, so hopefully that oh yeah, we'll be doing something fun soon.

Yeah yeah, yeah, No, we're not breaking up.

We're not breaking up and hopefully fun things in the working in for twenty twenty six.

If anything, our relationship is stronger than ever.

Oh lord, that's what they say right before the breakup announces.

All right, listen, So I mentioned this a couple of episodes ago. It's a new fall Cereal that's out. And thank god for our greatest listener of all time, Matt Nelson.

Thanks Mad.

That dude is insane. He is so not only does he stock our sack frequently. But in this last package, you said, can I just show you what? He said? Sure, dude, Okay, so this is the second jar of cherries that he sent me. Oh cool, I love I love cherries, and he knows my love for cherries. So I guess he cans them or finds a store that has them or something. I've already eaten three quarters of one of these just with a spoon out the jar.

That's so great.

Yeah, it's probably really good for me also. But in this next package he also sent me, he sent me.

Peaches too, but they're not in a can. They did?

They also come from a joke?

Why would you? You're insane? Put it on top?

I did?

You went like this and put it on?

It was? Yes?

What is this coated in? Just sugar?

I guess yeah, peaches, sugar and water sweet. This one I don't really understand. I don't know what to do with that.

Oh this is like it's called cacho something. Okay, we're not I don't know what chow chow is.

I would eat all of that.

Parrots, string beans, watermelon rind, pickles, watermelon rind, kidney, beans, onions, pepper, celery, sugar, water, vinegar, salt, spices.

Oh see, I didn't read the ingredients. I'm good with everything in there except the peppers.

Yeah, that's interesting.

I'll just move it over here. So I'm gonna eat the I'm gonna fully eat these with a spoon out of the jar.

Cool.

The vegetable one, I'm not quite sure because the peppers destroy it for me.

I think if you put it maybe in like a stew, yeah, or chicken or something like that. I don't know, but yeah, but it's to your meal.

But it's probably in vinegar because it's canned or jarred or whatever that is, correct, I don't know. Yeah, all right. Anyway, So to the cereal that he sent, check it, check it, check it.

What what are you saying, check it check it for because of his checks?

Oh my god, I didn't even know that. I'm not even kidding. I swear on my life, I swear I didn't say that because it's checks. But check it checks, checks it.

Out, checks it out.

It's caramel corn checks.

I'm actually very excited for this.

I'm also it's limited edition for the holiday season. It's got the little green bow there yay, so it could be for Christmas or whatever. I think this is more Thanksgiving ish, right, it's fall, it's just for fall.

It's fall period. I mean, can you get caramel corn all year round?

Yes?

But do we associate it with fall? Probably? Also yes?

Now, when are they going to bring back my vanilla checks? I'm so distraught. I'm sorry that you're distract It's a problem because when I knew they were going out, I bought seven boxes of them and finally finished them. They were stale as hell, but they're the best.

The rice checks were my favorite, and I know they still have them.

So right now, the lineup, according to the back of this checks box is strawberry, vanilla, honey, nut, cinnamon, corn rice, wheat, chocolate, peanut, butter, and blueberry. Do they not have the brand anymore? Hmm? I don't know. The watch is First of all, I'm on crack. I think today the watch is making me insane.

You're doing the line.

I don't know how to shut the notifications off, and it buzzes on my wrist. I hate it. It's not there.

It is.

You have to like I went to settings and everything.

You have to go to your watch setting.

No I did.

I'll do it after this. This way we don't just yeah, all right, Oh it smell.

It does smell carmally. Yeah, and it says it's flavored with other natural flavors, so there's no artificial flavoring. It has that great check sound, and.

It's gluten free.

Mean Garrett could have these, Yeah, but they's sugar in it and he'll die from the sugar. Okay. Yeah, they sound so.

They one two punch frame.

They sound plastic.

Yeah right, it kind of sounds like a magic spoon.

Yes, what the cereal?

Yeah?

Oh you know how they have that plastic oh yeah, yeah, yeah, sound it almost it sounds like chips, like like like that you gamble with chips.

Chips, not that one that the chips chips. We really should do a chips rewatch podcast.

I'm ready for that. I'm telling you people would tune in, okay because nothing exists like it. No, and we could probably get Larry will Cox and Erica, so we could definitely get and all of them. Yes, who's Brody Greer?

Brodie Greer was a cop.

Yeah, he was the one that the guy that pulled out the shotgun, the only one ever. Yeah, Marsa, all right, I'm excited for this you're ready. One thing, my god, I've ever had. It's really crunchy. Yeah, and it's definitely the corn checks underneath there. It's good. The crunch factor is odd, yeah, but I do like the taste. It's interesting.

I'm gonna give this. Let me try one more.

Hmm. It brings my taste bude to fall festival, it really does.

Of which you go too many. I love them. You go to fall festival, I do.

I love the apple picking and everything.

It's just called fall festival. It's not called going to a farm to go apple picking.

Yeah. We have the hay things and the corn and everything.

So you go to a farm, you don't go to a fall festival.

Yeah. No, they're not always on farms, Okay, they just put them in a field sometimes.

Yeah, I'm gonna give this three bowls in his spoon. I like it. It's a little too crunchy, and it has a very burnt aftertaste.

It does have a touch or burnt what kind of I like that.

In normal checks. I don't like it with the sweetness. It's a little dueling for me.

Four both from me. I'm enjoying it. And let me just say General Mills did not send us this box. Matt did, Thanks Matt, so I don't have to thank General Mills in the in the line line or things.

Thanks King.

They got mad at me one time. Why they DM me and said, you didn't you didn't write that we sent it to you in your description. I'm like, huh, well, that's because I bought them. You sent it too late. That was the Wicked Cereals. They told me. I didn't tag them in the Wicked Cereals that they gave it to us. But I bought those because they sent there's too late. Oh well, I mean, don't you think that

Mm hm, you're just dripping milk heavy? Are you good? No, you're slopbright.

I just gleaked.

Also, please, gleaking is discussed sing you know what.

Let's stay on the Fall fest tip.

Oh yes, we're at the fall Festival aka, we're at a farm and Scott's get found one apple? Did I press report on that?

Oh? God, I hope you didn't. Yeah. Recording in progress right, okay, I I think so sorry, it's his recording up top.

No, no, I see it now. It looks like a skyscraper is in the wave file.

Because you just clenched your pearls heavens my guests. Matt sent this one also because I didn't buy this. This is Brad's Organic. That's put the little baby on the front. Organic granola, pumpkin flax.

Brad. There's just a guy named Brad.

We've had We've had Hello check cereal Killerspecie dot com, We've had Brad's Organic. What do we have another one?

Okay? No, you tell me Einstein, what do we have?

Listen, bro, We're at a lot of cereals.

It up. I want to know. I would know if I just had a guy named Brad.

We did because there's a baby on it.

I don't remember this. Maybe that was one when you did it without me?

No, we did it.

Okay, Brad?

You want to you want to read all about Brad.

Brad's Organic Granola is crafted batched by batch using only the very best organic ingredients. Are authentic baking process delivers a world of flavor and old fashioned goodness. Packed with whole grain oats, It's a good source of fiber and contains five grams of protein preserving.

Yeah.

Look, yeah, it's by yourself. No, you're there.

Look there was COVID time and there's a picture of you. So you tried it. Wow, you definitely had it.

January fourth, twenty twenty one.

Yeah, it was Brad's Organic Granola Island pistachio.

I love this. Then an underwhelming underwhelming granola from bread.

Whoops?

What did we give it?

Right there? Oh?

I give it three bowls and a spoon. How were you saying it was underwhelming? I found it delicious.

Ye because I write the descriptions and it was underwhelming for me. No, I think because we get so excited for pistachio and it probably was not up to par.

Yeah, okay, and what is this one, honey?

This one it's pumpkin flax. Anything that's pumpkin is BS because there is no pumpkin, so it's basically gonna taste like cinnamon and nutmeg.

Yeah, I a wlilsh I would stop with that. Yeah, we can see through.

Well, I mean I think those days are done. I really do what I think all the pumpkin spice rage. I think it's slowing down.

What do you have for this data?

I just I just think it is. I think people are tired of it. They're tired of it.

You're tired of a whole season.

Yeah, you know, the whole countdown at Starbucks for the PSL's. I mean, it's so stupid, so dumb.

But then how many people do you see waiting in line.

Not for that? I feel like that's the kind of thing you have once in the season you're like, I'm good.

Okay, So based off of your evidence, you're saying, I just think it's a bit much, and I think it's a little over.

I do see pumpkin season here or pepitas? What do you call those?

Why would I know.

They are pumpkin seeds? But aren't they also called like pepitas?

Okay, Hilario Baldwin, I don't know what to tell you. Is that a Baldwin kid, Hilaria, Yeah, is the one who speaks in the fake Spanish accent? How you say cucumber?

Wait? Is that? Is that a wife of a Baldwin or daughter of a.

Bald Alec Baldwin's wife? Oh? Really, Hilario Baldwin. Even though her name is Hillary and she says she was like raised in Spain, she grew up in Connecticut, and now she just speaks with an accent. I like that name though, hilarious, hilarious Baldwin, yes translated, all right, there's some flax seeds in here.

I think. Look, it tastes like your basic a Quaker granola's work tastes like to me, it reminds me of like a Quaker kind of granola. I don't taste very much pumpkiny flavor. I don't get the I don't get the fall festival vibe from it. It's just it's kind of bland.

You win this fall festival vibe? M again, where is it?

I'll tell you what thing. Nothing drives me crazier than when these picked your own pumpkin places.

Uh huh.

Dump the pumpkins and drive away. I want to cut it. I want to I want to cut the stem right out the ground, right out the Because you are a farmer now, it's not even that forgotten.

You're not also your country roots. Because you remember you grew up it was a line of bean farm, potato potato farm. Yes, I forgot you up on a farm.

Listen, if the pumpkins aren't grown there, you can't say pick your own pumpkin. You can say pick up your own pumpkin, but you can't say pick because you're not picking it.

So you want everyone to go out into the field with their own pair of scissors to cut their pumpkins.

When I was a child and I used to go to Myers Farm, I remember we would go up the road and they would they would be on the vine still, and you took them off the vine. That's picking your own pumpkin, not picking out your own pumpkin picking.

Okay, whatever, I'm sorry, I don't remember that.

Well, of course this is this is not bad, but it's just it's kind of bland. I don't I don't taste the pumpkiny stuff. It's all right if you just want to plan all granola. I guess it's healthier because it's kind of flax in it. It's organic. It's all right. I'm gonna give it three balls.

Just like I gave Brad's organic Granola Island pistachio in twenty twenty one. I will give it to them now in twenty twenty five. All right, three bowls in a spoon. That is, it's a nice sweetness to it. There is zero pumpkin flavor. There is not even a hint like of cinnamon or nutmeg. It's just a standard granola that just says pumpkin flax. Yeah whatever, thanks, Brad. No, I wonder if this kid is Brad. Were you about to

It could be his child.

This picture looks like he was taken in nineteen forty two. No, yes, why sepia to make.

It look old. Anyway, listen, we'll be back after this word from Wilford Brimley. Oh it's the right thing to do. Oops, Edward back. So I got something really fun for you here, Andrew. Do you remember, maybe a year or two or three ago, we had a listener I believe her name was Alyssa Uh, and she was having a Serial Killers themed birthday party. Yes, we were invited, but we couldn't go, and she had all kinds of fun games and things made up, and

I do.

Is there a way for you to like post it in the video? Probably? Not right, we don't have like cool video. We still got to get my daughter to do the cool bit. She's taking a video production class now so she can produce all our videos and it could be her project. Great. She was supposed to come in and record this for us today. Unfortunately she had school so she couldn't. But I want her to start doing some videos for us.

Great, would you mind? Sure? She could take it all?

She was gonna bring in this professional camera and everything. Fine.

I love that. I would just love to get rid of these mics. In all honesty, I hate these mics with a passion. I hate having to be like a giraffe eating off a tree every time I want to speak on this podcast.

Maybe we could wear some lava ears this.

I do have those really, and the sound quality is actually really.

Good, but every time it brushes against your shirt, it gets that noise. How often am I gonna be going like good moving around?

Well?

How about the headset ones like Matt Rife wears.

On No No, No, no No. I hate that, but I would like I would like to go back, especially because I feel like we can't have guests in here. It's so cramped it is, and it's really sad because I feel like I was watching some of our older videos. I really enjoyed the old studio because of that huge table that we could have.

I know, you can't set that up in here, Actually kind of could. I guess if we have microphones and I have Jeff put mics on that table and with chairs behind it.

Yeah, I would be happier to do it there than I would hear.

I hate these a right, Let's try to figure something out. I'm gonna work on it. Great, I'm gonna work out the logistics. Yeah, okay, I mean, do you think that you know any of these? You do that one's cheery. Well, this isn't gonna do anything for the viewers, but whatever.

Number one is cheery os okay. Number two is lucky charms. Number three is raised crispys. Number four is corn flakes props. Number five is waffle crisps.

You're probably right.

Number six is cocoa puffs. Number seven is capping crunch, peanut butter crunch or reeses puffs. Very good, it's the ESEs that's oreos mm hmm. Come on special k with strawberries, with cranberries, with raising with a red fruit berries?

Say it red fruit berries? No, not the fruit part red berry? Very good? Okay, and fruit loops okay.

Very good.

I think you did pretty well. There's another page, lord I we'll do that one next time.

Okay. Anyway, so pick where's the answers?

I just told you it's right so well because I know all of them.

Thanks for the extra credit on that, No problem, I know them, honestly. That's how I used to know you, didn't I know all those.

Well.

I had to tell you what number five was, No, no, I said, it's waffle christ and you go, h no, maybe it.

Probably is happy shapes from the Pickley Wiggley. That looks a whole hell of a lot like what's his name, Porky Pig? Yes, but how did he get away with that? He looks a lot like Porky pick.

That is Porky Pig, right, Like if I were Looney Tunes, I would have a season desist tomorrow.

Why was he playing basketball?

Because he could do anything? He played it in Space Jam too, the Monstars really yes.

Huh god, I wasn't that bugs Bunny. It's the Looney Tunes, right, they're all in it. Oh, I didn't know that. I never saw sports jam never.

I was a little afraid of it as a kid.

Not a basketball fan. I never saw sports.

Movies to say Space Jam is like a serious sport, like, I'll you're right, it is a sports movie.

Huh.

But to say it's like, oh, I don't like basketball, it is there are cartoons.

No, I understand.

I don't think you do, because you literally said, oh, I don't like the sport of basketball, so I can't watch space I.

Was never into sports movies, like, you know, like white men can't jump, that's basketball also, right, I don't. I don't watch sports.

That's a little more grounded. I'm talking cartoon characters playing basketball on an alien planet.

Still sports, though, I'm not interested. I kill the dreams all that sports. Yep, yep, you know what, not gonna not gonna dwell on this one.

You're so right, it's a sports it's very sports.

Well, I mean, it's just like the argument that some movies are Christmas movies and some aren't. Whatever. You know, it's sports movies.

No one's arguing with that. I it is, but it's also a cartoon.

By the way, we're using two percent lactaid milk today. What are the shapes with extra calcium? I see stars, the stars, So the cereal pieces are starts.

See green ovals.

They just they can't use the same lucky charms ones, so they just use random Although there are yellow stars.

These are exactly the same. No, they're just all wonky shaped, wonky shaped. Okay, this is a crown. They don't have crowns and lucky trim hm hm hm hm hmm. The marshmallows are stale.

There's brand new, dude, I didn't. I'm not giving you old cereal. No, I know it's good till May of twenty six, and I just don't.

I know. The marshmallows are not good.

Maybe that's I mean, you know when the cereal tastes a little burn Also, I like that. I would actually give credit they didn't like it in the checks.

I didn't because I didn't it was this is different. Marshmallow isn't a sweet.

I don't know, dude, because if you look back, normally, most variations of Lucky Charms for me are five balls all day. I don't love this one.

I'm gonna give it four bowls. The marshmallows are not as some of the marshmallows have like a crunch.

This one doesn't. It's almost just like an immediate like it's very weird for me to say, but I'm gonna give it three balls in a spoon. Yeah, it's just not it's not Lucky Charms level. It's just not.

So is the pig at Pickley Wiggly just called Pickley Wiggly.

He probably has a name. I mean, because like I totally just envisioned Lucky the Leprechaun, like tying him up and throwing him off a cliff or something like that, or making bacon or making bacon. Yeah, yeah, like kind of like in a Roadrunner cartoon. Yeah, but uh yeah, I don't know. Does he have a name?

I guess it's just Pickley.

Does the Pickly Wiggly mascot have a name? Pickley Wiggly, the mascot for the Southern US grocery store chain of the same name, with an appearance strikingly similar to that of Porky pig Oh.

This answer is from fandom.

Dot com, thank you wells. So his name is Pigley Wiggily.

So he is Piggy Wiggly, and then by association, he's also playing for a team called the Pickley Wigglies. Yes, because his face is also on the team. That's interesting. I I don't I don't believe that I've ever been. Why is the net right there? Why are you jumping?

Because that's for me? It's so easy, like you're jump You're jumping for nothing in the air. Yes, No, anyway, that was a fun episode, Andrew, Why is.

It bad basketball theme? Now? I have more questions?

Now all the cereals basketball themed? I don't know. I tell you what. We do have another we can check? Shall I pull it out of the sack?

I'm gonna look. Don't look at it, don't look. Wait, it's on the table. I can look.

Oh okay, so piggly wigglies are sports themed things. Look, he's playing soccer in this one, but he's still wearing his little chef's hat. Oh okay, he's got some some thighs and his balls are showing. Oh my goodness.

Wow, we gotta go.

We'll get to him next time. Thanks for the happy shapes from the Piggly Wiggly Yeah. Please follow us on Instagram at serial Killers PC. Look at the website serial KILLERSPC dot com and you will now see that we've done a piggly wiggly cereal.

And hopefully fun exciting things to come in the future.

You keep teasing with this stuff, yes, because it's you have to manifest fun and exciting.

It's called manifesting. Try it. Yeah, say something that you want to manifest.

Sounds like some sort of disease manifest.

Yeah, it can be both. The thing that they read on the flights that tells you all the passengers that's right.

That could be a bad thing, wasn't there wasn't there a show called that or something was It was called manifest right, isn't that when the plane like vanished.

Yes, but a flight manifest just tells you who's on the plane. Yeah, that's like a standard thing. It's scary to have one, right, but it will never show the stone being.

Scared of the word list lists many things, many things. Anyway, thank you for listening to Serial Killers. We will see you next Monday with an all new and I think we're really due for a bullshot because we have lots to talk about. So until we see you again Monday with an all new Serial Killers, say crunch, Andrew Crunch.

Okay, goodbye bye,