Mom Can Do Better

Who is that.

That's Garrett trying to get in again.

Oh sorry, it's the end of the show. Just kidding, it's the beginning of Serial Killers. Yes, episodes thirty six, No. Seven, actually thirty seven. Oh wow, but I thought we weren't going to say numbers anymore. Well, you know, I got caught up in like the hype of things.

Okay, so this is the last time we'll say the number. I guess what, Scotti Bee will tell you.

What's Sirajul been like to see that?

I let it go on a tiny bit longer.

You know what you did? What you put your hand in my face. You ever put your hand in my face again, I'll break your hand. How does that sound? Was like that? No, it was more of like a excuse me, the music's playing, don't talk, obnoxious idiot.

Well I was just trying to. I didn't want you to talk over it because I don't want to cut you off mid sentence.

Oh yeah, because I'm the one who talks too much in this podcast.

Calm down, Scott, all will be okay, okay, welcome to Serial Killers. Thank you so much for listening. I'm Scotti B. That's Andrew over there and how's your day going, Andrew?

It was going great until some body put their hand in my face.

They really bother you that much. I was just trying to give you some direction.

So what was the direction? Shut the f up?

Yes, okay, yeah, So I have three cereals today, three one classic, one new, one bonus. What would you like to start with.

Such a radical train from our normal show?

Well?

Can we do the bonus box first? I just want to throw you for a loop? No, sorry, wait I said it. I wanted to throw you for a loop, dad joke.

I don't know what you're trying to say, Andrew.

That you were going to go, oh fruit loop.

I know what you're saying, but I don't know what you're saying because I'm just being difficult. I heard you say loop to throw myself off a bridge. There's no bridges here. So classic or new new?

You?

Sure?

Yeah?

Okay, it's a Kellogg's creation. Okay, we've had one of these before. Okay, you said you never had it before, but you did. Don't recall if you liked it all that much?

Is it checks?

I think there was some butt crack action going on when we had it last time. Think hard Andrew, I'm gonna go down to the cereal set.

We've probably had over one hundred different cereals. The fact that you're okay, it's.

A new one from Kellogg's. Okay, it's a filled cereal. Yes, can you guess? Is it the Filo one? Kelloggs doesn't have many filled cereals. Okay, actually only one that I can think of, so you should know.

Is it pop Tart cereal?

Oh, that's right, that is a filled one, So no, it's not Poptart. There's another one, is it Filo Cereal? That's Pillows And that's General Mills. And we did that already.

Well, you know, you said that there was a new flavor, so I thought maybe there's a new Fillo flavor.

No, it's a new crave flavor.

I don't like crave.

This one's cinnamon crunch.

Okay, well maybe I could do that then, And.

It's filled with chocolate, so I'm guessing it's kind of like, oh what, no, I'm guessing.

No, no, no, no, no no. I hate it when churos have chocolate on the inside. Churros are so good as it is. Why do people put chocolate in suros? Dipping? It in chocolate sauce. Yes, filling it with chocolate sauce. I don't like that.

Who said truros at Truros?

Well, it's cinnamon and it's shaped like a churo.

Oh there's a cartoon on the back.

Oh, so you're just not acknowledging anything I just said, because you're too focused on your damn cartoons.

I thought you'd be excited for this because it's basically like a cinnamon toast crunch filled with chocolate.

The witness comes to the stand.

No, all right, Well it's a family sized box because again, for some reason, some of these cereals I can only find it family size, and I don't understand.

But like, do you see where my anger comes from?

I don't.

Also, I don't like that the back of the box is trying to make it seem like the actual Crave cereal has an icon. Crave does not have a recognizable mascot.

Mascot, so don't try it. Well, they're hanging out with the creepy cinnamon and apple from the Oh, by the way, I saw the spooky applejacks with marshmallows in stores.

But didn't we already have apple jacks at marshmallows.

No, because remember I didn't get those because we figured they would just be way out of control suite, so I didn't. But I'll get you know, those are the Halloween ones, actually so perfect. When the monster cereals come, we'll grab those.

I can't wait. I've never had them.

This is baffling KM that you've never had a bowl of Count chocolate in your life.

I just haven't.

I apologize cinnamon crunch crave. I'm not excited with chocolate filling from Kellogg's.

I'm not.

There's definitely butt cracks, there's no there's no doubt. All right, let me grab some milk.

Fat did I wait?

No, it shop Rights shop Right milk, and I'm paying for it, so I should just say, hm hm milk.

We're not giving any free advertising dollars away.

When they give us some free milk, I'll say shop Right milk. But until then, no Shopright milk.

It's gonna be really funny when we one day actually do get an ad, be it like gravity blankets or like Netflix or something, and we actually have to stop in the middle of a podcast and be like, hey, guys, do you hate sleep time? We do too.

We're the serial Killers, especially when there's frosted flakes corumbs in my bed. Exactly.

Alright, get twenty percent of you.

Like, hey, we'll get there one day. All right, here we go, Andrew, you ready, look at the butt cracks first, then eat them?

Not exciting.

Oh my god, it looks like poop. Again, look look at it looks like butt cracks with poop.

Oh great, okay, okay, you know what my outrage I subsided. This is actually decent. I get this three bowls in a spoon.

You know I'm gonna do the same, and I'm going back for another spoonful.

Yeah you know I will too. If you want to just go and post production and delete my whole little tirade, that.

Would be great. Nope, because now it'll be funny.

Mm I like it. It's good because it's like not overpoweringly chocolate or cinnamon sugar.

Yeah, it's kind of. It's a nice mix of both.

Look at you now, No, but I'm an idiot, and I just realized, yes you are what really what happened. What I'm trying to say is, yes, this tastes like chocolate cinnamon toast crunch was hated and.

Now think chocolate in. Hold on, do we have any in the ball?

There's no ballmore. No, I took it.

Home, did you really? Yeah, that's so messed up.

Yeah, I gave it to my friend.

You're such a thief.

Yeah, because my friend. When I tell them I do a serial podcast, you like, do all the cereals just sit there? And I say, yes, it does. And so you know, if I see something I like, I take it home for everyone's try.

Great. Thanks for jacking it, all right, I mean taking the cereals. This is what I meant. All right. So we're onto the classic box, and I'll call it a classic. It came around in the early two thousands or so, maybe somewhere between two thousand and five and two thousand and seven. I couldn't nail the exact year down. Okay, it's an additional one to another classic in a red box.

Here. Just listen to Nobody.

Knows about this place.

The signers of cereal new taste, A new taste, Hello, the.

Same cereals.

Let's go look at all the marshmallows. You know what you mean? It's chatty cereal. Yeah, they're together, the magical marshmallows you love with chocolate cereal pieces. It's new chocolate lucky charms made with whole grain plus twelve vitamins and minerals, part of a complete breakfast.

No secret, doesn't chocolate lucky charms logically delicious? Yes?

Oh no, no, I don't want chocolate lucky charms.

Let me tell you what chocolate lucky charms are. Just like what count chocola, it's chocolate pieces, marshmallows.

Isn't there another cereal we had too that you said was like count chocolate.

Yes, cocoa puffs with marshmallows, all General Mills creations. So I don't get it, but I'm sure they're delicious. But did you notice in the commercial that he said the marshmallow pieces you love with chocolate cereal? So that just means there's more marshmallows than there is chocolate. Let's take a look again. This massive family size box. Look how happy the unicorn is. There's three new unicorn marshmallows.

Wait what Kellugg's doesn't Okay that I was gonna say, unicorn looks exactly like the unicorn from the US.

This unicorn is much happier. Look at this one. That one's just like this.

Hey, right, they have three new unicorns.

That's right, three new unicorn marshmallws one, two, three, four total because they had one before.

Thank you God, because I was so worried.

Wow, this definitely needs a Scotti shake. It's a big box. Yeah, that's your workout for the day is Oh my god, I'm sweating.

Yeah.

Wow, Look at the game on the back. Hop on a unicorn of your very own. Choose one of the four unicorn marshmallows as your game piece, place it on start, and get ready to race.

The sad part is when I'm not here on Saturdays and you're doing the board chip alone. I literally picture you here being like what.

But there's nobody here to see.

Well, Scott, you did it again.

They're magically delicious. A man, I love lucky charms.

I do too, but like again, I don't think everything.

Needs to be chocolate dy By the way, two years after Chocolate Lucky Charms came out. Yeah, guess what came out?

I you what?

Chocolate marshmallow madies? What multime They wait a little while, then they rip you off.

Listen, But didn't we like the malto meal one?

We did the marshmallow mades fantastic from multimeal. I don't think they make the chocolate marshmallow mades anymore.

I loved my scooters. I still think about them.

It's how were you dreaming about it night? Little oh's flying over your head when you're trying to sleep.

Little larger o's than a cheerio because they can't trade market all right.

So here we go, one percent milk an hour Chocolate Lucky Charms. I think that's going to be wonderful. I think it'll be slightly different than Count CHOCOLA.

Bonus box gonna fit into all this like I'm wondering what your bonus is. Oh, you'll see t ominous. They'll see they'll see oh, I put milk on my phone.

That's good, Lucky Charms. I'm gonna take this unicorn right here and this balloon and go.

One two things.

Count chalcu la count choku la.

Wall Wait is it chocula or is it chocula count chocula? Okay, because the way you were saying it was like Chokui la chakila five balls. I was wondering if you were like a Romanian prince or something.

Five m fin balls pretty good?

Yeah, it is like, O, God, must just go back and take out what I said about not everything you need to be chocolatey real grub.

I tell you you are very pessimistic and you always think bad, this is gonna suck, and then you eat it and it's delicious and vice versa. Well you think things are gonna be great and you're like, this is grass?

So is that what I really sound like to you?

It sure is?

Is that? How like? You go home and you're like, Amy, Yeah, we recorded a podcast today. Yeah you know we had chocolate lucky charms and Andrew was like, ew grass and then he was like, y, is that what you think I sound like? It is?

And I actually when I do her voice, I do that too. When she gets mad at me, I'm like, that's not how I think you talk. It's just me doing you.

Whenever somebody asks me about you, that's the I mean, you know my voice for you.

Yeah, that's where I got it from. Yeah, it's you doing me.

Yeah.

Hey, guess what what serial killers?

But okay, it's bonus box time all right now? I like, have we got rid of listening requests? Because we didn't get them anymore?

So I forgot about listening to request. Oh you know what, Hold on a second. I just have to give props to chocolate Lucky Charm request on Twitter. There were multiple ones, and I feel bad because I'm definitely leaving somebody out. But Randy said it's her off season Count Chocula because that's exactly what it tastes like. If you close your eyes and eat chocolate Lucky Charms, it is count Chocula.

You're not because I'm taking the chocolate Lucky Charms home. Okay, that's going to be missing. I actually really liked it. Oh good, It just tastes like a dessert. It's delicious. Oh wait, I didn't read it, that's right, I gave it. I give it four bowls in a spoon that is delicious, that.

Is fantastic, and someone else asked me to do it, and I'm so sorry that I can't find your tweet. I do love you, but we must move on. It's bonus box time now. This cereal I just found it. Yeah, no one asked me to do it. It's it's a I'm doing air quotes now healthy brand.

I love that we're incorporating more healthy cereals and it's really a nice change, I have to tell you.

But I don't think it really is healthy. I didn't look at the ingredients or anything. I just bought it because it was different, and I know we like different things sometimes. And then I found out that post actually is the mothership behind this brand.

Okay, and let me go.

Down to the cereal sack for the bonus box. Mom's Best What Mom's Best cereals again?

What?

Yeah, I'm gonna guess that this is one of those that is made by some granola ish company or was his barber back and then it was probably sol to Post. It does say Post consumer brands on it Mom's Best Cereals, so oh god, yeah, I don't know. However, you kept asking me for frosting many weas, So these are I guess healthy frosted miniwats because these are Mom's best sweetened wheatfols, so they kind of look like frosted miniweats. There's a girl on the back that looks like she's wearing her

Can I see something really quick? I don't really what exactly is the back of the box trying to say?

I thought you're gonna throw it at me. I don't know.

Okay, this is a cereal. Hey, why don't you try keeping a plant alive? What?

It's very earthy?

Instead of paper, try painting directly on leaves the rocks for fun.

Yeah, and I can tell you that this box is probably like one hundred percent recycled because feel it. It's very thin and flimsy.

Yeah. But what happens if this one has the zip bag? Wouldn't that be great? Oh?

But I bet it doesn't. I bet it's got some thin crap bag because they're trying to save the earth.

Let's see, this box was made with renewable wind energy.

Of course it was.

They literally lou the pieces of the cereal.

In in pots thatc an ingredient sugar.

Well, I mean it's sweetened wheatfuls Eat the best, then do what's best.

This box is full of great things.

Am I supposed to plant the box like you didn't? Really, we're supposed to mulch it and put seeds in it. All right, that's actually a really good idea for a healthy cereal. If it's like a renewable plant box. I don't know if that's even a thing, but maybe that would also affect the cereal.

All I smell is.

Cardboard you yeah, I mean that's pure carbos. Hold on, sorry, Scott, No, the third box of cereal? You don't use the fake bowl?

I forgot.

I forgot to get into those other bowls. Are they like collecting molds someplace around here?

Threw them in the kitchen. Oh my god. I just left them with caked on cereal and put them in the kitchen. Hopefully somebody took them home.

Frosted mini wheats are a great cereal in my opinion.

Well you're not these well, who knows? Maybe they are. I'm sorry, I don't want to judge. I don't want to be you and judge before I try, So let's pour some milk in here. I do like the frosting is nice. It's uh, you know, I don't know, maybe not as much as Kelloggs would do.

But it's difficult to make a bad frost in miniwheat, right, Like, how do you really mix up the original formula? It's literally wheat with sugar on it.

You would think, but let's see, I bet this is all natural cane sugar, not processed.

Well, you know, on the back it does say at the very bottoments its warning uses genetic engineering or something.

Partially produced with genetic engineering. That's right, you know. I bet it wasn't when Moms owned it then post took it over. Sorry, we're gonna make this crap in a lab. Yeah, all right, here we go.

Ever, frow from miniweed, just not as sweet.

I really don't taste the sweet. This might as well just be regular shredded wheat, because I really don't taste the sweet. I give Its thing is as soon as the milk touches the top part, the sugar goes away, whereas with Kellogg's it's there for the duration. Mmmm, well for the most of the duration.

Yeah, three balls. It's good, not great.

That one was sweet because it hadn't touched the milk. See that one was good. Now I'm gonna up at a spoon.

Okay, so what are you giving it?

Two balls in a spoon?

If my mom handed me this hero, I would say, I love you so much, but I don't think I can eat this. Mom.

It's not your best.

No. Well, usually I hate those puns, but that was a good one. Is that even a pun?

It It wasn't a pun. I was just you know, guess what, riffing and making a joke your morning is pretty powerful. It's kind of like the boss of the next twenty four hours. It doesn't just signal the start of a new day. It determines how that day is going to be lived. Will it be a good day a bad day? But can I say one thing?

Yes, you may like cereals right, mm hmm. I look at the unicorn cereal right, clearly marketed to children, right, captain crunch children, right, honey bunches of votes. Adults who said a mother needed her own cereal.

Well, some mom must have mixed this up in their kitchen at some point and the kid's like, hey man, that's good. And then she went into the cereal business.

I don't know, like the whole concept of it is where it's like female specific pens or something along those lines, where it's like, let's market this to mothers.

So well, it's not being marketed to mothers. It's probably being marketed to children because their mom is making it and it's best.

I don't know. I'm not buying that. I'm picturing them literally being like, if you're an active mother on the go, you have don't have to time. That's why they're giving you tips of what to do with your kids. Go pick a callow plant.

And look at the mom and the daughter paddleboarding. That's what I'm saying the river.

A mom needs a specific cereal. This doesn't make sense, but.

It's very responsible because they are wearing life vests. Guess what she's wearing, like some Quaker hat.

Well, look new from post Dad's Best Cereal.

That's right, I'm in. Let's make it.

Dad's Best Cereal, all the sugar and crap you could ever want.

All right, we gotta go because I don't We're not going anywhere else with.

This five slabs of bacon inside the cereal Dad's Best. Three pigs were killed to make this cereal Dad's Best. No milk needed, only beer.

For construction workers that look at girls' asses when they walk by Dad's Best.

No, no, it's perfect. Get your cat call on Dad's Best.

By the way, I watch out the window all the time there's a construction site right outside. I will specifically watch and wait for a girl to walk by and all six heads turn it once. I'll never understand that. Seriously, Hey baby, I mean, what do you think, Like, is she gonna say, all, let's go? Yeah, because I love just once for a girl to say, come on, guys, let's go, let's have a big sixum orgy right here in the alley. They'd be so scared they wouldn't know

Thing.

You do it, I can't.

You have to send us a Make sure you go to our serial Killers podcast page on Facebook. You go give that a like. We're gonna be starting a nice little fan group for you guys to all talk in. Scotty is throwing his stupid ass mother's wheatfols in it.

Get the name right.

I can't talk because you're throwing things at me and I'm trying to promote this podcast.

Go ahead, sorry, so give us something like on Facebook and shredded wheat will ruin the board.

Well that's your fault, not mine. Go on. Okay, So, like it's on Facebook, make sure you follow us there. Make sure you hit the subscribe button wherever you're listening to podcasts. We recently opened up on a whole bunch of other podcast sites. So wherever you're listening, we love that you're listening. Give us a like. Rate us too, because ratings do us wonders. Maybe one day this podcast will be sponsored by Gravity Blankets, but until then it's not.

I just want it to be sponsored by milk so I can stop buying milk.

Please, you could just use the money you'd get from a sponsor with the dairy board or something.

Just come on board.

There's a board of dairy.

Yes, there's a dairy board. Every genre of food has a board. There's a cheeseboard, and there's a's like the whatever the bean committee. Everyone has. They've all got something. All right. We got to go until next time. Thank you so much for listening to Serial Killers. We love you, we appreciate you, and we'll see you soon.

Crash diabetes. Your stomach is hanging over the table.

I thought that went away.

No,