Lying About His Age

Hello, Should I move it this way a little bit?

Is it recording?

Yeah, it's recording. We just no, no, I gotta move this.

What's going on?

If you're watching the gosh.

I think I scratched it.

We're just already well.

Welcome, Welcome to the premiere episode of Serial Killers inside the New Studios. It's very drab and bland. Yeah, I don't I see, I can't, God, Andrew.

It feels like we're in a spaceship.

We have to do something better, we have to come up with something.

I mean, I don't hate it.

I don't like it.

What are you trying to do?

I just want to play an intro?

It's very bright and can't see anything. Okay, god bless it's it's de bottom left wrong one.

I oh god, that.

Cereal makes them come please.

Thank you? Some some retired mm hmmm, hey.

Hey hey, oh my god, my here looks so bad.

Yeah. Also, there's don't say yeah, there's no there's no backdrop. It's just all white.

It's a spaceship.

I don't know. And also everyone in the hallway can hear us because there's no sound personal proof. We're not in a studio. We're just sitting in the green room, which is white, and we have to hold our microphones because this table is solo. How do I pour stuff? I don't know this. This needs to be worked on. Yeah, we need to come up with a permanent solution, a per minute studio. And I did take a picture of the Surreal library before we left. Yeah, the other studio.

Do you want to see what that would look like?

Why you have that?

I mean, I have the backdrop. It might take me a second, but I could try it.

It's gonna look Oh and we do this and then our head disappears, no un zoom, prospectiveom thing.

This feels very like I don't know. I feel like we're now a financial podcast or like one of those like motivational podcasts, like you know, when I started living my life, it was really like when I put myself in the drive a seat. Okay, Like it feels very motivational on here. I must be the white I totally get it. Anyway. Welcome to I'm gonna check entrepreneur. Well, I'm gonna scam you out of your money. Welcome to Serial Killer in my Cereal NFTs. Welcome to Serial Killers.

Yes, And today is Monday, January second. Happy New Year, Happy New Year. This is as long as I'll allow that. Well, tomorrow is the third. No more. Okay, Happy New Year. That's it. Okay, got it? What did you do? What did you do for New Year's Eve?

I don't know because it hasn't been New Year's Eve. We're recording this on December nineteen.

We probably did a ball chat from here also last week. Yeah, so I don't know. But this is the actual first serial Killers of the New year. And in the new studio.

Wow, it's also warm in here.

It's not that bad.

Its seventy but it's not.

It's bright.

It's very it's the light. We could feed them a little bit. Let's feed them. No, yeah, I want to feed it, my godww hold on, oh wow, I can I can travel with it.

No, those don't work yet. What Jeff said that the light people weren't here yet. It doesn't work yet.

So it's just this bright all the time.

That's it, all right? So Andrew, take the bottom cup from your three cup stack with the milk on top. Okay, so this is a since today is, you know, the day after New Year's Day. Okay, this is like a celebratory cereal because there's confetti and stuff. Great, even though this is the captain's birthday cereal. Look at that, it's capt'n birthday crunch, birthday crunch because it's his sixtieth birthday.

So exciting. He's always looked sixties. Yeah, seventy. Actually, you know what we can't do in here because there's no cleaning crew for the next couple of weeks.

We have to be careful.

We have to be extremely careful.

There's no garbage cans anywhere either. Have you noticed that not a garbage.

Care is not a single garbage can here? And so when Scotty like flutters around and goes, oh and drop cereal, he has to be the one actually clean it up here.

And the one or two garbage cans that there are have no bags in them. Yeah, these don't go up, do they?

They do?

They do?

You gotta screw this part. I think I don't know. Yeah, ah done.

I'm sorry.

Can you lift me up?

Let go? You got it? I got it? Okay.

Imagine if we dropped milk in here and then it just smelled like vomit for the next it will ten years.

Best present ever, says the cap'n Unscramble the tags to find what flavor cap'n Crunch got on his sixtieth birthday. But it's birthday cake. It's really simple. There's such an echo in this room.

I know, Well, you texting, buddy, I'm texting.

Didn't you make a resolution that you weren't going to do that while we're working?

No, that was not my resolution. But how fun.

It smells like birthday cake? Andy, your favorite? Yeah, these are cylindrical You better clean that up. Oval cylindrical pieces, right? Can you pay attention?

I am. You're saying they're cylindrical pieces. It's really not rocket science. I know what's the point of this.

It's Captain Crunch's birthday.

But like, oh they're ballooms.

Oh my god, one went under the couch. I can't get it.

Oh well you can't. Oh well this isn't your house yet.

Can you pour milk in your cup without spilling on the table?

No, I can't. Why because I'm terrible with that.

I'll do it. Please, ready, this is whole milk.

This is terrifying. We gotta yeah, we gotta get a tablecloth or something.

There are dull blue, purple, reddish pink, and regular capt'n crunch color pieces.

This is gonna be bad.

I don't like the way the extruder extruded them.

Their colors are very drab.

Okay, I like the consistency. I thought it was gonna be really crunchy and roof mouthy cut out. It's not. No, it's not very birthday cake tasty.

And I know what you're gonna say when I say it, You're gonna be pissed.

Ready, let me say it.

Jado's cheese doodle.

Cheese doodles.

Yep, this tastes like a cheese doodle. No, it doesn't good.

No, it has a consistency of a cheese doodle. There's no cheese on it.

No, it tastes like and the cheese doodles fans out there, the puffy ones tastes like the puffy one. And sometimes it's not fully covered with cheese, or it tastes like pirates booty that that popcorn.

You cannot say these things.

I can.

It doesn't taste like that has the consistency.

There's no cheese like it. There's no cheese toodles like that, yes, without the cheese flavoring. But sometimes cheese doodles I can't get fully, I can't. I can't, I can't, So it doesn't taste. This tastes like a doodle.

I'm giving it four balls because I really like it.

I dislike it, and I give it two balls.

Right, Happy birthday, cap'n.

Yeah, your birthday party sucked.

Look at the picture of the cereal on the front of the box. They are round balls. Yeah, these are not.

No, if these were balloons, they'd get fired because they did a terrible job in front.

And they're not bright colors like they are yet.

No, there's this. I get what they maybe were going for. It's like eighties retro, but it's not good. Well, and if I went to his birthday party, I would be very upset and want to leave.

If the cap'n is sixty years old, what year was he born?

He was born in nineteen sixty two.

No, it's the new year three three. Actually, when we're recording this, it's two, and when it came out it was two. So nineteen sixty two.

Very good, Andrew, Wow, So you try to stump and have that goo for you now.

The side of this says, try our other flavors regular Captain crunch, Captain crunch, crunch Berry, and captain crunch. Oops all berry, I don't see the peanut butter one on here. That frightens me a little bit. Can you stop with the phone, please turn over and talking, just start.

Just talking about flavors of captain crunch. You're not paying attention I am, because as you're going, oh.

There's a there's a like when you have phone out, there's crunch during sex phone. Excuse me, excuse me, I have to text. I know you're trying to do something to me, but I'm not paying attention. I'm got a text.

Look at these other flavors of captain crunch.

All right?

There is no one paying attention as I'm talking about flavors of captain crunch that we've had.

Can you say captain maybe a few more times?

Can you please go over these three flavors that we've had.

It's just rude.

Well, you're talking to yourself a.

Box you're like in your phone because it's also captain. It's captain. It is not captain. Okay, there is no captain. He's not a real ship captain. He's a captain because he's not a real captain.

Will Cappain also has oops allberries and he has a natural flavored one. So I wish that you'd pay attention to cereals. We've already tried diabetes.

That's not the one I wanted.

Well, it's clearly label diabetes.

So anyway, all right, I don't even care. I shook the box and Scotty shakes the box and nobody has submitted it.

And literally right up there, shake it's above it. Shake you blas you'd got you, shake your blocks, shake your glass. Scotty, shit.

This piece right here. I gotta just I'm gonna cut it for you. Fuck it in tucket. You need to cut. Yeah, your hair grows very fast. I know, very fast.

Early hair.

You'll be like got a haircut and then two weeks later, need a haircut.

Two weeks later. Yeah, well I go once every month and a half.

It's very poofy, it's boofomped.

Well yeah, it's also like you go in the subway and I have a hood on and then scarf.

I used to work with a woman Kathy and had a full on beehive. I mean it was giant. She was an old lady. She wore the worst perfume I've ever I've vomited every time I saw her.

Every time I'm black. Sounds like that is not fun for you anyway. This is fairly it went point degree cool.

That's because we're so hot, Andy. Yeah, this is a fairly new I believe from Cascadian farm. No sugar added, mixed berry cereal great, So basically it's your flakes, whole grain wheat, rice, date powder, dry blueberries, and strawberries. So the date powder is going to be your sweetener. Don't know if I like that, but I guess we'll see.

So we actually like dates a lot.

Flakes. Was the last time you were on one a date? Yeah?

Not recently?

Sorry, that's okay. Flakes, dried strawberries, dry blueberries. It looks like in there had some date powder for sweet dinning. Oh found it in Saggot Valley, Washington.

Huh exciting. Let's get in here, buddy, let's get in there.

This is one of the only cereals that I transferred from our old studio.

It's so hot.

It's not that bad.

It's hot and it's bright, and I don't like that.

You know what, I can't wait, can't wait to be done here and step out into the street, right in the middle of everything, seven million people walking around. I hate it so much.

I gotta say. The subway right isn't terrible from Yersey City.

No, if you could dip right into the subway from here, great, But.

Yeah, you gotta go to fifty seventh and then you take it to twenty third. But I guess you could also maybe take it all the way to World Trade.

May have one of your cups please. You know what, I actually didn't need to bring all those cups because the next one we could have just dumped right into the milk.

Why oh yeah, right, yeah, math.

We have to figure we need a refrigerator in here too. This is because technically where you.

Are in the look the smell is good.

Uh h, we're in the guest room, the green room.

Look at that. What that is a freeze dried something around like blueberry?

Yeah? You love blueberries.

I do.

I bring fresh blueberries into you and you love them. Okay, Oh man, I gave you some. I gave you my milk instead.

Yeah it's okay. I have a full glass. We'll use it for the next one.

Is it a glass her?

I don't know. I'm so sorry that, Like you hate the studio so much, but you're taking it out on me, and I'd really appreciate it. Also, your teeth look like veneers. They're not, though, I know. I guess thank you. That's they are perfect?

Thank you? Or no, I don't know.

No, no, it's it's a good thing. Your teeth look great.

I have no milk on the I'm out of the flock horrible. It's just not a bad cial. I actually might take this home. The fruit is plentiful. The strawberries almost immediately get soft, which I like. The blueberries are weird, they're just kind of mush.

Let me try this again.

I like this. Hmm okay, I really like it.

Mm hmmm.

No, not for me. I'm gonna give this one four balls as well. That's pretty good. I wished up flakes were a little bit. Aren't your little crisp beer? What are you thinking? Did someone just knock on the door. Hi, we're recording cereal killers. Come on in. No, is this your suitcase? No, there's a suitcase in here. I hope they don't need They gotta catch a flight, go say go see who it is. See if they need their suitcase. It's okay if they come in, hurry is it? Yeah,

I'm gonna give it three bowls. Also, you need to start being such a curmudget Cascadian form. I correct myself, Andrew, what how many three bowls?

Three?

Okay?

The flakes have zero taste to them.

They're sweetened with the date power.

Where are you throwing this away? Because there's no garbages.

I'm just gonna leave it the way back right after this Edward back this episode. You're really you're really grinding my gears. Aren't you happy you came all the way in? You're really grinding my gears? Bowden, How much longer is the trip? It's not, If anything, it was actually shorter, really. Yeah.

I left my apartment around nine ish, got on the path and then transfer trains and I was here so fast.

Interesting. Yeah, because the old place you would walk right.

Yeah, but I still can walk too sometimes, Oh my god, you're a mess. I can still walk all the way to thirty third Street Path. Sometimes I like to do that when it's nice out, like today, I might it's cold. Yeah, it's not that bad.

All right, let's move on to the next one. Okay, there are more flakes.

Okay.

They're left over from our friend Brimstone's jibpan package, and I salvage some of those things. I couldn't bring everything. You don't understand. There was so much stuff in our old studio. I brought what I could, okay, And I was there until like the last minute. You guys all left and I was still packing up and cleaning. I left it too, Oh, Okay, I didn't. I didn't want to leave that late, you know how long. It took me to get home an hour two hours.

Wow.

Yeah, so this is I like the fact that there's a coconut and I don't know what it is, but it looks like coconut flakes to me. Yeah, that's a cocoa flake. No, it's not chocolate.

Why are you just being such a contrary. I'm not married today.

Oh you mean co o c o instead of co O c o A.

I just want.

You are really really just.

This is another one from Nissan. It's the couple of soup people. So it's the matter.

It's like anything I say today, it'll be like, oh, this guy's blue. Actually it's the rule in this room is so white. No, it's actually an off eggs show. Wow, this milk is good. Oh what kind of milk? It's whole milk, idiot. Actually it's kept in it, not kept it's Cascadian farm. So that's you.

I don't even know what to called episode. What would you call this? I need help?

Niss in coconut.

Okay, this is Nissing coconut. It's in a bag and it's from Japan.

It's gonna smell very coconuty. I just have a feeling let's see. Oh, it's open.

It does smell very coconut, and I do like coconut. Who was that, by the way, with the suitcase?

So when we knew make sure of somebody in here of this area?

Was it someone that we knew.

This is gonna taste good?

I hope. So I wonder if it's actual coconut flakes or if it's like wheat flakes flavored, Like, wow, that's yummy. Mm hmm, I really like coconut. You won't be cool slivers of dark chocolate in it. That'll just be a dessert though.

Yeah, great, they should make this in the US. Drumbing Little Goods would go over really well.

There's probably something that's not good for you in this.

Well we'll never know.

Yeah. I think these are asbestos flakes.

Because the ingredients are in Japanese.

I'm kidding. These are really delicious.

Yeah, that's that's that's four bowls for me. That's delicious. If you're watching this from a big cereal company in the United States, which of course you are, because we are the premiere cereal podcast, make a coconut flake cereal because this is great.

There were coconut cheerios. I believe right.

Yeah, but in the same this tastes very coconuty. It's it's good, it's not overly sweet.

I give it four bawls in a spoon. I want to know what's in it because I just want to see if it's really good and healthy for you or if it's really bad and sugary for you. I can't tell the translator. Will it work? It rarely does. God, I really like this Today's these cereals were good. I liked all these cereals. Today. I give nothing less than four. Let's see on everything you got that Newman.

H hold on.

I needed to say I needed to thank Newman for something, and I forgot. I don't know what it was.

This is Japanese to English.

But anyway, if you want to send us cereal, we are at our new location and if you check out Cerial KILLERSPC dot com, Newman has graciously updated the address and you can send us cereal here to the new building because we need it. We need it now.

Nothing Uh. This says the body is happy and delicious a reward for the material. These are just called coconut flakes.

Coconut flakes, so missing coconut flakes.

This says, I used a lot of coconuts, a reward dish with plenty of flavorful ingredients that make your body happy. The more you chew, the more you enjoy the flavor it has overflowing luxurious flavor. Yeah, coconut derived food and country happy nutrition.

Okay, huh, it's really good. I like it so much.

Yeah, this is I see what the front says. Maybe there's like a name for it. That's actually pretty cool that it could translate. Oh, look at the little chef guy. I wonder what he said. Yeah, they're literally just called coconut flakes. Yeah, miss in coconut flakes. Perfect, love it. All right, this gets four balls.

This was good.

Thank you, Brimstone.

Yeah, man, follow us on all social platforms.

Killers right, how many minutes has it's been?

I don't know. I can't see it.

I don't know how to which one can't know. I can't see rampa, come on, I can't see with the light. Twenty minutes all right. Well, there's actually grains of coconut in there too.

I don't know about that.

Yeah, I'm tasting it. Yeah, it's got like that, you know, coconut has like that. Riiny taste. This has that I'm always the guy at the beach who buys the cocone. I know you're the guy walking around. Well no, you and I got scammed that time. But when I'm on the beach, I have the guy hack it open. I drink the stuff out. But I actually eat the coconut too. I don't just dumps of coconut in it.

That's good, that's good.

Bump it up, shut up, four in a spoon. Look at you, man, that's like so original. It's very rare that I feel we have an original cereal these days, and this one's good.

I don't. I don't feel that we're not We need our own space. Okay, I like this, but it's not. It's not.

It's very sterile.

It is.

We're not sterile people.

Maybe I could put all the cereal boxes like tape them to the wall.

Oh that's a great idea, Scott. Yeah, yeah, I'm totally think the engineers would let you.

I have to tell you, more than one person has told me that I could put shelving behind me in the other studio and put cereal back up.

People want like your cereal. It brought some charm.

I know you always made fun of me, But well I made.

Fun of you because you went overboard. You had enough shelving for a few and then you kind of like took that and ran with it and then built multiple shelves and had it just overflowing everywhere. But it was it was impressive. Yeah, but people would come through and go, oh my god. Now they're gonna be like, who are these idiots? Yeah right, I'm so sure that's what they're gonna say.

We'll see you next time with an all new serial Killers, maybe Wednesday with a ball chat New Year, trying to get back into the swing of things with the ball chats and everything. Once everybody's in this building and you know we're back on a regular schedule, then we can bang them out.

Exactly what bang them out for?

You? Bang them out? All right? Follow them out serial Killers piec check out serial killerspc dot com. Yeah, if you want a shirt, you can still get them. They're burying boxes somewhere, but we'll get to it at some point, some point, and that's all. Have a great week, Happy New Year. Stop saying that Happy New.

Year, Crunch Andrew, Happy birthday, Captain. Do you know where I'm going for the captain's birthday. No, I don't Cascadian Farms.

Andrew Crunch. Oh, you have a production call, so we can't do bullshap.

We can gooybye bye