Hey Andy, oh hi Scott, welcome to serial Killer. This off what told everyone you were pre recording? We always pre record. It's never live. Yeah, but you don't want people to know that we do like two at a time. Whatever. Hey, it's serial Killers. This the podcast where we talk about cereal. We eat it, we try it to see whether you should do the same. So that's our tagline. And we also think inside the box, thinking the outside the box
is dumb. You won't be any cereal there, it's all inside it, yeah, you know.
Or maybe you open the bag in a dumb way and now they're cereal all over the place.
All over the inside of the box. Yeah, not good. Where the prize used to be in the eighties, Yeah, on the inside of the box, remember those days, I do, because they were in the bag and you'd have to reach all the way in the bottom. Cereal everywhere, puffed the box out. But then they started putting it in between the bag and the box, so you just reach in,
grab it, doink, steal it, yep, everything, you know. Sometimes they used to be open boxes in the supermarket on the shelf with the flap open, not the bag open, the flap because someone stole the prize out. Yeah. Those Garfield bike reflectors, dude, those were the shizz I'm telling you. I remember that I had an orange one in my bicycle. The eyes were the reflectors.
They did computer discs in some of them where you could like test out the Scholastic games and like other ones really Poppies no Flop CD. It was a CD, yeah, and I loved it. It's like you got to play like ten minutes of a computer game.
It was great. I feel like those were usually like on the back of the box in like a weird little thing that would open. No, it was inside the bag, huh. It was like inside the box between the bag. Yeah. Now serial prizes are like, here's a guy in this QR code for more fun. You get a digital coupon. I like that. Oh I want a coupon. Okay, Well, they used to print the coupons on the box and you have to cut it. But the mom would cut into the bag and every cereal everywhere. Well, I said
the mom. Well, I mean traditionally in the eighties, the mom would cut the coupons. Right. Sorry, you just took this someplace and nobody said anyone argument. I envisioned somebody like, why only moms cut the coupons? Oh I hear it? Who I just envisioned it. I'm in the room with you. No, once this is posted, people are going to comment, oh, only moms can cut coupons. No, I'm a dad and I do as well.
Well, if you remember the last episode, you said you don't know where to find any of the comments.
I'm just you're going to read them to me at some point, okay, on the Spotify.
Well, if you are the one person who read it and got offended by that, we apologize.
Yeah, everyone can cut coupon, not really anymore, they don't really have them. That was scary. We could have been canceled for that, right really, thank god for now they're all digital. Yeah. AnyWho, so this is going to be an episode of all weird store brand type cereals. Okay, so they're not they're not major super what do you call it? No? No, No, they're not major like brands. Yeah, I mean major brands, major brands. Yeah, I mean one of them maybe is, but not really. I'm a great
value is Walmart is Walmart? But that's a store. Yeah, so you wouldn't find a great value. And you know Target, So this is exclusive to stores only. They're not major brands. How about that? They're not to general mills, your catalogs, your post, what else? Come on your dad the Quaker? Very good? Okay, you are like in.
Your own like a jo V Lane and I'm just with you for the ride because you're talking real quick anyway.
So this is the latest and great value? Is that what I think it is? I don't know. Is that candy corn? No? For the fall of what I found? These are jetpuff candy corn marshmallows. They're marshmallows. Okay. I was giving them to Danielle, but she didn't come in today. I bet you could put those in cereal. Yeah, I bet you could. They are marshmallows. Look at this? What is it? It's red velvet cake. Oh fine, limited edition.
Here's the thing, right, velvit cake requires cream cheese for the frosting. Yeah, so how are you gonna make that in cereal form? This is powder powdered, cream cheese powdered. You really think that great value? Cereals use chocolate mix and cream cheese powder?
Yes? Okay, why I'll make sure to really taste for it. It says naturally flavored. So what about a powder of cream cheese? The powdered milk is powdered milk because it's just powder form. Okay, look, yellow corn flour, sugar, whole grain, oat flour, canola and or soybean oil. How do you not know which one? I'm just curious. Corn syrup, de germed corn meal, salt, cocoa process with alkali, cornstarch, palm oil, natural flavor. And Red forty is that the outlawed one?
Red forty? I think it is. So we'll get cancer from this box, yeah, and then pretty soon it won't be in here anymore. I don't actually think I think it's one of the single digits. Oh it's not Red forty. I think forty might be. Okay, hey it smells cream cheesy. No it doesn't. That smells like chocolates like cream cheese to me. Okay, a big old of tempty? What's tempty?
I'm again just your passenger as you're barreling down the highway.
Well outside of this market. People, Really, I don't think know what tempty is tempty? Cream cheese was originally made by Breakstones might still be and it was in that pink container. When I was a kid, it was cardboard. Now it's plastic. Oh cool. Yeah.
Red forty die is not outlawed at the federal level, but California is phasing it out of it's using schools.
Because everything in California causes camp.
Red Die forty is controversial due's concerns about hyperactivity, behavioral problems, and children. Okay, all right, we're gonna use the two percent lactaid extra calcium, andrew, because I want your bones to be strong.
Thanks. Isn't there already a lot of calcium and milk? Yeah, so you need extra calcium. That's like overload. That's like taking two multiple vitamins in a day, multi vitamins multi Wait, this is multi shot for multiple. So so centium is a multiple vitamin, yes, but they call them multi vitamins.
Yes, because they put all the vitamins into one.
I've never heard anybody say a multiple vitamin yes, because that sounds dumb. So you just say a multi vitamin. All right, let's see what this is all about. Ooh, hey, man, that tastes like red velvet cake. It does. I'm serious. Are you not tasting it? No? Are you nuts? This doesn't taste bro this tastes like red velvet cake. Hmm, do you like red velvet cake? Yeah, but this is this doesn't taste anything like that. Oh my god, it does cream cheese, red chocolate. Everything red is now just
a flavor. Yeah great, Yeah, I taste red. Well, that's good. Four bowls.
Honestly, it just tastes like a like a sweetened loop of sorts.
Most it's not bad. I'm just gonna give it like three bowls. Okay. It kind of misses the mark on the red velvet taste for me. Listen, I'm a red velvet fan. My favorite red velvet cake is from California Pizza Kitchen. They only have it seasonally. But this tastes like red velvet cake. If you're a fan, I would try this. It does not if I'm wrong, you know what? I would like someone to try this and let us know who's wrong. Yeah.
If I gave you a blind taste test and said, okay, tell me what flavor it is, red velvet not even a shot that somebody would get that.
Are you a condo sore? Because I am dude.
You went to the California Pizza Kitchen. You're not a cond of sore. I am velvet cake.
I am. I can eat a tub of cream cheese frosting right here, right now, so good? Who challenged you to do that? I'm just saying how much I love it? It's delicious. Also, what does that have to do with a red velvet cake? Huh? What does that have to do with you? This tasting like a red there's no cream cheese petty crocker all day. I'll just spoon it out for breakfast again. Who's asking you to do that? But it tastes like it? How it tastes like the frosting.
It's neither chocolatey enough. Try the milk, drink the milk guarantees the frosting. Mm hm no yeah, still no, all right, whatever, bro will agree to disagree on this one. Yeah, and everything else in life.
There's nothing that tastes like red velvet. It's sweet and it's good, but it is not red velvet.
My chest hurts. Maybe it's the red forty, Maybe your hyperactivity. I don't know. All right, Shall we move on? Please? Did you want to do Millville or Kiggins? Next Kiggins Kiggens? Yeah, the Kiggins I'm pretty sure is also Matt Nelson. Thanks Pal, I have to shake this one up. I don't even have the thing. So do you want to like show the box you usually do. It's Kiggins Country crunchy granola raisin brand, are you okay? No, thank you? I don't know.
I don't know where it's sold, so kickins. Kiggins is one of those brands where it is a store brand, but multiple different stores in that particular conglomerate will sell it. Cool.
So, yeah, this is Kiggins, and it's got the big barcode at the bottom.
Which generally is reserved for an all ther legal, which is what we're gonna do next. Millville, Millville, Millville is legal? Yeah, I think, yeah it is. No, it's not. It's all the Holy health. Okay. It just looks failed pretty good. Oh, it's a reason brand. How can it stink? It smells like cardboard? I don't know. Well, it's because you were You weren't sniffing the cereal, you were sniffing the box. Yeah, it kind of smells like Plato. You did a terrible open.
Well, considering my alternative was to have you just bumbling all over the place.
Okay, So it's got your flakes and your little granola chunks. So this is I mean, this is the equivalent to the Kellogg's. It's just the rip.
Yeah, I mean they even use the same font for reasons and.
Color and everything. Yeah, but no sugar raisins.
We know.
I'm not a fan of because I need all the sugar I could possibly get. Yeah, No, for sure, you do two percent lactate, Andrew, thank you, welcome. I like using the lactate because it doesn't hurt my stomach, because the regular milk coats your stomach, Andrew, please, sometimes it does. I don't know that it ever has. You've never called me from your house. Goal we should have recorded three episodes come out on the bowl, Like, never ever to
have happened. Would I ever tell you about my bowel movements? Well, if you were having trouble with them because of the milk, you would have said, can we please use lactose free milk from now on? If I ever said that to you, you would have been like, absolutely not. You don't even know if I have a coupon, Yes, I'm fine with last new dude, we use lactose free all the time. Okay, here we go. Hmm, there's a little bit of molasses in there. I bet raisins are much chewy, but good.
It's not a bad rip off. No, the flakes are okay. I like the flake. Mm hmmm. Three balls in this poom for me. On this one, I was gonna say the same from the crunchy granola raisin Bram. That's nice. It's a good source of fibers. So that will also help you on the ball. Andrew, Oh, well, thank you so much for announcing that to the entire world. Scott, no problem, it'll just cancel out the lactose. Oh yeah, for sure, so you're good. Thanks. All right, I got
nothing here? So uh will we sing a song together? No? What song did you want to sing? You pick, I'll sing it with you, and I'm not We're just gonna take a break and I'm gonna pick any sound effect you're ready tell me to stop, and I'm just gonna say stop, stop, see what it is right back wherever I like. I'm gonna write down twelve o six so much I want to say before we get into the episode. I saw into the episode. We're almost done.
Oh yeah, sorry. I saw Darren Feffer when I was in Vegas.
For the Good dude. Man, what a good guy.
And we were in an elevator and he stopped there was it was after night one and there was a very drunk woman on the elevator with us.
Yeah, and she was like, are you working?
And Darren was like yes, and he was like, do you know of the show? Do you know of iHeart? Do you know they have a lot of podcasts. Do you know there's one where they just eat cereal?
And it was fun. He was playing it off and then one was like, oh, do you know that Darren is one of the best human beings that there is? Yeah, yeah, one of He's very nice, he's a good dude, and he's a big fan of this podcast. So shout out to Darren driving in your car right now to go pick up something important. I don't know. Thanks picking up the important things. That's right, seven o six. Anyway, let's get out to the next one. That's another number that
means nothing but to the kids something. Yeah, it definitely riz exactly. Are you infected? Nope, that's how it healed. That's what happens when you guys all make fun of me. Liver spots. It's not a liver spot. It's it's a scar now from the fall, and you guys make fun when I wrap it and ooze it and all this stuff and put things on it, and you're like, oh, oh, everything hurts. But now look what happened because you guys made fun of me. That's because of you guys, I've
got a scar for life, a scar for life. Well, I guess technically that's redundant, because scars are for life.
Okay, so that's our faults for speaking that into existence. Yes, okay, No, No, you're totally right, And that's very very practical because if.
You and Gandhi and Diamond wouldn't all make fun of me every time I come in with a bandage on it or a wrap on it or something. Because now the sun got to it and it destroyed it. So that's you didn't take care of it. Oh, I took care of it, but you made fun of me, so I felt I felt pressured to not take care of it. That's right. So you didn't take care of your own body, and it's my fault, it is. Oh, Oh, I have to wrap it on. I need first aid.
Maybe you have to go to the hospital. Oh, i'moulda send you a picture from the emergency room. I don't need that all day, so I'm just gonna not do anything. And now Scar, it's fine.
Dude, blame hates to see you coming. Whatever. I should sue you for destroying my body. Oh okay, yeah, it's gonna go far and court cuts. Yeah, well, I'll get a one of those judges that's very sympathetic. No, one won't be sympathetic.
The minute you hit the stand, they'd be like, actually, he needs a mental hospital.
I'll show videos and pictures from this whole place that we work in, and I'll say, oh, I get it. Yeah, damages.
Well, once I show him some of the pictures and video I have from you, then he'll be like, oh yeah again, mental hospital.
Wait what do I do? Doctor? He escaped straight jacket? Literally take them away tuts. All right, So here's your aldi uh store brand Millville cool from Aldy honey crunching oats. That would be your what do you think equivalent honey bunches of oats from posts? Oh good man? Oh, because it says it right there. It does. Yeah, it does a lot of times they have to say it. It doesn't what it doesn't say it at all.
This one doesn't No, usually, it would say compare to if I never said that, then these people watching would have been.
Like, antsy does nothing and just gone with you? Who not gonna lie? Has been entirely erratic this whole episode. Yeah, something's wrong with me. I think I probably from the scar. No, for sure. Anyway, it looks like honey bunches of oats. It's got the flakes, it's got the clusters and the little pieces of oat. Here you go, that's for you. Thanks. Cool. One smells like coconut, just like the other one. Remember, yeah, for sure, I had a very strong coconut flavor. But
what what why do you shake your head? It's coconut? Clean yourself? Are you what are you doing? It's a coconut. I can't swallow it. There's no coconut. Oh there is.
Not.
Once did I think to myself that tastes like coconut.
It smells like coconut, and to tastes like coconut. There is no coconut in this at all. By the way, last week I smashed a coconut open with a hammer and the inside went all over me. What spilled it all over me? I was drinking it like it was going all over me like a baby.
Cool.
I love thanks for that aside, But I love the coconut water or milk or whatever it is inside. I love it. You remember whoever they came to visit, they left a coconut out front. I brought it home. Oh, I smacked it with a hammer and the stuff went everywhere. But I tried to drink it cool, and then I ate the meat because I love fresh coconut. Great, No, for sure, look like so this cereal was pretty good? I like it. Yeah, I'm gonna give it. I think four bowls. That was sweet.
It doesn't taste like coconut, and it's uh for a store brand, pretty good.
I'm gonna give it four balls as well. I bet you're this coconut in here? I literally not even too soon. You read it. It said there's no coconut. It's gotta be. I think you read it wrong. The cinnamon, honey? What is that cinnamon? Honey? I can't see anymore. I think it's coconut in here.
Are you gonna clean up your chunks of whatever all over your keyboard that's discussed?
Yeah no, because it's not gonna work tomorrow morning when I try to do the show because it's coconut inside the button.
There's no coconut. There's no coconut. We've explained it like four times.
Anyway, Hey, this has been fun. Thanks for listening to Cereal Killers. A wet towel. You need like a nap. Let's put you down, let's take you home, champ. I think so, I think so. Please follow us on Serial Killers PC on Instagram. You're gonna clean that whole chunk up. I'm gonna try. Yeah, you really spit that very far? Well. You made me laugh. I don't know how. I just there's no coconut. It tastes, it tastes like it. If you buy this, if you've had the cereal, please let me know.
Let's let's like swap right M If I were to say that, how would you have acted?
I would have said, you're right, No, how do you.
Normally act whenever I say, oh, this tastes like this? Yeah no, no, right, impossible.
But but that's because your palate must be broken because it's legit.
You thought that the fake red velvet cereal that should taste like a chocolate cake with cream cheese icing. It did tasted like that. It did in no way, shape or form. Did that taste like red velvet cake? Okay, now you're convinced that this honey crunch and.
Notes with almonds when it has no coconut. I don't think it's me. I think it might be you. It's in there somehow. Okay, you know what, I think I can sue them because they didn't list it in the ingredients. Maybe what if I was allergic to coconut? Let me just call someone up really quick. We're gonna go an Thank you for listening to Serial Killers. Please follow us and like us and subscribe and check everything and click everything and do all the things you gotta do to keep us here. Yes, so well.
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Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next Monday with all new Serial Killers. Until then, say crunch, crunch, Let's take you home, buddy. I want to go home. Yeah,